Enigma December 2015

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From the Publisher’s Notebook

Free Press that forbade them from Is this how they built the great repdoing anything with another print utation they have enjoyed over the company. years? What the heck is that all about in the Times-Free Press in such a sad shape that even free ads for charity are a threat to them? I’m shocked. Aren’t you?

No problem. We will be around after they are gone and then can help underprivileged and needy people.

- Paul E. Burke Sr.

Saturday Night Live is not funny.

There was this female singer on that looked as if she had a mop of I can’t believe it has lasted all these plastic roses on her head. The mop years. covered most of her face so you couldn’t even see her eyes. I hadn’t watched it in a very long time until recently. Then she sang – ugh – I think her name was Sia.

Across

I wanted to see how Donald Trump performed as host. He did a pass- While she was singing, an oriental able job – being the only high spot looking woman was gyrating of the entire show. around the stage in some form of progressive dancing. That seemed I can remember when it first start- to have nothing to do with the song ed 40 years ago. It was fresh and – it stunk – period. exciting. NBC would do better running The first few years many of the “Leave It To Beaver” reruns for an actors or comedians, if you please entertainment effort. made a name for themselves (John Belushi, Eddie Murphy, Gilda But cash cows endure. Radner, Bill Murray, to name a few). Watch it some night if you doubt me. As the show progressed and the cast changed – so did the newness Another short note from my pad. and humor. We recently wanted to run an ad It must be a cash cow for NBC to for a charitable group – a group keep it on the air. that does a lot of good in the community. But to my surprise and At times they have had some good total shock I was informed they musical acts, but the night Donald couldn’t do anything – even if it was on wasn’t the case. was free. They had signed some formal contract with the TimesENIGMA

1. Arab headdress for men 7. Disfigure 11. Register 12. Military dictator 14. Style 15. Lean 16. Newfoundland 17. Hollow stone 18. Category 19. Portfolio 20. Sicilian volcano 22. Motion picture 23. Was indebted to 26. Dispute 28. One who writes poetry 31. Obtained 32. Item having exchange value 33. British sailor 34. Exclamation of surprise 37. Organ of hearing 38. Bohemian language 39. Cast-up seaweed 41. Belonging to him 43. Small harp-like musical instrument 44. Persian Gulf port 45. City in NW France 46. Vertex 47. Notion 49. Male given name 52. Little devils 54. Trail 57. Scandinavian myths 58. Acting part 59. Useful 60. Move in waves 61. Extinct birds 62. Gone by

DECEMBER 2015

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63. Inveterate

Down

1. Leg joint 2. Florence river 3. Crossed 4. Navy 5. Reflected sound 6. Hair style 7. Christmas fare 8. Russian nuclear submarine 9. Evils 10. Lack of vanity 11. Milk and egg drink 13. Undo 15. Former Russian rulers 21. US space agency 24. Muddled 25. Anesthetic 27. Toothed wheels 29. City in Nebraska 30. Strange and mysterious 35. Undersea explorer 36. Great quantity 38. Close range photograph 39. Moth whose larvae feed on honeycombs 40. Spring up 42. Reptiles 44. Mozambique port 45. Packet 48. Musical study piece 50. Female given name 51. Increases 53. Entreaty 55. Helper 56. Lump of earth



Dear Rocco, I read where the Republican Party is going to attempt to run off their presidential frontrunner Donald Trump. What is it about Trump that his own party doesn’t like? MN

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Dear Rocco, Why do you think Adele sells so many albums whenever she put one out and why does the media make such a big deal out of her? MC

DDeeaarr M MCC,, BBeecc aauussee sshhee aacctt uuaallllyy iiss ttaalleenn tt-eedd.. AAdd eellee hh aass aa bbee aauuttiiff uull ssiinngg iinngg vvooiicc ee tthhaatt ddoo eess nnoo tt rreeqquuiirree AAuuttoo --TTuu nnee lliikk ee ssiinn ggeerrss ssuucc hh aass RR iihhaannnn aa aanndd BB rriitt nneeyy SSpp eeaarrss.. W Whheenn yyoouu sseeee hh eerr lliivvee sshhee iiss aacctt uuaallllyy ssiinngg iinngg aann dd nnoo tt lliipp ssyynncc iinn gg lliikkee M Maaddoo nn nnaa,, LLaaddyy GGaagg aa aanndd jjuusstt aabboouu tt eevveerroo nnee eellssee iinn tt hhiiss dd aayy aann dd aagg ee .. DDeess ppiitt ee bbee iinngg oovvee rrw weeii gghh tt AAdd eellee iiss sstt iillll aa vveerryy bbeeaauu ttiiffuull woom w maann w whhoo cc aann rreellyy oo nn hheerr GGoo dd ggiivveenn ttaalleenn tt aann dd nnoo tt hheerr ddiirrttyy dd aanncc iinngg aallaa M Miilleeyy CCyyrruuss .. AAdd eellee ppaaiidd hheerr dduu eess aanndd hhaass pprroo vveenn tthh aatt ttaalleenn tt ttrruu m mpp ss ggiim m-miicckk ss ee vveerryy tt iim m mee.. AAm myy Wiinn eehhoo uussee w W waass ssiim miillaarrllyy ttaall-eenntt eedd bb uutt aalllloo w weedd ddrruugg ss aann dd aallccoo hhooll tt oo kkiillll hheerr w w hheenn sshhee waass 22 77.. IIff yyoo uu dd oonn ’’tt bbeelliieevvee m w mee lliisstteenn ttoo oo nnee oo ff hheerr ssoo nngg ss oonn lliinn ee ssoo m meett iim mee.. TThh ee pprroooo ff iiss iinn tt hhee ppuu ddddiinn gg..

How come he police seem to year? have it out for black youth in TG this country? AS DD eeaarr TT GG,, CCoo aall.. AAnn dd tt hhaatt’’ ss ffiinn ee w wiitt hh m mee.. DDeeaarr AASS ,, II hheeaarr iitt’’ss ggoo iinngg tt oo bbee aa cc oolldd HHeerree’’ss aa nnoo vveell iidd eeaa tthh aatt iiss ssoo w wiinn tteerr aanndd ddeessppiitt ee bb eeiinngg pp oolliitt -ssiim mppllee… … dd oonn ’’tt bbrreeaakk tthh ee llaaw w.. iicc aallllyy iinncc oorrrreecc tt ttoo uu ssee dd iirrttyy TThheenn tthhee ssee ssoo-- ccaalllleedd ““vviiccttiim mss”” cc ooaall ttoo hheeaatt m myy hh uum mbbllee aabboo ddee,, woonn ’’tt hhaavvee tt oo w w w oorrrryy aabb oouu tt II ddoo nn ’’tt ccaa rree.. A Ann dd M Mee rrrryy bbeeiinn gg cc oonn ffrroo nn tteedd bbyy ppoo lliiccee.. CChh rriissttm maass ttoo yyoo uu tt oooo.. OOhh yyeeaahh –– aann dd iiff tthheeyy aarree ccoo nn -ffrroonn tteedd bbyy ppoo lliicc ee iinnsstt eeaadd oo ff Rocco is a common sense, tellrruunn nniinn gg,, ssttaann dd tthheeiirr gg rroouu nndd it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind aann dd aannssw weerr tthhee oo ffff iicc eerr oo ff tt hhee of guy offering real advice on llaaw ww wiitthh rreessppeecc tt.. YYoo uu m miigghh tt bbee any subject put before him. ssuurrpp rriiss eedd hh oow w hheellpp ffuu ll tthh ee Why pay thousands of dollars ppoolliicc ee cc aann bbee w w hheenn tthh eeyy ddoo nn’’ tt on a high-priced therapist hhaavvee ttoo cc hhaassee yyoo uu ddoo w wnn w whheenn when he’ll straighten you out tthheeyy aasskk yyoo uu ttoo ssttoo pp.. QQuu iitt for free. If you’d like advice ppllaayyiinn gg tthhee vviicc ttiim m aanndd bbeecc oom mee from Rocco e-mail him at aa rreessppoo nnssiibb llee m meem mbb eerr oo ff ssoocc ii-- goaskrocco@yahoo.com or drop him a line at Ask Rocco eett yy.. c/o Enigma P.O. Box 825 Dear Rocco, Chattanooga, TN 37401. What do you think Santa will bring you for Christmas this

Dear Rocco,

ENIGMA

DECEMBER 2015

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ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) Don't let your emotional partner upset you this month. Romantic relationships could be under pressure. Opportunities will come through behind the scenes activities. Your own small business on the side sounds pretty lucrative. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Thursday. TAURUS (Apr. 21- May 21) Don't let situations get out of control. You have made an accurate assessment of the situation and have come up with ideas that will save money. Find out more, if you want to start your own business. Your best efforts will come through invest-

ments concerning your home.

matters. You have a lot to offer. You Your luckiest events this month will may have difficulties at an emotional occur on a Monday. Your luckiest events this month will level with mates. Your partner may occur on a Sunday. push buttons that infuriate you. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) GEMINI Your luckiest events this month will Home improvement projects will go (May 22-June 21) occur on a Saturday. well if you delegate work to all your Use your quick wit to win points with family members. You will find it easy friends. Make the necessary changes LEO finalizing personal papers if you that will enable you to advance (July 23-Aug 22) make an effort. If it can make you financially. You'll feel much better Your attitudes at work will open new extra cash, it will be even better. when your slate is clean again. You avenues for you. You should consid- Show what a dedicated person you can make career changes that may er submitting some of your written can be. put you in a much higher earning work for publication. Jealous colbracket. leagues may try to undermine you. Your luckiest events this month will Someone may not be thinking of occur on a Tuesday. Your luckiest events this month will your best interests. occur on a Sunday. CAPRICORN Your luckiest events this month will (Dec 22.- Jan. 20) CANCER occur on a Thursday. You need an outlet. You will drive (June 22-July 22) your emotional partner crazy this You will be emotional about money VIRGO month. You will enjoy the interaction (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) with youngsters and take great pride Business and emotional partnerships in the projects you've completed. Job will run smoothly. Your partner may changes are in order. Go for internot understand your mood swings views or send out resumes. but if you are willing to communicate, a lot of grief can be avoided. Your luckiest events this month will Consider applying for a job in anoth- occur on a Friday. er part of the world. Put something away in case of an emergency. AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) Your luckiest events this month will Your attitudes are changing rapidly. occur on a Monday. Elders may get you going this month. Females may put demands or added LIBRA responsibilities on you. Put your (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) plans into motion by presenting your Avoid getting involved with married intentions to those who should be individuals. Responsibilities with able to give you financial support. respect to older relatives may be a burden. Travel will be on your mind, Your luckiest events this month will but you should be sure that you've occur on a Saturday. got all your work up-to-date. Get involved in sports groups or hobbies PISCES that attract you. (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) Make sure that new mates live up to Your luckiest events this month will your high standards. Overindulgent occur on a Saturday. people will cause disruptions in your life. Try to be considerate in your SCORPIO personal obligations. You can clear (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) up important legalities and sign conYour ability to help others will win tracts this month. you points. Try to understand their point of view. Your outgoing charm Your luckiest events this month will and obvious talent will be admired. occur on a Friday. Problems with your mate will develop if you don't let them have their way. ENIGMA

DECEMBER 2015

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Geopolitical Gumbeaux As I type this, the world seems to be on the brink of chaos. A Turkish F-16 shot down a Russian fighterbomber that had violated its airspace. At least the Turks say the Su24 violated its airspace. The Russians insist that their aircraft never left Syrian airspace. Rebels on the border, using weapons supplied by the U.S., shot down a Russian helicopter on a search and rescue mission… and may have shot at Russian aircrew members who had parachuted out of the crashing fighter-bomber. Tensions are running high. It’s hard to imagine Vladimir Putin just accepting the loss of two Russian aircraft and the accompanying loss of “face.” President Obama is urging a deescalation of tensions, but the uneasy alliance between the U.S. and Russia seems to be on shaky ground… …Meanwhile, Europe is still reeling after the ISIL attacks in Paris. Brussels, the capital of the European Union and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) remains under its highest level of alert and in a state of virtual lockdown due to “credible threats” of terrorist attack. The U.S. state department has issued

travel warnings for Americans traveling abroad. We haven’t seen global tensions this high since 9/11…

18 percent. (He was polling at 28 percent in late October, while Trump was at 20 percent.) Marco Rubio was at 13 percent in the most recent poll…

…This geopolitical uncertainty has already had an effect on U.S. politics. Dr. Ben Carson’s insane ignorance of foreign policy finally caught up with him. After repeatedly poor debate responses and several unfathomable public statements on world events, one of his own advisors expressed frustration at Carson’s inability to grasp foreign policy matters. It looks like the good doctor’s shortcomings in this area finally caught up with him. His Republican primary campaign has lost momentum… in a big way…

