ECLIPSE Magazine February 2020

s u r v i v o r s

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Contents

36.

Through the Lens

90.

At Home With...

120.

Artist Highlight

80.

Proust Spotlight

112.

The Art Perspective

128.

The World of Roleplay

ECLIPSE Magazine invited a few friends beyond the lens to showcase their take on loving yourself.

Teaming up with the Blogger & Vlogger Network, we shine the spotlight on the talented Honey.

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Luane Meo returns to our monthly home & decor feature inspiring with her take on romance.

Electric Monday joins ECLIPSE Magazine as she reviews The Shui Mo gallery featuring Fiona Fei.

This month we highlight an ECLIPSE Magazine favorite, the extraordinary live singer, Toxic Darkmatter.

ECLIPSE Magazine explores the roleplay community “The Conquest of Elysium: Ascension.�

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ECLIPSE Magazine is dedicated to not only offering an aesthetically pleasing publication, but to also be considered a platform that offers rich and relevant content. Each month, we showcase residents and groups that have taken the concept of “your world, your imagination� to such great heights that they have impacted the culture and lifestyle of the Second Life community.

54.

Cover Story Survivors of Suicide Cover Photographer Geena Carminucci

140.

Places to Go

152.

Voices from the Grid

180.

The Wayfarer

Writer Cajsa Lilliehook

ECLIPSE Magazine highlights places to visit with a group of friends.

Each issue ECLIPSE Magazine asks residents a question, see what they have to say.

Join the Wayfarer as they travel the grid, visiting The Cold Rose Estate.

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executive team

Trouble dethly Publisher

tiffany parkin

cajsa lilliehook

MINNIE FAE DETHLY

sol may valor

Assistant Editor

Creative Director

Copy Editor

Social Media Manager

the c

writers

photographers

Cajsa Lilliehook Electric Monday Grayden Foxe Minnie Fae Dethly Novaleigh Freng Taylor Wassep Tiffany Parkin

Cassie Middles Electric Monday Geena Carminucci June Fallon Minnie Fae Dethly Novaleigh Freng Taylor Wassep Tempest Rosca Wicca Merlin

stylists June Fallon Taylor Wassep Tempest Rosca Tiffany Parkin Wicca Merlin

guest stylist & photographer Grace Sixpence, Hayden Dethly (BarryLoyd), Luane Meo & Sylvia Olivier

interested in advertising with eclipse? have an idea for a great story? looking to start a new career in second life? email trouble.dethlysl@gmail.com

contributors

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This is our fifth anniversary issue. We had our party on February 15, and honestly?

I always think no one is going to show up, but they did. We had live music from Ry Anne, Wolfie Starfire and Tally. I highly recommend you go to their live shows because they are fantastic singers. We also had gift cards/store credit given away throughout the party from Apple Fall, Ascend, Blueberry, Dahlia, Elm., Equal, Fourth Wall, Glam Affair, KraftWork, LYBRA, MadPea, MADRAS, Masoom, Modulus, moss&mink, Phedora, Powder Pack, Seniha Originals, Serenity Style, THOR, Vagrant and Vinyl Apparel. So super thankful to them, as well. I also made June decor the venue, and she did a phenomenal job. She’s actually the best and saves my ass more times than I would ever care to admit. I’m grateful for her. I’m also grateful to everyone who came and celebrated with us!

Reflecting on the past five years, it has been the strangest but most fulfilling experience. The opportunity to share stories of people and groups across the grid has been rewarding, and it is genuinely something I enjoy. This would be impossible without the entire team here. There are times where I expect such a quick turnaround from the team, and they always deliver and go above and beyond. I need to go buy them presents because they’re incredible, and I truly would not be able to publish without them. I’m so grateful for them.

I have a confession to make. I have had the bulk of this issue laid out since yesterday, but I couldn’t finish it. For the past four anniversary issues, we have featured more serious topics. When I decided I wanted to put Survivors of Suicide on the cover, I knew it would be hard. The thing is I did not anticipate how difficult it would be. Each person we interviewed did great, and I’m in awe of how brave they are in sharing their stories. And as she always does, Cajsa did such a phenomenal job telling their story. Do you ever have moments in your life that you wish you could forget? And for a time you do, but then you remember.

When I read their responses and read the article, I remembered everything. I remembered the things that I left forgotten in the darkest corner of the attic of my mind. And I’m trying my best to escape that head space.

My transitions are awful, but I honestly hope you enjoy this issue.

letter from the PUBLI

ISHER

One thing that is so special about being a part of the team here at ECLIPSE is Trouble’s courage and willingness to discuss difficult issues that impact so many of us here in Second Life. My first real exposure to ECLIPSE was when Trouble contacted me a little more than a year ago and asked me to take part in the 4th anniversary cover story about being transgender in Second Life. As I would explain to Trouble shortly before that edition was published, that day was one of the scariest days of my life.

As with every anniversary issue, Trouble wanted to again confront one of those difficult topics. This month, it’s suicide and the support many within Second Life find through the group Survivors of Suicide. Mental illness is one of those incredibly difficult topics to discuss but, in my opinion, is so relevant to all of us here in Second Life. Many of us here suffer from depression, anxiety and other disorders that many of us don’t discuss. So many of our peers in Second Life endure their pain in silence for fear of being judged. In 2020, none of us should have to remain silent and groups like Survivors of Suicide offer many of our fellow residents a safe place to find support and strategies to aid them in their recovery from mental illness.

Like last year’s piece, the anniversary cover story was difficult for me as well.

Sebastian, the founder of SoS, asked me to be interviewed for this article, along with several of the amazing mentors in the group. For me, this story led to confronting the memories of my struggles with debilitating depression, anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Gender Dysphoria. But this article also reminded me of what I overcame to find a road to recovery and what is possible for anyone suffering with mental illness. SoS is a tool to help many of our peers find hope and understanding, two of the key elements needed to overcome mental illness.

Personally, I want to commend Trouble for having the courage to confront these difficult topics. As he said when I asked him, “Why this story?” His response was simple...it’s a topic that must be discussed and brought out into the open to remove the taboo so others can see that their lives are worth living.

With that, we bring you our 5th Anniversary Edition of ECLIPSE. We hope you enjoy it and here’s to another five years.

letter from the EDITO

OR

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through the lens

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Each issue, ECLIPSE Magazine invites the many talented photographers from Second Life to collaborate. With this piece, they style, create and share a glimpse through their lens.

For this addition, Grace Sixpence, Hayden Dethly, Minnie Dethly, Sylvia Olivier, Taylor Wassep, Tempest Rosca & Tiffany Parkin show us their take on self love and loving yourself.

Photographer: Grace Sixpence

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Photographer: Hayden Dethly (BarryLoyd) ECLIPSE February 2020 | Page 41

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Photographer: MinnieFae

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Photographer: Sylvia Olivier

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Photographer: Taylor Wassep

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Photographer: Tempest Rosca

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Photographer: Tiffany Parkin

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Saving Lives in Seco photography by cassie middles, geena carminucci & Taylor wassep. writt

ond Life en by cajsa lilliehook.

For as little as we talk about suicide, it impinges on many of our lives. Most of us have lost friends or family to suicide. I lost two brothers-in-law in the eighties. I can see the effects on their children and grandchildren to this day. Other friends and family have died by suicide over the years. I have thought all the wrong things, wondering how someone so happy could kill himself or feeling angry on behalf of those left behind. People feel what they feel, but so much of what we think about suicide is provably false. If we change the way we think about suicide, we can better support those at risk and help them far more effectively.

The suicide impulse is more common than we like to admit and many of us have felt it at one time or another.

I vividly remember driving the Santiam Highway along Detroit Lake and feeling this impulse to drive off the edge of the cliff. That was long ago but I have not forgotten that feeling. Recognizing no one would take my cat who growled at everyone but me was enough to keep me on the road, but where did that thought come from?

I usually hide behind the words, holding myself outside the story, but one of the things that gives suicide power is silence. The more we talk, the more successfully we can support people in their own struggle to resist suicide or recover from its trauma. That is why ECLIPSE Magazine is featuring Survivors of Suicide, a peer support group in Second Life with nearly 1,500 members and its twelvth year of providing education about preventing suicide as well as support and education about treating depression.

We interviewed seven members of Survivors of Suicide and solicited anonymous comments on plurk. Survivors of Suicide’s mission is to help people find real-life help with online support. It is completely free. The Managing Director of Survivors of Suicide for the last four years has been Sebastien Bouevier. Kitten Meridoc is the Director of Mentors and is responsible for training new mentors and provides support, guidance and advice to the mentors. Amy Juneau Jaks, DisJeremy Resident, Brooklyn Breeze Zapp and Aznloki Darkfold, who goes by Az, are mentors. Jeremy also runs a special support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID.) ECLIPSE Magazine editor Tiffany Parkin is the facilitator for the Page 56 | ECLIPSE February 2020

Transgender Support Group formed to address the specific concerns of transgender survivors. They all have their own unique history with suicide and their own struggles to overcome. They all understand that the only superpower in the struggle against suicide is talking openly about it and have generously shared their stories.

Amy’s struggle began in childhood when she was bullied both verbally and violently. She joined SL when she was just thirteen and her friendships there were important support, but she had no idea that more formal support networks existed. After she tried to kill herself her mother sent her to live with her father in the U.K. It did not work out and she soon found herself homeless in London, a harrowing experience especially for a teen. Back in Canada with her mother brought new challenges. Her mother struggled with making ends meet and with drug and alcohol addiction. “Just hanging out with friends and strangers in this weird virtual world was amazingly helpful when things started to fall apart at home. I was a kid, I didn’t know what I was doing and some people would say I shouldn’t have been on Second Life at such a young age, but it helped me make it through.”

When she was just sixteen, her mother took her life when she was too exhausted by her financial, addiction, and emotional struggles to continue. SL became even more important to Amy then. “It’s surprising how much a conversation with a random stranger in a virtual world can help when you feel like the whole world is falling apart around you.” She also found support with a best friend in real life. Soon, she met a man who was a big part of her recovery from the trauma of her mother’s suicide, though his overall influence was not benign. “He helped me to accept myself and to make important RL changes.

I felt loved again, and he filled a hole that mom had left behind. But I was also filling that hole with other things too, managing my mental health conditions with increasingly heavy drug use.” He fostered her drug use, both of them using more and more often. He eventually became violent.

When he turned abusive, she fled to live with her sister and taking increasing amounts of pills. She would black out and was slowly sinking into oblivion. She turned back to Second Life looking for the kind of support she remembered from the past. In 2019, she came across ECLIPSE February 2020 | Page 57

Surivors of Suicide, found a mentor who talked her into going to rehab. Her mentor stayed in contact with her while she was in rehab, calling her since she had no access to Second Life. They are now sisters in SL and she lives with her and her husband, another SOS member.

Az suffered from anxiety and severe panic disorder. He had become skilled at covering his struggle. He lost one of his best friends who knew he was hiding something and lost his trust which allowed someone to come between them and break their friendship.

Something just broke one day while he was attending college and working three jobs.

“I’m still clean, so far so good. So far, I haven’t “The stress of it all just overwhelmed me. I relapsed since rehab. But I didn’t get here alone, I remember at first a severe denial of this couldn’t did it with the help of my family and friends and be happening to me, then just going through also Survivors of Suicide, they all dragged me out the motions trying to find some reason to keep of that pit. It’s not an exaggeration to say that going. It’s also when I first found SL which gave they saved my life.” me a way to keep from going completely insane

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when I wasn’t capable of handling the outside world.”

