Mag 183 The English Update

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• AUGUST 1, 2014 • ‫ה' אב תשע"ד‬

HAPPY READERS :)

VOL. 5 #183

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Dear Readers,

‫ה‬

WEEKLY

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Managing Editor Varda Branfman printeR

Distribution Kobi Hafatzot

Contributing Writers Dr. Miriam Adahan, Rabbi Alon Bruckenstein, Meira Cantor, Chava Dumas, Rabbi Issamar Ginzberg, Rose Jacobson, Rabbi Dovid Kaplan, Vardah Littman, Daniel Meijers, Nesanel Safran, Elya Stromberg, Roland Teichholz, Yael Tusk, Tzirel Chana, Nechama Wachsman

Publisher The English Update Office: 02 801-8001 Fax: 02 628-3283 POB 57157 Jerusalem 91576 Advertising Department: ads@teu.co.il Mazal Tovs and Classifieds: buzz@teu.co.il

W

ith rare exceptions, world media is embracing the war in Gaza as a modern-day blood libel that portrays Israelis killing defenseless women and children. (Never mind Hamas' use of their women and children as human shields and the placing of rocket launchers in or near private homes, or the fact that the whole war started with a rocket offensive launched by Hamas on our civilian population.) Since truth is never allowed to get in the way of plain old Jew-hatred, European capitals are exploding with rampaging Muslims who scream “Death to the Jews.” Unlike our civilized European critics, “enlightened” university professors, and other politically correct detractors, those rioting Muslims don’t hide their plain old Jew-hatred behind rhetoric about “Zionist war crimes.” The good news is that it’s never been so clear for those with eyes to see that this is a conflict between those who value life and those who embrace death, between humanity and barbarism, between freedom and oppression, between truth and illusion. With the tragedy of our rising casualties, the rockets still raining down on our cities, and the revelation of a sophisticated terrorist tunnel system leading from Gaza to communities in the South, we are experiencing a show of national unity and achdus, the likes of which we’ve never seen. Every day sees more grass-roots efforts to express support for the soldiers fighting to defend us. Tents have been set up by volunteers at the Gaza border where soldiers are given ice cream, coffee treats like cappuccino, energy bars, other nutritious snacks, useful items of clothing, and a free massage. On the spiritual front, women and girls from around the Jewish world were called upon to say special prayers for achdus on Rosh Chodesh and on the same day, Jews everywhere were asked to say the first verse of Shema in unison at 7 pm Israel time and 12 noon Eastern Standard Time. For fallen soldiers who died protecting us, a project is underway to complete Mishnayos for each one of them in time for his shloshim. An individual can contribute to this joint project of giving merit to these neshamas by signing up to say a perek, a whole mesechta, or whatever is desired (www.lilmod.org. il or call 08 858-6805). And one of the most powerful displays of unity has been an unprecedented wave of aliyah in which over 2,000 new immigrants have arrived since the beginning of the war. As anti-Semitism rears its ugly head, the world continues to spout its usual invectives against us. But despite these mutterings, with Hashem’s help and the mesirus nefesh of the soldiers, as well as the extraordinary outpouring of chesed and tefillah from the Jewish People, we are winning. We are Am Yisrael Chai.

Have a beautiful Shabbos and an easy fast (unless Mashiach comes before Monday night),

Varda Branfman

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VOL. 5 #182 • J U LY 25, 2014

The Ribono shel Olam is absorbing the Hamas missiles in all the open fields in our tiny land where they fall, and He has given us the Iron dome to shoot them down

I was just wondering if your article on “Harnassing the Earthworm” in last week’s issue was

featured as an example of the positive use of tunnels through the earth to bring nutrients to the soil. It comes at a time when we’re all reading and talking about the tunnels that Hamas built as an aspect of their terrorist activities. -E.C.S., Har Nof Thank you for printing “How We Can Help” our

soldiers and the “Take Care” feature. I’d like to add one comment. It’s dangerous to test a driver with questions, especially if the driver has a companion in the car. They can, chas v’shalom, force a boy into the car. It’s better not to hitch rides at all. -M.M.

An eagle is flying high in the sky, its eye forever watchful of its nest perched on the edge of the cliff. The eagle wants to enter his nest. However, he has a problem, if he enters the nest suddenly, the fledglings will panic and die, due to the greatness of the eagle. As the eagle is merciful towards his sons, he flaps his great wings and makes noise in order to awaken his children, so the surprise should not be too overwhelming. Am Yisrael is compared to eagle fledglings, soft and small, blind, naked, and weak. Some are still sleeping. The Almighty is compared to an eagle. Now, He is flapping His wings and signaling to Am Yisrael, His beloved children, to awaken. He wants to return home. “Wake up, wake up, the geula is at hand. The end of the galus is seconds away. Do teshuva. Don’t you realize what the events of our time are signaling?”

