Body Language: Cultural Conversations Reaching Out and Reaching In

Body Language: Cultural Conversations Reaching Out and Reaching In

Acknowledgements This book is dedicated to those who dedicate their lives to young people. Without educators and counselors like Judi Kur, Lisa Harpster, Gloria Libkin, and Susan Marshall Brindle, the front lines of our school systems would have buckled long ago. To the unsung educational heroes everywhere, Thank You. Many thanks to our counselor and friend, Jess Weiner, who has so much to say, so much to give, and so much to add to this conversation.

And to my friend, editor, and publisher, Penny Eifrig, the biggest thanks of all.

Susan

Body Language: Cultural Conversations Reaching Out and Reaching In

by

Susan B. Russell, PhD in Collaboration with Susan Marshall Brindle, M.Ed, Lisa Harpster, M.Ed, Judi Kur, M.Ed, and Gloria Libkin, M.Ed

Lemont

Berlin

Š 2010 by Susan B. Russell Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. This publication is protected by Copyright, and permission should be obtained from the publisher prior to any prohibited reproduction, storage in a retrieval system, or transmission in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or likewise.

Published by Eifrig Publishing, LLC PO Box 66, 701 Berry Street, Lemont, PA 16851.

Knobelsdorffstr. 44, 14059 Berlin, Germany For information regarding permission, write to: Rights and Permissions Department, Eifrig Publishing, LLC PO Box 66, 701 Berry Street, Lemont, PA 16851, USA. permissions@eifrigpublishing.com, 888-340-6543.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Russell, Susan B., Body Language: / written by Susan B. Russell, in Collaboration with Susan Marshall Brindle, Lisa Harpster, Judi Kur, and Gloria Libkin p. cm.

Includes student monologues, curriculum guide, and DVD Paperback: ISBN 978-1-936172-31-3 1. EDUCATION: Guidance. 2. JUVENILE NON-FICTION: Self-Esteem.

3. Body Image. 4. Performance. 5. Educational Workshop.

I. Russell, Susan B. II. Title.

14 13 12 11 2010 5 4 3 2 1

Photographs courtesy of Sarah Kosar and Kristen Tunney.

Proceeds from this book will benefit Cultural Conversations and The Body Language Project Printed on acid-free paper. ∞

BODY LANGUAGE: Cultural Conversations Reaching Out and Reaching In CONTENTS

6

A Message from Jess Weiner 1. Mission Statement

8

2. Introduction

11

3. Body Language 2010: How-to Guide

12

Sample Schedule

Strategy and Method of Selection of Participants

Writing Guides

Avenues of Expression

Additional Projects

Acquiring Permission

Language and Message

Dropping a Stone in the Water: The Ripple Effect 4. Elementary School Level: Working with Pre-Teens

23

Initial Planning

5. Middle School Level: Working with Early Teens

31

7. High School Level: Working with International Students

55

8. Final Thoughts

70

9. A Night of Body Language: Student Monologues from Body Language 2010

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10. Resources and Terms

91

6. High School Level: Working with Young Women

43

A Message from Jess Weiner,

author, self-esteem expert, media personality, and Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund

I wish that today’s tween and teenage girls didn’t have to think about things like managing calories, courting popularity, or stressing over their body’s shape. I wish that today’s girls could instead focus on creating fun and lasting friendships, engaging in challenging academic studies, and fully embracing a wide range of dreams for their future. But today’s girls not only have to learn how to juggle tweeting and texting, they also have to endure an endless barrage of mixed messaging about their sexuality, shape, size, and beauty from magazines, celebrityobsessed tabloid media, and over-critical adults and peers who are all trapped in their own body image struggle (and may not 6

even know it). This constant pressure to be sexy, pretty, thin, and popular is causing extreme depression, eating disorders, and an overall apathy within the lives of our daughters, sisters, and best friends.

It’s not just American girls afflicted with this skewed perception of self. According to global research conducted by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund, 70 percent of girls worldwide refrain from engaging in normal everyday activities such as going to school, joining a club or activity, or even seeing a doctor all because they don’t like the way they look! That means the world is missing out on healthy, involved, and interested girls who grow up to be future leaders, fantastic mothers, and important thinkers for our world — all because low self-esteem and the pressure to be “perfect” has kept them from creating a more vibrant life.

All girls deserve to live a “360 life” — one that encourages them to become healthy in mind, body, spirit, and voice — one that encourages them to become more critical thinkers and full life explorers. While there may not be a quick fix to the pressures that our girls today face, there are many opportunities for us — as mothers, mentors, teachers, and leaders — to work with this audience and help them begin reframing the way they look at their bodies and the world around them. Together we can help our girls recognize the tremendous self-love and appreciation that comes with understanding that your worth is about being a whole person and not a number or physical attribute.

The Body Language curriculum is a powerful tool designed for schools and organizations of all sizes to help foster a more creative way for girls to approach to thinking about this harrowing topic. Let this curriculum be your guide to unlocking some powerful conversations with the girls you serve. I’ve seen firsthand how it can electrify a classroom and a community.

Jess Weiner, October 2010 7

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1.

A Mission Statement At its most relevant, a piece of theatre creates a conversation between an issue, a community of performers, and a community of citizens. At its most meaningful, a piece of theatre offers new perspectives on how diverse individuals process information and apply personal experiences to a life. At its most transformational, a piece of theatre offers an opportunity for collaboration between different people with different voices and opinions, and in the end, such a theatre piece can, indeed, create a new “playing field� for tolerance, appreciation, inspiration, and possibilities. Such is the intention of this ground-breaking project; such is the intention of Body Language. Body Language is a vital part of the Pennsylvania State University’s annual new works festival called Cultural Conversations.

Dr. Susan Russell is the creator and Artistic Director of this festival, and it is the goal of Cultural Conversations and its flagship program, Body Language, to create open dialogues about core issues we face as a community, a nation, and members of a global citizenry. Cultural Conversations is the only new works festival of its kind in the country, and every year the festival devotes one week to new visual arts, theatre, and dance pieces that explore different themes of local and global diversity.

Featuring the work of professional and student artists, this festival hosts gallery showings and ten performances of new plays and dance pieces. Fostering and promoting civic debate through performance, Cultural Conversation not only defines the power of art as a tool of personal and social development, 8

Mission Statement

it offers the Body Language projects as workable templates by which any education or community development program can use live theatre to engage a population of citizens in an open dialogue.

Body Language 2010 followed the theme of Cultural Conversations, which was “The Abled, Dis-Abled, and DisAppearing Body.” To meet the demands of the theme, Dr. Russell joined forces with author and inspirational speaker Jessica Weiner, middle and high school counselors Gloria Libkin and Susan Marshall Brindle, and elementary and high school teachers Lisa Harpster and Judi Kur to create a program where a community of young girls could come together to create strategies for tackling one of the most vital issues facing educators and parents today: female body image and self-esteem. In a world dominated by media and technology, the issues of self-worth, self-knowledge, and self-expression have become a touchstone for those writing about young women in today’s society. Constant exposure to media-driven definitions of “female” has given rise to a backlash of difficult and destructive behavior, and in the hopes of offering a new forum through which to “perform” issues and possibilities, Body Language seeks to use theatre techniques as avenues of personal and cultural exploration. Body Language 2010 devoted itself to one of the most valuable resources on the planet: a girl.

Body Language uses proven playwriting techniques and practices that promote both personal and cultural observations, and in a writing environment defined by a unified language of respect and empowerment, each student writer is given the opportunity to choose a topic based on age-appropriate inquiry. Each writer utilizes language under the keywords hope, community, healing, information, and protection, and 9

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through this empowering terminology, the writers articulate discussions of media, celebrity, self-worth, and selfperception, and make individual assessments of where the personal and the social intersect to create the “ideal woman.�

Meant to be hard-hitting and hopeful, Body Language seeks to open doors to personal potential and possibilities driven by individual skills. It is the hope of the project that all who are involved, writers, classmates, teachers, parents, and audience members will leave the classroom or theatre with ideas about how women can be empowered through self-knowledge and cultural awareness.

The local goal of this unique educational, cultural, and theatrical experience is to create a forum for discussion on specific body issues that affect virtually every aspect of a girl’s life from elementary to high school and beyond. The global goal of this experience is to create an active and applicable template that can be used to foster and promote this vital conversation across the country and across the world. In 2010, the project reached into the international community of young females who define communities all across this country; Body Language 2010 connected with diverse cultural conversations that define girls across oceans and continents in the hopes of creating a forum where audiences could experience universal truths alongside cultural differences. Body Language is a tool created for teachers and administrators to help engage with young people through a socially energized and personally focused artistic lens. It is the hope of all involved in Body Language that the interaction between multiple generations will offer avenues of personal enrichment and opportunities for social and cultural collaboration.

10

Introduction

2.

Introduction On March 24, 2010, in State College, Pennsylvania, nineteen young girls between the ages of 12 and 18 told a capacity audience in the Pennsylvania State University’s Pavilion Theatre just what it means to be a girl in the age of Abercrombie and Lady Gaga.

In a time where texting and twittering are becoming a standard form of communication, an extraordinary conversation took place, proving that theatre can not only offer real-time experience and information, it can change lives. The conversation began in September of 2009, when girls at Radio Park Elementary School, Park Forest Middle School, and State College High School began meeting during school and after school to talk about how television shows, magazine ads, music, movies, celebrities, and commercials try to tell them how to “be” a girl. They did not stop there. The girls interviewed their mothers, aunts, sisters, teachers, and their peers, they made movies, they made commercials, and they made their own ads for new kinds of products. Most importantly, the students wrote about their personal experiences as young females in 2009/10, they identified their concerns, battles, successes, and challenges, and these private truths became a public performance called Body Language 2010. The Body Language project is about observing a culture, asking questions of citizens, finding solutions, discovering personal direction, and then using live theatre to share these observations, revelations, solutions, and directions with a local community. Body Language is an on-going project between the Penn State School of Theatre, Centre County, and the global population that defines the USA. 11

Body Language

3.

The Creation of Body Language 2010: A How-To Guide This book is both a “How To” template and a “How We Did It” story designed to illustrate the possibilities of using theatre skills for social awareness and personal change. Feel free to use any part of this template, any set of exercises or concepts that ring true to your educational or experiential wishes for students, parents, and community members of any age. There is no limitation attached to this template*, and it can be adapted to any set of questions or concerns.

The enclosed DVD contains the video of the student performance of Body Language 2010; let it inspire you as you develop a program for the young women you are working with. This text is meant as a guide that opens up possibilities for the teacher, director, actor, writer, mentor, parent, or citizen to teach, perform, and advise by offering real time experiences to others. Everything begins with communication, and if we are to live together on what is becoming a very small planet, projects like Body Language 2010 can help open a door to a kind of truth that transcends borders. Theatre is essential because it uses a form of communication that everyone understands: storytelling.

Everything begins with a story, so let the story of Body Language inspire you and your school or your community to tell a story of your own. *You can download the adaptable workshop guides at www.eifrigpublishing.com.

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How-to Guide

Initial Planning The key to a successful experience with this project is in finding teachers, administrators, community activists, parents, grandparents, or any group of citizens that are willing to invest their time, skills, and energies. When I began this project in March of 2009, I knew it would require collaboration between school administrations, educators, artists, and school counselors. Once I found Lisa Harpster, an ESL teacher at State College Area High School, Susan Marshall Brindle, a student counselor at State High, Gloria Libkin, a counselor at Park Forest Middle School, and Judi Kur, a second-grade teacher at Radio Park Elementary School, we began meeting regularly during the summer of 2009 to identify specific needs of specific age groups and to create specific questions to address those needs. Once the needs were identified, we worked together to create classroom curricula and after-school workshops that offered avenues for self expression and group creativity. We then structured exercises that both inspired and supported the creative aspect of the project. Finally, and most importantly, we worked together to create a language for all of the girls to use in expressing their findings, their hopes, their frustrations, and their dreams. The last step was securing collective meeting space, rehearsal space, and performance space, and most important to any project like this, a workable schedule.

