Finance
HAVE YOU HAD “THE TALK”? While it’s not necessary easy or pleasant, helping family members or other people in your life prepare for retirement by having “the talk” might well be the most valuable thing you can possibly do.
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o, not the birds and bees talk with your preteen ... the one with your parents or other aging family members to discuss their finances, health, and longer-term wishes and desires. I’m lucky because my parents and I have always been pretty open about money matters. But for many people, it can be hard to get parents to open up about such topics. Still, it may be one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have. (And if you have siblings, they should be in on it, too.) To better explain why, I’ll give you a hypothetical case study below... Sally, Tim, and Howard were siblings who lived in different parts of the country. Their parents, Mary and Jeff, were in their mid-50s and looking forward to an early retirement. Mary was a school teacher for 25 years and Jeff was an engineer with a local government agency. Between pensions and overall thriftiness, a comfortable and secure retirement seemed a sure thing. Fast-forward 10 years Jeff is playing a round of golf with his buddies. He’s walking up to a green, clinches his chest, and collapses. He’s had a stroke. After a week in the hospital, Jeff is discharged but requires in-home nursing care. His wife Mary was at a loss. Jeff had handled the family’s finances. She hadn’t even written a check in years. Toss in dealing with Jeff’s nurses and home care aides eight hours a day, and it was
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overwhelming. Bad enough, right? Then the other shoe dropped. A neighbor found Mary unconscious in the kitchen. After getting her to the hospital, she called Sally to give her the bad news. Sally called her brothers. With Jeff needing full-time custodial care and Mary in the hospital, someone had to travel to their parents’ house to figure out what was going on. Neither brother would lend a hand. Both said jobs and other responsibilities prevented them from helping. And since Sally only worked part time for a little extra spending money, they said she should be the one to drop everything. First, she visited her mom in the hospital. The doctor said her mom had suffered a severe concussion, was still unconscious, and might need around-the- clock care. Then he asked if Mary had a living will and a healthcare power of attorney. “I don’t know,” Sally said. Next, Sally went to see her father. A nurse and the neighbor were there. The nurse told her that Jeff was slowly getting dementia and recommended that he be moved to a long-term care facility. Meanwhile, she’d make arrangements for an aide to spend the night. Sally called her brothers to discuss the situation. “Whatever you think is best,” they both replied. Now she had to make some tough decisions. The nurse helped her find a decent long-term care facility for Jeff. But before he could be admitted, the business office wanted to know how they were going to pay for it. And did she have the authority to make financial and healthcare decisions for her father? They told her that
January 2021