Here in Eretz Yisrael, Hashem is protecting His nation with the miracle of the Iron Dome like the “Clouds of Glory” in the encampment in the midbar. We are enveloped in the loving cradle of His arms in the encampment of Eretz Yisrael. The eagle protects his fledglings by putting them on its back and flying high above everyone, ready to absorb the arrows of hunters. So too, the Ribono shel Olam is absorbing the Hamas missiles in all the open fields in our tiny land where they fall and He has given us the Iron Dome to shoot them down Let us all wake up and return wholeheartedly to Him. This will ensure the safe return of our soldiers who had to leave the encampment to destroy the Hamas in Gaza. This will surely ensure the return of the Shechina to Tzion in mercy, soon in our day. -Vardah Littman I experienced what may have been an attempted kidnapping last night. A normal looking taxi (Mercedes,

yellow light on top, orange placard that I think said "Geula") pulled over to pick me up and there were two men sitting in front (which gave me a weird feeling), so I said, "No thank you, I already called a cab." The driver got out of the car and came around to my side, and I realized he was holding a gun. He used the gun to motion for me to get into the taxi and I immediately ran into the 24 hour SOS market that I was standing right next to. Do not flag taxis right now. Only call a company or driver you know and trust to pick you up! This took place two weeks ago and police are currently investigating the matter.

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ver since tapes went the way of records and left us with CDs and, even worse, MP3s, I listen to a whole lot less audio than I used to. Tapes meant that if I was in the middle of one and my kids wanted to hear something else, I could hit “eject,” and put in Uncle Moishe. And then, when the tape was put back in, it “magically” held the place. However, I also understand the tremendous value of MP3s over tapes. Do you remember the brown stuff all over when the tape recorder “ate it”? Boy, do I feel old writing this… Anyway, I don’t have the patience, koyach, time, or all three to load MP3s into a recorder. I wistfully think of my favorite speakers (Rav Yosef Chaim Greenwald, for one) whom I never hear anymore, while I used to listen to him for hours on end. Were someone to offer a “pick up your MP3s, load them onto an MP3 player, and deliver” service, at a reasonable price, that would be something that would appeal to me, for one, as an eager customer. Question: What would the value of such a service be? Your guesstimate? If you figure “that job isn’t hard, and I can do something else while the MP3s load, so 20 shekels an hour would be nice,” then you’d be off to a decent start. Another way of pricing it would be “well, if I charge 20 shekels, or even 10 shekels per hour because I can load several at the same time and make an effective rate of 60-90 shekels per hour,” that would be even better. Charging per CD, and not per hour would

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be another tactic. If that was a better approach or not would depend on how long it would take you and how your service offering was being perceived. Let’s take it to the next level. If certain MP3s were common choices, and you could keep those CDs on your hard disk and load them from there instead of doing the whole CD insertion each time (as long as it’s not a legal or halachic issue), how much would that speed things up? And the kicker question… If I was a whiz at this, or if I had a computer that loaded MP3s at the rate of 30 seconds each, how would that affect my pricing? Realize that what you want to offer your clients is what Dr. Alan Weiss (whose bestselling McGraw Hill books include a contribution from me about million dollar referrals) pioneered and calls value based pricing. Value based pricing means that you charge based on what the client is getting, not based on what it cost you to produce or an hourly fee. It means that you gain from your expert knowledge or speed to a greater extent, time -wise, than your client does, although they ultimately share in the reaped benefits thereof. My consulting fees are expensive. And yet-- I’m cheap. I can hear the collective gasp escaping from 30,000 UPDATE readers as they read that. Not all at the same time, please. B-RE-A-T-H-E-! What do I mean? Let me explain… Two weeks ago, a client called me up, hysterical, that one of their main suppliers had sent them a questionnaire to fill out with continued on page 27

