Enigma 7/31/14 by Enigma Magazine

ÂŠ Photo by Dave Weinthal

BOTH SIDES NOW Few artists have displayed the staying power folk icon Judy Collins. For nearly 45 years her dulcet tones have graced our ears, and her poetic lyrics have galvanized a generation. She has released more than 40 albums to critical acclaim, accomplished gold and platinum record sales, and has had numerous Top 10 hits including her rendition of Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" and her Grammy Award-winning version of the Broadway hit "Send in the Clowns. Collins performs Friday at Variety Playhouse in Atlanta.

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Legendary singer/songwriter James Taylor brings his wares to Atlanta on Tuesday. The legendary guitarist and singer will perform at Verizon hard rocking alternative band, Sevedust comes to Track 29. The veteran rockers will unleash their fury on the crowd Friday night in Chattanooga. Wireless Amphiotheatre at Encore Park. ENIGMA

JULY 31 2014

Vengeance In The Death Chamber Americans, especially Americans who are parents, have a problem. Most of us can agree that we want to be careful about what we teach children about violence. Though particulars vary, we generally want to instill the ideas that violence is not a solution to our problems and that it is a tool only to be used in self-defense. We also try to teach our kids about justice, and about compassion.

recently observed, executions "are brutal, savage events, and nothing the state can do can mask that reality." Kozinski's

Kozinski's dissent criticized the attempt to keep our collective hands artificially clean by using lethal injection rather than a more foolproof method observation for carrying out state-sanc-

shield ourselves from the reality that we are shedding human blood," he wrote.

Just days later, Wood's execution seemingly underscored Kozinski's point. The execution lasted about two hours, compared to a more normal 10 minutes or so. Witnesses described it anywhere from the understated "tough" to the more frank "bungled" or "botched." While Arizona officials maintain that Wood was deeply sedated for the entire period and that the lengthy execution was still lawful, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer nevertheless ordered the state's Department of Corrections to examine the incident. (This tioned executions. He suggest- means the department will be ed the "more primitive" but examining itself, so I don't "foolproof" method of firing expect much to come from this squad. inquiry.)

Yet, as a society, we also take confined, disarmed, aging individuals who committed a crime many years prior assuming they were not wrongfully convicted - and make them the objects of ritualized murder. appeared in his strongly worded dissent in the case of Capital punishment is barbaric Joseph Wood. Wood, who had and gruesome by its very been convicted of a pair of nature. As Alex Kozinski, the murders in 1989, was executed chief judge of the Ninth U.S. after the court declined to "[... ] if we are willing to carry If all of this seems familiar, it Circuit Court of Appeals, give him an en banc rehearing. out executions, we should not should. Earlier this year,

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Clayton Lockett's botched execution in Oklahoma raised similar questions about the implementation of lethal injections, and of capital punishment more broadly. And this January, Dennis McGuire's execution in Ohio took 24 minutes; he appeared to gasp and convulse for about half of that time. The government makes us all accomplices through our justice system, and it makes some of us - the people who make the drugs used in executions more direct participants. Many pharmaceutical makers are draftees, not volunteers; they are doing their best to keep their products from being used to put human beings to death. It is unsurprising that some companies have withdrawn their drugs entirely or restricted shipments to the United States, and that others whose products are being used to kill people have demanded a veil of secrecy. Hence the recent attempts by states to keep their formulas and their suppliers confidential. But this opacity only makes the problem worse, as more and more of the drug cocktails used are necessarily "experimental,"

since components of time- 40 percent of California's tested combinations are no death row inmates have waited more than 19 years since longer available. their convictions. Executions On top of all this, whether a have been on hold altogether crime is punished by death is since 2006, when a different essentially a random event, federal judge ruled that the depending on the jurisdiction state's method of lethal injecin which it is committed and tion was unconstitutional. tried, the vicissitudes of defendant and jury, the quali- The fact that innocent people ty of legal representation and sometimes end up on death even the judges who happen row, exposed to an error that to be assigned to hear a trial the state can never repair, and the appeals that always gives capital punishment in follow. Its very inconsistency any form an utterly untenable of application gives it a ran- cost-benefit equation from the dom character that is the perspective of serving justice. opposite of justice. A federal The death penalty isn't really judge recently recognized as about justice at all; it is about much in California, the state vengeance. If you want to conwith more inmates awaiting firm this observation, just listen to the anguished and angry executions than any other. comments from the family U.S. District Judge Cormac members of Wood's victims. Carney said, in a ruling earlier Jeanne Brown, a relative who this month, "[... ] for the ran- was present, commented that dom few for whom execution "This man deserved it," does become a reality, they according to CNN. "And I will have languished for so shouldn't really call him a long on death row that their man," she added. execution will serve no retributive or deterrent purpose For the victims' family and and will be arbitrary." loved ones, whatever the perCalifornia has almost 750 inmates awaiting execution, but only 13 executions have taken place since 1976. Over

petrator suffered could not have been enough. Anyone with any amount of empathy can understand how and why they feel that way. But our legal system is not supposed to deliver vengeance. It is supposed to deliver justice. So it is harder to understand why a public official, such as Gov. Brewer, would think it is appropriate for the state to provide a way to realize such vengeful sentiments. The death penalty may give those hungering for revenge a taste of it, but it does not serve the wider interests of society in any meaningful way. Capital punishment doesn't make us safer. It doesn't make our justice system fairer, or more efficient, or even more just. It serves no useful purpose. Someday, a Supreme Court will conclude that from a constitutional perspective, it is beyond saving.

- Larry M. Elkin

Retro Cafe

The Best of New Wave, Post Modern Classics and Other Odd Stuff

Wednesdays at 5pm est. on wawl.org ENIGMA

JULY 31 2014

MONEY MANAGEMENT

PLANNING YOUR EXIT STRATEGY IN A LAND INVESTMENT When investing in land, your exit strategy is an important consideration. Timing is everything, particularly in how investments pay off. The investor in raw land needs to know when the asset will increase to its optimum sale price. The goal of all investing is to make money, to sell at a price higher than that at which the investment was purchased. But that simple formula fails to factor in the extremely important matter of timing: how long it takes for the investment to achieve that optimal price, as well as how the timing affects the investor. Taking a good profit in one year might be disadvantageous over taking it in another, largely due to taxation. The essential nature of timing when to invest and when to disinvest - affects all classes of investments, both those in the traditional markets (stocks, bonds, REITs) and the less traditional real asset categories (strategic land/hedge, property funds, precious metals, minerals, rarities such as antiques and fine art, etc.). Much of that has to do with the intrinsic (some might call it organic) nature of the investment and how it relates to macroeconomic dynamics, while external factors such as govern-

ment subsidies and regulations can there is a housing shortage that affect it as well. will need to be filled eventually (and the sooner the better). The A good example is renewable ener- government plays an important gy in Germany. A robust govern- albeit indirect role in that local ment sponsored program planning authorities are now given ("100,000 roofs" and the greater reign over decisions about Renewable Energy Act) fostered land use designation. In other small and medium-sized compa- words, if a local planning authorinies (as well as university research ty strongly identifies an area for in partnership with them) to devel- home building or other developop photovoltaic, wind, ment, it is far more likely to hapbiomass/waste and hydroelectric pen. electricity sources. With government supports and guarantees, To the land investor, ceding land investors had a good sense of use planning from national to local where things were going and authorities is very important to when. The timing of their disin- timing - and was long awaited. The vestment and payback carried Kate Barker recommendations in more certainty, which of course 2004 (the Barker Review of attracts more investors. Housing Supply) looked at rising housing costs and the inadequate Notably, in German investors in supply of new homes to meet the solar PVs and wind can expect the need. The Barker recommendatiming of their returns to be short- tions were factored into the moder than those in hydroelectricity. It ernised core UK planning princisimply takes more time to achieve ples, which include: a favourable return-on-investment from dam construction. • Objectively identify development needs of an area (housing, busiIn a different asset category, raw ness, etc.) land in the UK, the macroeconomics are well understood: the UK • Drive and support sustainable population grew 7 per in the economic development, which decade to 2011, even while the includes the delivery of homes, nation's home builders have not businesses and industrial properbeen increasing residential inven- ties tory to keep pace. Consequently,

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• Provide the necessary infrastructure to support new developments • Account for market signals such as land prices and housing affordability, and set strategies for allocating land in sufficient quantity to meet the needs of people and employers The well-managed land investment can meet these criteria, and as such is more likely to qualify for expedited approvals. The ability to deliver value to investors sooner rather than later is a clear advantage of this. Individuals involved in any type of investing should get solid counsel from a personal financial advisor. This investment professional should work independently of any financial instrument to holistically review your investments, goals and anticipated expenditures to determine where an asset would be timely. The less traditional real asset categories (strategic land/hedge, property funds, precious metals, minerals, rarities such as antiques and fine art, etc.). The well-managed land investment can meet these criteria, and as such is more likely to qualify for expedited approvals.

