Assertiveness in Recovery BY NOEL NEU on June 7th, 2013
Through active addiction, close relationships tend to decline in health, leading towards an imbalance where the addict takes the role of the dependent and the codependent continues to progress with the disease of addiction. As the addict is introduced to recovery, and begins to become actively engaged in treatment, growth and progress is made, promoting a more interdependent lifestyle. Education on the importance of interdependence as a byproduct of taking personal responsibility is critical in improving the health of the relationship. Any personal responsibility for the lack of balance, addressing the underlying issue of discord is integral in developing communication health. Assertiveness training is integral in using the “When you… I feel…” technique as a means to help the addict and the codependent identify problematic areas while addressing their feelings at the same time. If this is not addressed, the relationship will continue to with the codependent remaining unhealthy, and if the addict continues to passively engage in conflict, emotions will be stuffed resulting in outbursts, leaving the addict at a high risk of relapse. When learning to assertively address an issue, an addict is able to step outside of the conflict and allow the other person involved to either continue to engage in unhealthy behaviors, or look at personal issues that may ultimately be feeding the conflict, removing unwarranted blame from the addict. This release of blaming and being blamed develops an environment of trust allowing the relationship and the addict a safer place to heal.