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‫טל חיים בן תמרה מיכל בן פרידה ֹ‬ ‫אחיה בן נירה‬ ‫רן בן אביבה‬ ‫ארנון בן איריס‬ ‫אביעד בן סימה‬ ‫חגי בן שרה‬ ‫צוריאל אליהו בן‬ ‫אוהד בן אליס גנון‬ ‫שי בן גליה‬ ‫שולמית‬ ‫אוהד בן רות אסתר‬ ‫דניאל בן יהודית‬ ‫איתי אהרון בן אילנה משה בן סיגלית‬ ‫אביהו בן רונית‬ ‫חביב‬ ‫אליאל בן אריאלה‬ ‫עידו בן עופרה‬ ‫אוהד בן רחל‬ ‫אליהו בן חוה‬ ‫דן בן הלן‬ ‫אורי בן רחל‬ ‫ארד בן ליאורה‬ ‫רועי בן איריס‬ ‫דוד בן רחל‬ ‫ארז בן שרית‬ ‫אבישי בן סיגל‬ ‫בניה בן פנינה‬ ‫בן דויד בן אסתר נלי‬ ‫דביר בן יעל‬ ‫אושיק משה בן‬ ‫בן ציון בן רחל‬ ‫יואב בן מיכל‬ ‫שושנה זהרי‬ ‫גיל בן מיכל‬ ‫מאיר בן שרה‬ ‫יוגב בן סימה‬ ‫דוד יצחק בן סוזי‬ ‫יהושע בן ינמר‬ ‫ניצן בן מזל‬ ‫דולב בן כוכבה‬ ‫אילן בן חנה‬ ‫דניאל מנדס בן מרים שי בן אורלי‬ ‫חייטי בן שרה‬ ‫אברהם נחמן בן‬ ‫זיו בן איילת‬ ‫נמרוד בן עדי‬ ‫אוסנת‬ ‫יואב בן גילה‬ ‫טל בן אורנה‬ ‫יעקב בן אוסנת‬ ‫יוני בן שרה רבקה‬ ‫דניאל בן נעמי פנינה אילן בן חנה‬ ‫יונתן שמעון בן גיטל‬ ‫אבירם בן רבקה‬ ‫יונתן בן חגית אביגיל רון מנחם בן חנה‬ ‫יונתן שמעון בן מסעוד נמרוד בן ויקטוריה יוגב בן אורלי‬ ‫מתניה בן רחל‬ ‫סער בן דבורה‬ ‫יעקב בן לאפו‬ ‫עדן בן רחל‬ ‫אור בן דבורה‬ ‫ירון בן מור‬ ‫רועי בן אביבה‬ ‫יאיר שמעון בן‬ ‫ישי דב הלוי בן נרי‬ ‫אוהד בן איריס‬ ‫נחמה‬ ‫ליאל בן אילנית‬ ‫בר בן רוזית שושנה‬ ‫דני בן מילה‬ ‫מור מרדכי בן שרית‬ ‫דוד חיים רונית‬ ‫עידן בן בת שבע‬ ‫מיכל בן פרידה‬ ‫דן בן רחל‬ ‫משה אלעד בן עיתיאל אור בן ריקי‬ ‫גבריאל בן נלי‬ ‫מאור בן רונית‬ ‫נריה בן חוה‬ ‫מוטי מרדכי בן רונית תום בן לאה‬ ‫עובדיה בן רויטל‬ ‫ברק בן שרה‬ ‫עמישב בן אסתר‬ ‫עמוס בן סיגל‬ ‫סתיו בן ברכה‬ ‫ליאור בן ניצנה‬ ‫עמית בן מרים‬ ‫שי בן שרה‬ ‫יאיר בן יעל‬ ‫רמי בן רמונד‬ ‫ינאי בן עליזה‬ ‫ליאור בן רות‬ ‫רועי בן יהודית‬ ‫ניר בן כרמל‬ ‫טל בן חגית‬ ‫רותם בן ארנונה‬ ‫יניב בן יונית‬ ‫יואב בן בלה‬ ‫רן בן ציפורה‬ ‫יוסף בן אהובה‬ ‫מתן בן יעל‬ ‫שוהם בן יפה פלורה‬ ‫משה בן חנה‬ ‫עמית בן חגית‬ ‫שקד בן אורה‬ ‫עמית בן אילנה‬ ‫אייל בן נטע‬ ‫גיא בן מגי‬

‫אור בן אורית‬ ‫סיון בן טל‬ ‫יובל בן נורית‬ ‫טל בן עדי‬ ‫אוריאל בן חגית‬ ‫עומר יוסף בן ניצה‬ ‫שלמה בן חנה‬ ‫אושרי בן חיה‬ ‫לירן בן אורלי‬ ‫ברק בן אניטה‬ ‫רותם בן נתיבה‬ ‫יעקב בן רחל‬ ‫יוסף חיים בן זהבה‬ ‫חן ישראל בן שושנה‬ ‫אביב בן סימה‬ ‫אור בן אסתר‬ ‫טל בן שרה‬ ‫טל בן ירדנה‬ ‫שלמה בן מזל‬ ‫דוד בן מיכל‬ ‫נמרוד בן תמר‬ ‫דוד בן איריס‬ ‫חן ישראל בן רחל‬ ‫ניב בן אורנית‬ ‫איתי בן מזל‬ ‫חגי בן ורד‬ ‫עירא בן מירב‬ ‫שי בן סימה‬ ‫דור בן רינה‬ ‫יהונתן בן צופנת‬ ‫בן בן חנה‬ ‫אורי רונן בן שגית‬ ‫חגי בן ורד‬ ‫גל בן סיגלית‬ ‫טל בן אנדי‬ ‫שי בן ז'קלין‬ ‫טל בן רחל‬ ‫עומר בן ברוריה‬ ‫אורי בן סיגלית‬