- Tyler Weiss

ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) Put some energy into getting back into shape. Listen to reason. Don't let your lover put demands on you. Get back to the comforts of cottage or home. Residential moves will be favorable, and larger quarters the most probable direction. Your lucky day this week will be Wednesday.

reevaluate your motives.

ect over carefully if you were not the only one contributing to the Your lucky day this week will be end result. Don't push your mate Friday. away. Your ideas will be well received. LEO (July 23-Aug 22) Your lucky day this week will be Hard work will not go unnoticed. Tuesday. Your added discipline will enable you to complete some of those SAGITTARIUS unfinished projects. Your interests (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) could lead you down avenues you Romance will be yours if you get never realized existed. You can out and do things in large groups. make professional decisions this You need to do something enerweek that will affect your position getic and different. Don't make promises. Put financial speculation Your lucky day this week will be with family members or friends on Monday. the back burner for now.

TAURUS (Apr. 21- May 21) Your ability to stand out in a crowd will bring you the recognition you desire. You will have to watch out for minor health problems related to stress. Don't tell VIRGO others of your plans. You can come (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) up with solutions to the problems You can come up with future responsible for inefficiencies at trends in creative fields. Your talent will be recognized. Try a barwork. becue or a day at the beach. Your Your lucky day this week will be emotional partner will push all the right buttons this week. Friday. GEMINI (May 22-June 21) Any renovation or decorating to your home should include the whole family. Your efforts won't go unnoticed; however, someone you work with may get jealous. Acceptance will be necessary. Sudden good fortune will help you cover your debts. Your lucky day this week will be Sunday. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Use discretion, especially if involved with someone from work. Try not to judge too quickly. Risks will not be profitable. It's time to

Your lucky day this week will be Saturday.

Your lucky day this week will be Friday. AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) You are best to work at home if you can. Your time, not your cash, will do a lot more for your relationship. Be careful not to sign your time or your cash away. Talk to those in a position of power about your intentions. Your lucky day this week will be Thursday. PISCES (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) Don't reveal anything about your personal life to those who may use such information against you. Don't make promises you can't keep. Your mate could get on your nerves if he or she backs you into an emotional comer or puts restrictions on your time. You can spend a passionate evening with someone you cherish if you make your plans early.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22.- Jan. 20) Be sure to get involved with those who can introduce you to unusual forms of entertainment. Be sure to take care of any minor ailments. Your lucky day this week will be Pushy people must be kept at arm's Saturday. length. Don't let relatives get the Your lucky day this week will be better of you. LIBRA Sunday. (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) You can get into self awareness groups or look into physical enhancement programs. Do things you enjoy instead of being a chameleon. Refrain from using the highway as a racetrack. You can make new connections through friends or relatives. Your lucky day this week will be Friday. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) Just be yourself. Check your projENIGMA

JULY 31 2014

Keyboard Magic I guess “War Games” was the first movie with a keyboard hero. It’s the first one I remember, at least. Matthew Broderick’s character almost starts a global thermonuclear war by accidentally hacking into the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) network. The young hacker engages the artificially intelligent computer system in a nuclear war simulation that runs amok. Fortunately, the quick-witted lad figures out how to outsmart the computer’s logic and manages to save the world in a flurry of inspired keystrokes... ...I’ve recently been bingewatching “Chuck,” an underrated action/spy/comedy/drama that ran on NBC from September of 2007 until January of 2012. Zachary Levi stars as the title character, a computer nerd

whose brain absorbs the contents of a super-secret Central Intelligence Agency/National Security Agency database after he opens an email attachment from his former college roommate. Spy stuff, action stuff and comedy ensues. Through it all, the hacker mythology runs rampant. There are numerous occasions where Chuck or one of his cohorts avert disaster by getting on a computer and typing a few lines of code or otherwise pecking our world to safety... ...I pondered these and other examples of keyboard magic this past weekend. I realized that I would not be able to help save the world from global thermonuclear war, Fulcrum terror plots, or any other disasters. I had killed my laptop keyboard. Drowned it, to be more specific. Like many avoidable tragedies,

this one seemed to unfold in slow motion. I picked up a container lid to my right and tried to pass it from my right hand to my left. I barely felt my hand hit the top of my opened water bottle. The bottle seemed to hesitate for a bit, then toppled over. H2O spilled all over the top half of my trusty Toshiba’s keyboard... ...I quickly grabbed a stack of paper towels and began mopping up as much water as I could. I had no idea how much had spilled into the keyboard, but I felt like I was doing a good job with the whole mopping up thing. Until I saw the water trickling out from the bottom of my laptop. Now is as good a time as any for me to tell you that I should have unplugged my laptop and taken the battery out as soon as I realized I’d spilled that water. While I’m at it, I might as well recommend that you keep your water bottles, coffee cups and other beverage containers out of arm’s reach while you’re working on your computer. It’s also a good idea to replace the lid on your water bottle after you take a sip. In any event, I knew that the water dripping from the bottom of my Tosh was not a good sign... ...The keys on my laptop stopped working. Not all of them. They ceased to function in order... by row... from top to bottom... as the water trickled down. I tried to reboot by hitting <control> <alt> <delete>. No luck. So I hit the power button and just turned the whole thing off. This, too, would have been a good time to disconnect the power cord and take the battery out.

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But, no... stubborn me had to try to figure out if the laptop was still working. I powered it back up. Because it’s always a good idea to keep running power through your recently baptized laptop while you see if the water has damaged it... ...By now the keyboard was pretty much useless. Fortunately, the track pad and its double-click buttons still worked fine. I found the “easy access” control and pulled up an onscreen keyboard that allowed me to type onto my screen... one... character... at... a... time. I was able to get online and Google “What to do if you spill water on your laptop.” After reading this, I gave in and pulled the power cord and battery out, opened my laptop and turned it upside down so the last of the water could drain out... …All hope of my keyboard somehow drying out and working again faded the next day. It had died in the flood. I managed to order a replacement keyboard from Amazon. It should be here in a couple of days. Dave was kind enough to let me borrow one of his several extra USB keyboards. It’s kind of weird using an external keyboard on my laptop, but I’m grateful for the loaner. I really thought I might have to type this column... one... character... at... a... time. When my new keyboard arrives, it won’t be within three feet of any open beverages. Ever. The future of the world might someday depend on my keystrokes. You never know...

– Mark Bedford

best ones are the ones that I’ve seen work on drunk girls. Here are some I’ve seen work: You’re so beautiful I can’t wait to see you in the morning; I would like to cook breakfast for you tomorrow; and my favorite, You make me believe in love again. The worst are: I’m rich; I own this club; Are you a model? ; and the worst I’ve heard I just broke up with my girlfriend because she just doesn’t get me the way you do.

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oouutt m myy lloosseerr oollddeerr bbrrootthh eerr iiss ddoow wnn lloo aadd iinn gg ppoo rrnn oonn aa ddaaiillyy bbaassiiss.. AAnn dd ttoo ttoopp tthh aatt ,, hhee’’ss uussiinn gg oouurr ddaadd’’ss lloogg iinn nn aam mee ttoo ddoo iitt .. W Whh aatt ccaann w wee ddoo aabboouutt m m yy bbrrootthheerr’’ss ppoo rrnn aaddddiiccttiioonn ?? AA nndd yyeess,, hhee’’ss nneevv eerr sseeeenn aa rreeaall lliivvee woom w maann nn aakkeedd .. EECC Dear EC Your brother has issues. Several people get addicted to internet porn. I don’t know how old your brother is but he needs to see a live woman naked. It sounds like he really needs to get laid. Take him to a strip club; get him a hooker. Do anything you can to help him. Take him to Nevada and tour the whore houses. Remember, he’s family and should receive the best help available.

Dear JR You f—ked up and got married. Deeaarr RRoo ccccoo ,, D Your sub-conscience is telling Myy eeffff eem M miinn aattee m m aallee ffrriieenn dd you, you think your life is over. sseeeem m ss ttoo aattttrraacctt w woo m meenn.. HHee’’ss Good luck. I hope you can get nneevveerr oouutt w wiitthhoouutt aa hhoott cc hhiicckk your old life back. oonn hhiiss aarrm m.. W Whh eenn II ffiirrsstt m m eett hhiim m II eevv eenn aasskkeedd hhiim m iiff hhee w waass Rocco is a common sense, tellggaayy.. H Hee ssaaiidd nn oo,, bbuutt yyoo uu cc oouulldd it-like-it-is, no-nonsense kind ffooooll m m ee.. H H oow w ddooeess aa gg uuyy lliikkee of guy offering real advice on tthhaatt aattttrraacctt aallll tt hhee cchhiicckkss?? any subject put before him. JJBB Why pay thousands of dollars on a high-priced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. Dear JB He doesn’t pose a threat to If you’d like advice from Rocco him at women. He is like a gal pal. e-mail The girls he hangs with all think goaskrocco@yahoo.com or drop he’s gay and that makes him him a line at Ask Rocco c/o exotic. Enigma P.O. Box 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401 DDeeaarr RRoo ccccoo ,, II hhaadd aa ggrreeaatt lliiffee aa ffeew w yy eeaarrss

