Enigma April 3, 2020

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TITUS (AGAIN)

OH MY MY

Employing what he's labeled 'hard funny,' Christopher Titus, star and creator of the Fox show, "Titus," has released eight ninety-minute albums in as many years. Known for leaving no stone unturned, especially within his own life and family, Titus takes his audience on a 90minute ride that will leave them exhausted from laughter. To see one of Christopher Titus' shows, is to love him. Christopher Titus has been rescheduled to August 13 from its original date of March 29.

Houston-based alternative rock band Blue October, who recently released the single “Oh My My” on February 28 has had the March 18 show at Walker Theatre rescheduled for August 7. Their big breakout was the album, Foiled in 2007 that yielded the huge hits “Hate Me” and “Into the Ocean”. Their newest album is This Is What I Live For. If you had a ticket for the show hold on to it as it is vaild for the new date.

50 YEARS & GOING STRONG

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 50 years since Bruce Cockburn released his first album. The Canadian singer/songwriter hasn’t looked back and continues to crank out great songs. So good in fact, that many others have covered his songs yvcluding Jimmy Buffett, Judy Collins, Donavon Frankenreiter and Barenaked Ladies just to name a few. We will be performing at Songbirds Noth stage May 16. ENIGMA

IT’S NOT THEM, IT’S YOU

Arising from the jam band scene of the late ‘90s Umphrey’s McGee has cultivated a massive following since their debut in 1998. Blending progressive rock with jazz fusion and funk. With 12 studio releases and 16 live albums the band is very busy. They are coming to Chattanooga for a show on August 8 at The Signal.

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ccoo nnsseeqq uu eenncc eess.. M Maa yybbee yyoo uu nneeeedd tt oo ttaakkee aa ggoo oodd ,, hh aarrdd lloooo kk aatt yyoo uurrsseellff iinn tthh ee m miirrrroorr aanndd tthheenn ppuu tt yyoouu rr hheeaadd tt hhrroo uugg hh aa waallll.. IIff iitt dd ooeessnn’’tt kkiillll yyoo uu tt hheenn w maayybbee yyoouu ccaann kknnoocc kk ss oom m mee sseennssee iinntt oo yyoo uurrsseellff .. YYoo uu hhaavvee aa jjoobb aanndd II’’m m gg uueess ssiinngg aa ffaam mii-llyy.. AAss lloo nngg aass yyoouu aarreenn’’tt ssuuff -ffeerriinngg ff rroom m aa tteerrm miinnaall iillllnneessss yyoo uu nneeeedd tt oo ssuucckk iitt uupp bbuu ttttee rr-ccuupp aanndd m moovvee oo nn..

Dear Rocco, I have a couple of rescue cats I keep at the house. I love my cats and they bring joy to my life. My friends started calling me the crazy cat lady because of all my cats and a couple of trinkets with cats on them. Am I crazy for being a “cat lady” like my friends call me? JN

DDeeaarr JJ NN,, NNoo yyoo uu’’ rree nnoo tt ccrraazzyy.. YYoo uurr ffrriieennddss aarree.. AAllll lliivveess aarree pprree-cc iioo uuss ((eexxcceepp tt cc oocc kkrroo aacchh eess iiff yyoouu aasskk m mee)).. TThhee ffaacctt aa pp eett iiss oo nnllyy w wiitthh yyoouu ffoorr aa ppaarrtt ooff yyoouu rr lliiff ee uu nnlliikkee m moo sstt ppeett ss aarree wiitthh yyoo uu tt hheeiirr eenntt iirree lliiffee yyoo uurr w maakkiinngg tthh eem m m pp aarrtt ooff yyoo uurr ffaam m-iillyy iiss vveerryy iim mppoo rrttaanntt tt oo tt hheem m.. Whhiillee tthh eeyy ddoo nn’’ tt ccoo m W mm muunniicc aattee tthh ee w waayy yyoouu oo rr II ddoo ,, tthheeyy hh aavvee eeyyee ss tthh aatt ss eeee eevveerr yytthh iinngg aarroouu nndd tt hheem m.. A Anndd bbeecc aauussee tthh eeyy ccaann’’tt cc oom mm muunniiccaattee ttoo uuss tthh ee w waayy yyoo uu aanndd II dd oo aam moo nngg sstt oo uurrsseellvveess tt hheeyy bb uuiilldd aa sstt rroonnggeerr bboo nndd w wiitthh uuss oovveerr ttiim mee tthh aann eevveenn oo uurr cc hhiillddrreenn oo rr eexxtt eenndd eedd ffaam miillyy.. SSuu rree tthhee yy w waanntt ttoo bbee ffeedd aanndd pp eetttteedd ,, bbuutt aa ccaatt oorr ddoo gg oorr aannyy ootthh eerr hhoo uusseehh oolldd ppeett ddoo eessnn’’tt cc aarree aabboo uutt yyoo uurr ssoo cciiaall ssttaatt uuss,, yyoouu rr rraaccee,, rreellii-gg iioo nn oo rr aannyytthhiinngg eellssee tthhaatt cc aann

Dear Rocco, My friend is addicted to painkillers. What can I do to ddiivviiddee uuss hh uum maannss.. TThh eeyy lloovvee help? uuss ffoo rr uuss -- aass lloonngg aass w wee lloovvee RJ tthhee m m aanndd dd oonn’’tt tt rryy tt oo hhaarrm m tthhee m m.. IIff yyoo uu ccaann aaff ffoo rrdd oonnee oorr DDeeaarr RRJJ ,, moorree cc aattss oo rr ddoo ggss oo rr w m whh aatteevv-- N Noott hhiinngg.. IIff tthh eeyy aarree iinn tthh aatt eerr,, II ssaayy ggoo ffoo rr iitt .. A Ass lloonngg aass m muu cchh pp aaiinn tthh eeyy nneeeedd ttoo ddiiee yyoouu cc aann aaffff oorrdd tt hheeiirr uupp kkeeeepp aass bbeecc aauussee tthheerree aarree ee nnoo uugg hh ppeeoo -weellll aass yyoo uurr oo w w wnn w whh oo cc aarreess ppllee oonn tthhiiss ppllaanneett m maakkiinngg aa whhaatt eevveerryyoo nnee eellssee tthh iinnkkss.. IIff bbeetttt eerr ccoo nntt rriibbuutt iioonn ttoo tt hhiiss bbaallll w yyoouu cc aann’’tt aaff ffoorrdd tt oo ppuu tt ffoooo dd oonn ooff ssuuffff eerriinngg cc aalllleedd ee aarr tthh tthhaann yyoouurr tt aabbllee w whh yy tt hhee hheellll aarree yyoo uurr ppiillll--ppoo pppp iinngg ff rriieenndd .. II yyoouu ttaakkiinngg iinn aa pp eett tthhaatt iiss ddeepp eenndd iinngg oo nn yyoouu ttoo ddoo tt hhee ssaam mee tthhiinngg ?? JJ uusstt ddoo nn’’tt bbee aann iiddiioott aanndd eevveerryytthh iinngg w wiillll bb ee aallll rriigghhtt .. Dear Rocco, Why am I always mad? I am always in a bad mood and tend to take it out on people I work around. Fortunately for me I am too valuable for my company to fire me. Why do you think I’m so mad all the time? DS

DDeeaarr DDSS ,, BB eecc aauuss ee yyoo uu aa rree aann iidd iioo tt.. TThhee rree iiss ssoo m meetthhiinngg iinn yyoo uurr lliiffee tthh aatt yyoo uu aarr ee ffeeee lliinngg sshh oorrtt -cchh aanngg eedd aabboo uutt aanndd yyoouu aarree pprr oobb aabb llyy ff eeee lliinngg iinnsseecc uu rree aabboo uutt yyoo uurrsseellff aanndd yyoo uurr w weellll-bbeeiinngg.. W Wiisshh II ccoo uulldd gg oo ppoo ssttaall wiitthh oouu tt w w woo rrrryyiinngg aabb oouu tt tt hhee ENIGMA

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hh aavvee aabbssoo lluutteellyy nnoo ssyym mppaatthh yy ff oorr ddrruu nnkkss oo rr dd rruugg ggiieess.. IIff yyoouu rr lliiffee iiss ssoo bb aadd tthhaatt yyoouu hh aavvee ttoo bb ee dd rruunnkk oorr ffuullll ooff ppiillllss ddoo uu ss aall aa ffaavvoorr aanndd kk iillll yyoouu rrsseellff.. JJ uusstt dd oonn’’tt hh aarrm m aannyyoonnee eellssee iinn tt hhee pp rroo cc eessss.. Dear Rocco, How may licks does it take to get to the center of a TootsiePop? OH

DD eeaarr OOHH,, TT hhrreeee.. NNeexxtt qquuee ssttiioonn… … Rocco is a common sense, tellit-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at goaskrocco@yahoo.com or


ARIES March 21 - April 20 You will be in the doghouse if you are being. Someone may be trying to take advantage of you. It’s a good time for long awaited relationships to begin. You can meet potential new mates if you socialize with friends. Your lucky day this week will be Monday.