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Initial Steps for planning a Body Language project: Creating a template for each age group that includes the issues to be addressed and the selection of students (class assignment or selected participants, or a class assignment with teachers choosing the participants); Creating a set of questions that can be adapted to each age group; Finding a “Language of Respect” that allows everyone to be in the room for the conversation – A language that supports “sisters addressing sisters”; Identifying information that is not being handed down as a practice – it was suggested that this “information” might very well be the final product of the presentation, or at least a start in the identification process.

Sample Schedule September: Classroom visits / after-school sessions / choose groups and provide writing tools October: Saturday Workshop #1 for all writers – Pizza lunch November: Saturday Workshop #2 – Visit from guest speaker (in our case, Jess Weiner) and a sharing of preliminary work December: Individual School Events – a “sharing” of work on a local level in each school – this event can be for parents / peers / administration or just an “in class” presentation geared towards all writers being heard February: One writing workshop and one week of rehearsals March: Staging rehearsal, dress rehearsal, and performance

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How-to Guide

Strategies and Methods of Selection Selecting participants, with consideration of writing skills, marginalized populations (international students, minorities, students with eating disorders), all girls or mixed groups, all class or portion of class Deciding upon a time for the session: in-school activity period, class assignment, after-school activity Writing Guides There are ways into writing, such as the students creating an Observational Narrative, which they then share out loud.

The ON is based on simply observing their peers in a social environment and looking at how people are dressed / standing / talking / gesturing and then putting these observations on to paper.

Then the writer gets to describe the feelings of both those being observed and themselves. In the Emotional Narrative observers speculate on how those observed “feel” based on what they are doing, then the narrative moves into how the writer feels watching, and how the writer feels about what they see. Another tool is listening to conversations and writing down what people say, then describing the feelings inside the words and inside how the words are delivered. This kind of EN opens up a descriptive quality to personal feelings.

In Small Moments exercises, the students identify small moments in their day and write what the moment is and how it makes them feel. Here long sentences are desired, with extended play with feelings and emotions. Each age can do various SM writing as an exercise. A SM on something happy / sad / cool / scary / exciting…sky’s the limit on that one.

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Avenues of Expression The students can be offered four avenues of expression based on four sets of questions: Identity: Who are you? How do you know who you are? Who tells you who you are? Who would you like to become? Who don’t you want to be?

Media: Who are you on MTV / VH1 / America’s Top Model /Survivor? What Disney© character are you? Where do you see yourself in magazines? On television? Youtube? Facebook?

How do you re-write yourself to fit into a website “profile?”

Body: What parts of your body do you like? What parts of your body tell the truth? What parts have betrayed you?

What worries you?

Each of these questions has a set of age specific questions, and interior questions are to be composed or revamped to be as useful to their students as possible Additional projects that can be incorporated into Body Language: Video interviews with peers Oral traditions / histories about identity with mothers, grandmothers, aunts, older / younger sisters 3 minute monologues to be performed live or on video Acquiring Permission Create parent permission forms for their children’s participation and acquire approval from the school administration 16

How-to Guide

Language and Message Finally, our language for Body Language is dictated by Hope, Community, Healing, Information, and Protection. The pathway to this language will be rocky for some, but finding this language may be one of our strongest statements about who we all are.

When I look back at the initial stage of Body Language 2010, we accomplished nearly everything we set out to do, and I am convinced we accomplished so much because we created a workable schedule that we followed as best as we could. A key element that rooted this project in academia, research, and social responsibility was the creation of a Dramaturgical Handbook that was given to every teacher and school administrator involved. The handbook for Body Language 2010, created by Kaitlin Boland, a PSU senior BA in Theatre, contained data on female body image and self-esteem from academic sources, media sources (pictures, ads, celebrity articles, etc.) and scientific / medical research on eating disorders and destructive behaviors in young women. We highly recommend the creation of such a handbook (as a student project, possibly) with current data and issues. (Please see the Reference section on page 90 for details.) With a stack of images and data to support our mission, we continued to schedule workshops and classes and create a program. We held the initial group workshop at Penn State University, the second at State College Area High School; we rehearsed there in the counselors’ offices and the auditorium and performed at Penn State’s Pavilion Theatre during Penn State’s new works festival, Cultural Conversations. Granted, Body Language 2010 had the opportunity to be part of a play festival as an outlet for the performance, but we could have performed this play in any space, be it school, community 17

Body Language

center, church, synagogue, mosque, basement, any space, and it would have made the same impact. It’s not the facility, it’s the content.

We decided early on that we would approach the serious issue of body image and self-esteem in a way that the youngest girls could understand them, and we put the middle and high school girls in charge of their younger “sisters” participating in the project. By protecting the youngest members of the group from ideas and events they might not understand, the girls actually located key points of concern like peer pressure, family expectations, and the media that everyone had in common.

The syllabus provided in the State College Area High School chapter, developed and implemented by ESL teacher Lisa Harpster, outlines this language of the project thoroughly. Lisa’s coursework constantly utilized the words tolerance, appreciation, and inspiration, which were the words chosen to articulate the core message of the Body Language project, which is hope, community, healing, information, and protection. Finding unified concerns that were articulated in a unified language created a project that existed under an umbrella of empowerment and care-taking. By creating an environment where everyone could “stay in the room,” the girls discovered core issues at the heart of every conversation about body image and self-esteem, and using these issues as a foundation of creativity not only united a group of girls between 12-18, it united mothers and daughters, aunts and nieces, cousins, sisters, teachers and students. All of us watched as each girl found a new way to “be” inside peer groups, families, schools, and in their own personal worlds, and all of us marveled at the power of a girl.

Designed to be inclusive of race, ethnicity, culture, and religious backgrounds, all of the exercises and assignments in this book are based on: 18

How-to Guide

1) Identifying how females are represented in contemporary cultures. The girls observed commercials, print media, television, film, and literature, and brought examples of magazine ads and articles from local or global sources. Girls from outside the US were asked to talk about media and marketing in their respective countries, and hopefully, could find tangible example to share.

Once individual and collective definitions of “female” were established by the working groups, the girls were asked to make the personal connection.

2) Relating the definitions to personal experiences with peers, family, and their individual cultures. Once the girls began to communicate personal experiences, those experiences were documented in personal journals, which then became the foundation for their writing.

3) Writing a monologue. I taught the same simple writing technique to all of the working groups, and monologue writing opened the door to many different ways for the girls to communicate with each other and their extended communities.

The playwriting technique began with the girls writing down their thoughts, feeling, reactions, and hopes, dreams, and real time solutions in personal journals. Once in the habit of writing, I asked the girls to write a story about something that happened to them in school, or how they felt when someone called them a name, or what they wanted to change about how girls are viewed in their respective schools. I then asked that the girls choose ten sentences from their story and arrange them in order. This is the beginning of a monologue. From here, the writer can be led to expand what is interesting and contract was is repetitive, off the point, or unnecessary for the “story.” It may sound like this writing process is so easy. It is. Once the sentences became cohesive “stories,” ones the students liked, we all came together 19

Body Language

again in a collective writing workshop to refine and polish them with my student playwrights from Penn State, Reagan Copeland, Emma Futhey, and Hansol Jung. The desired result was 1- or 2minute monologues.

4) Arranging the monologues into a unified story and then staging it. Again, this is not hard to do, neither is staging the girls. Just make it loud, fast, funny, and compelling. Like live theatre ‌‌ Dropping a Stone in the Water The performance on March 24, 2010, was not the only final product of Body Language 2010. Not all of the participants wanted to do the public performance, and those who did not filmed their monologues, which were put on a DVD that was played prior to the show along with the family, teacher, and peer interviews that were part of the research aspect of the project. The event did not end on March 24th: some of the girls at Park Forest Middle School decided to form a Body Language Club to continue the conversation with their peers, and many of the high school ESL students continued to meet and perform their monologues at local State College and PSU events.

We made and kept some important friends along the way.

Jess Weiner, the Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund and the body image and self-esteem guru for girls across the globe, was our first friend, and Jess flew out from Los Angeles, CA, to do a Saturday workshop in November of 2009 for all the participants and many other guests. It is vital for all those involved in a project like this to meet early on so a sense of community is established. Jess also supplied us with the very fine workbooks for mothers and daughters available at www.dove.com, which were used as reference material by Judi Kur and Gloria Libkin. Jess also offered her own website, www.jessweiner.com, as a place where girls could meet and 20

How-to Guide

chat online about issues and answers. All of us thank Jessica Weiner for focusing her vast energies on Body Language, and we applaud her continued efforts for girls across the planet. We also had firm support from school administrators, PSU faculty members, School of Theatre Director Dan Carter, community leaders and business professionals, and I cannot stress enough how important it is to find a friend in the local press and radio / TV stations to make your efforts known to your community.

The chapters that follow offer a bird’s eye view of how we did what we did, and our version of Body Language 2010, articulated in all the different languages that define us as educators, is intended to inspire you to find your own path.

The mission of the Body Language project was never lost on the students, and the impact of speaking out was clearly articulated by one of the students from State High. After a session she said, “Whenever you seem really passionate about something, people will watch and people will follow.” This project is about creating leaders, taking responsibility for the future, making real and tangible change in local and global communities, and this project is about the next generation of girls on this planet.

There is nothing more important than a young woman because therein lies all the possibilities of a culture. The ripple effect of this project continues in State College and beyond, and the next stone to be dropped in the water is yours.

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22

Working with Pre-Teens

4.

Elementary School Level: Working with Pre-Teens Radio Park Elementary School, State College, PA, led by Judi Kur, Teacher There are some real challenges when you work with 8and 9-year-olds. Those challenges are not in the realm of creativity, but rather in the realm of structure. One of the key goals of Body Language 2010 was to discover just when a girl begins to doubt herself and start thinking about the outside eyes looking in. Most likely, answers to those questions are very individual and based on various factors like economics, religion, education, environment, and the myriad social and cultural forces that define the girl’s life. The three girls chosen

by Judi for our project had displayed talent for writing and talent for communication, and both Judi and I believe that the more structured the time, the more valuable and usable the information. At the very first meeting, key vocabulary words should be defined individually and as a group. A handout sheet is useful for individual ideas and then a chalkboard can be used to find a group definition of: Tolerance Respect Appreciation Self-esteem Homework handouts can be used to continue the conversation on an individual level. The homework handouts are used to generate discussion at the next meeting and can have questions like: 23

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What is the first thing you think about when you wake up?

What do you see when you look in a mirror?

Is there anything you would change about what you see?

If you could wear anything you wanted, what would you wear?

How would you feel when you wear that?

Do you ever feel funny in what you wear?

Do you ever think people are looking at you funny because of what you have on?

Why do you think they do that?

Do you ever think someone has something funny or weird on?

What do you do?

How do you think they feel?

What is a good thing to say to them?

Moving from the personal to the peripheral world can be challenging for an 8- or 9-year-old, but questions about television shows and commercials can offer clues as to what the young students are watching and how they are being affected by what they see. The teacher can ask questions such as: What is your favorite television show?

Why do you like it?

Do you remember any commercials that you have seen?

