2
3
4
Want want all heads all snitches leaving scars but go no stitches We hittin everything even moms Call em like tom I aint do the crime But I stay catching fines When planting trap like they mines We sell it raw like the 80’s Lotta friends I cut off because they was too shady We Are We are black we are Strong But we are not treated equal at all We try to praise the most high in song But all our soldier, brothers and leaders just seem to fall It's always hard to uplift black people we stay heading down Especially our black sisters We tear their confidence, beauty and knowledge from them; we knock off their crowns Drugs have ruined us and and separated us like the old bus sitters Come Come come with love We fly we free like a dove We fly we free we grow as a family Even as a tree We stay in love like we drunk Our old love is new love in a trunk
5
We We should not be bound to what they View We should not be bound to how they feel We should not be bound as to what they Hear We should not be bound to let them fear We should show them How we feel How we view How we hear How we fear I’m a firm or peace Thief With the lust of his pain I go insane With rustic sounds That create the thndurous Silence I suffocate with what’s Around me Smoke and dust That fog my path Along in which I carry a wrath That kills, not me But you. Slowly I call this payback For what I’ll never get back The tears The time The emotions You put into slow motion The sweet fire filled moments You took from me You’re a THIEF! A thief of robbing those From their emotions And Leaving then vulnerably Defenseless and empty You’re a THEIF! 6
Found Poem Redeem yourself for you have overlooked his greatness Sins and secrets slide up your skin the more you resist, the more you take in The hate you give is the reason you choke, for you cannot breathe until he has awoke. Poison yourself with the spirits of gin A beeping noise as your heart starts again You thought it was over but that’s not his plan He looked at you with a blinded eye but you had redeemed yourself and now you can fly
A Mother’s Abuse Admit that she’s alive for you to use her Not because you’re family, and not because of love She is alive only for you to light many matches and watch her burn till she’s above The only words you speak are lies The only looks that you give are full of judgement Is that really the world you wanted to show the bun that was in your oven? Your child’s much brighter and nicer than you However she can only open up to a few Hiding her scars and emptying her plate What more can you do to her before it’s too late
Focus on the Colors Focus on the colors in your present Not the rainbow after the storm but the black, white and gray throughout the day After all they’re still colors Not any less devine Colorful souls spill over empty without such lines that define Black lines serve to protect and white lines serve to lighten Give them a chance and you’ll be enlightened Skipping over gray puddles and missing the experience Following a rainbow that makes you delirious Focus on the colors of today and you’ll see Black white and gray is more what you need
7
Broken Hearts Broken hearts are made for two One for me and one for you Tell me have you heard the news We are now in love Two broken souls give the most bitter sweet I Love You’s Two broken hearts learning to love as a whole After you I can’t trust After you I won’t feel One thing for sure , we have pain in common Our fears are alike which collide with our conflicting thoughts Let me turn your demons into angels Let me hold your pain Let me hold your mind Let me ease you my love I know your scared to love me But I’m scared to love you too I would be so numb to one day find out all of this time I was in love and you weren’t faithful behind my back That you gave another the slightest attention you gave me all while telling me you love me That thought still drives me insane past midnight Unknowing and I hate it But I trust you I trust you with my mind not my heart so I don’t break myself again As time goes on my heart will without another thought lose this doubt Just keep loving me Just show me the real Your the love I never had your my love how funny it sounds My love
8
For You, My Love For you I’d cross a bridge with no path For you I’d give my brain and think without a real thought For you I’d give all my pens and write with my bloodied finger until I bleed completely out of love All for you .. my love, my heart, my mind For you I’d get in the biggest trouble with my birth giver For you I’d give my coat and walk to where you are in the winter I’d do it for you, I’d do it for us For us I’ll sacrifice my happiness For us I’ll lock myself away from the world For us I’ll make things right even though you may be left For us I’ll stay with you forever , I’ll never leave.. so dont you leave me If you leave there is no love If you leave there is no breath If you leave there is no more purple hearts If you leave you will tear me apart.. I’m really in too deep So for you, for us .. love me. Heartless
I'm not sure where my feelings reside Maybe because I really have no feelings inside I feel hurt and pain but no love Yet I try to love with a heart that is so numb If I was to hurt you I swear id feel so dumb There's no sense in figuring out what im going through because I don't open up to anyone not even you I didn't mean to fuck you over I mean it There's an emptiness on the inside but I can't see it I shut you out unaware but I promise I do this because my unconsciousness cares Do you realize you kiss the face of vacancy I shamed the others but the real shame is in me They say they hate people like me but drop the hate and just pray for people like me I'm so lost , been lost for a long time now Soon as I think I'm ready for commitment the soulless reality breaks my mind down. I move too fast , think too slow I realize im unsure of what I want I never really know Don't think less of me please Only God knows my sincerity late nights when I'm on my knees. How does it feel to not feel I'm a hard shell in and out with little emotion triggered in my subconscious People think it's pride but they have no clue how many dry tears I've cried On my clock I have no time Redemption can never leave my mind There's forgiveness for my ways , wish I could feel it 9
Nothingness In hell it gets icy cold On earth the sun shines for even the darkest souls Lost and confused She's in rage because she knew she was being used He was tired Tired of having faith but got nowhere higher They had to find god because they realized the devil was a liar Love could she no more, her heart was shattered to the core She loved him with everything in her but she felt he didn't love her back The antagonizing thoughts, oh what love costs As she turned to the sky and let out a cry she realized there was little to no control of her emotions at night He bashes his mind knowing he hurt her another time Why can't he get it right? They seek for connection in the wrong places Searching for love in empty souls and blank faces The aching pain of nothingness, they cried out, lord have mercy on me, for I have no hope left to see Something happened. A feeling so new, very rare There was a change in the thick night air As sorrow left serenity approached, there was some force in the hearts of both They found their trust in God as it should have been, they are grateful just to be happy again
10
In Touch Sometimes i can’t help but to ask you to say it all again Tell me you love me Tell me you love me again Hearing those words Seeing your mouth move as the sweet melody of your voice expresses the emotion you feel Looking into your eyes as i focus on the sentiment of your words I am completely mesmerized by your existence You are so perfect to me You are so perfect for me You are my better even when others want you to be my worst You are my good even when others want you to be my bad You are my love when for others I feel hate You are my solace even when I am sad I pray forever is real because I don’t know what I would do without you , I swear You are a love unlike I’ve ever felt or had Sometimes people have this kinda love with someone who they thought was right But I promise I’ve never loved, cared for, been attached to, or connected with someone the way I do all these things with you You are my first love, My final love, I love you I cannot wait until your last name is mine I sigh and bat my eyes at the sight of your presence , emotional when we converse deep feeling I write about you a lot, you're my muse , my inspiration Love me forever, never let me down , never break my heart, never leave me alone
11
Hate. Hate comes when you love. Hate comes when you trust. Hate comes from family; hate comes from friends. Hate comes with enemies; hate will never end. Hate can kill you if you let it; hate dies when you don't. Hate comes as a kid; hate comes when you grow. Hate attracts success; hate attracts happiness. Hate attracts fame; hate attracts flashiness. Hate is the root to all evil; don't let hate eat you. Hate.
