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ffering thanks to God teaches us one of the most valuable lessons of life — to appreciate the here and now. We learn to stop wishing for what-might-have been and yearning for what-is-not, and enjoy what is, now. So we offer thanks, we focus on the present moment and experience the full wonder of the precious present moment. A friend of mine, who worked in a company at Pune, was transferred to Mumbai. He was so upset, that whenever I met him, he had nothing but complaints about the city. “I hate the noise and the pollution,” he groaned. “This is just a concrete jungle,” he would say. “The traffic is terrible!” and “I can’t stand the mad rush of this city!” I lost touch with him for a few years, until he came to see me in Pune. I asked him how he was doing in Mumbai, and was surprised to learn that he was back in Pune now. “That must make you happy!” I remarked. “Do you know I miss Mumbai!” he said. “Whatever anyone says, it is a vibrant city — a city full of life! It spoils you; it changes you! If you have been happy in Mumbai, you just can’t be happy anywhere else! I find Pune dull and boring after Mumbai.”
Thanksgiving * IS HERE AND NOW DADA J. P. VASWANI
* February 18-24 is observed as the Thanksgiving Week.
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How easy it is for us to overlook those gifts we have when we focus on those that we lack! We only diminish the value of what we are and where we are; if we do not pause to be thankful for the present. Here are a few suggestions to help you appreciate the here and the now: 1. Imagine what your condition would be, if you lost all that you have now. 2. Each day, make a list of all the things — big and small — for which you are grateful. Stay conscious of them throughout the day. 3. Help those who are less fortunate than you are and feel grateful to God for having given you an opportunity of being a blessing to some in need. This will surely give you a new perspective to life. I often urge my friends to count their blessings. However, many of them tell me there are very few to count! Many of us try to count our blessings on our fingers — and find that they are not too many. However, the wise ones are aware that the blessings we have received from Him are infinite. Every moment of the day, every aspect of your mind, intellect, body — all these are God’s gift to you. “Which is more important ”, asked Big Panda , “the journey or the destination?”
“The company.” said Tiny Dragon .
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THE DANCE OF DESIRES SADHU VASWANI
If you would be happy, rise above maya! The dance of desires is the dance of death. Many came to see the Sphinx — Her whose Figure halfhuman, half-animal, has stood for centuries — a challenge to struggling humanity. Many looked and wondered why she always smiles! One prayed to her that he — a lover — might marry a most beautiful woman. His prayer was granted. He married a woman very beautiful but very stupid! Fair was she in form, but her mind was rigid and her heart narrow; and the lover languished, and the light of love went out of him. He realised, then, why the Sphinx smiled. Beauty of the body is — maya! Yet another prayed to the Sphinx that he might get much money. The Sphinx granted his
prayer and smiled! The man became wealthy, but the lust of gold made him narrow! What he gained in gold he lost in love. His heart, buried beneath the burden of silver and gold, became unhappy. Then he realised why the Sphinx smiled! Money is — maya! A third man. He, too, went to the Sphinx. He prayed that he might become “great!” And the Sphinx granted his prayer and smiled. And he became a distinguished man; but in his game for “greatness”, he had little time to think of his wife: her love for him declined, and too late he realised that “greatness” was not happiness. Then, he understood why the Sphinx smiled! Greatness is — maya! If you would be happy, rise above maya! The dance of desires is the dance of death.
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HEART-BEATS SADHU VASWANI Be like glass — a reflector. Be not like the wall that obstructs. *** Water-drops spilt on the ground may not be gathered up again. So is every karma — thought, word, or deed. Once sent out, it cannot be recalled. *** If to create a little flower, nature is at concentrated work, what centuries, what ages has not the Spirit of Evolution laboured to bring forth a Buddha, a Jesus, a Krishna — Flowers of Eternity! *** Behold the pyramids! Who remembers the names of the builders? Name and form, nama and rupa are maya. Your karma will live on; you will be forgotten! *** Things, events, are puppets. The cords are pulled by the Compassionate One. He is the Sutradhari1! *** Ganga is hid in the hair of Siva, the Great Tapasvin. Out of tapasya3 flows the river of life. 2
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Coiled up like a serpent is the shakti4 within you. Awaken it and draw it up and you will experience Ananda5. *** Creeds are closed houses. Get out of them if you would breathe the pure, fresh air of living faith. *** The deaf cannot hear loud voices; the deaf can hear soft whispers. Away from noisy crowds! Go into the Silence! And listen to soft whispers of the Spirit! *** I have heard a song among the trees. I have heard it floating over waves and winds and waters of streams and lakes. I have heard it in notes of the song-birds. I have heard it in the lap of sickness and sorrow and suffering. I have heard it in the mystic flow of life. And the Singer singeth His songs day and night.