‫רחמים בן עליזה חנה‬ ‫אדוארד בן חוה‬ ‫אביגדור בן יפה‬ ‫אליסף חיים בן חיה‬ ‫יהודית‬ ‫אהרן יוסף בן צפורה‬ ‫וורדה‬ ‫שחר בן נעומי שרה‬ ‫אמציה חיים בן חדווה‬ ‫מלכם‬ ‫שלום מיכאל יצחק בן‬ ‫נטלי נאוה‬ ‫שלום מיכאל יצחק בן‬ ‫נטלי נאווה‬ ‫אל יוסף חיים בן חיה‬ ‫יהודית‬ ‫בועז דוד בן פייגא‬ ‫ציפורה‬ ‫דוד בניהו בן שיינדל‬ ‫גיטל‬ ‫אביב אל חי בן‬ ‫אריאלה‬ ‫דניאל משה בן רחל‬ ‫שמואל ירוחם בן‬ ‫רבקה‬ ‫אביחיל אלימלך בן‬ ‫נחמה‬ ‫מרדכי חי בן ברכה‬ ‫יהודית‬ ‫יהודה פנחס בן‬ ‫שלמה‬ ‫יונתן מנחם בן שושנה‬ ‫מעוז חיים בן חסיה‬ ‫מלכה‬ ‫אוהד יהודה בן צופיה‬ ‫רחל‬

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‫‪+House Sauce‬‬ ‫‪+One topping‬‬ ‫‪with coupon only‬‬ ‫‪+Coke‬‬

‫‪80‬‬

‫‪1.5 liter bottle‬‬

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‫‪80‬‬

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‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

10


‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

Invest in a Career

It Pays! R E M M U S

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match o t s r e t t o mattcyh. la t p s n r e ig t s t e d la rty. ar n p /ppa n/ e can ion W sio as n desig ca cc oc y o We cat ny an f o ! le s y o a b s bbos! e style of ab he ha th Sh t latters forr S

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11


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| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

Tuesday Aug. 5, Tisha B'Av

Entrance Fee 25 nis.

Har Nof: Kehilat Bnei Torah Rechov Agassi 5

14:45 for women (program 1) 17:00 for men (program 1) Ezras Torah: Beis Yisroel Main Hall, Rechov Ezras Torah 18 women at 13:15 program 2 and at 15:00 program 1 men at 17:00 program 1

Ramat Eshkol: Khal Zichron Nosson Tzvi (in theWizo gan in Gan Ha'chamish asar) women at 15:00 (program 1) men at 17:00 (program 1)

Rechavia showing program 1 and 2 Place: Variety Center, Rechov Diskin 17 Time: 14:30 (for women

only)

For more info call :

02-651-3006

12


‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

one Year dance

Learn Graphic & Web Design

cerTificaTe programs popular & rewarding career high professional level Training

Classic Ballet, Modern Dance & Choreography Instructors

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New! Pilates Instructors

>

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New! Updates For Jazz Instructors - Dancers’ Workshops

esTer pre sem TorY a r prepa s s cla es g 10 Av Beginnin

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>

It Pays! Discover the power of Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, and InDesign.

Study graphic design, color theory, and typography. Produce a professional portfolio. Learn HTML5, CSS, Dreamweaver, Flash, and Wordpress to create compelling and resposive websites. Work with SEO, payment gateways, and e-commerce.

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13


‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

THE JEWISH WEEKLY ENGLISH MAGAZINE

Interesting. Varied. Timely

WE'RE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LAST WEEK'S WINNER IS: ESTHER DONNEBAUM

14


‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

Learn Video Production Chaya Gilbert, Compuskills 2013, www.diversedesign.co

It Pays! Lights, Camera... ACTION! Learn Video Production from Script to Screen Create documentaries, music videos, experimental films, and simcha videos

Win a weekend up north! It’s easy! info@slymdesigns.com

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15


‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

Breaking the Language Barrier

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16

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‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

Come check out our informational and exciting workshops! Free screening of two renowned musical dramas in aid of the organization Zir Chemed Limited entrance Women only Advanced registration required at The Event website

Interactive Challah Workshop

Join Tamar Ansh, author of the bestselling challah book A Taste of Challah for a live, interactive challah show including how to's, the deeper meaning behind the mitzvah of challah, shaping and braiding, group tefillos while doing the hafrasha, and more…

more

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Take a trip to the Far East at our