When he finally opened up and told people about his panic disorder, his friends were supportive and were there for him. “Once that happened I made more progress in a year than I did in the previous seven.” His advice is to be open and not be discouraged. He tried more than one therapist and treatment during his recovery. He hopes people will not follow his example, which was to give up for six months or so, then try something new in desperation.

“Had I been open about my issues and more

persistent about working on them I feel like I wouldn’t have basically lost seven years of my life.”

Brooklyn believes if she can survive and work through her suicidal ideation, anyone can. It is and always will be a struggle for her to manage depression and despair. “I may have won the battle, but I haven’t won the war. Depression does not discriminate. This is something I will struggle with for the rest of my life. I can only fight this with the help of loving, compassionate, patient people in my life.”

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For her, having a support group, therapy, and medication are important, but so is having something to focus on that is bigger than herself. “Being of service to others, having a ‘happy place’ and a ‘safe space’ to process thoughts and feelings that plague me are how I cope.” She knows what to watch for and recognizes when she needs to seek more help. “I am not too good or too ashamed to admit myself into a hospital for medication adjustments, groups, whatever the case may be. I cannot do this alone. I need to keep up my self care, be compassionate with myself, the same way I want to be there for others, I have to be there for myself, too.”

get him the help he needed. “She left messages at all the numbers that weren’t answered, and we decided that we would go to the first one to call us back. We never regretted that decision. Getting professional help is the most important thing you can do to survive a suicide attempt, and the best way to get the help you need to find new meaning in your life.”

Kitten was going through a mental health crisis, feeling alone and desperate when she searched for depression in Second Life groups. That is when she came across SOS. “I didn’t talk much in the group during those early days but I did a lot of listening and supporting of other people and that Jeremy is one of the many people in a all by itself helped me a lot.” She describes group who share the same body. “We recovery as a journey, not a destination. call ourselves Distraida. We don’t really Sometimes the journey is surprising and know how many of us there are, because it certainly does not go in a straight line. sometimes we find new people, and Yet, people make the journey all the other times some people fade into the time. “I’ve had issues since the age of five. background or leave through the internal I’ve struggled, I’ve fought, sometimes I’ve world’s gates.” This is the main diagnostic won and sometimes I’ve lost. But I always symptom of Dissociative Identity Disorder. manage to get back on my feet and keep The ‘condition’ of having more than one working. It’s a process but with the right person sharing your brain and body is the help support it’s completely possible. Get main ‘symptom’ of Dissociative Identity yourself a good support system. That can Disorder (DID). mean surrounding yourself with family and friends, or where that’s not possible, Jeremy wants people to know that people with peer support groups both in RL and with DID are not broken nor are they here in SL. Good support can make a real possessed by demons. When someone difference.” tells you they have DID, treat them the same as anyone, but be prepared to meet Sebastien was saved by a taxi driver the others. Remember the others are truly who just happened to drive past him. other. “If you know Julie and Julie goes He stopped, pulled him of the railing of away and you’re talking to Frank, you’re a bridge, fought to keep him from going not talking to Julie being Frank or Julie back, and pinned him to the ground with acting like a man. You’re talking to Frank, a his body, repeating over and over, “It’s completely different person.” alright mate, I’ve got you,” until the police and ambulance came. He was sectioned As an example of how other, it was one under the mental health act and spent of Jeremy’s others who we have to thank weeks in a psychiatric hospital. After initial for his survival. One of his others came resistance, with therapy and medication, out and started making phone calls to he came to want to get better. “It was the ECLIPSE February 2020 | Page 61

beginning of the long journey of recovery for me, started that day by a man whose name I will never know. That act of kindness by a random stranger who put himself in harm’s way to save my life has stayed with me since then. At the time it gave me some much needed hope and reassurance that there are some good people in the world that will literally go out of their way to help someone in desperate need without as much as asking for a thank you in return.

Never underestimate the power of a good Samaritan.”

When he was released, he moved to a small town where he knew no one but his sister. He needed the support of people who had been through something like him and books were too impersonal. “Second Life and groups like Survivors of Suicide became an important part of my recovery because I could find a network of people who knew what I was going through, not because they had studied it at university or read about it in books, but because they had lived it themselves in one way or another.” There was a local support group, but it only met once a month and was difficult to get to. Sebastien also had tremendous anxiety.

Being able to attend peer support group meetings while in the comfort and safety of home was important. Most important was speaking to his peers. “Speaking to, and getting to know people who had been through what I had been through and come out the other side and not only survived, but thrived, was hugely important for me. It gave me hope that this wasn’t so much an end as it was a new beginning, and that while life hadn’t turned out the way I had wanted, there were still a lot of things to look forward to.”

Tiffany survived suicide four times with several years separating them. She points out that “surviving suicide isn’t as simple as we become suicidal, receive treatment during the crisis point and all becomes better.” For her, Gender Dysphoria was always a contributing factor, along with depression, trauma, grief, and PTSD. “The single biggest thing I had to accept about myself and my life was that I was not a victim to circumstance. I had to begin to believe that I had the power to change my future.”

She lost her father to suicide when she was only eight, that plus substance abuse in her home and physical abuse and neglect caused her to develop poor coping strategies and poor relationship skills. All of this was complicated by Gender Dysphoria and the pressure to ignore her inner conflict, to deny her reality. “So accepting the fact that until I was willing to look at my own unhealthy Page 62 | ECLIPSE February 2020

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behaviors and beliefs, nothing would change, helped empower me to take control of my life and change who I was, who I allowed into my life and how I viewed myself.”

Some survivors of suicide wish that suicide would not be listed as the cause of death because it is only a symptom of the real cause of death—mental illness, most commonly depression, but also bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, Suicide is more common than you may personality disorders, and anxiety think. There were 1.4 million suicide disorders. Substance abuse and alcohol attempts in the United States in 2017 are also factors. Suicide is a human and over 48,000 died by suicide in 2018, phenomenom, so like everything to do more than twice as many people as with humanity, it is complicated. die by homicide. It is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. and for young Depression was the cause of death for people between 15 and 24, it is the both my brothers-in-law. I remember third leading cause of death. Yet we this time I was helping my brother-inhesitate to talk about suicide in the false law make his famous garlic popcorn belief that talking about it can cause it back in junior high. He had just returned to happen. No, we must talk and talk from a long medical trial at the Mayo and listen, listen, listen, and listen.

Clinic with yet another unsuccessful drug regimen to treat his depression.

There is an grain of truth in the fear of He was standing at the stove calmly talking about suicide. The media can shaking the pan and he said, “You know, sensationalize suicide with irresponsible if they ever tell me there is nothing they reporting and inspire more attempts can do, I will just end it myself.” I told my in people who are already vulnerable sister, but she already knew. She said due to depression and other stressors. she reminded him every day that his Thankfully, there are plenty of guides for family wanted him to live. reporters and news sites that can help them avoid contributing to the problem One mistake we often make is with sensationalistic headlines and conflating sadness with depression. careless coverage. Survivors of suicide Someone dies by suicide and we look at also recommend not using failed or their circumstances for clues or ask what succeeded when describing surviving or they had to be depressed about. Robin dying by suicide. It is not a competition Williams was a successful actor and and no medals are awarded. comedian. Anthony Bourdain traveled the world, had a loving wife and was in When we try to identify precipitating love with being a father. Kate Spade was factors for suicide, we are confusing a world famous designer. But neither ordinary emotional reactions to events fame nor wealth care a protection with mental illness. There’s a difference against mental illness and depression. between worry and anxiety and between grief and depression. Research Sebastien remembers a time when shows that when the media identifies he was extremely depressed and reasons, their reporting is more likely opened up to a friend who discounted to trigger suicidal impulses in others his feelings and told him to just be who already suffer from depression or happy. “I should be happy because I had anxiety or other mental illness. the job I wanted, the car I wanted, the ECLIPSE February 2020 | Page 65

apartment I wanted, and that nobody died so there was no reason for me to be sad. And there it is. I wish people didn’t equate being sad to being depressed. Being sad because you lost a pet is not the same as being depressed. Sadness is a normal human emotion, a perfectly natural response to disappointment or the loss of something or someone we hold dear, and it dissipates over time. Depression is a mental disorder that has a significant negative impact on those who are afflicted by it. A pervasive sadness is often part of depression, but by no means always. A lot of people who are depressed keep it to themselves, often putting on a smile to the world to hide their true state of mind. I have often laughed and made jokes to put people at ease and maybe distract them enough to not notice how depressed I was.”

desperately want others to know they are loved, too.” What he tells the people he mentors for S is to look in the mirror and say the words, “I am loved and worthy of loved.” If they don’t believe they are loved, he tells them to say “I am worth of love.” People need to say that again and aga until they believe it.

Allie of Hyperbole and a Half wrote tremendo cartoon explanations of her depression called “Adventures in Depression” and “Depression Par Two” that may be more illuminating for those who struggle with understanding the differen between depression and sadness and how difficult it may be for people with depression t work their way out of it.

Tiffany also stressed that depression is not something people can snap out of and just decide not to be depressed. “Severe Clinical Depression distorts our way of thinking. It impedes our judgement and makes it incredibly difficult to view the world in a realistic and rational way.

Additionally, many believe that being suicidal means being severely depressed all the time. This is far from the truth.”

She described this meme as expressing a central truth about depression which makes battling depression more complicated and difficult than people think. “It takes a lot of interpersonal work and support from our loved ones to truly overcome this depth of depression and find a true road to recovery,” she added.

For Jeremy, it is more about finding reasons to live rather than finding hope. “This is probably not what you want to hear, but I don’t have a ‘more hopeful future.’ I am alive today because I have promised people that I won’t kill myself. I don’t promise things often, and I take my promises very seriously. Right now my reason to live is because my partner, my mother, and my friends all seem to want me to live. I know I am loved - and I guess that is the key to it. I do believe that everyone can find love. I don’t even mean romantic love. The love of a friend is just as solid as the love of a spouse. I Page 66 | ECLIPSE February 2020

Impulse is an important word. When people decide to kill themselves, they usually make their attempt within twenty minutes. That’s why making it difficult by locking up guns and prescription drugs can be important actions if you know someone who is thinking of suicide Research shows the vast majority of people who attempt suicide do it within eight hours o

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making the decision. Only 13% wait a day or more. A quarter make their attempt within five minutes. The good news is that 90% of those who survive suicide do not attempt it again. This means the greatest tool in helping someone who thinking of suicide is time, time enough for the impulse to weaken and for them to change their mind.

Of course, there are people who die by suicide because humane choices such as “Death With Dignity� are unavailable to them. My cousin killed himself during the the fourth stage of a fatal cancer when the pain became unbearable. But when Oregon passed Death With Dignity, both proponents and opponents were surprised how few people applied for a prescription and were even more surprised that more

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than a third did not use the prescription once they had it. Many of those who got the prescription said just having the choice made the pain easier to bear.

So what are the signs that someone might be contemplating suicide or vulnerable to the impulse. Usually there are multiple signs that fall into three categories, talk, behavior, and mood.