The Thread-Holder, 2The river Ganges, 3Seif-restraint, 4Energy, 5Love-joy
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A MEDITATION ON PEACE DADA J. P. VASWANI
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eace and happiness go hand in hand. What we imagine to be ‘happiness’ is often nothing but a momentary, transitory feeling of pleasure. True joy is closely allied to peace. I give you a description of joy and peace from Sharon Salzberg, one of America’s leading teachers of meditation: Alas, for many of us, such moments of peace are too fleeting; if we wish to experience this peace, calm and stillness within us, irrespective of what is happening in our lives, we need to cultivate an inner core, an inner centre of peace — deep within us, a centre of peace to which we can retreat whenever
we wish, that nothing can disturb and nothing can dispel. Can I offer you a simple exercise — a meditation on peace? This exercise is so simple and so easy, that you can practise it daily, in sessions of five to ten minutes. Step 1: Sit in a relaxed posture. As far as possible, the back, the neck and the head should be in a straight line. In the beginning, you may find it difficult to bring them all in a straight line, but do it as far as possible. Above all, be relaxed. Relax your body, relax your muscles, relax your limbs. Make sure you are seated comfortably and focused inward. Step 2: Now visualise a tranquil scene before your mind’s
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eye. It may be the silver waters of the sea on a calm, moonlit night; it may be a majestic mountain peak capped with virgin snow; it may be the dark green, cool and shady interiors of the woods in springtime; it may be the misty, verdant slopes of a hillside — imagine any scene that has been long held in your mind as a precious memory, or recalled from a picture you may have seen, which fills you with a sense of peace and joy. Close your eyes and picture yourself there, in your favourite location. Feel the peace and tranquillity all around you. Let it enter your heart and soul and permeate every pore of your being. Step 3: Now take deep rhythmic breaths. Be conscious of every breath you take. As you breathe in, tell yourself that you are inhaling the peace of God, the peace that passeth, surpasseth understanding. As you breathe out, you are exhaling calmness all around. There is peace within you, there is calm all around you. Reflect on this beautiful passage from the Vedas: May there be peace in the higher regions; may there be peace in the firmament; may the waters flow peacefully; may all the divine powers bring unto us peace. The Supreme Lord is Peace. May we all dwell in peace, peace, peace; and
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may that peace come into each of us. You are now in an environment of serenity and peace. You may, if you like, imagine yourself seated on a rock in the midst of an ocean. Waves arise. They dash against the rock. The rock stands still and sturdy, unaffected, calm, tranquil, peaceful, and serene. Waves arise. Waves are the distracting thoughts. They dash against the rock. The rock of your mind is unaffected, calm, tranquil, peaceful, and serene. You now begin to realise your oneness with all that is, all men, all creatures, all things, all conditions. You are not apart from others. The others and you are parts of the one great whole. You are in every man, in every woman, in every child. You are in every unit of life, in every bird and animal, in every fowl and fish, in every insect, in every shrub, in every plant. You belong to all countries and communities, all races and religions. You are at one with the universe. As you become aware of this oneness of all creation, you find your heart filled with loving kindness and a spirit of kinship and compassion with all things, all beings in this vast and wonderful world.