Love. Love is like a heart attack that never stops. Love is like a never ending mood swing. Love is like water to some and poison to others. Love comes when the sun rises and stays when the moon glows. Love can make you. Love can break you. Love can bring fear, love can bring strength. Love will never die.
Poverty. Poverty has struck and it turned to robbery. The kids are losing faith and they’re starting to question prophecies. Who's going to show them light if they don’t believe in philosophies? They’re forced to be a man because nobody believes in fathering. He was evicted from his housing. They took him straight to county. Mama stressing, lived in two bedrooms it was nothing positive. He started rapping and got a little buzz but that was opposite. He never went to school since he moved but it was moderate. Poverty.
12
Growing Up Growing up to be president eating off a silver plate, When you made mistakes in life you just want a clean slate. Growing up in the streets wasn’t easy, I had bros by my side, that’s Taji. Who’s trill as me, rolling two tree Gambling in the streets trying to make any kind of money. N.B.E. growing up in the hood, Lyrical geniuses all with their own specialty. Commence to popping pills, call it fatal efficiency. I delete then flee, Like banana peels for heels my spill is so legit. I was a little broke growing up but let a real lyricist start this. Growing up they told me don’t go against the grain, soIi isolated myself and stayed in my lane. I meditated, hella faded, feeling the cromakalim in my brain. I remember growing up, poor neighborhood, And me? I’m the Fresh Prince, I’m Will Smith to the hood. Lxve Isn’t Enxugh My grandma once told me “old love doesn’t rust”, Maybe that’s why me and some of my exes still keep in touch, And maybe that’s why I smile when your name comes up. Sometimes I might hit your phone just to see what’s up, It’s crazy how thing change so much. Damn, what happened to us, It was all innocent, back when I just had a crush. Back in highschool I used to come and sit at your table for lunch, And you would dance around the subject, now let’s get straight to the punch. Sometimes love isn’t enough, Sometimes you just have to adjust, And it’s some things that we had to discuss. A relationship will never make it far without trust, And all this fight got you wondering, “is it worth all the fuss?”. Billy ocean said the tough gets going when the going gets tough, Sometimes you gotta dig deep to find that diamond in the rough, Man we were so freaking close but you decided to give up. Sometimes you need a little help just to make it over the hump. How come you were never there for support whenever I needed a crutch? I’m feeling down and I need to get up. Got me all on edge, would if I decided to jump, And if i told you I was leaving would you try to call my bluff?
13
Life is a Pain I bet they’d never seen a demon gone good, These are all of the symptoms of growing up in the hood. It’s insane; growing up they told me don’t go against the grain. Now you scratch my back, I see your pleasure in my pain. Kids growing up to be little pricks, Blue and black penny kicks. Growing up, making moves; it’s all gonna better my future. Drugs are a constant obstacle; I’m a consecutive user. Don’t wake up. Don’t wake up. Don’t wake up too fast. I know there’s a barbed wire in your past. I was small and skinny but I made moves and that’s what’s up, It was hard for me and moms growing. I’m the best that’s up and coming, I was born to do this thing. It’s been a long day coming, And that’s the song we sing. Lyrically or physically you step to me you rest in heat, You don’t deserve peace. It’s because you were never sorry, You never drop down on your knees. You all are holding me down, I have to cut the leash. I got love for your body and skin tone, You’re coming up short just like a garden gnome. You “thugs” buying chain you can’t afford, Life is digging you deeper and you keep coming up short.
14
Trapped Beneath Forever I ain’t run yet and I never will, Teaming with demons they are sheming a kill. Demons weeping as angels play in the sunlight, Walter payton merciadez sweetness in every ride. She seen that Louis print aint been to church since. Hey die hard breaking the limit awaken my inner demon, Needed coke needed dope yeah I gave her a fix. Demons are trapped inside as I experience spirits, getting to know his demons. Got racks? I ain’t talking tits, Because that booty mad thick behind her juicy lips. Get your money up jewelry tight swagger right, I lay awake at night. I fight these demons that are inside. Red eyed demons whispering the devil’s secrets. What about the crack that they sell to put food in their kids Mini fourteen stuffed in my denim jeans, But I got secrets plot and schemes. The outskirts distribute my vision, Contribute to the burns I position. Permanent brain damage same as tattoos, Before I’m gone secrets are not told to the youth. Hoping you well, I know it’s hell, Can’t tell secrets because people just tell. Illuminati’s all seeing eye, Constant surveillance, You can’t hide don’t try. Illuminati puppets being pulled on strings. Before I’m gone, my feet are planted fight my conscience, I don’t know what to do so I throw illuminati signs. Conspiracy theories, illuminati leaves the rest to die.
15
Bully She's had enough She doesn't stand up for herself She thinks it's fine Let me help No, I can handle myself Let me fight her I can win Bad choice you’re not a fighter I’m bigger than her I can win Not yet it’s not smart She's doing it again bullying me I've had enough we’re fighting Go ahead if you lose it's your fault I lost they’re going to bully me even more Actually they respect you for standing up for yourself But you’re not fighting again Hostile
Hostile how it turns the hospitable to criminal And the kindhearted to cold hearted and turns the average man to come with a tangible plan A million-dollar scheme worth a billion dollar dream Money is a drug and we are all fiends.
Barely Even Started Barely even started and all you sense is deceit All your senses depleted all your wills is defeated All you’re left with is promises, pens, pads, and prophecies that never seize to stop your need for greed and indeed you’ll probably hope to be accepted by aristocracies
16
When I Let Prayers Go When I let prayers go I hope the Lord come correct But instead the landlord come collect The lease is long overdue and if we a month late again he’ll kick us to the avenue So please don’t cut off the heat we tryna make ends meet
Happiness If you were told happiness around the corner wealth is down the street Would you then compete For something that ain’t even guaranteed Would you walk a thousand miles And for every mile a diamond be your mile stone? Work so hard your greatest fear is that you’ll die alone
Look There, Look Up, Look Back Look there look up look back People act like they don’t have sense Fight or flight never flight just fight White men want us locked up Never could the system be this corrupt Their moms and dads locked up for trying to feed them Big brothers gunned down by other big brothers And we are on the verge of extinction
17
Thug Cry I Ain't gone lie I thought you end up showing me the real you make me decide that if I take off leave you in the review my insecurities got me thinking that it’s just a preview I hate so say it but I always thought that I would leave Betrayed I’ve been betrayed, tryna put you on yo feet Tryna make sure that you eat, tryna paint what you ain't see but that’s okay, I’ve Been betrayed Don’t Wait Don’t wait until I die to say you grew up with me Don’t wait until I die to try and tell me everything Don’t wait until I die to try and shed a tear for me Strong Mom
Then there was a server and everybody loved her Even in spite Of working all night Her heart was warm No matter the storm The elders she love gave so many hugs. They made her glow With giving her gifts and tips galore They never know that to her they were a bore When things are on her mind She spends every dime On movies and books that kept her mind hooked. She wore her hair in the black And always threw on black slacks Because paying the bills that were due was all she knew Waiting on Me I know they’re waiting on me, I told them sorry for The wait. I was debating on it. I came along way from walking in the rain and storming, now The clouds clearing up, can’t wait until the morning. 18
My Rhymes 1 You & me will always be tight Loving me every single day n night Even though I'm always acting like a fool I find myself always coming back to you. You had my back more than anybody else with you I can always be myself. 2 If you do not know me don’t speak on my name Cause I’m stressed and I’m feeling pain I got feelings I’m all in the rain Stuck with my brothers wont switch on my guys I was just down bad to my last. Now I’m running up all these racks. 3 Remember when I was young I aint have nun My hs teacher told me I wasn’t gone be nun But that cant hold me Don’t smile in my face when you dropping salt I’m already knowing with you doing keep them out yo business don’t ever make them feel important I work onna 10 speed the money call I’m going if its snowing.
