Vegebattle by Empix Multimedia

nce upon a time, like all times, there is the vegetables war. It is important to know that among the Here there is a personage that is difficult to notice but his presence is very important. Every day he is shut up in his small house, and he never goes out, never participates in military operations, never has a good time with the troops. He is Mr. Garlic, a prodigious inventor. He is very ingenious and has the head crowded by too much cloves and too much disordered ideas. For example, if Mr. Garlic is inattentive, he could ask a glass of water in this way: â&#x20AC;&#x153; You can me give a glass of water?â&#x20AC;? Moreover the Garlics, like the Fennels,

have a way of speaking very particular, and thus the last phrase should be said in this way: “ You can me give a glassgarlic of watergarlic?” For this reason, although he is a genius, Mr. Garlic is never understood by anybody, but he doesn’t todishearten and continues to create new inventions. The Captain Tom and the Sergeant Christopher Columbus go to the scientist laboratory to see if there are ready new creations when they meet the inventor that sings and jumps. “Hoo-ha, hoogarlic-hagarlic!” “Mr. Garlic” Tom scolds him, “this is no a soldier behavior!” It’s finished! Finished is it!” shouts Mr. Garlic, pirouetting here and there. “Have you finished a new military machine?” “It is a masterpiecegarlic! Quick! Came to see it! All peoplegarlic came here!” When the troops heard Mr. Garlic, they go to the hausegarlic with curiosity and they already know that there is ready

a magnificent idea! “Mr. Garlic,” grumbles Tom “you should be more discreet. Every time that you invent a new thing, you can’t keep it secret!” “It’s fault of enthusiasm! However when you will see it, you realize that it’s a big invention! In front of the small house there is a big wood door with a tiny bolt. “Let’s go back” the scientist shouts “ I have to prepare it”. The troops go back. The Captain Tom goes in front of the entry waiting with patience that the inventor gives vent to his oddities that all people already know. Mr. Garlic gives his clothes a quick brush, he combs his hair, and he cleans his glasses and then, clearing his voice, says: “And now clear your glassesgarlic! This is the Sweeping sprinkler!” The door opens and the entire Here are amazed at the exceptional military machine inside the laboratory. It is a big tin sprinkler with two wheels. It is full of tubes and lever that came out from all sides, has a lateral door and a chair above the handgrip. “This weapon is very powerful” explains the scientist, striving to speak in an understandable way for everyone. “A pilot is inside the machine and he drives flat out towards the enemygarlic. The Sweeping sprinkler breaks through every thing that it meets and nothing can stop it. A marksman is in the upper chair and when we are in the enemy lines...spraff! Water! “And what it waters?” 6

“It waters the verdigrisgarlic!” “Ohhh” say all together the vegetables that are amazed and struck. “Ah! He wants to say verdigris!” says Pumpkid, the pumpkin, after a half minute. “You always understand after the others, big pumpkin!” Crock, the potato, rebukes him. “But the verdigris burns so much” adds Pumpkid after another half minute. “Certainlygarlic!” replies Tom that is enthusiastic about it. “We can leave now! We only need the pilot and the sniper. Sergeant Christopher Columbus, who you advice?” “Our best sniper is Beta, the beetroot”. “Eh, eh!” sneers the beetroot making his way through the crowd. “It will be very easy for me to water them like begonias! You can count on me!” “Very good. But who will pilot the device?” asks Tom that is doubtful, scanning his troops. “The potato? The pumpkin? Absolutely not! Maybe....” “ There is a newcomer...” hazards Artichopher Columbus “...an former sailor of the Giualmar field. He drove some boats, he could be able...”

“ Perfect, contact him immediately!” “I’m here!” exclaims someone from the bottom. The vegetables make room for passing him and it come out a big aubergine with a sailor hat and gold buttons. He seems sure of himself and has a mocking glance. “ I’m Seadog and when I was in the old garden, I was the best of all. I wasn’t afraid of nothing,...I’m very clever, fearless, expert....”

“Ok” Tom interrupts him. “But, are you able to drive the Sweeping sprinkler?” “Ah, ah! For me it is very easy to drive that crock! I drove the life preserver “FLOATING DUCK” in the irrigation canal amid a storm. I could drive that toy without hands!” “This isn’t a toy!” shouts Mr. Garlic listening these worlds. “This a military terrible machine is!”

Are you a bigheadgarlic!” “Calm down” blandishes him the Captain Tom. “ You know how are these sea fellows. However I want to prove you. Beta and Seadog go to launch an attack with the Sweeping sprinkler!” “Immediately” replies Beta and he jumps on the turret with two jumps. “ You will see if I’m good” says the aubergine with calm. He arrives to the door and tries to slip into, but the doors are too much small for his belly and he can’t get in. Therefore he tries to enter in profile but he can’t manage. “Ehm...I’ve made it with regard to my measures” Mr. Garlic apologizes for it. Seadog holds his breath and slips into the machine with a jump getting in with the face and the arms in front of the control cloche, while the bottom and the foots came out from the maquine.