Contd. on page 18
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SCIENCE OF SELF-DEDICATION SADHU VASWANI The Atman as the background of Nature, as the very substance and life of Nature! This realised the Rishis in hours of deep communion with Silence. The Atman is silence. And they who know the Atman are silent about deeper mysteries. They who talk much, know little. They who know, talk little. The great mysteries are unspeakable. You never see them until you go beyond the speechcentre. Beyond the chakra of “expression” is the Self. And how beautiful the lives of the Rishis! Beautiful because simple and free! Kant and Hegel, I regard as two of the great Rishis of modern Europe. I bow to them in deep humility. Seers they were and, in a measure, simple too. Were they free? They depended on an absolute Government. And their vision suffered. They glorified the State! Among the sages and seers of Europe, the one who comes the nearest, perhaps, to the Rishis of India is Spinoza. He would not
accept a life-pension from a prince nor a chair of philosophy from a ruler on conditions which meant surrender of his freedom of thought and opinion. To the free is the Atman revealed. Not to those that are in bondage — in the maya of money or earthly honors. Indeed, satvic thinking is not possible until one is ready to live a life at once simple and free. Satvic thinking demands (1) disinterestedness, (2) periods of silence, and (3) communion with the Beautiful in Nature and humanity. Therefore, satvic thinking does not tire; it rather refreshes and beautifies, enriches and strengthens the mind. What tires is the fever of interested overactivity. In so much of our thinking is brain-fatigue, nerve fatigue; for our thinking is not “pure” but selfish, separatist, combative, aggressive. Pure thinking is self-dedication. Sciences of Nature are sciences of observation and experimentation. Both these have value for the Science of the Soul. But something more is needed, self-dedication.
Thou hast not a soul! Thou art a soul! Stand up in thy true dignity! Stand up and declare thy Divinity!
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Out of self-dedication grows discrimination, and you are able, more and more, to distinguish between the Real and maya. You are led on to see the Real, the Atman within you. It is your Inner Self, the Antaryamin! Once you glimpse the beauty of the Self within you, you are on the Path which, if you would but tread with patience, courage and humility, will link you in the service of Love with the Great Helpers of Humanity. The light of Love will fill your heart. Love for All! All races, all
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nations, all men, all creatures, all forms of the Cosmic Life! And filled with such love, your heart will be a hymn of thanksgiving to the All-Love. Your life will be a singing star. Thou hast not a soul! Thou art a soul! Stand up in thy true dignity, brother! Stand up and declare thy Divinity! Say I am a soul! I shall not be a human machine. I shall not let myself be dominated by customs and creeds. I am a son of the Immortal and claim Freedom as my heritage!
A MEDITATION ON PEACE Contd. from page 14 Step 4: And now we come to the crucial, final stage of this meditation. In this stage, you breathe out peace and happiness, goodwill and bliss to all. May all be happy and full of peace and bliss. Think of all who dwell in the Northern lands and pray in the heart within: “May all who dwell in the Northern lands be happy and full of peace and bliss.” Then think of all who dwell in the Southern lands and offer the prayer, “May all who dwell in the Southern lands be happy and full of peace and bliss.” Likewise, “May all who dwell in Eastern lands and all who dwell in Western lands, may they all be happy and full of peace and bliss.” Breathe out peace and goodwill to all. May all be happy and full of peace and bliss. All living things whether they be near or far, big or tiny, rich or poor,
educated or illiterate, whether they be born or are still in the womb unborn, may all, all, all be happy and full of peace and bliss. May those that love you and those that for some reason or the other are unable to love you, may those that speak well of you, and those that for some reason or the other are unable to speak well of you, may all, all, all, without exception, be happy and full of peace and bliss. You are in them all. It is only when they become happy that you are happy. May all be free from disease, ignorance, and sorrow. The Final Step: Open your eyes gently and feel peace infusing your body, mind, heart and soul. As you get up from this meditation, you will find that you are happy and full of peace and bliss!
