Eat The Bologna Issue 6

Issue #6 Vol. 1 Winter 2018

El Toro Arizona Vacation Art & Tall Tales

Alex Pedroza Wallie

EatTheBologna

By Scott Morton

Issue 6 Vol. 1 Winter 2018

Content • Phoenix Road Trip

Quick roll through the dirt

The best 3 tries I’ll ever witness

May the best full-length be forgotten last

• Vincent Milou & Le Taureau • Album vs. Purple

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Waylon Hendricks Bluntslide Photo: C. Nunez

Matt Erlandson Nollieflip Photo: C. Nunez

ARIZONA

Our trips aren’t like other trips you are

going to read about in magazines. We aren’t doing this because we need to make a 3 min montage to sell some Vans to some remote corner of the country. We don’t have to put on demos for 2 dozen pre-teens. Weedmaps didn’t put us up in a tropical paradise. We aren’t out here on a mission for a dream trick and we didn’t drive 15 hours just to realize the spot was too big. We just want to skate new stuff. It is the combination of seeing new things and getting out of the old.

So with no plan other than a hotel room booked, we headed out to Arizona for a weekend. We left San Diego on a weekday evening and while everyone was driving home work we were headed out the other direction.

A list of probably 20 parks got pared down into about 8 ones that we really wanted to skate and by the time we got there it had already beenscrapped and changed to a different set of parks.

We called local talent Shaun Gregoire and asked for cool spots to skate. He gave us an English-food restaurant and told us to call him on a non-work day when he wasn’t building motorcycles or doing something else cooler than skating with us. So back to the list of parks.

First day we hit a fun looking plaza called Ceaser Chavez park and it looked fantastic from the internet, but we were way too dead from sitting in the car. Legs had a 10 hours of jelly to work out. So, we scratched that and headed to Desert West park, where they have Phoenix Am and built some transition; our legs needed transition. It was fun, but the old coping was round and the old quarters mellow and lumpy. The new additions built seemed to come right out of street league.

This clash between new and old was only second to the contrasting images at a memorial on the southside of the park for a fallen skater. There were flowers, signs, and nik-naks all next to a confederate flag half-covered by a Bob Marley beach towel. South meets West and and they call it the Southwest.

We needed to get some bearing lube to resist this Arizona dust and a razorblade to grip up fresh boards. To the skateshop! On the way out there, we got distracted at a transition park just because it was so close. Maybe it was spending all day warming up, but this is where things finally started to come around and our legs were working. Goodyear park is far from the type of park we would normally skate, I don’t even think it was on my list of original eight we wanted to skate, but that tiny tight quarterpipe got some loving and Matt boosted a crazy high frontside air out of such a tiny little launch.

Still in need of supplies we head over to Cowtown. We were able to get in, check out a rad shop, buy some cool shirts as souvenirs and even grabbed some local videos. Support your local shop and videographers!

On the way back, we ate at glorious Whataburger, whose glory we discovered on a trip to Texas a few years ago.

People in California claim In-n-Out but Whataburger has a menu where I get upset I cant order every item on the menu.

Arizona seems to sit in that magical middle ground of the country where it gets all the best restaurants. I really think some of the good east coast and southern restaurants avoid going to California because its expensive and pretentious. Our hotel was next to a Waffle House and down the street was in n out, next to a Mexican joint as authentic as any you’ll find in San Diego County. For the fast-food-aficionado, Phoenix is the spot.

Stomachs full we decided to look at one more park instead of sitting in traffic all the way back to the hotel. I was full of grease and every ollie brought me one step closer to that dreaded side ache. Every half attempt was followed by a minunte of sitting. No go at this park.

On the second day we decided to start out at Tempe park.

Even though the legs weren’t out of the box yet, the skating felt good. The Euro gap with the flatbar on top of it is every bit as fun as it looks.

The rest of the park has seen better days, every crack and seem was bursting, so the park was full of holes and uneven spots.

The marble ledge was missing over 2 feet of marble and the city had replaced it with concrete; not quite the same.

After Tempe we realized this unplanned aimlessness was going to be unproductive. Instead of hitting a bunch of parks to say hi, we decided to go back to the hotel, watch a Pyramid Country video that we copped while stopping at another one of the Cowtown locations.

This location was bigger and had some cool boards on the ceiling. They had a full run of the unmade “Populist” company that changed its name and became Popwar. Josh’s inner skate nerd was stoked.

Next we drive in traffic where I had a bit too much water we had to do an emergency pit stop so I could pee. Of course, we pull off in the hood, and of course the bathroom is closed where we stop (It’s the hood, isn’t the bathroom always closed?) but the floodgates are opening at this point, so I take off on the 100-meter dash away from the main road to find anywhere to avoid a public urination charge.