DDeeaarr RR ooccccoo ,, YYoouu sseeeem m ttoo bbee aa m m aann ooff tthhee woorrlldd w w wiitthh aa vv aasstt aam m oouunn tt ooff kknnoow wlleeddgg ee ssoo II aam m aasskkiinn gg aa ttw woo--pp aarrtt qq uueesstt iioo nn.. FFiirrsstt w whhaatt aarree aa ccoouupp llee ooff tt hhee bbeesstt ppiicc kkuupp lliinn eess yyoo uu hhaavv ee hheeaarrdd oorr uusseedd?? SSeeccoo nnddllyy ,, w whhaatt aarree ssoo m mee ooff tthhee woorrss tt pp iicckkuu pp lliinn eess yyoo uu’’ vvee w hheeaarrdd?? MRR M Dear MR All pickup lines are shitty. The ENIGMA

aaggoo .. II oow wnn eedd m myy oow wnn bbuussiinn eessss,, hhaadd ttoonn ss ooff ffrriieenn ddss,, m maaddee lloo ttss oo ff m m oonneeyy ,, oow wnneedd m myy oo w wnn hh oouussee aanndd hh aadd tt w woo ccaarrss.. II m m eett tthhiiss woom w m aann w whhoo II ffeellll iinn lloovv ee w wiitt hh aanndd gg oott m maarrrriieedd.. SS iinn ccee tthhaatt tt iim m ee II hhaavv ee lloosstt m myy bbuussiinneessss,, ffiilleedd bb aannkkrr uupptt ccyy aann dd m myy ff rriieenndd ss tthh iinn kk II’’ m m aann iiddiioo tt – –w whh eenn aann dd iiff tthh eeyy ccaallll aannyy m m oorree.. W W hhaatt hh aapp -ppeenn eedd?? JJRR

JULY 31 2014

BRANDON, Alberta (UPI) - A Canadian woman who attempted to dine-and-dash was arrested after she was forced to return to the scene of the crime because she left her purse behind. Kyla Anne MacMillan had to return to an Alberta pub after skipping out on a $160 bar tab that she had rung up with two female friends. After bailing on the bill, MacMillan returned to the bar because she had left her purse

containing her medication. MacMillan’s hefty tab included a pitcher of beer, chicken wings, nachos and 23 shots. According to the tab, the ladies slugged down six shots of tequila, 10 B52s, six Dirty Hookers and one vodka shooter, the Star reported. She initially claimed that she had simply stepped outside to use an ATM, but that excuse didn’t fly. The suspect pleaded guilty to fraudulently obtaining food and was fined $325, in addition to being ordered to pay the

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bill. MacMillan is unemployed and only had $5.35 on her during her court appearance. GM of the Myrtle Beach Pelicans, will undergo the examination MYRTLE BEACH, Fla. (UPI) - In during the Pelicans game on order to help promote cancer Thursday on one condition. He awareness, a minor league gen- wants the Facebook page of 10eral manager has agreed to get a year-old Fallon Emery, a local prostate exam during the sev- girl who has brain cancer, to get enth-inning stretch of an upcom- 10,000 “likes” before the game. ing game. To make things even The page had over 8,800 likes as more interesting, Andy Milovich of Monday morning. The will have the exam performed Pelicans are the Single-A affiliate while he is singing “Take Me Out of the Texas Rangers. “If what we To The Ball Game.” Milovich, the do saves a kid from having to

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lose his or her father because they get checked out, this will be worth it,” Milovich told ESPN. In addition to the stunt, the club will also be handing out 1,000 foam fingers with blue ribbons on them. “It’s not like I would be getting it at home plate,” Milovich said. “I’ll likely do it from our radio booth and the fans will see me from the shoulder up.” CANADA - About 10 days into a road trip to Alaska, an Iowa Boy Scout troop reached the Canadian border into Alaska. They were stopped, like they normally would be, when Troop Leader Jim Fox said something went bad. Way bad. Fox said one of the Scouts took a picture of a border official, which spurred agents to detain everyone in that van and search them and their belongings. “The agent immediately confiscated his camera, informed him he would be arrested, fined possibly $10,000 and 10 years in prison,” Fox said. Not wanting things to escalate, Fox said he did not complain. Another of the Scouts was taking luggage from the top of a van to be searched when something startling happened. “He hears a snap of a holster, turns around, and here’s this agent, both hands on a loaded pistol, pointing at the young man’s head,” Fox

explained. Because when it comes to pre-teens from Iowa wearing shorts and neckerchiefs, you can’t be too careful. Ultimately no one was hurt or arrested, and after about four hours of searching and questioning they were allowed to continue their trip into Alaska. With the hot bed of international smuggling that The Boy Scouts has become, maybe they need a few more handguns pointed in their faces. If only one Scout is scared straight and off the crooked path of loyalty, helpfulness, friendliness, obedience, bravery, cleanliness, and reverence, it would be worth it. BREWSTER, Wash. (UPI) - It sounds counterintuitive, but a Washington man was able to rely on his instincts and survive a wildfire by running straight at it. When wildfires began rapidly approaching his Brewster home, Mark Nelson was barely able to grab his cat, Fluffy, and get out the door before the flames arrived. He got in his car and began driving, but quickly had to abandon his van after it caught on fire. Unable to get away from the blaze, Nelson decided to go to it instead. “I had to get behind the fire,” Nelson told KING TV. “At one point, I said, ‘This is it.’ But I said, ‘Hell, no ... gotta keep on moving.’” The 60-year-old

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grabbed Fluffy and ran at the flames before dropping to the ground at the last second to allow them to pass over him. Nelson lost his home, but he is OK and Fluffy is as well. He did sustain burns on his hand, side and legs. DENVER (UPI) - A Colorado man made it very easy for law enforcement officials to earn their paychecks after allegedly robbing a bank while wearing a shirt with his name on it. According to police, John David Martinez went to a Wells Fargo branch in Denver wearing a personalized polo shirt bearing his name. The suspect approached a teller and said, “This is a robbery, give me the money.” To make it even easier for police, the suspect also allegedly drove his own Honda to the bank so investigators were able to use the license plate to track down Martinez. Officers showed his DMV photo to a bank employee. “That’s him. He’s the one who robbed the bank this morning,” the employee said, the Denver Channel reported. After an investigation that took all of five hours, Martinez was arrested. While he was in custody, Martinez reportedly said he had “told his wife that he had borrowed the money and did not tell her that he had robbed the

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bank.” The 68-year-old was booked into jail in Denver on investigation of felony robbery involving $20,000 or more. MALAYSIA - In a display of surprising ingenuity for New Jersey, or, Malaysia rather, a 16-year-old girl and an accomplice used blowpipes to sedate several cows and then stuff them in the back seat of their car. Deputy Supt Mohd Kamal Zainal said the police caught the girl and her 29year-old accomplice, who was driving a Proton Iswara (whatever that is), in the Malaysian state of Kelantan. “The man bolted into a house but we managed to catch him. We found two cows, with their legs tied, in the back seat of the car,” said DSP Mohd Kamal. “Not long after that, a Proton Wira turned up and we nabbed the 25-year-old driver. There were three sedated cows in the car.” That in itself is a pretty bizarre not to mention impressive feat. Go to your web browser and search images for Proton Wira, then try to imagine stuffing 3 sedated cows into the back of one by hand. Police found several plastic containers of crystals, believed to be drugs, four modified syringes, a bottle of chemicals believed to be sedatives and two steel pipes modified to be blowpipes.

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This week’s calendar covers events from Thursday, July 31, through Wednesday, August 6. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

TT H HU U RRSSD DA AYY JJ uullyy 33 11 BBU UD D’’ SS (Chattanooga) DJ Hammer TTRREE M MO ON NTT TT A AVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Songwriters Showcase CCA AM M PP H HO OU USSEE (Chattanooga) Open Mic ARRII’’SS H A HA ARRBBO ORR LLIIG GH H TT SS (Chattanooga) Keyz Brown SSIIG GN NA ALL M MO OU UN N TT A AIIN N PPLLA AYY H HO OU USS EE (Signal Mtn., TN) “The King And I” RRH HYY TT H HM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Emily Bonn & the Vivants, Rye Baby, Megan Saunders RRIIVVEERRFFRRO ON NTT PPA ARRK K (Nashville) Hard Working Americans, The London Souls, Modoc, Turbo Fruits FFO OO OBBA ARRTTO OO O (Nashville) Machines Are People Too, Winter Sounds

FFRRII D DA AYY A Auu gguusstt 11 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H (Chattanooga) Craig Shoemaker RRA AW W (Chattanooga) DJ Reggie Reg RRH HTT H HYY M M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Machines Are People Too, Electric Son TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Sevendust TTEE N NN N EESSSSEE EE PPEE RRFFO O RRM MIIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) The Turtles feat. Flo & Eddie, Chuck Negron, Mark Farner, Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels, Gary Lewis & the Playboys RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Steely Dan MEE RRCC YY LLO M OU UN NG G EE (Nashville) Funky Meters MA M ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD D EE M MU USSIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Michael Franti, SOJA, Brett Dennen, Trevor Hall ATTLL A A AN NTT A A BBO OTT A AN NII CCA ALL G GA ARRD DEE N N (Atlanta) Gavin DeGraw, Matt Nathanson, Andrew McMahon VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Judy Collins IIM MPPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CCLL U UBB (Atlanta) John Lovitz

SSA ATT U URRD DA AYY A Auugguu sstt 22 TTH H EE CCO OM MEED D YY CCA ATT CC H H (Chattanooga) Craig Shoemaker RRH HYY TT H HM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Rick Rushing & the Blues Strangers, Ryan Oyer Band, Gunpowder