19
Love Poem Your love has fallen short you have Been my only support
I Can Rhyme She said you can’t do it She said you’re not so bright But I can Rhyme She wasn’t right She said blue And I said zoo She said purple with a grin Well what could I do
20
The struggle of life Is one of our greatest Blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive and Godlike. It teaches us that Although the world is full of Suffering, it is also full of The overcoming of it.
For Him For him The ocean Was more Than a dream It was a place He needed to visit To find himself And when he returned To the city You could see the sun In his eyes the wind In his hair he was changed.
21
My words tell the story Of the people I barely know Or goes through the struggle As much as I do My words bring peace between A blood and crip Or a young boy lost on A strip My words tell a story Of a young black man stuck Between a rock and a Hard place My words would make a racist Cringe just because the time That I spend reading and writing And understanding where my People have been My words bring hope back to my generation So we won’t end up another Lost generation.
22
My Love Nancy, my love for you is rapidly growing. The Sleepless nights I have daydreaming about you. The overflowing thoughts I have every day With the thought of me proposing to you lingers in my mind You are the engine to my car. Every single day I find it impossible to live without you I love you my beautiful Nancy Thought of me losing you because how foolish I acted hurts me. I see the ways of my actions. I see that I hurt you multiple times in a week. I take responsibility for hurting you. I cringe of the fact that I didn’t see my actions at the moment when it was necessary. I love you my beautiful Nancy You are the most gorgeous person that I have ever laid eyes on and the fact that I have you to myself brings excitement in my life. Now I have the growing passion to have adventures with you. I promise you I will never grow tired with you and I will never leave your side. From your gorgeous smile to your crispy toes I have never met a girl that have made me whole. From this point on no problem will become bigger than this relationship. You are my boo until the end. Be my Queen Nancy? I love you soooo much❤️❤️ The Things I Miss. I miss the days during summer that were relaxing. The hot boring days of a little kid playing games Until I go to sleep. Wasting days in the summer is like watching rocks fall. Sometimes playing basketball all day is a benefit, having something to do besides wasting my day... Sleeping the days away, just waiting for School to start in the fall and eating is the next best thing to do. Watching Youtube videos, drinking pop and anime….. BC Anime is life!!!!
23
One Couple With Half of a Heart I love you I adore you You complete me But do I complete you? You say you love me You say I am the one for you But do you really mean that? My heart goes out for you I want to be there for you But why won't you be there for me? While you're out thinking about you I am alone thinking about us While you tend more to your friends I am here wondering why you won't do the same for me Why after every argument or every fight you leave? Why not sew the pieces back together? Love should be one heart one mind Not half a heart Why won't you bring your half to mine and make the heart whole? Instead of having a broken heart When will you become one with me?
24
Why'd You Tell Me? Why'd you tell me that you loved me? I can’t handle that anymore. Last year my heart was shattered by a girl who loved me but you say you’re different I know you’re not like her but I must distance myself From your love but I don't want you to leave because I love you too and my actions dont show it because I’m scared to let you know. She found out I loved her and abused my love Our friends don't see the inside of us giving statements that don’t mean shit. Our time is near can't do it yet it's too soon. We Made It 2018 we made it Same guys from 17 who Imma be with I said it Dumb decision couldn't find anybody better These niggas ain't even about they cheddar They not here to make your life better These niggas are the devils set up Stay away momma said But why I gotta be so hard head Inna car with guns sounds fun Get high what could be wrong Next day I'm in the office I was on snapchat Principal said is it a real gun of course not But that ain't mean shit to the cops Now I'm in a cell Only can call my momma she the only one who gives a hell My so call friends saying free me But when I got out they didn't even make an effort to see me House arrest I deserve it take my time and serve it Probation seems extreme it's just a bb gun brandishing whats that even mean Label me a menace that's all the judge can see
25
Internment As the Sun rises from the night another horrid day will rise From the pain and agony I weep these tears Into my words with the barbwire like tiny swords piercing my soul I could only watch the freedom i wish for from a far With the smell of the hole choking our nostrils With each breath we take losing our life’s slowly Exposing ourselves was the most painful thing Even now the others are killing themselves Out of despair and hardship I can see myself deteriorating away I feel as though i'm going to die and be forgotten But some type of miracle has to come and the words of my own shall not be forgotten and turned to dust But i can tell i won't make it For this day may be my last‌
26
Words to Get Through A Day! Having a good day comes with having a good sleep & breakfast to start the day off. Wake up with a POSITIVE mindset !! Don’t let anyone ruin it & stay focus at all times !! Set small goals to achieve and accomplish them before the day is over. This is what a good day consists of.
27
Everybody Has A Name Everybody has a name Some are different, Some the same, Some are short, Some are long, All are right, None are wrong, I like my name, It’s special to me, It’s exactly who, I want to be
Real Life Poem Life gives you many curveballs, You have to overcome them and get that bread, Don’t worry about these females, don’t let them get to your head. Stack that money up and stay true to the ones who mess with you the most.
28
Final Hours The joy, the sun, the life I have lived is so great. My eyes rest upon the shoulder of God as he begins to show me my time is almost up. My frail body begins to lose strength as I lay there seeing the birds sing for me like a harmony. The sky, bright blue with not a cloud in sight, like the clear ocean waters of the Mediterranean. A man rushed into my room saying “Dad, no, don’t die!” but once I heard it I smiled having it resemble my last goodbye. I put my hand on his lap when he was crying. “Don’t be sad, son,” I said before dying. The mood of the room lifted with a silence. The man opened the window, forgetting that I was dying. "He's in a better place now,” is what murmured under his breath before realizing that this shouldn’t defy him. Crunch! The morning is bright! Not a blemish of negativity in sight! I rush down at 8am in the morning to begin the feast of breakfast, quickly grabbing the cinnamon toast crunch of the top of the refrigerator to begin it. I pour the cereal into a prepared bowl hearing the sound of the cereal pour into the bowl like marching men to a battle. The milk began to be poured into the bowl giving off its silk and smooth texture completing it as a whole. I grab the spoon and bring it to my mouth, to merely having everything around me get drowned out by the sound of a crunch in my mouth. Until it Heats We are in trouble! Sound the trumpets! The baked beans haven’t been on the stove long enough to even cut it. Well f*ck it. Imma need this mac and cheese to go inside the oven! Is the grill going? You’re telling me you’re having a smoke break and the burgers aren't even done? How dumb! You will be fired before the job is done! Heat up the oven more! Get em collard greens looking right! If not I’ll make sure you won’t have another paycheck and you will go hungry tonight! Do your job right! We’re feeding close to 1 thousand people! Quick I need some cigs, so take me to Giant Eagle.