Is there something that looks good on a commercial that you have asked someone to buy you?

How do you think you would feel if you had it?

Is there someone on TV that you would like to look like?

If you could be anybody on TV, who would you be?

If you could change anything in the world, what would you change?

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Working with Pre-Teens

Moving from the outside back in can be tricky, but after a few sessions talking about the world around them, the core conversation can turn to how clearly the girls can articulate their personal experiences in the world. These exploratory questions can be addressed in class or in handouts.

What are words that describe you?

What are words that describe your best friend?

What do you like about them?

Are there words that other students call you that hurt?

What do you do when you hear them?

What is a good way to tell another student that what they said hurt you?

What is a bad way to tell them?

What is a good way to teach tolerance?

What is a good way to teach appreciation?

What is a good way to teach self-esteem?

What kind of person teaches tolerance, appreciation, and selfesteem? What do they look like?

How can this person talk to everybody in your school? Your city? Your country? Your planet?

Once ideas are flowing towards a solution, which is an active way to approach this age group, make sure the ideas are being documented by someone so none of the solutions are lost. In the world of an 8-year-old, it is entirely possible for 3 girls to save the planet, and this project is where their voices can be heard.

A key element in getting girls to create a story together is to discover what the girls have in common. It can be music, movies, books, celebrities, television shows, and in the case of these three girls, it was DisneyŠ. All the girls had a favorite 25

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character in a favorite story; once a common thread is found, you can talk about what makes characters likable, or special, or, for the purposes of the project, “what makes the character a hero.” Once we found some common subject that they could all talk about, we asked the girls to go past the costumes and the jewelry and the prince and find what made each character a strong girl. Once the 8-year-olds came up with words and phrases like “they are nice, they aren’t afraid, they love their parents, they love the sea creatures, and they know the Beast is good,” we used those phrases to create a new princess for 2010.

I asked the girls to name her, give her the task, and then write the story. All of the issues of awareness and solutions from past sessions came into “play,” and the result was the story of Aquamarine Sapphire Topaz, a superhero princess asked by President Barack Obama to go to Haiti and save all the children.

Once the story line above was decided upon by all the girls, the story was divided into a beginning, middle, and end, and each girl was given one part to write. The girls went home and returned with incredibly elaborate events, all of which were discussed with respect, tolerance, and appreciation, and I gave each girl the chance to select 5 events for their part. Once these events were chosen, the events were strung together into a unified story. Judi had the hard part: she had to keep up with the story as it changed and adapted and refined itself into what you see below. Thank goodness for her laptop and her speed at typing! The most critical moment of the process was when I said, “This is the last change you can make! In one minute, the story is finished!” What follows is the monologue, which was performed by a Park Forest Middle School student with the assistance of everyone else who portrayed jewels, trees, caves, evil rats, and whatever else was required to tell the story of a new princess who serves her President.

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Working with Pre-Teens

The Journey of a Real Princess

By Katie Finlan, Helena Hayes, Eleanor Jamison Adapted for the stage by Susan Russell Hello. I am Aquamarine Sapphire Topaz. I am the princess who cares about her kingdom. I love my family and I’m really friendly. I am very good friends with Barack Obama, and I help him on important missions.

One day when I was visiting Barack Obama at the White House, Barack said that he needed me to go on an important journey to the center of the earth to gather food, water, shelter, hope, happiness, family, and friends and protect the future of the children of Haiti. That is when my journey began……

Once I got to Haiti I couldn’t hear a sound except the wind. I jumped when a small bottle rolled and hit me on the foot.

I am very smart so I held it up to the sun. I saw a little puddle inside, just the size of a speck. The puddle was the color of my clothes so I knew it was magic. I opened it and sprinkled the magic onto myself. I knew that it could only have one spell, so I chose it very carefully. I said, “I do not know where to go.

Please show me the way so I can save the day.”

A note appeared in front of me saying: “You must go quick or the people of Haiti will get sick.

Here are the things that you will need Or you won’t succeed: Bring hope, happiness, family, and friends, And bring food, water, and shelter so they will mend.”

Then the note disappeared, but I didn’t know where to start.

I asked for help and another note appeared.

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“Think of the note at the beginning of your quest.

And what was said last is what you do next.”

I knew I needed to find food, water and shelter so I went to the forest. Right in front of me was the biggest tree I had ever seen. It had branches as long as chimneys and fruit on every twig. I spent all night cutting off the branches and collecting the fruit. And though it was the darkest night ever, the tree glowed with magic.

I had the food and shelter and began to dig to the roots for water. The roots became a tunnel that led me to the center of the earth. I was walking along the path and a hand grabbed me and dragged me into a dark tunnel.

Once my eyes adjusted to the dark I saw standing before me a big rat. He had a slimy tail, yellow eyes with red centers, and he reeked of evil.

“I am Nohopeyguy and I am here to stop you from destroying all that I have done to the children of Haiti.”

I didn’t know what to do so I wished my BFF, Katie Helanor, would be by my side. I needed her so badly because she is kind and thoughtful and is always there for me. She always forgives me for my silliness, and I do the same for her. She is smart and could figure out a way to help me turn Nohopeyguy into a Mr. Futureman.

Suddenly Katie Helanor was standing right next to me, green eyes glittering. We looked at Nohopeyguy who was inching closer towards us. We knew what we had to do. We had to be BFF’s. We had to believe in each other, we had to have hope in each other and we have to believe that in the future the children of Haiti would be safe.

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Working with Pre-Teens

So we started rapping: “The hope is here The end of our journey is near We have to beat this rat The children of Haiti need that.

We can see the children’s future They live in harmony.

They have food to eat, a house to rest Friends and Family.

Yeah!”

And there before our eyes, Nohopeyguy, the evil, yelloweyed rat suddenly squeaked and turned into Theodore.

The End

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I cannot tell you the response from the audience after this piece. Brilliantly performed by Anna Pearl Belinda, who felt that this Superhero simply had to have a Texas accent, the message of the story was not lost on a standing room only crowd, and the rap song became a momentary hit. An issue that had seemed terrifically complicated and impossible had been reduced to the basics: food, water, shelter, and hope.

Based on the quality of work, the unending stream of consciousness ideas, the heart, the interest, the devotion to creating a new hero for their age and giving her a global mission of service, I found the young girls extremely exciting to work with. Rather than do the writing workshop my way, I let them do it their way, which was to write their own individual ideas a sentence at a time during the workshop itself, and then read the sentences to each other and basically riff as a group to bring the story line together. The only challenge was keeping the girls to simple ideas that could be articulated easily and keeping them from changing everything every time we read it! In the case of these three girls, they wanted to write the story together, so the process adapted to fit them. Feel free to discover what works for your 8- or 9-year-olds as well. In fact, that is what Judi and I encourage you to do.

In looking for answers about self-esteem and body image, these three 8-year-olds thought they were all beautiful and capable and deserving of all the world has to offer. Maybe at 8, depending on our environment, we still believe we can be and do all things.

So, when do we start to doubt ourselves, and why?

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5.

Middle School Level: Working with Young Teens Park Forest Middle School, State College, PA, led by Gloria Libkin, School Counselor Without a doubt, the middle school girls were the most outspoken and focused of all the students. For an inquiry like this, that piece of information is very important. Every girl was at every meeting and each of them had something to say every time. They were energetic, daring, and determined to make real changes in their own lives, their peer groups, families, school, and community. Champing at the bit to look at the world around them, Gloria focused their vast energies on observation, articulation, and action. The results were monologues about celebrities like Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus, critiques of apparel sold by Abercrombie and Hollister, and heartfelt explorations of family dynamics, sibling rivalry, and the “mean girl� population that surrounds the girls every day.

I would always leave the workshops enlightened and inspired by the bravery and determination of these young women.

Victimized, sometimes, but victims? Absolutely not. Again, important information. I was always impressed by the honesty of these girls, and they never shied away from tackling images and attitudes, and with this group, Gloria and I stressed the importance of clearly identifying problems and then finding personal solutions. The girls were asked to find real-time answers to the questions they were posed, and many of them sought outlets other than public performance through which to share their thoughts.

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Gloria met with her hand-picked group of girls during school and after school, and she had the following to say about methods and practices when leading middle school students through a course on body image and self-esteem.

1. Interest and Importance of the Work From the beginning, Park Forest Middle School girls embraced the Body Language project with intense interest and passionate interactions. The need to learn about and explore identity issues, media influences on girls, and body image was clear. Self-esteem is fragile at this age. Sharing insecurities went hand in hand with discussions of body types, fashion, marketing to girls, and other pressures. The seventh- and eighth-graders made connections between their self-concept and media, technology, and peer and family expectations.

They saw the complexity of the topics from the start.

The girls named themselves the Me, Myself and I group.

Comments at the end of the project express the importance of their participation. Girls said that Me, Myself and I showed the truth behind walls of lies in the media. One girl shared that she learned how a person’s self-image is affected by media and that these things are fake and shouldn’t bother her.

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Others talked about respecting themselves for who they are rather than letting images in the media determine their selfconcepts. Several students shared that before the group they would think about not being pretty enough or cool enough, but that they had learned that they didn’t have to please everyone around them. The knowledge gained at a personal level was something they planned to carry with them for the rest of their lives and to spread to others. One girl compared the group to her seventh-grade school subjects and felt she had learned more in the workshops and her own personal work on the project than she had at school. She did not want to forget how important her thinking about herself and others was. The combination of learning and creating was truly empowering.

2. Selection of Participants One school counselor and a counseling intern led the Me, Myself and I group. The Learning Enrichment teacher, counselors and English teachers helped with the member selection. Because the girls would write monologues, students needed to be capable writers and some needed to be interested in performing their work for Body Language.

The plan included a combination of group workshops and individual work, therefore, girls were chosen from just two grade levels. Students had very different interests, peer groups and senses of themselves, and the diversity made for engaging discussions and deeper understanding of self and others. From those invited, eighteen students chose to participate. For the purpose of group process, this is a large size, but it worked because the students were very thoughtful listeners. Groups of eight to eighteen could work well. The girls selected received the following project information sheet (including a permission slip) to determine their interest: 33

Body Language

Congratulations!

You have been recommended by one or more of your teachers for a Learning Enrichment project called Body Language.

This project will involve a group of girls discussing, writing, and participating in a culminating activity. We will be exploring identity, media influences on girls in our society, and body image. The work will highlight self-knowledge, self-worth, and self-expression in an encouraging group.

Led by inspirational speaker Jess Weiner and PSU Assistant Professor Susan Russell, a community of girls and adult women will come together to create and perform monologues.

Park Forest Middle School girls will meet monthly for two-period (ninety-minute) workshops. The first project will focus on monologue writing. Once the monologues are written, girls will make plans for sharing their work. Some students will perform at Penn State in a play titled “Body Language.� Other students will share their creativity with school, family, and friends in different ways.

Please complete the parent permission form and return to the Counseling Office. _______________ may participate in the Learning Enrichment project called Body Language.

Signature: Date: 34

Working with Young Teens

3. Workshops and Exercises The project developed in to a series of monthly ninetyminute workshops that rotated throughout the school day.

Individuals and small groups met in between the workshops to edit monologues and create different projects. During each workshop the group members studied and planned. As the girls got to know each other, their sharing was more personal, heartfelt, and challenging. They learned from each other how insecure they could feel walking down the halls at school, how they worried about reactions of others, and how sad they felt when peers were insulted for their appearance. The level of respect for differences was especially amazing. Careful planning of the workshops allowed for these results. The agenda for the first workshop follows.