…While Trump remains at the top of the polls so far, I have a hard time believing that he’ll pick up much support when those candidates outside the top four finally give up. The billionaire political hobbyist has a strategy that appeals to those who are tired of “government as usual,” don’t like Mexicans or Muslims, and think Trump’s success in the business world make him qualified to run the country. There’s no doubt that the Republican National Committee is bracing itself for the frightening possibility that The Donald could …The latest polls in Iowa show the wind up as their presidential nomshort-term front-runner tumbling inee… fast. I often wondered who would reap the benefits if Carson’s star …Trump has repeatedly bragged started to fall. Surprisingly, it about what a good job he would do seems like Ted Cruz has scooped up the lion’s share of the support that Carson has lost. The Texas senator was the choice of 23 percent of likely Republican caucusgoers in the latest Quinnipiac University poll. Donald Trump was on top at 25 percent, while Carson slipped to

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Paul E. Burke Sr. Publisher D.A. Weinthal. Editor-In-Chief David Huff Managing Editor Chris Eason Photo Editor

Contributing Editors: Mark Haskins, Jim Sells, Mark Bedford. Chris McKay, David N. Marks, William Alexander, Dave Fernandez Founder: D.A. Weinthal Like us on Facebook ENIGMA

DECEMBER 2015

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“negotiating” with Putin. He somehow thinks that his experience in making big real estate deals will translate into international diplomacy. Trump’s net worth, according to his financial disclosure forms, is about $11 billion. Forbes magazine says it’s closer to $5.5 billion. Putin’s net worth is no less than $70 billion (Forbes’ estimate). Trump is a former reality television star. Putin is a former Lieutenant Colonel in the KGB. Do you really think Putin would be intimidated by (a hopefully hypothetical) President Trump. Not a chance… …The idea of an “outsider” candidate is understandably appealing to those frustrated by “politics as usual.” But a world on the brink of chaos doesn’t seem like the right time for “amateur hour” at the White House…

-- Mark Bedford


Shoot Me Again, Please Imagine you're at home, lying wounded, bleeding on your living room floor. You've been shot by some neighbors, many of them who've been moving into your once peaceful neighborhood. Imagine you pick up your cell phone and instead of dialing 911 you call the new neighbors. When they answer you say, "Could you please come back, I'm still alive, you need to shoot me again." Can you imagine doing that? Of course not, but there are those that would. Following the recent Islamic attacks in Paris, the claimed the lives of over one hundred and fifty, severely wounding over three hundred fifty others, Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany and champion of Islamic rights said, ""The proper response to jihad is tolerance and European values." She said that after knowing that her German security services had inadvertently stopped a car headed for Paris filled with weapons, grenades, and bombs. Her behavior defies logic. She's not alone.

Salon, an award-winning online news and entertainment site said, "After Paris, let's stop blaming Muslims and take a hard look at ourselves." They followed that up with this little ditty, "Paris jihad massacre shows that "right-wing" needs to "moderate their rhetoric." Shoot me again, please. Or how about this one from a newspaper in Iceland. "The Attack in Paris: Racists more dangerous than Islamists." Come on I'm still alive, shoot me. From the British newspaper The Guardian we hear, "After Paris jihad, "far-right groups may well fuel more hatred." Now the Brit's are in the line of fire of the big Islamic elephant in the room. Londonistan is growing, and The Guardian thinks its right-wing groups firing the shots. Mind boggling? And if the Chancellor of Germany isn't blind enough, the German Interior Minister said, "Don't link Paris jihad attacks to the migrant influx." Seems no one

ENIGMA

wants to point out the obvious to him, they've already confirmed that at least one of the murderers came from Syria via Greece. Then we have the Democratic Presidential debates last night in the US where Socialist Candidate Bernie Sanders said, "I "absolutely" still believe global warming poses the greatest threat to America." His answer was in response to a question asking him if the Paris Attacks changed his mind. On MSNBC, the hosts worried about the "tsunami of hatred" that will now meet Muslims in France. I'm not dead yet, shoot me again. The collective denial of the obvious, the obvious being the suicide of the very countries that allow these leaders and newsmen to exist, is just mind blowing. Only to be exceeded by President Obama's pronouncement on Good Morning America the morning of the Paris Attack that "we have ISIS contained". And if that doesn't melt what's left of your smoldering brain, President Obama announced

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he has earmarked another $700 million dollars to further arm the Syrian 'rebels' fighting to topple President Assad of Syria. The $700 million is in addition to the billion, that is billion with a b, he spent arming and training those same rebels who after all the training only five, that is just five, rebels were standing. All or most of the weapons had fallen into the hands of ISIS, who the President said we have contained. I've never done drugs in my life. I've heard stories from recovering addicts, read a few things along the way. But I have to say, I can't imagine a drug induced trip being more bizarre than what people of the free world are witnessing these days. It's like a bad dream, warped and twisted. Alfred Hitchcock couldn't write this script. Maybe one day we'll know who is writing the script of our collective suicide. In the meantime, give me the phone, I need to call, shoot me again and again.

- Ed Kugler


BATON ROUGE, La. - An animal protection group’s lawsuit alleges that a Louisiana theme park’s chimpanzee is isolated and neglected and spends her days smoking cigarettes given to her by park visitors and drinking Coke. The Animal Legal Defense Fund announced it is suing the Dixie Landin’ theme park and its owner, Sam Hayes, for violating the Endangered Species Act by keeping the chimpanzee isolated and neglected. The advocacy group describes Candy as “the country’s loneliest chimpanzee”

and alleges she “subsists in a virtually barren concrete cage, where she passes her time staring into space, drinking Coca-Cola, and smoking cigarettes thrown to her by patrons.” The group alleges Candy has suffered physical and psychological harm as a result of her living conditions at the park. “This is a landmark case for animal protection,” Animal Legal Defense Fund Executive Director Stephen Wells said. “Chimpanzees don’t deserve to suffer in punishing isolation, and we will see that justice is served.” The lawsuit quotes famed primatologist Jane Goodall as opposing Candy’s continued iso-

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lation from others of her species. “I strongly recommend that [Candy] be introduced to other chimpanzees in a setting more suitable to her psychological enhancement,” the suit quotes Goodall as saying. The group is seeking to have Candy relocated to the Chimp Haven sanctuary in Louisiana. PLOVER, Wis. - A Wisconsin police chief said an ordinance imposing fines on the parents of school bullies is based around the idea that “it’s the parents’ job to raise the kids.” Plover Police Chief Dan Ault, who suggested the ordinance passed by the town two weeks ago, said parents of children who police

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determine to have engaged in bullying behavior multiple times within a 90-day period can now be made to pay a $124 fine. “It’s not the school’s responsibility to raise the kids. It’s the school’s job to teach the kids. It’s not the police’s job to raise your kids,” Ault told WAOW-TV. “It’s the parents’ job to raise the kids.” Ault, who said his scheme was partially inspired by data suggesting teen suicide is sometimes associated with violence in schools, said he hopes parents are inspired to take responsibility for their kids and act like


role models. “If my kids broke something or something happened, I was responsible for it,” he told the Stevens Point Journal. “One way or the other, I was responsible for it as the parent.” Jeanne Koepke, principal of McDill Elementary School in Plover, welcomed the new ordinance. “Students have to learn to be social to each other, and that can sometimes be very mean,” she said. “I certainly can’t imagine you don’t get good results when including parents/guardians in what’s going on with their children, so I have to assume it’s going to be a good result.” Ault said the first offense will only result in a warning and an offer of help for the parents. “If they don’t know what to do, we’re certain we’ll be able to provide some guidance on who to contact,” Ault said. “Do kids have disputes, yes, but this repeated behavior where somebody you know, is intentionally being malicious, that’s when we’re involved.” ORLANDO, Florida - Terrorism is an unpleasant reality of the modern world we live in. But thank God for guardians of freedom like those who work at the Transportation Security Administration or TSA. Their tireless efforts have kept us safe from the likes of the 5-yearold monster in today’s story. 5year-old enemy of freedom Levi Zilka and his father David were going home to Pennsylvania after Levi’s first trip to Disney World. In a flagrant disregard of federal guidelines, young O-Levi bin Zilka attempted to compromise the safety of the flight by smuggling aboard a Buzz Lightyear ray gun that his uncle had bought him as a souvenir. But the TSA at Fort Lauderdale International Airport was too quick for this little criminal mastermind. TSA and Department of Homeland Security guidelines require all realistic replicas of firearms be checked, but the Zilkas only had carry-on luggage. Just like terrorists would. Judging the bright purple and green plastic toy to be a threat, the stalwart TSA wrestled the ‘weapon’ out of the villain’s clutches and disposed of it. Since the Zilkas only had carry-on luggage, that meant chucking it into the nearest trash can, prompting the little Levi to burst into tears.

CLERMONT, Fla. - A Florida woman was arrested after calling a local police station and asking for wings and cigarettes. Forty-five-year-old Liann Gae Watson is accused of calling police and asking them to bring her wings and cigarettes, claiming that she was too drunk to drive and get them herself. When officers arrived, she repeatedly asked them for cigarettes while claiming that the call was a joke, The Orlando Sentinel reports. Police report that she switched back and forth between hysterical laughter and sobbing while being interviewed and was ultimately handcuffed and placed in the patrol car. When she arrived at the Lake County Jail, she reportedly began shouting profanities, banging her head against a partition and kicking her legs up toward the ceiling. After being warned four times, police restrained her arms and legs to prevent her form harming herself and others. MILWAUKEE - Citations were handed out at a McDonald’s in Milwaukee after a misunderstanding in the drive-thru spilled over into a brawl inside the restaurant. A couple, attempting to order a 20piece McNugget meal from the drive-thru, entered the restaurant to complain after they were unable to hear the McDonald’s employee through the speaker. Upon entering the restaurant, the couple began shouting obscenities at various employees. The situation escalated as the 35-year-old female guest slapped a 62-year-old McDonald’s employee in the face, knocking her glasses off, after the employee asked the couple to settle down. At this point, the employee came from behind the counter and proceeded to grab the customers hair. The customer’s husband, 41, retaliated by grabbing the employees arms and repeatedly punching her in the head. Witnesses called 911 as the couple attempted to exit the scene. All three participants in the brawl were cited with disorderly conduct and face a $450 fine. The employee told police that she grabbed the woman’s hair because she was extremely “pissed off”, she was able to return to work at the restaurant following the incident. ENIGMA

DECEMBER 2015

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The Comedy Catch returns “home” as they return downtown where it all began 30 years ago to our new home at the Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus. Join us as we start a new tradition of laughter on the Southside.

CONCERT CALENDAR “Go See Live Music”

This calendar covers events for December and beyond. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

TTU U EESSDDAAYY DDeecceem mbbeerr 11 DECEMBER 2-6

SHAUN JONES

DECEMBER 17 & 20

BIG ED CAYLOR

SHAUN JONES IS A TRUE COMEDIAN! ONE OF THE H O T - T E S T COMICS ON THE COMEDY SCENE RIGHT NOW. TRAV-ELING WORLDWIDE MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH, HE SHOWS THAT FUNNY IS FUNNY. WHETHER YOUR A COMPANY CEO OR THE GUY ON FRIES AT YOUR LOCAL FAST FOOD RESTAURANT, YOU WILL SEE THAT EVERYONE WILL BE WELL ENTERTAINED.

FEATURED AND CO WROTE CLEDUS T JUDD’S VIDEO “DOUBLE D CUPS” AND “HONEYMOON.” BIG ED IS SOUTHERN TO THE BONE, AND C O U N T R Y A S C O R NBREAD. BIG ED PUTS ON A BIG SHOW THAT YOU WON’T SOON FORGET. HE IS OUTRAGEOUS, ORIGINAL AND OFF THE CHART …

DECEMBER 9-13

DECEMBER 18 & 19

JAKE GULLEDGE

A MUSICAL ACT THAT HAS OPENED FOR HENRY CHO AND ETTA MAY AND THE AUDIENCES LOVED HIM. TRAVELING ON THE ROAD FOR 20 PLUS YEARS HAS ALLOWED JAKE TO SEE AND EXPERIENCE AUDIENCES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. WITH A UNIQUE APPROACH TO USING HUMOROUS STORIES AND AN R&B VOCAL STYLE IN CONTEMPORARY COMEDY, JAKE IS SET APART. HE HAS THE ABILITY TO REACH MULTIPLE GENRES BECAUSE OF THE HUMOR HE ADDS – IT BREAKS WALLS DOWN.