The aubergine begins to push the bottoms and to pull the levers that are in front of him and so, between thuds and clicks, the attack of the Sweeping sprinkler starts. The Captain Tom looks thoughtfully at the maquine that advances shaking, with the Seadog’s foots which come out from it, and at Mr. Garlic that is writing, “Enlarging the doorgarlic” in a notebook. “Sergeant Artichopher, I don’t know why, but I have a bad sensation.” Just at that moment, a worm comes out of the ground with a roll of paper on his mouth, “Captain Tom, it is arrived a carrier worm with a message” says Christopher Columbus, taking the letter from the mouth of the small carrier that returns underground soon. “Quick, read it!” “It’s the Captain of the Giualmar field that has written the letter. He says:

While Artichopher reads it, Tom turns pale more and more, in his eye begins a nervous tic and he is slowly crushing ashore. Mr. Garlic goes to wave a handkerchief on the Tom face grumbling: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh my clove! What a bad situation for the Mr. Garlic machine!â&#x20AC;? Meanwhile the Sweeping sprinkler menacing advances towards the enemy lines, many clods and tufts of grass fly from it. In the There lines, El-Maize is on sentry-duty in the guard tower, or, to be more careful, he is sit down with his head in the clouds hugging the photo of his harem to his heart: a immense maize field. In fact El-Maize, although is a good soldier, has just a weakness: the wifes! When our lady-killer meets a beautiful ripe cob, he has to court and marry her. Then, when he is in love of all (and now he 12

has 7.527 cobs), in each free time he thinks about them with mawkish thoughts. “My darling! What are you doing now?” sighs the big cob, and among his hiccups he lets down the glance towards the field that he should control. On the horizon, something of shining attracts his attention... “what is it? I need of a binoculars!” El-Maize takes a bellflower from the stem and he watches inside it, but he is amazed about what he is watching: a sprinkler with two wheels that advances flat out, with a hot-headed beetroot in the above seat and two small violet foots that came out from the lateral door. “I’ve to give the alarm” panting says, collecting himself from the surprise, and then using the bellflower as a trumpet, he flows in it with all his strength:

PEREPE PEREPE !

All the There soldiers go to the trench and watch amazed the big machine that advances. “Don’t stay there bewildered!” shouts the Captain Pell “ Make a counterattack! Shoot the MIS.SI.LE./P!” Pea-bullets are shot from the shoot-tubes that therefore they miserably rebound on the tin of the Sweeping sprinkler and on the shield to protect the seat of Beta. “Tickle us” sneers the beetroot. “Mr. Garlic, you have thought about all thinks!” 13

However, actually, MR. Garlic have not thought about the two foots of aubergine that came out from the door, and in fact one of the peas arrives there and it bites Seadog in the calf. says the sailor lashing out, “Go away from there!” But the small heroic pea doesn’t slacken his hold and savages more tenaciously. Seadog have to take a hand out of the wheel and thread it out of the door to land the pea a punch, but also the arm gets stuck and so he have to drive the Sweeping sprinkler just with a hand. The fantastic military ma-

“Ahia”

chine of Mr. Garlic starts to slide when the target is near to it. “Sailor, drive well! I’m taking aim to verdigris them!” Beta shouts while he is preparing the foresight, then he takes out the safety catch, he takes aim and... The pea bites stronger in the calf of the aubergine, the machine slides, the wheel goes above a stone and so the sprinkler turns around itself. Beta shoots a lot of verdigris and he finds himself in the middle of it, while the machine throws out Seadog. The sweeping sprinkler turns again around itself and the machine finds itself to go towards Mr. Garlic and the Here without anybody that drives it. The Captain Tom, who has collected himself, shouts: “Mr. Garlic, stop that machine!” “ I can’t it do!” Mr. Garlic mumbles, hugging with Artichopher Columbus. In the meantime, Seadog, who is finally free, remove the pea-bullet from his calf and he kicks it away towards the enemy lines hitting the center of the cauldron where the cook is preparing the slop.