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C L A I M NOTHING! S E E K NOTHING! P L A N NOTHING! DADA J. P. VASWANI
The world, today, wanders from unrest to unrest: and men and women, alike in East and West, await a new outpouring of the Spirit, a new illumination, a new revelation of the Heart. It will, Sadhu Vaswani said, flow not through the so-called great ones, but through the little ones, the children of God. One mark of the child-like soul is that he hath no care for the morrow. He is singularly free from all fear of the future. Who will feed me tomorrow? Who will supply my daily needs? Such thoughts do not beset his mind. For him it is enough that the Mother is! She will provide. It is her sole responsibility to take care of us and look after all our needs. The little child playing in
yon compound has not the least anxiety about his mid-day meal. His mother is there to provide at the right time. Of Guru Amardas, it is said that each evening, he gave away all he had, keeping not a grain of corn for the morrow, not a copper coin in his purse. Before night fell, he emptied his store of provisions — he even drained the pitchers dry! “The morrow will take care of itself!” he said to his disciples who wondered at his strange behaviour. And the morrow did take care of itself. The Guru was not an ascetic: he was a family man with wife and children. And each day he had a langar (common kitchen) at which many a pilgrim and passers-by ate their fill.
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Unshakable was the Guru’s faith in Providence: and Providence never failed him. Speaking to us, one day, Sadhu Vaswani referred to a touching incident in the life of Jesus. Pointing to a procession of ants, Jesus said to his disciples: “Ye of little faith! look at the ants: who gives them their daily food?” And one of the disciples said: “Master! they need so little!” “Then look at the birds!” said Jesus. “They toil not, nor do they save for the morrow. Yet they get their daily food and are happy!” And the disciple said: “Master! birds have wings with which they fly and pluck fruits from trees!” “And what about the wild beasts?” Jesus asked. “How fat they are! They have no wings. Yet, they, too, get their daily food!” The child of God does not take life ‘seriously.’ He understands that all that happens is but a play of the playmate — accepting all that comes to him cheerfully, meeting all situations merrily. He does not prepare in advance. He does not make any plans. He but lives as a child of the Mother, and he knows that in the measure in which he becomes a willing tool in the hands of the Mother, the
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Great Plan will be revealed to him. So he claims nothing; he seeks nothing; he plans nothing. He becomes a Channel for the Divine Plan to flow through. To such an one death loses its terror, and defeat and despair taste sweet. In pleasure and pain, in loss and gain, he gives gratitude to God. The child of the Mother rejoices in the darkest hours of life, and becomes a bearer of the Torch to many. He seeks no honour for himself but readily gives it to others. He flatters no one: he fears no one. He feels happy in occupying the lowest place, in doing the meanest task. He feels no responsibility: he seeks no reward. But in the depths of darkness, when not a star doth shine, he lifts up his tear-touched eyes and beholds the sweet smile on the Mother’s Face and hears Her still, small voice says: “Well done, my child! I, thy Mother, am not afar, I am with thee, within thee!” The expectations of others were the bars
I used for my own cage.
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Children’s Corner VANISHING LETTERS! My first letter appears in crease, but not in score. My second letter appears in ranger, but not in garage. My third letter appears in tiger, but not in greet. My fourth letter appears in remote, but not in terror. My fifth letter appears in trail, but not in liter. My sixth letter appears in garlic, but not in racing. My seventh letter appears in paste, but not in taper. __ __ __ __ __ __ __ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
INVOCATION Sadhu Vaswani
In all Religions, the Light is Thine! In all Scriptures, the Inspiration is Thine! In all the Saints, the Picture is Thine! In all the Races, the Song Flute is Thine! In all the Countries, the Rose-dust is Thine! Master! Sing the Song of Union anew And re-kindle the Light of Love!
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PUMPKIN MAZE Help Bo find his way home to Lady.