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Phyllis Glazer- one-stop health spot How to Crack the Israeli Job Market. Leap HR presents a not-to-be-missed employment workshop Panel Discussion: You’ve made Aliyah, What’s Next 17


‫בס"ד‬

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‫בס"ד‬

| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE |

tio!n! ca va er mm sum your book to ok e bo Tiem on ti Tim tocation your sum er vaca va

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| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE | Classified ads must be submitted by Monday 2 pm to buzz@teu.co.il or call 02 801-8001 ext 203 Payment by credit card: regular ad- 20 nis, bold- 25 nis, Pkg of ads ‘til you sell’ (rent, etc.) 120 Nis (limit- 12 ads)

SHORT TERM RENTALS Are you going away? Looking to rent out your apartment? Own a short term rental? We are here for you! PUZZLES PROPERTY M ANAG E M E NT puzzlesisrael@ g m a i l . c o m 052 484-2481 Looking to rent a clean airy apt in Rechavia/ Shaarei Chessed for Sukkot for family of 6-(ages 16+)-can be 2 bdrm, ideally with sukkah, big fridge, freezer, no dishes needed. October 2-14, reasonable price moshecutler@ g m a i l . c o m 44 208-4580563 44 779-6596596 Weissfish's rental 1 bdrm apt, Ezrat Torah, low floor, a/c, airy, picture windows, linen & towels provided. Option for cooked meals 02 538-6674 Private Mehadrin Zimmer-Villa, Beit Shemesh Area, 3 gardens, lg. pool, lg outdoor jacuzzi, Shomer Shabbat area. Geschmack! w w w . springviewisrael.com 053 270-0529/46

20

Minchat Yitzchak, 11/2bdrm, apt sleeps 3 + crib (opt. for more ppl) For Shabbos, Bein Hazmanim and Yomim Tovim. hadassaeisenthal@ g m a i l . c o m 054-849-7191

Minchat Yitzchak hotel style suite overlooking park, linen & towels provided 054 842-6904 Vacation apt. in Tveria,Kiryat Shmuel. Garden, private parking, near Shteiblach + view to Kinneret 057 312-5486

SUMMER RENTALS

Arzei Habira 3 rms, avail. Aug. 1st, spacious, airy, lg kitchen & succah, 2nd flr, (w/ elevator), appliances, a/c 052 761 9243 (no msgs)

Key money apt. Nachlaot 3 rms, 43 mtrs, excellent cond, light & airy, a/c,high ceilings succah porch, courtyard, new dud shemesh, great location. NIS 500,000 02 625-7089

Har Nof New beautiful

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Childbirth classes/ Doula professional updated info, conventional and alternative pain management for an easier and calmer birth Lisa Selig ICEC 052 860-0368 Feeling unwell? Cold, Fever, Virus? Free REFLEXOLOGY Sessions. Come to strengthen all your systems! (Digestion, Immune, Urinary, Respiratory & more) 054 849 8005 At the Place Overweight Kids in Our MatchStick Society A 5-part series TO REGISTER: 0583222488 MAKEUP BY TOBY! Certified makeup artist for all occasions! Pls call 053 520-4153

English speaking MATH tutor. From elementary level through college level. Maalot Dafna neighborhood. Call 050-412-4804 Podiatrist offering specialised foot care: Fungal nails, corns, callus, diabetic and general foot care. Based locally in Jerusalem, home visits available. Eli Kreditor BSc(Hons) MChS 054 239-3662

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| THE ENGLISH UPDATE CONSUMER'S GUIDE | Classified ads must be submitted by Monday 2 pm to buzz@teu.co.il or call 02 801-8001 ext 203 Payment by credit card: regular ad- 20 nis, bold- 25 nis, Pkg of ads ‘til you sell’ (rent, etc.) 120 Nis (limit- 12 ads) Chaim Mayim Plumbing by Chaim -Baldasare repairs -dud shemeshs -renovations chaimmaim@ g m a i l . c o m 052 267-9361

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21


Current

In light of the serious situation, with critical threats pounding at us from without and within, we ache for the coming of Moshiach and the Final Geulah more than ever before. But according to the Chafetz Chaim (Shmiras Halashon pt.2, Ch. 7), a great obstacle blocks the long-awaited Redemption: “Chazal’s words are well-known (Yuma 9b) – ‘In the time of the second Beis Hamikdash, there was Torah and mitzvah observance; its destruction was due to the transgression of sinas chinam and lashon hara.’ The Rishonim wrote that if this aveirah was powerful enough to destroy the Beis Hamikdash when it was standing, surely this transgression can prevent its rebuilding.” Only by uprooting sinas chinam from our midst, will we be able to see the end to this bitter galus. But what can we do to correct the sinas chinam among us? You can rid yourself of sinas chinam in three simple steps. Read these three steps over once a day until you absorb its message and can live by it. Wouldn’t you love to be there when Moshiach comes? Wouldn’t you like to enjoy a wonderful life until that day arrives? Read the three steps daily, and create a world that is ready to greet the Geulah!