29
She Was the Most Beautiful Person I've Ever Met She was the most beautiful person I've ever met I love her more than I could ever love myself. The way her eyes sparkled when she spoke about something she absolutely loved, the rain, her music, the shows she watched. I loved how she was beautiful without even trying, in every way possible, from the way she smiled to her competitive personality. All of it was beautiful to me. Oh god her eyes, how I could stare at them for decades. Wasn't even close to an ocean. No when I looked into her eyes I saw the universe, maybe because she was. They were the nights sky, an abyss I could get lost in, she would be her without it. She was cosmic, a goddess even, but the most beautiful thing about her was the way she said “I love you” She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever met
30
31
Stain of His Voice My small face sinking in my hands with tears pouring out. He had a habit of bringing this out of my mother and I. His voice so powerful it made us feel the pain he wanted to drill into our skin and minds. His voice had more of a fearful impact on us than his gun did. At least with a gun it would be instant; with his voice it never ended, with my mom never trying harder to put an end to it, it would never end. His drunkenness affected who would become. The outcome of it was the devil .When I say my father would change into this demon, where his voice became a trigger of fear to his own daughter and wife I mean it. Memories of shattered glass, bloody hands, empty bottles, bloody bruised mother’s face, and red hand prints on my back had forever stained my memories. His actions have greatly impacted who I've become today. I am grateful for the imprint he left on my childhood. My father will always be my father nothing could ever change that. The love I have for him could never be washed away from my tears. Funny how that works. Funny how that could even be possible honestly. The stain he left on me flashes time and time again like short clips from a movie except their moments from my life's timeline. In those instances water builds in the lids of my eyes and my breathing get heavier, my hands run along my arms and attack my arms, my thoughts become venomous, and depressing. They lead me to a dark hole. Pulling myself aside from my mind and having to drag myself out of that dark whole is probably one of the biggest challenges I face whenever my mind decides to attack itself. You left stains of common loss. Loss of promises you made, loss of your presences with love that was needed at times. So now any feeling that even resembles loss or rejection as big or as small that it could be. Those clips come in and attack my heart and mind. All thanks to the actions you created in my life that physically, emotionally, and mentally harmed my mother and I. “The pain of rejection or loss feels as real as physical pain because it activates the danes area in the brain�-from my friends social psych class. Again thanks Dad. You did a great job being a part of who I became and showed me who not to be and what not to do. Those weren't even your intentions; you were too gone to even form a full sentence.
32
Mr. Mitchell had been a very soft, subdued man, a learned behavior from his wife. Mrs.Mitchell was a alluring spirit with a powerful energy about her. Her big doe eyes are what drew Mr. Mitchell to her like a moth to light. Mrs.Mitchell always warned her husband never to look into her eyes during twilight, the few sparing minutes before dark. Every night, as Mr.Mitchell was doing some miniscule task, Mrs.Mitchell would sneak out into the dusk and disappear into the trees, unnoticed for some purpose. It puzzled him as he would call out to his wife, and would get no response. The mysterious act, troubled him in the beginning of their half a century marriage, but now he would pay it no mind. Just an ongoing habit of his beloved wife. One day, as Mr. Mitchell travelled through the brush on his long journey on foot towards his home he realized his deadline of twilight was rapidly approaching. He neared closer to the forest edge, when he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up one by one. He was not alone. He swept his gaze over the increasingly darkening landscape to find the source of the piercing gaze that was burning a hole into his face. Out of the shadows stepped his beautiful wife, appearing like a ghost. It was so instantaneous; if he were to blink he would have missed it completely. As he approached the billowing figure, he noticed that something was remotely off about his wife. Her eyes, the beautiful shimmering pools of burnt liquid honey, had started to obtain a silvery glow about them. Her lips spread into an unrecognizable and menacing smile. “Oh honey,” she breathed, “I told you not to look.” As Mr.Mitchell gasped in horror, his angel with porcelain complexion melted into a horrifying creature. It had slimy,scaly skin that was bursting with acidic compounds. Her hair had turned to a disgusting, stringy mop that reeked of death. Her once pearly and luminous teeth had become caked with plaque and decayed by rot.
She squawked in a raspy voice, and waved her flimsy hands “Mr.Mitchell of May the 14th, I warned you not to sneak a peek, because of this, for your eyes you must seek.” As she finished creaking her last words, Mr.Mitchell felt his eyes turn to a searing hot liquid and then a vapor. His body began to wither and dry up until he was little more than a bag of bones clothed in skin. The witch who he had loved so much swirled her hand holding the poor man’s eyes into the everpool that she had crafted herself. Hence the name, the pool was bottomless. The horrifying creature that was once Mrs. Mitchell released her husband’s eyes into the depths of the lake and watched them descend into eternity. Mr.Mitchell made a lunge out of desperation for his organs of sight , all to no avail. The sun had almost completely set at this point and Mr.Mitchell’s body started to seize up due to the effects of the witch’s curse. As the last wisps of sunlight faded, Mr. Mitchell turned into a solid mass, frozen until the next twilight, where he would be forever condemned to search for his eyes. As for Mrs.Mitchell , with the light went the witch and she morphed back herself. She came to the horrible realization of what she had done to her only lover. She wept tears as silver as the moon all night long, vowing to never leave his side.