ENIGMA

& Pearls BBA ARRTT ’’ SS LLAAK KEE SSH HO O RREE (Chattanooga) DJ E RRA AW W (Chattanooga) DJ Reggie Reg GEEM G M TT H HEE AATTRREE (Calhoun, GA) Lorrie Morgan HAARRRRAAH H H’’ SS CC H HEE RRO OK KEE EE CC AASSIIN NO O (Cherokee) Jennifer Nettles, Brandy Clark TTH H EE SSH H EED D (Maryville) Shooter Jennings, Waymore’s Outlaws, Cathouse Prophets VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESS SS TT H HEEAA TTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Sugar Ray, Blues Traveler, Smash Mouth, Uncle Kracker BBU U CCK KH H EEAAD D TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Passenger, Stu Larsen RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Steely Dan HAARRRRAAH H H’’ SS CC H HEE RRO OK KEE EE CC AASSIIN NO O (Cherokee) Jennifer Nettles, Brandy Clark WO W ORRK KPPLLAAYY TT H HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Shelby Lynne CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Chris Botti, Will Downing SSO OM M EEW WH H EERREE O ON N TTH H EE LL AAK KEE (Guntersville, AL) Corey Smith TTH H EE W WO OO OD D SS AATT FFO ON NTT AAN NEE LL (Whites Creek) Michael Franti, SOJA, Brett Dennen, Trevor Hall

SSU UN ND DA AYY A Auu gguuss tt 33 SSK KYYZZ O OO O (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Phish MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Passenger, Stu Larsen TTIIN N RRO OO O FF (Nashville) Gin Blossoms D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSSLLEE YY (Nashville) Trigger Hippy August 3 ALLAABBAA M A MAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Blue Hawaii

MO M ON ND DA AYY A Auugguu sstt 44 RRAAW W (Chattanooga) DJ Spicolli TTRREE M MO ON N TT TTAAVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Trivia Night TTH H EE O O FFFFIICC EE (Chattanooga) SpeakEasy FFO OXX && H HO OU UN ND D (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter ON O NEE --EE LLEEVVEEN N (Lafayette) CSA Writers Night

TTU U EESSD DA AYY A Auu gguusstt 55 RRAAW W (Chattanooga) DJ Spicolli TTRREE M MO ON N TT TTAAVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Open Mic w/ Mike McDade SSO OU UTT H H SSIID DEE TT AAVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Troy Underwood RRH H TT H HYY M M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Uptown Big Band VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) James Taylor ZZYYD D EECC O O (Birmingham) Hank 3

JULY 31 2014

RRAAW W (Chattanooga) Open Jam w/ Jonathan Wimpee and friends LLA ASS M MAARRG G AARRII TTAA’’ SS (Chattanooga) Priscilla & Little Rickee ARRII’’ SS H A H AARRBBO O RR LLIIG GH HTT SS (Chattanooga) Keyz Brown TT H HEE TT AAVVEE RRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims SSA AM MM MYY TT ’’SS (Huntsville) Blackstone Cherry, We As Human, Kyng IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Filter, Helmet, Local H August 6

UPPCC O U OM M IIN NG G EEVVEEN NTTSS TT EERRM M IIN NAALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) Peter Murphy August 7 TT EEN NN NEE SSSSEEEE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Chris Botti August 7 BBRRIID DG GEESS TTO ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Miley Cyrus August 7 M IILLLLEERR PPLL AAZZAA (Chattanooga) The London M Souls, Jordan Hallquist & the Outfit August 8 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Nine Inch Nails, Soundgarden August 8 H EEAAVVEEN H N AATT TT H HEE M MAASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) Genitoturers August 8 M AAIIN M N SSTT RREEEE TT (Albertville, AL) The Bellamy Brothers August 8 PPRRO O PPEETT AARREEN N AA (Huntsville) Charlie Wilson August 8 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Rodrigo y Gabriela August 8 M AAIIN M N SSTT RREEEE TT (Albertville, AL) Jo Dee Messina, Gin Blossoms August 9 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) David Gray August 9 PPU U RRG G AATT O ORRYY AATT TT H HEE M MA ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD D EE (Atlanta) Miniature Tigers, The Griswolds August 9 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) WAR, Bootsy Collins, Con Funk Shun, Cherrelle, The Bar Kays August 9 H IIG H GH HW WAATT TT (Nashville) Jolie Holland August 10 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Aziz Ansari, Brett Morin, Chris Hadwick, Hannibal Buress, Jeffery Ross, Louis CK, Marc Maron, Reggie Watts, Brody Stevens August 10 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Keyshia Cole, Adrian Marcel August 10 CC H HAASS TTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) David Gray August 12 ZZ YYD D EECC O O (Birmingham) Blessthefall, Chiodos, I Killed the Prom Queen, Capture the Crown August 12 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Queensryche August 12 EE XXIITT// IIN N (Nashville) Filter, Helmet, Local H August 12 IIN N TTEE RRN NAATT IIO ON NAALL (Knoxville) Blessthefall, Chiodos, I Killed the Prom Queen, Capture the Crown August 13 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Toadies August 13 H EEAAVVEEN H N AATT TT H HEE M MAASSQ QU UEE RRA AD D EE (Atlanta) TPain, Snootie Wild, Bando Jonez, Rich Kidz, Mykell Vaughn August 13 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Slightly Stoopid, Stephen Marley, G. Love & Special Sauce August 14 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Dark Star

Orchestra August 14 TT H HEE EEAARRLL (Atlanta) Jolie Holland August 14 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Slightly Stoopid, Stephen Marley, G. Love & Special Sauce August 14 TT H HEE EEN ND D (Nashville) The Casket Girls August 14 MEE RRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Amanda Shires August 14 BBO OTT TT LLEETT RREEEE (Birmingham) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Stagnant Pools August 14 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZ AA (Chattanooga) Clap Your M Hands Ssay Yeah, SoCo August 15 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Abbey Road Live August 15 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Johnny Fritz, The Bohannons August 15 O AAK O KM MO OU UN NTT AAIIN N AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Pelham, AL) Motley Crue, Alice Cooper August 15 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) The Lacs August 15 BBO OTT TT LLEETT RREEEE (Birmingham) The Casket Girls August 15 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Gipsey Kings August 15 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Nashville Pussy, Fifth On the Floor August 15 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREELLEE SSSS AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Motley Crue, Alice Cooper August 16 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Dave Koz, Mindi Abair, Gerald Albright, Richard Elliot August 16 TT H HEE W WO OO OD DSS AATT FFO ON N TT AAN NEELL (Whites Creek) Boston August 16 MEE RRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Futurebirds August 16 33RRD D && LLIIN ND D SSLLEEYY (Nashville) Gabe Dixon August 16 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE AATT RREE (Knoxville) Anjelah Johnson August 16 TT H HEE N NIICC K K (Birmingham) Nashville Pussy, Fifth On the Floor August 16 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Panic! At the Disco, Walk the Moon, Youngblood Hawke August 17 PPA ARRK K TT AAVVEERRN N (Atlanta) Nora Jane Strothers August 17 CC A AN NN N EERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) T-Pain, Snootie Wild, Bando Jonez, Rich Kidz, Mykell Vaughn August 17 RRO OCC K KEE TTO OW WN N (Nashville) Set It Off, Our Last Night, Heartists, Stages And Stereos August 17 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Tori Amos August 18 CC EEN NTT EE RR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) X August 18 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Chevelle August 19 LLPP FFII EELLD D (Nashville) One Direction August 19 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) OneRepublic August 19 CC O OBBBB EE N NEERRG G YY PPEERRFFO O RRM MIIN NG G AARRTT SS CC EEN N TT EERR (Atlanta) Tori Amos August 19 MAASS Q M QU UEE RRAAD DEE M MU USS IICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) The Offspring, Bad Religion, Pennywise August 20 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Chevelle August 20 TT EEN NN NEESS SSEEEE TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) needtobreathe, The Oh Hellos August 21 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE AATT RREE (Knoxville) OMG Music Fest August 21 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZ AA (Chattanooga) Johnnyswim, M Decibella August 22 FFO O XX TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Michael McDonald,

