Eat The Bologna Issue 4

Skateboard Magazine Issue #4 Vol. 1 Summer 2017

Anderson Schmidt Pole Jam

EatTheBologna

By Scott Morton

Issue 4 Vol. 1 Summer 2017

Content • The Brothers Lerma

Silent but deadly

Desert scum

Taking it too seriously

• Dead Last

• Keep Skateboarding Weird

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Matt Erlandson Switch Ollie

Chris Mohney Pole Jam

Don’t Keep Skateboarding we rd

i

Skateboarding is weird. I don’t mean that in a “Keep skateboarding weird” bumper sticker type of way. I mean skateboarders as a group do so much unexplainable shit that I shake my head. What is cool one day is blown out and overdone the next day. It is so unoriginal to be original that the only original thing to do is be unoriginal. The trend is not the trend. Act incredibly disrespectful and then complain about not getting respect. There are amazing skateboarders that I don’t enjoy their skateboarding because of how they act outside of it. I can’t enjoy my (formerly) favorite skater’s footage anymore because he changed shoe sponsors.

It is a terrible feeling when the way the skateboarders are acting at the skatepark makes you not want to skate. We all know we are cooler than everyone else, but we don’t have to act like it. Be friendly to people at the park, pick up your trash, don’t drink/smoke in the schoolyard, learn to nose manual.

Don’t keep skateboarding weird, Make skateboarding less lame.

Rod James Nosegrind

Rod James No Comply

I’ve watched Rod get tricks two ways. I have watched him struggle for hours just to end up unhappy with the make. I have also seen him find something cool and pull it off in just a few tries. Both of these photos were of the latter.

The

s r e h t Bro

a m r Le Mondo (left) and Augie (above) Ollie over to Lipslide Same trick, same ledge, same name

I got to meet Augie and Mondo through filming with Holtzcam. Both brothers are just around 18 and not afraid to jump on some rails. If you skate Alga a lot you probably know them. They come from Palm Springs and their father is backing both to the fullest. Without being a skate coach dad he seems to try so support their skating however he can. Shout out to skate dads that know what’s up. Aside from that I don’t know much else about them! they are super quiet and I’m sure being around a couple of old weird filmers doesn’t help. Even with the ripping I saw them do, I could always tell they weren’t satisfied and felt they were just filming warm ups. I was hoping to get a little interview with either of them in here but time is a horrible thing.

‘Mondo Kickflip

Augie Front Board

Augie

Augie is the older brother and he carries himself as such. Cold killer waiting in the back type. He also skates like it. When eyeing up spots he would pick a trick and get right to work, land it quick, sit down and cheer on his brother. Jumping on rails is business as usual. Honestly, he probably hates skating with me like I am some kind of curse.

I watched him sack a kinked rail first spot of the day, a few tries in.

He didn’t even make us take him home! I would’ve been done skating for the day, probably forever. A few weeks later I was there for an ACL injury, now he is skating in the brace and seems to be recovering fine because the clips look great. Injuries are lame a but a good attitude can make it seem like they never happened.

Mondo

‘Mondo Feeble

Armando climbs/jumps/front boards on anything like an actual monkey. It doesn’t matter how dangerous or pointless the front board is, he will do it.

We were looking at a spot and next door to it he just sets his board on an out ledge and starts nudging a front board, inch by inch on this 5 stair high ledge, it was silly! If he is sitting on the bench while his brother is the one getting the clips, he is more likely climbing on something.

On the playground equipment or the roof or some tree. He skates with the same kind of reckless abandon. He may not know how something is going to slide or how it is going to work out, but he jumps on it like he knows what he is doing and most of the time it works out. I’ve also seen him get super close on a bunch of tricks. Times where it is basically there but each try just keeps throwing him to the ground. The kickflip in this issue took a decent amount of tries, but you wouldn’t expect it with how good each try was. Perfect flip and catch each time. I also just found out he wrestles, which I didn’t expect but makes sense with the way he skates.