JAMES GREGORY

FOR OVER TWO DECADES, THE UNFORGETTABLE CARICATURE OF VETERAN COMEDIAN JAMES GREGORY HAS STOOD GRINNING: HIS SHIRT UNTUCKED, HIS ARMS OUTSTRETCHED, A CAREFREE WELCOME TO A DOWN-HOME, HILARIOUS COMEDY EXPERIENCE. IT’S STORYTELLING AT ITS BEST. THE TRADEMARK CARICATURE IS THE ESSENCE OF JAMES GREGORY’S COMEDY: RIBTICKLING REFLECTIONS ON LIFE FROM THE FRONT PORCH. PARKING AVAILABLE IN THE CHOO CHOO LOT, CARTA GARAGE, OR REPUBLIC PARKING LOTS

1400 MARKET ST. 423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM ENIGMA

TTRREE M MOONN TT TTAAVVEE RRNN (Chattanooga) Open Mic w/ Mike McDade BBAARRKKII NNGG LLEEGG SS TT HHEE AATTEE RR (Chattanooga) Will Hoge HHEELL LL AATT TTHH EE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) We Were Promised Jetpacks, Seoul

WEEDDNNEESSDDAAYY DDeecceem W mbbeerr 22 TTHH EE CC OOM M EEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) Shaun Jones RRAAW W (Chattanooga) Open Jam CCOO BBBB EENNEE RRGGYY PPEE RRFF OORRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN NTT EERR (Atlanta) Dave Koz, Jonathan Butler, Candy Dulfer, Righteous Brother Bill Medley

TT H HUURRSSDDAAYY DDeecceem mbbeerr 33 TTHH EE CC OOM M EEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) Shaun Jones BBUU DD’’SS (Chattanooga) DJ Hammer TTRREE M MO ON N TT TTA AVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Songwriters Showcase TTHH EE CC AAM MPP H HO OU U SSEE (Chattanooga) Open Mic CCAALLEE DDOO NNIIAA LLOOUUNN GGEE (Athens, GA) Southern Culture on the Skids IIM MPPRRO OVV CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB (Atlanta) Steve-O SSYYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Atlanta) Michael Feinstein CCEE NNTT EERR SSTT AAGGEE (Atlanta) Monica December 3

FFRRIID DAAYY DDeecceem mbbeerr 44 TTHH EE CC OOM M EEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) Shaun Jones RRAAW W (Chattanooga) DJ Barnaby JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHH EEM MIIA A (Chattanooga) Holly Golightly MEEM M MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Lonestar TTHH EE SSTT AARR BBAARR (Atlanta) Southern Culture on the Skids VVAARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY HH OOUUSS EE (Atlanta) Nick Lowe, Los Straitjackets, The Cactus Blossoms IIM MPPRRO OVV CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB (Atlanta) Steve-O CCOO BBBB EENNEE RRGGYY PPEE RRFF OORRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN NTT EERR (Atlanta) Will Downing, Kenny Lattimore,

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Maysa TT HHEE SSTT AARR BBAARR (Atlanta) Southern Culture on the Skids TT EERRM M IIN NA ALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) Ryan Bingham HH EELLLL AATT TTHH EE M MA ASSQ QU U EERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) The Acacia Strain, Counterparts, Glass Cloud, Fit For An Autopsy, Kublai Khan RREE DD LLIIGG HHTT CC AAFFÉÉ (Atlanta) “International Pop Overthrow” The Shut-Ups, Kenny Howes & The Yeah!, Paul Melancon TT EENN NNEE SSSSEEEE TT HHEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) The Avett Brothers WA W ARR M MEEM MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Awolnation, Highly Suspect, Red Sun Rising CC AANNNN EERRYY BBAALLLLRROOOO M M (Nashville) Awolnation, Highly Suspect, Red Sun Rising December 4 M EERRCC YY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Atlanta) Those Darlins

SSA ATT UURRDDAA YY DDee ccee m mbbee rr 55 TT HHEE CC OOM M EEDDYY CC AATT CCHH (Chattanooga) Shaun Jones JJ ..JJ ..’’SS BBOO HHEE M MIIA A (Chattanooga) T Hardy Morris, Folk Killer RREE VVEE LLRRYY RROO OOM M (Chattanooga) Strung Like A Horse SSAATT UURRNN (Birmingham) Southern Culture on the Skids ZZ YYDD EECC OO (Birmingham) Relient K CC OOBBBB EE NNEE RRGGYY PPEERRFF OORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Brian Setzer Orchestra IIM M PPRRO OVV CC O OM M EED DYY CC LLU UBB (Atlanta) Steve-O TT HHEE M MA ASS Q QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) The Academy Is... TT HHEE TT AABBEERRNNAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Charles Kelley, Maren Morris RREE DD LLIIGG HHTT CC AAFFÉÉ (Atlanta) “International Pop Overthrow” The Sunset District, Dot 22, Brent Daniel CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY N NA ASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) Nick Lowe

SSU UNNDDAAYY DDee ccee m mbbee rr 66 TTHHEE CC OOM M EEDDYY CCAA TTCCHH (Chattanooga) Shaun Jones SSKK YYZZOOOO (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter RR YYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Brian Setzer Orchestra EEDDDDIIEE’’SS AATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Al Stewart

MOONNDDAAYY DDeecceem M mbbeerr 77 TT RREEM M OONN TT TT AAVVEERRNN (Chattanooga) Trivia Night TT HHEE OOFF FFIICC EE (Chattanooga) SpeakEasy FF OOXX && HH OOUU NNDD (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter TT HHEE TT AABBEERRNNAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Sturgill Simpson, Billy Wayne Davis EE XXIITT// IINN (Nashville) Ryan Bingham


RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Little Big Town, Dierks Bentley, Eric Paslay, Brett Eldredge, Cam, Bobby Bones & The Raging Idiots

UPPCCO U OM MIIN NG G EEVVEEN NTTSS RREEVVEELL RRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) Dopapod, Nth Power December 8 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Sturgill Simpson, Billy Wayne Davis December 8 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Kristin Chenoweth December 8 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Steel Panther December 8 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Ryan Bingham December 8 CC EEN NTT EE RR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) Between the Buried and Me, Enslaved, Intronaut, Native Construct December 8 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Ryan Bingham December 8 TT H HEE CCO OM MEE D DYY CC AATTCC H H (Chattanooga) Jake Gulledge December 9 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Pujol December 9 HEE AAVVEEN H N AATT TTH H EE M M AASSQ QU UEERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Silverstein, Senses Fail, Hundredth, Capsize December 9 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) John Scofield, Jon Cleary December 9 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Kristin Chenoweth December 9 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Jonny Lang, Dwan Hill December 9 TT H HEE CCO OM MEE D DYY CC AATTCC H H (Chattanooga) Jake Gulledge December 10 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Brave Baby, Daddy Issues December 10 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRM M SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EEN N TT EERR (Nashville) Smokey Robinson December 10 IIM M PPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CC LLU UBB (Atlanta) Norm McDonald December 10 TT H HEE CCO OM MEE D DYY CC AATTCC H H (Chattanooga) Jake Gulledge December 11 RREEVVEELL RRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) High on Fire, Crowbar December 11 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Black Willis December 11 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRM M SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EEN N TT EERR (Nashville) Smokey Robinson December 11 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Amy Schumer December 11 CC IITT YY W WII N NEERRYY N N AASSH HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Keller Williams December 11 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, New Breed Brass Band December 11 IIM M PPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CC LLU UBB (Atlanta) Norm McDonald December 11 HEE AAVVEEN H N AATT TTH H EE M M AASSQ QU UEERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) The Black Dahlia Murder, Goatwhore, Iron Reagan, Entheos, Artificial Brain December 11 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Dawes, Hiss Golden Messenger December 11 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE AATT RREE (Knoxville) Henry Cho December 11 TT H HEE CCO OM MEE D DYY CC AATTCC H H (Chattanooga) Jake Gulledge December 12 BBA ARRK KIIN NG G LLEE G GSS TT H H EEAATT EERR (Chattanooga) The Mailboxes, Kerchief, Birds With Fleas, Chilhowee Royal December 12 FFEE RRSSTT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Dee Dee Bridgewater December 12

IIM MPPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CCLL U UBB (Atlanta) Norm McDonald December 12 SSM MIITT H H ’’SS O O LLD D EE BBA ARR (Atlanta) Will Kimbrough December 12 TTH H EE 112200 TT A AVVEE RRN N && M MU USSIICC H HA ALLLL (Marietta, GA) Strung Like A Horse December 12 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Henry Cho December 12 HIIG H GH HW WA ATTTT (Nashville) Opposite Box December 12 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H (Chattanooga) Jake Gulledge December 13 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Lovedrug, Side Effects December 13 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) TobyMac December 13 WA W ARR M MEE M MO O RRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) City and Colour, Bahamas December 13 TTH H EE W WA ARREEH HO OU USSEE (Clarksville, TN) Alien Ant Farm, (hed)pe, Murder F.M. December 13 IIN NFF IIN NIITT EE EEN NEE RRG GYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Duluth, GA) Luis Miguel December 13 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Kid Cudi December 13 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Ed Roland December 14 SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Michael McDonald December 14 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) “Star 94 Jingle Jam” Pentatonix, Andy Grammer, Needtobreathe December 14 RRO OCC K KEETT O OW WN N (Nashville) August Burns Red, Every Time I Die, Stick To Your Guns, Polyphia, Wage War December 14 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Matisyahu December 15 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Ed Roland December 15 CCEE N NTT EERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) August Burns Red, Every Time I Die, Stick To Your Guns, Polyphia, Wage War December 15 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) The Weeknd, Halsey, Travis Scott December 15 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Raul Malo December 15 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Ed Roland December 16 IIN NFF IIN NIITT EE EEN NEE RRG GYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) TransSiberian Orchestra December 16 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H Big Ed Caylor December 17 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Megan Jean and the KFB, Iron Fez December 17 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) The Molly Ringwalds December 17 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Justin Bieber, Nick Jonas, Fifth Harmony, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Hailee Steinfeld, DNCE December 17 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) “105.7 Holiday Spectacular” Awolnation, Metric December 17 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H James Gregory, Julie Scoggins December 18 EEXXIITT //II N N (Nashville) Jump, Little Children December 18 TTH H EE A ARREEN NA AA ATT G GW WIIN NN NEETT TT CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith December 18 AIISSLLEE 55 (Atlanta) The Whigs December 18 A TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) “105.7 Holiday Spectacular” The Arcs December 18 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H James Gregory, Julie Scoggins December 19 TTH H EE CCA AM M PP H HO OU USSEE (Chattanooga) Black Market Research, Arc & Stones, Behold The Brave December 19

ENIGMA

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JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) James Legg (Record Release Show) December 19 AIISSLLEE 55 (Atlanta) The Whigs December 19 A TT H HEE CCO OM MEE D DYY CC AATTCC H H Big Ed Caylor December 20 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Danny Fingers and Thumbs December 20 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AARREEN N AA (Atlanta) Cirque Musica December 20 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Arcs December 20 TT IIVVO OLLII TT H H EEAATT RREE (Chattanooga) The Dave Rawlings Machine December 26 LLA AU UG GH HII N NG G SSK KU ULLLL LLO OU UN NG G EE (Atlanta) Tone Bell December 26 IIM M PPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CC LLU UBB (Atlanta) George Wallace December 26 RREEVVEELL RRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) New Madrid December 27 LLA AU UG GH HII N NG G SSK KU ULLLL LLO OU UN NG G EE (Atlanta) Tone Bell December 27 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Peewee Moore, Dallas Moore Band, Roger Alan Wade December 28 FFO O XX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Widespread Panic December 29-31 EED DD DIIEE ’’SS AATTTT IICC (Atlanta) Asleep At The Wheel December 30 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Gregg Allman December 30 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Old Crow Medicine Show, Madisen Ward And The Mama Bear December 30 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) STS9 December 30-January 2 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Here Come the Mummies December 31

RREEVVEELLRRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) The Velcro Pygmies December 31 SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Gregg Allman December 31 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) Perpetual Groove December 31–January 2 GRRA G AN ND D TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Cartersville, GA) B.J. Thomas December 31 BBA ASSH HO ON N BBRRO OA AD DW WA AYY (Nashville) Kings of Leon, Sugar & The Hi Lows, The Whigs, Wild Cub, Kelsea Ballerini December 31 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Marty Stuart December 31 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Old Crow Medicine Show, Madisen Ward And The Mama Bear December 31 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Delta Moon January 2 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Delbert McClinton January 2 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Gregg Allman January 5/6 BBA ARRK KIIN NG G LLEEG G SS TT H HEE A ATT EERR (Chattanooga) The John Cowan Band January 8 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) The John Cowan Band January 9 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) Killing Joke, The Soft Moon January14 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Steep Canyon Rangers January 15 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Grace Potter January 15 RREEVVEELLRRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) Steep Canyon Rangers January 16 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) John Sebastian January 16 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) City and Colour

ENIGMA

January 16 JJ..JJ..’’SS BBO OH H EEM MIIAA (Chattanooga) TORCHE, Day old Man, Jeff Carney January 17 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Madonna January 18 TTH H EE EE AARRLL (Atlanta) Saintseneca January 19 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Lamb of God, Anthrax, Deafheaven, Power Trip January 19 PPH H IILLIIPPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Madonna January 20 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Lamb Of God, Anthrax, Deafheaven, Power Trip January 20 HIIG H GH HW WAATT TT (Nashville) Robben Ford January 20 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Reverend Horton Heat, Unknown Hinson January 21 OZZ N O NAASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) Kaki King January 22 4400 W WAATT TT CC LLU U BB (Athens, GA) Reverend Horton Heat, Unknown Hinson January 22 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Nils Lofgren January 22 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Billy Gibbons January 23 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Nils Lofgren January 23 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Tool, Primus, 3Teeth January 23 WO W ORRK KPPLLAAYY TT H HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Stephen Kellogg January 24 IIN NFFIIN N IITT EE EE N NEE RRG GYY CC EEN NTT EERR (Duluth, GA) Tool, Primus, 3Teeth January 25 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Billy Gibbons January 26 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Moe. January 28