Agenda for Workshop One Name Tags: Go Around – What do you want to be called in this group? Share something about this name.

Welcome Message: Purpose – Description of the goals and creative products from this powerful community of girls Ground Rules: Brainstorm rules for comfortable participation, including confidentiality Welcome Activity: Names and Movements Add-On Definitions: Self-concept, Identity, Self-esteem, Body Image Media: Brainstorm different components of the media – What would you like to tell the media about how they show girls vs. who they really are?

Explanation of creative project: Monologue or other product Brief writing time: Select from list Looking ahead: Next workshop and individual work 35

Body Language

Additional Workshop Discussions / Activities The following topics, discussion questions, and writing prompts come from the different workshops. They are shared as a jumping off point for planning future self-expression projects about body image, self-worth and self-knowledge.

Body Language Definitions: Self-concept is the umbrella term that includes self-esteem, identity and body image.

Identity is who we are and how we define ourselves.

Self-Esteem is how much we value or accept ourselves for who we are.

Body Image is the mental picture we form of our bodies.

Let’s Get Thinking and Writing! (Questions about self-concept, self-esteem, body image, media influence, and identity that can be used for jumping into the work and sharing) When do you feel most like yourself?

Describe your elementary self?

Describe your middle-school self?

When do you feel most like yourself?

Write about an influence that is helping to shape who you are or who you will become.

What words are used to describe girls?

When you use media, how does it help you feel good about yourself?

How does it lower your self-esteem?

Think about a part of your body. What would it say about itself?

What would it say about others?

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How does your perception of your body influence how you feel about yourself?

What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? Does this help your day or hurt your day?

What do you say to family and peers about your body? Write this dialogue.

Think about your use of media. How does this teach you about who you are?

Media messages can be very unhealthy for girls. How do you relate to this? How can we help others?

What positive messages do girls learn from the media? How does this relate to you?

What builds your self-confidence?

How do you define beauty? Explain experiences in your life that shape this definition.

How does bullying have an impact on how you see yourself and others? Write about a real or fictional situation.

How can we be allies to others by sharing our stories?

Think about an experience or series of events that has helped create your current identity. Tell the story.

Additional Workshop Agenda Items The Ground Rules poster was present at all the workshops for brief review. (See References for more about the ground rules poster.)

Go Arounds were used to learn what they were feeling and doing to promote brief sharing. For example, “Tell about something that has happened recently that has made you feel good about yourself or powerful. What are your thoughts on your work since our last meeting?�

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Information about fashion, the celebrity culture, advertising, and technology was shared. Students headed to the Internet and talked about information they had learned in health class, from the families and other adults. The Dove website (www.dove.com) and Jessica Weiner’s workshop and books provided wonderful information. Brainstorms of destructive impressions of what is beautiful were heated and became brutally honest. Girls “called each other out” for saying something didn’t really matter, or for saying it was “wrong” when some of them wanted to look a certain way or have a certain outfit or experience a certain opportunity.

Exploring the myths and messages that could cause girls and women to desire impossible images brought forth important learning for all. Examples of waist size, hair fullness, and designer jeans began the discussion, but that moved in to conversations about numbers of friends, activities, boys, and relationships with family members. The number of negative judgments girls made about themselves led to an exploration of self-responsibility in the toxic media culture. They discussed ways they were boosting their own self-esteem rather than hurting themselves. They talked about who helped them live with real goals rather than impossible ones. They talked about how they could positively influence others. Planning sheets (see references) were provided to establish goals for each girl. Other projects were brainstormed and discussed. Individual and small group times were organized.

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4. Coaching Monologue Writing

Susan Russell came to Park Forest Middle School for the third workshop. The exercises she led literally freed up their voices. She combined talking and writing, assuring the students that all of their ideas and words were excellent. She encouraged them to be loud and spontaneous. She stressed their powerful understanding of the topic. Susan asked the students to write letters to people in their lives or to celebrities. They were given five minutes to write.

Next students selected their best three sentences to share orally.

At the end of the workshop, students were asked to write three more letters. Susan helped them see that they could write in imaginative ways about themselves. They could even write to one of their body parts. One girl wrote to her foot.

In the following weeks students met individually and in small groups to share their writing and to work on the monologues they liked best. They got ideas from other group members.

Compliments gave them confidence. Writing something personal and heartfelt was scary for some of the girls. They sometimes worried that their ideas weren’t important enough to share with a larger audience. Reassurance from a peer meant a great deal. Girls were encouraged to keep selecting the best three sentences. Not all of the letters ended up as actual monologues, but that exercise created work that was personal and compelling, because they were telling their stories. Emotions were stronger and details were sharper. In the end, some were too long for the actual play, and Susan edited. The girls even supported each other in this process as they did in rehearsal and performance.

Because recognizing accomplishments was a goal of the project, sharing completed monologues was on workshop agendas. The girls had important voices regarding body image and media influences, and the monologues reinforced their strengths.

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Body Language

5. Creative Projects beyond the Monologue Beginning with the first workshop, the girls brought up other ways to express their ideas. Some were keen on making a movie. Several girls wanted to expose the dangers to girls in stores where employees had to look a certain way, where sizes were tiny, and where merchandising was provocative. Others wanted to film interviews with peers to demonstrate negative influences and ways to overcome media-lowered self-esteem.

One brief movie was completed, and the process added to the dialogue. Girls learned that some of the other students didn’t share their negative feelings about stores at the mall, and analyzing diverse reactions added to the complexity of the topic. The discussion would come back to how hard it is to see the influence of the media, because it is such a large part of every day life. Interviewing students helped get additional people thinking about the topics, which was a wonderful outcome.

The students settled on a long list of questions to ask boys, girls, and adults. Some were personal, and it was sometimes difficult to get open responses. These questions could be added to the list of discussion and writing prompts for workshops: How do you feel about yourself?

How do you describe yourself? Who are you?

How do you think others perceive you?

How do you think people judge others at our school?

Do you like to shop?

Where do you like to shop?

What is it about these shops that you like?

What do you think about when you look in the mirror?

What does Valentine’s Day do to your self-esteem?

How do dates fit with identity in middle school?

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Do other students tell you about how you look?

Are you more affected by comments made by girls or boys?

How do peers affect how you see yourself? The way you dress?

What happens in school that affects your self-esteem?

How do models, actors and singers affect how you think you should look?

When do you feel the most handsome or beautiful?

How do the pictures in stores influence your thinking?

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

Would you do it?

Who influences you?

Do you have an idol or a role model? Who? Why?

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As activists, the girls wanted to share with others how empowering it is to question beliefs that could turn selfdestructive. They created an interactive game for the school’s Health Fair. The title was Identity Universe. The premise was that people’s style, thinking, feelings, decisions and activities are influenced by: A. The media, B. Friends, C. Family and traditions, and D. Individual interests and strengths. Students at the Health Fair took a five-question survey. The girls wrote the questions and forced-choice answers, one answer for each of the four influences. Two or more of the answers correlated with one of the four influences. Based on their answers, the students were told if media, friends, family and traditions or individual interests and strengths had the stronger influence.

Then they put a colored toothpick in a Styrofoam ball so that we had a running tally of influence. They could get a hand stamp to match the color of the toothpick. This was a game, but the discussions were thought provoking for many involved.

The game brought attention to the display of their monologues and key points from the workshops.

Students were excited about bringing the workshops to other groups in the school and to other schools. They believed that elementary-aged girls would benefit from a workshop lead by middle-school girls. They thought of writing newspaper articles, making announcements, and leading their own workshops for interested peers. They knew they were helping each other, and they wanted to reach out beyond the group to establish more hopeful and healthy practices. Creating together had no limits and was inspirational. The school year ended before all of their ideas could be realized, but they looked forward to the new school year to bring further opportunities to continue helpful, healthy interchange and creativity.

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6.

High School Level: Working with Young Women State College Area High School, State College, PA, led by Susan Marshall Brindle, M. Ed., School Counselor It is with great appreciation that I call attention to the high school participants in this project. The world has moved so far forward so fast, and sometimes the world forgets that a teenager is not an adult. The pressures of “being� an adult are visible in our high schools, and the social issues that used to define our universities and even young adulthood now define our high schools and in some cases, our middle schools.

High school counselors like Susan Marshall Brindle know first-hand how the pressures affect some young people, and the eating disorders, the psychological turmoils, the gang culture, the violence, the drug and alcohol use all speak about young people struggling with the new century. Access to information does not equal socialization, and a student accessing the world on a computer does not necessarily identify a person who knows what to do with it.

What follows are the individual accounts of Susan Marshall Brindle, who worked with a group of young women from State College Area High School, followed by reflections on the activities designed for international students by Lisa Harpster. Lisa is an ESL teacher at State College Area High School, who had both male and female students of a variety of nationalities in her group.

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Approach to Empower Girls to Take Care of Themselves and their Sisters: Mission Statement We are about to embark on a new journey together, a journey that will be quite personally vulnerable, very social and lots of FUN. First, there are a few rules to follow! The foundation of our adventure is based on tolerance, appreciation, inspiration and endless possibilities! This is essential, for we cannot be free to create, write and express freely if we are inhibited, scared, or judgmental toward others or ourselves. This blocks the creative process, and we do NOT want that.

In a world often dominated by media and technology, issues of self-worth, self-knowledge, and self-expression have come to the forefront. We have developed and created our own definitions of what it means to be ME, based on varying influences, such as friends, family, culture, religion, and now our constant access to and use of media and technology.

We will explore both personal and cultural observations in a writing environment secured with respect, hope, community, healing, information, and protection, while we are discussing and reflecting on issues such as: media, celebrity, self-worth, selfperception, and assessing where the personal and social selves intersect.

Our goals are: - to create a safe place for discussion on specific body and identity issues that affects virtually every aspect of our lives from elementary school to professional employment and retirement; - to provide the opportunity for personal growth and acceptance of diversity;

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-to practice your writing, speaking, listening, and reading skills;

-to connect our international community through cultural conversations that define us across oceans and continents in the hopes of finding a common language of acceptance, hope and community as we experience universal truths and cultural differences; -to enrich ourselves and our local society through support, hope, and by embracing diversity;

-to empower us (and all women) to take care of our sisters and ourselves.

1. Identifying and Selecting Students:

This group experience will command the students involved to delve into deep emotional self-exploration and to articulate those feelings and insights into written words. With this in mind, we felt that it was important to select those students whom we knew to be capable and willing to take on such vulnerable tasks.

We selected 12 high school students who were “good writers� (as identified by their English teachers), emotionally mature (as identified by classroom and Learning Enrichment teachers and counselors), capable of working in small groups (as identified by classroom teachers) and who came from culturally diverse backgrounds. Some of these girls were known to be struggling with personal issues of their own, but were currently in emotionally healthy and safe places (eating disorders, body image, dating conflicts, etc.).

2. Group Format A small-group format for the Body Language project curriculum provides girls with a safe place to share and work through issues. In the small-group setting (8 to 12 participants) meetings approximately 45 – 60 minutes long should be 45

Body Language

conducted. We met with the high school girls on a rotating period basis (so that they did not miss the same class each time) and began each session with discussion and ended with a writing assignment. We also allowed several weeks between the sessions so that the girls would have a chance to digest the discussion, think about the topic in terms of their own experiences, and then put those thoughts on paper.

3. Evaluation The final “evaluation” of The Body Language Project” curriculum was to have each young woman write a brief monologue (performance piece of 2-3 minutes) about any of the ongoing topics of conversation.

4. Permission Before starting the group, we secured permission to run this group from the Assistant Superintendent, Director of Learning Enrichment & Student Services, school principals, and then the parents of each student.