33
Bonafede Performer Hello there, my name is Elizabeth Patty. Age 24, graduate of Harvard University and proud daughter of Terrence J. Patty. I’ve been a performer at the Graves Theatre for 12 years and counting, and will prevail to be as good as my father one day through hard work and determination. I’ve practiced that phrase for months and it still sends dread through my body everytime I mention being a performer. When I was around the age of 10 I dreamt of acting, watching my father and mother dance across the stage quoting Shakespeare’s Hamlet. On my 12th birthday I couldn’t believe it but my dream had finally came true. I became an actress, the most energetic young actress there ever was. However, that all changed the day mother left. Father never talks about it, every time I brought her up Father would just shush me and tell me to get ready for my next performance. I didn’t even have to be on stage for the feeling of fake all around me. My father is a mechanic and I am his robot. I have plays every Wednesday and rehearsal every other day but Tuesday. My father feels that his stars put on better performances with a day of rest. But I never do; Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. It’s the day Father has to leave town for a play’s promotion. It’s the day where I can peel away at the robot I had to pretend to be for my father. Once that thick, gruesome layer is off and away from my body I love to go out to the coastline and look for seashells. It was mine and my mother’s favorite hobby when she was alive. Sometimes I can hear her name over the ocean when I rest on the dock. I sat quietly, watching out over the ocean as mother did me from the sky I imagine. I started to hear noises, odd ones like the ones no one could even explain. It was my name, Liz. Only my mother has ever called me that so I thought it was just my grieving doing the talking for me. Yet, I hear it again, calling even louder pulling me towards the ocean. I reach out to the sea, almost falling over into the deep blue color of my mother’s eyes but someone catches me. Still dazed by the blue I don’t even notice the tall, handsome man who just saved my life. I see him moving his lips trying to communicate with me but I don’t even hear a word still distracted by his good looks. I finally knock myself out of it and hear the name Keres, his name is Keres. I’ve heard of that name before but I couldn’t quite remember from where. I start to introduce myself. “Hello there my name is Elizabeth, nice to meet you Keres.” “Nice to meet you too ma’am, you okay there? I mean you did almost fall into the lake.” “Oh don’t worry about me I’m good and alive thanks to you. I should be on my way back home anyways before Father gets home. He doesn’t really like me going out anymore.” I try not to look him directly in the eye; I’d rather not let a stranger know how much I hate my father, but when I look up I see nothing but confusion in his face. “Why doesn’t your father allow you to be out anymore, Liz?” I get taken aback hearing Keres call me Liz as I haven’t heard so in years. I stutter trying to explain my despicable situations to him. “I.I..I um well you see my father is a controlling man; he never really asks what I want to do or if I’m even up for performing anymore-” “You say you perform do you? Well I’d love to come see one of your plays sometime soon.” “Well yes I perform Keres, and we have a show tomorrow, but as I’ve said before it’s not really a thing I’m passionate about anymore. I just feel that I can never really be who I-” “Isn’t that the point of acting. Putting on a part?” “Well yes but-” “If you really want to pull a performance both inside and out I can help with that you know. However you will have to come home with me.” I stand eery, not knowing if I should trust this handsome stranger yet wanting to so badly. He’s a very attractive man but come on Elizabeth have some control over yourself. “As you say Keres, help me be what I yearn to be.” We begin walking on the coastline taking the long route as Keres says to his place. We get to Keres’ place and it’s...unique at most. Plant and animal fossils surround his walls, reminding of the beauty of death. “So what do you think Liz?” “Will you please not call me Liz I remind you Keres it is very bothersome for me, but I think it’s very dark yet refreshing. Knowing that there’s no more secrets hiding the beauty of these specimens.” “Well that’s certainly a way to put it. All the other girls that I’ve brought here have always been afraid of the pla-” “Other girls?” I don’t know why but the fact of him giving other girls tours bugged me for some 34
reason. I mean I met this stranger a half an hour ago. “Yes other girls Elizabeth, some of us actually choose to venture out in the world of dating. Although all the other girls weren’t quite as pretty as you until the incident.” “What incident Keres?” “They died.” An awkward silence waved over the room. None of us knew what to say after that. I feel him trying to look into my eyes but I just can’t, not yet. “So how exactly can you help me express how I feel on stage? Especially by my performance tomorrow.” “I’m not the type of man that shares my secrets Elizabeth, it can be very dangerous at times. I suggest you just drink this and go lay down. I guarantee that you’ll wake up beautiful and feeling like yourself inside and out.” “What do you mean drink this; what is it?” “It’s beer!” He laughed wildly, making me even more cautious. Even if it was beer, I never drank before. Father would never allow me to. But Father isn’t here; I have to remember that. If this man says he can help me be who I am on the inside I’m going to jump at the chance. I take the strange substance by hand and gulp it down quickly as if I hadn’t my whole world would come crashing down at any moment. I instantly start to get dizzy, slurring my words trying to remember where I was. Could it be? Had Keres poisoned me? I didn’t want to believe the chance of Keres harming me. I know we only met today but I thought that at least he was my friend. The last thing I see is the color blue, as if I was staring straight at my mother. “Sweet dreams Liz; you’ll see her again soon and she’ll help you shine bright.” Everything fades. I wake up to my mother’s face right in front of me. Calling from the same voice I heard at the dock last evening. I try to speak but I’m drowning. I realize that I am completely submerged in the ocean and begin to panic. What the hell am I doing in the ocean! “Calm down, Liz.” I look up, and there she is again. I can’t remember her looking this beautiful. “It’s okay baby, you don’t have to talk. Just think to me.” “Mom?” “Yes sweetie?” “What are you doing here? What am I doing here? Where the heck is Keres, is he trying to kill me?” “I’m here to help you be what you are inside Liz. You have to trust me okay.” “Trust you? How could I ever trust you after what you’ve done. You left me and Father; I hate performing now and it’s all your fault!” “Oh it’s my fault is it? That’s not what Keres told me when he dropped you in here..You want to finally be who you are right Liz?” “Well yes mother but-” “Then close your eyes and count to ten.” “But why?” “Just do it please baby” “Alright then but please don’t leave me again mother. I love you.” “I’m always with you darling.” I begin to count slowly in my head; I don’t know why but it seems like with every number that goes by in my head I feel a burning sensation against my skin. Like I was being burned alive yet I was drowning. The pain intensified every second and I couldn’t take the pain anymore, I begin screaming. Bubbles leaving my body more by the second. Things go white and the only thing I see is Keres. He pulls me out of the ocean giving me CPR as if I needed it (which I did, he just didn’t need to know that) I push him off of me coughing out water from my lungs. “Well I certainly would say this is Deja Vu wouldn’t you Elizabeth?” He smirks at me as he hasn’t set me up for death. “What the hell is wrong with you Keres! You try and swoon me with your looks and charm just to throw me into the ocean. I thought I could trust you.” “So you think I’m handsome?” I look at him appalled. “Did you even hear anything I just said?” “I heard that you think I’m cute, which I know of course. But come on Liz, you’ve got a performance to go to.” Before I could even say anything Keres picks me up and puts me in his car driving me to the theatre. I’m too angry to even reject it happening, I don’t need Father to be even more angry with me not showing up to the play considering I never returned home last night. We arrive at the theatre and immediately get greated. “Elizabeth, you’re late; what do you have to say for yourself! And what the hell happened to your face?” “My face, what happened to my face?” “Oh it doesn’t even matter at this point. Monty!” “Yes sir?” “Take my daughter to the dressing room and throw her on stage.” I get pulled in the direction of my dressing room with only seconds to practice my lines. Everything feels uneasy but who am I to disappoint. I get on stage in my long glorious gown and two seconds later I start to hear gasps and whispers throughout the crowd. I try to decipher what they’re saying but can’t make anything out until a child yelled “Look at her face.” I instantly begin looking for a mirror to see if I just had a huge zit on my face or if something was seriously wrong with my face. I find a prop mirror and cannot believe what I saw. My face was gone. Nothing but eyeballs and 35
bones in a dress. When I said I wanted to show who I was on the inside on stage I didn’t think It would reveal how dead I was. My wish came true. I was dead inside and now the whole theatre knew.