CAPRICORN December 21 - January 19 Be honest with yourself before getting involved with someone who is likely to lead you on. Get busy trying to make more money. Try to mix Your lucky day this week will be business with pleasure while traveling. Be extra careful with your valuWednesday. ables; loss and theft are evident this week. VIRGO August 23 - September 22 Don’t overreact to someone’s Your lucky day this week will be advances. You can’t do everything Thursday. on your own. Opportunities to go out with clients or colleagues will be AQUARIUS in your best interest. Make love, not January 20 - February 18 Don’t be afraid to lay your cards on war, and all will be fine. the table. There’s a good chance that Your lucky day this week will be they won’t come back. Your nerves are frazzled. Concentrate on work or Tuesday. or relatives. You can meet interesting new friends if you join worthwhile groups. You will find that friends or relatives may not understand your needs.

TAURUS April 21 - May 20 Your sensitive nature will allow others to read you well. You may want to get involved in financial investments presented to you. Avoid being overly opinionated or you will alienate friends. Problems with your mate will develop if you don’t let LIBRA September 23 - October 22 them have their way. Try not to let relatives or friends Your lucky day this week will be cause any friction with your mate. If they’re really interested, they’ll wait. Sunday. You can win if you’re open and up front with your boss. You have to GEMINI take hold of your life and make May 21 - June 21 Observations will be far more pro- some crucial decisions. ductive. This will not be the day to lend money to friends or family. Be Your lucky day this week will be quiet about your intentions or ideas Friday. that might bring added cash. Be aware that joint financial ventures SCORPIO October 23 - November 21 could fall apart. Focus your efforts on details, and Your lucky day this week will be keep to yourself in order to finish your work. You may win favors if Thursday. you present your ideas and include your family. Do not trust others with CANCER important information. You will be June 22 - July 22 You need to do something energetic emotional about family matters. and different. You need to make changes that will raise your self Your lucky day this week will be esteem, such as a new hairstyle or a Saturday. new image. The battle continues. It’s a favorable time for real estate, SAGITTARIUS investments, and moneymaking November 22 - December 20 You’re in the mood to get out and opportunities to be successful. visit friends. If your lover tries to Your lucky day this week will be curtail your freedom, it may lead to conflict. Try to get others to stand Friday. behind your good judgment. Your need to get away could lead you into LEO greater debt. July 23 -August 22 You could make extra cash through creative hobbies. Romantic opportu- Your lucky day this week will be nities will develop through friends Sunday. ENIGMA

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make changes to yourself. Your lucky day this week will be Wednesday. PISCES February 19 - March 20 Listen and formulate your course of action. You will be indecisive. If they’re too demanding, reconsider this union. Disappointments regarding partners will be subject to the way you react to their personal comments. Rest and relaxation may be required; minor health problems will prevail if you don’t watch your diet. Your lucky day this week will be Friday.


Amazing Similarities Between the Coronavirus Covid-19 and the Spanish Flu The coronavirus pandemic they thought he was born mother and all the other noticed the baby moving in has well and truly got our dead, so the overtaxed med- thousands of patients they the shoebox and my Dad’s life was saved, which is attention right now, why I am able to be here and one word that writing this article. keeps popping up is “unprecedented,” But there’s more. In that meaning that it’s flu pandemic, people uncharted territory to were told to stay at all concerned, which home, just like today. is true. They were told to stay away from other people, However, my Dad was like today. There were born in exactly the worldwide lockdowns, same circumstances, where no one was during the great allowed to go out into Spanish flu pandemic that raged from 1918 to 1920. ical staff put him in a shoe- had. Some time later a nurse the streets, and some were He was called a “flu baby” box and put it to one side and was born premature, and while they tended to the

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Founder: D.A. Weinthal Like us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter @EnigmaMag www.enigmaonline.com ENIGMA

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shot for doing so. Meetings, work, churches, synagogues, mosques, sports - all were closed down. Those were the days before antibiotics had been discovered, and many of the health aids we have today were unavailable, so over 50 million people died worldwide, mostly from secondary causes which could have been treated by modern medicine. I remember my parents, who were born in Durban, South Africa, often talking about it and how terrible it was. But it passed. And this one will too. But it is imperative that we stay away from each other, and stay at home, and wash our hands and faces and practice very strict

hygiene. Cities in the 1918 pandemic that did this for six weeks or more were the ones that fared the best, and had very few deaths. This is the key: if the virus can’t spread,

In 1920, once the virus had died out, the world continued. It was rough for a while economically, but people managed. So don’t lose hope, the sun will come out again.

ing of others, it will shorten the time that we all have to suffer. Learning from the 1918 pandemic, it is obvious that we must be in no hurry to come out of lockdown. Some cities did that when the infection rate dropped, and they had a resurgence of cases, so we must stay in lockdown until this enemy is dead.

So enjoy the spring - it is a sign of the hope that is budding, that this tragic worldwide scourge will soon be but a memory, and we will once again picnic in the sunshine with our family and it dies within days. It can Times are hard now, but they friends, and enjoy our world. only live by finding a new won’t last forever, and if we host. Deny it that option, and do it right and play our part, - Duncan Kelly it will die. being responsible and think-

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Panicked hoarders who rushed into Costco to buy years-worth of toilet paper are finding themselves out of luck when it comes to the big-box store’s typically generous return policy. Those who have regrets after realizing that COVID-19 isn’t a ‘pooping disease’ were met with signs at various Costco locations informing them that they won’t be able to return all that toilet paper, paper towels, sanitizing wipes,

water, rice and lysol they bought in anticipation of a societal collapse. Meanwhile, Costco itself may have over-bought in anticipation of sustained demand with aisles and aisles full of paper goods just sitting on the shelves. Something far more unusual than shortages happened in the toilet paper aisle of a Missouri Walmart store — a customer gave birth. Jessica Hinkle, store manager at the Walmart store in Spingfield, said the woman’s

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water broke in the toilet paper aisle of the store and the expectant mother warned employees her last child had been born after only 30 minutes of labor. Another customer who works as a labor nurse sprang into action and donned gloves she was carrying in her pocket while Hinkle and other workers alerted authorities and blocked off the aisle to give the woman some privacy. Springfield firefighters arrived in time to assist the nurse with the delivery and the mother and child were taken to

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a local hospital after the birth. Hinkle said customers clapped and cheered for the woman as she was being taken out of the store on a gurney. 32-year-old Elisha Nochomovitz decided to get creative in his attempts to keep fit during the coronavirus lockdown in France. Nochomovitz, who lives in the city of Toulouse, had signed up


to run the Barcelona marathon on March 15, however the event was cancelled. Not wanting to waste his training, Nochomovitz ran the race anyway, just at home instead, completing the whole 26.2 mile race by running up and down his balcony. “I had the opportunity to go out to run around outside the house, but the instructions were to stay home, that’s what I did. Just to show you that we have no excuses.” It took him just under 7 hours to run the distance back and forth on his 23-foot-wide balcony. His girlfriend fed him M&Ms to keep going.

will begin offering drivethrough strip shows for those who want to indulge in some adult entertainment, but do not want to enter the building. “We’re going to offer drive-up window strip shows,” said Ryan Carlson, director of operations for Little Darlings. “Guests can drive up to the front door and we’re going to have dancers separate by the 6-foot separation rule and they can enjoy a totally nude show right from the seat of their car.” The 10 minute drive-up shows will run a patron $100. Tips are encouraged. “On Saturday we’re doing nude triple-X hand sanitizer wrestling,” Carlson said. “We have about 20 gallons of hand sanitizer, and we’re doing a nude hand sanitizer wrestling show.”

One Las Vegas strip club is staying open amid a 30-day shutdown recommended by Gov. Steve Sisolak and taking social distancing to another level by offering drive-through strip shows. Little Darlings strip club A mom in the U.K. is going viral after a photo of her bathtub

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sparked a widespread debate online. Ed Cumming, a TV critic for the Independent newspaper, shared the image to his Twitter account. “My friend bought 18 loo rolls and her kids put them all in the bath.” Cumming’s image shows the woman’s bathtub filled with soggy toilet paper, plus plenty of water and children’s toys. It seems to imply that the children tossed all 18 rolls into the tub, ruining them completely. The situation drew plenty of reactions online. “Serves her right for hoarding, doesn’t it?” one wrote. Others were quick to defend the mom, writing that 18 rolls wasn’t that much for an entire family. “Kids gotta love them,” another commented. Megan Hess, 43, and her mother Shirley Koch, 66, were indicted on charges of obtaining and selling body parts, including

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legs, heads, and a spine from their funeral home in Montrose, Colorado, according to The Denver Post. U.S. Attorney Jason Dunn said Hess and Koch allegedly sold body parts and gave the incomplete cremated remains to surviving family members from 2010 to 2018. Their scheme brought in hundreds of thousands of dollars. Police said Hess and Koch allegedly offered families their cremation services and charged $1,000 or more, but the cremations often never occurred. Hess allegedly gave one family concrete instead of cremated remains. Some of the body parts had infectious diseases, and some were mailed across the world. Hess and Koch were charged with with mail fraud and illegal transportation of hazardous materials. But the question remains; who buys a head?