EVERYBODY IS A PART OF ME Hashem would not give us the Torah until we were united, k’ish echad b’lev echad. Why? Because no Yid can fulfill the entire Torah alone; only when we are one, unified entity can we keep the Torah fully. Since we each have a part in each other’s Torah, we share in the zechus of our fellow Yid’s mitzvahs, and share responsibility for his aveiros: Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la’zeh. We are all parts of one neshamah. If everyone is part of me, I will regard him as I do myself: I cannot hate myself – I cannot hate others. I would never prosecute myself – nor should I be mekatreg on others. I don’t talk lashon hara about myself – I won’t speak against others. I always forgive my failings – so shall I be forgiving to others.

ATTITUDE TOWARDS PEOPLE WHO STUMBLE When we encounter someone who does not meet our “standards” – in tznius, in conduct, in speech – remember, he and I are one. The outcome of this attitude: Feel compassion – not enraged passion. Say a tefillah for him – not a harsh epithet, in speech or thought.

22

THE ENGLISH UPDATE

Act as his defending lawyer (“He could not overcome his yetzer hara”) – not as his prosecutor (“Rasha, you are holding back the Geulah”). If we internalize this attitude and live by it, Hashem will treat us in kind. Remember: “(Moshiach) Ben David will only come in a generation that is kulo chayav, entirely guilty, or kulo zakai, entirely guilt-free.” How can our generation achieve the level of kulo zakai? When we judge every person l’chaf zechus, we define him as a “zakay.” And if we do so, then Hashem in turn will judge all of Klal Yisrael accordingly – creating a generation that is kulo zakai!

REWARD: THE GOOD LIFE! When someone causes us pain, remember: The blow is from Hashem, the person is just an agent, and whatever happened is for our good. If this becomes our natural attitude, we cannot be sad, we cannot hate, we cannot harbor a grudge, and forgiveness comes easily. The natural consequence is that we enjoy a good life, free of the weight of anger, envy, bitterness, and of niggling accounts with others. Ahavas chinam flows from within. In addition, each nisayon gives us three invaluable rewards: We become better people. We are rewarded for our victory over the yetzer hara. “When a person is forgiving, Hashem forgives all his sins.”


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Inspiration

by Eliya Stromberg

TWO Battlefields Just Another Day I slept a bit later this morning as sometimes happens. After Shacharis I schmoozed with a friend, comparing notes about our children, work, our general health, just like on any other morning. Of course, we talked about the war and how we would finish it if it were up to us. And then I went on my usual fast walk through the neighborhood. Kids were going to camp, bochurim were running from minyan to get to seder on time, cars were driving out to wherever. People were rushing in and out of the makolet to grab milk, bread, and whatever they needed. It was just another day. At the same time in Sderot, in the Gaza envelope, in Beersheva, Code Red sirens were driving people to their shelters. Roads were blocked because of IDF search and destroy missions looking for infiltrators who may have slipped into Israel through terror tunnels. People were being ordered to remain inside behind locked doors until the missions were completed and an all-clear signal was given. I don’t hear sirens. I can go shopping or to the gym, or wherever. My family isn’t locked inside our apartment. There is no war here.

Hamas is at War with Me Don’t get me wrong. I know there is a war. I listen to the news every hour for new developments. I say Tehillim in shul for the safety of all Klal Yisrael. I carry with me the names of soldiers and look at the list before I daven and learn. My heart feels pain and anguish and fear for those on the front lines. But deep in my heart, in the deepest places I can go at the moment, I am not in a war. It is out there in the news,