If someone is talking about suicide, they might say something about feeling helpless, trapped, or in unbearable pain. They may say they are a burden to others or have no reason to live. There may be changes in their behavior such as increased drinking or drug use. They might stop hanging out with friends and family. They might get

aggressive with people, cutting themselves off in anger. They might drop out of regular activities.This is all about isolating themselves. They may sleep all the time and feel tired when they are awake. On the other hand, they may be sleepless. Some may visit people to say goodbye and give away their possessions. They may research suicide online. Some may call their loved ones.

Minutes before my brother-in-law killed himself he called my sister at work and said he just called to tell her he loved her.

Az’s stepfather’s cousin commited suicide six or seven years ago. He recalls, “The night that he did it he called my stepfather and had about a two-hour conversation reminiscing about when they were kids and all the experiences good and bad that they had together. I remember my step dad telling me

about the conversation the next day after he found out he had killed himself the previous night and that it seemed weird but he didn’t think anything of it.”

Changes in mood can also alert friends and family that someone is at risk. Of course, depression and anxiety are critical factors.

Irritability, agitation, and anger can also be signs someone is struggling. Showing a lack of interest in anything can be a sign of resignation and despair. On the other hand, sometimes when people have decided to kill themselves, they feel a sense of relief and an improved mood. It is not that they want to die, they just want the pain to end, a decision sees an end in sight. It’s complicated, which is why talking to people is so important.

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Jeremy’s current group to prevention. Condensing h pages of notes, his first an advice for people who thi is thinking of suicide is no “Even if you are freaking ou best to present a calm fron what your loved one has to judgment. Try to get your lo call a support hotline if the and if you believe they are i danger, before you call poli ambulance, try to get them hospital voluntarily, and off them there yourself.”

Jeremy has a list of questi 1. Do you have a plan? A with a plan on how they kill themselves is more a someone who doesn’t.

2. Do you have the mean out your plan? If your lo has access to weapons o to remove those from th 3. Do you know when or would do it? The more d the answer, the more at are.

4. Do you intend to kill yo the answer to this is yes loved one help as soon If they have a plan, the m and they say they will d leave them alone. Call a call the police, but do n them alone.

5. Lastly, always. Always. A take suicidal thoughts a seriously.

Sebastien wants people to through a suicide attemp health crisis is a very lone “Our minds are masters at tricks on us, often making u more isolated and alone th are. Feelings of worthlessne Page 70 | ECLIPSE February 2020

opic is suicide his several nd foremost ink someone ot to panic. ut, do your nt. Listen to o say without oved one to ey need to, in immediate ice or an m to go to the ffer to take

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ourself? If s, get your as possible. means, do it, do not a hotline, not leave

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everybody we care about would be better off if we were dead are all too common.”

He recommends friends and family show them they care about them by being there for them and taking an active interest in their emotional wellbeing. Don’t use euphemisms for suicide such as “that thing you tried” or something similar. This reinforces the taboo and the feelings of guilt and shame. People should never have to feel guilty or ashamed of having wanted to or tried to end their lives.

Tiffany stresses that no one should wait to get help or wait for your loved one to reach out to you. People who are contemplating suicide are not thinking rationally. Just saying call me if you’re feeling low does not work because depressed people don’t reach out. They isolate and that only worsens the depression. “Someone who is suicidal truly needs the support of their loved ones to find their way out of the darkness.. .Everyone is an individual, and as such will have individual needs and wants. They are likely going to be feeling drained and exhausted on top of feeling depressed. It is important to give them space and time to recover, but it is equally important to make sure they aren’t isolating themselves. If you enjoy going for daily walks, offer to walk with them. Don’t be upset or take it personally if they say no, but keep offering to do things with them.”

Kitten says we must ignore the stigma. o know going More, she suggests we openly defy pt or a mental the stigma. Stigma is the unfortunate ely experience. holdover from the bad old days when playing cruel mental health was perceived as a us feel a lot moral failing. If you are ashamed of a han we really loved one with mental illness, Kitten ess and that asks you to imagine how they feel.

Mental health issues are health issues.

Kitten reminds us to put the person first. “You may think your loved one seems troubled. You may think you know what their mental health issue is, you may not. None of that is as important as supporting the person who is suffering.

A diagnosis is not as important as what that person is going through and the knowing is secondary to the support you can give.” She recommends being open-minded and nonjudgmental.

“You may not like everything you hear, but remember this is not about you and it’s far worse for the person who has to say it.”

Brooklyn suggests you don’t take it all on yourself. She reminds you that it is not your fault, that feeling helpless is natural, and you need support, too.

“Your loved one did not ask for these haunting thoughts and feelings. What they are experiencing is very real. You hear them. You see them. You are there for them. This is not a cry for help or them seeking attention. No human being wants to feel this way. Your loved one is not lazy or selfish. They need you now more than ever. Walk through this journey with them. Root for them. Be their biggest cheerleader. Acknowledge their progress.”

Like everyone else, she recommends talking to them and checking in on them to see how they are doing.

“Be involved in their lives. If they do something that seems out of place or uncharacteristic don’t just ignore it. If they are local, go check on them physically or if not and it seems very worrisome, have a friend or even the police do a wellness check. It’s better in my opinion for them to be mad at you for a time than to never be able to talk to them again.”

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Amy says you can be the hero if you only listen. “Keep listening. Don’t stop listening. Listening to someone is how you show them that you care. Noticing when they are down or want to talk, even and especially though it might be hard for them to come out and say it. Some of the most at-risk people for suicide are the people you would least expect by watching them. People wear masks to hide the pain they feel at being unloved and excluded. By listening and showing them that you really care and notice them, you will be the hero they need.”

Sebastien wants people to know that it is possible to recover from a mental health crisis and a suicide attempt. “It won’t be easy, and it isn’t going to happen overnight, but you don’t have to do it all on your own. There is a lot of help available, both in terms of medication and therapy, but also through peers as well as friends and family.”

As he recovered from his suicide attempt and adjusted to his diagnosis of bipolar disorder. He received a lot of support and advice from peers and mentors. When he gradually moved to being a mentee to becoming a mentor for others. “That was a really big moment for me, it was when I realised that I could turn what had ultimately been the worst moments of my life into something meaningful by helping others. Since I had no way of thanking the person who saved my life, I’d like to think I am paying it forward now, and maybe the people I help will go on helping others in turn.”

For Tiffany, her father’s suicide helped her resist suicidal impulses and seek help because she remembered the pain left behind his father. When she survived suicide, it was family and friends who stood by her. “It was friends who sat with me on suicide watch for days. It was the doctors and nurses who cared for me when I admitted myself to an inpatient psychiatric unit because I was so close to committing suicide. It was the therapists who spent countless hours listening to talk through the pain of my past. It was me learning that despite all of the bad things that happened to me when I was a child, I was not a victim to life and if I wanted to feel content and serene in life, I had to let go of the things I couldn’t control and focus on controlling the things I could control.” It was a therapist who helped her understand her gender identity and medical professionals who provided the care for her transition. “It’s been the love and support I have felt as I have disclosed my gender identity to others. It’s been having the RIGHT people in my life to help me see there was hope and people who truly cared about me. It was me doing all the truly intense work...and a lot of people standing beside me, loving me, accepting me and cheering me on every step of the way.”

Amy wants readers to know about and remember Survivors of Suicide “Many people are suffering from suicidal depression and other mental health conditions right now in Second Life who have no idea Page 72 | ECLIPSE February 2020

this group exists. If you can show the way to our door, where they can find help and support at a critical time in their life, then you too will have helped to save lives just as group members do through the support they provide to each other.”

Brooklyn wraps it all up beautifully. She acknowledges that while she may have won the battle, she has not won the war. She will struggle with depression for the rest of her life. “I can only fight this with the help of loving, compassionate, patient people in my life.

Having a support group, therapy, the right medication, a sense of purpose, something to focus on bigger than myself, being of service to others, having a “happy place” and a “safe space” to process thoughts and feelings that plague me are how I cope. Also, if suicidal ideations arise, I am not too good or too ashamed to admit myself into a hospital for medication adjustments, groups, whatever the case may be. I cannot do this alone. I need to keep up my self care, be compassionate with myself, the same way I want to be there for others, I have to be there for myself, too.”

For Tiffany, part of her recovery was trying to think of something to be grateful for each day-a request from a friend. “Some days, all I could find to be grateful for was the fact I woke up and had a cup of coffee to drink... but every day I found at least one thing to be thankful for to help me see hope in the world. That exercise, which I did with my friend for approximately two years straight, truly taught me that this is ALWAYS something we can grab onto for hope in our darkest hours.”

For Jeremy, the phrase “It gets better” has real meaning. “You find reasons to go on. Sometimes you have to search for a reason, and there have been times when I’ve just made something up, like “Today I will live because I can get yarn out of my yarn box.” When you keep on keeping on, the keeping on comes easier. You can find things to look forward to.”

Kitten has some words for those who are contemplating suicide.

You are not alone. There is a whole community of people who know what this feels like. Not only is it OK to talk about, but there are many people who want to listen to what you need to say. You are never a burden. We’re here and we’re listening when you’re ready to talk. We’ve come a long way with recovery and there’s always another option - always something else to try. If at any point you feel like you’re in danger, please get help immediately, don’t wait. You are worth so much more than you think you are. I know it hurts, trust me I know. It’s real and it’s valid and I believe you. But it doesn’t need to feel like this forever. I know you’re probably tired and worn down by all this. That’s ok. Rest a little and then get up, and start talking. You can feel better. I know you can even if you don’t right now.

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What People Never Why can’t you just cheer up? Well, because they can’t. Mental health is an illness, not a weakness. It simply does not work that way. Would you ask someone with a broken arm to lay concrete?

Just like from a broken arm, people with mental health issues need time and help to heal and recover.

Stop talking about it, I’m sick of hearing it. If you can’t cope, that’s ok, but find them someone who can. Suggest they talk to their doctor, suggest they join a group. One of the worst things you can do with someone who has mental health issues is tell them to shut up about it. They need to talk. They need help, not silence.

It could be worse. This minimizes their pain. The pain someone feels is real and valid, even if it is something that would not faze you. Their pain is real and valid even if you can identify someone somewhere in a worse situation. Trying to make people in pain feel guilty for being in pain is the absolute opposite of helpful.

You should be more grateful, look at all the things you have to feel happy about. Depression and despair are not about lack of gratitude. Pain can outweigh the things that they feel good about.

Mental illness is an illness. It is not turned off by a new job or a lottery ticket.

But you don’t seem depressed. We all wear masks, people who suffer from mental illness often develop very convincing masks.

Just because you can see something does not mean it does not exist. People hide their pain for fear of being judged. Not everything that’s happening inside appears on the surface. Psychic pain is often invisible, but it is real pain.

Just get on with it. Telling people to get busy getting better is dismissive of how overwhelming the struggle may be in the wake of depression. There is no off-switch for depression. Lifestyle changes can help, but consider how frequently people without mental illness fail their lifestyle resolutions to eat better, exercise more, and get more sleep. For someone with depression, a small hill may seem like a mountain. Small incremental changes are often more helpful because they are manageable. Tackling everything at once is not going to work.

You’re only like this because of those pills. You should stop taking them. No. No. No. Amateur medical advice is dangerous.

Do not shame people for taking meds to treat their mental illness.