36
Obsession of AJM You broke me; whenever someone brings it up it manages to break me even more. I wanted the whole world with you and when I look back at it I don’t even understand why. You exposed me, you lied to me, you blackmailed me, you cheated left and right..But worst of all you stole my life. And I let you. You made me weak but talking to you always made me feel stronger. I always feared that my mistake made you into the monster that you are. You took advantage of a girl and I got jealous that you messed with her instead of me and that’s pathetic. How dare I and how dare you. I wondered if I was at fault for your monstrosity and no matter what people tell me I will always think that I am. We were bad, but it always felt good. Even when others didn’t agree with what we did we didn’t care...or at least I didn’t. Every fight and every argument, you blamed me for all the burned down forests. You’d always talk about how you’d go back to “September” and mess with her instead, yet you loved me? I was always yours and I thought you were mine..But I was wrong. I never wanted to think when it came to you because I knew the truth; you never tried to hide it. It just hurt more than anything. Your words cut like knives and your empty promises left me exposed; I was naked to the world that I made for you. Your weight was on my shoulders and it was my fault. I tried to walk but I was trapped by obsession. “Who would ever love you like he?” were the words of my depression that gave punches to my stomach and bruises to my heart. I’m over you and I’m over us but I’m still not over the pain. The pain feels like a chain that’s tied to the anchor that’s keeping me obtained in this sea. They say no one can hear you out in space; well no one can see me cry in the ocean. Everytime I write I find it coming back to you. It’s like I can’t escape it. People think I’m numb because I’m heartbroken, but I’m numb because every single time I try to get out of that ocean it fails, leaving more holes in me that sinks me even further into the deep. I try and I try and I try, but I can’t keep trying forever so I cry, and I cut. Which leaves more holes. So what now? You come back and say you love me again. I still get butterflies everytime you call me baby and scratches every time you use my real name. I will forever be weak to you as long as those butterflies flutter. I need to escape you but you still make me feel good. Better than anyone else. So how do I do it?
37
When the Need of Love Took My Life Someone once said that we worry about tomorrow like it’s promised. We also tend to love forever even when it’s not reciprocated or even worse, shattered. My many heartbreaks made me who I am today, yet sadly I still do not know who I am exactly, just how I got here. February 23rd 2017 I woke up feeling dazed and weary as I saw my mom and my sister Paris pace across the wooden floor outside of my room. I laid listening in on the specks of conversation that I heard, when one particular word stood out to me. “Hospital” I rise from my bed, crust still in my eye as I approach my mom. “Mom what’s wrong” worry in my voice as I spoke. “Don’t worry about it baby; we’re just going to take Paris to the hospital.” I see the distressed look in my mother’s face and the tears in Paris’ dark brown eyes that shadowed like a tree in the forest. Paris was short, thick, chocolate and had a stern levelled head, one that sometimes made it hard for her to hear others suggestions. Most people say we look alike as true sisters should, the only difference was that I wasn’t pregnant. Paris was in her second trimester, belly not that big but her back was in more pain than ever. This being her second child she knew something wasn’t right. “Can I come?” I asked as calmly as possible because I didn’t want to escalate the situation anymore than it had already escalated. My mother said sure and she shook my father till he finally woke and him, my mother, my sister Paris, my sister Asia and my five year old nephew Jayden all hopped in our small tan family car on the way to the hospital to see what was wrong. I was the youngest of my siblings and clearly the most responsible as I was always the one to care for my nephew when others stepped out, so of course I soon looked forward to now taking care of my newborn nephew as well. He was going to be the youngest of the two and I felt us rookies had to look out for each other. Gleaming with anxiety, my family and I finally arrived at the hospital, and from there we went our separate ways. I waited in the hospital waiting room looking at the dated magazines trying to ignore the smell of sick old people that stuck to the walls in every corner. My nephew was walking around all over the room unable to sit still for even two minutes. Asking me what was wrong with his mom when I really had no clue at all. We just waited and waited for hours, my father occasionally checking in on us as he always hated hospital rooms. Just the feeling of being in one made him anxious. My oldest sister Asia finally came to the waiting room telling us that we can finally come into the hospital room where Paris was. Jayden’s face lit up with joy and excitement as he awaited to see his new baby brother, all healthy and wrapped up like a gift on christmas. My dad walked with him just as Asia pulled me to the side away from all of the nosy yet friendly strangers that awaited in the waiting area. “Paris lost the baby.” Asia said to me in a low soft tone like she lost all the hope in her heart. “What do you mean she lost the baby?” “Something went wrong and the baby ended up dying.” Asia responded with a neutral yet saddened expression on her face. I finally understood what she meant after a couple more seconds and headed for the hospital room in which my Paris layed and held her newly born deceased. It was oddly colder in that hospital room than in any other part of the building. The room screamed with silence, no one knowing what to say. My family all just quietly passed the baby around, embracing what we would never get the chance to feel again. I didn’t want to hold the baby at the moment; I just felt that it wasn’t my place to. Even today I still regret that decision. I never knew how much I needed his touch until I lost interest in everything I’ve ever once enjoyed. Andrew Juan Martinez My first love, headache, and obsession. I met Andrew around November of 2016; I was a happy soul that year, my grades were great, my drawings were creative, I was excited for college and my sister Paris was pregnant again. I kept track of her upcoming due date almost daily. Everything was fine with life until Andrew showed up. I hated him at first; I thought he was rude, arrogant, and childish. We never even spoke to each other much until my “best friend” Tempey told me that Andrew had a crush on me. I didn’t know how to feel at the moment; I was just in 38
shock. My self esteem is pretty low so all I pretty much thought was that he was insane to even have an ounce of interest. I decided to confront him about the situation and he confessed that he would date me if the situation ever came up. I told him I wasn’t sure but wanted to talk to him more. It was something about him giving me the attention that I’ve always wanted but never really got. A month or two go by and I got the relationship I’ve always dreamed of having; Andrew made me feel happy and whole. I was never alone when I was talking to him; he knew everything about me and I loved it. Andrew was my knight in shining armor, he was tall, he had light skin with curly hair, a deep voice, he was soft and open towards me, he even helped me through my nephew’s stillbirth. Andrew was amazing; Andrew was an illusion. He cheated on me maybe ten times, two times with his own blood sisters, couple times with his many exes, once with some random guy, he even kissed my “best friend” and had her touch him on “accident”. Andrew also spread nasty rumors about me all over school, got me looked at in a dirty way by basically everyone and in the end blamed me for every single thing that he has ever done to me. Somehow it was always my fault and he made me believe so. Andrew had this way of getting in my head, making me feel like he’s the only one that’ll ever love me and that’s why I kept coming back to him and that abuse. Keanu Reeves once said that falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. Well some would say that I certainly had a relationship. Changing Schools It was nearly the end of the school year of 2018 and my spirits were lower than ever with all the nasty untrue rumors going around school about me and my nephew’s stillbirth. I was the blobfish of the ocean and the runt of the litter. I’ve had trouble opening up to others because every single time I tried people would pass my feelings as insignificant or an over reaction. With the weight of the world dragging on my shoulders, I decided to reach out to my family a different way. I told them that I didn’t want to go to Fort Hayes High School anymore. “Why don’t you want to go anymore? It’s your last year; you should just stick it out.” I listened to my mother’s words in pure frustration. I’ve been sticking through my problems all last year. I stuck on better than any poster on the wall but my tape was coming off and I could finally talk again. “I’m just not happy there Mom.” I looked around the room and see eight eyes all on me. Their eyes were like a needle to a balloon. “Are you getting bullied?” my two sisters ask as if they were ready for war. My sisters had a closer age gap compared to me so they grew up closer than ever, kind of excluding me. It never bothered me much; I was an isolated soul pretty much since birth, but I always knew if I was ever in trouble my sisters would be there for me and have my back. “No I’m not getting bullied; I’m