5. Activities We conducted our sessions according to the activity plans that we created, which follow.

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ACTIVITY 1:

WHO ARE WE AND WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

Objective: Girls will meet each other and have an introductory discussion about what it means to be a young female in 2010.

Materials: Snack food, drinks, plates, cups, parent permission form to videotape (handed out with the initial participation invitations).

Procedure: 1. Collect the permission slips.

2. Play any introductory name game to get to know each other.

Have the girls share things about themselves that they can do.

Have the girls share how they feel about themselves and how they feel about other girls in the school?

3. Watch the DOVE website videos about girls (www.dove.com).

4. Discuss the videos – how did they make you feel? Identify media images and talk about that impact specifically on girls / women: Who gets to be happy? How do you get to be popular?

What movie star would you want to be? How does the media shape what you wear and how you feel about yourself? Who is beautiful? Who is happy? What would make you happy? What is happy?

Assignment: Examine the media (magazines, newspaper, TV, music, etc) and how it portrays the modern woman. What do you see that you like and / or agree with? What do you see that you dislike and / or disagree with? What is the “American Woman” according to you? How is a woman defined in other cultures?

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ACTIVITY 2: IT’S ALL ABOUT IDENTITY….and the Media Objective: Girls will talk about the formation of female identity and about their own identity specifically.

Materials: Snack food, drinks, plates, cups, writing paper, writing utensils Procedure: 1. Re-introduction of ourselves 2. Discussion of the evolution of women’s self-esteem: How have women talked about themselves through the generations?

How women have been perceived throughout the ages and in different cultures? How do we talk about ourselves now?

3. Discussion of our female identity: Who are you (physically, emotionally, spirituality, personality)? How would your friends describe you? Do you agree with them? Who and what has impacted how you see yourself? What do you worry about?

When do you feel most like yourself? What impacts that?

Who or what do you want to become? Who or what don’t you want to become? How do your male friends see you? How do your male friends see females in general? How do you tell the differences between what others say about you and what you really think of yourself? When do you most like yourself?

4. Discussion and sharing of the homework assignment: What are we doing right to help each other? What are we doing wrong that possibly hurts the perceptions, and therefore, treatment of females? How can we take care of each other?

How can we empower ourselves and other females?

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Assignment: Interview a female parent, guardian, teacher or mentor. Ask this person how it felt for them to grow up as a female. What issues did they face? What important advice do they want to share with you as you grow into adulthood?

Write 10 lines on: I will save a woman by…

ACTIVITY 3: A WORKSHOP WITH JESSICA WEINER – Author and Inspirational Speaker Objective: Girls will attend an afternoon workshop with Jessica Weiner – author and inspirational speaker. The goal was to address the issues of female empowerment and participate in conversations about “real beauty” in a safe and larger community environment.

Materials: Large performance/lecture space, food, drinks Procedure: We invited women from the community, all the female students and their mothers, sisters, female administrators, teachers, staff and their daughters, etc., to attend an afternoon workshop about Female Empowerment with Jessica Weiner.

Preparing for this workshop involved many steps: Securing a guest speaker Finding a space Guest list and invitations, refreshments Set-up and tear-down of space Follow-up evaluation 49

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ACTIVITY 4: YOUR BODY IS YOUR TEMPLE Objective: Girls will be given the opportunity and invitation to speak openly in a non-judgmental environment about their own bodies and where these bodies and thoughts are taking them.

Materials: None needed Procedure: 1. Name game 2. Open-ended discussion of Jessica Weiner’s workshop 3. Discussion of personal body image: When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you think others see? What do you imagine others say about your physical appearance?

How does this impact you? What is your favorite part of your body? What parts of your body do you like / dislike? What parts have betrayed you? What would your body say if it could talk? Which parts of your body tell the truth? Which parts of your body lie? If you could have a conversation with a part of your body, which part would it be? How would the conversation go? What would the body part say? What part of your body is NOT like what you see in the media? How does this impact your future plans? Where do you see yourself (physically, emotionally, career plans) in the future? What does your life look like? What societal pressures concern you? What cultural or familial expectations concern you?

Assignment: Write 10 – 15 lines about your own body experience and/or the future you see for your body.

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ACTIVITY 5: HOW TO WRITE AN EMOTIONAL MONOLOGUE – A session with Susan Russell, Assistant Professor, Arts and Architecture, Penn State University Objective: Girls will learn, discuss, and practice the steps to writing an emotional dialogue.

Materials: Paper and writing utensils Procedure: 1. Re-introduction of girls 2. Introduction to writing the emotional monologue: -Choose an issue that holds a lot of emotion for you (love, fear, pride, hate, etc.) and write it down; -Write 10 lines on this topic. Think, elaborate, live it and tell it from YOUR point of view; -Look back on what you’ve just written. Can you expand this to tell a short story about your experience or your thoughts with this topic? (1-2 minutes); -Who is your audience? Who would you like it to be? Can they hear your story or message?

-Write your story again, making sure that you tell your audience how to solve the problem. No ranting without offering solutions or strategies for change.

Assignment: Write a brief monologue about any Body Language project topic.

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6. Concluding observations, thoughts, reflections.

The challenge in all group-counseling experiences is often in the selection and then the emotional stability of each member as the group forms and progresses. Will the student be interested and have something to offer? Will the student gain something from the group? Will the group empower the student in a positive way? If the student is struggling with her own core issues, will the group overwhelm her?

All females can benefit from a group process that explores the contents and issues that are presented in the Body Language project because these topics are universal to all women. With that said, however, the timing, the interpretation, and the experiences for every female are different, dependent on factors like cultural background, location, familial beliefs, etc. As a school counselor, I feel it is one of my roles to help the students I work with to understand and process their experiences in a way that will hopefully allow them to live more mentally, physically, and emotionally safe and fulfilling lives.

During this group project, I had several students drop out of the experience due to lack of interest and lack of time to commit to the group. One student did decide to stop her involvement because the topics brought her disordered eating issues to the surface, and she began to feel very anxious. It was most important that I was available to help these students make the decision to drop out of the group (if my help was requested) and to do so without penalty, judgment, or criticism of any kind.

This project allows and calls for as much flexibility and playfulness as the group leaders can manage, depending on their group counseling style and skills. Once the students are engaged, they usually are happy to take you down the path 52

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that is right for them. This is an ideal opportunity for young females to discuss personal, social, and cultural differences and to feel a part of something bigger than themselves despite the differences between them.

For those students who committed to the group and then performed in the larger theatre production, the outcomes were astonishing. To give their words personal meaning, to give their words life, and to stand in front of a live audience and share their most intimate thoughts and emotions was an enormous accomplishment: self-esteem was increased, a sense of community was established both among the group of girls (friendships were formed between girls in grades 7-12 that would have never happened without this project) and within the community at large. Mothers, fathers, teachers, sisters, brothers, neighbors, women and men in the local community, college students, etc., all came together to listen, to learn, and to embrace these girls. They were empowered to be themselves and to give voice to their ideas, concerns, and identities.

A student at my high school watched the final theatre performance (her sister was in the group) and was so moved by the angst of loneliness that was addressed in one of the student monologues that she waited to walk with that girl to a mutual class for the rest of the school year. My own daughter participated in the project and although she agonized over what to address in her monologue, she verbalized a newfound thrill of performing in front of an audience and a boost in her sense of self and community acceptance. She is still talking about this experience four months later.

The Body Language project was an incredible journey for all of us.

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Through a fleeting look, she captures my heart and I sit with her.

Our pose is deliberate, easy. Heads bent together as if in prayer.

I look into her and feel her soul. Â The weight is deafening as her sadness falls on my ears.

We walk along her journey, side-by-side and unafraid.

It is her life that we share through clasped hands, open minds, exposed hearts, and honest words.

Together we taste her bitter sadness and loss. We ache and we linger until the storm passes.

Tranquility finally falls in a shroud of relief and renewal. Â There is never a burden that is too heavy to be carried with trust and respect.

She parts alone, but not lonely.

A woman will capture her eye and another life will be saved.

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SMB 2010

Working with International Students

7.

High School Level: Working with International Students State College Area High School, State College, PA, led by Lisa Harpster, ESL Teacher What an incredible journey through self-reflection, selfevaluation, self-esteem, social and cultural norms and expectations Body Language provides for high school students! This unit of study offers a core subject in addition to delivering various individualized activities, which allow students to remain focused on the given topic while personalizing each exercise to cater to his/her own needs.

The Body Language packet and syllabus permit students to gain a personal, cultural, and social connection to the work and therefore to grow an independent awareness of gender roles and identities in our society.

Having a structured plan in place grants much room for playfulness and individuality in the classroom setting. It was vital in teaching this unit to include a variety of diverse activities in order to maintain students’ attention and interest. The following Body Language curriculum consists of discussion, in both large and small groups, individual writing activities, personal interviews of family and community members, and personal and group projects and presentations. The curriculum is divided into three main elements, which make up the Body Language unit: Media, Body, and Identity. Within each of these portions exists a diverse array of the above-mentioned activities, which could be assigned in or out of order. Use this packet as a guide, but 55

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allow room for the students’ interests and passions to lead you on this exciting, invigorating path.

The natural impact on your students, as well as on you, will astonish you. I had conversations in my class that I never thought possible. I clearly remember one student exclaiming to another, during a discussion of whose job it is to cook dinner, “That is no longer a woman’s role! Men and women can share! Who created these rules anyway?” In addition, in asking for an evaluation of my class as a whole, one student commented on the Body section of the Body Language unit by sharing, “My favorite unit was the “Body.” I am bigger than most of the other students, and this has made me feel self-conscious about myself ever since I entered a U.S. high school. I now don’t blame myself anymore. I blame the media and realize that we are all beautiful. I am proud of my body, how strong it is, and what it can do. I hope that I can help my daughter someday to feel confident in her body and help her not to give in to the media. Maybe we can even change the media!” Needless to say, the impact this unit has on students is nothing short of amazing and so exciting to watch as it all unfolds right in your classroom.

It is not often that students are given the opportunity to discuss such personal, cultural, and social issues, and yet so much can be gained from these experiences, as the unit provides opportunities for growth in various social and personal domains. Plan well from the beginning so that you and your students can play and experience your journey down this life-changing path of self-discovery!

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MISSION STATEMENT We are about to embark on a new journey together, a journey that will be quite personally vulnerable, very social and lots of FUN. First, there are a few rules to follow! The foundation of our adventure is based on tolerance, appreciation, inspiration and endless possibilities! This is essential, for we cannot be free to create, write and express freely if we are inhibited, scared or judgmental toward others or ourselves. This blocks the creative process, and we do NOT want that.

In a world often dominated by media and technology, issues of self-worth, self-knowledge, and self-expression have come to the forefront. We have developed and created our own definitions of what it means to be ME, based on varying influences, such as friends, family, culture, religion and now our constant access to and use of media and technology.

We will explore both personal and cultural observations in a writing environment secured with respect, hope, community, healing, information, and protection while we are discussing and reflecting on issues such as: media, celebrity, self-worth, selfperception, and assessing where the personal and social selves intersect.

Our goals are: - to create a safe place for discussion on specific body and identity issues that affects virtually every aspect of our lives from elementary school to professional employment and retirement; - to provide the opportunity for personal growth and acceptance of diversity; -to practice your writing, speaking, listening, and reading skills; 57

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-to connect our international community through cultural conversations that define us across oceans and continents in the hopes of finding a common language of acceptance, hope and community as we experience universal truths and cultural differences; -to enrich ourselves and our local society through support, hope, and by embracing diversity; -to empower us (and all women) to take care of our sisters and ourselves.