Toto August 22 CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Boyz II Men, En Vogue August 22 BBJJCC CC CC O ON NCC EERRTT H HA ALL LL (Birmingham) Crosby, Stills and Nash August 22 WIILLD W DH HO O RRSS EE SSA ALLO OO ON N (Nashville) Tonic August 22 SSO OU U TTH H EERRN N BBRREEW WEE RRSS FFEE SSTTII VVA ALL (Chattanooga) Gov’t Mule August 23 OA O AK KM MO OU UN NTT A AIIN NA AM MPPH H IITTH H EEA ATT RREE (Pelham) Keith Urban, Jerrod Niemann, Brett Eldridge August 23 HA 1122TTH AVVEEN NU UEE N NO O RRTTH H (Nashville) Big Gigantic, Diplo, Griz, Zed’s Dead August 23 TTH H EE W WO OO OD DSS A ATT FF O ON N TTA AN N EELL (Whites Creek) Shovels & Rope, Old Crow Medicine Show August 23 FFO OU URR PPO OII N NTT SS SSH H EERRA ATT O ON N (Brentwood, TN) Kellie Pickler August 23 TTEE N NN N EESSSSEE EE TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Knoxville) Corey Smith August 23 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Seven Handle Circus August 23 SSO OU U TTH H EERRN N BBRREEW WEE RRSS FFEE SSTTII VVA ALL (Chattanooga) Galactic, Corey Glover, Robert Randolph & the Family Band, St. Paul & the Broken Bones, North Mississippi Allstars, Yarn August 24 CCH HA ASSTT A AIIN N PPA ARRK K ((Atlanta) Chicago, REO Speedwagon August 24 VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Keith Urban, Jerrod Niemann, Brett Eldridge August 24 WO W ORRK KPPLLA AYY TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Birmingham) “OMG Music Fest” August 24 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) Bear In Heaven August 24 RRO OCC K KEETT O OW WN N (Nashville) “OMG Music Fest” August 25 MEE RRCC YY LLO M OU UN NG G EE (Nashville) Charm City Devils August 25 WO W OO OD DRRU U FFFF A ARRTT SS CC EEN N TT EERR (Atlanta) Paula Deen August 26 TTEE N NN N EESSSSEE EE TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Knoxville) Lyle Lovett August 26 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jeff Bridges & the Abiders August 26 ALLYY SS RRO A OBBIIN N SSO ON N SSTT EEPPH H EEN N SS PPEERRFF O ORRM MII N NG G ARRTTSS CCEE N A NTT EERR (Birmingham) G. Love & Special Sauce, Keb’ Mo’ August 26 AN A ND D RREEW W JJ A ACCK KSS O ON NH HA ALLLL (Nashville) Paula Deen August 27 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jeff Bridges & the Abiders August 27 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Jay Leno August 27 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Aerosmith, Slash August 28 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) OMG Music Fest August 28 HIIG H GH HW WA ATTTT (Nashville) Rocco DeLuca August 28 MIILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZA A (Chattanooga) Gabe Dixon, Stereo Dig August 29 MEE M M MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Chattanooga) Casting Crowns August 29 ATTLL A A AN NTT A A BBO OTT A AN NII CCA ALL G GA ARRD DEE N N (Atlanta) Lyle Lovett August 29 TTH H EE LL O OFFTT (Atlanta) Kudzu Kings, The Sundogs August 29 VVII N NYY LL (Atlanta) The Features August 29 ZZYY D DEECC O O (Birmingham) Kevin Gates, Chevy Woods August 30 TTH H EE LL O OFFTT (Atlanta) Polyphonic Spree August 30

ENIGMA

MAASSQ M QU UEERRAAD D EE M MU USSIICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Infected Mushroom, Beats Antique August 30 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (( Atlanta) Jennifer Nettles August 31 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) Drake, Lil’ Wayne August 31 BBO OU UTT W WEELL LL AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Birmingham) Austin Mahone, Fifth Harmony, Shawn Mendes, Alex Angelo September 2 IIM MPPRRO OVV CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB (Atlanta) Norm McDonald September 4 PPH H IILLIIPPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) “Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend” September 5 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) August Alsina September 5 IIM MPPRRO OVV CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB (Atlanta) Norm McDonald September 5 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Maze feat. Frankie Beverly, Patti LaBelle, Ruben Studdard September 5 CCH H EERRO OK K EEEE FFAARRM MSS (LaFayette, GA) The Black Lips September 6 FFRREED D RRIICCK K BBRRO OW WN N JJRR.. AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Bret Michaels September 6 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) ZZ Top, Jeff Beck September 6 WO W OLLFF CCRREE EEK K AA M MPPH HIITT H H EEAATTRE (Atlanta) Lyfe Jennings September 6 PPH H IILLIIPPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) “Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend” Iyania Vanzant, Elizabeth Gilbert, Rob Bell September 6 IIM MPPRRO OVV CC O OM M EED D YY CCLLU U BB (Atlanta) Norm McDonald September 6 TTH H EE W WO OO OD D SS AATT FFO ON NTT EEN N EELL (Whites Creek) Austin Mahone, Fifth Harmony, Shawn Mendes September 6 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Jack Johnson, Jack Gilisky September 6 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEEAATT RREE AATT EEN NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Austin Mahone, Fifth Harmony, Shawn Mendes September 7 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Jack Johnson, Jack Gilinsky September 7 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) How To Dress Well September 8 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) Kings of Leon September 9 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Pinback, Tera Melos September 9 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jason Mraz, Raining Jane September 9 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Clutch September 9 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) 3 Doors Down, Acousitc – Songs From the Attic September 10 OAAK O KM MO OU UN NTT AAIIN N AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Pelham, AL) Kings of Leon September 10 TTEE N NN NEE SSSSEE EE TT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Michael McDonald September 10 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Atlanta) Rascal Flatts, Sheryl Crow, Glorianna September 11 TTH H EE M M EELLTT IIN NG G PPO O IIN NTT (Athens, GA) Johnny Winter September 11 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Relient K September 11 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Tedeschi Trucks, John Hiatt September 12 ARREE N A NAA @ @G GW WIIN NN NEE TTTT CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Ed Sheeran September 12 EED DD D IIEE’’ SS AATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Jackopierce September 12 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) The Four Tops September 12

JULY 31 2014

JULY 24-27

DALE JONES

DALE'S MACHINE GUN STYLE DELIVERY AND ANIMATED FACIALS COMBINED WITH QUICK IMPROVISATIONS AND NON-STOP PHYSICAL COMEDY HAS LED TO TV APPEARANCES ON FOX, THE COMEDY NETWORK IN CANADA AND IN THE MOVIE "OUT OF TIME" WITH DENZEL WASHINGTON. HE MADE IT TO THE FINAL 18 ON NBC'S LAST COMIC STANDING. DALE HAS BECOME A FAVORITE HERE AT THE COMEDY CATCH AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS HIGH ENERGY SHOW!

AUGUST 1 & 2

CRAIG SHOEMAKER

CRAIG SHOEMAKER IS A MODERN DAY RENAISSANCE MAN. BEST KNOWN FOR HIS ENGAGING, RELATABLE STANDUP AND HIS ICONIC BARITONE-VOICED CHARACTER THE LOVEMASTER, CRAIG IS FAR MORE THAN THE JOKES HE TELLS ON STAGE. HE HAS SHOT MULTIPLE STAND-UP SPECIALS FOR TV, STARRED IN NUMEROUS FILMS, WRITTEN TWO CHILDREN’S BOOKS, PERFORMED FOR FOUR US PRESIDENTS, INVENTED ON HOLD ADVERTISING, AND HAS HIS DOCTORATE AND IS AN ORDAINED MINISTER.

SEPTEMBER 5-7

ROB SCHNEIDER

HIS COMBINATION OF SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOR AND GOOFBALL ANTICS EARNED HIM RAVE REVIEWS, AND HE WAS SOON OPENING FOR THE LIKES OF JAY LENO AND JERRY SEINFELD. SCHNEIDER GOT HIS BIG BREAK IN 1990, WHEN SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PRODUCER LORNE MICHAELS HIRED HIM ON AS A WRITER FOR THE SHOW. SOON, HE WAS PERFORMING HIS OWN MATERIAL AND WAS A CAST REGULAR UNTIL 1994 WHEN HE LEFT TO PURSUE HIS FILM CAREER.

FOR UPDATES, DISCOUNTS AND FREE TICKETS, TEXT COMEDYCATCH TO 99000

3223 BRAINERD RD.423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM

RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jerrod Niemann September 12 TT H HO OM MPPSSO ON N--BBO O LLIIN NG G AARREEN N AA (Knoxville) Jason Aldean, Florida Georgia Line, Tyler Farr September 12 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Relient K September 13 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Charlie Wilson September 13 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Ed Sheeran September 13 RRH HYY TT H HM M &&BBRREEW WSS (Chattanooga) The Floozies September 14 TT H HEE W WO OO OD DSS AATT FFO ON N TT AAN NEELL (Whites Creek) Bob Weir & Ratdog, The Chris Robinson Brotherhood September 14 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Johnny Mathis September 14 TT RRA ACCK K 22 99 (Chattanooga) Justin Townes Earle, American Aquarium September 15 CC A AN NN N EERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) Nick Carter & Jordan Knight September 15 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Leftover Salmon September 15 HEE AAVVEEN H N AATT TTH H EE M M AASSQ QU UEERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) The Pretty Reckless, Adelita’s Way September 15 CC A AN NN N EERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) The Afghan Whigs September 16 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Cibo Matto, Nels Cline September 16 ALLAABBAAM A MAA TTH H EEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Paula Deen September 16 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Lily Allen September 17 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Erasure September 17 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Parker Millsap September 17 TT U USSCC AALLO OO OSSAA AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Tuscaloosa) Darius Rucker, Chase Rice September 18 IIM M PPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CC LLU UBB (Atlanta) Tom Arnold September 18 MEE RRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Parker Millsap September 18 CC IITT YY W WII N NEERRYY N N AASSH HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Rodney Crowell, Laura Cantrell, Joe Henry, Grant

