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Horrorscopes! Seth Barnes ......................................................................pages
Seth Barnes is back and better than ever. This week he ponders the orb to find tales of floating cubes and spaghetti
Pisces
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WAAPA rat will approach you this week with good news. He may be damp from the sewers, but he’s trustworthy.
Cancer
The neighbourhood cumquat tree will bring great blessings. Sniff the sweet air and take a nibble.
Sagittarius
Beware of the dusty jelly cup. Blue and enticing, but well past its expiration date.
Aquarius
Teeth?
Aries
The floating cube in the sky invites you to wail in harmony with its brethren. “AHHHHHHHHH”, they say.
Scorpio
You may say to yourself, “I will NOT get inked on again”, and promptly get inked on, but that’s SHOW BUSINESS, BAYBEE!
Libra
Oh? Love is in the air, and so is the floating cube. They’re... probably unrelated.
Capricorn
It appears that you may have forgotten to give your chair a haircut. Freshen him up and try to rekindle your relationship.
Taurus
The Birra Bar’s nipple wall will whisper secrets to you on Tuesday at 11:30am that will cause your third eye to open. This is unavoidable. Be prepared.
Virgo
I sense that cold and congealed spaghetti sauce is in your near future. Yummy scrummy.
Leo
Soft launching your neck pimple “Kevin” on Instagram is a good idea this month.
Gemini
Your dumpy may be great, but so is your responsibility. Warn your friends or you might just knock over their prized antique vase.
Image Graphics Created by Izzy French