GoAl! the poor soaked devil says. And it isn’t wrong to lament: that slop isn’t good to eat and when it clings to something it doesn’t go away any more... In the meantime, the crazy Sweeping sprinkler sweeps away everything it meets, and it pulverizes the Here lines like if they

are made of paper-pulp. Then it has run dangerously around the poor huts of the troops, and it has throwed into the small house of Mr. Garlic flat out. The hellish device destroys the Mr. Garlic’s house and it doesn’t slow down his running, but it stops itself only when it crashes into a big shoot-tube. “My poor laboratory...” Mr. Garlic whimpers, and he even doesn’t

mistake the worlds. “At least he hasn’t watered us!” Pumpkid says, after an half minute, to comfort him...But at that time, Beta is on the tower yet, and while he is scratching furiously because of the verdigris, he pushes accidentally the lever of the trigger and PUFF.... a lot of verdigris waters the Here field. “It is possible that I can’t trust on anybody!” Captain Tom shouts. He is totally green and we can’t know if because of the verdigris that has covered him or for the anger. “How we can win the war if I’m encircled by incapables, amateurs, stupids! I confine you to barracks! I put you inside forever, AAARGHHHH!!!!” Although he shouts like a madman, nobody hears him, not even his faithful Artichopher Columbus: now in the Here field there is total panic. All vegetables runs about trying in vain to escape from the verdigris and they have only a thought:

HOW CAN WE STOP THIS ITCH !!! Unfortunately, like all vegetables know, it doesn’t exist a solution to this problem and the Captain Tom with all his army are obliged to scratch themselves for all the next week. Sometimes a vegetable tries to find a solution for the itch: there is who builds a scrubbing brush with the chestnut husks, who prepares refrigerating unguents, who uses mentholated talcum, but the advantages of all these solutions are minimum and the poor unluckies have to keep the itch and exchange comments about the happening. We say to you some comments: “This green patina doesn’t want to go away... grat... grat” “When will it finish? Rasp... rasp...” “If I could catch that aubergine….Argh!” “Oh yes, if I catch him, I….freg… freg… “ “I want to reduce him to pulp… grat… grat…” “Line you up… strush…strush…”

Where will Seadog be? That day he has been caught by the There and he has been put inside …. In fact, all vegetables, also Captain Pell, have been amazed about his throw and so they have thought to ask him to form part of them football team as attacker. This was his answer: “Surely that I accept! You have to know that I’m a great champion! Modestly I played in the Sea League and I won many matches. I’m the best football player in the world! Neither the great Armando Macedoine can be compared with me.” In your opinion, how much time needs to get rid of him?

nce upon a time, like all times, there is the vegetables war. It is important to know that the vegetables that live in the part where the sun rises (the Here) don’t suffer these that live in the other part (the There) and vice versa. Both “the Here” and “the There” would like to have an own field to enjoy the day light, the refreshing rain and the regenerating mud alone. For this reason they are at war. They launch to the others darts and balls with the peashooter, they fight and sometimes someone wins a furrow of ground, but they usually loses it immediately. Today there is a big fight: in the middle of the field potatoes, fennels, pumpkins, cobs, onions, tomatoes and beets are fighting very strong and nobody want stop. Not to long the respective captains, Tom the tomatoes leader of “THE HERE” and Pell the cucumber leader of “THE THERE”, controls the war from the top of the opposite clods and instigates their own tro-

ops and abuses each other. “Go Pumpkin! Throw with the left” shouts Tom to the pumpkin on the field. “Give a punch….cauliflower” screams Pell while his staunch bee says:

« zzzzz zzzzzz ». “ hey Pell! Why don’t give us your bee?..we can roast it” shouts Tom. Zazza answers his by blowing a raspberry while Pell chants: “Gnè Gnè! Have you see that it is a bee?…are you stupid to understand the different?” The fight in the field don’t have result for somebody so the Captain Tom, gets tired to shout, calls his assistant the sergeant Artichoper Colombo. “How get the match?” “Ten vegetables ruined

for us against ten vegetables bruised for their” “10 against 10! I can’t believe it! Draw!” “ Have I to go on the fight, Captain? I’m armoured and I’m a good right” he offers himself Artichoper. We have to know that the old Artichopher loves only a thing more then a good fight: his own collection of medals and cup for the merit. “ Doesn’t be ridiculous, Sergeant! You haven’t the age for these things. We will send the special artillery corp”. The Sergeant Artichopher doesn’t hide a little disappointment and he starts with a little poetry because in the critical moment he can’t stop his artist soul:

“Oh listen to me my captain! My hand goes to the sword! Go to the fight is the destiny of every soldier! Also…” 27

“Stop with this syndrome of rhyme” interrupts

his Captain Tom, who has heard a lot of poetry by the sergeant Artichopher. “Also, give orders for the artillery, like I have just said!” “Ok, captain!” answer with few words Artichopher and makes a wave to the troops. With this signal, an enormous green pod comes out from the ground of “the Here” and goes to the war. “Let us hope all goes well” says Artichopher, while he is eating the nails for the nervousness.