Lee Philips, Robyn Hitchcock September 18 CCO OU UN N TTRRYY TT O ON N IITT EE TT H HEE A ATT RREE (Pigeon Forge) Bobby Bare, John Anderson, Daryl Worley September 19 ATTLL A A AN NTT A A BBO OTT A AN NII CCA ALL G GA ARRD DEE N N (Atlanta) Keb’ Mo’, Mavis Staples September 19 CCEE N NTT EERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) The Afghan Whigs September 19 TTH H EE LL O OFFTT (Atlanta) Hawthorne Heights, The Red Jumpsuit Aparatus, New Empire, Famous Last Words, The Ongoing Concept, Everybody Run September 19 IIM MPPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CCLL U UBB (Atlanta) Tom Arnold September 19 TTH H EE EE A ARRLL (Atlanta) Lydia Loveless September 19 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) Delta Spirit September 19 PPIIEED DM MO ON N TT PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Music Midtown September 19 SSM MIITT H H ’’SS O O LLD D EE BBA ARR (Atlanta) Dale Watson September 19 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Twenty One Pilots September 19 BBJJCC CC CC O ON NCC EERRTT H HA ALL LL (Birmingham) Mike Epps September 19 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Allison Moorer, Ethan Johns, Josh Ritter, Sarah Jamosz, Peter Bradley Adams September 19 D && LLII N 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) Suzy Boggus September 19 IIM MPPRRO O VV CCO OM MEE D DYY CCLL U UBB (Atlanta) Tom Arnold September 20 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Susan Werner September 20 PPIIEED DM MO ON N TT PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Music Midtown September 20 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) Tennis, Pure Bathing Culture September 20 RRIIVVEERRFFRRO ON NTT PPA ARRK K (Nashville) The Avett Brothers September 20 MA M ARRA ATT H HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Twenty One Pilots September 21 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) The Wood

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Brothers September 21 GRRAAN G ND DO OLL EE O O PPRRYY H HO OU U SSEE (Nashville) Lorde September 22 TTH H EE SSTT AAN ND DAARRD D (Knoxville) The Felice Brothers September 22 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Janoskians, Blush September 22 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Jimmy Eat World October 23 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Snarky Puppy, Banda Magda September 23 CCEE N NTT EERR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) Theory of A Deadman September 23 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTT O ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Steve Winwood September 23 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSSLLEE YY (Nashville) Terry Bozio September 24 CCO O BBBB EEN NEE RRG GYY PPEE RRFF O ORRM M IIN NG G AARRTT SS CC EEN NTT EERR (Atlanta) Billy Cox, Buddy Guy, Jonny Lang, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Eric Johnson, Rich Robinson, Doyle Bramhall II, Chris Layton, , Eric Gates, Noah Hunt, Scott Nelson, Tim Austin, Henri Brown September 24 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Rubblebucket, Body Language September 24 JJEEM M IISSO ON N CC O ON N CCEE RRTT H H AALLLL (Birmingham) Billy Cox, Buddy Guy, Jonny Lang, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Eric Johnson, Rich Robinson, Doyle Bramhall II, Chris Layton, , Eric Gates, Noah Hunt, Scott Nelson, Tim Austin, Henri Brown September 25 ATTLLAAN A N TTAA M MO O TTO O RR SSPPEEEE D DW WAAYY (Hampton) A Flock of Seagulls September 26 CCH H AATTTT AAH HO OO O CCIIEE H HII LLLLSS (Fairburn, GA) “TomorrowWorld” September 26 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Ok Go September 26 CCEE N NTT EEN NN NIIAALL O O LLYY M MPPIICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Outkast September 26 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Nick Swardson September 26 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Randy Rogers Band September 26 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Bobby

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Bare, Bobby Bare Jr. September 26 TT H HEE EEAARRLL (Atlanta) The Dream Syndicate September 27 552299 (Atlanta) Shonen Knife September 27 CC EEN N TTEE N NN N IIAALL O O LLYYM M PPIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Outkast, Kid Cudi, Childish Gambino September 27 CC H HAATT TT AAH HO OO OCC IIEE H HIILLLL SS (Fairburn, GA) “TomorrowWorld” September 27 M EERRCC YY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Ok Go September 27 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) St. Paul & the Broken Bones September 28 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Bonobo, FattyDl September 28 CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY N N AASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) Marc Broussard, Andy Suzuki & the Method, Mingo Fishtrap September 28 BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Airborne Toxic Event September 28 CC O OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) The Head and the Heart September 28 CC EEN N TTEE N NN N IIAALL O O LLYYM M PPIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Outkast September 28 CC H HAATT TT AAH HO OO OCC IIEE H HIILLLL SS (Fairburn, GA) “TomorrowWorld” September 28 BBO O TTTT LLEETT RREEEE (Birmingham) J. Mascis September 30 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Lake Street Drive, Lucius September 30 G EEO G O RRG GIIAA D DO OM M EE (Atlanta) One Direction October 1 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Belle & Sebastian October 1 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Ian Anderson October 1 SSCC H H EERRM MEE RRH HO O RRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CCEE N NTT EERR (Nashville) Yo-Yo Ma October 1 EE XXIITT// IIN N (Nashville) J. Mascis October 1 SSM M IITT H H’’ SS O OLL D DEE BBAARR (Atlanta) Glenn Tilbrook October 2 EE D DD DII EE’’ SS AATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Meiko October 2 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Broken Bells, Hamilton Leithauser October 2 TT EERRM M IIN NAALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) J. Mascis October 3 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Asia October 3 CC EEN N TTEE RR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) Allen Stone October 4 CC O OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Gino Vanelli October 4 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND D SSLLEE YY (Nashville) Allen Stone October 5 FF RRA AN NK KLLIIN N TT H HEEAATT RREE (Franklin) Asia October 5 TT EERRM M IIN NAALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) Polica October 6 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Sam Smith October 6 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Coheed & Cambria October 7 BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) The Gaslight Anthem, Against Me! October 7 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Sam Smith October 7 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Citizen Cope October 7 BBO O TTTT LLEETT RREEEE (Birmingham) Polica October 7 WAARR M W MEEM MO ORRIIAALL AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Erasure October 8 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) The Gaslight Anthem, Against Me! October 8 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Lykke Li October

8 BBU UCC K KH HEE AAD D TT H H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) Chvrches October 8 BBIIJJO OU U TT H HEE AATT RREE (Knoxville) Shovels & Rope, John Fullbright October 8 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) AFI, Nostalgia October 9 VVA AN ND D EERRBBIILLTT (Nashville) Ludacris, Iggy Azalra October 9 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Citizen Cope October 9 VVO ON N BBRRAAU UN N CCEE N NTT EERR (Huntsville) Widespread Panic October 10 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Casting Crowns, Mandisa, Sidewalk Prophets October 10 ARREEN A N AA @ @G GW WIIN NN N EETT TT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Five Finger Death Punch, Volbeat, Hellyeah, Nuthing More October 11 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREELLEE SSSS AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Widespread Panic October 11 LLA AK KEE VVII EEW WD D IISSTT RRIICCTT (Birmingham) Drive By Truckers, Girl Talk, Lucero, Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors, Houndmouth, Wild Cub, The Apache Relay, Jamestown Revival, Lee Bains III & the Glory Files, Paul McDonald, The Kansas Bible Company October 11 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Miranda Sings October 12 KN K NO OXXVVIILLLLEE CCO O LLIISSEE IIU UM M (Knoxville) Five Finger Death Punch, Volbeat, Hellyeah, Nuthing More October 12 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Rodriqo y Gabrilea October 12 TT H HEE M MAASSQ QU UEE RRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Butcher Babies, Anti-Mortem October 14 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Chromeo, Wave Racer October 14 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Motley Crue, Alice Cooper October 15 CC A AN NN N EERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) Dan + Shay October 15 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Of Montreal October 15

ALLA A ABBA AM MA A TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Birmingham) Straight No Chaser October 15 TTII VVO O LLII TT H HEE A ATT RREE (Chattanooga) Kip Moore, Charlie Worsham October 16 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) The War On Drugs October 16 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Paul McCartney October 16 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY (Nashville) Sandra Bernhard October 17 CCA AN NN NEE RRYY BBA ALLLL RRO OO OM M (Nashville) Boyce Avenue October 17 WH W HO OTT EELL-- M MIID DTT O OW WN N (Atlanta) Sandra Bernhardt October 18 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Jason Isbell October 18 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Boyce Avenue October 18 HA H ARRRRA AH H ’’SS CCH H EERRO OK KEEEE CCA ASS IIN NO O (Cherokee) George Lopez October 18 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) REO Speedwagon October 19 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Julian Casablancas October 20 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Macy Gray October 20 MA M ARRA ATT H HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Julian Casablancas October 21 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Macy Gray October 21 ARREEN A NA A@ @G GW W IIN NN N EETT TT CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Enrique Igelisias, Pitbull October 22 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Andy McKee October 22 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Los Lobos October 22 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jason Isbell, Amanda Shires October 24 HEE A H AVVEE N NA ATT TT H H EE M MA ASSQ QU U EERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Bombay Bicycle Club, Milo Greene October 24 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Yonder Mountain String Band October 24 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jason Isbell, St. Paul & the Broken Bones October

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25 RRII A ALLTTO O CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Los Lobos October 25 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Of Montreal, Pillar Point October 25 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Paul Thorn October 25 112200 TTA AVVEE RRN N (Marietta, GA) Shenandoah October 25 JJA AM MEE SS K K.. PPO O LLK K TT H HEE AATTRREE (Nashville) Richard Marx October 25 FFRRA AN NK KLLII N N TT H HEE AATTRREE (Franklin, TN) NRBQ October 25 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jason Isbell, Sturgill Simpson October 26 SSYYM M PPH HO ON NYY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Susan Boyle October 26 ARREE N A NAA @ @G GW WIIN NN NEE TTTT CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Judas Priest, Steel Panther October 28 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Julian Casablancas October 28 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) First Aid Kit October 29 HIIG H GH HW WAATT TT (Nashville) Rubblebucket October 29 TTIIVVO O LLII TT H HEE AATTRREE (Chattanooga) Kevin James October 30 TTH HO OM M PPSSO ON N --BBO OLLII N NG G AARREEN NAA (Knoxville) Eric Church, Dwight Yoakum, Halestorm October 30 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Moon Taxi October 31 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) First Aid Kit November 1 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Martina McBride November 1 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Mike Doughty November 1 BBU U CCK KH H EEAAD D TT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Death From Above 1979 November 3 CCA AN NN NEERRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) The New Pornographers, The Pains of Being Pure At heart November 4