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EE D DD DII EE’’ SS AATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Angie Aparo January 28 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) G-Eazy, A$ap Ferg, Marc E. Bassy, Nef The Pharaoh January 28 CC O OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Johnny Mathis January 29 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Moe. January 29 TT H HEE BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Art Garfunkel January 29 FF O OXX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Macklemore & Ryan Lewis January 29 G RRAAN G ND DO OLLEE O OPPRRYY H HO OU USS EE (Nashville) Macklemore & Ryan Lewis January 30 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Moe. January 30 TT H HEE M MAASS Q QU UEE RRAAD DEE (Atlanta) Naughty By Nature January 31 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) O.A.R. January 31 IIN N FFIIN N IITTEE EEN N EERRG G YY CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Carrie Underwood February 1 & 2 CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY AA TTLLAAN N TTAA (Atlanta) Colin Hay February 5 TT H HEE BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Graham Nash February 5 WO W O RRK KPPLLAAYY TT H HEEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Aaron Carter February 5 ZZ YYD D EECC O O (Birmingham) Flow Tribe February 5 RREE VVEE LLRRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) Graveyard, Spiders February 6 TT IIVVO OLLII TTH H EEAATT RREE (Chattanooga) Jonny Lang February 6 TT H HEE M MAASS Q QU UEE RRAAD DEE (Atlanta) Europe February 6 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jenny Lewis, The Watson Twins, M. Ward


VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Big Head Todd & The Monsters, Mike Doughty February 20 TTH H EE EE A ARRLL (Atlanta) Agent Orange, In The Whale February 20 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Corey Smith February 20 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Vince Gill, Lyle Lovett February 20 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn February 20 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Ruthie Foster February 21 RREEVVEELLRRYY RRO OO OM M (Chattanooga) David Cook February 23 TTII VVO O LLII TT H HEE A ATT RREE (Chattanooga) Gary Clark Jr. February 24 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) David Cook February 24 EEXXIITT //II N N (Nashville) Agent Orange, In The Whale February 25 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Gary Clark Jr. February 26 BBLLIIN ND DW WIILLLLIIEE ’’SS (Atlanta) The Nighthawks February 26 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Livingston Taylor February 27 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) “Experience Hendrix” Billy Cox, Buddy Guy, Zakk Wylde, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Jonny Lang, Dweezil Zappa, Eric Johnson, Keb’ Mo’, Chris Layton, Mato Nanji, Noah Hunt, Henri Brown February 27 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Katt Williams February 27 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Bullet For My Valentine February 28 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) “Experience Hendrix” Billy Cox, Buddy Guy, Zakk Wylde, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Jonny Lang, Dweezil Zappa, Eric Johnson, Keb’ Mo’, Chris Layton, Mato Nanji, Noah Hunt, Henri Brown February 29 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Leon Bridges March 1 MA M ARRA ATT H HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Dropkick Murphys March 2 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Janet Jackson March 3 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Tedeschi Trucks Band March 3 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Blake Shelton, Chris Janson March 4 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Tedeschi Trucks Band March 4 TTH H EE BBU U CCK KH HEEA AD D TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Atlanta) The Floozies, Sunsquabi, Flamingosis March 5 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Dropkick Murphys March 5 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) George Thorogood & The Destroyers, J.J. Grey & Mofro March 7 CCEE N NTT EERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) Wolfmother March 7 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Rihanna, Tavis Scott March 9 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) John Mayall March 10 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) Burt Bacharach March 10 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Troye Sivan March 10 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) John Prine March 11 KN K NO O XXVVIILLLLEE A AU UD DIITT O O RRII U UM M (Knoxville) The 5th Dimension March 12

ENIGMA

FFO OXX TT H H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) The Moody Blues March 12 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) John Prine, Iris DeMent March 12 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Joe Satriani March 14 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Coheed & Cambria, Glassjaw, Silver Snakes March 14 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Coheed And Cambria, Glassjaw, Silver Snakes March 15 LLEEG GAA CCYY AARREEN N AA (Birmingham) Fall Out Boy, Awolnation, Pvris March 17 SSYYM M PPH HO ON NYY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Joan Baez March 17 TTIIVVO O LLII TT H HEE AATTRREE (Chattanooga) The Moody Blues March 18 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Rihanna, Tavis Scott March 18 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Vance Joy, Blind Pilot, Jamie Lawson March 19 ALLYYSS RRO A OBBIIN N SSO ON N SSTT EEPPH H EEN NSS PPEERRFFO O RRM MIIN NG G ARRTT SS CC EEN A N TT EERR (Birmingham) Joan Baez March 19 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Moody Blues March 20 SSYYM M PPH HO ON NYY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Joe Satriani March 23 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Nick Carter March 26 JJEEN NN NIIEE AAN ND D EERRSSO ON N TT H HEE AATT RREE (Marietta, GA) Herman’s Hermits Starring Peter Noone March 27 EEXXIITT //IIN N (Nashville) Yo La Tengo March 29 EED DD D IIEE’’ SS AATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Heather Nova March 30 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) G. Love &

Special Sauce April 1 TT RRAACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Eli Young Band April 2 JJ EEN NN N IIEE AAN ND DEE RRSSO ON N TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Marietta, GA) Vicki Lawrence April 2 33RRD D && LLIIN ND D SSLLEE YY (Nashville) G. Love & Special Sauce April 3 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Robin Trower April 6 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Robin Trower April 7 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) They Might Be Giants April 8 RRO O CCK KEE TTO OW WN N (Nashville) Underoath April 11 IIN N FFIIN N IITTEE EEN N EERRG G YY CCEE N NTT EERR (Duluth, GA) Mumford & Sons, Blake Mills April 11 PPH H IILLIIPPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Justin Bieber April 12 IIN N FFIIN N TTEE EEN N EERRG G YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Duluth, GA) Mumford & Sons April 12 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) “Jethro Tull - The Rock Opera” Ian Anderson April 13 PPH H IILLIIPPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Justin Bieber April 13 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Kathy Griffin April 15 TT H HO OM MPPSSO ON N BBO O LLIIN NG G AARREE N NA A (Knoxville) Brantley Gilbert April 15 ASSCC EE N A ND D AAM MPPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Nashville) Bryan Adams April 15 BBRRIID DG GEESS TTO ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Mumford & Sons, Blake Mills April 15 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH HII TTH H EEA ATT RREE A ATT EE N NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Bryan Adams April 16

SO O L U D T

February 6 CC IITT YY W WII N NEERRYY N N AASSH HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Graham Nash February 6 FFRRA AN NK KLLIIN N TTH H EEAATT RREE (Franklin, TN) Colin Hay February 6 EED DD DIIEE ’’SS AATTTT IICC (Atlanta) Francine Reed February 7 CC IITT YY W WII N NEERRYY N N AASSH HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Graham Nash February 7 FFO O XX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) 2Cellos February 9 MCC K M KEE N NZZIIEE AARREEN N AA (Chattanooga) Newsboys, Jeremy Camp, Mandisa, Wickham, Family Force 5, Audio Adrenaline, Danny Gokey, Citizen Way, Shaun Groves February 10 AN A ND D RREEW W JJ AACCK K SSO ON NH HAALL LL (Nashville) Yanni February 10 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Wilco, Girlpool February 10 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) R5, Ryland February 10 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Wilco, Girlpool February 11 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) George Clinton And Parliament Funkadelic February 11 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Beth Hart February 12 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Barry Manilow February 12 NAASS H N HVVIILLLLEE M MU UN NIICC IIPPAALL AAU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Maze Feat. Frankie Beverly, Joe, Fantasia February 12 WIILLD W DH HO O RRSSEE SS AALLO OO ON N (Nashville) Rick Springfield February 12 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Willie Nelson February 12 CC LLA ASSSSIICC CC EEN N TTEE RR (Athens, GA) Jerry Seinfeld February 12 CC EEN NTT EE RR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) Todd Rundgren February 12 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Mutemath February 13 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Sheryl Crow February 13 WIILLD W DH HO O RRSSEE SS AALLO OO ON N (Nashville) Rick Springfield February 13 FFRRA AN NK KLLIIN N TTH H EEAATT RREE (Franklin, TN) Colin Hay February 13 HAA RRRRAAH H H ’’SS CCH H EERRO OK KEEEE CC AASSIIN NO O (Cherokee) Tracy Morgan February 13 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Mutemath February 14 BBJJCC CC CCO ON NCC EERRTT H H AALLLL (Birmingham) Fantasia, Leela James February 14 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Sheryl Crow February 14 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Papadosio February 17 TT H HEE IIN NTT EERRN N AATTII O ON N AALL (Knoxville) Excision, Figure, Bear Grillz February 17 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Ron Pope, The Nighthawks February18 EEG G YY PPTTIIAAN N RRO OO OM M AATT FF O OXX TT H H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Patty Griffin, Sara Watkins, Anais Mitchell February 18 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Breaking Benjamin, Starset February 18 ALLAABBAAM A MAA TTH H EEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Vince Gill, Lyle Lovett February 19 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Travis Tritt February 19 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Dave Mason February 19 BBA ARRK KIIN NG G LLEE G GSS TT H H EEAATT EERR (Chattanooga) Annabelle’s Curse February 20 FFO O XX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Yanni February 20

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The Index of Suspicion What is your index of suspicion? Do you trust members of your family? Your friends? Your neighbors? Are you paranoid in public places? Do you tremble when you encounter someone who looks different or acts in an odd way? While answers may vary from yes to no and back again, we all possess certain bits and segments of doubt, insecurity, distrust, and wariness. Often this is a fine idea as we protect ourselves from those who are unscrupulous or who seek to harm. At other times, while I may feel nervous and anxious at the outset, these dissipate as feelings of confidence and safety grow. When I run in the morning in the dark, I am cautious. When I spot someone approaching I keep my eyes wide open, checking to see if friend or foe is heading my way. It is a rarity that this little bit of jitters expands into full-blown anxiety, but it does happen especially

if it is a large man in a big coat or jacket. I realize that I should be just as cautious with a petite woman in tights, but somehow these two are just not the same. I eyeball the situation and then determine whether to keep jogging in the same direction or turn around and dash away. I protect myself so that I can enjoy another day. This index of suspicion is one that I can control by being wary, staying in safe, well lit locations, paying attention to my surroundings, and carrying my cell phone. The necessary precautions are easy to complete and so security envelops me. There are other places where I am not quite as secure, for example, in a large crowd. It is not that I am troubled about “bad guys” in the mob, but rather that I am apprehensive about the mob itself. What if someone yells, “Fire!” and a stampede ensues? What if a brawl erupts and I am at

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the epicenter with no handy exit nearby? What if there is an earthquake or an alarm bell or a breach insecurity? I can contend with my own needs and trepidations, but what will I do about thousands of others who encircle me? And so the complexity of the index grows with each “What if” that I venture. What if evil individuals board my train or my plane? What if someone with weapons enters the school where I volunteer? What if a crazy on the road decides that rage must explode and I am the first victim in sight? What if is an ominous force that can shake my body and my soul. When things are within my control, I have choices. I can move, change direction, avoid the avoidable, reroute my route. When things are not in my control, I am at the mercy of others and I really detest that feeling. My index soars as my control level

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dips. Now there is a new index of suspicion, circling and creating fear of the boogey man. The boogey man is anything and anyone that we do not know or understand. This includes fear of foreigners, fear of other religions, fear of the unknown, and fear of fear. With the recent flood of immigrants across the world, immigrants who flee persecution, oppression, and violence, the meter is tapping out as people scream and shout and utter attacks on a presence that is not even here. If the regular, dayto-day index of suspicion is at 5%, this new index shoots out of the top as it clears 120%. Only reason and reasonability can solve this issue and chase our fear away. Caution is advisable, but trust must reenter our hearts and minds.

- Gini Cunningham




MONEY MANAGEMENT

HOW TO AVOID GIVING AWAY MONEY UNINTENTIONALLY The following four types of fraud have implications for almost all businesses and we all need to think of ways of reducing the risk they pose.

If in any doubt, just delete them. If necessary 'phone you bank or whoever in case they really were trying to contact you. Ghosts on the Payroll.

Cyber Fraud. There are too many kinds to go into here, but I will mention something I have encountered a lot: Phishing. People send me emails with links or attachments that contain viruses or malware. Some of the e-mails are in themselves fraudulent, such as phoney invoices, or begging letters, but even those appearing to be receipts or messages from your bank are dangerous.