It’s No Time For Panic, But When Will People LEARN to Listen? Playing - on - the - words, of Robert Frost, but, perhaps, even more accurately, If you can keep your head, when those around you, are losing theirs, you probably don’t fully understand, what’s going on! However, while it serves little purpose, to bury - your head - in - the - sand, nor does wearing, rose - colored glasses, the best approach, probably, is, to proceed, in a well - considered manner, gather all relevant information, and, for our public officials, to earn the trust of constituents, so, when, there is urgent news, and/ or, a potential crisis, our citizens, are ready, willing, and able, to LEARN to listen, and choose wisely. With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, using the mnemonic approach, what this means, and why it’s important.

message, for the greater good! address concerns, in a publicly, beneficial manner! 2. Energy/ energize; empathy; Articulate; attention; emphasis; excellence; explain; 3. endure; enrich: Public officials actions: Unfortunately, many must focus on the needs, goals, politicians, merely, make popand priorities, of those they ulist statements, predominantserve and represent, and not, ly based on a personal/ politi-

1. Listen; lessons; leadership: Many often wonder, why so many Americans, don’t effectively listen, in order to learn, the best way, to proceed, effectively, and in a meaningful way! We need to learn the lessons, from past experiences, so, we can demand, leaders, who are ready - for prime - time, and commit to effective leadership. This must mean, we are served by officials, who, prepare, prioritize, plan, and articulate a compelling, inspiring, motivating

4. Relevant; reliable; respon-

sive; responsible: Instead of playing politics, as - usual, when things are challenging, such as during this pandemic, they fail to provide relevant leadership. Instead of the same - old, same - old, we need reliable leaders, who are responsive (in a timely manner), and truly, responsible! 5. Nervous; needs: It’s normal for citizens, to be nervous, during this recent crisis, but, panic has no benefits! We are best served by people, who address our needs, and are ready, willing, and able, to make the tough - choices!

their personal/ political agenda, and/ or, self - interest! When one possesses a significant amount of personal energy, which he uses, in a positive way, to energize his constituents, in a relevant, sustainable manner! How can anyone, earn the trust of his constituents, unless/ until, he proceeds with the utmost degree of genuine empathy. consistently? When one’s emphasis, is on bringing about, excellence, instead of merely, good - enough, everyone benefits! We need to elect people, who maintain their endurance, to fight - on, even, when there are obstacles, thrust in one’s path! When a public leader seeks to enrich, his constituents, he is ready, willing, and able, to fully explain, and ENIGMA

cal agenda, and self - interest, rather than articulating a message, based on paying keen attention, and inspiring others, for the common good, with a positive, call - to actions!

Instead of resorting to panic, we need to elect people, who will teach us, how to LEARN to effectively listen, and take relevant actions! Wake up, America, before it’s too late!

- Richard Brody

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Five Fascinating Food Facts That Are Weird Now, these food facts just might keep you amused, especially for those of you on holiday. Besides you may find one or two so fascinating that you’ll trot them out next time you’re out for dinner, (although I’m not sure if your guests will approve of a couple of them.)

in fact, that pure oil has a peppery taste and so the manufacturers would rather sell you oil that is smooth without the pepper - therefore it needs to be processed more. Sometimes the oil will include Lampante Virgin Olive Oil which is, in fact, the lowest grade of virgin olive oil and really not fit for human

consumption. In fact, it was originally used as lamp oil but apparently, it takes that peppery taste away. If you really want the ‘good stuff’ then you need to do your homework - as for me, I’d rather not use oil at all it’s still a processed food.

1. In Brazil one of the most popular pizza toppings is peas. Yes, the little green pea. Well, did you know those peas pack a pretty powerful punch? (lots of p’s) They are not only a great protein source but they’ve got vitamin K, manganese, thiamin, copper, vitamin C, phosphorus and folate. However, their real superpower is that they have a myriad of potent antioxidants including high amounts of a polyphenol called coumestrol - this just may lower your risk of stomach cancer. So don’t just roll those peas around on your plate - dive into them and enjoy their nutritional power. 2: When you buy Virgin Olive Oil you may not be getting exactly what you think. Yup about 70% of the olive oil sold is not actually pure. It’s not that there is another oil added, but the labels lead you to believe you are getting ‘virgin’ or the initial pressing and that’s the best oil to get. Now, ENIGMA

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3. Did you realise that storebought 100% ‘real’ orange juice is really 100% artificially flavoured to taste like oranges? You see to make orange juice at home you just squeeze the oranges right? Well to make it commercially you squeeze the oranges but then you have to strip out the oxygen and that’s because


you need the liquid to keep for up to a year without spoiling. But now there’s no flavour, so they put the artificial flavour back in.

in Sardinia that is purposely infested with maggots. Casu Marzu literally translates to ‘rotten cheese’ and it’s classi-

It’s made from sheep’s milk, soaked in brine, smoked and left to ripen outside in the open, uncovered which

ent maggots and by feeding on the cheese they produce enzymes that promote fermentation and cause fats that make the cheese decompose. Locals will tell you the spicy, creamy cheese is only okay to eat if the maggots are still moving because once the maggots are dead the cheese has gone bad - decayed to a point that it’s too toxic for human consumption. It’s actually been declared illegal and not in compliance with EU hygienic standards - ha - I wonder why????

4. Get prepared for this one if you’re from the West. There is an amusement park in Tokyo, Japan that offers Raw Horse Flesh flavoured ice-cream. I kid you not - there are actual chunks of horse in this ice-cream. And other flavours on offer are cow tongue, octopus and squid.

5. How’s your love of So there you have the 5 fascicheese? hopefully, you’re nating food facts - trust you vegan and don’t eat it - but if you do. this is going to tick- fied as the world most dan- allows cheese flies to lay eggs have enjoyed. le the back of your throat. gerous cheese. inside it. The eggs hatch into Casu Marzu is a cheese found thousands of white transpar- - Fee O’Shea

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A Deadly Outcome, It Really Is In The Works History is filled with conspiracies, plots, and treacherous acts that have altered the course of history. 2020 will be remembered by the pandemic that swept over the world. This was by no means an accident. So sinister nobody would have thought that anyone could conceive such a plot to hold the world hostage. A silent terror unleashed by man’s incompetence amidst an Administration desperately seeking a second term.

events that are sweeping out of Think about that for a moment! control all over the world today? The availability of abundant clean, contaminant free drinking water is It is a very sad fact that too many a very scarce commodity. In the of societies populations are pawns United States our drinking water is in the world of Global and nation- filled with known poisons like al domination. Sacrificial lambs Fluoride, and arsenic. Not only is who have always been duped into our water but the infrastructure believing that the way things are is that is in place to transfer water to really beyond their control. our faucets has been compromised Sacrificed for the benefit of just a elevating the dangers and pollufew or the one. So many lives could tants lurking in our water that conhave been saved and so many tributes to the decline of our livelihoods restored had we had Human events have been filled the proper protocols in place when with heinous acts of evil intentions we first had knowledge that a whose thirst for power, control, deadly virus was unleashed. and wealth continues to unleash unimaginable horror. Today’s One cannot help wonder that just ©Dave Weinthal Coronavirus Pandemic thought not maybe this Pandemic could have so blood thirsty as those in the past really been avoided entirely even but, none the less the deadly out- though we may never know if this comes equate just the same. A lot virus was instigated by someone’s of people are now starting to ask direct influence or not. Could there questions. Who and why at this really be something in the water particular time set in motion the that people the world over drink?

immune system. When our immune system is compromised we fall pray to viruses and infections such as this Coronavirus. It is no wonder then that so many people the world over have and are becoming infected. All because of the water that so many people drink. For decades water infrastructure all across the world has been decaying to the point that more pollution than ever has seeped into aquifers, wells, waste water treatment centers and under ground pipes. All because man continues to use the planet as a garbage dump. The toxins in the worlds water vastly contributes to man’s weakened immune system. Nobody has even mentioned the fact of how drinking water affects the bodies self defense mechanism. Could it be that Big Pharma would loose out of the billions if people ENIGMA

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had healthy immune systems to ward off infection instead of relying on an expensive vaccine. But, today so many people in the United States and around the world don’t have the accessibility, the financial capability, and the knowledge to use the proper procedures to boost their immune system along with the hygiene to keep their immune system healthy. It is a known fact that drinking dis-

tilled water and consuming vitamin C, E, Cod Liver Oil and garlic all are immune system enhancers. To support immune systems access to clean hygiene methods, a healthy diet, moderate exercise and sleep all contribute to a persons ability to ward off infections. This trillion dollar bailout the US has implemented will do nothing to educate the population on protective measures nor will it provide the infrastructure to put in place distilled drinking water for all Americans. People the world over will still be without the availability or the financial means to access the necessary items that promotes healthy immune systems and so much more that needs to be done so that another Coronavirus like epidemic will never erupt into the Pandemic we are witnessed to today.