24

THE ENGLISH UPDATE

somewhere in “the South,” across the security fence into Gaza. Somewhere it is real, but not inside me. This may be a protective mechanism which Hashem has built into us that we can block out stresses that we believe we cannot do anything about. Like the war. It is now Day 16 of Operation Protective Edge. We have lost 29 of our sons. Dozens are in hospital, many in serious condition. I feel deep pain at the loss of precious neshamas and the trauma to families whose husbands, sons and brothers are injured or lost. My wife has a dear friend with a son and a son-in-law somewhere in Gaza, and she calls her every day to see how she’s feeling. I’ll tell you honestly. I want our soldiers to destroy the enemy in Gaza. Completely. Totally, and with no chance of returning to threaten us. As much as I am pained by our losses so far, I want the IDF to continue until the job is finished. They are militarily superior to Hamas, and with the help of Hashem, I know they will prevail if given enough time to conduct their operations. I want THEM to fight the battle. (How easy it is for me to say that.) Of course, THEY have to fight the battle. Imagine a battalion of English-speaking grandfathers, knees buckling under backpacks weighing 50 plus kilos, clutching their blood pressure medicine, and searching for a terror tunnel. I can’t fight in Gaza, but I am still on the front line. Hamas regards me, Eliya Stromberg, as their enemy: I am their target. The missiles are aimed at me. I am at risk if I enter East Jerusalem. Hamas is at war with me, but while my seichel reports that a war surrounds me, I

barely feel it. I can’t fight back in Gaza. So how do I fight my enemy? Say Tehillim. Contact info@ shmiraproject.com to get the name of a soldier to keep in mind when doing mitzvahs. Call a friend with a son in the army and ask the friend how he’s doing. Donate to organizations that support families in the South (info@ onefamilyfund.org among others). Do these things, they are important. But I know for myself, doing these things won’t make me feel as though I am battling the enemy. It just won’t. (I AM NOT SUGGESTING NOT TO DO THESE THINGS. Do them, they help. A lot.)

Reframing the War I am working at making a reframe. Though it may be more like “Add a Frame.” The war in Gaza does not require reframing. It is real and we each should do whatever we can to support the war effort. But the war is not just being fought in Gaza. It is being fought wherever there are Jews, because it is not only a war of missiles and bombs, a war of gashmius. It is also a war of ruchnius. Hamas not only wants to remove the Jewish people from its land. That is the war of gashmius. By doing so, it wants to invalidate the truth of Hashem’s Torah. That is the war of ruchnius. Hamas is fighting this war in Paris where firebombs are thrown at synagogues, and throughout Europe where people are chanting slogans last heard in Nazi Germany. Hamas is fighting in social media where vile images of Jews and Israel proliferate, and in mainstream media where biased reporting fills the masses with continued on page 27


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Current

The following two letters FROM SOLDIERS were translated and circulated on email lists this past week


continued from page 8

continued from page 24

all kinds of questions that they did not have good answers for. For

anger and hatred for Jews and Israel.

example: “Who are your other suppliers in the X line?” Questions

The battlefield of ruchnius is being waged in every place on the

that, if answered not to the supplier’s liking, would cause them to

planet where there is a Jew. And that war is against me and my

be deleted, chas veshalom. Call it the “snob factor” in the luxury

family. I am at risk in Har Nof when Jews in Paris are attacked.

products marketplace.

This is the “Add a Frame.”

It took me six or seven hours to strategize, create a website

Finding What Connects Us

mock up, work on a corporate image, write copy for the web page,

So how do I wage the battle of ruchnius? On two battlefields:

and, while wrapping all that up, also write an email response to

in my daled amos to make it a makom Torah and within Klal

the hard questions being asked by the supplier. Baruch Hashem,

Yisrael to build bridges. We each know (if we are honest with

I’m glad to report that all went very well. (As a side point: If you don’t have a web presence, you don’t exist in today’s marketplace. It’s like saying 20 years ago: “We don’t have a phone line.”) So, if you look at my time per hour, sure it was expensive for the client. But when you look at the fact that in three to four days, for a few thousand dollars in total, they got the whole shebang: a "good enough" website, branding, copywriting, and the response that gave them the green light to order from that company. Now, isn’t that a bargain?

ourselves) what needs work in our daled amos-- in learning, in midos, in our service to Hashem, taivas, gaiva-- we know all the areas that need work. Enter the battle against Hamas by taking on one change to your daled amos to make it a greater makom Torah. Tell yourself that by making this one change, you are battling Hamas. Within Klal Yisrael the challenges are less clearly defined, but whatever works to break the barriers between Jews is where the battle against Hamas will be won. If you just say “good morning” to the person with a different head covering than you and you

If you can show your clients why you are good value, no matter what you charge, you are, iy”H, well on your way to being as busy

do it consciously to build Klal Yisrael, you are defeating Hamas. If you are uncertain where to start to build bridges, ask your gedolim how to reach other Jews whose view of Torah is not

as you want to be.

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to say pshat and, amazingly, they can all be correct. Let’s win the battle against Hamas by finding what connects us to our brothers rather than what separates us. Even if, G-d willing, the IDF has defeated our enemy in Gaza by the time you read this, Hamas’ war against you and me is raging. I personally cannot fight Hamas on the battlefield of gashmius. But I am as powerful as Dovid Hamelech, Pinchas, the Maccabim, the parents of the three young martyrs, or as any gadol in our history past or present to defeat Hamas on the battlefield of ruchnius. I will be victorious because Hashem has promised to be with me wherever I create a makom Torah, and He has promised never to abandon His people. Now, it is time for me to go to war. You may contact Dr. Eliya Stromberg at 052 763-9135 or eliyastromberg@ gmail.com.