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Want to Hear Again While over-medication can be an issue thanks to perverse profit incentives, many disorders are best treated with medication. If you think there may be a medication issue, ask the person to talk to their doctor about it. Their doctor, not you.

It’s all in your head. Mental illness is not even literally all in your head. It can be triggered by all sort of things from life experience to hormonal imbalances, food and water contamination, trauma, and genetic factors. Saying it is al”l in your head diminishes the fact that depression and mental illness is a legitimate health concern as real as pneumonia.

I don’t have time to sit around feeling sorry for myself. This is another example of not understanding depression is a disease, not a mood. People seldom understand the totality of mental illness and think it can be willed away. People don’t think folks who get leukemia are just weak.

Life is wonderful. Life is good. This only sounds dishonest to those who deal with depression as well as other physical or mental struggles. As Jeremy put it, “My life will never be ‘wonderful.’ At the moment, my life is ‘acceptable’ and I’ll keep it at that.”

They just did it for attention. No, they are in pain and see it as a way to end the pain. Even when it is a cry for help, they deserve as much compassion as anybody else. They aren’t trying to manipulate anybody. They haven’t learned another way to ask for help and/or have learned from past experiences that asking for help isn’t usually helpful.

Everything happens for a reason. This minimizes the pain and suffering people experience. It is profoundly cruel belief that accidents, illness, and loss only happen to test and educate us. Do we really intend to tell people they deserve their pain because they need to learn a lesson? It is true people may draw meaning and inspiration from pain, but that is not a reason for it.

Suicide damns a person’s soul. Suicide is death from depression.

Depression is an illness, and any “Higher Power” does not condemn people who are sick.

Suicide is so selfish. Since many people believe their friends and family will be better off if they were gone, they think they are being selfless and doing people a failure. It’s not selfishness, it’s an illness.

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If Someone Is Cont Safety First: If you suspect that someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services or take them to the emergency department. If you’re in an online environment where that isn’t possible, try to talk your friend into doing that themselves.

Reach out. If you see suicidal warning signs, don’t be afraid to be the person reaching out first. Just a simple phone call to check on someone can make a difference.

Take it seriously. Don’t just brush it off. You may very well regret it later.

Talking about suicide does not cause suicide. You will not put the idea into someone’s head if you ask them about it. Being open to letting a person talk about their suicidal feelings can help make someone who is probably feeling very alone and isolated feel slightly less so.

Never promise to keep suicidal intent a secret. It may be a promise you’ll have to break and you will destroy that person’s trust in you. It’s better to be upfront.

Practice self care. Just as you should put on your oxygen mask first in an air emergency, so you don’t pass out before you can help your companions, you must take care of yourself in order to care for others. Helping someone with suicidal intent is exhausting and draining. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t effectively help them. It’s very important to take breaks and rest. You should find someone you trust to talk to about the stress. Do some things that

Resou Suicide.org - Suicide prevention, awareness, and support International Association for Suicide Prevention - The largest international organization dedicated to suicide prevention and to the alleviation of the effects of suicide.

IASP - List of Crisis Centers - International list of crisis centers for people contemplating suicide & their loved ones Means Matter - Research and advocacy for reducing deaths by suicide by restricting most lethal means.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - AFSP raises awareness, funds scientific research and provides resources and aid to those affected by suicide.

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templating Suicide are enjoyable to balance out your emotions. You cannot help if you collapse.

Listen. Let the person talk. Talking does not cause suicide, but it can prevent it.

Reassure. They may say they are bothering you, putting too much on you, and asking far too much. Reassure them they are not bothering you, not putting too much on you and not asking too much. Say you are there because you want to be, that it is your choice. You want to help.

Encourage them to get help. They may be afraid. You may need to get support from other family members or friends. Reassure them that they don’t have to go through it alone. If possible, offer to go with them initially if they’re too afraid to go alone.

Try to get a promise out of them to seek help. It’s no guarantee but it does make it more likely that they actually will.

Make a future plan. Again, this is not a guarantee but people who are seriously considering suicide do not love making future plans and once made, it’s kind of a reason in their mind to put it off.

Stay involved. Even after the immediate crisis has passed, they still need support. Suicidal thoughts do not disappear easily or quickly.

The person will need support over the coming weeks and possibly months.

urces Reporting on Suicide - Recommendations for reporters and editors for writing about suicide in a way that does not sensationalize it Our World in Data: Suicide - International statistics on suicide Mind.org: Helping Someone Else - Advice for friends and family for helping people with several different mental health issues and challenges.

Mind.org - A mental health and wellness site The Trevor Project - Help for LGBTIQA youth Making the Connection - Help for Veterans

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the proust spotli

photography by honey (adal

The Proust Spotlight is our monthly feature where we highlight one of the many creative residents of Second Life®.

Utilizing the Proust Questionnaire, whose namesake comes from the late 19th century French writer, we will offer a glimpse into what makes them tick.

ECLIPSE Magazine has teamed up with the Blogger & Vlogger Network, so each month the blogger we showcase on the Proust Spotlight is a group member. The group member we feature this month is the talented Honey. She shares, “Honey is an eccentric Jersey girl, spreading her love of pork roll, egg and cheese in her new relocated state, Florida. Someone who is often a goofball, she is often spent on a platform somewhere shaking her booty between photos with her good friends. Using her real life career to incorporate it in SL, Honey loves the structure and logic of interior design and tries to apply it where she can. When Honey isn’t blogging or with her friends, you can see her working on her skills to become the quickest burrito creator ever… or roleplaying at a Harry Potter sim; Mischief Managed.”

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linefaith).

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Sorry, lolol, and XD What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My greatest achievement is the day I graduated from Interior Design school.

Not only did I have a job in toe, but I graduated with high honors, and I was the first one to graduate, not once but twice from College. I was told when I was younger I would never make it out in life, and by succeeding in a dream, twice, only made that achievement much more meaningful.

What do you most value in your friends?

Loyalty and Honesty. I have had a lot of people come in and out of my life for the past 34 years, in real life and second life; The people who have stayed close to me and I was able to open up to the most, have been nothing but loyal and honest to me from day one. I am so thankful for the small group who I have considered like family in Secondlife. Through tough times and good times, we have always supported each other, and I think it’s due to the honesty and loyalty that we share for each other, that we can continue to remain close. Without it, do you think you can even consider yourselves friends?

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I would have to say Dorothy and Sophia from Golden Girls. Mother and Daughter duo, it’s really hard to pick just one, since they have so many similarities. My sarcasm and, as my friends and I call it…, “assholes-ness” tends to be like Dorothy. There are many times where I will say dorothy-isms or have her general outlook and facial remarks in any conversation. As for Sophia, I can tell stories like her…”Picture it, Sicily 1922…” I just hope one day I am as quick witted and brasen as her at her age.

How would you like to die?

Peacefully and in my sleep. I am sure that is most people’s idea of the way they would like to die, but it is the easiest and nicest way to go. If I couldn’t die like that, I hope I die doing something I love or adventurous; a story that would make the people I love smile and know I was in a better place then.

What is your motto?

“Live for Today, We’ll Dream Tomorrow.” Lyrics from Time & Confusion from Anberlin. Looking for today, and not worrying about tomorrow’s problems, because you never know what can happen in 5 minutes, let alone a week from now. Not only is it from one of my all time favorite bands, but this band has saved me in real life from a lot of things with their positivity, not only in music, but who they are as people. It is something to be inspired from…

Connect with Honey on her Facebook, Flickr and Blog.

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at home with...

styling and photography by l

ECLIPSE Magazine explores the long underappreciated and overlooked world of home and garden design. The flourishing diversity and abundance of choice since the mesh revolution has led to a bold new world of creation.

For this month’s feature, Luane Meo showcases the best of romance in home and decor with her inspired photography spread. Check out more of her work on her Flickr.

luane meo.

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Outdoor Scarlet Creative Xander Skybox - Ground Version Apple Fall Olive & Daisy Planter Apple Fall Privet Ball (Variegated) Apple Fall Row Boat - Cream 3D TREES hanging white wisteria 3D TREES Young Birch group KIDD*REED CATTAIL*SHORT THICKET*

CubeRepublic Jetty 1 Mutresse-Bored-Witty Cats JIAN Frog Pond :: Lily Pad Frog Nutmeg. His Bike Blue v2 Nutmeg. Her Bike White v2 Nutmeg. Garden Bench w/Blanket Pile PG MoreLOD, 15Li :LW: Bento Poses - Lost Driftwood prop

Little Branch YoungGinkgoTree{Animated} HPMD* WildGrasses - a HPMD* Gravel Ground -green- straight Heart - Wild Flowers - Queen Ann’s Lace +Half-Deer+ Spring Serenade - Bird House B *Thus Magic* - Twin Sakura Trees w particles on/off COPY MOD *alirium* DwarfForest [OldGold]

Kitchen [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Cupboard Insert 1, [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Island, [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Oven - white, [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Cupboard Insert 4, [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Cupboard Insert 6, [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Counter Straight [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Dishwasher [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Crates [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Sink 3 [Con.] Catia Kitchen - Fridge Counter dust bunny . kitchen clutter . spice rack . white, dust bunny . kitchen clutter . potted herbs . parsley, dust bunny . kitchen clutter . potted herbs . basil, dust bunny . kitchen clutter . potted herbs .

rosemary, dust bunny . kitchen clutter . utensil pitcher . white dust bunny . kitchen clutter . dish drying rack . white dust bunny . chocolate strawberries, Serenity Style- Home Stuffs Pitcher, Serenity Style- Jacob’s Bunch of dishes, ionic : Groceries , apples and water, Ionic: vase with Roses and branches MudHoney Kitchen Clutter Pot Rack ULTRA RARE, MudHoney Kitchen Clutter Measuring Cups, MudHoney Kitchen Clutter Collanders MudHoney Kitchen Clutter Grinders, MudHoney Cooper Soap Dish, MudHoney Kitchen Clutter Knife Block ACORN Apron Wall Decor -Hygge,

{what next} ‘Patisserie’ Kitchen Mixer, {what next} Country Kitchen Apple Pie Tentacio - Love brunch, Trompe Loeil - Corazon Patio Barstool, Apple Fall Cheeseboard, Apple Fall Basil Sproutlings Apple Fall Plaster Candles Dahlia - Posh - Champagne Tray - Brut / Silver, Dahlia - Posh - Single Champagne Bottle - Brut Single Dahlia - Posh - Single Champagne Bottle - Rose’ Single JIAN Playful Pibbles 18. Food Coma

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Bedroom dust bunny . clothing rack . colorful, dust bunny . sweet dreams . fur stool, dust bunny . overnight bag, dust bunny . sweet dreams . wingback bed . pg, dust bunny . olivia armoire . grey, dust bunny . love tarts, dust bunny . book pile, dust bunny . heart shaped side table dust bunny . round end table

dust bunny . folding fur chair Con & Dust Bunny . Gracie Living Room - Bag Clutter, Con & Dust Bunny . Gracie Living Room - Blanket Basket, +Half-Deer+ Faerye Rose Garland - FATPACK Draped, +Half-Deer+ Faerye Rose Garland - FATPACK Across, +Half-Deer+ Blanket Clutter - All Colors - Flat Big

+Half-Deer+ Spring Serenade - Flower Diary (Pink), Nutmeg. Countryside Dream Rug PG / 1, Ariskea[Coco] Peonies Vase Gold[1] Ariskea[Luvvs] Love heart JIAN Kissy Kitties, uK - Pamper Me Slippers Pink DISORDERLY. / Rosy Vintage / Books DISORDERLY. / Rosy Vintage / Papers ionic : Breakfast ionic : Strawberry & Mango Breakfast

Bathroom Astralia - Bathing beauty set (curtains) Granola. Florian Bathtub. White.

