Be a Good Neighbor

by Jane Bozza

Everybody loves Mr. Rogers, and can probably recite his signature song, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Yet there’s another quote attributed to Fred Rogers that is not quite as well known, but is especially appropriate for this story: “Anyone who helps a child in his life is a hero to me.”

Barry Porter looks towards a bright future

Possibly no one was more of a children’s advocate than Mr. Rogers, and he was definitely a hero in his own right. But, heroes come in many shapes and ages and from all walks of life. The staff and advocates that serve at the Glynn Community Crisis Center are most certainly heroes. For over 35 years, the Glynn Community Crisis Center has opened its arms to those fleeing from domestic violence, including their children. A variety of child-specific programs are offered, including stress-relieving dog therapy. Other activities provided include board games, outdoor play, reading time, movies and other special events throughout the year.

There is no question that domestic violence takes its toll on the adults in those relationships, but, often, little attention is given to the children and youth in those homes. More than five million children witness domestic violence each year in the US. 40 million adult Americans grew up living with some level of domestic violence. These are not just statistics. These numbers relate to current and former children of domestic violence; real children and adults who struggle to survive and cope on a daily basis.

Through Amity House, an emergency shelter, the Glynn Community Crisis Center has supported and empowered victims in creating a new life, free of domestic violence. The Glynn Community Crisis Center staff and advocates are very sensitive to the needs and feelings of the children. The Agency’s Outreach Coordinator Kathlene Manor recently assisted a client and her 16-year-old son at Amity House. “We helped register him for school, and prior to attending the first day, he expressed concern about not having the right shoes for school. As his advocate, it became important for us to ensure that he had a pair of shoes that he would not feel out of place wearing as a new student in a new school. After collaborating with another agency, we were able to get the youth a brand new pair of shoes.” She continues, “He was so excited. He cleaned his shoes daily, and the smile on his face let us know that he felt at peace among his peers, even though he was living in a domestic violence shelter.”

Glynn Community Crisis Center Coordinator Kathlene Manor: a hero.

The Agency’s Child/Family Advocate, Rachel Edwards, is watchful of the children, to ensure that their needs are met. “A client came into Amity House with her seven year old daughter. When it was time to go to school, (continues)

the daughter expressed concern about starting a new school without her hair being done.” Rachel explained, “It was important for the child to begin a new school without feeling badly about the way she looked. I could tell it affected her self-esteem. We reached out to a staff member, who agreed to do the little girl’s hair in a stylish, but age-appropriate manner.” She continued, “We all know how one’s outer appearance can be judged by peers and become a source of bullying. Getting her hair done made a world of difference for this child. She was like a ray of sunshine, smiling from ear to ear every day we saw her.”

Glynn Community Crisis Center Advocate Rachel Edwards: a hero.

Executive Director Dottie Bromley says, “One of the many goals of the Glynn Community Crisis Center is to help the kids feel as at-home as possible and to provide a safe environment that allows the children to have the opportunity to express themselves without censorship. It’s bringing the child back to the place of being a child and doing childlike things.” She stresses, “It is important for children who experience domestic violence, or other traumatic situations in their lives, to have a chance to feel as normal as possible, and that includes how they present to other children. Whether it’s hair, clothing, shoes or a jacket, they want to appear to be like any other child, not poor, not living in a shelter, not wearing hand-medown clothes.”

Glynn Community Crisis Center Executive Director Dottie Bromley: a hero, leading other heroes.

Dedicated to providing comprehensive services to victims and their children, the agency operates four distinctive programs: Amity House, an emergency shelter and crisis hotline; Hope House and Housing Assistance, devoted to helping survivors move into independent housing, while maintaining the support they need; Outreach Client Services, which provides support for the agency’s non-residential clients; and Community Outreach/ Education, which offers prevention programs for agencies and groups within Glynn and McIntosh counties in order to break the cycle of domestic violence. Each incentive is a key component in the transformation from victims to survivors, and exemplifies the Glynn Community Crisis Center’s vision of caring for victims of domestic violence, as well as its commitment to breaking the cycle of violence through education.