MATCHING TIME Match the two columns: 1. Carton
a. Opposite of light
2. Dark
b. Funny drawing
3. Shark
c. Box
4. Cardinal
d. Sea animal
5. Harbor
e. Red bird
6. Cartoon
f. Three feet
7. Garden
g. Place for ships
8. Yard
h. Place for animals
9. Barn
i. Place for growing plants
Answers: Vanishing Letters! : Animals Matching Time: 1-c, 2-a, 3-d, 4-e, 5-g, 6-b, 7-i, 8-f, 9-h
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RECIPES FOR THE MONTH FRESH STRAWBERRY CHEESE CAKE
Ingredients Thick curd.......................................................5 cups — hang for ½ hour in a thin muslin cloth Fresh cream................................ 250 gm (1½ cups) Cheese spread.................................................2 tbsp Powdered sugar.......................... 3/4 cup or to taste Strawberries................................................ 200 gm – pureed in a mixer (1½ cups), see note China grass.............................. 1½ packets (15 gm) BASE A sponge cake Strawberry crush or jam............................. 4-5 tbsp – beat well to make it smooth Cold milk.................................................... 2-3 tbsp GARNISH Fresh strawberries - thinly sliced........................4-5 Powdered sugar..............................................1 tbsp Method 1. Break china grass into small pieces and put in a pan. Pour 2 cups water on it and leave for 5 minutes to soften. Keep aside. 2. Beat cream with sugar till slightly fluffy but still thin. 3. Beat hung curd until smooth. Add cheese spread and whip until smooth. 4. Mix the whipped cream and curd mixture. 5. Stir softened china grass on low heat, for 5-6 minutes till it melts completely. 6. Warm the puree on low heat. Add the hot china grass solution into the warmed strawberry puree, stirring well with the other hand. 7. Add the strawberry mixture to the curd-
cream mixture and beat well to mix properly. Add colour if required and mix well to get a nice pink colour. Check sugar, add more powdered sugar if required, depending on the sourness of the curd and fruit. 8. Keep aside for 10-20 minutes, or till slightly thick, but do not let it set. 9. Meanwhile, cut a ½” thick slice from the bottom of the sponge cake. Place the cake at the bottom of a loose bottomed flan tin or a flat glass dish,such as to cover the base. Press well. 10. Sprinkle some cold milk on the cake. Spread 3-4 tbsp crush or jam on it and keep in the fridge to chill. 11. When the curd-cream mixture becomes slightly thick, beat it till smooth and pour over the cake in the flan tin. Keep in the fridge for at least 4-6 hours or till set. 12. To decorate, cut 4-5 fresh strawberries into thin slices and sprinkle 1 tbsp powdered sugar. Mix gently and cover the top completely with strawberry slices. Note: 1. If fresh strawberries are not available, you can use ½ cup strawberry crush mixed with ½ cup hot boiling water instead. Since the crush has sugar in it, reduce the sugar to 8 tbsp instead of 3/4 cup. Warm the crush mixture before adding china grass. 2. If you do not want to use a sponge cake, make a biscuit crust.
CHENNA KULFI Ingredients Milk – at room temperature...............1 kg (5 cups) Sugar..............................................................½ cup Paneer - finely grated (3/4 cup).................... 75 gm Cornflour........................................................2 tbsp Seeds of 3-4 chhoti elaichi (green cardamoms) — crushed Kishmish (raisins)...........................................1 tbsp – shredded badam (almonds) Method 1. Dissolve cornflour in ¼ cup milk.
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2. Heat the rest of the milk with sugar. Boil and keep on fire for about 20 minutes, till reduced to half the quantity. Add crushed elaichi seeds. 3. Add the cornflour paste to the boiling milk, stirring continuously. 4. Continue boiling, by lowering the flame, for about 2-3 minutes. Cool. 5. Add paneer, kishmish and almonds. Check sugar. Remove from fire. 6. Fill in clean kulfi moulds and leave to set in the freezer for 6-8 hours.
COOKIES & CREAM Ingredients Family brick vanilla ice cream............................... 1 Chocolate chip cookies (Britannia)............12 pieces Method 1. Roughly break the cookies into small pieces. Keep in the freezer for ½ hour to harden. 2. Beat the vanilla ice cream till soft with an electric hand beater. 3. Spread half of the ice cream in an ice cream box. 4. Sprinkle half of the cookie pieces on the ice cream. 5. Repeat ice cream and biscuit layer again. Freeze till firm. Unmould and serve after 5-6 hours. 6. Serve the ice cream topped with a cookie half.