Granola. Florian Water Basin.

Granola. Florian Towel Plain.

Granola. Florian Lavender Towel. *LODE* Decor - Gladiolus Vase [white] *LODE* Decor - Matthiola [white duo color] *LODE* Decor - Philadelphus Vase *LODE* Decor - Anna Wall Lantern *LODE* Decor - Lily of the Valley *LODE* Decor - Wills Single Flower [white]

Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Towels V1 White (tinted) Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Bottle V1 Silver Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Bottle V2 Silver Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Tube White Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Tube Silver Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Towels V2 White Mossu - Clair Bathroom - Novel book .peaches. Juniper Bathroom Set - Empty Shelf Rustic .peaches. Juniper Bathroom Set - Empty Shelf Beach (tinted) 22769 - Champagne :LW: Champagne Glass

~BAZAR~Palace - Candlestick SILVER dust bunny . round end table dust bunny . hanging plants . ivy planter dust bunny . dreamy outing . blanket basket (tinted) ionic : Hanging candle lamp (silver) Fancy Decor: Crane Bath Mat Mutresse-Bath-Shortie Cats Serenity Style- Rothschild Bathroom Rug (tinted) Serenity Style- Rothschild Bathroom Chair (tinted) Nutmeg. Dacha Shower Necessities (tinted) Nutmeg. French Silver Framed Mirror [Merak] - Bath Salts ECLIPSE February 2020 | Page 109

the art perspect

written by electr

Each piece, ECLIPSE Magazine discovers, reviews and highlights the work of some of the most creative and talented artists on the grid, offering a fresh perspective in the vibrant and vast world of the arts.

For this month’s feature, we welcome Electric Monday with her debut piece on The Shui Mo gallery featuring Fiona Fei.

tive

ric monday.

Photograph by El

What an exciting time to be in Second Life. The art world has so much in store for us. Many creative, talented residents continue to push the boundaries with art in SL and that is just what I found when I visited The Shui Mo gallery owned by artist and creator, Fiona Fei (FionaFei Resident). When I first landed here, I realized that I was not at another gallery which hangs two-dimensional art, but a place in which an avatar can interact with the works, quite possibly my favorite type of art installation to visit!

Shui Mo, or 水墨, means ink wash in Chinese and her gallery aptly named so, is the current home to two exhibits, Reflections and RISING, an installation created for One Billion Rising. Fei first opened the gallery to the public on November 3, 2018 under the name Wo Men Dakai, which means “my door opens”. Today this meaning is still carried into the Shui Mo gallery because upon entering, you are placed in a long hallway where scrolls line the floor before you, with animated Chinese characters being drawn to spell out Wo Men Dakai.

As you walk down the scrolled hallway, take careful note of the sculptures on the walls to the left and right of you.

At first glance, you may think they are two-dimensional works, but as you get closer, you notice they are three dimensional and animated. These digital sculptures represent traditional Chinese paintings and are Fiona’s way

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to not only connect with her heritage but also to pay homage to the art and artists of her origin. These sculptures take on different views depending on the camera angle, which brings the viewer into the works especially if she wants to photograph the works, now the sculpture is captured in the way the viewer sees it, not just as Fiona’s created it.

Before you are two large red doors, simply click them to open, just as Fiona’s invitation has been spelled out by the scrolls, the doors open giving you passage to the main gallery space and into Fiona’s world! You’ll enter a beautiful black and white circular space containing the pieces of Fiona’s work from SL16B where she created an installation called Umbrella Landscape.

The objects let you interact with them, either animating you balancing on the handle of an umbrella or floating and flying above one! By design, Fiona uses these animations so that we, the visitors, become a part of the art. All around the eye sees the black of the ink wash and the white of the walls, and then out of the corner of your eye, a splash of bright color from a visitor’s clothing or hair. It truly feels as if you are a part of the work! While it may seem whimsical and spirited, the original installation was created for Second Life’s 16th birthday and was Fiona’s interpretation of the political turmoil that is going on in modernday China, particularly concerning the extradition bill that is proposed to the

Photograph by Fi

lectric Monday.

iona Fei.

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Photograph by E

Photogra

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Electric Monday.

aph by Fiona Fei.

people of Hong Kong. In Fiona’s words, “I hope for the viewer to see a Chinese landscape built from this population who are taking a stance on a divisive issue.

It is important to note that the artwork does not favor any side of the bill, but rather, it stands as an observational piece and symbolic view of the modern-day landscape of China.”

When in the center part of the gallery take note of the two doors up on the decking platforms. Each of these doors leads to two other installations of Fiona’s, one is called Rising, which was displayed at the 2019 One Billion Rising (ORB) exhibition in Second Life. Fiona has retrofitted her work so that it can remain in SL in her Shui Mo Gallery.

The other door leads to a work called Reflection.

When visiting Fiona’s Rising make sure that you have particles turned on, or you may miss out on the main action here! Fiona portrays the One Billion Rising movement in her work where hands are reaching out of the ground as a literal rising of people comes forth to represent the breaking free of any abuse, victimization, or violence. The particle people rising are avatar-sized so you as a visitor can again feel like you are a part of the work and can connect with movement. Fiona said, “It was important for me to allow the viewers to not just look but to experience the art by stepping into the installation itself.”

After visiting Rising, don’t forget to walk back across the exhibit to the room where Reflection is displayed.

Another ink wash painting that at first seems two dimensional, but when you walk deeper into the room, you appreciate the idea that the buildings, trees, bridges, and water scenes are all 3D! It’s a sculpture of grand scale, one in which a mere photo of it doesn’t give the perspective that is intended with the creation. Just as with her sculptures in the entry hall, a camera angle can change the viewpoint and thus the art is changed by how visitors view it. It’s such a stunning example of how Fiona wants to have the visitor be a part of her work! Do not be fooled, however, each of these objects is also a splendid ink wash painting all on their own, but when comprised together, the 3D work appears!

Fiona expressed that she wants to “give the viewers a completely immersive experience of being inside a painting.

It is my hope that the visitor would also interact with the different elements in the space so that they are a part of the artwork.” I found this rung true from the moment I landed at Shui Mo Gallery and I very much look forward to seeing her as at The Sim Quarterly’s Artist in Residence for her 3-month stay starting on March 1.

Visit the Shiu Mo Gallery.

Read more about Fiona Fei here.

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artist highlight

Written by tiffa

Artistry and creativity are at the foundation of everything we see and do in Second Life. The same is true for all we hear in Second Life. In showcasing residents and groups who embody the concept of “your world, your imagination,” Eclipse Magazine is honored to showcase Second Life’s amazing musical talent.

In this month’s “Artist Highlight,” we shine the spotlight on the incredibly talented live singer, Toxic Darkmatter.

any parkin.

All too often, we find it difficult to see our own potential and talent. Thankfully, others are there to push us and help us see what we are capable of when we can’t see it in ourselves. First in high school, and then after joining Second Life, this was the case for live performer Toxie Darkmatter.

Finding inspiration in a wide variety of songs and styles, Toxie struggled to believe she could perform beyond school choirs in real life. When she arrived in Second Life, that doubt in her own abilities continued. Despite this, others saw she had a gift. First, her music teacher in high school and later, friends in Second Life, pushed her to continue in her passion of singing. “I had a good friend here in SL who felt as though I was wasting time hanging out at the safe hubs doing nothing creative. They pushed me into singing at open mics and karaoke at The O Lounge,” Toxie recalls. Shortly after finding The O Lounge, she heard another performer, Taunter Goodnight, sing. From that moment on, Toxie was hooked with the idea of performing live.

With a sound that fans describe as “a mixture of soul and blues with an undertone of dirty sexiness, feminine power and a cheeky contagious giggle,” Toxie has a love of all genres of music. “My favorite, I think, would have to be blues. However, I sing it all...I sing blues, rock, ballads and LOVE the 80’s music as well,” she shared. She has even been known to throw in some country and contemporary rock on occasion. While most performers venture into different genres and sounds, Toxie’s unique style led one fan to say, “Toxie is a breath of fresh air in the music scene. Her voice resonates with the soul.”

Along with her regular sets, Toxie also does her best to give back to the Second Life community, something she recommends all performers in Second Life do. Along with supporting fellow artists to give back to the music scene, Toxie also gives her time and talent to many charitable events on the grid. She describes One Billion Rising, an annual global campaign which takes Page 122 | ECLIPSE February 2020

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place on Valentine’s Day to end rape and sexual violence against women, as one of her favorite charitable events. It was at OBR last year that she sang the most meaningful song to her, Rise Up by Andra Day. “It was just one of those moments. I was in tears by the end and many there said the same thing,” she recalled from last year’s event.

Having made her own mistakes when she started performing, Toxie has several words of advice for those hoping to have a music career in Second Life. Along with giving back to the community, she recommends, “Stay humble. Don’t let being a performer turn into a power trip. Be reliable and respectable. Do what you love to do and remember the music.” She also recommends getting to know your fan base. “You would do well to stay engaged with your audience. Talk to them. Listen to them.

Listen to their stories and celebrate their loves and accomplishments.” The last piece of advice is something Toxie excels at as she wastes no time in recognizing other performers, graphical artists and business owners, taking several minutes out of her sets to tell the crowd about her fellow resident’s achievements and introducing them to her fans.

Singing isn’t all that Toxie loves to do in Second Life. She has passion for all things creative.

“Building is a passion. So is decorating land, homes or creating a new and unique look for my avi.

Anything where I can use my imagination and be able to bring about the vision I have in my mind’s eye,” Toxie said. Toxie laughed as she shared with ECLIPSE about being a shop-a-holic. She joked that had she not pursued her passion for singing, she would have been a fashion blogger. “I also like to take photos. Basically anything creative feeds my soul.”

Most notably though, it’s her fellow residents in Second Life who feed her soul. As she stated, “People inspire me and so many don’t realize how they can be a muse for me when I am out and about.”

Click here for more information on Toxie.

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the world of rol

photography by minnie fae dethly. written by novale

leplay

eigh freng.

The Conquest of Elysium: Ascension is a new chapter in medieval fantasy roleplay in Second Life. Ascension continues to build upon the story laid out in the original Conquest of Elysium roleplay, which ran in Second Life from 2016 to 2018. ECLIPSE ran a feature on The Conquest of Elysium in 2017, but curious residents who weren’t able to join in the fun back then can find more information about it by visiting the website.

Much like its predecessor, Ascension seeks to be a different kind of roleplay on the grid – completely immersive, story-rich, and ever-evolving.

The creative force behind the fantastical backstory that built The Conquest of Elysium and its newest chapter is Second Life resident Caella Nitely.