I remember a woman who worked in the payroll section of a company. She paid herself a lot more than she was supposed to and then paid her husband and other members of her family a lot of money even though they did not work there. It was eventually discovered by the year-end audit. · Always design your systems of work so that no one person can add people or increase pay-rates without anyone else approving.

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· Do not rely on a once-a-year audit. People should never be sure auditors will not appear unexpectedly.

A broker added elements to genuine claims as he forwarded them to the insurers. These included injuries, additional passengers, and car hire. He always had the · Routine cost statements should cheques or other payments made be produced. Someone should to him, from which he paid the notice unplanned increases. claimants, keeping large profits for himself. He colluded with: · A list of payees should be produced every payday and someone - A car-hire firm. should notice any "new" employ- - A solicitor. ees. - A doctor, producing phoney medical reports on demand. Car Sales Scam. He was aware that different insurA garage owner rented out his ers had different practices regardforecourt to a stranger who want- ing investigating claims. He always ed it for second-hand car sales. ensured he kept his claims just He paid a a month in advance in below the threshold. He was cash. There was a "Grand Opening caught when a claimant contacted Sale" with massive discounts. Cash his insurers direct and was only. All the cars were quickly amazed to learn of all the paysold. ments they had made to him for his minor accident. He and they Soon people came back with com- went to the police. plaints about the cars. They were all faulty and not worth even the Even if you are not in the insurdiscounted prices. The dealer was ance business, think how this nowhere to be found. could apply to you. And these are some controls you could apply. The garage owner found himself on the receiving end of a lot of · Avoid letting one person chanclaims and accusations, of which nel all payments through himself. he was innocent. He managed to defend himself successfully but · Do not have a rigid policy for incurred legal costs and his repu- investigating anything. tation suffered a lot. · Be suspicious if someone always · Beware of anything that seems uses the same subcontractors, e.g. too good to be true. It probably is! the car-hire firm and the doctor. · At least sometimes, insist on · Beware of anyone who insists bypassing the middle-man and on cash only. speak to the end client. · Always check the credentials and identity of potential business Do not give away money unless associates, even if you think the you intend to! association is very "arms-length". - John Harvey Murray Motor Insurance Scam.

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Michael Alfano, the Face of Comedy in Chattanoga Makes His Move For 30 years The Comedy Catch has been providing the city with it’s most fun night out. Owner Michael Alfano has been captain of this ship for a majority of its existence that has seen some of the biggest names in comedy graces the stage. While a lot of clubs and restaurants rely on their city of origin to build their reputation, The Comedy Catch is known nationwide as one of the best places not only see a show, but perform as well. The list of names that have graced the stage is literally a Who’s Who on Comedy Central and the major networks (The Comedy Catch actually predates Comedy Central). Originally with its roots downtown upstairs at the old Holiday Inn where Dr, Sage’s Entertainment Parlor once stood, the club made a bold move a few years later where they thrived until the end of October when Alfano took a leap in faith and moved the club into the Chattanooga Choo Choo campus on the now trendy Southside. The charismatic owner reflects on the

club’s past as well as plans for the where the people are. future. HHoow w m muu cchh ttiim mee ddiidd yyoouu ppuutt iinnttoo NNoott m maa nnyy ppeeooppll ee m maa yy rr eeaall iizz ee iitt bbuutt ddee cciiddiinngg ttoo m moovvee?? W W aass aa lloott ooff TThhee CC oom meeddyy CC aattcchh hh aass iitt oorrii ggiinnss iinn tthhoouu gghhtt ppuu tt iinnttoo ii tt oorr w w aass iitt aa nn eeaass yy ddoow wnnttoow w nn CChh aa ttttaa nnooooggaa.. W W hh aatt ddee cciiss iioonn?? ttooookk ss oo ll oonngg ttoo ggeett yyoouu gguuyy ss bbaa cckk This all hit us with a vision. I was iinnttoo ttoow wnn?? walking through the property with From ’85 to ’87 they were Dr. Sage’s the Kinseys. We were looking at right where the new Blue Cross doing something in Centennial Blue Shield building is. The build- Theatre but it was too slanted and ing was imploded many years ago. a little bit too much for us and

“When I saw the drawings there was no decision to be made. That was the vision that we saw.” Then it was moved out to Brainerd. What took us so long? Basically we owned the building. We had a fair amount of success there and parking was good but as downtown grew; especially Southside and how Chattanooga changed, we thought we had to change with it and go

there wasn’t a kitchen. As you now know Track 29 is going into Centennial Theatre. After we looked at the theatre we were just walking around the property and we walked by what was the Station House and I said building right next to them would be a real cool entertainment venue to have two together and maybe add a third one. Then Jon, Adam (Kinsey) and I walked by Terminal Pub and looked down 14th Street. Flying Squirrel’s on the other end and Terminal Pub is here. Wouldn’t it be neat if this avenue was a corridor of nightclubs? A few months later the Kinseys called me back and they had reached out to some architects and had some drawings. When I saw the drawings there was no decision to be made. That was the vision that we saw. It was in paper. I just had to negotiate so that I could get in here. But no real decision. It was a vision.

YYoouu gguuyyss w w eerr ee ii nn BBrr aaii nneerr dd ffoorr ccllooss ee ttoo 3300 yyeeaa rrss .. W Waa ss tthhee rree aa ssee nnttiim meenn-ttaall ffeeeell iinngg m moovvii nngg oouutt ooff tthhee oolldd llooccaattiioonn?? Yeah, the last night there was very interesting. A lot of our regulars came out; family members came out – a lot of the comics. We had a full house of people who played a big part working there, performing there and myself and my family living there - literally sometimes. (laughs) So yeah, it was big. We ENIGMA

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still own the building. We’re trying to get new tenants in there or come up with a new project to keep it occupied and keep it viable and keep Brainerd Road in good taste.

UU nnllii kkee m muussii cc ccoom meeddyy ddooeess nn’’tt ggoo tthhrroouugghh cchhaannggeess ii nn ggeennrr ee ppee rr ssee.. HH aavvee yyoouu hhaadd aa ll ooyyaall ffaa nn bbaass ee?? Yes, we have a strong regular base. They’ve been coming to see the comics that they love. It’s been interesting literally watching people grow up. We’ll see people come in on their first date. Then we’ll see them come back a couple of times on a couple of dates. Then they’ll get married and disappear then come back a couple of years later and they’ve had kids. Then a couple of years later they’ll bring their kids out. We’ve kind of grown up with the city. I always get a kick out of watching the dating to marriage process. It happens quite a bit. A lot of people will have sentimental feelings. “Oh, that was our first date.” And it is a great first date. It’s an easy first date. You don’t really have to entertain your date. You get entertained together. Then you’ve got something to talk about right after the show if you go out for a cocktail or something else. We have a lot of really good regulars. A lot of them supported us through Kickstarter. Some of them came out and helped move furniture. Some were there at the last showing in Brainerd and the first show here at the Choo Choo. Without them, the core of our fan base we wouldn’t be anything. Our goal is to grow and get businessmen that are downtown, get some of the tourists, get some of the young people who enjoy entertainment downtown.

DD oo yyoouu ppee rrccee iivvee yyoouurrss eellff cchhaa nnggii nngg oorr m mooddiiffyyii nngg yyoouu ttaall eenntt rroossttee rr nnoow w tthhaatt yyoouu’’vv ee m moovvee dd?? We have a staple of regulars that I work once to twice a year – James Gregory, Killer Beaz, Etta May, the hypnotist (Gary Conrad), Dale Jones, Landry. These guys are always going to be my main go-to


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performers. In the past I have maybe bringing in one new talent a month. This goal here is to bring in at least two new talents to Chattanooga who have never performed here a month. Then I’ll have a good mix of the tried and true people and new people. The goal is as I bring in two new people a month, maybe more that those people will come back. We’ve discovered a few this past year that we really love. It’s not really up to us to really love. It’s up to us as a club to be able to work with that person. But when we work with them and we like them, the audience loves them, we’re turning them into regulars. Case in being Thanksgiving weekend Jon Reep has been a regular since he was a feature act since he started and now he’s a really big star. We’re bringing in one of our new favorites from this past year, Jen Kobler from Baton Rouge. She’s just outstanding. People who see her on Thanksgiving will want to see her again. We’ll be turning her into a regular. There are a couple of marquee names we’re going to turn into regulars. Rob Schneider continues to play clubs and people loved him and a couple of others. We’re going to ring in two new a month and hope. I hope they turn into once a year people.

Well, I hope that success is continued here. Everything is a gamble. They say the first three rules of business are location, location, location. Sometime that location environment can change or a better location comes up. I think one of the things, we were downtown,

from. And a lot of them take off and hit the roads. Wednesday night will be the time to cultivate them.

YYoouu’’vvee hheeaarr dd rr eeaa ccttiioonn ffrr oom m ppee ooppll ee ccoom mii nngg ttoo tthhee nneew w vveennuuee.. W Whhaatt hhaavv ee yyoouu hhee aarr dd ffrroom m tthh ee ttaall eenntt

“Have you ever watched “Entourage”? I call them all Ari Gold because all they care about are their clients and getting their clients the most money possible.”

on Brainerd when Brainerd was the hot strip and now we’re on the Southside, which is really popular. That – location, location, location and product. We give people a good product. We bring in good comedians. I’m very conscientious about comedians. Even when I bring in new ones I’m a little bit nervous whether they’re going to go over well with the Chattanooga crowd because some L.A. and New York comics can be condescending or arrogant. So I never know until we get them in the first time. Location and our product - and quite frankly to pat my staff on the back - our friendly service. We really do go out of our way to be a mom and pop environment. We II nn tthhee m miiddddllee ooff NN oovveem mbbeerr yyoouu hhaa dd really are. My whole family works whhaatt yyoouu rreeffee rrrr eedd ttoo aa ss aa ss oofftt here. w ooppeenniinngg.. W Whhaatt w waa ss ppee ooppll ee’’ss ii nniittii aall rree aaccttii oonn ttoo tthh ee nneew w vv eennuuee?? OOnnee tthhii nngg II’’vvee aa llw waa yyss nnoottii cceedd aabboouutt TThhee CC oom meeddyy CC aattcchh ii ss tthh aatt ii tt hhaa ss They were really thrilled how we bbee eenn aall w waayyss w weell ccoom mii nngg ttoo ll ooccaa ll mii ccss.. YY oouu’’vv ee ss eeee nn tthh ee ll ooccaall ccoom m -took what was here at the old ccoom muu cchh ffrr oom m Station House, kept its old environ- eeddyy ssccee nnee ee vvoollvvee pprr eettttyy m ment and mixed it with our iittss ii nnffaannccyy.. ambiance and our environment. We came up with something that There was a time when we were was very stand-up comedy friendly. the only comedy stage in town. The brick wall – we didn’t even Now there are a couple of venues strip the brick wall. We left the doing open mics. We will be doing paint on it and I think most people open mic on Wednesdays where were impressed how we kept the we’ll have six to ten slots for new same vibe in an existing place and performers and struggling new peryet it still has its train station and formers. (laughs) Then we’ll have a Choo Choo feel to its. I think most closer for the show; either my people were really thrilled how we headliner for the week or a feature combined The Comedy Catch, the act that way you’re guaranteed a Station House and Choo Choo into great close to the show. Then the one fun venue. first half of the show will be for cultivating, creating new talent. Moosstt eess ttaabbllii sshh m M meennttss tthh aatt cchh aannggee They’re getting stage time on llooccaa ttii oonn oofftteenn ttiim meess aarree tthh ee kk iiss ss ooff Tuesday nights and Wednesday ddeeaatthh.. TT hhee CC oom mee ddyy CC aattcchh hh aass bbeeee nn night they’re getting stage time aabbll ee ttoo tthhrr ii vvee w whh eerr eevv eerr yyoouu ’’vvee with us, so you’re always cultivatbbeeee nn.. W W hh aatt ddoo yyoouu tthhii nnkk iiss tthh ee kk eeyy ing new talent. That’s where your emcees and feature acts come ttoo yy oouurr ss uuccccee ssss ?? ENIGMA

aaggeennttss?? Most of the agents the first question is how many seats are you going to have. They want to know how big it’s going to be – how big of a talent they can put in here. Then after that it’s - let’s put it this way: agents are sales people. They’re always trying to sell their comics to you. If I opened up any-

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where they’re just going to come after me with “we have to get this guy in here”. And that’s pretty much it. I’ve put all of them on hold for the past three months to get this project done. I really couldn’t think about whom I was going to book. I was thinking about getting open. But the first question I how many seats. How big is it going to be? A lot of agents are sharks. (Laughs) Have you ever watched “Entourage”? I call them all Ari Gold because all they care about are their clients and getting their clients the most money possible. I’m on a friendly basis with a lot of them and I tell them that very thing. (laughs) I’m talking bad about them, but that’s their job. So they’re always worried about the money first. (laughs)

