Horrorscopes! Seth Barnes ......................................................................pages

Seth Barnes is back and better than ever. This week he ponders the orb to find tales of floating cubes and spaghetti

Pisces

WAAPA rat will approach you this week with good news. He may be damp from the sewers, but he’s trustworthy.

Cancer

The neighbourhood cumquat tree will bring great blessings. Sniff the sweet air and take a nibble.

Sagittarius

Beware of the dusty jelly cup. Blue and enticing, but well past its expiration date.

Aquarius

Teeth?

Aries

The floating cube in the sky invites you to wail in harmony with its brethren. “AHHHHHHHHH”, they say.

Scorpio

You may say to yourself, “I will NOT get inked on again”, and promptly get inked on, but that’s SHOW BUSINESS, BAYBEE!

Libra

Oh? Love is in the air, and so is the floating cube. They’re... probably unrelated.

Capricorn

It appears that you may have forgotten to give your chair a haircut. Freshen him up and try to rekindle your relationship.

Taurus

The Birra Bar’s nipple wall will whisper secrets to you on Tuesday at 11:30am that will cause your third eye to open. This is unavoidable. Be prepared.

Virgo

I sense that cold and congealed spaghetti sauce is in your near future. Yummy scrummy.

Leo

Soft launching your neck pimple “Kevin” on Instagram is a good idea this month.

Gemini

Your dumpy may be great, but so is your responsibility. Warn your friends or you might just knock over their prized antique vase.

Image Graphics Created by Izzy French