PURPLE VELVET MOUSSE
Ingredients Milkmaid (condensed milk).............................½ tin China grass (10 gm)...................................1 packet Black grapes............................... 2½ cups (250 gm) Sugar..............................................................3 tbsp Curd................................................................4 cups — hang in a muslin cloth for 30 minutes Vanilla essence......................................a few drops Cochineal (strawberry red) colour.........a few drops
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GLAZE (OPTIONAL) Black grapes...................................................½ cup Sugar..............................................................2 tbsp Corn flour dissolved in ¼ cup water...............1 tbsp Butter.............................................................. ¼ tsp Method 1. Hang curd in a muslin cloth for ½ hour. Squeeze gently to extract excess whey. 2. Cut ½ cup remaining grapes into 2 pieces. Deseed if it has seeds. 3. Cook 2 cups grapes with 1 cup water and 3 tbsp sugar. Boil. Simmer on low heat for 10 minutes till they turn soft. Remove from fire. Cool. Blend in a mixer to a puree. Strain the juice if there are seeds. Discard the residue. Heat the grape puree and cover and keep aside. 4. Break china grass into small pieces. Pour 1¼ cups of water over china grass in a pan. Keep aside to swell for 5 minutes. Keep on low heat till it dissolves completely. Remove from fire and add hot solution into hot grape puree. Keep aside. 5. Beat the condensed milk in a pan till creamy. 6. Add the china grass-grape puree to the condensed milk, and beat well till smooth. 7. Beat the curd with vanilla essence till smooth. 8. Add the curd to the grape and condensed milk mixture. Beat well. Add chopped grapes. 9. Transfer to a serving dish or individual mousse cups. Keep in the fridge for 3-4 hours or till set. 10. For the glaze, cook ½ cup grapes with 1 cup water and 2 tbs, sugar in a clean pan. Boil. Mash and cook till pulpy for about 3-5 minutes. 11. Remove from fire and strain. Measure in a cup. Add more water if required to make it to a full cup of grape juice. 12. Add 1 tbsp cornflour dissolved in ¼ cup water to grape juice. Cook grape juice, stirring, on low heat till slightly thick. Add butter. Remove from fire. Add a drop of strawberry red colour if you wish. 13. When glaze no longer remains hot, pour over the set dessert. Arrange a grape on top. Refrigerate till the time of serving.
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SIMPLE RULES OF HEALTH 9 INCREDIBLE BENEFITS OF BASIL LEAVES YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN According to the book, ’Healing Foods’ by DK Publishing, basil can facilitate optimal digestion. “Basil fortifies the digestive and nervous system and can be a good remedy for headaches and insomnia,” notes the book. The eugenol present in the leaves ensures anti-inflammatory action in the digestive tract. Basil helps balance acid within the body and restores the body’s proper pH level. Eugenol present in basil leaves ensures antiinflammatory action in the digestive tract Anti-inflammatory: Basil and its strong anti-inflammatory properties can prove to be a cure to a variety of diseases and disorders. The powerful essential oils, including eugenol, citronellol and linalool, help lower inflammation through their enzyme inhibiting properties. The anti-inflammatory properties of basil may help lower risk of heart disease, rheumatoid
arthritis and inflammatory bowel conditions. Consumption of basil could also soothe fever, headache, sore throat, cold, cough and flu. Basil leaves has properties that can keep mild flu and cold at bay. Fights free radical activity: According to the book ‘Healing Foods,’ the culinary herb contains a range of natural antioxidants, which can help protect body tissues against free radical damage. Free radicals are unstable atoms. To become stable, they take electrons from other atoms and form chains. These chains of free radicals cause oxidative
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stress to the body and cause more damage to the cells. To reduce the oxidative stress in the body, one must up the intake of antioxidants. Basil contains two important water-soluble flavonoid antioxidants, known as orientin and viceninare. These potent antioxidants strengthen immune system, protect cellular structure, DNA and delay effects of skin ageing. Skin Benefits: Basil’s powerful oil helps cleanse the skin from within. The excellent skin cleanser is perfect for those with oily skin. It also helps remove dirt and impurities that clog pores. Make a paste of basil leaves, sandalwood paste and rose water. Apply the paste on your face and let it sit for 20 minutes. Wash it off with cold water. The strong antiinflammatory and antimicrobial properties of basil would help prevent formation of acne. Fights Depression: Basil’s essential oil may help manage depression and anxiety too. The herb is believed to stimulate neurotransmitters that regulate the hormones responsible for inducing happiness and energy. Basil is considered as a powerful adaptogen or an anti-stress agent. Its anti-inflammatory and immune-boosting properties help manage stress too.
