BAD ADVICE Ask the Expat 44SPORT From Chris Wright.

Health BAD ADVICE... Ask the Expat

Not all advice is good and not all people are as genuine as you may think. Enjoy our 'bad advice' column from the expert we have all met, know and love... the Expat.

This month we introduce Mona de la Faye, of the East Algarve Expressive Poetry Circle. Mona, believes that poetry and story giving are not only therapeutic but expressions of a greater consciousness, which surely releases opportunity and traumatic karma? She advises that we should write one poem every day, even if it is 'challenging' and whatever its result. Mona describes herself as a 'contadora', a spiritual keeper of the old tales and a Jungian analyst with a very limited education apart from what she boasts on Facebook. She has expressed a willingness to share some of the notable pieces of her workshop activity when exploring the issue as old as time. That of love in the ExPat community. She says we will be awed and surprised by the results of her participants and she challenges you to write your own love poem. Give it a try, won't you? Yes right now! This minute! In the great words of the iconic songstress Jackie DeShannon who harmonically garbled, "What the world needs now is love, sweet love, It's the only thing that there's just too little of". Isn't it just so? How poignant! Now to proceed with the emotional content generated in her creative workshop on the universal messages of love and open heart, open wallets and even the deepest root chakras. Do you accept beauty and pathos deeper into your life? So pull up by the fire, as it crackles and burns under a sea of stars and listen to these wondrous voices of someone you might know?

A poem by Kinga 'Bear'.

"Is there such a sweet thing as the smell of a fragrant rose? Why, do I impose the smell of this rose, or shall I break your nose? Yes, it has been two weeks since we met. I have sight of the microwave and your pet. How lucky it is me you have met, like spring flowers, sprinkled with dew so wet. And yet, your eyes still glance at the manure in which the garden hoes are set! Oh, I will make you sweat! Oh, I will make you sweat! Betray me and I will bury you in the garden wearing my sun bonnet as I dance and pirouette! Oh, aren't you glad we met? Oh, aren't you glad we met!?

A brief analysis by Mona.

This is a beautiful cry for the desperate need for love. I hope someone will hear her cries and change the passwords on their bank account and the keys to their home.

A poem by Garry the "Mallet"

"Why does my love always go wrong, Is it the sight of me on the beach in my thong? Free and easy, My essence sweats cheesy, When I walk on the beach, my sinuses are wheezy. I wish someone would hug me, Because however old my bones, At least in some quarters, some girls are easy? And though I limp with sunstroke, quite meek, The sands of time, on my calloused feet, I heard some supplements can work a real treat"?

A brief analysis by Mona

This is a beautiful depiction of love when you are ageing. And doesn't Garry do a fine job of painting a charming picture of the masculine libido?

A poem by Juno, "Mother Gaia"

"If I had a time machine of love, I would sail through time and the heavens above! The Angels would drum my coming. There'd be no wars on earth or slumdog slumming! I would smother Putin and Napoleon at my breast, And they'd be mesmerised with love and tell me I am the best! Little Adolf would dance with a spring! Donald Trump would let the light of love in! And though it's true my boundless heart is misunderstood, And I left my children abandoned in the hood, I can only unquestioningly do a certain good! So Mother Gaia, don't you dare question me or call me a liar! So take my story ever higher! I'm awakening to a conscious fire"!

A brief analysis by Mona.

Isn't that such a glorious thought?! Imagine healing the world in a time machine and making everything okay through love, and yes even the evil ones who didn't receive enough! I hope everyone is as aware as Juno of their true abilities in their real life. That insight is indeed boundless.

A poem by Bridgette "Totem Pole"

"They say of much passing love, It is like finding a hole in a second-hand glove. Or a butterfly left flapping, sunk in a wine jug. Or bathing in a bathtub without a plug… And there have been so many, Where I have spent a pretty penny! Oh, how my heart is heavy! And still, I'd take a ride in that beat-up, Chevy"!

A brief analysis by Mona.