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I

wonder. In the desert the men were immersed in learning Torah at an exalted level, food rained down from above, fresh at the front door each morning together with jewels, and there was no need to do laundry. What could have been the shalom bayis issues which required the peace-making services of Aharon HaKohen? Even nowadays, there are plenty of millionaires in unhappy marriages. Think of business moguls and media celebrities. On the other hand, there are many impoverished couples who do have shalom bayis. Think of kollel families.

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The conclusion is that material circumstances are not the only root of shalom bayis issues. Could it be that shalom bayis is more about each spouse's individual view of themselves and their level of self fulfillment? A person, who is dependent on another person to prove that he is important, will be disappointed, frustrated, and angry if his/her expectations are not met. And such emotions are not conducive to shalom bayis. Maybe marriage needs to become a context for serving Hashem in accordance with the laws of bein adam l'chaveiro

along the vision of Rabbi Shamshon Rephael Hirsch? Rav Hirsch says that each person must know that he/she is here in this world to be a conduit for blessing. A person can choose to be a bracha to human beings, plants, or even to animals. Living with our focus on how we could be a bracha to others fulfills our inner self. When a person feels good about himself, he isn't affected as strongly by other people's remarks to him or their moods. Overcoming challenges in relationships is much easier when one's emotional equilibrium and actions are not dependent on others. And someone who depends on others' accolades will never feel fulfilled because there will always be someone who doesn't appreciate you. A less than satisfactory marriage can be upgraded to a very stable marriage by focusing on becoming a bracha for everyone. I've been asked, "What if only one spouse is willing to adopt this attitude of focusing on being a bracha-- can it still improve shalom bayis?" The answer is yes! A person focused on being a bracha regardless of how the other person is or is not responding, will bring bracha to himself and his/her environment. This

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is what is so powerful about Rav Hirsch's approach. Even if only one spouse is focused on being a bracha to others, everything around becomes different, better, and more blessed. For many people, this is a totally new way of thinking. It takes perseverance to integrate this approach into each daily action, but it can be done successfully. Women I've coached have gained strength, emotional equanimity and more shalom bayis from focusing on how to be a bracha in all circumstances. Bruchy Laufer CPLC offers both private coaching and sessions over the telephone.


Looking for A More MeAningfuL TishA B'Av?

Once again, KINOS WITH EXPLANATIONS by prominent Rabbonim 9:00-9:20

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Rabbi Menachem Nissel

seTTing The Tone The hidden sin

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Recipes recipe by Tzirel Chana • kosherhomecooking.com

Ess, Ess Mein Kind

Sweet & Sour Cabbage What would the world be like if our food could talk to us? Imagine a dialogue with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s: Human: Yum. Let’s dig in! Ben and Jerry’s: Seconds on the lips decades on the hips. Or a can of coke. Human: Ahh, the pause that refreshes. Coke Can: Refreshes what? Your dentist’s bank account. If this week’s recipe could talk, it would whisper, “Ess, ess mein kind.” Sweet and Sour Cabbage is an Old World favorite. While I’d love to say that this recipe is an ancient family heirloom, it isn’t. Still it is a bubbie food, and our bubbies were no fools. Sweet and sour cabbage is low calorie and entirely cholesterol free, and it’s got thiamin, riboflavin, calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, and selenium, as well as Vitamins K and C, plus dietary fiber. And best of all, it tastes yummy. I like to put up a batch on Monday or Tuesday and freeze it until Erev Shabbos. This makes me feel that I’ve begun my Shabbos preparations early, even if I don’t do another thing until Friday.

Ingredients:

1 bag shredded red cabbage 2 cups water ½ cup brown sugar (white is okay too) ½ cup vinegar (Do not use synthetic vinegar. It gives the dish an unpleasant acidic taste. Don’t use balsamic either—too effete for this rather homely concoction. Just plain old apple cider vinegar will do just fine. By the way, vinegar preserves the cabbage’s purple color. Otherwise it would turn blue.) 1 medium-sized onion 2 Granny Smith apples 1½ Tbsp cooking oil (or one teaspoon of oil plus spray)

Preparation: Peel the apples and cut them into cubes. Dice the onion. Saute together apple chunks and onion. When onions are translucent, add cabbage, water, vinegar, and sugar. Simmer on low flame until apples are soft and purple (about one hour).


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