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Diabetes Management: Consumption of basil could result in slow release of sugar in the blood, which is very essential for diabetics. The herb has very low glycemic load. The essential oil present in basil also helps cut down triglyceride and cholesterol levels, which is a persistent risk factor amongst diabetics. Supports Liver Function and Helps Detoxify the Body: Basil’s strong detox properties may do wonders for your liver health. Liver is a very essential organ for the body as it plays a crucial role in metabolism. Basil may help prevent fat build-up in the liver and keep your liver healthy. Promote healthy gut: Basil also helps restore the body’s natural pH levels and feeds healthy bacteria within the gut microflora. A healthy gut flora increases immunity and promotes healthy digestion. Heals an Upset Tummy: The essential volatile oil of basil has been seen as a traditional remedy to treat a variety of tummy problems in addition to indigestion. Consuming basil could help reduce bloating and water retention. It can even stimulate loss of appetite and could cure acid reflux as well.
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Laugh Your Way To Health Joey walked into his dad’s study while his dad was working on the computer. “Dad,” said Joey, “Remember when you told me you’d give me twenty dollars if I passed my maths test?” Dad nodded. “Well,” said Joey, “the good news is that I just saved your twenty bucks!” *** A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Because I have lost my wife here in the supermarket and everytime I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere!” *** There was an elderly gentleman who had a serious hearing problem for a number of years. So, he went to the doctor who gave him a fancy hearing aid. A month later, the elderly gentleman went back to the doctor. Doctor: “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversation. I’ve changed my will three times!” *** Dentist to patient: “Would you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?” Patient: “Why, doctor? It wasn’t all that bad.” Dentist: “There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss my five o’clock off time!!” *** If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge. *** My mother-in-law started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is. *** Salesman at the door: When you’re lonely, feeling low, when you have tears in your eyes. I’ll come to you. I’m on your side; because I want to be there for you.
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I am selling tissues. Buy one: get one free! *** A young lady, desperately in need of a love match, arranges an appointment with a professional matchmaker: “I’m looking for a spouse. Can you please help me find a suitable one?” Matchmaker: “Your requirements, please.” Young lady: “Well, let me see, he needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing; willing to keep me company the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don’t go out; able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.” The matchmaker listened thoughtfully and replied, “I understand. You need a television!” *** A woman’s husband had been dangerously ill but finally the doctor announced that the man would live. “What do you mean?” demanded the wife. “You told me he couldn’t last another two weeks.” “Well, I’m going to cure him after all,” replied the doctor. “Surely, you’re glad, aren’t you?” The woman wrinkled her brow in thought. “It puts me in kind of a hole,” she said finally. “I’ve gone and sold his clothes to pay for the funeral.” ***
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The Devil once had an auction sale of his many weapons, his various means of getting people in his power. There were packages marked “greed,” “dishonesty,” “crime,” “meanness,” and many others. Many seekers after power attended the sale. When it was over one buyer spied a lone package left and asked if it were for sale. “Oh, no,” the Devil replied, “that is my most powerful weapon. You can take all but not that one.’’ The would-be buyer was curious. “What is in thepackage?” The Devil grinned sardonically. “That package, my friend, contains ‘discouragement’!” *** There is a story of a lady who never spoke ill of anybody. “Auntie,” someone said, “I believe you would say something good even about the Devil.” “Well,” she said, “you certainly do have to admire his persistence.” *** In a school examination paper appeared the question, “Give an account of the creation of man.” One little girl answered: ‘First God created Adam. He looked at him and said, ‘I think if I tried again I could do better.’ Then He created Eve.” ***