Bridgette expresses love is like a vehicle. Even if you have ridden far too many, you could find the right one, so don't give up angel, until you reach the modern stairwell to the architecture of brutalist heaven! Mona writes "I hope you have enjoyed our sharing circle offerings and that these poems have hit you straight in your beating heart. Our next sharing circle takes place on the full moon in Forte De Rato, where a drumming circle and creative writing will be pursued with a fire, marshmallows and slugging moonshine! It can become quite emotional especially if the GNR discover us"! She charges 50 Euros for the life-changing experience, per person and without exception. "See you there and with love, sweet love as always, love Mona de la Faye, do it your way, hey girl, hey"!

RESTAURANTE FRANGANARIO Tavira

TRADITIONAL PORTUGUESE CUISINE

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Welcome to our new space in the centre of Tavira! With a professional and friendly service. Cut, colouring, perming, hair extensions, hairstyling, hair treatments, massages, face/body treatments, make-up artist, epilation, laser, lash extensions, gel nails, nail art, gel polish and much more.

MON - SAT 09.00H - 19.00H All year Travessa Zacarias Guerreiro No16, Tavira Tel +351 281 023 636 Mob +351 964 888 810 or 913 999 906 Email: rbcabeleireiros@gmail.com Rui Barros Cabeleireiros e Estetica

People Wake up with make up

Brow design & Tint

Microblading, Permanent makeup Realistic natural hair strokes, Soft powder brows,. Lash liner, Soft smoky eyeliner.

CACI Hydratone Facial treatments

We are now offering all CACI treatments, you can find information on the website

Book for a free consultation, 18 Rua Guilherme Gomes Fernandes 800-669 Tavira. Tel 910 944 437 www.foryourbrowsonly.com

NURSING CARE Here when you need us

The family-run Amesbury Abbey Group off ers an elegant retirement in country house style at Monte da Palhagueira.

For those who are looking for the reassurance of constant professional care, our nursing care may be the way forward. Alongside all the benefi ts of residential care, our nursing care adds the additional security of 24-hour care provision from qualifi ed nursing professionals. Our team spend a lot of time getting to know each resident as an individual, learning their preferences and understanding their concerns, working hand in hand with GPs and other associated care professionals to provide outstanding personalised nursing care. Our exceptional care team treat all our residents with respect, dignity and friendship, and our nursing home has a warm, family atmosphere. Each individual aspect of our nursing care is designed to give our residents the best possible quality of life and the highest standards of 24-hour care.

For further information, please contact Senior Sister Hazel Gordon at T: +351 289 990 900 E: mdpnursinghome@amesburyabbey.com

Monte da Palhagueira, Gorjôes, 8005-488 Santa Barbara de Nexe, Algarve

www.retirementvillageportugal.co.uk

Moncarapachense players celebrate promotion to Liga 3

MONCARAPACHENSE WIN PROMOTION!

Brought to you by Chris Wright

In their final game of the season Moncarapachense travelled to Lisbon and stunned Os Belenenses, when twenty minutes after the break, a wellexecuted free kick involving Evanilson and Pedro Caeiro resulted in Nuno Silva netting, what proved to be the only goal of the game. The minnows from Moncarapacho who will now play in Liga 3, a level above their more illustrious neighbours SC Olhanense. The league requires teams to play on grass and Moncarapachense vice-President João André, has reached an agreement with SC Olhanense for the club to play their home games at the José Arcanjo Stadium. After a brilliant campaign, coach Ivo Soares informed Moncarapachense that he would be stepping down. 60 yearold Luís Manuel, who takes over, was previously in charge at Oriental Dragon (Moita, Setúbal) and has also had experience of coaching in Sweden. Moncarapachense are now the third highest ranked team in the Algarve behind SC Portimonense (Primeira Liga) and SC Farense (Segunda Liga).