really just not happy there anymore. My grades are slipping and the workload is too much to keep up with.” It wasn’t a complete lie in my opinion. My grades were slipping a lot, ever since I lost interest in pretty much everything I started caring about school a lot less. I didn’t want my family finding out I was being bullied though; I’ve caused enough problems in their lives. I honestly felt like nothing but a waste of space. My mom is light skinned like my oldest sister; they kind of act alike as well. Both were mean with a soft spot for people on some days and they both had a really loud voice, one that everyone heard almost on a daily. My father was dark skinned, had a dad bod, and loved playing Grand Theft Auto. He was quiet and so am I so I suppose I get that from him. He never really put much input into anything, compared to my mother who put her input into everything. I don’t connect to my family as much as they connect to each other but I was okay with it. At least I had my Tempey. “But what about your friends?” my mom asked me with stress written all over her face. I felt like everything I was trying to explain to my family went straight through one ear and out the other. It was the main reason I always stay to myself. “I have their numbers, and we can hang out afters school if I don’t have to work,” or so I thought. My mom looked at my dad waiting on his response; he shrugged his shoulders and she returned her attention to me. “Ok, but what school are you trying to go to? Cause you’re not going to Mifflin or Linden and that’s final.” Mother sighed like she had given up her fight with me which made me gleam with joy. “I can go to that school Asia and Paris graduated from. They only focused on classes that you need right; it should be easy enough for me” and so it was final. I was going to Early College Academy (ECA) next 39
school semester. I was prepared for the new school year more than any high schooler ever I believe; it was mid summer and I was anxiously awaiting my new school schedule almost daily. Time couldn’t come any sooner. It was finally August and I was the first through the doors. I got my schedule and wandered around a little bit, ironically lost in a school that had all of their classes in one hallway. A teacher named Mr. Green spotted my in the hallway and asked me if I was new here. I told him yes and he was kind enough to give me the run through of the building. I didn’t know anyone here except for this boy that I’ve went to the school with every single year but haven’t talked to since middle school. I was pretty much on my own physically, but I kept in touch with my few friends through texting or facetime whenever it was time for lunch. I focused on my schoolwork a lot more this year; I’ve been able to focus and get what I needed done with no procrastination. I was doing well with my education but my social game was still a little off; I never sat with anyone at lunch and never really talked to any of my classmates. I was focused on school and that was it. Over the year my friends stopped talking to me no matter how much I reached out but it wasn’t all bad; I still had my best friend Tempey. She was like my ride or die, even though we went through a rough patch with the Andrew situation. I suppressed the little bit of bitterness I had towards her because I really felt like she was the only person I physically had left. As time went on, however, I noticed that she was not the friend that I thought she was. She took everyone and everything I’ve ever wanted from me and ignored me for weeks until I officially shut myself off from everyone that I “had”. Even my own family compared me to her, and when we stopped talking they even believed that I was the cause. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family; they can just kid around too much for my comfort and when I told them about my depression it didn’t really get any better. My anxiety just encourages them to paint the picture in their minds of soon having my face and name on a long white T-Shirt. I write out everything that I ever feel in a way to cope with life and its many struggles. I started looking at everything in life differently from now on. Someone once said that we worry about tomorrow like it’s promised. I say that we continue to love even when it’s not reciprocated or even worse, shattered. I don’t get the love that my anxiety and depression tells me that I should have, but I continue to love. I love my family and I love my school, I love all of the lessons that the people who’ve left me have taught, and I love myself. At ECA I have the pleasure of knowing a great staff of teachers and a very caring one Mrs. Moos. A person who taught me that it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to open yourself up, and it’s okay to not know who I am. I may not know who I am yet, but I do know that I am a good writer, that I have a big heart, and that I am nobody’s fool. I may not have many friends, I may have depression, and I may sleep probably a little too much. But I have a great school, and a family that’s ready to fight for me if needed. My many heartbreaks made me who I am today, and I know that I will continue to grow through life.
40
Where Dead People Go Do you ever wonder where dead people go when they die? People are always assume their dead relatives go to “heaven”. It’s always rest in peace grandma or rest in heaven grandpa. Who are you to say if someone lived a good life to go live in eternal life? “Heaven” is not a specific place; it is different to every individual person. Some people live horrible lives. There are mass murderers, child molestors, rapists, human traffickers, and drug dealers. People only assume they are going to heaven because they are a loved one or relative. You can’t be biased even to people whom you are closest. It only clouds your mind from reality and logic.There is a certain way the dead are transported to either “heaven” or “hell”. It is a van like vehicle shaped like a giant skull with teeth. It has four tiny wheels, a giant mouth that opens, two eye windows, and a nose. The people sit on the top and are transported through a desert like plain. When one is close to their portal of damnation or paradise you are able to see it in the distance approaching rapidly. Sooner than later you will have arrived to your personal portal and you are the only person to get off. You will not know whether you are going to “paradise” or “eternal punishment” until you set foot into the portal. There is no avoiding your fate. The slightest hair that touches this portal will be sucked in like a black hole, never to escape again. Purgatory is not a place where any soul would like to go. Purgatory is where all the lost and forgotten souls go. If you are judged for purgatory your soul will be kicked out of this skull-like car and left in this “desert” plain. Every lost soul turns to a ghoul within time of being in purgatory. These ghouls sit around rotting waiting for their next victim.
41
CHAPTER 1:SLUMPBABY I am Rodney Jones but everybody knows me as RJ. I bet you are wondering why there is a skull on my face and these ridiculous headphones on my head. Well let me tell you this silly story…...it all started back in 2005. I LOVED music. I used to bump everything from country to rap; it didn’t matter to me as a young little scrub growing up. But as I got older I started listening to rap and that’s when all this bullshit happened. I started rapping my own rhymes and getting into music; everybody was buying my mixtapes. I was doing shows everywhere. I was finally on top; once I got comfortable with my lifestyle I started looking for record deals. Nobody wanted to give yah boy a chance so I kept on grinding, getting better. Then this record label hit me up and told me to come in so I did. I get in and see this BIGG ass sign the read “DEATH ROW RECORDS”. So as I walked in hella nervous tho I told sum white lady with long blonde hair I had an appointment with the CEO of Death Row and she had me wait in the waiting room for almost an hour when she said “Mr. Knight would like to see you now.” I instantly got geeked. I walked in this red office and sat at this big brown table and at the end of the table sat this big fat ass wealthy muh f*cka he just stared at me so I spoke up I told him who I was and he laughed he said, “slumpbaby?...What the f*ck kind of name is that?” I then told him “I grew up on the south side of Columbus and I started boxing, knocking niggas out left to right so my coach told me I slump shit so I called myself slumpbaby.” He laughed again but this time the laughing stopped; he then told me that he wanted me to sign with him. My desperate ass needed a deal so I agreed to it; once I signed the paperwork he looked at me with this weird ass smile and said “Welcome to Death Row.”
42
Life…See life can take you on a crazy ride like one minute everything can go smooth then bam!! You lose love ones or you can go bankrupt. Now let me tell you a story about a boy that always wanted to be rich to help his family. So one day he was walking to school and met a man the man didn’t look like a normal man; he was in the bushes and he said “come here boy.” The boy went close and then the man said “do you want to rich?” He said “ yes I’ll do anything to be rich.” Then the man’s eyes widen up and he said “would you sell your soul to be rich?” The boy nodded yes. Then the boy saw bright lights then everything went black then he woke up with money, his family in a huge house with him. So him and his family enjoying the money spending it on stupid stuff like toothbrushes for dogs. Then his mom got ill from a new disease that is too advanced for the doctors to figure out to cure it then boy said I want my old life back and start to stab himself. The moral is be careful about what you wish for.