YY oouu’’vvee hhaadd aa ll oott ooff bbii gg nnaam mee ss ggrraaccee yyoouurr ssttaa ggee.. IIss tthhee rree ss oom mee oonnee yyoouu w oouu lldd llii kkee ttoo bbrrii nngg ii nn tthhaa tt yyoouu w hhaavvee nn’’tt yyee tt?? There are a lot of names we would


like to bring in. What happens is – I’ll use Brian Regan as an example. We worked Brian for four years, drew medium crowds. When he did perform people loved him. We loved him. We saw potential in him. Bing, bang, boom! He does one of two Comedy Central specials. Before you know it he was blowing up theatres. The same thing happened with Jeff Dunham. We worked Jeff Dunham for ten years – him and his “friends”. I have to give him credit. He went and produced his own special, sold it to Comedy Central and before you know I now he’s doing theatres. There are so many names out there we’d love to get, it’s just they get expensive. Aziz Ansari. We tried working with him. Every time we tried to make a deal he wasn’t available. And now his price is through the roof. I would have to charge $50 to $100 a ticket. And some of them graduate from the clubs such as Brian Regan and go to the theatres and don’t want to play the clubs any more because they can make as much in one night as they do a week in a comedy club. I had Dave Attell. Dave Attell is still a good friend. We correspond. I worked Dave for the longest time. Then he got that “Insomniac” show on Comedy Central and went through the roof. Now Dave, I have to give him credit. He’s still a regular in the New York clubs. He still plays clubs, but his price has gone up. Dave is what we call a club comedian. He’ll do theatre and everything else. Some of them once they hit the theatres don’t go back to the clubs. As we say; you have too see them on the way up and you’ve got to see them on the way down. So they won’t leave the theatres and I don’t blame them. But Dave just loves the clubs. He’d probably be one I’d like to get in here. We almost had him for our grand opening but there was a conflict in dates. Maannyy ccoom M miiccss hhaavvee ggoonnee ffrr oom m tthhee ss ttaa ggee aatt TT hhee CCoom meeddyy CC aattcchh ttoo bbiigg tthhiinnggss .. TThhiiss hhaass bbee eenn aa ll aauunncchhii nngg ppaadd ffoorr llooccaall rr eeggiioonnaall aa nndd eevvee nn nnaattii oonnaa ll ttaa lleenntt aa nndd aa ll oott ooff nnaa m meess tthhaatt ppee ooppll ee hhaavvee ffoorr ggoottttee nn w whh oo ppeerr ffoorr m meedd hh eerree .. H Hoow wm maa nnyy ppeeooppllee ddoo yyoouu tthhii nnkk ggoott tthhee iirr ss ttaa rrtt hhee rree oonn tthhee ssttaaggee ooff TT hhee CC oom meeddyy CCaa ttcchh ?? As far as starting here with this being their first place to play on stage you’ve got Pat Dixon in New

York, D.J. Lewis, Corey Ryan Forrester. Dean Gaines grew up in Chattanooga. Dean’s now a regular on the cruise ships. He doesn’t play clubs very much. But Earthquake started here. He’s an

al. It was sort of a nice payback. Ralphie May has come back with some of the others. I like it when they pay tribute to where they got started.

know Chattanooga’s not going to pay that. So the quality of talent is commensurate with the ticket price. There are some big names I’ve got lined up for next year that I haven’t signed contracts on, so I can’t reveal them yet. But it’s a matter of supply and demand. If they’re out there and their working and I know I can sell the tickets at a certain price we bring them in. And I’m fairly selective. There are some acts I won’t bring in because I know even if they get a high dollar because they’re popular or famous I know they’re not going to produce a really, really good show. It is supply, demand, price and some of my taste of what I think will go over in Chattanooga and won’t fly.

NN oow w tthhaatt yy oouu’’ vvee ffiinn aall llyy ggoottttee nn moovveedd iinn aanndd ooppeenn,, w m whhaatt aa rree yyoouu ll ooookk iinngg ffoorrw w aarrdd ttoo m moosstt nnoow w??

A young Jerry Seinfeld was one of the biig names that once were masters of their own domain at The Comedy Catch.

urban act out of Atlanta. Killer Beaz when he first started was a feature act. Even Jeff Foxworthy, Tim Wilson, who passed, James Gregory; when they were first getting started, Roy Wood Jr. out of Birmingham, Rickey Smiley out of Birmingham. If they start in Atlanta, Birmingham, Nashville he first club they work is Chattanooga because I talk to the club owners. “We’ve got this guy; he’s coming up. He’ll be good. He’s killing it in my room. Give him a shot.” The same thing happens when I have guys that are doing really good. A lot of names. And then you could go to mega-stars. This is funny: I paid Jerry Seinfeld – actually I didn’t – the previous owners booked Jerry Seinfeld in late 1985 for a week for $3,000. He was just a new, young guy out of New York. Now you couldn’t get him to cross the street for $3,000. The names go on. Ron White. Ron and I worked twice a year together. He was one of our regulars. We’d play golf every time he came in, toss back a drink or two, have a cigar or two. Now Ron is in all acclaimed theatres. I give Ron credit where credit is due. On his big run making his second album, “Can’t Fix stupid” he came to the Catch on a Valentine’s Day and did shows to write new materiENIGMA

CChhaattttaannooooggaa hhaass uunnddee rrggoonnee aa rr eenn-aaiiss ssaa nnccee oovveerr hhee ppaass tt 11 55 yyeeaarr ss oorr ssoo.. DD eess ppii ttee w whh aatteevvee rr pphh aass ee – – bbootthh ggoooodd aanndd bbaadd tthhee cciittyy hhaass ggoonnee tthhrr oouugghh TThhee CCoom mee ddyy CC aattcchh hh aass aallw w aayyss m maa iinnttaaii nneedd aa hhii gghh ll eevvee ll ooff ttaa llee nntt hhii ttttii nngg tthhee ssttaaggee .. W W hhaa tt ddoo yyoouu tthhii nnkk hhaass bbeeee nn tthhee kkee yy ffoorr yyoouu ttoo kk eeee pp ssuucchh aa hhiigghh ll eevveell ooff ttaall eenntt ccoom mii nngg tthh rroouu gghh yyoouu rr ddoooorr ss?? Essentially – and this goes back to the agents: paying the price they want. Again I mention names I’d love to have here at the club, but when it gets to a point where the ticket price would be so high, I

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We’re still hanging pictures, putting the wall theme back up, so we’ve still got a few little things to do. It’s like moving into a house. We’re in but we’re not completely unpacked and ready to go. But what I really, really look forward to doing – one of the favorite things I like to do is getting the word out. I can’t wait to it the pavement here in the Southside, visit all the hotels and all the restaurants and give them some cards, give them some passes and I like getting the “buzz” out both viral and online, in person and media. I would say promote and produce the shows and try to pack this building.

- Dave Weinthal


Cowboys Back In the Saddle Again

“Luke, I am your Father!” Okay, that might be a cheesy way to open a sports story, but let’s face it, the force was definitely with the Dallas Cowboys and their Jedi Master, quarterback Tony Romo, against the Miami Dolphins as the team ended an ugly sevengame skid with a workmanlike 24-14 victory.

part. The Cowboys third win of the season put them two games behind the idle New York Giants in the race for the East Division crown. Yes, it has been that kind of a year.

Romo’s calming effect on the offense was felt immediately on their first drive of the game. On third and ten from their own 4-yard line, the Dolphin defense was about to And here’s the even crazier collapse on the Dallas QB for a ENIGMA

safety when he suddenly shifted the ball to his non-throwing left hand and completed a pass to running back Darren McFadden who rambled nine yards. Though the Cowboys had to punt the ball, from that moment on, the entire team came alive with an energy that had been missing for two months.

he adjusted to his first start in two months. There were several incomplete passes in the opening quarter that ended with the QB throwing an interception. It didn’t matter. The Dallas D was on point nearly the entire game. In fact hte Cowboys first score of the game came courtesy of linebacker Rolando McClain. He intercepted Miami quarterback There was noticeable rust on Ryan Tannehill and took the Romo’s arm the first quarter as ball 12 yards to the end zone.

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Romo finally took control and drove the team 93 yards. He overcame a 2nd and 27 by con-

for 20 yards. Another Romo interception would end that drive. Miami would tie the score later in the quarter when Tannehill connected with Kenny Stills for a 29-yard touchdown to tie the score. It was time for Romo to make a statement.

necting with receiver Terrence Williams for 17 yards then followed that up by connecting with him on a 31-yard touchdown toss to him. An excessive celebration penalty by Dez Bryant and Williams enforced on the kickoff breathed new life into Miami just before the half ended. Starting the drive on their own 41 with 55 seconds left in the half, Tannehill connected with wide out Jarvis Landry on a beautiful 47 yard pass that put the ball on the Dallas 12. With 23 seconds left, the then connected with Jordan Cameron for the score making this an interesting 14-7 game at the half.

Behind the legs of Darren McFadden, who finished the game with 129 yards on 29 carries, Dallas moved the ball down the field. The eight play 80-yard drive ended with Romo connecting with Dez Bryant for a 16-yard score. The 50th TD reception from Romo to Bryant tandem edged the duo past the previous Cowboy record holders, Hall of Famers Troy Aikman and Michael Irvin. On the next drive, kicker promising with running back Dan Bailey would seal the The third quarter started out Darren McFadden scampering

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game with a 30-yard field goal. terback said, but his words certainly had an effect and it Though the B-team was calling showed against the Dolphins. this contest for the second TTiigghh tt eenndd JJ aassoo nn Witten played consecutive week on Fox, they in his 197th consecutive game treated it as a national con- passing Mr. Cowboy, tackle test. There was NO Greg Hardy Bob Lilly’s, accomplishment. talk from the booth. They con- He also caught two passes centrated their commentary leaving him just six catches shy solely on Tony Romo before, of becoming only the 11th playduring and after the game. er in NFL history to have 1,000 Whether this contest marks receptions. TThh ee CCoo w wbboo yyss rruunn -the beginning of something nniinn gg back by committee has extraordinary for the been a total bust. So far this Cowboys, or was merely a blip season, 13 backs have graced on the radar screen, judgethe roster. However, the ment day will come on search may finally be over. Thanksgiving as the team hosts Earlier in the week the team the undefeated Carolina signed 25-year old Robert Panthers at AT&T Stadium, Turbing to a contract. The forknown locally as The Death mer Cleveland Brown running Star. May the force be with back made significant contrithem! butions to the Dallas running game, carrying the ball 7 times CCoo w wbboo yy N N ootteess – – There was for 35 yards. He had jumped nothing but positive energy ahead of backups Rod Smith coming out of the locker room and Trey Williams. A App ppaarreenntt llyy before, during and after the oonn --ff iieelldd performance wasn’t game. An emotional speech the only reason the Cowboys Tony Romo gave the team the cut running back Christine night before the contest had a Michael and cornerback Corey lot to do with it. The team was White from the roster after the tight-lipped on what the quarTampa Bay game. Those two

players were the only ones who did not wear a suit and tie on the Cowboys road trip. Coach Jason Garrett requires players to wear suits on away games. When you are on a ridiculously long losing streak, the last thing you want to do is rock the boat. Those two were

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thrown overboard. IIff TToo nn yy RR oom moo looked unusually bulky, it had to do with extra padding sewn into the T-shirt he wears under his uniform to protect his collarbone. - David Huff


Jaguars Take Another Bite Out of Tennessee’s Season

I guess losing ugly has become a way of life for the Tennessee Titans as they lost again this time in prime time Thursday against divisional foe Jacksonville.

Tennessee lost that game to the “Greatest Show on Turf” aka the St. Louis Rams. The Titans have yet to make a deep run in the playoffs since and the Jaguars have never been to a Super Bowl and haven’t Both teams seem to try to see who sniffed a .500 record in years can land the better draft pick in the upcoming NFL draft, something Well, if you’re going to lose ugly do usually won by the Jaguars except so as the Titans have all year as last season. What irony. To think they are now 2-8. “It’s frustrating 16 years ago these two teams had especially in prime time Thursday the best records in the league with night the way we lost it. I felt like the Titans edging out the Jags to go the team played good at the end by to the Super Bowl. Of course driving the ball down the field,” said Titans tight end Delanie Walker. “In the end, you can’t have sacks in crucial moments like that. I felt like we made a lot of mistakes out there. We made some penalties on both sides of the ball, mistakes that you can’t have.”

PUZZLE ANSWERS

The game was a see-saw battle that saw Jaguar coach Gus Bradley face off against Tennessee’s Mike Mularkey who he replaced in Jacksonville last season. Mularkey, of course is the interim coach of the Titans who fired Ken Whisenhunt during the bye week. ENIGMA

It was hard to tell who wanted to win or lose as the teams traded two field goals in the first half before the Jaguars took the lead – yes guess it, another field goal in the third quarter.

