Buffering By Emily Harley
INT. SPACESHIP COCKPIT - DAY A man, CAPT. RANDALL SKELL, swings into view as he faces the dusty control console of a spaceship. Skell flicks a few switches and checks the gauges. He pushes forward a lever and powers on the systems. Light blink and the engines hum to life. SKELL Computer? Begin launch sequence. Suddenly, a screeching noise engulfs the cockpit. Dial-up. Skell covers his ears and braces himself against the console. The screeching stops. Three chimes sing out. Skell opens one eye warily. He dusts off the console with a disgusted look.. SKELL This piece of scrap metal shouldn’t even be licensed to fly anymore... Let’s just get this mission over and done with. The engines roar to life and Skell grips the thrusters beside his chair. AUTOMATED VOICE (V.O.) Launch successful. Now loading PATHWAYS: Navigational Droid. SKELL Pathways? But ships haven’t run Pathways since... since... The engines roar. A beat. Skell glances around the cockpit. Another beat. SKELL Hello? No response. Skell rolls his eyes. He shrugs and pushes forward the thrusters. NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) MAKE AN IMMEDIATE U-TURN IF POSSIBLE. Skell screams and violently jerks the thrusters. The cockpit jolts but Skell quickly straightens.
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2.
SKELL Nice of you to finally pop in, Nav Droid. A long pause. Skell glances around again. He notices one of the screens displays a buffering icon. SKELL Oh for the love ofNAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) PROCEED TO THE HIGHLIGHTED ROUTE. Skell looks at the screen again. Still buffering. SKELL What route? There is noNAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) MAKE A LEFT TURN IN 200 SECTOMETERS. SKELL You know, maybe if you’d finish loading I couldNAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) MAKE A LEFT TURN IN 100 SECTOMETERS. Buffering still. SKELL Look, I can’t do anything withoutNAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) MAKE AN IMMIEDATE LEFT TURN. Skell slams the left thruster and leans with his whole body, as if that will help. Gritting his teeth, he looks at the screen. Buffering. SKELL Oh come on. Silence. Skell looks around the cockpit. He settles back in his seat. His hands loosen their grip on the thrusters and he starts to relax-
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3. NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) RECALCULATING ROUTE. SKELL I turned when you told me to!
A beat. NAVIGATIONAL DROID LOCATING SATELLITE. SKELL What the shiNAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) Did you say?: SHIFTING TO WARP DRIVE SKELL What? No! Cancel! Deactivate! NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) DESTABILIZING. The cockpit begins to violently shake. SKELL S-S-S-S-TAB-TAB-STOP. The ship slams to an abrupt halt. Skell is pulled forward but is forced yanked by his restraint. SKELL We good now? Buffering. SKELL I’ll take that as a yes. He drums his fingers on the thrusters. SKELL Estimated arrival time? NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) Activate weapons? SKELL What? No! No! No weapons! Where did you even get that from? A long pause. Skell’s hand tugs at his hair.
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4.
NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) Continue on for four thousand sectometers. SKELL God. Thank you. Weapons... for Christ’s sake this is an embassy mission! He leans back in the chair and twists his head to crack his neck. Unknown to Skell, the buffering icon on the screen is replaced with text: DEPLOY? Y/N? INT. SPACESHIP COCKPIT - DAY SKELL (O.S.) Yes! Thank you Ambassador. I will convey your gratitude to the Republic. Yes, yes- you won’t regret this! Bay doors swish shut and Skell opens up the cockpit door with a satisfied grin. SKELL Another embassy mission successfully completed. And now we are done for the day! Complete! Finished! Yes! A low hum fills the cockpit. Skell looks at the screen and is surprised to not see the buffering icon. SKELL Computer? The screen reads: CONFIRM COMMAND? SKELL What? Yes. Confirm. I am so ready to go home. Laid-back, Skell puts his feet up on the console. He closes his eyes. NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) DEPLOYING MISSILES. Skell’s eyes snap open.
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5.
CUT TO BLACK. NAVIGATIONAL DROID (V.O.) RECALULATING.