- Dr. Tim G Williams



Classic TV Show With Outdated Titles To compete with the Super Bowl this past Sunday, a local television station decided to air a marathon of a sitcom that is associated with the biggest name in that particular game. Any viewer who did not care to watch Tom Brady, the quarterback of the New England Patriots, could instead tune in to a fictional family who shares his last name. Patriarch Mike and matriarch Carol are the heads of the house, where six siblings tackle day to day problems that confront kids. For my generation this family will always be the most famous with that last name, but to millenials The Brady Bunch may be more likely to be associated with Tom Brady and his treasure of Super Bowl appearances. While the title of the sitcom with Marcia and Greg and their Brady siblings may become outdated in the coming years, here are nine shows with titles

that have been outdated since before the start of the current century. Kolchak: The Night Stalker Darren McGavin portrayed the clumsy but persistent Chicago reporter whose title stemmed from his pursuit of monsters like vampires and werewolves, but today stalker has a much more negative connotation. The Beverly Hillbillies The noun in the title is no longer acceptable in civilized society, which now refers to that particular part of American population as Appalachians or people of Scottish and Irish descent. Dennis the Menace Jay North’s young character was a pest, certainly, especially for an old grouch like Mr. Wilson, but the boy certainly would never be described as a

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menace in today’s world.

considered unacceptable today, due to its implication that men, and men only, were the heads of the bousehold.

Chico and the Man The name in the title has become a stereotype that American society would no longer tolerate in a sitcom starring a man from Mexico.

McMillan and Wife Rock Hudson was MacMillan and Susan St. James was the wife, whose name being omitted would cause a controversy were this weekly mystery series to ever be brought back to television.

Mr. Peepers He was a teacher in the series, which nowadays makes the name sound even creepier than it did back in a more innocent era.

Jake and the Fat Man

Mayberry RFD Rural Free Delivery was an unknown acronym to most of America when the show came disappearing. Home out in the early Seventies, so it is certainly obsolete now when Wait Till Your Father Gets This animated series would be the concept of mail itself is

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William Conrad was the guy not named Jake, but any producer today would have more sensitivity than to use a title like this one.

- Doug Poe


Weirdos and Crazy People I’ve been running across a bunch of crazy people lately and it’s had me thinking. Am I doing something to attract these people that I’m not really aware of or is it mere coincidence? Did the bus from Milledgeville break down nearby or am I just a plain old weirdo magnet? I can deal with crazies fairly well and I’m not afraid of most of them but like all things they are best handled in moderation. A couple of Jehovah’s Witness types on your doorstep at 10:00 am is okay as a daily dose of weirdness but not as a warm-up for some guy picking his nose and humming Led Zeppelin tunes next to you at the Waffle

bers and a toy poodle hopeful- something that dropped out of ly just along for a ride and it a horse. A crazy person might I am fully aware that entering could very well be that The just throw it at you. any given Waffle House at any given hour is just plain asking for it and that any place that serves hashbrowns topped with mushrooms (“capped” they call it) is likely to be frequented by goobers and forty year-old guys with subscriptions to Boy’s Life and pill problems but, goddam it…. that should pretty much do it for the day. Come 6:30 and you find yourself in line at the Food City behind another nose picker, this one androgynous and sporting a purple Mohawk, with a basket full of wrestling magazines, Vaseline, cucumHouse an hour or so later.

Universe is messing with you. Sometimes the line is a little more blurred and harder to call. A weirdo, for instance, might own eleven chainsaws but a crazy person (or is it the other way around?) might have Especially if they’re drooling. a freezer full of Jehovah’s Witness parts. Either way, you You can decide for yourself don’t want them living next whether or not I’m dreaming door. all of this up but I’ve put up with weirdos and crazy people Sometimes crazy is just a small seemingly without end for a step sideways off the weirdo long, long time. And if you path as in the following: don’t know the difference weirdos will bang on your door between crazy and weird let at 10:00 am, identifying themme try and help you out here. selves as representatives of A weirdo, if he gets really bent Jesus Christ and insist that out of shape, will mail you grape juice was served at the Last Supper (Luke: Hey, If he/she/it just happens to turn in your direction and lecherously look you up and down, it’s kind of a sure thing.

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Judas…you look kind of bummed out. Pass me a couple of shot glasses and that pitcher of Welch’s and pull up a chair, dude.) leaving you to doubt their sanity. Crazy people will sometimes do the same but also fiddle around with rattlesnakes for good measure. Again, it’s a tough call. I know one thing for sure. Crazy, weird, or just in need of a little observation to be on the safe side, I wish the majority of nutballs out there would buy one way bus tickets to Detroit and use them and leave the rest of us well-adjusted folks to our own devices and doings. The very next time I’m out for a ride on the motorcycle and find an inviting stretch of water where I can park and jump in, turning the sweltering

heat of mid-day into a shivering, teeth-chattering experience better talked about than experienced, I don’t want to see any creepy types with giant Adam’s Apples riding up on unicycles in their BVD’s in broad daylight looking to do the same. I’m not sure which one that is- crazy or weird- but either way, I don’t like it. Just pass me by already and start pedaling your freak ass north and you might just catch up to that Greyhound at the next stop.

Hell no.

And just so I know that The Universe is screwing with me (thanks Universe!) this isn’t the only improbable incident in my history involving a nearly naked whack job making their way down a public thoroughfare on a bizarre mode of transport.

I hit the gas. Hard.

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Ten years ago I was in my Jeep and on my way to visit my parents in Palm Coast, Fl and was traveling down Hwy 100 outside of Keystone, a no account burg that any sane person wouldn’t want to even stop for gas in. I was tempted to drive through it as quickly as possible but didn’t want to risk a ticket so I just puttered along until finally the road cleared and the speed limit went up. Way up.

A few hundred yards later I was passing Jimrod’s Trailer Paradise on the right, an out and out Hellhole on the shore of a small lake. Clotheslines full, decrepit cars as well as

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homes on cinder blocks and their decrepit owners staring, beer in hand, from behind charcoal grills full of God knows what, I attempted to flee this horrid tableau, headed for the coast with its palm trees, beaches and a Chile’s in place of Timmy’s Burger Hole. I wasn’t fast enough. Peeling my eyes away from Jimrod’s, the ugliest thing this side of a raw oyster and back to the road was easy. Having them come to rest on what was to my left had me teetering on the brink of something too terrible for words in less than two seconds. There in broad daylight, to my utter amazement, was an overweight, sweaty black guy on a donkey at a dead trot, I’m guessing headed for Timmy’s Burger Hole for a milkshake


and a king-sized order of tater feeding the fish and turtles tots. He was wearing a cowboy from or just sitting on and starhat and boots. ing up at the stars at night while your mind keeps you And a Speedo. perfect company. It is Heaven on earth. The nightmares persist. I know. I used to live there. Weirdos and crazy people With a woman that people come and go and most of them including me, sometimes - say are, by and large, harmless but might be crazy. Maybe she is, that’s not always the case. At maybe she isn’t, but I know her 4:30 this morning I got a phone and whatever form of nuts she call from somebody I was quite might be, she’s earned it. close to for more than a few Trouble has followed her all years and apparently she’s her life and it hasn’t let up yet. really a weirdo magnet! She lives on another small lake fif- Yesterday they say she got teen miles away from Jimrod’s crazy and pulled a gun on some only this one truly is paradise, rednecks in a boat that found or was. A rustic home with the their way to where she was most bitchin’ fireplace and bothering absolutely no one wood floors you’ve ever seen. and feeding her friends, the Gorgeous flower gardens and fish. They got weird and before an orchard. A perfect dock for it was over she went to jail, swimming, catching a few rays, charged with assault with a

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deadly weapon. I’ve heard her side of the story, I believe it, and I have to say I might have done the same thing. Does that make me crazy? Maybe. I used to feed those same fish and turtles, enjoying every second of them, and maybe that also makes me weird. But when deviant people who give the impression that they are up to no good come sidling up to you when you’re minding your own business and trying to have a life, it pays to be on your guard, lest you wind up in pieces in some freezer in a trailer park.

don’t especially want to, I’m keeping a close eye on the lot of them and God knows I’m beginning to hate a few, especially the ones that harass innocent women because they think they can get away with it. I know I’m not supposed to hate anybody, at least that’s what the representatives of Jesus Christ will tell you and really I wish that I didn’t. Life’s too short for all of that. I think I might just go to some church some day soon and pray for all of the misfit nuts out there. But if some crazy weirdo throws a snake on me, I swear I’m catching the next bus for Detroit.

I’ve gotta tell you, I’ve about had it with some of these You can email me at badlydisfreaks running around loose turbed@yahoo.com these days. And although I

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NEVER LIKED THE BEATLES NEVER LOVED ELVIS JIM SELLS Be warned now. The foil I line my hat with is too thin. I bought the cheap shit instead of the freezer thickness stuff I usually purchase (in bulk). So . . . this is going to be disjointed and scattered, smothered, covered, diced, horked and chunked. In other words, the same shite as usual; I’m just warning y’all this time. Run away QUICKLY!