“Ascension was my return to an unfinished story,” Caella told ECLIPSE Magazine. “I wanted to use my creativity and my developed skill as a builder to bring to the forefront an RP based in storytelling while keeping the ‘back to basics’ idea that I always strived for with Book I.” The story of Ascension jumps into the future, 250 to 300 years after the end of the first Conquest of Elysium roleplay. Magical creatures in existence from that time call the time before Ascension “The Great End” or “The Great Sinking.” Life has continued on since that point, and a new world is being built up around them, enriched through roleplay and sim-wide interactions that push the story forward and make it into something that goes beyond the single-player experience and the traditional meshing of individual storylines that is popular with other roleplays in Second Life.

Caella wanted the Ascension experience to bring storytelling to the forefront and design a roleplay that allowed players to build not only build their own characters, but be a true part of the bigger story.

“I think putting storytelling to the front, and less on disposable scenes and characters caters to a deeply invested niche of players who love and support the same creative ideas that I have,” said Caella.

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Ascension was a long time in the making. When the first chapter of The Conquest of Elysium closed its doors, Caella wanted to leave the storyline in such a way that it was possible to revisit it later. She dove into other aspects of Second Life for a time, and even participated in other roleplaying sims, but eventually decided that it was time to revisit The Conquest of Elysium and continue the story.

“I knew that the story was left unfinished […] and decided that ultimately, I wanted to go back to telling Elysium’s story. I took a long time building Book II as I wasn’t in a hurry.”

Caella is proud of Elysium not just because of what it is, but because it’s her “biggest flying solo project to date.” Caella wrote the story and built the world in which Ascension is based, but apart from being a member of the administration, she also actively participates in the roleplay as co-leader of the dragons, known as “Queen of the skies.” She credits her amazing administrative team, moderators, sim mentors, and of course other players not only for helping to keep the sim running, but for being amazing people and awesome roleplayers.

Elysium and Ascension weren’t built in a day. “I have had two amazing mentors,” said Caella.

“PrudenceAnton and Cian Wycliffe taught me building ins and outs the past for years, and they stood as my consulting points for the building of Book II with feedback and tips, while helping with all of the moving, placing, and adding that had to go on. Pru is the designer and builder of Page 132 | ECLIPSE February 2020

our Elven area, and she was assisted by her partner Cian, who touched and moved nearly every rock on the two sims.” Caella says the approach to building the sims was the idea of “use less to make more” which allowed for a massive space, complete with cities and kingdoms and collective areas, all geared towards making Ascension feel like a “complete realm.”

Players who experienced Elysium’s first chapter when The Conquest of Elysium roleplay was open from 2016 to 2018 will find a new and beautiful immersive environment.

Roleplayers who find themselves looking for a new medieval fantasy to sink their teeth into will also be able to appreciate the lengths to which Caella and her team have gone to make sure that Ascension is a whole new kind of roleplay experience. Ascension recently held a sim-wide mini event to indoctrinate players into its new world and help make the transition from The Conquest of Elysium to Ascension easier to understand.

This includes changes in the social hierarchy of its fantastical creatures among many other things.

“We’ve thrown the merfolk under the bus straight out of the gate in Book II,” Caella explained when detailing one of the major changes. “[We’re] blaming them for the entire sinking event that went down; their goddess is imprisoned by others in our pantheon.

In Ascension, they are at the bottom of the pyramid, where in Book I, they held a place of prestige and honor in being the oldest, being the first race to truly claim the aisles. We give our players a head’s up OOC-ly, but we think this has the foundation for a ECLIPSE February 2020 | Page 133

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really amazing organically grown storyline that could lead to their redemption and the freedom of their goddess.”

That’s right, everyone. Dragons, elves, and a mermaid underdog story, all wrapped up in a nice package at The Conquest of Elysium: Ascension. The sim has many different roles to play, and lots of things going on that not only enrich the environment but give players a wonderful opportunity to expand and grow with others and with the storyline itself.

Caella says players can expect great stories, interactive events and dungeons complete with monsters and boss fights, and overall, a welcoming environment. Ascension uses an easy-to-use non-metered dice HUD with a system loosely based on Dungeons and Dragons, and of course, a fully immersive paragraph roleplaying experience.

Interested in learning more but not sure where to start? A little intimidated by a medieval fantasy roleplay with an established history? Not sure how you could fit in? Fear not! Caella and her wonderful team have you covered there, too. If you couldn’t attend the recent sim-wide event, there are plenty of other ways to help prepare yourself for life at The Conquest of Elysium: Ascension and get yourself familiar with how things work. The administration team encourages interested players to join the roleplay’s OOC group.

There is also a wealth of information about the storyline and the roleplay available on the website, and people willing to help anyone who needs it. Ascension is an adult sim, and while it may not be a necessarily familyfriendly roleplay environment, there’s things to explore and something to do for just about everyone.

Teleport to The Conquest of Elysium: Ascension. Visit the website or Flickr Group.

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PLACES TO GO

photography by taylor wassep. written by tayl

lor wassep.

As much as Second Life™ has to offer its residents, sometimes you can feel a little bored. Thanks to a slew of amazingly talented creators there are spaces intended to immerse and entertain you for hours. But don’t worry, I will give you all the details on some places you might want to check out.

Maybe you can have a night out with some friends or of family. So, grab a snack and enjoy a guide to free yourself from boredom.

If music tickles your fancy, why not check out Lutz City. This forest oasis, deep in Templemore City offers an eclectic, shabby chic space that creates an atmosphere of romance and a night of entertainment.

Every two weeks, this overgrown city has live music at their venue, creating a whimsical night for you and yours as the night continues on.

If an evening of dancing and celebration isn’t your thing. Maybe you might be interested in mystery and murder (dah, dah, dahhhhhhhh) Once again, the brilliant minds behind Madpea’s many successful adventure games have come up with a whodunnit mystery game. Nightmare in New Orleans is an original mystery game that involves puzzles and combat. Set in the 1950’s, you play as the sibling of a private detective who has gone missing while working in The Big Easy.

Distraught over your sibling being missing, you travel to New Orleans to figure out what has happened.

Madpea has rated this original game as moderate, due to some scary and frightening moments throughout the game.

Like many of their other games, there will be a HUD system that you will need to wear to participate in Nightmare in New Orleans.

With achievements and prizes galore, this might be the thing to do with your friends or family. But make sure you don’t wait too long, this game won’t be around forever.

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Now, maybe dancing or puzzles may not be your cup of tea.

But you know what most everyone loves? Racing. Why not check out Racers Island Raceway! It uses a hub of sorts with over twenty-three different raceways and forms of racing.

Every type of racing is possible here, from locations that would give off those Indy 500 vibes all the way to kiddy gokarts – and everything in between.

Demo cars are available if you just forgot to bring your race car, as we all have done. If you did remember it this time, mostly all cars and vehicles are welcome to the Racers Island Raceways. Maybe if you are good enough; you could join their league that will be starting up soon. Can you picture yourself in the winner’s circle? If you can, or if any of your friends can, you better race right over to Racers Island.

This is for those groups of friends or individuals who enjoy a more aquatic activity to partake in. The [d.p surfco] Ash Falls sim presents a lovely, scenic location for those who like getting wet. Comprised of several small islands adorned with quaint shakes. This shabby styled beach is a perfect place for the adventurous surfer to call home. A constant bombardment of waves creates a tranquil soundscape to further immerse yourself into Ash Falls.

Lastly, going full circle in a sense, clubbing has been a large part of culture of Second Life. Clubs of all sorts can be found scattered across the virtual landscape. One club that mixes DJs, dancing, fashion and fun is Exhale Dance Club. This techno-fusion dance club has an expansive dance floor so you and your group will have plenty of space to dance the night away.

Furthermore, Exhale offers a secluded lounge section that overlooks the main dance floor. So when you might need a breather, you could retreat for a rest there. Or, if partaking in beverages is your thing, the bar is on the opposite side of the club. Exhale is decorated to give that true feeling of what you might see ata nightclub in real life.

Whether you and your group enjoy a simple day trip to the beach, at the races or galavanting about looking for a missing person, be sure to just have fun. Enjoy the moments you have with each other and create those memories so that you can look back and see the crazy adventures you had with a bunch of your favorite people.

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Voices from the g

Voices From the Grid is a monthly survey of opinions and ideas of Second Life® residents on the salient issues of the day.

For this issue, ECLIPSE Magazine we asked residents to share “Tell us your Second Life Love Story. It can be happy or sad.

Just tell us about love in Second Life.”

grid

Photograph provided by Brittainy Collins.

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brittainy collins

B

rittainy Collins joined Second Life in August of 2007. Since joining our world she has continued to evolve creatively. By learning how to expand upon what SL gives her with in-world tools, she brings the stories and images she sees within her mind and shares them with all. Her creativity can be sampled by visiting her Flickr and her blog. She can be seen to dance at Elysium Cabaret, which makes its home at The Empire Room. They perform every Friday Night at 6 pm SLT. She also can be seen as a member of the Mynx Dance Troupe, the Laughing Hearts Dance Troupe, The Outsiders, and dances for Dance Queens. For her, this has been and continues to be the love of her Second Life.

When I came to Second Life in August of 2007, I truly had no expectations. I thought it was all about shopping. I quickly discovered the newly blossoming modeling community through Frolic Mills. After talking to him one afternoon he asked “Britt why are you doing this. What is it you’re truly looking for in Second Life?” He set me to thinking. “What exactly was I doing in Second Life?” I mean, though I loved the fashion world, it was not my passion, to be frank… Being creative was, but was I truly meant to be a model? My Life in modeling for Boulevard would lead to writing/journalism with BOSL and eventually bring about an introduction to Anastacia Markova, who was the owner of Opium.

Interestingly enough, working for Ana is what gifted me my opportunity to dance. Ana is the most creative genius I have ever had the pleasure of coming across. She has the ability to see things and see into people. She saw in me the passion for dance, even though it was still young, Ana took this and asked me to choreograph our Halloween Extravaganza. This was my first attempt outside of Cheerleading for the SFL/VFL I had never done choreography. I knew, even in 2012, that I had found my love. From that point on there was no turning back for me. I have been determined to blend everything I have learned from Frolic and Ana into my love of dance.

But, this is not so much about me and dance as it is a romance in which my love for dance drew a gamer (Alterex117 Resident aka Hellrider) from WoW into SL and entranced him enough that he stayed here to be with me, and eventually, became a choreographer/dancer himself. Let me tell you how it all began two years ago in World of Warcraft. I had always loved gaming. Being able to take breaks from Second Life and run around anonymously, raiding, hunting, and questing gives me a sense of freedom that, honestly you don’t find here in Second Life. In Second Life you pour so much of yourself, without physically being able to being present that you might as well be there. In a game like World of Warcraft it is the opposite. It is very much the mindset of “Why so serious.” Well except for those hardcore gamers of which I am not one. I mean let’s be honest… I can’t go on a raid without getting lost; and that is how Rider and I met.

[Click here to continue story]

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Photograph provided by Chibi & Shucream

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Chibi & shucream

C

hibi & shucream Core Delicioso [Twilight Lefevre & shucream Portal] answered this month’s question as a couple. In 2008, Chibi learned about Second Life through a friend she met in online roleplaying forums and eleven years later, she’s still here! What started off as a new world for roleplay quickly turned into a place to learn new things and make new friends from all over. Through the years, Chibi has experienced many things and people within Second Life and has made lifelong friends in the process. Recently, with her partner Shu, she has picked up blogging and learning every day to get better with capturing and editing their photos. Art and photography have always been a big part of Chibi’s life and blogging has given her another platform to practice and share her love for it.