I hope you will leave the classroom with ideas about how people in our global society can be empowered through selfknowledge, cultural awareness and the power of informed decisions.

Materials / Resources:

Body Language packets Computers

Paper and writing utensils Projector

Pull-down screen

www.thecampaignforrealbeauty.com Unit Assessments (Activities / Projects): Small group discussion Class discussion

Personal reflections Observations

Peer Interviews

Family Interviews

Writing and editing process 58

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Grading of the Assessments: As you can see above, your grades for this unit will consist of several different types of assessment. You will be given the appropriate rubric as each item is assigned.

Activities will be Planned for Three Areas of Exploration: 1. Media 2. Body (parts and whole) 3. Identity Essential Vocabulary: Define together, in large or small groups: 1. Tolerance 2. Appreciation 3. Inspiration 4. Judgmental 5. Self-worth 6. Self-knowledge 7. Self-expression 8. Self-perception 9. Culture 10. Personal Self 11. Social Self 12. IDENTITY 13. ___________

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MEDIA Activity 1: Observations in the MEDIA Your assignment is to begin to look at WHAT IS AROUND YOU in the media. Let’s think of the different types of media to which you can begin paying closer attention. They are: Homework: Look at the different types of media and find something that captures your attention as it relates to gender issues (an image you can talk to the class about). What message does it give about men or women (how they should look or act)?

Source: (Make sure you bring in a copy of your source to show the class) Title / Product / Main Idea: Key Words or Images that caught my attention and WHY?: 1. Does the image tell you something about men, women or both?

2. What is the intended message, or what idea about gender do you take from it? WHY? What makes you think or feel this way?

3. Do you agree with this message? Why or why not?

4. Is this an image you would see in the media in your country? How would this type of media be different if in your own country?

5. What do you think of media in the U.S.? WHY? 60

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Reflections on You and the Media Based on your research, answer the following questions: 1. If you were in a magazine, what kind of ad would you be in? (i.e. Would you be in an ad for Harvard University or MTV or a new clothing store?) WHY? 2. If you could become anyone in the media (movie star, reporter, senator, model, president, singer), who would it be? What do you like about this person? WHY? 3. Does the media influence how you dress and/or act?

How? Are you thinking of U.S. media or the media in your own country?

4. Who is considered BEAUTIFUL in YOUR country?

Describe them. Who is considered beautiful in the U.S.?

Describe them.

5. What does the media teach you? Do you think the media helps to teach you who you are? Why? In what way?

6. Is there something you could NOT live without (i.e. cell phone, computer, TV, Facebook, Skype, Internet, email, ipod)? WHY is this so important to you?

7. Interviews: Ask your parents if they think the media is a positive or negative force in our society and WHY? 8. How do your parents/guardians think U.S. culture is different from your own culture as it relates to gender and how women are portrayed?

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Activity 2: Observations in our School Pay attention to your peers, both American and international. The lunchroom is a good place for this observation!

1. How do you think the media influences them? Pay attention to how your peers are dressed and how they act.

What are they saying? How are they moving their bodies?

2. What are the males talking about? What are the females talking about? How are the dress styles (clothes) of the females different from those of the males?

3. If you could change something about the way they are speaking or walk up to them and say something to them, what would you change and what would you say? Why? 4. Do you think the media has anything to do with how they are acting, dressing, and speaking?

5. If you fast-forward 50 years, how do you think the media will show men and women differently? How do you feel about this? Why? What would you do to offer hope for women (and men?) who feel like they are victimized by the media? How could YOU change the media?

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Activity 3: Make your own Commercial You have just been hired by a top television network to create a television commercial. Here is your assignment: 1. Watch TV (Can you believe I just told you to watch TV for homework?) and look at advertisements in magazines.

What do you think of when you think of women and girls in society? (Think of descriptive words and stereotypes) What do you think of when you think of men and boys in society? (Think of descriptive words and stereotypes) 2. Choose ONE commercial (as a group) that most obviously displays one or both of these gender characteristics or stereotypes.

What product is the commercial selling?

Describe the scene in the commercial. What is going on?

3. With your group, CREATE YOUR OWN COMMERCIAL that is selling the same or a similar product BUT your commercial CANNOT have ANY of the typical gender stereotypes or even better, must REVERSE the gender stereotypes.

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BODY 1. When you look in the mirror, describe, with descriptive words, what you see.

2. When you woke up this morning, what was the first thought you had about your body?

3. What do you think others see or what do you imagine others say about your physical appearance? Do you care? Why or why not?

4. What is your FAVORITE part of your body? Why? 5. What part of your body do you feel most betrayed by?

6. Which parts of your body tell the truth? Which parts of your body lie?

7. What makes your body feel powerful? Why? 8. What makes your body feel weak? Why? 9. Which part of your body is NOT like what you see in the media? How do you feel about this? Why? 10. If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be? Why?

Activity 1: 64

Working with International Students

A Conversation with your Body 1. If you could have a conversation with a part of your body, which part would it be? Why did you choose this part?

2. What would your body part say to you? How would this part of your body speak differently to you if you were in your own country and not the U.S.?

3. What would your body part say to other people in the U.S.?

What would it say to other people in your country?

4. Write a metaphor about your body: My _______is a ______.

5. Choose a picture of something in a magazine that reminds you of the metaphor you wrote about this part of your body.

Bring this to class with a paragraph explaining, on the back, why this picture is like this part of your body. (DON’T PUT YOUR NAME ON IT.) Activity 2: Color your Body 1. This is your body (worksheet with outline of a body). With a pencil, ALTER the parts of the body to look more like yours.

2. With a RED marker or colored pencil, color the parts of your body that you really like.

3. With a BLUE marker or colored pencil, color the parts of your body that you really don’t like.

4. With a YELLOW marker or colored pencil, color the parts of your body that you do not feel strongly about one way or the other.

5. Choose either the red, blue, or yellow parts and write about why you feel this way about these parts of your body.

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IDENTITY 1. Who are you? Describe yourself in detail (physically, emotionally, spirituality, personality). What would your friends say about you? What would your family say about you? Do you agree with them? Do you like your friends? Why or why not?

2. How do you know who you are? From the time you were a baby, who and what has helped to shape how you see yourself?

THINK!!! What kinds of things have they told you? Do you believe them? Why or why not?

3. Who or what do you want to become? WHY? 4. Who or what DON’T you want to be? WHY?

5. How do your female friends see themselves? How do your male friends see themselves? How do your male friends see females? What is the difference if these women are from the U.S.? How do your female friends see males?

6. If you stare at a group of young females, what do you see?

(Look at the body language, clothes, physical actions, and behaviors.) What do you think they’re talking about?

7. If you had the chance to recreate yourself on a Facebook or myspace profile, making up your own identity, how would you describe yourself? How would you describe yourself physically? What would you say you were interested in? What are your values and goals? WHY?

8. How do you tell the difference between what others say about you and what you really think of yourself?

9. When do you feel the MOST like yourself? Why?

10. When do you feel the LEAST like yourself? Why?

11. What music do you listen to in order to feel the most like YOU? Why? Where and how do you imagine yourself while listening to this music?

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12. What is your idea of an American woman? Man? What is your idea of a woman from your country? What is your idea of a man from your country?

13. How are you different from a typical American teenager?

How are you the same? If you could change something about yourself to make you MORE different from or MORE similar to an American teenager, what would you change? WHY?

14. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What are you doing? What does your life look like? What scares and excites you about this image?

15. What expectations/societal pressures are you afraid of? Why?

16. What cultural or familial expectations are set for you? Do you think these are reasonable or unreasonable? Why? How do these expectations differ from or conflict with typical American expectations?

17. What makes you unique?

18. What do you admire in yourself?

19. What do you admire in others?

20. What makes you feel really good and confident?

21. What makes you feel weak and insecure?

20. What are the differences in how you feel when you are speaking English versus when you are speaking your first language?

21. What does HAPPY mean to you?

22. Who do you know that is happy? What makes you think he/she is happy?

23. If you could change the way women are viewed in the U.S., what would you do?

24. If you could change the way women are viewed in your country, would you? How would you change it? Why? 67

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Activity 1: American Figure Homework: Bring in an advertisement or two that for you represent an American woman. Be prepared to talk about the following in class.

Source: (Make sure you bring in a copy of your source to show the class) Title / Product / Main Idea: What about this image represents an American woman? How is this image different from one that would be in your country?

If you are female, are you the same as or different from the woman in the photo? If you are male, what do you think about how the woman looks in this photo? Do you think all women should look like this? Why or why not?

Activity 2:

Small Moments Exercise Close your eyes and think about the moment that you feel the most like yourself. Maybe this is while you are listening to a specific type of music or when you are eating a certain type of food or enjoying a favorite activity.

What is the activity, music or food?

What do you smell?

What do you taste?

What do you see?

What does your body feel on the outside and the inside?

What other sounds do you hear other than the music?

Where do you imagine yourself; what else is going on around you?

Describe this scene in detail!!! I should feel like I am there, experiencing the moment when I read this. Elaborate on your feelings!

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Activity 3:

For my Kids

1. Imagine you are older and have two children, one of your same and one of the opposite gender. You only want what is best for them! What information do you want to make sure you tell‌ Your daughter: Your son: Why is this information so important to make sure it is passed along?

Why is the information different or the same for your daughter and your son?

2. Interview a parent, guardian, teacher or mentor. Ask this person what the most important message he/she wants you to always remember as you continue to grow and mature into adulthood.

Why does he/she feel this is so important for you to know?

(Yes, you should ask this question as well).

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8.

Final Thoughts Rather than tell you how much my life has changed after working with Jess, Judi, Gloria, Lisa, and Susan, rather than tell you how differently I look at the world after getting to know girls from State College, Saudi Arabia, South Korea, Taiwan, Kyrgyzstan, Africa, the Dominican Republic, Japan, and the Ukraine, rather than tell you how many times I have been stopped on the street and in groceries stores to hear how much a parent learned about their child from Body Language 2010, I will let the girls speak for themselves. All of us wish you luck with your project, and from Jess, Judi, Gloria, Susan, Lisa, the girls, and me, we wish you the courage it takes to make a difference.

Carpe Diem

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Susan Russell, October 2010

A NIGHT OF Body Language A Part of Cultural Conversations A UNIQUE EDUCATIONAL, CULTURAL AND THEATRICAL EXPERIENCE TO DISCUSS BODY ISSUES THAT AFFECT ALL WOMEN Wednesday, March 24 at 7:30

Body Language seeks to open doors to personal potential and possibilities driven by individual skills A collaboration between Cultural Conversations, writer and speaker Jessica Weiner, the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, and students from the State College Area School District

STARRING: Anna Pearl Belinda, Aisha Kubanychbek, Victoria Staley, Casey Sommers, Yulia Smotrova, Rachel Wasbotten, Morgan Costello, Virginia Martinez, Grace Kiver, Irene Kuo, Ebtesam Althowaini, Alicia Lai, Emma Behr, Abby DeWolfe, Madii Flaherty, Maddie Brindle, Natasha McCandless, and Veronica Musser www.culturalconversations.psu.edu 71

Ghost Story

By Anna Pearl Belinda (Park Forest Middle School) When it hurt so bad she couldn’t get off the bathroom floor, it was clear.

When she sobbed so hard on her mother’s shoulder that it shook them both, it was clear.

And when she stared at her blank, mysterious lunch box, watching the others around her gobble down their lunches, it was clear, so clear, yet no one saw it.

Secrets that no one saw.