On our way back to the road we watched a car pass stopped traffic on the sidewalk of a school that had barbed wire at the top and bottom. So at least we got to see a bit of the dirty phoenix and not just what was built in the last five years.

Surprise park looks amazing, and if you aren’t sliding or turning it is fantastic. Tons of ledges and small hubbas it looks like a dream. Until you try to skate it and realize it is as slippery as a bar of soap in the shower. I know we used to always joke Syndrome park for how slick it was, but this took wax to a new level of dangerous. Even with a perfect lock in it was possible to slip out very quickly in any number of directions. When you fall, you end up like Jeron Wilson half way across the park.

Even being packed by scoots wasn’t worse than

how slick it was. After Matt threw down a couple of great ones up a long euro we cut our losses and went to Mirage park. No point in hurting ourselves on the ice rink for scooters.

The first park we went to the next day was only walking distance from our hotel. I booked that hotel in anticipation of skating that part most nights, but we didn’t even get to it until the last day. There is a long-kinked rail that I was claiming before we came. Watch the footage to see if I do it or not. (Spoiler, I don’t) But we did get out the GoPro quick after messing around on a tiny little ledge for a while.

Man, little ledges are the best thing in skateboarding.

Parks build all this crazy stuff but just give me a bunch of ledges and I’m fine. We also skated a steep quarterpipe for a while and got to mess around filming for a bit. The transition was so steep that some unsuspecting little helmet went flying towards it expecting to do a flyout, but he hit it like a wall and dove helmet first into the concrete up top. Of course, being a pre-teen, his bones are made of rubber and even though he folded, he jumped up and was fine.

I decided I should probably try to shoot photos at least once on this trip, so I pulled it out so Matt could shoot a back disaster. I have gotten better at skating on trips, but I need to get better at documenting it. We put the camera away and Matt did a long noselide down a Hubba next to the kinked rail I was talking about. Long and solid it was rad.

We had filmed enough that the SD card on the GoPro was full. When we were filming on the quarterpipe we were counting down the amount of tries that could be done on the 15 seconds left. Instead of taking the time to dump footage and any nonsense that could come with that, Matt just decided to buy a new card. We found a Fry’s that was close to the famous Wedge skatepark and headed over to

buy a card. On the way to the Wedge we saw another Waffle House and my jealousy from them eating it the night before had us going again. Luckily, we didn’t really plan on skating much at the Wedge, more to just see it, because it was full like a birthday party. We sat on the Hubba, we looked at the gap T-Funk recently kickflipped. we found a skateboard covered in barnacles that had fallen in the water. It was a cool relaxing moment on the trip. One of those moments where skateboarding doesn’t really involve anything more than just being on a Full Text & Video on skateboard with Eatthebologna.com friends.

Vincent’s Front blunt was the craziest three tries I will ever witness in person. I got an invite the night before and had heard that Vincent was going to try something but I didn’t know what trick. I assumed there would be another photographer so my presence was totally unnecessary, but when you get an invite to see one of the most famous rails ever get skated you don’t say no. So I crammed myself into the middle seat, sweaty arms rubbing up against Holtz and a French filmer I got familiar with during the ride as we headed up to the rail.

This wasn’t my first rodeo at El Toro but when you stand on top of it the only thing you can really think is “Nope.” I wasn’t sure if Vincent was going to commit and jump on it, I was a little scared. If you’ve watched Clive Dixon nollie noseblunt you know that all tries carry some danger. We had warmed up hours earlier at Poods and he had done every flatbar and down-rail trick easily, but I don’t know how much you can prepare for something like a 25 foot handrail. I had some fun at the top skating the two-stair and we had to tell some kid to not post the session to IG.

Then he just fucking did it. He did a smith grind first try and said something in French about it being a bad pop but he still pulled it off easy, kickflipping a trash can on the roll away. By then he was gassed, jumped into one front blunt and slid it all the way down, running back up the stairs knowing he had it next go. Sure enough next go he slid all the way down the monster and turned out to regular. We spent the whole care ride home talking about it somewhat in disbelief. Incredible Vincent.

Vincent Milou Front Blunt

Matt Erlandson Switch 50-50

Alex Pedroza Backside Barrel

Alex Tschauner No-Comply 5050

Album vs. Purple Album is a heavy hitter of a video where being “cool” isn’t as important as the skateboarding itself.

The format is the same as full-length’s have been since VHS with each rider and their part standing on its own thematically. If the skate video as an art from led to the glorification of the Ender part and the after-black section, Joslin takes it to it’s conclusion and has the ender ender to end enders.