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MA M ARRAATTH HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Death From Above 1979 November 4 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND D SSLLEE YY (Nashville) Rachel Yamagata November 5 TT EERRM M IIN NAALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) Matisyahu November 5 WO W O RRK KPPLLAAYY TT H HEEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Rachel Yamagata November 6 BBU UCC K KH H EEAAD D TTH H EEAATT RREE (Atlanta) The New Pornographers, The Pains of Being Pure At Heart November 6 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Mastodon November 6 TT RRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Kansas November 7 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Mastodon November 7 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Robin Trower, Kevin Abernathy November 7 TT RRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Robin Trower November 8 EE D DD DII EE’’ SS AATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Chris Smither November 8 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) The Horrors November 8 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Dave Mason November 9 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H HAALLLL (Atlanta) Rufus Wainwright November 9 TT H HEE LLO O FFTT (Atlanta) Yelle November 10 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Interpol November 10 CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY N N AASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) John Oates November 10 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Halestorm November 11 TT EERRM M IIN NAALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. November 11 M AARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Interpol November 11 TT H HEE LLO O FFTT (Atlanta) Aaron Carter November 14

OP ENIN G T HIS WEEK Get On Up PG-13 The life of James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, who went from rags to riches and battled financial disasters and drug problems that eventually led to a prison sentence.

Gamora and the revenge-driven Drax the Destroyer. But when Quill discovers the true power of the orb and the menace it poses to the cosmos, he must do his best to rally his ragtag rivals for a last, desperate stand — with the galaxy’s fate in the balance. NOW S HOWI NG

Guardians of the Galaxy PG-13 Brash adventurer Peter Quill finds himself the object of an unrelenting bounty hunt after stealing a mysterious orb coveted by Ronan, a powerful villain with ambitions that threaten the entire universe. To evade the ever-persistent Ronan, Quill is forced into an uneasy truce with a quartet of disparate misfits — Rocket, a gun-toting raccoon, Groot, a tree-like humanoid, the deadly and enigmatic

22 Jump Street PG-13 After making their way through high school (twice), big changes are in store for officers Schmidt and Jenko when they go deep undercover at a local college. But when Jenko meets a kindred spirit on the football team, and Schmidt infiltrates the bohemian art major scene, they begin to question their partnership. Now they don’t have to just crack the case - they have

Chadwick Boseman in Imagine Entertainment’s “Get On Up”.

to figure out if they can have a mature relationship. If these two overgrown adolescents can grow from freshmen into real men, college might be the best thing that ever happened to them. America PG-13 In an era where the American Dream seems to have faded into a dark new dawn, filmmakers Dinesh D’Souza and John Sullivan ponder what may have become of the world if the U.S. had never come into being. By creating an alternate history in which British forces kill General George Washington during the American Revolutionary War, the filmmakers lay the groundwork for a thought-provoking meditation on the crucial role of the United States on the world stage. And So It Goes PG-13 New York realtor Oren Little is obnoxious, self-centered and greedy. His plan is to make one more killing on the housing market, retire and spend the rest of his life alone. But Little’s life is turned upside-down when his estranged son suddenly drops off a granddaughter he didn’t even know existed on his doorstep. Little tries to fob off his new charge with his quirky neighbor Leah, but soon finds that he can’t live without his granddaughter or the new woman in his life. Begin Again PG-13 Gretta and her long-time boyfriend

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Dave are college sweethearts and songwriting partners who decamp for New York when he lands a deal with a major label. But the trappings of his new-found fame soon tempt Dave to stray, and a reeling, lovelorn Gretta is left on her own. Her world takes a turn for the better when Dan, a disgraced record-label exec, stumbles upon her performing on an East Village stage and is immediately captivated by her raw talent. From this chance encounter emerges an enchanting portrait of a mutually transformative collaboration, set to the soundtrack of a summer in New York City. Dawn Of The Planet of The Apes PG-13 A growing nation of genetically evolved apes led by Caesar is threatened by a band of human survivors of the devastating virus unleashed a decade earlier. They reach a fragile peace, but it proves short-lived, as both sides are brought to the brink of a war that will determine who will emerge as Earth’s dominant species. Deliver Us From Evil R New York police officer Ralph Sarchie, struggling with his own personal issues, begins investigating a series of disturbing and inexplicable crimes. He joins forces with an unconventional priest schooled in the rituals of exorcism, to combat the frightening and demonic possessions that are terrorizing their city.

Earth To Echo PG In this PG summer family adventure movie, Tuck, Munch and Alex are a trio of inseparable friends whose lives are about to change. Their neighborhood is being destroyed by a highway construction project that is forcing their families to move away. But just two days before they must part ways, the boys begin receiving a strange series of signals on their phones. Convinced something bigger is going on, they team up with another school friend, Emma, and set out to look for the source of their phone signals. What they discover is something beyond their wildest imaginations: a small alien who has become stranded on Earth. In need of their help, the four friends come together to protect the alien and help him find his way home. This journey, full of wonder and adventure, is their story, and their secret. Edge of Tomorrow PG-13 The story unfolds in a near future in which a hive-like alien race, called Mimics, have hit the Earth in an unrelenting assault, shredding great cities to rubble and leaving millions of human casualties in their wake. No army in the world can match the speed, brutality or seeming prescience of the weaponized Mimic fighters or their telepathic commanders. But now the world’s armies have joined forces for a last stand offensive against the alien horde, with no second chances. Hercules PG-13 Both man and myth, Hercules leads a band of mercenaries to help end a bloody civil war in the land of Thrace and return the rightful king to his throne. A tormented soul from birth, Hercules has the strength of a God but feels the suffering of a human as his mythical power is tested by unimaginable villains. Lucy R A woman is accidentally caught in a dark deal who turns the tables on her captors and transforms into a merciless warrior evolved beyond human logic. Maleficent PG A beautiful, pure-hearted young woman, Maleficent has an idyllic life growing up in a peaceable forest kingdom, until one day when an invading army threatens the harmony of the land. Maleficent rises to be the land’s fiercest protector, but she ultimately suffers a ruthless betrayal-an act that begins to turn her pure heart to stone. Bent on revenge, Maleficent faces an epic battle with the invading king’s successor and, as a result, places a curse upon his newborn infant Aurora. As the child grows, Maleficent realizes that Aurora holds the key to peace in the kingdom-and

perhaps to Maleficent’s true happi- Not exactly the escape Tammy had in mind. But on the road, with grandma ness as well. riding shot gun, it may be just what Tammy needs. Persecuted PG-13 John Luther was the last obstacle in the way of sweeping religious reform. Transformers: Age of Extinction PG-13 When a Senator frames Luther for the Mark Wahlberg stars in the fourth murder of an innocent teenage girl, chapter of the series directed by an unprecedented era of persecution Michael Bay, is unleashed. An evangelist turned CO C OM MII N NG G SSO OO ON N fugitive, Luther’s mission brings him face-to-face with the coming storm of persecution that will threaten the Behaving Badly R entire Christian community in High schooler Rick Stevens is willing America. to do whatever it takes to try and win the affections of dreamgirl Nina Planes: Fire And Rescue PG Pennington, even if it means making a When world-famous air racer Dusty bet with a mobster’s son. To land the learns that his engine is damaged and girl of his dreams, he will have to navhe may never race again, he must igate his way around the mob, stripshift gears and is launched into the pers, his best friend’s adventurous world of aerial firefighting. Dusty mother, a drug-abusing boss, a perjoins forces with veteran fire and res- verted principal and a priest with a cue helicopter Blade Ranger and his courageous team, including spirited super scooper Dipper, heavy-lift helicopter Windlifter, ex-military transport Cabbie and a lively bunch of brave all-terrain vehicles known as The Smokejumpers. Together, the fearless team battles a massive wildfire, and Dusty learns what it takes to become a true hero.

really big secret. They Came Together R When Joel and Molly meet, it’s hate at first sight: his big Corporate Candy Company threatens to shut down her quirky indie candy shop. Plus, Joel is hung up on his sexy ex. But amazingly, they fall in love, until they break up about two thirds of the way through, and Molly starts dating her accountant. But then right at the end well you’ll just have to see. Third Person R Three couples in three cities find love and heartbreak in three interlocking stories. A married writer and a single girl sadistically toy with each other in Paris, a corporate thief on the run from the law meets a beautiful gypsy woman in Rome and a failed soap star wages a custody battle for the son she endangered in New York.