Skynyrd” band; and cut-off blue jean shorts. I, by God, WILL blend in if circumstances require. However, I have avoided acquiring the Mark of the Beats, the One Pin to Bind Them, seeing as how I have every intention of avoiding this goatrope, just as I do every year. It’s just good to be prepared with some camouflage should push come to shove and, the next thing you know, you’re caught up in some mass rush to catch every damn note of the Bachman-Cummings Atrocity or whatever they are referring to themselves as these days.

Whatever. The Apocalypse approaches and we all shrug and have another mojito. I somehow think Hunter would be proud, mumbling around his cigarette holder whilst discerning the location of high-quality To all local bands playing: have recreational chemicals . . . a great show and get paid. And Are you prepared for the End if you miscount your merch on Days? I, for one, have bought purpose, you can cut down on my black socks; cheap sandals; the blood-money percentage t-shirts of the reunited “Lynyrd they stick ya for. God, leeches,

Retro Cafe

man, just leeches . . . I really hope this show is a step on a full recovery/rebound of the Black Crowes to their former greatness, back in the days before Kate Hudson showed up and their notorious sibling rivalry poisoned it all. There was a time I would have taken a machete and carved myself a broad swath to the very front of the stage but then it just all went to Hell. That’s a freakin’ shame. A band that can write songs such as “Jealous Again” and “Soul Singing” and “Remedy” has no damn business packing it in, especially with everyone having a bad taste in their mouths. Maybe the hermanos Robinson can suck it up; put down the bong

The Best of New Wave, Post Modern Classics and Other Odd Stuff

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for a minute; and remember why they started doing this crazy shit in the first place – the joy of making music. If they can pull off that feat of prestidigitation, they just might make it through this “reunion” thing intact . . . An apology (and pay attention –I don’t do many of these): I was remiss last week in not mentioning the splendid evening spent at Barking Legs with esteemed fellow staff member Mark Bedford. Wait. Oh Hell, pardon me a moment – I MUST air guitar rock out to Whitesnake’s “Slow and Easy” . . . ahhhhhhh, that’s MUCH better. Anyway, he and I chatted up the shape and size of the world as we know it within a


coupla hours, and we hadn’t seen one another in forever. How many people do you know that you can do that with? He was gracious enough to provide good company AND good beer. Sweet Jesus, what more could a man ask? And to talk New Order with a fellow obsessive fan is always a joy. Christamighty, for those afternoons on the Stone Lion fence/banister/whatever outside with all the time in the world and nothing to do with it ... There’s really nothing new musicwise for me to ramble about. Madonna has a new album out but I’m really afraid to go there. I have an admission to make: I’m a serious closet Madonna fan. There. I feel so much better to have that out in the open. Clean, almost . . . anyway, she’s had me since the singles “ Holiday ” and “Lucky Star” and the movie “Desperately Seeking Susan”. I’ve dealt with the ups and downs of her

career – the Golden Globe; the multiple Grammys; Warren Beatty, for God’s sake. I mean, I have been there, people, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this album to suck. Of course, it may kick total ass and put the wind back in my sails and put to rest all fears – I don’t know. Yet. I AM gonna get my paws on a copy, tho’, and I‘ll let y’all know just exactly what’s up with it soon . . . As I was tooling around with my too-hot better half (love you, Holly) this past Sunday, I saw Rob Oldham of all people raisin’ up at the ROC vs. GOP thang at JJ’s Bohemia . It’s always good to see a fellow veteran of a thousand psychic wars up and around. Also, I didn’t see all of the show (the gut rumbled and I obeyed) but Jane Starship, the band I DID see, kicked serious ass. It was a lot of fun to hear a band of seasoned musicians channeling some serious pop-rock goodness. Hot damn! And, lest I for-

get, the previous night at the same fine establishment, the Unsatisfied and others (I’m not trying to piss off the other bands; I’m just old and don’t remember shit anymore) rocked the house. I still have Eric Scaelf greasepaint on (one of my various) Hawaiian shirts. Doug, Johnny. Wayne-O and Brian provided the great soundtrack to the first memorable Saturday night I’ve had in a while. Well done, gents. Man, right now I am immersed in the self-titled Robbie Robertson album. I’d forgotten how damn good this was. He just blistered every track on this thang and then went to do soundtracks for PBS documentaries or some shit – I dunno. I do know he hasn’t cranked out anything like this since and that’s too damn bad. Get a copy of this somehow. Hell, talk to me. You GOTTA have this. Oh yeah, suck it hard, RIAA . . . Well, get in the handbasket with me, dear readers. It’s all sliding down a greased chute toward an uncertain and brutal end, so we might as well jam on some good rock and fill up on $6 gas. I’ll bring the pork rinds. Y’all work out the rest. Seriously, stay away from the approaching doom. However, if you feel compelled to attend, try to STAY OUT OF TROUBLE. Towing companies and bail bondsmen love this shindig; it pays for their summer getaways. Make ‘em stay home, like everyone else is this year. There’ll be reviews next week, I promise. Later taters.

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1. The Highwaywomen 2. Finneas 3. Pearl Jam 4. Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit 5. Soccer Mommy 6. Robin Grant & The Standard 7. The Strokes 8. Monday Night Social 9. Drive-By Truckers 10. Nathaniel Rateliff 11. AJR 12. Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors 13. Wolf Parade 14. Mike Campbell’s The Dirty Knobs 15. Andy Shauf 16. Umphrey’s McGee 17. Tame Impala 18. Alanis Morissette 19. Puss N Boots 20. Best Coast

ADVENTURE PICKS 1. The Killers 2. Lisa Loeb 3. The Lumineers


I Want To Be A Cowboy I want to be a Cowboy. I might be a little too old to be thinking that way and God knows I’ve had some crazyassed ideas in my half a hundred years but most of them haven’t been acted upon, I don’t care what you may have heard. Right now today, though, I’m really really wishing I could pull on my boots, don my white hat and strap on my trusty six-shooter for a ride off into the sunset.

that sits on what used to be picturesque pasture land dotted here and there with large trees - a perfect place for an aspiring cowpoke to practice up on herding things that moo or tying other, fun things like lassos or even nooses and I still can’t tie a sheepshank slinging them over high and I get turned around lost in the mall not to mention out in the woods but we all have our shortcomings. Give me a piece of flint and some steel to rub it Oops! I’m already sporting my on, though, and I can start a “shooting iron”, a holdover fire big enough to burn down from my night last night which the stupid mall –the same one was as good a time to be packing as any old white boy might happen across in this day and age. “Be Prepared” they’ll teach you in the Boy Scouts and I was one of them once, believe it or not.

doesn’t it? It does to me. It’s too bad I dislike horses. They are evil things that will kick you and trample you and indiscriminately decide to run like old ladies, thereby costing

branches in studied prepara- you a fortune and also they tion for any rustling polecats will leave things for you to that might happen along. step in that you’d really rather not. Maybe, this being the Toss in cooking out over an twenty-first century and all, open fire and sleeping out cowboys are allowed to ride under the stars and obeying 4wheelers instead and I sure seems like a pretty natural hope so. I really, really want to progression for any aged, for- be a Cowboy. mer Boy Scout in midlife crisis, ENIGMA

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Here’s why….

honest and saw to it that every drink that could and should be I’ve been a bartender for the sold did. majority of the last thirty-two years; for the most part, a No gimmes. Ever. pretty good one. But just as the ability to tie a sheepshank or a Not a goddammed one. I’ll pay clove hitch would prove to be for the polygraph. elusive in my early years, there have always been areas in my If you ever got an unpaid-for mixology career in which I drink from me that wasn’t have come up painfully short. authorized by the boss than I Just ask around. paid for it out of my pocket. Not all of them cheerfully, but In addition to being aestheti- I paid anyway because that’s cally challenged (I have a mir- what I do. I’ve spent a new car ror and it works so no argu- on walkouts over the years ment there), I am rumored to and I wish some of you have the temperament of a goobers that owe me would bear with its foot in a trap and settle up, already. Times are a toothache. I had a boss once tough. who put me at a service bar in a corner behind a big wall to What else I did was I made a keep me out of contact with career out of learning every his customers so that accusa- way I could to make a drink tion might contain some small suit a customer without over shred of truth. Also, on the pouring and cheating the Top 10 list that was customari- house. Chopping down ice, ly read out to the crowd at loading straws with liquor or Flashbacks on weekends, I was floating it on top for that first once the subject of the list. eye-opening sip or just plain Reasons # 10 and 9, respective- old trying to up sell to a douly, not to ever hire me were ble isn’t dishonest trickery and that all of the employees hated you can always add juice to a me and all of the customers screwdriver if you make somehated me so I suppose I’m just body choke too hard. Try takan asshole. I know I purpose- ing it out sometime. fully was to the little shit that made the list so it might be I don’t short pour, not even for somewhat tainted. assholes. I would for a time back in the day if you wanted I wasn’t all bad, though. In an that 12th lemon drop but it says industry riddled with charla- not to in the bible so I’d rather tans and opportunists, I at just not sell you another. Come least tried to be the employee to my bar and you get what I would want for my own and you pay for but please…..pay barring a certain irreverence for what you get. Is that so that couldn’t be subdued and bad? the “occasional” cussword here and there, I think I pretty I’ve learned what seems like a much pulled it off. I wasn’t a million drink recipes and forjuggler, physiatrist or social gotten a bunch of them but I coordinator but I was dead remember how to make an Old ENIGMA

