E N E R G I S E R

THE ENERGISER

Chelsey Lynn Stailing

By: Aria de Lima

"My family was quite superstitious. If we had gut feelings we would follow them. My family just knew things, so that got passed down but in terms of being spiritual, I’ m the first one in my family. I got called weird a lot. It would freak people out sometimes and people even say that it didn ’t happen, but I used to see a lot of shadows and I would say I saw ghosts or I would also hear voices. I had the gift of knowing. I would just know things! I was highly sensitive, extremely sensitive and I still am.

Chelsey's Artwork

I’ ve been spiritual for pretty much my whole life but I had always felt like I was a little off or something so I pushed it away. I’ ve always been an odd child but I didn ’t actually know about my spirituality until about four years ago. I got into some trouble. I was with somebody, my children ’ s father. We broke up and I started seeing someone else. The relationship wasn ’t great, it only lasted about nine days but during it, I was drinking, and after that I was really sick spiritually. I was really really spiritually drained and I just didn ’t know what was happening. I went to church first and that wasn ’t working for me. My body put me into these weird trances. I was hearing voices. I was running from my gifts and what I was feeling. That's the reason why I got into addiction. I was trying to run away because I kept seeing things and hearing things. I thought I was going crazy. I tried to run away for most of my life. I was suicidal. It went hand in hand and it was not good at all, to the point where I actually put myself down so much that I wasn ’t going to make it.

Chelsey and her partner Joe

I wouldn ’t say I got heavy into drugs but with the drugs I did take, I accidentally got poisoned by one and it made me really sick. And you know, I was losing my children and not putting myself in healthy situations. At one point I went down to 70 pounds and they said if I didn ’t change my lifestyle, I wasn ’t going to make it to see 27 years old. So I needed to stop and that’ s why I went to the wellness program. I was getting help because I was destructive. I was destroying my life and other people ’ s lives. It’ s kind of what happens when people, especially abusive men, are calling you a psycho, calling you crazy, videotaping you talking to yourself and then showing everybody or putting it on Facebook and making fun of you.

You have professional people looking at you saying you need help and trying to diagnose you when you know that what you ’ re hearing and seeing is not you being crazy. But when you try to explain it you get worked up and you just can ’t. It makes you feel small and it induces this feeling of I don ’t belong here. It I thought it was my mental health, other people thought it was my mental health, so I was getting put on pills. I was getting put in the mental ward trying to get help, trying to get diagnosed or something but everything kept coming back saying I was ok.

Then I had kind of a breaking moment. It was about two or three years ago and I was in the hospital. For years I had been getting psych tests done to prove that something was wrong. I was getting checked for schizophrenia, I was getting checked for split personality disorder, I was getting checked for bipolar disorder and I just kept saying ‘ no, this isn ’t it. ’ I was going in the spiritual books and I was looking it up and locking myself in rooms so I could figure it out because everyone around me kept saying I was crazy. It wasn ’t helping me. At this time, I was losing everything. I was relapsing, I was trying to recover from relapsing, my ex had my kids, I just got out of an abusive relationship and I had nothing left. But I knew I wasn ’t crazy, so I just started asking for forgiveness. I started lighting incense, I started doing rituals and I started doing some research online.

Chelsey

I was in a hospital, I was in a wellness program and I was working on my different art pieces and stuff like that and one day they looked at me and they ’ re like “ nothing ’ s wrong with you. You ’ re gifted. ” and I was like “ what?” and they said “ ya, we think you're gifted. ” I don ’t know if they were saying it to make me feel better or if they actually meant it but they had taken me off the medication, and they wanted me to go see a counselor but then they said I was ok. My doctor even suggested I go to see other spiritual people as well. So once they started believing me, I started to embrace it more and now everyone around me knows that I’ m spiritual and so many people tell me that I’ m spiritual. When I tell them that the Divine told me, they don ’t laugh at me.