The Titans finally broke this trend as rookie QB Marcus Mariota engineered a five-play 81-yard drive to take the lead. The final 23 yards of that drive were courtesy of the number two overall draft pick as

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he ran for his first career touch- the faith that they have in one down to give Tennessee a 13-9 lead. another, that’s what I told them, I said speak about that,” said The lead held up briefly before Bradley. “That’s what’s great about Jaguar QB Bake Bortles found Julius this team. I’m sure there will be Thomas from five yards out with many more to come like this, in 3:34 to play to male the score 16-13. these one possession games. Fortunately we came out of the “There’s nothing more frustrating good end this time and we’ll get than kicking field goals, especially back to work.” when you’re inside the five. I think that our offense works really hard The Titans remain in the cellar of at being able to execute in the red the AFC South with the loss even area. To struggle with it was a little though they are ironically only bit frustrating but it’s always great three games out of first with six when you can go down there and games remaining. It is their fourth loss by only one possession. Four get points,” said Thomas. of the team’s eight losses came by a 14 seconds later Marcus Mariota grand combined total of 12 points. passed to Phillip Supernaw who If luck had been in their side (not was stripped of the ball giving the Andrew, although that would have Jaguars the ball back on the helped also) the Titans would have a two game lead over both Tennessee 28. Indianapolis and Houston who The Titans’ defense stiffened and both have 5-5 records. Jacksonville kicked their fourth field goal of the game to make the “It’s tough. We’ve been in a lot of close games and lost a lot of close score 19-13. ones. We have to be able to finish. But there still was time left. With This team works hard. You can feel 2:19 remaining Mariota began what the frustration, but we can’t hang everyone was hoping would be his our heads. We have a lot of games first comeback victory. They got left,” said Mariota. “Our defense is the ball on their 20 and began to playing at a really high level. They drive. Mariota completed 6-of-8 keep giving us more and more passes as he drove Tennessee deep opportunities. We just weren’t into Jacksonville territory. With able to capitalize on turnovers. We five second remaining in the game just have to do a better job of scorand the ball on the Jaguars’ 23 ing points.” Mariota was sacked as time ran out Sunday the Titans return home to again for the team. Nissan Field where they will take “In this game and last week too, so on the Oakland Raiders. Kickoff is we’re getting these one possession scheduled for 1pm and will be aired games and we’ve been in them all of CBS. year. To see us do enough to get the win is great. I think we’re see- - Dave Weinthal ing who we are. We need this spirit, we need this will, the trust and ENIGMA

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November is 0-vember For the Falcons As They Lose Fourth in A Row Thank God November is over. the Falcons defense was ranked Peterson had a field day against That’s what the Atlanta Falcons tenth overall in the league and Atlanta’s defense as they and their dwindling fan base are third against the run. That has allowed their first 100-yard rushsaying after the once mighty Birds were 6-1 going into the month. The Falcons lost their fourth straight game Sunday falling to the visiting Minnesota Vikings 20-10 in a game whose score was much closer than the game really was. Once against the once powerful Atlanta offense was pretty much shut out until just inside of two minutes to play. And the “new and improved” defense… well, what the heck happened? Coming into the game somehow all changed now.

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the Colts had the number one overall pick. Elway told them not to draft him. He said he refused to play for them and if they drafted him he would switch to baseball since the New York Yankees had drafted him as well. The Colts traded draft picks with the Broncos and that was that.

I think Elway is an overrated quarterback. Sure, he had an arm like a rifle, he didn’t know how to use it. Receivers kept dropping passes because they were throw too hard. There’s no need to put so much mustard on a throw for a five-yard slant Adrian er of the season. Peterson man- route. aged to run roughshod over Falcons for 158 yards on the Coach Dan Reeves was able to ground running for two scores. work with Elway and the The second iced it for Minnesota defense as they went to three making the score 20-3 with 4:23 Super Bowls, yet they were routto play. Ryan led a no huddle ed each time. Elway conspired series taking the ball 80 yards in with then offensive coordinator under three minutes to make the Mike Shanahan making a power score somewhat respectable as play that saw Reeves getting dishe hit Nick Williams from one missed and replaced with Wade Phillips after the 1992 season. yard out. They replaced Phillips with And something that hasn’t hap- Shanahan beginning in 1996. In pened since Kyle Shanahan took ’97 and ’98 the Broncos won over as offensive coordinator back-to-back Super Bowls. Roddy White led all receivers with six catches for 60 yards. Truth be told Shanahan won Julio Jones by comparison only those Super Bowls with Reeves’ had five receptions for 57 yards. players. After winning their second Super Bowl ironically I hate the name Shanahan. defeating the Dan Reeves Kyle’s dad was the coach of the coached Falcons 34-19 they won Denver Broncos when they won only one more playoff game two Super Bowls. I hate the before he was fired after the Broncos. The reason I hate the 2008 season. I always felt he Broncos is because of John conspired with the hated Elway Elway. I still remember plain as (my opinion) to oust Reeves. day when it came to the draft There is no love lost for the DECEMBER 2015

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this great offensive mind’s offense has averaged 15.4 point a And now his kid is Atlanta’s game since October 25. The seaoffensive coordinator. Well, son started great with the Falcons averaging the third most points a game but just like when he was the coordinator in Washington his play calling became predictable and the fact he had Robert Griffin III run so much was the cause of his injuries that saw him get bounced out as the starter there. Shanahan and his dad, who was the Redskins’ head coach got run out of town after just two seasons. Shanahan name.

People are blaming Matt Ryan for the team’s losing streak. He threw another two interceptions Sunday but I can’t blame him. I’m not calling for his head like every other talking head on sports radio. Ryan is literally running for his life and the routes called by Shanahan are predictable and easily defensed. To prove this look at Atlanta’s ENIGMA

only score Sunday. Running the no-huddle Ryan was in change of calling the plays. What did they do? Score in under three minutes – and a touchdown to boot. Ryan seems to be going through what Peyton Manning is in Denver this year with Gary Kubiak. When Manning is running his offense things run smoothly. Running Kubiak’s, Manning looks relatively incompetent. Sure, Shanahan has been able to re-establish the running game. But who cares if you don’t score. Case in point when Tevin Coleman took the pitch from Ryan Sunday and turned the corner and sprinted 46 yards. He then lost the ball and Minnesota recovered on their 21. Coleman ran for 110 yards but who cares? Coleman had a fumble last week against the Colts that thwarted a drive deep in Indianapolis territory. Unless the runs equate touchdowns it doesn’t matter. I sure do miss Dirk Koetter.

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Koetter, who is Tampa Bay’s offensive coordinator this year after three seasons in Atlanta has Jameis Winston looking good and their offense taking off. The Bucs are now only one game behind Atlanta in the standings. While a balanced offense is ideal, the two have to be able to play off of each other. Shanahan’s aren’t. And fact most throws go to Julio Jones is another problem. I like Jones as much as the next guy but with the offensive weapons the Falcons have at their disposal Jones shouldn’t get the majority of looks. That’s another reason why the offense has stalled. After a public outcry by Roddy White wanting more touches, they seem to be begrudgingly trying to appease him. White is the greatest receiver in Atlanta history and despite just turning 34 he still has better hands than Jones and doesn’t turn the ball over unlike number 11 has done



a couple of times. And despite being slowed down by injury half of last season and part of this season White is more durable than Jones who has missed chunks of three seasons for nagging injuries since being drafted in 2011. Not to knock Julio, as I enjoy watching him do his thing – and doing it impressively, the Falcons shouldn’t dismiss their franchise leader in receptions and touchdowns. I’ve seen him make too many game winning catches since he was drafted out of UAB in 2005.

showed up in the stats. Drafted as the savior of the defensive line and anemic rush, he may prove people that former coach Mike Smith wasn’t the only one to draft a defensive bust.

The Falcons will be on the road the next three weeks before returning home at the end of the calendar year. They travel to take on Tampa Bay next week and follow that with a trip to undefeated division rival Carolina the face the much improved Jacksonville Jaguars before returning home to take on the Panthers and finishing The outlook for the rest of the out the season against the season doesn’t look well for the Saints. Falcons unless they make some changes on offense and maybe November is mercifully over as I giving Ryan more leeway with call it 0-vember for the Falcons the play calling. That and the as they try to change their fordefense still needs to improve tune and hopefully get back on the pass rush. They only have 12 track and repair their dwindling sacks on the season and none playoff hopes. Sunday as they could not reach the Vikings’ Teddy Bridgewater. Kickoff for Sunday’s game Do the math – that’s just barely against the Buccaneers will be better than one a game. There 1pm and will be aired on Fox. are a number of defensive ends with as many sacks as the - Dave Weinthal Falcons as a team. And first pick Vic Beasley still hasn’t really ENIGMA

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RRU UM MOOUURR HH AASS IITT … … …The highest court in Massachusetts has thrown out defamation lawsuits filed by the founder of the rock group BB oossttoo nn against the ex-wife of the band’s late lead singer and m the “Boston Herald.” TToo m SS cchhoo llzz sued after the Herald published articles in which leader singer BBrraadd D D eellpp’’ss ex-

Miicc kk ii, made remarks wife, M that SScc hhoo llzz claimed could be construed as blaming him for DDeellpp’’ ss 2007 suicide. A judge threw out the lawsuit against Miicc kkii D M Deellpp in 2011, but the state Appeals Court reinstated it. A different judge threw out Scholz’s separate lawsuit On against the Herald. Wednesday, the Supreme Miicc kkii Judicial Court found that M DDeellpp’’ ss statements were opinions, so they couldn’t form the basis of a defamation claim.

BBoo ssttoonn was best known for its 1976 debut album and hit single “More Than a Feeling.” m HHaannkk ss has …TT oo m revealed that he is currently recording his dialogue for animated children’s film Toy Story 4. Speaking on BBC’s The Graham Norton Show about his involvement in the latest installment of the Pixar franchise, he said, “We’re now recording Toy Story 4... it will be out in 2018, so it takes a long time.” He added later, “I have a recording session on the second of December.” After the release of Toy Story Haannkk ss told a reporter 3, when H that there would be a Toy Haannkkss says he was Story 4, H contacted by Disney’s lawyers the following day, explaining his contractual obligations not to discuss the new film in case it affected Disney’s stock market price. H Haa nnkk ss said he responded, “Hey, I’m sorry, but let me just point out – I’m Woo oodd yy, pal.” W …A message was posted Sunday on SS iinneeaadd OO’’CC oonnnnoo rr’’ss verified Facebook account which stated that she had taken an overdose in a hotel in Ireland, where she had checked in under a pseudonym. “There is only so much any woman can be expected to bear”, she wrote. “What was done to me this week was appalling cruelty.”

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The post followed updates from O O ’’CC oonnnnoo rr’’ ss account addressed to “anyone in any doubt as to my fitness as a mother”. Part of her most recent post read, “When you planned to get me away from my babies did you plan for me losing my mind over it?” About an hour and a half after the post had been put up, police at Pearse Street station in Dublin confirmed that the singer had been located ‘safe and sound’ and was receiving medical assistance.

wiiss ttee dd SS iiss ttee rr …TT w D D e e e e S S n n i i d d e e r r frontman has D oonnaalldd TTrruum mpp revealed that D has been using the band’s track ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’ as a campaign rally closer with the permission of the band. The two have a history, with TTrruu m mpp having fired SS nniiddeerr on American reality show Celebrity Apprentice back in 2013. Talking to Canadian Business, SS nniiddee rr mpp] called and said: “He [TT rruum he asked, which I appreciated. I said, ‘Look, we don’t see eye to eye on everything — there are definitely issues that we’re far apart on.’ But thinking back to when I wrote the song and what the song is about, it’s about rebellion, speaking your mind and fighting the system. If anybody’s doing


that, he sure is.” Snider continued: “TT rruum mpp and BB eerr nniiee SS aanndd eerrss are the two extremes. They’re raising holy hell and shaking everything up. That’s what ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’ is about. And we’re friends. Doonnaalldd I have spent time with D and his family. I don’t think either of us expected that we would like each other, but you D oonnaalldd TTrruu m mpp is a pretknow, D ty chill guy.” …Rumours that G Guu nnss NN’’ RRoo sseess will reunite in 2016 have increased after the band began selling new merchandise that features the group’s original line-up. As of today, Guu nnss N N ’’ RRoo sseess’’ fans can visit G website and buy gifts such as blankets and a hockey jersey emblazoned with the band’s Appetite For Destruction

album cover. Also available is a cross with cartoon versions of the five original band members as skeletons. Alternative Nation points out that SS llaasshh Axxll RRoo ssee have previously and A feuded over the trademarks of the band’s old logos in the past, suggesting that the pair have come to an agreement of some sort to sell the new merchandise. Though nothing has been announced by the band, Guns N’ Roses have already been named as favorites to headline Reading And Leeds festivals next year by one bookmaker. Rumours have circulated online that the band’s classic line-up are set to reunite shortly, with SS llaasshh recently burying the hatchet Axxll RRoo ssee after with frontman A nearly 20 years of bad blood between the pair. He recently

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declined to comment on the possibility of a reunion, having always ruled it out in the past. Bookmakers Betfair listGuu nnss N N ’’ ed odds of 6/5 for G RRoo sseess headlining the twin festivals in 2016, with a press representative citing the fact that they have headlined the Axxll’’ss newfestival in the past (A Guunnss N N’’ RRoossee ss last headlook G lined in 2010). …N N ooeell GG aallllaagghheerr has dismissed the current resurgence in vinyl’s popularity, suggesting that the revival will come to an end by 2020. In January, vinyl sales in the UK topped 1.3 million for the first time since 1995, while GGaall llaagghhee rr’’ss recent album Chasing Yesterday has been named the best-selling vinyl album of 2015 so far. Speaking to Q recently, G G aallllaagg hheerr said of the feat: “Yeah I know, unbelievable isn’t it? For the people who still want to buy and own music, for me to be sat at the top of that list really is great. Until you look at how many people are actually buying it and it’s like a thousand albums! F**king hell, I’ve probably got more than a thousand sat in my office right now. But it’s the streaming thing, there will be no record sales by the end of the decade, I think.” The former OOaassiiss man also admitted that he downloads music rather than buying albums from a record shop: “Well, where do you buy records these days? I can’t go to HMV. How long do you think it would take me to get out of HMV if I went in? If I go into a record store they usually turn into autograph sessions so I avoid them now.