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Fashioned. I carried a muddler, what looks like a 6 inch baseball bat and is used to mush up its fruity ingredients, to work for years and it wasn’t for threatening waitresses who would conveniently forget to write up a drink fifteen times a night, though it could have been. There’s that honesty thing again.

anachronism. Nobody out there seems to have a need for an employee like Yours Truly and I don’t know what to make of it. Speed demon veterans who have your back and will fire their own wives for showing up late to work (Yes. I did.) are obviously out of favor these days. They might loan you back every nickel you ever paid them if you get in a tight The man who taught me spot but, really….what good integrity took his last breath a are they in the big picture? little over four years ago and I let go of his hand for the last Not much, I guess. I found time and made my way to work myself working, after a bit of ten hours later. I drove five job searching, in some pretty hundred miles to get there and gruesome conditions this I can tell you this. Not a mile weekend. Surrounded by a went by that I didn’t have a mob of thugs that nobody in hard time seeing the road their right mind would want clearly. any part of waiting on, I endured it all with little Not a godammed one. protest. I tuned out what even they know is a defamation to I got to work on time. I think the word music and, in he would have been proud. between popping beers, romanced the idea of the open The thing he might not have range. The lone prairie and the been too proud of was my high true place where the wind mouth. I’ve been known to whispers down from the pines cuss like a wounded pirate on and lulls you into a sense of occasion, usually over some- oneness with the stars in the body doing something lazy or sky and sets your soul at ease. dishonest that reflects badly on an industry I love. I am less Unless, of course, some thievthan perfect. ing, rustling polecat tries to swipe your cows and then, by I can keep my mouth shut golly, you just string ‘em up or when it counts, though. Like shoot ‘em, don’t you? And the when the people around me do fact that thugs will stand next less than perfect dumb things to your bar and smoke somethat can get them in trouble, thing that smells like polecats for instance. I’m still keeping instead of buying a drink from some dirty secrets and always you and there’s really nothing will. And one other thing….. you can do about it just makes it even worse. I am very, very fast. It’s time for a career change, But now it seems that all of obviously. Even though Derby that stuff means nothing. Day is coming and any bar Apparently, I’m a dinosaur, an worth a damn might need an ENIGMA

old guy who knows how to make a mint julep and can make a thousand of the damn things if need be and collect for every one of them, it’s time to move on but my heart’s not in it. It’s not ticking like it used to and should be and it’s giving me fits but one thing’s for sure. My heart has always been in the bar business. And some day soon when the horses shoot out of the gate and people are caught up in the excitement of it all, shouting at bartenders for beers and at horses for running like old ladies, I’ll be missing the hell out of it, wishing for all the world for one last chance to do the thing that has made me happiest over the years.

if he had anything to do with it and things ran as they should because of him. That’s what they tell me. He ignored the chest pains and other worsening symptoms that warned him things weren’t quite right until it was just a little too late, though. And one busy night, in the heat and the noise and the fury of it all, he dropped to the floor, suddenly dead, the music right behind as a stunned crowd looked on, aghast. They’d have buried him out back of the place if they could have gotten away with it. He loved it that much, they tell me.

They did the next best thing, though. A few of them got Tough shit for me, huh? together and opened a bar in his honor and named it after I knew of a man down in him but it didn’t last. It couldGoat’s Ass, Florida several n’t have, really. years back that loved his work in this business and was Not without the man who defined by it as much as I do inspired it. A business needs and am. My customers in the sacrifice and dedication somecrummy little joint I had open times and not just any damned down there for a year used to fool will gamble his own life to tell me about him after the see one make a go of it. This cold beer got the best of them one needed that. and it fascinated me. I’m sorry I never met the guy but I talked On Highway 19, just outside of to his widow, his best friend Palatka, Fl there stood, for a and a host of others about him while, a bar that folks there and came to understand the still talk about and sometimes, true nature of a man who was after a beer too many, they cry a legend in a town that is noth- about it a little. I forget the ing, if not serious about its man’s name but I saw his picdrinking. He showed up every ture there and I know what day on time at a place called everyone, even his wife, used the Hi Level, an out and out to call him. dump if there ever was one, and put his heart and soul into “Cowboy”. seeing that it ran as it should. Everybody who could stand I feel like I’ve been robbed. another beer had one in hand - Craig Fentress

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THIS WEEK IN ROCK HISTORY 1199 5577 Buddy Knox became the first artist in the Rock ‘n’ Roll era to write his own number one hit when “Party Doll” topped the Billboard chart. Buddy would go on to place four more songs in the Top 40 between 1957 and 1961. The Everly Brothers release “Bye Bye Love”, a song that was rejected by 30 labels before Cadence Records picked it up. The song went to #2 on the US Pop chart and #1 on the Country & Western chart.

the first record company to do so. Elvis Presley’s single, “Stuck on You” is RCA’s first mono / stereo release. 11 9966 33 16-year-old Lesley Gore records her breakthrough hit, “It’s My Party”. Producer Quincy Jones hurried Gore into the studio when he found out that Phil Spector was going to cut the song with The Crystals. The single would reach #1 in the US and #9 in the UK.

11 9966 44 Former Beatles drummer Pete Best appears on US TV’s I’ve Got A Secret. It only took a handful of questions before the panel guessed his former occupation and when host Gary Moore asked him why he left the group, he said “I thought I’d like to start of group of my own and I thought at that time they weren’t going to go as big as they Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode” is are now.” released. It would enter the Billboard charts six weeks later The Beach Boys record “I Get and rise to number 8 on the Hot Around”, which will become their 100 and number two on the R&B first US #1 single by the following chart. The song’s original lyrics July, selling nearly two million referred to Johnny as a “colored copies. It reached #7 in the UK. boy”, but Berry later acknowledged that he changed it to “country boy” The Beatles set a recording industo ensure radio play. try record that may never be equaled. They held the top 5 posi11 99 5599 tions on the Billboard Hot 100 with The Fleetwoods sing their current “Can’t Buy Me Love” at number 1, #1 hit “Come Softly To Me” on The “Twist and Shout” at number 2, Ed Sullivan Show. The song was “She Loves You” at number 3, “I written as “Come Softly”, but the Want to Hold Your Hand” at numowner of Dolphin Records, Bob ber 4 and “Please Please Me” at Reisdorf, added “To Me” because number 5. In Canada, they had nine he thought the original title might of the Top 10 singles, while the be considered risque and would Australian charts saw them occupynot receive radio play. It’s interest- ing the first six places. ing to note that the title phrase never appears in the song’s lyrics. 11 9966 55 30-year-old Sonny Bono and his 18year-old wife Cher are signed to 1199 66 00 RCA Victor Records announces that Atco Records by Ahmet Ertegun. it will release all Pop singles in The duo had earlier made a handmono and stereo simultaneously, ful of unsuccessful singles as 11 99 5588 Little Richard had his final US Top 10 hit with a song he had recorded in October, 1956, “Good Golly Miss Molly”. The previous Autumn he had given up Rock ‘n’ Roll and had enrolled at Oakwood College in Huntsville, Alabama, to study theology.