Shucream started Second Life in 2009 to learn Spanish for undergraduate studies.

However, he found that the game itself had a lot of social aspects that he enjoyed.

He liked the fact that users could interact with anyone in the world. Fashion was also one of the aspects that drew shucream to the game, and he enjoyed customizing his avatar with different types of clothes and skins. In combination with his partner in crime Chibi, he has recently started a Flickr blog that focuses on couple’s fashion. The blog entails casual similar looks with poses that have a light and/or heartwarming story. He hopes that one day the Flickr page reaches the hearts of many in the Second Life to show Chibi and shucream’s unique style of fashion.

Chibi and I first met on August 14th at a game night among friends. I (shucream) remember spotting a girl (Chibi) that was shorter than others, but I was attracted to her at first sight. So, I mustered up the courage and IMed her with all caps, “HI.” She responded back with all caps, “HI” and that’s when she had me. I still wanted to feel playful and kept on talking to her in all caps. We really connected right on the spot and started to talk about our real lives such as where we live and what we do. Chibi was involved in the art field and I was involved in the science field.

I was intrigued by her artistic nature and her warm heart. I felt connected with her and felt like it was just us two even when we were hanging out with other people. So for the next three days, we were hanging out more often and her SL house was the go-to hangout spot. We weren’t really “official”, but were at the phase of getting to know each other.

Sunday, August 18th was the pivotal day in our relationship. I was coming back from a real-life wedding, and a little bit tipsy. The combination of liquid courage helped me realize that tonight (Sunday 2 AM) was the night to ask her about making things official with her. So we gathered at our usual spot and talked like usual. At one instant, I started out with a, “soooo……... “ and pushed her to the corner and playfully interrogated her on what our relationship status was. Chibi answered with the standard, “I doooon’t knooooow” and that was when I pushed her further into the corner and confessed my love to her. I wanted to be more than friends, and I was set on starting our relationship together.

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Photograph provided by Cari Orfan.

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cari orfan

C

ari Orfan [Carisa Franizzi] is an 11+ year veteran of Second Life. She touts herself as the oldest noobie. She absolutely loves being married, loves to shop, and take images. But even after eleven years, she still doesn’t know many tricks of SL sliders.

My Second Life love story started about three years ago. I didn’t know it at the time. There I was, (noobie) hoping someone would ask me to dance.

I was about to leave, it had been almost an hour when a fairly handsome male avatar (albeit not mesh) hit up my IM box. We chatted. He was very charming and quite funny. At one point he asked me if I had Flickr. I said “no”. He said, “Well, your profile pic is great, you should try taking some pictures and posting them on Flickr”. (not really a quote, but close enough). Sorry, Twain.

I became friends with Twain, had a crush on him, but a relationship never really came to fruition. So, a few years go by. Boyfriend and girlfriends pass through our lives. One day in a message, Twain offers me advice, suggesting I to go Franks Elite, He said, ”It’s better” and I might meet someone. So...one Friday night, I get gussied up and head over to Franks.

I’m standing there. Cause you know, that’s what you do. I started to dance. After about ten minutes, I thought…this blows I’m outta here. I saw Twain out of the corner of my eye, but he was dancing with someone, so I thought….I guess I’ll go. Next thing I know Twain is approaching. My heart starts racing. He asks me to dance. We talked and laughed and danced and we’ve been doing that ever since. Twain and I fell quickly in love, partnered, and married.

He is everything to me and in SL years, we’ve been together, oh…about six years.

I know that seems longer than from the point I met him. But that’s the way love goes in Second Life!

Check out her Flickr.

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Photograph by Bia Keng Fenwitch.

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BIA KENG FENWITCH

B

ia Keng Fenwitch [Biatch Fenwitch] joined SL in 2009. She has an older account on which she came, saw, and conquered Bloodlines Vampire.

She then created Bia, continued with Bloodlines, but also found interest in making pictures. She became recently a blogger for many sponsors.

I took a break from SL in 2014 and came back in 2018. In October 2018, I met my SL husband and even though we don’t see each other as much as in the beginning, we are still always excited to see each other. We got married 01/19/2019 and are still very happy, Check out her Flickr.

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Photograph provided by Elara Fremont.

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elara fremont

E

lara Fremont [Razi Constantine] has been a steadfast friend to all she meets since her birth in 2008. This kind nature has taken her all over the SL grid and in doing so has opened her up to interests in photography, landscaping, and interior design, among other things. These days she can be found landscaping her current 8192 square meter parcel, which is her first open to visit and wander, so one can see her abilities and experience some unique photo opportunities. It is her hope that this new endeavor brings in visitors, spreads the word, and leads to bigger opportunities and a chance to learn new skills.

I love to explore Second Life. The builds here are some of the most amazing things Second Life has to offer. Well, while I was on one of my adventures, I came across a family with the mother, father, and laughter. We started talking some and they sent me landmarks to other places around Second Life they enjoyed.

After a glance at the daughter’s bio, I noticed she liked to take photographs as well. We started talking right off the bat. Some time goes by and I asked the daughter on a date. She loves the beach and surfing, So, that’s where we started.

It went off the ground from there. The next date was “Two Fish” an art installation from Rose Borchovsk. That was most likely what really got us to take off.

We became attached at the hip and loved every moment of it. We shopped together, built and landscaped together. She always said it wasn’t her thing but it never failed she would be next to me. As time went on I asked her to marry me!

We had an amazing fall wedding. It was truly mind-blowing. I got the chance to give her the wedding she wanted and she gave me the chance to let my creativity flow. We said our vows, shared in the tears of joy with one another and our now meshed family. She truly was a breathtaking bride. We loved so deeply not even words or music could cover the depths of emotions. We spoke in Second Life, texted all the time and it was so refreshing to feel so much attraction and love.

Soon after the wedding, we brought two little girls into our life. Lavinia and Zafrina. After that my real life started to take me away more and more. New Years comes around and we celebrate with her family. All of us had a great time. We tell one another we can’t wait what this year brings and that’s where it ends. A few days later, she ends it because I’m not here enough to give her the attention she needs.

I never said it was a good love story but it was my first and real love ever in twelve years that I found here in Second Life.

Check out her Flickr.

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Photograph provided by Jinx Dwyer-Applewhyte.

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jinx dwyer-applewhyte

J

inx Dwyer-Applewhyte joined Second life a little more than ten years ago.

Jumping right into roleplay and getting lost in the world of faeries and elven Kings. She wandered away from roleplay after finding Second life Football.

First a cheerleader and then a player and finally co-owner of two teams. The sport soon died out but Jinx had a strong family base to keep her here. She enjoys photography and sim exploration.

Never did I ever think all of this would come out of one Facebook message. I honestly had no ulterior motive when I messaged Dash Bloodmoon that day back in July of 2019. I had been following his positive posts and had just wanted to let him know that it had a positive impact on me. I tease him all the time that had I let him lead the conversation, we would not be where we were today. He left my message on read for several hours and I started to worry, but he was at work and busy. Once we started talking the conversation never stopped. The only quiet times were when we were sleeping.

He was a tough nut to crack. His walls were very high. Took me a lot of persuasion to get him to meet me in world. And when we finally did, I got so nervous I left after like 5 minutes. But I must have made an impression on him, because soon we were hanging out every second we could.

Our first date was 2 weeks after we met, I took the leap and asked him to go out with me for his Birthday. A romantic dinner reservation and dancing. A month and a half after our first conversation, Dash planned this romantic scavenger hunt. At each spot he wrote a note explaining everything he liked about us. At the end he was there holding flowers and a balloon and he asked me to be his one and only. It was so cute and romantic. But he is always doing these sweet things that make me feel so special.

We have grown so much in our relationship, from our first conversation, to adopting two little girls together making me a Momma of now three beautiful daughters. A family based on love and friendship, a tight bond that we cherish very much.

Since we had learned early on that we lived very close to each other, the next obvious step was meeting face to face. Dash just kinda blurted it out one day.

He had a really great afternoon and was excitedly talking and was just kinda like “Hey you wanna be my Valentine and go on a real date with me?� To say I was a little shocked is an understatement. I knew it was inevitable that it would happen, but I guess it caught me off guard. I was scared, excited and overwhelmed all in one emotion.

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Photograph provided by Melly Clarrington.

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melly clarrington

M

elly joined Second Life nearly 12 years ago. She has done many different things in SL to try to find her niche. It wasn’t until she realized she could combine two of her favorite things (shopping and photography) that she would finally have the most fun in world. She loves setting up full scenes, whether it is for a fashion shot or home decor and showcasing the incredible talent of designers and creators across the grid. In 2009, she met Austin, one of those times when you least expect to find someone, fell in love and the rest is history.

They say when you aren’t looking for love, love finds you. I don’t know if that is true for everyone, but it is definitely true for our love story. Not everyone has a happy ending when it comes to Second Life, but that’s why I wanted to take this opportunity to share ours... maybe it’ll inspire others. Who knows. I was not in a good place when I met Austin, it was a bad time in my RL and I was all over the place. He brought a calm to my world that I didn’t think was possible. I also made it pretty clear, I didn’t want in a relationship. He broke down those walls, not intentionally, but the more we hung out, the more we got to know each other, we couldn’t help but be drawn to each other. And I had to give up my thought of “no Second Life relationships.” he was different.

In May 2009, we made it official and began dating each other. In July of 2009, we had our SL wedding. Surrounded by (then) family and friends, we made our SL love official. It was a beautiful ceremony. You know, back before all this cool mesh stuff. I had a flexi dress on that practically ate Austin’s lower half of his body when we took pictures. When I look back, yes the dress was gorgeous but LOL it was a little insane. But it didn’t matter, we were happy and that is what was important. Honestly, we spent every waking hour we could, together. He had a job and so did I but we often texted while we couldn’t be together on the computer. That’s when I knew this was more than just a computer relationship... which was absolutely terrifying, but felt right at the same time. He was different.

In August of 2009, he made a comment about how he’d like to be together in RL and I dared him to move. He promptly got up from his desk and began packing.

I had to call him on his phone to get him to answer me. He was serious. He moved. He moved to be with me. Here we are, 11 years later, we have been married in RL for almost 8 years, we have two beautiful children, a dog and a cat.

A brand new house and love that can fill the world.

Check out her Flickr, Facebook and Instagram.

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Photography provided by Rocky.

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R

ocky [RockBlossom] started her journey on SL back in 2016 with a RL friend.

After a few months of exploration, she decided that blogging was her passion.

Since that moment she has honed her photography skills in world and represented many of the grid’s greatest brands and events. She’s been so inspired by the amazing creators she’s met along her journey that she is taking up learning how to mesh. While she still enjoys spending time with friends, decorating and plenty of shopping, her calling will always be to capture moments in this vast virtual space.

A Love Story can mean so many different things. I have made friendships that are so true and dear to me, people that I trust with my whole life; some love stories are that of family, those that you choose here on the grid that become members of your tribe; and then, of course, there are the love stories that keep us up late at night, full of romance, butterflies and endless hope. The one I’d like to share with you today encompasses all three.

rocky

I met him through his photographs, as people often do on here. I admired his work and truthfully, I had aspirations of becoming a blogger, so I had to know his secrets. I messaged him with a plot to befriend him and find out how he makes his avatar look so real! I must have said something convincing because he took me under his wing and taught me everything I know today. I will tell you it wasn’t an easy task because I am extremely stubborn, but thankfully he enjoys a challenge and that’s how this whole thing started. At first, we had boundaries and our lessons were all about the work at hand, but that quickly fell apart after realizing the connection we had. Over time he became my confidant, my mentor, sometimes my mortal enemy, my best-friend and eventually my family.