Every night she slept with her favorite stuffed animal thinking that it was the only one who loved her.

Every day she got worse and every day cold chaffed hands slipped a water bottle into a lunch box. Untrue statements suffocated her like an empty grocery bag over her head.

How did it happen? Is it the Hollister ad that shows nonrealistic perfect bodies? Is it the magazine in Wegman’s that shows pictures of abnormal looking movie stars? She doesn’t know, but every mirror she sees says “ugly girl.”

33% of all eating disorders affect children between the ages of 11 and 15, and she wasn’t the first.

She was a daughter’s daughter, each daughter passing down generations of hurt. Family and friends worry. Fights break out.

Stress rises and self-esteem lowers. Despicable.

When is enough “enough”? Don’t ask Hollister or Cosmopolitan because they don’t care. They will never care.

From Anna Pearl: OK, so this experience was amazing! (Although I didn’t learn anything I already didn’t know!) I had my eating disorder and learned all about Body Language and judging the media. The best part was when my brother came up and hugged me and gave me flowers. He’s 17, and we don’t communicate like happy go lucky brother and sister. He didn’t want to come because he thought it would be stupid, but he thought it was awesome! I loved every minute of the girl’s Body Language group. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, I love you! Sincerely, AP/Aquamarine Sapphire Topaz PS. It was also fun to get closer to the girls from other countries!

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Dominican Girl

By Virginia Martinez (State College Area High School) This is me, a Dominican girl who loves to eat and talk. The only problem is TV, magazines, and everything and anything in this world.

You show me what I should and shouldn’t do. You make me feel guilty about who I am. I want to ask you something...

Why are you torturing me? What have I done to you?

Are you torturing me because of my skin color? What can I do about it? I can’t change my skin color. You mean I can do what Michael Jackson did? I do not want to do that. So you mean I can’t be popular?

You always show me the same people over and over. Please show people like me.

I always end up listening to you, and I always fail. Nothing I do seems to work, and you do not show me anything that will solve my problems..

You are a horrible influence in my life and in other people lives too. Please, I beg you to stop. Help me to feel better about who I am. That’s the only thing I ask you for.

Please, I just want you to think about it. Just think about it.

From Virginia: When I was invited to participate in this wonderful project, I was excited but unsure about it. I was excited because I was going to be talking and I love to talk, but I just didn’t like the part that I had to say things about myself/body. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about my body. It was embarrassing to me until I realized that I wasn’t the only one. The Body Language Project helped me to realize that I was beautiful in my own way and that not just me, but every woman has a unique thing that makes her special. Now I see females as they/we are; unique, wonderful, and indescribable. There are no words that describe all female women. Now, I care less about what people around me say. We need something that describes each of us, so I am glad that everyone is unique and different. I never thought I would say these words until I did my monologue and listened to others.

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Nobody’s Perfect

By Grace Kiver (Park Forest Middle School) I could probably go down through my entire body and tell you something that I don’t like about every part of it.

My hair isn’t soft enough; my teeth aren’t straight enough; and my nose is too lumpy. But what am I comparing them to? Not soft enough. Not straight enough. What is this ‘enough’ that I measure myself against? Is it a movie star, a famous model, or the goddess of beauty and flawlessness that comes from my own imagination?

No one is perfect; I hear this phrase constantly. But nevertheless, every day, I see countless examples of women trying to be more like the goddess they have in their minds. I admit that I fall prey to this goddess almost every morning as I stand in front of the mirror, hoping to be enough. The desire to be enough sometimes rules my life.

I watch the advertisements for the new miracle that promises to make me look beautiful, and who performs in those advertisements? The goddesses. I think if you melt away the stage makeup, cheesy smiles and shiny hair, you will discover the goddesses have the same insecurities as me.

Why do I constantly compare myself to everyone else? Every time I walk through the hallways at school, I say to myself, am I walking funny? Am I holding my books in a weird way?

Does my hair look okay? Why do I let it matter so much?

It’s hard to see at first, but think about it; this was how I was designed to look. Even if I go through plastic surgery to change everything, I will still always be the person I was born to be. I have a lumpy nose, just like my grandfather, my mother, and many of my cousins. I should feel proud about my lumpy nose, since it’s a trait that has been passed down in my family. I should spend a little less time in front of the mirror in the morning and a little more time focusing on the things I am proud of. In doing this, I can train myself to be self-confident and to enjoy being me instead of trying to become somebody I’m not.

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Ukraine Glamour Girl

By Yulia Smotrova (State College Area High School) I look like a movie star.

Glamour, fashion, fit.

Eye lash curl, lip gloss glow, liner, shadows and foundation…

Done.

The hair – dyed, permed, ironed, highlighted, extended.

Blonde? Most likely.

Clothes, not a lot. Winter? So what?

High heels on, school, work, grocery shopping, or throw garbage in a bin downstairs.

I am a shadow melting in a stream of Ukrainian beauty.

Sparkles, furs, gold, silver, laces, leather.

Where do they get those clothes? I know – bazaar or contraband goods from Turkey, a quality copy of latest European catalogues.

In Ukraine, life for woman is stress. Best way to survive is smoking.

Smoke before school, during, after, always! Or champagne, wine, absinthe, pure vodka.

From 5th grade on for life, which will hopefully, but not likely, be long.

No need to carry books to school, school is for boys.

Girls are for shopping with friends to buy fake nails and cheap makeup.

We look for older guys – college kids, rich businessmen. The best option – a foreigner. Or top choice – an American.

Most marry Ukrainian. They cook, work, bear children, make food for husband and his friends every weekend, and hide from husband when he comes home drunk.

Most important thing is to look good! He married a housewife, income earner, sex machine, and top model.

Pretend you don’t see him cheat, pretend you don’t know who his mistresses are, because one misbehavior and its over for you.

A pack of cigarettes, a bottle of beer, a box of chewing gums, a bagful of make-up and mouthful of swears accompany a young, beautiful Ukrainian school girl wherever she wanders, wherever she goes.

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Boiled Down

By Victoria Staley (State College Area High School) Sometimes, we’re boiled down to a single glance.

Pressured into saying yes to that glance.

But if we do, if we succumb.

The glances turn to disgust, disappointment.

The slurs start coming.

Slut, they say. Bitch.

For girls, at least.

If a boy succumbs to the glance what happens?

A few laughs. Some rolls of the eyes.

Maybe even a few admiring looks.

That difference between us – It’s not easy. It’s not nice.

But mostly, It’s just not fair.

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Everyone has a Story

By Casey Sommers (State College Area High School) Ahh poop.

I’m not sure what I want to say But I know it’s not gonna be about my body That’s way too hard Because there are 200 people in front of me right now Can’t you tell that I’m nervous?

I can I can feel my face burning red I honestly cannot wait to get off this stage But everyone has a story, at least that’s what I’ve heard As a teenage girl, you’re probably expecting me to talk about being self-conscious Or the extreme pressure I feel to be perfect Sure, I want to fit in But I’m smart enough to realize those girls on TV are fake Smart enough to see that no one really looks like that Smart enough to understand that they’re lying So I’m smart enough to be myself At least I like to think I am

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This is Me Ebtesam Althowaini (State College Area High School) What do you see when you look at me? Come on now, be honest. Do you see me as a radical, fundamentalist terrorist packing an AK-47 assault rifle inside my brown jacket? Maybe you see a poster girl for oppressed womanhood everywhere.

This is me. This is who I want to be now and forever. Being a Muslim woman in America is harder than most people think.

Strangers speak to me in loud, slow English and often appear to be playing charades. They politely inquire how I like living in the United States, and whether or not the cold bothers me, and how do I compare the U.S. with Saudi Arabia. If I am in the right mood, it can be very amusing.

Although Saudi-born, I was raised in the U.S. I have a Western education and at age 11, I covered myself with the hijab because I wanted to be free. Wearing the hajib has given me freedom from constant attention to my physical self. Because my appearance is not subject to public scrutiny, my beauty, or perhaps lack of it, has been removed from the realm of what can be legitimately discussed. Judgment of my physical person plays no role whatsoever in social interaction. My body is my private concern, not yours.

Women are not going to achieve equality with the right to bear their breasts in public as some would have you believe. True equality will be achieved only when women stop the need to display themselves. As a Muslim woman, I have chosen modesty over following the next clothing trend. And I have accepted myself and my way of life.

This is me. This is who I want to be now and forever.

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The Sleepover

By Maddie Brindle (State College Area High School) The sleepover was a disaster. Why did you do that? Call the boys, ask them to rate us, like objects. The best-looking to the ugliest. Of course the first two on the list were the popular girls. Sure I wasn’t last, but I wasn’t first either. I saw the tears.

As the list neared 9, her name still hadn’t been said.

My birthday! You gave me the worst present. Why? You thought it would be funny? It wasn’t. No. Why do they think they’re so much better than me? The “popular group.” Believe me, I’ve seen them, and there is nothing special there, it’s just an illusion. The drama, small arguments seem like wars, yet they all keep that appearance, that inviting look of perfection that girls long to have. But it’s never really there, it’s a trick of the eye.

The drama that exists is overwhelming. As hard as you try to stay apart from it, it engulfs you like a monster, and it will suck you in. A grasp so tight, you feel suffocated. Those girls who look so nice, pretty, inviting, aren’t true. Any secret isn’t safe in the hands of those girls. The rumors begin, and you are right in the middle of it. Backstabbers. Everything is a lie.

This look of perfection isn’t worth losing the friends that care the most about you. It’s better to keep away, trust that you, as yourself, will be better than anything they think they are. But you had better keep faking that pleasant, perfect mirage.

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Foreigner

By Irene Kuo (State College Area High School) I still remember the first day I came here. I can still feel the pressure. Everyone looked at me like I didn’t belong here. What is the matter? Is it because I look different? Because I speak another language?

No one talked to me. People just ignored me. They didn’t care because I am a foreigner. I felt sad because ‘’All men are created equal’’! This is not the treatment I expected in the U.S. Two years have passed and I speak up in class and participate more. But then the other problem came. I need friends! How can I live without friends? I don’t want to die lonely!

People here already have their own crews and it’s very hard to get in. I don’t really know the reason! Maybe it’s just because they know each other since kindergarten? Or maybe it is my appearance?

Maybe it’s not my fault! Maybe society needs to change!

Maybe they need to be more open to other cultures and be more accepting of other people.

From Irene: “Body Language” is the unavoidable subject that everyone needs to face and take lessons for. [sic] This influences our life and our future. So we need you to take some thoughts as a reader and influence everybody around you.

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This is Hard

By Aisha Kubanychbek (State College Area High School) This is hard. This is really hard. So many flaws in this mirror.

Insecurities start jumping at you at once.

If I was in my hometown, my birthplace, where my sweet family is, I would be ashamed.

I’m not good enough like this for aunts, uncles, cousins.

I am not skinny as cousins or other girls back home.

I want to live my life.

I do not want regrets.

Who am I? Answer me!

Back home, I am for men. A man sees you and wants you to be a slave for him.

A housewife it’s called.

Live with his parents, take care of them, take care of children, of husband, cleaning, washing, fetching food and cooking.

You refuse?

Then you are stolen by this man.

Romantic? No, it is not. You have never glanced at this man, but this man will steal you.

You leave him, it is a “disgrace” they say.

This is hard.

This place called home.

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Dear Mary

By Emma Behr (Park Forest Middle School) Dear Mary, I am writing to make sure you know what an incredibly unique and special girl you are. I absolutely love being with you, and I’m finding that the more time I spend with you and your spirited charm, the more I can relate to you.