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Caesar And Cleo, but over the next enjoy over the next ten years. seven years they would enjoy eleven Billboard Top 40 hits. 11 9977 55 Minnie Riperton’s, “Lovin’ You” reached the top of the Billboard 1199 6666 The Troggs use 45 minutes of spare singles chart. Minnie began recordstudio time to record “Wild Thing” ing as part of The Gems and then at Regent Sound Studio in London. later with Rotary Connection. She The raw, simple little tune would had retired from the music scene in climb to #2 in the UK and #1 in the 1970 to raise a family when Stevie US, selling over a million copies by Wonder persuaded her to join his the following June. back-up group, Wonderlove. Wonder later produced Riperton’s Herb Alpert And The Tijuana Brass first solo album, “Perfect Angel” become the first act to have four along with four more albums LP’s in the Top 10 of the Billboard before she died of cancer on July album chart. 12th, 1979. “Lovin’ You” reached #2 in the UK. 11 9966 77 1199 7766 Jimi Hendrix suffered minor burns after he set fire to his guitar for the Johnnie Taylor’s “Disco Lady” first time at The Rainbow Theatre. climbed to number one on the That night, he shared the stage with Billboard Pop chart. It would The Walker Brothers, Cat Stevens become the first disc to be given and, believe it or not, Engelbert the newly introduced Platinum Humperdinck. Award by The Recording Industry Association of America. In the UK, 18-year-old Steve Winwood left The the song reached #25. Spencer Davis Group to join Dave 11 9977 77 Mason, Jim Capaldi and Chris Wood in Traffic. Winwood had been with Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” album Spencer Davis since he was 15. went to #1 on the Billboard chart where it stayed for 31 weeks. Cindy Birdsong, formerly of Patti Worldwide, the LP would sell over LaBelle’s Bluebelles, was asked to 25 million copies. fill in for Florence Ballard of The Supremes after Ballard missed a 1199 8822 number of shows in New Orleans, The Doobie Brothers announced Los Angeles and Montreal. that they were splitting up. The Birdsong became a permanent band started in the ‘70s with the #11 member a few months later. hit “Listen to the Music” and would re-unite for 1989’s Top Ten smash, “The Doctor”. 1199 6699 The Doors’ Jim Morrison turns himself in to the FBI in Los Angeles. He 1199 8833 is charged with inter-state flight to Danny Rapp of Danny And The avoid prosecution on six charges of Juniors, died of a self-inflicted gunlewd behavior and public exposure shot wound. His band achieved two at a concert in Miami on March classic 1950’s hits, “At the Hop” (#1) 2nd, 1969. He is later released on and “Rock and Roll is Here to Stay” $2000 bail. (#19). He was 41 years old. US Interior Secretary James Watt 1199 77 00 Only Ringo Starr is present at the final Beatles recording session, where he overdubs percussion tracks for “The Long and Winding Road”, “Across The Universe” and “I Me Mine”. Diana Ross makes her first solo concert appearance, in Framingham, Massachusetts. 11 9977 11 Ringo Starr releases “It Don’t Come Easy”, which will climb to #4 in both the US and the UK. It is the first of ten Billboard Top 40 hits he will

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PUZZLE ANSWERS


officially announces that he will not invite The Beach Boys and The Grass Roots to perform at the annual Fourth of July celebration in Washington because they attract “the wrong element of people.” His choice of entertainers is Wayne Newton. President Ronald Regan would overturn the decision two days later. 11 9988 44 44-year-old Marvin Gaye was shot and killed by his father after a heated family argument. Gaye had just received a Grammy for his hit, “Sexual Healing”, his first Top 40 single in 5 1/2 years. Remarkably, Gaye’s father received only a sixyear suspended sentence and five years probation after pleading guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Charges of first-degree murder were dropped after doctors discovered Marvin Sr. had a brain tumor which would kill him in October, 1998. 11 99 8855 David Lee Roth quit Van Halen shortly after releasing his version of The Beach Boys’ “California Girls”, which featured Carl Wilson

on background vocals. Roth’s 1199 9988 record actually sold slightly better 50-year-old drummer Cozy (Collin) than the original. He was replaced Powell was killed in a car accident by Sammy Hagar later in the year. after bad weather forced him to lose control on a highway near 1199 8888 Bristol. He had worked with Black The Traveling Wilburys record Sabbath, Whitesnake, Rainbow, “Handle With Care” in Malibu, Peter Green, Jeff Beck and Florida. The Quintet is comprised Emerson, Lake And Powell. of Nelson (George Harrison), Lucky (Bob Dylan), Otis (Jeff Lynn), 22000077 Charlie (Tom Petty) and Lefty (Roy Former KISS guitarist Mark St. John Orbison). died from an apparent brain hemorrhage at the age of 51. St. John was Kiss’ third official guitarist, 11 9999 33 Ray Charles became the first per- having replaced Vinnie Vincent in former to have hits on Billboard’s 1984 and appeared on the album charts in five different decades “Animalize”. when his version of Leon Russell’s 22000088 “A Song For You” entered the R&B singles chart. With her 18th chart-topping hit, “Touch My Body”, 38 year old Mariah Carey passed Elvis Presley 1199 9966 The Beatles had the #1 album on the for the most number one songs on UK chart with “Anthology 2”. It had the Billboard singles chart, placing similar success in America where it her second only to The Beatles. topped the Billboard Hot 200 and 22001122 sold over 1.7 million copies. The surviving members of The Jerry Garcia’s widow, Deborah, and Jacksons, Jackie, Jermaine, Marlon Grateful Dead guitarist Bob Weir and Tito, announced that they scatter part of Jerry’s ashes in the were reforming for the first time since 1984. A six week series of Ganges River in India.

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concert dates during June and July, called The Unity Tour, would see them perform their classic hits once again. The Los Angeles County coroner released Whitney Houston’s final autopsy report which showed the singer drowned face down in a tub of “extremely hot water” about 12 inches deep. Her death was ruled an accidental drowning with the “effects of atherosclerotic heart disease and cocaine use” as contributing factors. 22001155 Robert Burns Jr., Lynyrd Skynyrd’s original drummer, was killed in a single car accident in Georgia at the age of 64. He played on the band’s first two albums, 1973’s “Pronounced ‘Leh-’nerd ‘Skin’nerd” and 1974’s “Second Helping” before leaving due to the rigors of touring. He rejoined Skynyrd on stage at the band’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony performance in 2006 where he was enshrined alongside his former band mates.


Ste v a r in o’s Take Out Menu

Chattanooga Location! Now Offering Beer To-Go! Take home a gallon of beer with the purchase of food. Domestic $17 Craft $25 Stevarinos Chattanooga 325 Cherokee Blvd #100 Chattanooga, TN 37405 423-648-5420

Starters

Sampler Combination of fried mozzarella sticks, Irish egg rolls, and beach bread $11.00

Fried Mozzarella Hand breaded to order, fresh, not frozen. Served with marinara sauce $8.00 Irish Egg Rolls Tender baked Corned Beef and cheese rolled in an egg roll skin, fried, and served with 1000 island dressing $9.00 Buffalo Spring Rolls Chicken wing sauce and mozzarella stuffed in an egg roll skin. Served with Bleu cheese and celery $9.00

Stuffed Mushrooms Stuffed with crabmeat then baked in white wine, garlic and topped with fresh mozzarella cheese $8.00 Beach Bread An in house creation! A Hoagie roll toasted with garlic and oil, covered with bleu cheese dressing, tomatoes, bacon and baked with mozzarella $9.00 Spinach Dip Bread Bowl Fresh spinach and artichoke hearts in a creamy sauce $9.00 Buffalo Wings Jumbo wings, served naked and tossed in Frank’s Hot Sauce. Served with French Fries $10.00

Buffalo Shrimp* Lightly floured and flash fried, tossed in Frank’s Hot Sauce. Served with bleu cheese and celery $9.00 Fried Calamari Lightly breaded then flash fried. Served with marinara sauce $9.00

Potato Skins Deep fried skins topped with bacon and 2 cheeses. Served with sour cream $8.00

Stevarinos South Pittsburg 238 S. Cedar Ave S. Pittsburg, TN 37380 423-837-5420

Ahi Tuna* Sushi grade Ahi tuna, dusted in sesame seeds and pan seared rare. Served with Wasabi and ginger on the side. Also available blackened $10.00

Chicken Finger Basket Hand breaded fresh jumbo Chicken Tenders served with French fries & your choice of Honey mustard or BBQ sauce $9.00 Salads

Bleu Cheese Walnut Salad Mixed baby greens with dried cranberries, walnuts, bleu cheese crumbles, bacon, tomatoes, and strawberries tossed in a balsamic walnut vinaigrette $9.00 Greek Salad House greens, green peppers, sun-dried tomatoes, onions, black olives, pepperoncini, fresh tomatoes and feta cheese tossed in our house dressing $9.00

Fried Chicken Salad House greens topped with fried chicken breast tenders, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, red onions and your choice of dressing $9.00 Cobb Salad House greens topped with grilled chicken, bacon, ham, hard-boiled eggs, tomatoes and bleu cheese crumbles $9.00

Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad Romaine hearts, country croutons, Romano and Parmesan cheese, tossed in Caesar dressing $9.00 Topped with a Chicken Breast $11.00 Topped with Shrimp

Papa Joe’s Salad This salad comes from our friends in Cape Coral, Florida. Diced ham, salami, and provolone cheese on a bed of greens with tomatoes, red onions, black olives and topped with diced pepperoncini and our house dressing $9.00 Chicken Salad

Stevarinos Scottsboro 3509 S. Broad St Scottsboro, AL 35769 256-259-5420

Our own recipe and made fresh daily. Chunks of chicken breast, mayonnaise, walnuts, craisins, celery and onions on a bed of greens $9.00

Ahi Tuna Salad* Mixed greens tossed with tomatoes and craisins in a sesame ginger dressing, topped with rice noodles, mandarin oranges, feta cheese, and seared ahi tuna $13.00 Spinach Salad Fresh Spinach with egg, bacon, strawberries, walnuts and feta cheese tossed in a raspberry vinaigrette $13.00 Topped with Salmon $9.00

Caprese Salad Italian Salad made with Fresh Mozzarella, tomatoes, fresh basil, with a balsamic glaze $8.00 House or Caesar Salad $6.00 Pasta Entrees