“Don’t worry! These soldiers had the best training” calm him Tom, but he has a strange tic of his eye that betray his tension. When the big green pod arrives in the middle of the chaos, the pod is opening like a book and goes out a lot of little broad beans with a combative face. They are armed with a powerful repeating blowgun. With this gun they shoot little ball on the right and on the left, is damaged only and precisely the there’s soldiers. “Ahia! The turban” shouts Al Maize who is uncovered. “My knee! I have the “Sciatica” crying the cauliflower. “Why are you shooting to me too?” says mushroom, everybody know that he is a spy. “What chaos?” laments Fenny, the fennel.

“ I-I-I d-d-didn’t want g-g-go here!” stammers Barry, the strawberry timorously. At the end with ten minutes the there withdraw their defeated troops while the here jump and celebrate the victory. “ What success!!” rejoices the captain Tom “ We need a solemn prizegiving! Call all the troops: these soldiers deserve the vegetable medal for the merit” “ YES, SIR!” says Artichopher. He is envious of them because he didn’t take this medal and it is a very good part of his collection. Now is the moment of the prizegiving and all the Here’s soldiers are in a semicircle while the little broad bean are in the center.

The Captain Tom goes to the soldiers holding a precious velvet pillow where there is the sparkling medal. When the Captain Tom sees the battalion, calls the Sergeant Artichopher because he has a doubt. “ But they are identical, who is their captain?” “Nobody” answers Atichopher ” They are self-management!” The Captain walks in front of the troops and with a wave all the vegetables get quiet. “We won the war thanks to their effort.” Proclaims. “Especially thanks to the broad bean battalion, who gained this vegetable medal of merit for their work on the battle. Now I need a delegate that takes the medal for the whole troop. Who is the spokesman?” The broad beans answer saying every soldiers a word and staying in line: “ The” “ spokesman” “ of” “the” “ broad beans” “troop” “ are” and all together, loudly:

“ME” 31

“ It is impossible! You can be all together the spokesman. You must have a delegate.” Another time, staying always in line: “ The” “ spokesman” “ of” “the” “ broad beans” “troop” “ are” and all together, loudly: “ME” “I have the solution!” exclaims Tom. His eye starts with the nervous tic. “ I set the medal on your pod.” “Ah! Ah” laugh the broad beans at the same time. “ What do you want?” asks Tom.

“You” “want” “give” “a prize” “to the building” “instead of” “the soldiers” “AH! AH!” “Sergeant Artichopher Colombo” shouts the captain, angry. “They aren’t self-management! They divide 1 brain into 50 heads! To whom I give this medal?” “ To me!” cry all the broad beans, always remaining in line. The nervous tic of the captain doesn’t stop and Artichopher fastens the shining medal yet. “ We need a solution for this situation” “Without poetry! Without poetry!” cry the captain.

“Excuse me” says Artichopher “ I have an idea: I can become, for this moment, guardian of this splendid medal..ehm.. of the object in question. I can decide, with my literal and philosophical study, who is the broad bean more intelligent, and then we can continue this ceremony” “Ok” affirms finally the tomato, tired of this problem. “Gentleman, this ceremony is interrupted until the sergeant will decide the question. Take the medal.” “But” “Shut up!” admonish Tom “ you haven’t a spokesman!” Do you want know the end? Artichopher has the medal yet. While he thinks on the solution, the medal is on a showcase with the other medal. When a broad bean asks him what is the solution, he answers with a disconsolate expression: “I become crazy for this!” and then softly says: “ wait and hope stupid broad bean!”

Visit the website of “Vegebattle, you will learn all about the characters and the adventures of these ramshackle soldiers, and their improbable missions.

“VEDEBATTLE” was born from an idea of Marco Marilungo Texts by Barbara Cerquetti Illustrations by Marco Marilungo - www.marilungo.com Layout and editing: Empix Multimedia - www.empix.it Via Bologna 74, 62010 Montecosaro (MC) Tel 0733.866.870 - info@empix.it Copyright 2004-2013 - All rights reserved

In Vegebattle collection you will find all the tales of the craziest vegetables you have never seen: Meet these vegetables fighting this strange “War of the buttons”: the frightful captain “Peel” the cucumber and his faithful war-bee “Zazza”, the strategic tomato “Marzà”, the smart inventor “Gardoc”, the poet medal collector “Artichopher Columbus”, the friends “Crock” the potato and “Pumpkid” the pumpkin, Barry the coward strawberry and many more. “Who will get the medal”? Captain Tom is attending a strange ceremony where won’t be easy to decide who will get the honor, but the creative poet “Artichopher Columbus” will find an unexpected solution. In episode “Water-Pillar” “Gardoc” tweaks a shooting verdigris caterpillar watering can but will have to face its driver “Seawolf” the braggart aubergine. Not all will be as expected...