Throughout the years we have encountered many obstacles, we’ve dealt with the typical hardships of online relationships, not enough time together, distance, time zones and the insecurities that come with it all. We’ve faced everything from differences in relationship styles, culture, we’ve both suffered traffic accidents, career changes/losses/successes, busy RL seasons with our close knit families, struggles with our personal goals and sadly even death. Through all of this there is one thing that persevered and that is unconditional love like I’ve never known to exist.

If you told me 4 years ago that I would finally know the patience, consistency and selflessness it takes to love someone this way because of SL, because of him, I may have thought twice about logging on that day. I may have had doubts about SL all together. There is an unspoken agreement I feel amongst my fellow SL Residents, that its something that cannot be explained to those who have not yet experienced it like we have; and it fully has something to do with these inexplicable bonds we create with each other. I don’t consider this just my “SL Love Story,” not really. He has made up so much of who I am today, he taught me to love myself and in turn I may have become a sort of muse in his works. We’ve inspired each other to be better people, not for each other, but for ourselves.

Through this we learned that we each have so much to do still, separately.

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Photograph provided by Caitlin Mirabella.

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caitlin mirabella

C

aitlin Mirabella is an established blogger and photographer, with 8 years of experience and stories under her belt. She is currently a part of the management team for FMD, assisting with sponsorships and coordinating with the LGBT+ communities in Second Life.

In my nearly 11 years of being in Second Life, I have had three great loves of my virtual life. All three of them ended on sad notes, in varying degrees... but the one I want to talk about in this post is the man I thought I was going to give up everything in my RL for and live with.

In 2010 I worked for a strip club(now closed, like most of the great ones back in the day), and one night I was paged to come and entertain a man if I was available off-hours. I was bored and decided to give it a go...it was quick and easy money, just a generic lap dance. Or so I thought...

I ended up spending most of my night with this man, a lonely soul who wanted someone to talk to. A man going through a divorce, a wife who left him for someone in SL. Out of the blue, just moved away from him to this person. I took pity on him at some point and logged out of my tip jar and spent the rest of the night just talking to him and making conversation, and when he left I didn’t expect to hear from him again. He didn’t ask to be my friend, didn’t take a landmark, nothing at all.

He came back. Every night I was there, he ended up being there. HE would talk to the other women there, but he always seemed to be focused on me. The attention was wonderful and I soaked it up eagerly. This continued for weeks at a time, until one day he just disappeared...right as I was starting to fall for him.

He came back eventually, and I remember getting a text from my SL sister on my way home from work, telling me that he logged in...and I almost crashed my car because I was floored and so happy. When I finally got to speak to him again, he ended up asking me out.

We met in RL for the first time less than six months later. He was the very first person I ever crossed SL/RL lines for. Before him, I was the one who would scoff at RL and SL mixing, I never believed it could happen. And then it happened to me, and I loved every moment of it. Except... We went four years without ever arguing. EVER. All of my friends and family suddenly were his too, and he didn’t have any friends when we first met. Little things he would tell me about his RL situation didn’t make sense. He lied to me about his age and didn’t really catfish me when we met, but he used a younger looking picture. I didn’t put it together at the time, partially because love makes me incredibly blind and stupid. So I just pushed all those bad things to the side.

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Photograph provided by Caitlin Mirabella.

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luna bella

L

una Bella [oxlunabellaxo] joined SL in Dec 2018 in search of an escape from reality. Luna loves to decorate and redesign houses in second life, but her favorite activity is taking photos for her Flickr Page.

In my nearly 11 years of being in Second Life, I have had three great loves of my virtual life. All three of them ended on sad notes, in varying degrees... but the one I want to talk about in this post is the man I thought I was going to give up everything in my RL for and live with.

My love story in SL is rather cute I think. I had been on SL only a couple of weeks and I was really at my wits end with it. Everyone I ran across kept accusing me of being an ALT with how quickly I dove into the SL world. One day I was sitting on a surfboard at Menker Beach trying to figure out how to take a high quality photo and all of a sudden this really great looking avi comes speeding at me on a jet ski. It was this handsome lad named Marley [Chrisdub1]. Marley had created his avatar just a few months before me. We instantly clicked, our days seemed to revolve around exploring the SL world together. Then one day I had a bright idea to get a skybox and off we dove into the SL world together. Marley and I spend our days decorating our houses and taking photos of us. Being in two different countries with the Atlantic Ocean between us has its challenges but SL has been a place we can come to when we just need a cuddle. When I joined SL the last thing I expected was to find someone I connected with on a different level. We connected on a personal level before we had ever seen each other. I look forward to seeing where the crazy world of SL takes us next :) Check out her Flickr.

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[Cont. from page157]

What will the future hold? Neither of us knows, but both of us is excited to know.

Rider was one of the guild leaders of a guild I was See you out in the dance world! invited to join. He is very comical, very laid back and charismatic. A gamer through and through, Check out her Flickr and Blog. but not one who takes himself serious at all…

[Cont. from page 159] He and I took to each other and the joke came about that Britt got lost again; he would pipe up “I will go find her.” He would laugh and tell Fortunately, Chibi did say yes, and I felt ecstatic. you stories about how I was constantly trying The idea of having someone that will be on my to get him killed in one situation or another. I side made me happy, and was excited for the would go “Psh you deserved it!” This leads to future that we had for each other. Because of many days and nights where Hell and I found this incident, pushing Chibi became a sign of we enjoyed spending time together in various endearment, and I would constantly push Chibi around to show my affection towards her. games such as WoW, SWtoR, and Diablo3 and eventually he inquired about Second Life and Fast forward to February 2020, and a lot has what I did there. happened between me and Chibi. I have pushed I told him all about it and showed him videos of her about 100,000,000 million meters and still various performances as I knew he was a music going. We became official SL partners after three nut. He looked over my Flickr and became months into the relationship and still maintain intrigued. He had never seen such a world of a strong love for each other. More importantly, possibilities and wanted to explore this with we have both experienced highs and lows in our me. As he was already a scripter and understood relationship. Each of us became the shoulder to how things worked in games I had no fear that cry on and the person to celebrate with when he would not figure things out fairly quickly, something good was happening in our lives. and sure enough within a week, our noob could We both strive to bring out the best in each not tolerate the way he looked. He reworked other and try to improve each other not just in himself and poof he looked like he had been Second Life, but also in real life. Recently, we are lucky to have the joy of starting a family of our here for years. own and expanding our family circle. Without I love seeing things through his eyes because he Chibi, I would have never experienced true love, has made so much of this new for me. He loves and I am always grateful for her existence. I am to explore things that I have never done such thankful for all the random coincidences that as scuba dive, surfing, and fishing and go for lead us to cross paths, giving me an opportunity long bike rides on the MC tracks with me on the to get to know this beautiful person known as Chibi Delicioso. back of his bike… We still go into WoW and the other games as our own personal escape. When Check out his Flickr. he chose to do his first choreography to Chris Stapleton’s Tennessee Whiskey as a dedication [Cont. from page 167] to me I cried. Afterwards he told me he loved me and asked me to partner him. It’s been over ten years since I had agreed to partner someone Meeting is a big step. It is one thing to be in Second Life. This man understands me as no attracted to someone’s personality and their voice. It is a whole other to be the same face one else I have ever met in SL ever has. to face. I spent an entire week freaking out. But Two people who met in WoW and fell in love then I was like. I love this man, and I wanna hug over many virtual spaces… It’s been two years. him for real. So I asked him to meet up earlier and he agreed.

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We picked a location that is halfway for both of us and I researched a good breakfast place because Dash loves breakfast. I wanted to be there first so I could sit there and have a mini panic attack before he got there. I saw his car pass behind me so I knew he was there. I was looking for him to walk behind me , but I saw him from the corner of my eye in front of my car. He had this huge grin on his face holding a huge bouquet of Daisies. And then....I kinda just blacked out. I don’t remember him walking to my car door or anything. I just remember the door opening and he kissed me. it didn’t seem like a stranger kissing me. It felt like home. He pulled away and then said “Hi. I love you.” It was so cute that I just kinda hid my face and burst into tears.

We have not missed a weekend yet since our initial meeting. I have finally found someone that makes me feel like I am important. This coming Valentine’s day we will be celebrating 6 months together, and making plans to spend the rest of our months together. Always♥

[Cont. from page 173] We continued to meet in RL every other weekend, just to get away and enjoy each others’ company. He would take me shopping, I would take him sightseeing around the areas I lived in, and we would talk about surface things, and he would shy away from opening up to me about his RL problems. My first and only SL marriage was to him. I adopted kids and we lived a sort of white picket fence kind of life. It was everything I thought I wanted. Except it wasn’t. He never ever was interested in nurturing my submissive side, and that part of me just wilted and almost died. He knew a lot more about me than I ever knew about him, and I always thought it was just because he was so quiet and just wanted to listen to the things I would say.

In December of 2014 I ran into some trouble with my family and ended up needing to move away.

Up until the day before I was set to move with him, I was under the impression that we would be moving in together, and that things were going to be okay. Until he stopped contacting [Cont. from page 171] me. Until he just...completely disappeared from my life and the lives of all of our friends and While we are not a traditional couple, I don’t family. believe there is a true ending to our story because real love doesn’t ever end. This is the I knew he was still alive, because I called into his part where he compares it to the waves of an RL work and was told that he was there... but had ocean that comes and goes, the ebb and flow. reconciled with his RL wife and that it would be No end. There’s just a different path than the best if I never called his job again. I was floored, one we’d once hoped. We’ve collaborated on and for months on end I was heartbroken. a major scale, which I am so excited to say may become an amazing production due The lies he spun to me are still some of the to his sheer motivation and ambition. And I reasons I am absolutely terrified to open my RL sincerely cannot wait for this. As for me, I’m well heart again to someone in SL, What if they hurt on my way to achieving things I never could me the way he did? What if they hurt me worse? without his constant unwavering support and How can I trust anything anyone says to me? encouragement. I am happy. Though this may not be the correct timeline or dimension for our I’ve paraphrased this, and I hope it makes sense... love story to unfold as we wish, I know that I will because it’s a wound that just won’t ever go always have him, and he will always have me. away. I’ve healed, but the scar is there. I’ll never I couldn’t ask this pixel universe for anything forget him. And I wish I could. more.

Check out her Facebook, Blog and Flickr.

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THE wayfarer...

photography by temp

“The Wayfarer” is a monthly feature showcasing some of the most aesthetic places in Second Life®.

With an unceremonious thud, the Wayfarer clumsily arrived at The Cold Rose Estate. One would think that with all the journeys he had embarked upon, his landing would be far more perfected. Alas, these are the thoughts that trickled upon his mind, as he gazed upon the rustic landscape. His footsteps tread carefully upon the packed dirt, while the cool air teased upon his skin. The ebb and flow of the tide was low, but even then it was beautiful in it’s simplicity. This place reminded him of a time when beauty once meant something.

Immerse yourself in The Cold Rose Estate.

est rosca.

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