Chicken Parmesan Breaded chicken breasts baked in marinara sauce and smothered with mozzarella cheese. Served with a side of pasta. Substitute Eggplant Parmesan $13.00 Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo Alfredo sauce mixed heartily in pasta $2.00 extra Substitute Shrimp $14.00

Tuscan Tortellini Alfredo Cheese stuffed pasta with fresh spinach, sundried tomatoes, artichoke hearts and kalamata olives combined in a creamy alfredo sauce and topped with feta cheese $14.00 Chicken Francese Sautéed chicken breasts in an egg batter covered in a lemon cream sauce with tomatoes. Served on top of spaghetti pasta $2.00 extra Substitute Veal

$14.00

Spaghetti & Meatballs Spaghetti with marinara sauce, topped with your choice of Meatballs or Italian sausage $10.00 Cajun Pasta Andouille sausage, blackened chicken, and blackened shrimp, mixed with ziti and tossed in a cajun cream sauce $15.00

Chicken Pesto Pasta Sautéed artichoke hearts, spinach, mushrooms, black olives, and onions in a creamy pesto sauce $2.00 extra Substitute Shrimp $14.00 Pasta Carbonara Classic Italian pasta dish with bacon spinach and sundried tomatoes in a cream sauce $14.00

Chicken Marsala Boneless breast of chicken sautéed in Marsala wine with mushrooms. Served over pasta $2.00 extra Substitute Veal $14.00

Pasta Primavera Tri-colored rigatoni with sautéed fresh vegetables tossed in a lemon garlic and fresh herb sauce $10.00 Baked Pasta

Ask us about our Gluten Free options. Baked Ziti

Baked in ricotta and Romano cheeses mixed with marinara, smothered with mozzarella cheese $2.00 extra to add a Topping $11.00

Baked Ravioli


Jumbo cheese stuffed ravioli baked in marinara sauce and smothered with fresh mozzarella cheese $10.00 Baked Manicotti Pasta shells stuffed with our 3 cheese blend and covered marinara sauce and topped with mozzarella $11.00

Baked Lasagna Layers of pasta, beef, and assorted cheeses smothered with marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese, baked to perfection $12.00

Italian Casserole Pasta with marinara sauce, sausage, mushrooms and cheese topped with pepperoni and cheese” $12.00 Eggplant Rollatini Fresh eggplant breaded stuffed with our 3 cheese blend, covered with marinara sauce and topped with mozzarella $13.00 House Specialities

Mediterranean Chicken Lightly breaded chicken breast stuffed with feta cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, spinach, pepperoncini and baked in a white wine sauce. Served with your choice of two sides $14.00

Monterey Chicken Boneless chicken breasts covered with caramelized peppers and onions, melted cheese and topped with diced tomatoes. Served with your choice of two sides $14.00 Seafood

Shrimp Scampi* Jumbo shrimp sautéed in white wine, garlic, olive oil and Italian spices with a touch of lemon. Served over pasta $15.00

Fish and Chips Atlantic Cod dipped in a traditional English beer batter served with fries and slaw $14.00

Tuscan Salmon* Charbroiled then topped with sauteed artichoke hearts, spinach, sundried tomatoes, kalamata olives and feta cheese, served on a bed of wild rice $16.00 Beef

8 oz. Flat Iron Steak* Certified Black Angus Steak served with your choice of two sides” $18.00 12 oz. Ribeye* Hand-cut UDSA choice Ribeye and served with your choice of two sides $20.00

12 oz. Prime Rib* Hand-cut USDA choice Prime Rib and served with your choice of two sides $20.00 Hoagies, Paninis & Sandwiches Your choice of a side.

Chicken Parmesan Hoagie Boneless breaded chicken breast smothered in marinara sauce and topped with fresh mozzarella cheese $9.00 Meatball Hoagie Our handmade meatballs smothered in marinara sauce and topped with mozzarella cheese $9.00

Cuban Panini Ham, salami, seasoned pork tenderloin, Swiss cheese, pickles, mayonnaise and mustard on a pressed hoagie roll $9.00

Italian Hoagie Sliced ham, Genoa salami, pepperoni, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onion and topped with Italian dressing $9.00

Chicken Salad Sandwich Chicken salad served with lettuce, tomato and onion on a Kaiser roll $8.00 Hand Pattied Burger 1/2 pound fresh ground beef cooked medium, served with lettuce, tomato & onion on a Kaiser roll. Additional toppings: bacon, fried egg, marsala mushrooms, tumbleweed onions, cheddar, swiss, provolone, or fresh mozzarella cheese $1.00 extra Additional Toppings for (each) $8.00

Turkey Burger Grilled turkey burger topped with mushrooms and onions sautéed in Marsala wine, provolone cheese, bacon, lettuce tomato, onion, chipotle mayo on an onion roll $9.00 Smoked Turkey Pesto Panini Smokey turkey breast, cheddar cheese, pesto, bacon and mayo on a pressed hoagie roll $9.00

Reuben Panini In house cooked corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut and 1000 island dressing on a pressed hoagie roll $9.00 Prosciutto Panini Thinly sliced prosciutto, fresh basil, fresh mozzarella and balsamic glaze $9.00

Club Reuben 3 slices of rye bread with a traditional Reuben on bottom and turkey, bacon, swiss, on top $11.00

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich Breaded chicken filet dipped in buffalo sauce with Lettuce Tomato and blue cheese dressing on a Kaiser roll $9.00

Grilled Chicken Sandwich Grilled chicken filet with lettuce tomato and onion on a split top bun $9.00

Black Bean Walnut Burger In house made gluten free plant based 1/4lb patty served with chipotle sauce on an onion roll $9.00 Prime Rib Hoagie* Our own slow roasted prime rib, caramelized peppers and onions, baked with provolone cheese $10.00 Pizzas

Al Capone Pizza Prosciutto fresh mozzarella topped with fresh basil and balsamic glaze Small $11.00

Medium $15.00 Large $18.00

Cajun Pizza Cajun Alfredo sauce topped with Andouille sausage, shrimp, chicken & mozzarella cheese Small $15.00

mata olives, mozzarella, feta

herbs

Small $13.00

Small $10.00

Medium $17.00 Large $21.00

Beach Bread Pizza

Pepperoni, Canadian bacon, sausage, onions, bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes, green peppers and black olives

Small $13.00

Small $13.00

Medium $17.00

Medium $17.00

Buffalo Chicken Pizza

Hawaiian Pizza

Large $21.00

Large $21.00

Bleu cheese dressing with chopped breaded chicken tenders red onions mozzarella cheese and topped with spicy buffalo sauce

Canadian bacon pineapple and mandarin oranges

Small $13.00

Medium $15.00

Large $21.00

Calzone You must be hungry, this is huge! Stuffed with ricotta and mozzarella cheese $3.00 extra for Additional Toppings Each - $13.00

Medium $17.00 Taco Pizza

Topped with salsa, spicy ground beef, lettuce, tomato, onion, black olive, jalapeno, fresh mozzarella cheese and a dollop of sour cream Small $11.00

Medium $15.00 Large $18.00

The Dublin Pizza

All meat pizza including Canadian bacon, pepperoni, sausage, meatball, Andouille, grilled chicken and Bacon Small $15.00

Medium $19.00

Small $11.00

Large $18.00

Build Your Own Pizza

Toppings: Pepperoni, sausage, meatball, Canadian bacon, bacon, andouille, onion, artichoke hearts, mushroom, green pepper, green olive, black olive, spinach, tomato, pineapple, banana pepper, jalapeno and anchovies Cheese Pizza

Traditional pies! Hand tossed, topped with in-house pizza sauce and a blend of fresh mozzarella and Romano cheeses. 10” $8.00

14” $11.00

16” $13.00

Large $23.00

+ Additional Toppings 10” $1.00

Pesto sauce, spinach, onion, mushroom, feta and mozzarella cheese

+ Additional Toppings 16” $1.75

Pesto Pizza

Small $13.00

+ Additional Toppings 14” $1.50 Sides

Medium $17.00

French Fries, Pasta Salad, Green Beans, Daily Fresh Vegetable, Wild Rice, Cole Slaw, Roasted Potatoes

Chicken Alfredo Pizza

New York Cheese Cake $5.00

Large $21.00

Alfredo sauce, grilled chicken, bacon, tomato and fresh mozzarella cheese Small $13.00

Medium $17.00

Mediterranean Pizza

White Pizza

Red sauce, spinach, sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, banana peppers, kala-

Large $16.00

Stevarinos Deluxe

Garlic & oil bleu lue cheese dressing, tomato and fresh mozzarella

Medium $19.00 Large $23.00

Medium $13.00

Large $21.00

Fresh garlic, olive oil, ricotta and fresh mozzarella cheese. Topped with Italian

Desserts

Tiramisu A traditional luxurious dessert consisting of alternating layers of imported mascarpone and ladyfingers delicately soaked in espresso with a hint of liqueur $5.00 Peanut Butter Pie $6.00 Cannoli $4.00

Chocolate Cake A rich chocolate layer cake, perfect for any chocolate lover $5.00



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