The cast tends to be people you forgot about rather then people you think about every day, but it is always pleasant to say “Oh yeah Matt Berger, I liked him.” Willow and Barney Page climb out from their European holes and remind us of their existence.

The music is custom made for the video with input from different skate-musicians watching the people skate, attempting to soundtrack the part. While this is a cool idea and makes copyright easy to avoid, I’m not sure it makes the video any better. There is something joyous about hearing the first chords of a familiar song playing when the name comes across the screen that can’t be replicated with in-house music.

Purple is a video that is much more concerned with being cool.

Luckily the skateboarding in it is good too.

The normal video format is played with a lot here and we get a lot of long montages and each part is filled up with guest tricks and tricks from other team riders.

Similar to Gonz in Away days, Kenny Anderson is throughout the video like the elder leading the new team.

Instead of the traditional ender, Louie Lopez gets ender and then after credits start to run Jake Johnsons part starts, as if it just a bonus instead of the ender. It gives a feeling that this footage is just bonus, a gift to us from JJ himself, even if much of it is pretty old.

Cons team is really good right now with favorites like Mike Anderson and Bobby De Keyezer having parts, but I wish it wasn’t so stacked with current cool kids like the GX1000 guys and the Supreme team. Sean Pablo plays a bargain bin Dylan without any of the power and style that made Dylan so good. Sage does a stinkbug indy grab over a pole in a Lonzo jersey and that’s all I really need to say about him.

Ultimately it feels like Converse wanted something that could cash in on just how popular FA and associates are. Cons is really popular right now in a way Etnies can’t compare. The Etnies video is great because it shows that a great video doesn’t have to be bankrolled by the hottest brands to be good.

Ride to this shit

Coheed is the last band that I would associate with skateboarding. Over the top fantasy themes, soaring guitar solos, and a voice that somehow soars even higher, they really aren’t music for skateboarding.

Lucky for me this was the intro song in the first local skate video I ever saw.

I’m 13 years old, skateboarding is my entire world and the shop is my window into that world. In my small desert town, it was the center of everything and the guys who rode for it were better then all the pros. The lights dim at the first premier I ever go to and its my first exposure to that electric feeling at skate video premiers. The first shaky scenes of the Ridgecrest sign show up on the screen and the intro riff to the title track start playing.

Even now my heart practically explodes with joy when I hear it.

In the years since then, the record has grown on me for its ability to show signs of so many different genres. There are guitar riffs that could fit into a heavy metal song alongside soaring pop-punk hooks and emo flavored confession.

Coheed & Cambria - In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 (2003)

When most peope talk about Coheed they have to mention Claudio’s high voice, but honestly it is easier to get acclimated to than normal heavy metal screaming.

The wild backstory of fantasy imagery, the puzzle of the lyrics, even the fact that this was titled Volume 3 when there were not previously vol. 1 or 2 gave this album a great sense of mystery.

The line from the title track, as well as the skate video, was “Man your Battlestations.”

I never knew what it meant but I attributed the Call-toArms feeling it gave me to skateboarding, even if all we are coming together to do is have a really fun session.

Bad Art/Good Fun

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Anderson Schmidt 2018

2018 Year End Awards Rookie of the Year

Yuto Horigome Rookie of the Year is for the skater that was new on my radar this year and Yuto came out with weird spins and almost no effort. Sure it helps to come from another country, but his nollie halfcab to switch feeble 270 showed me that people in Japan were seeing new tricks as possible. He is young enough to have grown up seeing Suciu and realizing that all the awkward rotations are possible. Even his flatground trick selection showed a fresh perspective from the typical building blocks I use to make lines.

Soty of the Year They say hindsight is 20/20 but we knew it when it back then. Jamie Foy is going to have many years ahead of him ripping, meanwhile Tiago can’t even get in the country. It’s like his footage has been taken hostage and we are only getting odd clips from the lands of his exile demanding ransom.

Tiago Lemos

Video of the Year

Nick Palmquist 360 Flip Pyramids of Giza

The Supreme video showed me that the only constant over the last 30 years in skateboarding is people heckling security guards.

Well those kids in New York with their $$$ and fashion need to take it to the top like Nick Palmquist.

This man paid off a security guard to climb the ancient pyramid at Giza and did a 360 flip. From the top he sees the Egyption guards down at the bottom taunting him.

The next clip is him with his head straight bust. Supreme kids at home with your nice paychecks from hassling low-wage security, take note of a real one.

Most Improved Player

TWS Videos After the disaster that was the last handful of TWS videos, expectations were at an all time low for the former video giant. The last couple of VX offereings felt like an atttempt at making an indie video and came off artificial. Even though this new one is basically a Dickies video, it feels like everyone involved actually cared.

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