43
Two Sides Hello my name is Wollibe Willis and I am a detective and my life is perfect. I have a wife and two wonderful kids, a son and a daughter. We live in a great neighborhood with a good school system; everything is going fine in my life. But I have multi personality disorder. During my spare time I like to read murder stories but the case I've been working on lately is a lot like the one I read called “And Then There Were None”. Work has been stressful lately. I've been hitting dead ends. But one day at the wollbie police department my wife comes in with a bag and says “Willis what is this!!!” “Hi, honey, what is what? Can we go talk about this in private.” “Fine...” In the interrogation room wife says, “ I know about your disorder and I hear you sneak out at night but I didn't know you would ever come back with these” pulls out cheetah print underwear “are you dancing again?” But when she says this something about me starts to feel different and my other personality is triggered and Wilfer takes over and says “I'm sorry honey I will stop.” Then my wife leaves then Wilfer thinks to himself, “I have to stop bringing items of the people I've killed home.” Earlier in the day the chief had came to Willis and said that “the victim's girlfriend says only thing she remembers before being knocked out was her boyfriend's cheetah print underwear”. Then Willis takes control and sees the underwear and instantly hides them. It is about time to leave when one of Willis’s co workers bumps into Willis and knocked him down and his stuff out his hands and says “Watch it weirdo”. But what this man doesn't realize that one side is Willis the peacemaker and the other side is Wilfer the deranged serial killer. So Willis goes home and goes to put his kids to sleep then goes to bed. Then twelve o'clock struck and Wilfer wakes up and goes to find the punk that knocked Willis over earlier. He finds his apartment but what he doesn't know is that the man's neighbor is the chief and he never goes to sleep. When Wilfer breaks the door down the chief hears this and rushes out but when he gets there he doesn't see anything as soon as he turns around he sees Wilfer and tries to draw his gun but it is too late. Wilfer snaps his neck, takes his gun and proceeds to his prior target. When Wilfer approaches his target he is asleep so Wilfer jumps on him and starts to suffocate him while he is choking him. Before he leaves he takes the man's ring and goes home but to his surprise his wife is awake and has another man in the house so Wilfer takes his gun and the chief's gun and goes upstairs he kicks the door in but while doing so he awakes the kids the rush in and Wilfer gets frightened and shoots them both then continues to killing his wife and her lover. He takes the bodies and dumps them when done Willis returns and realizes what has been down and his house is completely empty so he goes and turns himself in. This is a story about two sides and how what happens to you in the day can change your life forever at night; this is the story of two sides… to be continued.
44
Stereotype One language two cultural. Mom's during weekdays dumb but loving dad's during the weekend. Having to adjust to different household rules and how I act on Monday thru Friday and how I act on Saturday and Sunday. Going to my friends house and not wanting to leave because they have two parents who love each other instead of scolding each other. They don't worry how the bills are going to get paid like we do because my parents didn't love each other. I am a statistic and a stereotype because the color of my skin I am automatically considered a bastard who steals he was only raised by a mother who had to work late to pay the bills. My mother and I aren't another statistic because we made it out and now everything I do will be for her and my 11 siblings who I barely know because my dad doesn't care enough about women he's getting pregnant. Walk in a room seeking attention because it's hard to find at home. Mom is struggling, she's filling out job applications for we'll paying jobs to feed me. Since she is doing this now when I get older I'll do it for her. I've been pre judged and misunderstood I've been a stereotype but I'm just JAHLEEL SHOCKLEY son of people who I know love me.
45
The Day I Saved Somebody One day while I was working at Maryland pool, I got to help save a life. I was sitting up in the Lifeguard chair lifeguarding and all of a sudden this boy named Raymer went to take a three step approach to dive into the pool. But when he dove in the pool he jumped up on the third step and he was so close to the board. When he landed, he hit his head on the board. When his head hit the board, it bounced off and he flew up in the air again and landed on his face, and then he fell in the water. I knew right then and there that I had a duty to do so I jumped in to swim to him. I had to use my lifeguard’s tube and put it under his back. After I put the tube under his back, I made sure his shoulders were around the tube so his head wouldn’t be in the water. While I was supporting his head, he starting spitting up blood. Blood came out his ears and mouth.This other lifeguard named Darnell brought me a backboard and he put the backboard under the tube. I removed the tube as soon he put it under the tube and then I put the straps on his chest and legs so he couldn’t move. Then we had to put head pieces beside his head so the accident didn’t turn into death. We had to move him out of the water and get him unstrapped. When we got him out of the water he started freaking out so he got up and ran. He ran to the front of the pool and through water and almost slipped but I had to catch him. I blew my whistle to get my Manager. He came out along with my sister Marquissa. They asked me what happened and I told them that he had landed back onto the board doing a two in a half. My sister went back and told the guards to come on. We had to do first aid while they were getting the gauze and gloves and water and scissors. Raymer passed out in my arms for a good 10 seconds. I started doing compressions on him after my third compressions, he woke up. He got up and starting running for the gate to go to his house across the street but he couldn’t take the bleeding and he dropped to the floor. He said “Kayelonna, I’m scared. Help me!’’ I ran to him and put my gloves on and told Darnell to get me some gauze so I could put it on the gash on his forehead. The gash looked like a hole that kept bleeding and bleeding so I put more gauze on the gash, until it stopped bleeding. Another lifeguard called EMS and they said they were going to be about 10 minutes at the longest. While we were waiting for EMS to come, I kept the gauze on his gash so he wouldn’t bleed any more or lose a lot of blood to the point where he could pass out again. I was holding him in my lap so he felt safe. Raymer’s mother came up to the pool and she asked what was going on. Raymer turned around and he starts screaming “MOM MOM MOM!” and I tried to calm down. I said “Raymer, the ambulance is on the way” and his mom was yelling saying it’s okay buddy. Then a lot of kids started coming around,so it started getting crowded. We had to control the crowd. My partner Darnell had to clear crowd control and Raymer’s brother started crying and fainted. After he fainted we had put ice packs on his forehead to try to wake him up. He was still breathing so he woke up and ran to his brother and mother, So I got him to cool down by letting his mom hold his hand. When the ambulance pulled up they asked my manager what had happen and he told them that he went to go flip on the board, he landed back on the board and he had a hole between his eyes. They brought the bed and they came over to me asking me could I lift him up and put him on the bed and so I did and he started crying even more because he couldn’t see and he didn’t know what he was on. His mom told him you are on the bed and the ambulance had to put a bandage on his head. The EMS took him to the hospital. I had to give all my information to
46
the squad about the accident and when Raymer was running to try to go home. Blood dripped all over the place. I went to the chemical room and got bleach, acid, water and cleaned up the blood spots and then we continued swimming. A few days later, Raymer’s mom contacted me to let me know that Raymer was ok. He had to get stitches, but he will be fine. She thanked me for helping him.
47
48
49
50
51
52