The East Algarve squad who played against the England FA over 50s team

EAST ALGARVE FC TAKE ON ENGLAND

Ahigh quality England FA Over 50s national side, preparing for the upcoming home internationals, were given a stern test by EAFC at the Estádio Ferreiras, Albufeira. The visitors took the lead through Barry Hayles, former Jamaican international and Fulham FC striker, and two further goals shortly before the break sealed the issue. The final score was 5-0 to the visitors, but despite being underdogs the East Algarve players gave their all and acquitted themselves well against strong opposition. East Algarve FC also entertained Sheffield West End, on tour from South Yorkshire. In a lively first-half, the home-side took the lead at the immaculate Tavira’s Eduardo Mansinho Astroturf pitch, before Sheffield West End replied with two quick fire strikes. The visitors dominated the second period against a young but enthusiastic EAFC side with game ending in a comprehensive 8-1 victory for the Yorkshiremen.

Fulham celebrate winning promotion to the Premier League

BENFICA AND FULHAM AT ALGARVE STADIUM

Fulham FC, newly promoted to the English Premier League, will face OGC Nice and Benfica at the Algarve Stadium later this month competing for the prestigious Algarve Trophy. Benfica, who recently transferred Uruguay international Darwin Núñez to Liverpool for a reported €75m, will play French Ligue 1 outfit OGC Nice on the 15th of July with Fulham playing OGC Nice the following night 16th of July. The game most fans will want to see will be the contest between Benfica and Fulham on the 17th of July; a serious test for the Cottagers who open their Premier League campaign, at home, against Liverpool on the 6th of August. Marco Silva, Fulham’s Portuguese manager, then takes his team to Estoril, where he ended his playing career and cut his managerial teeth, for a friendly on the 24th of July. Benfica, under new coach the German Roger Schmidt, will end their pre-season preparations with a game against Newcastle United at the Estádio da Luz (Lisbon) on the 26th of July.

WALKING FOOTBALL

If you want to get fit, keep fit or just kicka-ball-about, then walking football could be for you. Walking football is a slowpaced version of the beautiful game aimed at the “more mature” person (with no upper age limit). With no running – on or off the ball – and minimal contact, this sport appeals to those who want to maintain a good fitness regime whilst enjoying social repartee with like minded souls. Sessions take place on astroturf on weekday mornings in Olhão and Tavira. You are sure of a warm welcome and the two-hour sessions, which can be tailored to individual needs, cost a mere 3 euros with the first session FREE! For days/times and further information: www. walkingfootballalgarve.com

SC OLHANENSE END AGREEMENT

The members of SC Olhanense have voted unanimously to grant the management the necessary powers to terminate the lease agreement, entered into five years ago, between the club and SC Olhanense SAD (limited liability sports club; 80 percent owned by Italian investors and 20 percent by Sporting Club Olhanense).The club stated: "the main objective is to return the José Arcanjo Stadium and its facilities to the sole jurisdiction of the general sports club. It is not a question of "pushing" the SAD out of José Arcanjo, as it will be able to use it with the rules to be established, after the Lease Agreement has been terminated." According to the club, the SAD has not paid the rent it had committed to since April 2018, totaling some €280,000

José Arcanjo Stadium, Olhão where Moncarapachense could be playing next season

THANK YOU

Tim Sant, of Private Client Consultancy, in collaboration with Peter Ibbs, Captain of Golfe Clube de Tavira, has raised over €385 for local charities Gato and Associação Uma Porta Amiga. Supporting disadvantaged children and teenagers through their formative years is a prime aim of Uma Porta Amiga. Tim has been challenging players at Benamor Golf Club to a Par 3 challenge on the Sir Henry Cotton designed course. Christine Wright thanks all those who supported her ‘Sheep for Ewe-Kraine’ initiative. €350 has been sent to ‘Defend Ukraine’ to help the devastated people of the war ravaged country. Christine made the sheep which were soon snapped in exchange for a donation to the appeal. Portugal has welcomed more than 36,000 Ukrainian refugees since the war began.

PORTUGAL AND SPAIN BID FOR WORLD CUP 2030

The Iberian nations are hoping to land the world’s biggest tournament after it is held in Qatar and then USA/ Canada/Mexico. If successful, Spain would host the competition for the first time since 1982, and it would be a first for Portugal. Agreement has been reached on eleven venues in Spain and three in Portugal. Rival bids have not been forthcoming, but there is talk of a joint Argentina and Uruguay submission, while China and South Korea have been tipped to make a bid.