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Not all advice is good and not all people are as genuine as you may think. Enjoy our 'bad advice' column from the expert we have all met, know and love... the Expat.
his month we introduce Mona de la Faye, of the East Algarve Expressive Poetry Circle. Mona, believes that poetry and story giving are not only therapeutic but expressions of a greater consciousness, which surely releases opportunity and traumatic karma? She advises that we should write one poem every day, even if it is 'challenging' and whatever its result. Mona describes herself as a 'contadora', a spiritual keeper of the old tales and a Jungian analyst with a very limited education apart from what she boasts on Facebook. She has expressed a willingness to share some of the notable pieces of her workshop activity when exploring the issue as old as time. That of love in the ExPat community. She says we will be awed and surprised by the results of her participants and she challenges you to write your own love poem. Give it a try, won't you? Yes right now! This minute! In the great words of the iconic songstress Jackie DeShannon who harmonically garbled, "What the world needs now is love, sweet love, It's the only thing that there's just too little of". Isn't it just so? How poignant! Now to proceed with the emotional content generated in her creative workshop on the universal messages of love and open heart, open wallets and even the deepest root chakras. Do you accept beauty and pathos deeper into your life? So pull up by the fire, as it crackles and burns under a sea of stars and listen to these wondrous voices of someone you might know? A poem by Kinga 'Bear'. "Is there such a sweet thing as the smell of a fragrant rose? Why, do I impose the smell of this rose, or shall I break your nose? Yes, it has been two weeks since we met. I have sight of the microwave and your pet. How lucky it is me you have met, like spring flowers, sprinkled with dew so wet. And yet, your eyes still glance at the manure in
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which the garden hoes are set! Oh, I will make you sweat! Oh, I will make you sweat! Betray me and I will bury you in the garden wearing my sun bonnet as I dance and pirouette! Oh, aren't you glad we met? Oh, aren't you glad we met!? A brief analysis by Mona. This is a beautiful cry for the desperate need for love. I hope someone will hear her cries and change the passwords on their bank account and the keys to their home. A poem by Garry the "Mallet" "Why does my love always go wrong, Is it the sight of me on the beach in my thong? Free and easy, My essence sweats cheesy, When I walk on the beach, my sinuses are wheezy. I wish someone would hug me, Because however old my bones, At least in some quarters, some girls are easy? And though I limp with sunstroke, quite meek, The sands of time, on my calloused feet, I heard some supplements can work a real treat"? A brief analysis by Mona This is a beautiful depiction of love when you are ageing. And doesn't Garry do a fine job of painting a charming picture of the masculine libido? A poem by Juno, "Mother Gaia" "If I had a time machine of love, I would sail through time and the heavens above! The Angels would drum my coming. There'd be no wars on earth or slumdog slumming! I would smother Putin and Napoleon at my breast, And they'd be mesmerised with love and tell me I am the best! Little Adolf would dance with a spring! Donald Trump would let the light of love in! And though it's true my boundless heart is
misunderstood, And I left my children abandoned in the hood, I can only unquestioningly do a certain good! So Mother Gaia, don't you dare question me or call me a liar! So take my story ever higher! I'm awakening to a conscious fire"! A brief analysis by Mona. Isn't that such a glorious thought?! Imagine healing the world in a time machine and making everything okay through love, and yes even the evil ones who didn't receive enough! I hope everyone is as aware as Juno of their true abilities in their real life. That insight is indeed boundless. A poem by Bridgette "Totem Pole" "They say of much passing love, It is like finding a hole in a second-hand glove. Or a butterfly left flapping, sunk in a wine jug. Or bathing in a bathtub without a plug… And there have been so many, Where I have spent a pretty penny! Oh, how my heart is heavy! And still, I'd take a ride in that beat-up, Chevy"! A brief analysis by Mona. Bridgette expresses love is like a vehicle. Even if you have ridden far too many, you could find the right one, so don't give up angel, until you reach the modern stairwell to the architecture of brutalist heaven! Mona writes "I hope you have enjoyed our sharing circle offerings and that these poems have hit you straight in your beating heart. Our next sharing circle takes place on the full moon in Forte De Rato, where a drumming circle and creative writing will be pursued with a fire, marshmallows and slugging moonshine! It can become quite emotional especially if the GNR discover us"! She charges 50 Euros for the life-changing experience, per person and without exception. "See you there and with love, sweet love as always, love Mona de la Faye, do it your way, hey girl, hey"!
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