Then I started to go to more spiritual people. I spoke to psychics, mediums, light workers, witches, reiki practitioners, energy healers and even a monk. I was asking them about what was going on and they told me I was coming into my gifts. So I got tarot cards, I got into divination and I kind of just went big into it. It was my whole entire life. I didn ’t feel safe without [spirituality]. I felt like something was trying to attack me. I was going through a mental health crisis but also a spiritual awakening at the same time. Also being a young mom with two children, I was going through postpartum depression. I had been dealing with emotional abuse and health problems, so it was a lot. I didn ’t actually get a hang of my spirituality until about two years ago when I was actually allowed to express it and allowed to be myself. [My family] pretty much already knew because they already saw that I was kind of odd. At first people in my life were kind of throwing bibles at me and telling me I was following Satan and telling me that I need to find God. They told me what I was doing was wrong, that the tarot cards were evil and stuff like that. My friends, they reacted fine. I actually read tarot cards for them and teach them stuff and they ’ re just like “ oh ya, Chelsey and her witchy ways. ” I guess people who are kind of stuck in their ways were kind of thrown by it, but the people who really knew what was going on, they were ok with it. Even strangers will come up and ask me if I’ m a psychic and I tell them yes. I don ’t really tell people but I do. I wait until people tell me before I deep dive into it because it’ s such a controversial thing.

Chelesy's Altar

I think I had to find myself before I could find spirituality. I think I had to be alone, and that’ s why when I was going through a hard time, I was locking myself in the rooms. It was because I knew I had to be alone to deal with it. I would go on spiritual groups on Facebook and I was part of other groups and I would meet people that were spiritual. They would say ‘I’ m spiritual and I can help you. ’ There was a Nan ’ s Rock Shop which is like a spiritual shop and the woman working there helped me too. Spiritual people just started coming to me and aiding me.

I do not do anything unless I connect with my guides, my ascendant masters and heaven. I have gotten extremely good and fast at manifesting things. I ask and I receive. It’ s actually really weird. I’ll say “I really want a nice printer. ” I couldn ’t afford a nice printer but Seven Arts was giving a printer but the cord was missing and it might need to be fixed a little bit. So I’ m like ok, and ended up with a printer for five dollars. I called the person who I thought might have the cord I needed and they generously gave me the cord. I got some new cartridges and now I have a brand new printer.

My spirituality saved motherhood for me. My oldest, he is starting to have an interest. He ’ s more into natural things like juices and herbal treatments. He ’ s interested in rocks and crystals and all of that stuff. I just try to lead by example. When I’ m cleaning the house I will use incense and essential oils, I will sweep a certain way, I will put salt by the door, I have crystals all around.

Chelsey with her children

I’ m naturally a healer but I just embrace it through being myself. I learned that I can do healing through making my decor or just talking to somebody or just leading by example. My best friend has told me that she had no interest in spirituality at all but after seeing me do it she is starting to touch base on it.

I write my poems and my stories using divinity. Also my art is the same thing. I just feel and create. I plan on doing programs. I am trying to get a grant for next year to start a wellness program to help Nova Scotians with bringing arts and wellness together. I wouldn ’t have known that without divination and being guided to do so because everything I'm supposed to be doing seems to be dropped in my lap and I just take it. Sometimes I’ll be doing something or I’ll be walking and a poem pops in my head and I also have the voice in my head that helps keep me calm. I am a freelance writer, a freelance artist, a published writer, and future entrepreneur.

I just embrace it and live who I'm supposed to be and try to show other people that it’ s ok to do the same. You don ’t need to conform. I do all of these practices because they protect me and my family and I’ ve noticed that since discovering my spirituality my life is flowing easier, I have inner peace and I am protected. I barely have any drama and if I do it gets shut down quick and I like to believe that it is because of the practices that I do.

Spirituality saved me. Some of the stuff, I wasn ’t quite sure about it but when I really needed it, it saved me. When you have people embracing it, it becomes ‘ oh it’ s just Chelsey and her gift of knowing. ’ If I was writing things down, they would throw them out but now, I write things down and I’ m getting it published. I couldn ’t embrace my spirituality because I wasn ’t allowed, until it became a choice of either embracing who I am, just tell everybody to leave me alone and be who I am or end up dying. So I made a decision. I learned to stop attaching my peace, worth, happiness and beliefs to people, places and things. I stepped back and went within and found it was inside the whole time. I have children and I have a purpose and I am going to fulfil that purpose. Now I live completely guided by the divine. "