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1. Jason Isbell 2. Chris Cornell 3. Widespread Panic 4. Ben Folds 5. Harry Connick Jr. 6. The Decemberists 7. Collective Soul 8. Trey Anastasio 9. Billy Gibbons and the BFG’s 10. Cage The Elephant 11. Blitzen Trapper 12. Willamena 13. Hippo Campus 14. Josh Ritter 15. Weezer 16. David Gilmour 17. Lettuce 18. Coldplay 19. Halsey 20. Adele

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I think that’s the way music is Wars fans on Twitter, and going now though, for me any- remains defiant. “I regret way, I’m more into tracks.” nothing,” she insisted. …A Fox News contributor has revealed that she has received death threats after making jokes about Star Wars. While appearing as a pundit on a satirical review show on Fox News last month, KKaatthh eerriinnee TTiim mppff made fun of the iconic sci-fi franchise by saying: “I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now.” During her TV appearance, Timpf also told viewers that “people threatened my life” after she posted a tweet in which “all I said was that I wasn’t familiar with Star Wars because I’ve been too busy liking cool things and being attractive”. After a group of hardcore Star Wars fans picked up on her comments, Timpf was inundated with a new wave of death threats and other abusive messages, and shared some of them on Twitter. Timpf has also written an article about the furor for the National Review. “Obviously, the totally insane whackjobs who have been attacking me don’t represent most Star Wars fans,” she writes. “But the fact that so many adults have responded with so much unhinged emotion astounds me.” Later in the article, she concludes: “If you are telling me that I should die and/or apologise for making a joke about a movie you like, then you are too sensitive. You have the problem, not me.” TT iim mpp ff continues to reply to enraged Star

…A British footballer has attributed his recent scoring run to JJ uuss ttiinn BB iieebb eerr’’ ss music. RRyyaa nn LL eeoo nnaarrdd , 23, plays for Southend United in League One and has scored three goals in the past four games. Speaking to the local Echo News, LLeeoo nnaarrdd said that his team’s pre-match ritual of listening to BBiiee bbee rr has inspired his recent form. “Since we started playing JJuu sstt iinn BB iieebb eerr , I’ve starting scoring again,” he is quoted as saying, adding that fellow teammates are also fans of the star. “We pretty much live together and we’re addicted to JJuu ssttiinn BB iieebbeerr’’ ss new song [‘Sorry’]”. …Chattanooga restaurant Noodles shut their doors earlier in November after having an unremarkable run of a little over two years downtown. Complaining lack of foot traffic as one of the main reasons for failure it could be its fast food décor and layout, lack of personality and perhaps the lack of marketing that spelled doom for the establishment. Wonder what will happened to the overPhotoshopped pictures of local landmarks that graced the wall? If you know any truths, halftruths or outright lies about the music and club scene send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.co m.

- Sissy Vance ENIGMA

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11 9966 11:: Blues growler Howlin’ Wolf arrives in London as part of a lineup of American blues musicians who take Britain, and later, the continent by storm...a series of annual American Folk Blues Festivals follow leading to a generation of Brits such as Clapton, Page, Watts, and Richards becoming blues devotees who during the mid-‘60s introduce white America to its own roots-music heritage… 11 99 6644:: Willie Nelson makes his Grand Ole Opry debut…this same week, cashing in on the deaththemed song fad, The Shangri-Las, a quartet of Queens teens with tough-girl attitude and big hair see their single “Leader of the Pack” rise to the top of the pop chart… 11 9966 55:: High-end London department store Harrods is closed to the public while The Beatles do a spot of holiday shopping…

with Baker beefing that Bruce played too loudly…

1199 7766 :: The Band bids adieu to its fans at San Francisco’s Winterland with a star-studded show that includes their former bosses Ronnie Hawkins and Bob Dylan as well as Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Van Morrison, Muddy Waters, The Staple Singers, Dr. John, Eric Clapton and many more...Martin Scorsese is on hand to film the proceedings resulting in the movie The Last Waltz, widely regarded as among the best rock movies ever...in 2002 it’s reissued as a DVD with remixed 5.1 sound and lots of additional performances...one of the extras is an extended jam with Morrison, Clapton, Wood, et al, during which the motors in Scorsese’s cinema cameras finally melted down as they were not designed for continuous shooting...the final part of the jam is an audio-only affair…

1199 6699 :: John Lennon returns his MBE medal to Queen Elizabeth in protest of British foreign policy, especially its support for the war in Vietnam…also this week, AT&T backs out as a sponsor of Simon and Garfunkel’s TV special when it learns the duo plans to air clips of Robert Kennedy’s funeral and 1199 77 88 :: Rick Allen becomes Def Vietnam War footage… Leppard’s drummer…he’s 15 years 1199 7700:: Free jazz saxophonist Albert Ayler is found dead in New York’s East River...rumors circulate that he was murdered though the consensus seems to point to a suicide…George Harrison’s triple LP All Things Must Pass is released…it will be certified 6X platinum making it the biggest seller by a solo Beatle to that point… this same week Bob Dylan releases his LP, New Morning, which includes the song “If Not for You” covered by Harrison on his album…it will also be the title track on Olivia Newton John’s 1971 debut album…

11 9966 66:: The Temptations’ beseeching’ “(I Know) I’m Losing You” enters the R&B chart and swiftly rises to the top slot...the song will chart three more times with covers by 1199 7711 :: Following the death of Doors Rare Earth, Rod Stewart and lead singer Jim Morrison, the surviving members tell Rolling Stone Uptown Girls… that the band will continue...it offi11 99 6688 :: The supergroup Cream, cially disbands two years later… plagued by animosity between drummer Ginger Baker and bassist 1199 7744:: Introspective British singerJack Bruce, plays two farewell con- songwriter Nick Drake overdoses certs at London’s Royal Albert on anti-depressants…his reputaHall…recalling the shows, Baker tion will slowly grow…in 2000 a says, “It wasn’t a good gig...Cream Volkswagen ad featuring the title was better than that...We knew it song from his Pink Moon LP results was all over. We knew we were in Drake posthumously selling just finishing it off, getting it over more records within a month than with.”…the band will regroup he had in the preceding three briefly in 2005 for reunion shows decades… in New York, but bad blood lingers ENIGMA

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old… 11 99 88 11:: A Grateful Dead/Allman Brothers show at the Tangerine Bowl in Orlando, Florida is canceled when only 10,000 of 60,000 seats are sold...apparently turkeys are a bigger draw that day… 11 9988 22:: Michael Jackson’s Thriller is released…an enticing brew of R&B, pop, rock and funk that effortlessly crosses racial and musical lines, it’ll go on to move more than 65 million copies setting a worldwide sales record never equaled before or since…seven singles from the album are released, every one scoring as a Top Ten pop chart hit… 11 99 88 55:: Pre-bad Bobby Brown announces he is leaving New Edition to begin a solo career… 11 99 88 88:: A cassette copy of Pink Floyd’s LP, Delicate Sound of


Thunder, is sent into orbit aboard male dancers strip off their scout Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 7 making uniforms… the band the first to be played in 22000000:: When music mag NME asks space… leading rockers to name their 11 9999 11:: Displeased when he’s asked to biggest influence, David Bowie perform “Smells Like Teen Spirit” edges out The Beatles and using a pre-recorded backing track Radiohead… on the BBC’s Top of the Pops, Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain 22000011 :: Beatles fans all over the retaliates by singing an octave world mourn the loss of George lower in a weird takeoff on The Harrison to lung cancer… Smiths’ vocalist, Morrissey…also this week, rock loses two of its 22000033 :: Former convict James Carter more flamboyant personalities on dies…in 1959 he was recorded at the same day when Queen front- Mississippi State Penitentiary by man Freddie Mercury succumbs to ethnomusicologist Alan Lomax AIDS and Kiss drummer Eric Carr singing “Po Lazarus,” a work song dies of a rare form of cancer that about a man hunted down and shot afflicted his heart…Mercury has by a 44-toting sheriff…in 2001 the publicly acknowledged he was HIV- song is included in the soundtrack positive just a day before his for the film O Brother Where Art Thou?…following an exhaustive death… search by record producer T-Bone 11 9999 66:: In tribute to Freddie Mercury, Burnett, Carter is located in 2002 a 10-foot statue overlooking Lake living in Chicago and presented Geneva is unveiled in Montreux, with a check for $20,000 and a Switzerland… platinum album…he is later flown to the Grammy Awards in Los 11 9999 77:: Garth Brooks’ much-delayed Angeles where he is feted and the seventh album, Sevens, is finally album wins five awards…a happy released...it sets a record the next coda to a troubled life… day by placing 12 of its 14 tracks in the Hot Country 100 Singles and 22000044:: Craig Nicholls, vocalist with Tracks chart, eclipsing the former The Vines is diagnosed with record of eight tracks, also set by Asperger’s Syndrome...the singer Brooks with his album Fresh had been notorious for his bizarre Horses… behavior...also this week, a group of former British school kids who 11 9999 88:: Craig Marks, an editor for sang on Pink Floyd’s 1979 classic Spin magazine, tells police that he “Another Brick In The Wall” file a was roughed up by Marilyn claim for unpaid royalties…their Manson’s bodyguards at the vocals became an anthem for Hammerstein Ballroom in New school kids everywhere with the York...Marks says he was initially chorus “We don’t need no educainvited backstage to talk to Manson tion”…apparently it doesn’t take but things turned sinister when, no education to spot a potential according to Marks, the shock payday either… rocker warned him, “You know I can kill you, your family and every- 22000055:: Multimillionaire David Brooks rents New York’s Rainbow one you know”… Rooms to celebrate daughter 11 99 9999 :: Influential indie rockers Elizabeth’s bat mitzvah…a lineup of Pavement reach the end of the her favorite artists is on hand road when leader Steve Malkmus including 50 Cent, Tom Petty, announces the band’s demise dur- Aerosmith, Don Henley, Joe Walsh ing a gig at London’s Brixton acad- and Stevie Nicks…50 Cent, who emy…across town at the Royal earns $500,000 for his bit, salutes Albert Hall, Elton John catches flak the girl with impromptu lyrics: “Go from the Boy Scouts after he per- shorty, it’s your bat mitzvah, we forms the song “It’s a Sin” while six gonna party like it’s your bat mitzENIGMA

vah”…the shindig is estimated to calling it a “venomous attack” on the country…the LP’s title track have cost daddy $10 million… hasn’t been released in China 22000066:: The Eagles of Death Metal because it refers to the banned are summarily fired onstage by Axl Falun Gong spiritual group…this Rose after playing the first of 15 same week Atlantic Records planned opening sets on Guns N’ became the first major label to Roses’ North American tour...fol- report its digital sales had outsold lowing the Eagles’ set, Rose asks physical CDs… the crowd, “How’d you like the Pigeons of Sh*t Metal? Don’t worry, 22001100:: An Amherst, Massachusetts that’s the last show they’re playing restaurant falls victim to a nasty with us.”...responding to the firing, prank when someone wearing a Eagles leader Jesse Hughes reflects, fake backstage pass and claiming “When [Axl] goes off his meds, to be with Bob Dylan’s entourage [he’s] not Paxil Rose anymore.”... orders 178 pizzas…Antonio’s is left holding the pies when nobody 22000077 :: Wildfires in Malibu torch shows up to claim them… Flea’s $4.8 million mansion...the Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist had 22001122:: Following a 2011 announcerented out the home to producer ment that he is suffering from Butch Walker who lost everything Alzheimer’s, Glen Campbell mounts including a collection of vintage a Goodbye Tour with three of his studio gear...Axl Rose’s home is kids in the backing band…his last spared when the GNR frontman show is performed in Napa, mans a hose to wet down his roof… California on November 30…the 2014 film, Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me, 22000088:: The Chinese communist party in part documenting the tour, will takes a dim view of the New Guns break hearts and earn critical N’ Roses LP, Chinese Democracy, kudos…

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Merry Christmas from Robert and Andy


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