‘Mondo 50-50

Augie Backside 5-0 Matt Erlandson Backside Nosepick at the stairway to heaven

dead last Going nowhere fa

st

Mikey Horn Sweeper

Crack Melon

The year was 20XX when the smoke and dust from the bombs droppings finally started to clear and the sun began to shine again on the destroyed civilization. Nuclear holocaust does not discriminate and the few people left over were not some ideal group to rebuild society, they were the scum on the bottom of the bucket. In a world, so bleak and devoid of any enjoyment, FUN became the primary good to be bought and sold and no one had it in higher supply than skateboarders. Of course, skateboarders are a clique-y bunch and would not just share the secret of their enjoyment with everyone, and they soon profited off traveling the world and selling their lifestyle. (They also took over the shoe business and everyone left was wearing and buying skate shoes, they were the combat boots of the postapocalypse) These skateboarders had so much fun skating the destroyed buildings and empty plazas of the world that people thought they were on drugs. Some of them were. But the secret wasn’t in the drugs. It was in that they didn’t care about any of the mess, they just saw it as a new way to skate their spots. All the business of nuclear disaster really wasn’t that important when you had new concrete to crush, and no security or cops to give a damn. People tried alternatives to skateboarding to try and make a profit, people rode scooters, bicycles, they wore the clothing and watched the videos, but no one could capture the feeling of pure stoke like the skateboarders. When pressed for their secrets, they just laughed.

It exploded like another round of bombs in just a few years, suddenly skateboarding was the new savior of humanity coming from the depths of a war-torn world to unite people in the process of skating. Mothers in Mexico City were buying Nikes for their suns to learn Tre flips in, young girls in the swiss mountains skated in training facilities for hours each day, perfecting synchronized inverts, entire cities were built around bearing factories in China. Skateboarding saved the world, but it was dirty and it worshipped itself like some type of false God that looked at only its reflection for too long. It forgot that there was ever anything else and became dismissive of decency between people. Instead of wars, other countries just went to each other’s skateparks and vibe each other out, occasion games of skate dotted the borders but it was a tense peace. Instead of growing and becoming bigger and newer, they retreated old tricks and old stereo types for cheap laughs and cheap likes. The only reason any one skated was to prove their piety and show how much fun they were having.

The church itself had strayed from its message and was a mockery of itself.

Now it waits, larger than life, a fat cat, waiting to die, waiting to be shamed, so humanity can thrive again and skateboarding can again take its throne and the bottom of the bottom, dead last. Born to lose.

Ed Devera Nose Grind

Anderson Schmidt Wallie Boardslide

Willy Santos Nosepick

Bad Art/Good Fun

Submit: Eatthebologna@gmail.com

Joe Marshall

Ride to this shit I eventually must write about something that isn’t just guaranteed to be loved by skaters or generic hip-hop again. So outside of the skating approved (but not far) I bring you Minus the Bear. Rock kind of like the Killers but with computer sounding guitars and less whining. Every release is solid but this one from 2012, seems to really feel good. The early albums are still a Minus the Bear - Infinity Overhead bit tongue in cheek with obnoxious song titles leftover from emo-bands. (2012) His band Drowning Clowns kind Here there seem to take themselves of sounds like Minus the Bear at a bit more seriously and the songs times so I can see it. I’d like to vote are better for it. It sets up a dreamy, to have ‘Cold Company’ in a DC cold atmosphere that I could see video. When is the next DC video being used in a skate video. I’m anyways? seeing Evan Smith in my mind.

Joe Marshall

London Davis Nollie Frontside Heelfip

e p y H Video Kris Anacleto

Double Guns 3.5

https://vimeo.com/219340399

I don’t like video premiers. Maybe I’m spoiled but the combination of poor viewing quality and having to deal with a bunch of drunk skateboarders makes me want to just watch it at home. Lots of great premiers have passed through the area and I have passed most of them up, no regrets. The Double Guns 4 video is the first local thing I’ve been really excited about in a while, DG was my introduction to San Marcos when I still lived in the desert. I decided to get myself out to the premier of the 3.5 promo in order to get used to these typically awkward premier events.

I was expecting a disaster, being at a brewery just had me expecting “technical difficulties” skateboarders are typically not talented audio/video technicians. Well I was wrong, completely wrong.

Everything went off without a hitch. It was a full house but not too crowded that anyone’s view was blocked. The video was clear, the audio wasn’t deafeningly loud. I have to say I felt silly expecting it to fall apart, it went off smoothly.

Over here at ETB we are huge fans of Tim Tom. He is like the San Marcos Tiago. Zack’s footage gave me the feeling of just hucking it and it got me hyped like an old zero video. A full-length homie video getting love with a real premier is a rare thing in 2017 and how excited I am about it goes to show how important that can be. I still haven’t even watched the new TWS vid, but I’ve already watched tis promo a few times. (Editor’s Note: DG4 IS Sick)

209 N.Coast Highway , Oceanside CA.

ETB 2017