“Many parents think that their children’s lives are not impacted by the domestic violence. But, sadly, the children are, and many who do not seek help are four times as likely to become abusers themselves, or victims,” said the Agency’s Lead Victims Advocate Charmaine Thomas. “I encourage all victims/survivors that I work with to seek counseling for their children. As an agency, we encourage the parents to spend quality time with their children and to listen to them. It is important that the family is renewed and can focus on rebuilding after leaving the abuse. I always say, the children are our future and we need to invest in them today in order to have a better tomorrow,” Charmaine concluded.

Glynn Community Crisis Center Lead Victims Advocate Charmaine Thomas: a hero.

Brave, courageous, and a child of domestic violence, Barry Porter is definitely headed for a better tomorrow. Barry’s mother, Titania Cook, shared, “Unfortunately, my son, and all my children, have been exposed to domestic violence all of their lives. I feel so bad to have to admit that, but it is the truth. One that I have to deal with.” Barry was eight when his siblings and his mother went to Amity House, having escaped from domestic violence in Virginia. “I went to Amity House,” explained Titania. “And I am so grateful that I was able to go there. They made sure my children and I were safe, and assisted me in coming up with a plan to work on stabilizing my family.” Now, almost 10 years later, Titania has a good job, is active in the community, and she and her children have their own place.

Titania Cook and son Barry Porter

A mother, a domestic violence survivor, Titania Cook: a hero.

Although Barry is a quiet, soft-spoken young man, one can’t help but feel the strength of this 17-year-old. “When I was younger, I felt helpless and alone. I was too small and too young to protect my mom and brother,” said Barry. “I was angry and frustrated.” Slated to graduate from Glynn Academy in May, Barry is still weighing his options as to what to do then. One possibility, he said, is to go to culinary school. In the meantime, in order to redirect his anger and frustration of domestic violence, Barry vents his emotions through music.

Barry has written a rap song that warns of the dangers of domestic violence, speaks to the fear and loneliness, and encourages change, which is the title of the song. Set to the background music of Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror,” the lyrics of “Change” draw you in to Barry’s hope for change, not in just himself and his family, but also in the world. “I’m going to deliver this earth from the violence and pain ...” (continues)

The full song lyrics can be heard on YouTube by searching for YRH Eman’on Doee. Barry’s goal is to encourage those who find themselves a part of the abuse to direct their emotions toward positive actions rather than negative. “My real hope for the future is that someday I can set up a fund that will help children of domestic violence. I want to be able to give them a place to feel safe, where they won’t feel alone or scared,” said Barry. “I want to someday be able to have enough money to take a group to a camp or the beach or just out somewhere for the day, so that they can enjoy some time and have fun like a child is supposed to have, without fear or pain.”

A high school senior, a child of domestic violence, a survivor, Barry Porter: a hero of today, and, quite possibly, of tomorrow.

A non-profit entity, the Glynn Community Crisis Center/Amity House relies on grants, private donations and community support to fund their programs and facilities. Its primary fundraiser is A Taste of Glynn, which will be held on April 14 at The King and Prince Beach & Golf Resort. You can show your support by attending. So, on behalf of Mr. Rogers and the adults and children of domestic violence, since you are already their neighbor, now won’t you be their hero, too?

A TASTE OF GLYNN

A Taste of Glynn will celebrate its 19th year on April 14. It will once again host some of the area’s most talented chefs and caterers showcasing their talents in the historic and picturesque setting of The King and Prince Beach & Golf Resort. Along with the culinary tasting, there will be a Silent Auction that offers a variety of items ranging from vacations, jewelry and original art to gourmet delicacies. The event will be held from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m.

While enjoying the finest food in the region, attendees help to provide vital programs and shelter for those building a new life free from abuse and fear. All proceeds from the event benefit the Glynn Community Crisis

The culinary team from the College of Coastal Georgia at A Taste of Glynn

Center, Amity House, Hope House and Outreach. Tickets may be purchased in advance for $45 per person or at the door for $60 per person.

For more information, call 912.264.1348, email atasteofglynn.com, or visit eventbrite.com/atasteofglynn

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