I understand that being eight is a very tough time in your life – you are trying to define your style, your personality, your identity. I would be honored to guide you down that road so full of potholes and confusing bends. I want to lead you every step of the way on your path to enlightenment and self-discovery. I wish to be your hero, but I don’t want you to feel that you must be my identical twin.

Thanks you, Mary, for always being there to adore me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hopefully, together as sisters we can solve this identity crisis.

From Emma: Body Language was an eye-opening experience for me. Not only did I get to see, hear, and read what so many other girls like me were feeling, thinking, and going through, I lived it right along with them. I made friends, laughed a lot, and learned the incredibly necessary ability to be brave, to speak out about how you feel. I feel I have greatly benefitted in mind, body, and soul from this marvelous program. Thank you so much!

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Sisters

By Abby DeWolfe (Park Forest Middle School) Dear Emily, When we go to the bathroom in the morning to get ready for school, it makes me want to change my hair, clothes, and make-up to look as good as you. I don’t think I’m ugly or fat, I just think you’re prettier than me.

I know that looks aren’t all that count, but it is so hard when I have a big sister as gorgeous as you. You have so many friends, and so many boys after you that I just feel a little down on myself sometimes. Because how could I ever match up to someone as extraordinary as you?

I know that I’ll make more friends as I get older, but for now I just feel jealous a lot. You always have Friday night plans, which makes me feel stupid when I don’t. You’re my favorite person in the world, and sometimes it seems like we’re not equals. I’ve tried to tell you so many times, and I wish you would understand when I try to explain how I’m feeling.

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Dancing my Heart Out!

By Natasha McCandless (State College Area High School) You look around, and what do you see?

Oppressed personalities.

Girls who are trying to fit in and be “popular.”

Girls who are trying to impress boys.

Young ladies, who, in their striving to be liked lose their true selves.

They put on false faces of sticky sweet make-up.

Smile fake smiles and flirt unashamedly.

And they fight with each other over the stupidest things.

I look at them and wonder, what do they see when they look at me?

Should I care?

No. I’m comfortable the way I am.

So, why do I find it hard to talk to boys?

You know what, never mind. What the heck.

I’ll just be myself, have fun with friends.

Dance my heart out.

And everything else should fall into place.

From Natasha: Meeting with Susan and the other girls involved in this project was one of the highlights of my year (9th grade.) This past year was one of my least self-confident school years ever, due to some events in school and dance. I think that the Body Language project really helped me regain some confidence in myself throughout the year.

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Teenage Girl

By Morgan Costello (State College Area High School) Yes, I’m a teenage girl, and you probably expect Me to be self conscious and unhappy with my body.

That’s the norm now, isn’t it?

But, isn’t homegrown better?

I thought everybody wanted the healthy, the raw, the organic.

That is hard to come by these days.

But if homegrown is better, then why is plastic inserted into bodies, Maybelline on lips, Color contacts, Nose jobs, There’s a way to “fix” everything that’s wrong.

Then they give us the starved big-eyed paper dolls And say “Look at this!”

We follow without a doubt.

Everyone else is, why not me?

So hard the break out of the marching line of toy soldiers, All walking mindlessly to the same, unreachable goal of Perfection.

From Morgan: The Body Language project helped me accept me and my body for what it is and not what the media says it should be.

I’ve learned so much about other countries and their views of women. Since the Body Language project, I’ve tried my hardest not to judge people on their outward appearance, but who they are on the inside.

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So You Want To Know Who I Am?

By Alicia Lai (Park Forest Middle School) I am the girl wandering the bookshelves for hours and running her fingers along the engraved spines and laying her back against the apostrophes, climbing onto nouns and conjunctions and commas, and sticking post-its notes onto verbs until she thinks the words have bled through the paper and stained her hands. And, she breathes in the fresh-inked words because, she thinks, they smell like hope. I am the one breaking apart the dictionary because the words just don’t fit and into a jumbled collage that doesn’t make any sense; and throwing off my skin because I just swear it’s too tight.

I’m that girl who spelled out her name in the sand castles she built before the tide and watched as the waters took it back and away. I am the one who tracked her steps over the checkered tablecloth that summer until her fringes met with theirs and tracked a path into all that wilderness. I am the girl who listened to the siren’s song and wrote the melody on the back of folded napkins and in the constellations, who had whispered into conch shells because, wouldn’t mermaids come riding on their white horse-drawn chariots of the sea?

Oh, and I am the girl running and not caring and catching falling stars that have disintegrated and burned holes into her until she could see right through her transparent body and onto the rolling landscape behind. I’m that girl who wanted to fly and was set free to fiery comets and waning moon; and the one wishing, hoping, once upon a time, until I glanced up and see not half-strewn dreams, but horses racing across the clouds. I am the girl throwing kerosene onto the stars and setting the moon alight and staring until I see faces reflected in the flickers. I’m tearing at the threads that bind me but embracing the forget-me-nots and roses and smiles, because, when I finally burst apart, at least my insides will be beautiful.

I am casting wings of wax and feathers and dreams until they can raise me higher. I love even as I pull wishbones apart and unfold myself across the grass—so I can pick out the parts I like. Even as I’m breaking the ice and breaking the chains, 86

I’m piecing together the puzzles half red and blue and green until they create another world for me. And afterwards, I throw them into the air and watch as the pieces come raining down, because when the world is spinning, I can seal fireflies and memories into jars so I won’t ever forget.

I’m the girl who could never make up her mind, because she could see the right and wrong in both, and maybe that was a good thing? Because I’ve stumbled, I’ve tripped, I’ve curled my toes around the edges of cliffs with my face in the wind until I turn around, splattered with ideas and caught in a fine spiderweb, but I’ve always regained my balance.

Because I’m a girl who’s a dreamer.

Because I’m a girl who dared to hope.

But mostly because, I’m just this girl.

From Alicia: Who are you? Who are we? The things that define us, our beliefs and values, the people we are, what we’ll laugh for, cry for – can’t be judged from the outside, and never will. In preparation for the Body Language event, I was able to work with a wonderful group of other girls; the experience made me think about myself and the influences of our world.

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Beautiful

By Madii Flaherty (Park Forest Middle School) When I was younger, I didn’t wonder why my Mom and Dad didn’t live together. I also didn’t wonder why I cried for Mom when I was in trouble with Dad, or cried for Dad when I was in trouble with Mom. I didn’t wonder a lot of these things until I was older.

My whole life I have known only a few people. Those are my Mom, Dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and my cousin Catie.

Catie has always been like an older sister to me. I followed Catie’s example in everything. She thought it was annoying, but I thought it was the best thing in the world to look like her.

Later, I learned to develop my own style. This is important because it shows that not only can I go against the ever changing current of fads, I can also change them. Girls everywhere are constantly faced with the challenges of “I wanna look like that” or “I wish I had this,” but if we can take a moment and look at ourselves and say what it is about them that I so desperately need to look like, we can change the way we see ourselves.

Now, I know I am beautiful just the way I am.

From Madii: This experience made me realize how close and relative we all are regarding our own insecurities.

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A Walk In The Garden

By Veronica Musser (State College Area High School) A walk in the garden, many beautiful flowers to see.

Roses, their sharp thorns a warning to not get close enough to the see the imperfections.

Tulips, their big petals covering what’s inside, the inner beauty.

The moonlight flower, only blooming at night so no one can see what it really looks like.

The morning glory, blooming in the daytime, but getting its beauty rest at night to make sure it looks perfect.

The sweet scent of a Daffodil, put on to draw you in.

The Bleeding Heart flower shows its real feelings about itself.

An Orchid needs many complements and much attention or else it will wither away.

Why must everything be so complicated?

Everyone is self conscious But I’m not! I’m the gardener. You know, I’m pretty cool with my gardening gloves and shovel.

I water all of the flowers and give them confidence.

Because I am confident in myself.

At This Very Moment

By Rachel Wasbotten (Park Forest Middle School) At this very moment, my whole life has changed. I thought I’d be ready for this, I dreamt about this opportunity, yet when it finally shows I am skittish and scared. Alas, these moments convey the same feelings I get waiting in line for a new roller coaster. It is the nervous anxiety, tension, and fear filling every part of my body. But soon enough, I’m on the ride, hands in the air, screaming!

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10.

Resources and Terms Dove. “The Campaign for Real Beauty.” www.thecampaignforrealbeauty.com Dove. “Dove Movement for Self-Esteem” www.dovemovement.com Dove. “Girls Only” Zone with quizzes, games, and handbooks for girls: www.dove.us/#/CFRB/GirlsOnly/tools.aspx Weiner, Jessica. “Workshop Videos” on the topics Self-Esteem, Media Influences, Shaping Beauty, Communicating, Self-Esteem Tool, The Promise: www.dove.us/#/cfrb/gallery/jess.aspx Weiner, Jessica. “Creating a Nation of Confident Women and Girls” www.jessweiner.com Dramaturgical Handbook: The dramaturgy part of this project can be something headed by a middle or high school students. Dramaturgy is the history behind the issue, which in this case is of self-esteem and body image in the 21st century, and Google is your best friend. Just search “female body image” or “female self-esteem,” and you will be amazed at the articles that come up. Another part of dramaturgy is putting together visual images of the issue from magazines and newspapers, and listing books and films and music that speak about girls in a specific way. Everyone can be a part of the dramaturgy aspect of the project and contribute pictures and music they feel are important to talk about. What this does is ground the project in a real conversation that is taking place all across the country.

Ground Rules: The Ground Rules should be created as a team and incorporate ideas like tolerance, respect, appreciation, and self-esteem.

Planning Sheets: The planning sheets are for general goal setting and simply ask different questions depending on what you are doing. For example:

“What will you do this month for Me, Myself and I?” – work on movie, write monologue, interview students, write an article for the newspaper, etc.

Additional resources are available on the author page at w w w. e i f r i g p u b l i s h i n g . c o m .

We welcome you to share your stories there as well!

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About the Author: SUSAN RUSSELL is on the theatre faculty at Penn State University. She received her PhD in Theatre Studies and MA from Florida State University, and her BA in Theatre from St. Andrews Presbyterian College in Laurinburg, NC. Between education pursuits, she experienced a twenty-five year career as a professional actor on and off-Broadway, in regional theatre and at opera companies across the country. While performing for five years in Phantom of the Opera, she was an artist/teacher for New York Offstage where she created, developed, and implemented workshops in musical theatre performance and acting, and created and developed arts-based education programs for New York City Opera.

As a playwright, her works, Olympia (1998) and Present Perfect (1999) have been produced by the Emerging Artist Theatre in New York City, in 2000, Lincoln Center selected Present Perfect for its Millennium Living Room Festival at the HERE Theatre in Soho.

Her play Severe Clear was a semi-finalist in the 2006 O’Neill Theatre Center Playwriting Competition, and her 2009 play, Ecoute: Pieces of Reynaldo Hahn, toured 40 venues in the United States, starring PSU School of Theatre faculty member, Norman Spivey.

At Penn State, Susan teaches graduate and undergraduate playwriting, musical theatre history, graduate literature and criticism, and Women and Theatre.

In 2007, she created Cultural Conversations, which is a new visual, theatre, and dance festival devoted to promoting and fostering new works that circle themes of global and local diversity. She is editor of the academic journal Cultural Conversations: Works in Progress/Writers in the Making, which has its debut in February of 2011, and in 2010 she published Body Language: Cultural Conversations, Reaching Out and Reaching In, which is a day-byday template for school programs that uses playwriting, media, and public performance to explore social and cultural issues that affect elementary, middle, and high school girls.

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