The Purge: Anarchy R One night a year, all crime - including murder - is legal for 12 hours. A man heads out into the chaos, intent on killing thugs as revenge for his son’s death, but ends up rescuing a stranded couple. Sex Tape R When Jay and Annie first got together, their romantic connection was intense – but ten years and two kids later, the flame of their love needs a spark. To kick things up a notch, they decide – why not? – to make a video of themselves trying out every position in The Joy of Sex in one marathon three-hour session. It seems like a great idea – until they discover that their most private video is no longer private. With their reputations on the line, they know they’re just one click away from being laid bare to the world... but as their race to reclaim their video leads to a night they’ll never forget, they’ll find that their video will expose even more than they bargained for. Tammy R Tammy is having a bad day. She’s totaled her clunker car, gotten fired from her thankless job at a greasy burger joint, and instead of finding comfort at home, finds her husband getting comfortable with the neighbor in her own house. It’s time to take her boom box and book it. The bad news is she’s broke and without wheels. The worse news is her grandma, Pearl, is her only option — with a car, cash, and an itch to see Niagara Falls. ENIGMA

Across 2. Worn to protect the clothing 6. Fermented grape juices 11. Lady's-finger 13. State resident 15. English princess 17. Fixes 18. Ogles 19. Underground part of a plant 20. Deuces 21. Thin glutinous mud 22. Authentic 23. Finish first 25. Biddies 26. Person whose religion is Judaism 30. Devote 32. Modify 36. Complete change 37. Shooting sport 38. Sealing compound 40. Purchase

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12. Flightless bird 14. Small dam 16. Part of speech 24. Rich and fashionable travellers 26. Trash 27. Spouse 28. Group of tents 29. Genus of vermin 30. Step in ballet 31. Short letter 33. Paint unskillfully 34. Be sorry for 35. Plaything 39. Highest 42. Public exhibition Down 43. Judges 1. Florida city 2. Inert elemental gas 44. Metal fastener 45. Mathematics 3. Move past 46. Raised platform 4. Lubricates 47. Evade work 5. Yuletide 6. Of moderate tem- 48. Unwieldy ship 51. Career golfers perature 52. Unpleasant smell 7. Insert 53. Salver 8. Planet 54. Stylish 9. Breathe noisily 10. Hates intensely 41. Places to sleep 47. Shaft horsepower 49. Executive Officer 50. Away 54. Pal 55. Imitator 56. Tester 57. Hawaiian port 58. Draw near 59. Book of the Bible 60. Annoys 61. Native of Switzerland 62. Type of packsack

11995544 The Crew Cuts reached the top spot of the Billboard Pop singles chart with “Sh-Boom”, a song that many consider to be the premier forerunner of 1950s Rock and Roll. The tune stayed at the top for seven weeks. Elvis Presley makes his first concert appearance at Overton Park in Memphis, opening for Slim Whitman, where he is overwhelmed by the enthusiastic reaction by the audience. 11995555 Chuck Berry’s first hit record, “Maybellene” enters the Billboard R&B chart where it will reach #1 during an 11 week run. The song, adapted from the traditional fiddle tune “Ida Red”, tells the story of a hot rod race and a broken romance. It also climbed to #5 on the Pop chart. Billboard magazine claims that only two singing stars can be considered guaranteed hit makers these days: Nat King Cole and Country star Webb Pierce. Cole has already placed 7 songs on the Pop chart and will go on to add 22 more. The flamboyant Pierce had achieved 12 number one records on the Country charts and would enjoy a streak of 34 consecutive Top Ten hits running into 1957. His version of “In The Jailhouse Now” topped the chart for 21 weeks in 1955. 11 995566 Elvis Presley’s “I Want You, I Need You, I Love You” became the number one song in the US. On the way to the recording session the previous April, an already nervous Elvis had his fear of flying re-enforced when one of the engines of his chartered plane cut out and the crew was forced to make an emergency landing on a small, deserted runway. RCA released two of Elvis Presley’s hit singles: “Blue Suede Shoes” and “Love Me Tender”. 11995577 The Everly Brothers had the best selling song in America with “Bye Bye Love”. The tune has been ranked 210th on Rolling Stone magazine’s list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and has also been recorded by Connie Francis, Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, Trini Lopez, Ray Stevens and Simon And Garfunkel.

Jerry Lee Lewis makes his TV debut on the Steve Allen Show. He went over so well, he was booked for two more appearances. The performance, containing the now familiar Lewis trademarks of kicking the piano stool across the stage and pounding out notes with the heel of his shoe, caused sales of his single “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On” to skyrocket. 119955 88 Billboard reports on a claim from the Esso Research Center “...tuning in Rock ‘n’ Roll music on a car radio can cost a motorist money, because the rhythm can cause a driver to unconsciously jiggle the gas pedal, thus wasting fuel.” Era Records releases “To Know Him Is To Love Him” by The Teddy Bears on their Dore label and sends 500 copies to radio stations across the US. The song was written by group member Phil Spector, who was inspired by the words on his father’s tombstone. Spector’s father had committed suicide when Phil was 12. Johnny Cash left his first record label, Sun, to sign a major-label contract with Columbia, where he would remain for the next 26 years. 119955 99 The Isley Brothers record their second single, “Shout”, which will not achieve great chart success, but would sell over a million copies and become a Rock and R&B classic. The Isley’s next four singles flopped and they would not have another hit until “Twist And Shout” in 1962. 11996600 Elvis Presley is named Public Enemy #1 by the East German newspaper, Young World. Billboard reports the findings of a Seventeen magazine survey that said the average teenage girl listens to the radio two hours and thirteen minutes a day and plays records two hours and twelve minutes a day. Chubby Checker’s “The Twist” is released in the US, where it will become the number one song by midSeptember. Record industry history was made when Checker’s original hit recording re-entered the charts in the Fall of 1961 and by January of 1962, was

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back in the number one position. It was the first record ever to hit number one on two separate occasions.

Gram Parsons left The Byrds on the eve of a tour of South Africa, refusing to play to segregated audiences.

18-year-old Aretha Franklin makes her first recordings for Columbia Records in New York. Her initial chart appearance would come over a year later when her version of Al Jolson’s 1918 hit, “Rock-A-Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody” would reach #37 during a two week stay on the Hot 100.

1199 6699 Police in Moscow reported that after a Russian youth magazine told readers how to convert their acoustic guitars to electric by using parts from a telephone, thousands of public phone booths had been vandalized.

11996633 Peter, Paul And Mary’s version of Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ In The Wind” is released. It will enter the Hot 100 two weeks later on its way to #2. In 1999, the song was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame, and in 2004 it was ranked #14 on Rolling Stone magazine’s list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

The Beach Boys’ lead guitarist Carl Wilson is indicted in Los Angeles for failure to perform required community service as a conscientious objector to military service. Wilson did in fact report to the L.A. County Hospital at his appointed date. However, he conducted music classes for handicapped patients rather than to act as an institutional helper.

11996644 Rockabilly singer Johnny Burnette died in a boating accident while fishing at Clear Lake, California. He was 30 years old. Burnette is most often remembered for his two, 1960 million-sellers, “Dreamin” and “You’re Sixteen”.

11997700 Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4” enters the Billboard Hot 100 where it will climb to #4. Many fans are confused about the song’s meaning until it is explained that the tune was being written at 25 or 6 to four in the morning.

11 996666 Jerry Samuels, a recording engineer at Associated Recording Studios in New York who billed himself as Napoleon XIV, had the best selling single in America with a novelty tune called “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, HaHaaa!” Several radio stations, including WABC and WMCA in New York, would ban the song because it seemed to ridicule the insane.

11997711 Hamilton, Joe Frank And Reynolds had the top tune on the Cashbox Best Sellers list with “Don’t Pull Your Love”. Dan Hamilton, Joe Frank Carollo and Tom Reynolds enjoyed their first taste of success in 1965 with a group called The T-Bones when they scored the Top Ten hit “No Matter What Shape” that was used in Alka Seltzer commercials. James Taylor scored his only Billboard

The Troggs accomplished the rare feat of having a Top Ten hit in both the UK and the US with different songs. In England, “With a Girl Like You” was a major hit, while in the US, “Wild Thing” led the Billboard chart. 11996677 An edited version of The Doors’ “Light My Fire” reaches number one in the US. Eventually, many radio stations would start playing the full six minute and fifty second album cut, which features a longer instrumental break. Despite its American success, the record could only manage #49 on the UK chart when it was first released, but reached #7 when it was re-issued in 1991. 11 996688 The Rascals switched from light Rock to making a political statement when they released “People Got To Be Free”. The song entered the Hot 100 six weeks after Bobby Kennedy was shot and would go on to number one for five weeks, ending up the fifth most popular song of the year. Cass Elliot releases her first solo single following the break up of The Mamas And Papas. “Dream a Little Dream of Me” had been around since 1931 and had been recorded by Frank Sinatra, Kate Smith, Frankie Laine and many others. Cass’ version would be the most successful as it rose to number 12 on Billboard’s Hot 100.

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number one record with the Carole King written, “You’ve Got A Friend”. The song would go on to win the 1971 Grammy Award for Best Pop Vocal Performance, Male. The concert for Bangla Desh was staged to raise money for victims of famine and war in that country. The show featured George Harrison, with some help from his friends Ringo Starr, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Billy Preston, Ravi Shankar and some members of Bad Finger. The three disc live album from the show reached number 1 in the UK and number 2 in the US in 1972, as well as winning a Grammy Award for Album of the Year. The concerts, album and film raised nearly $11 million US for the impoverished people of the newlyindependent nation of Bangladesh, formerly East Pakistan. 11997722 Gilbert O’Sullivan started a five week run at #1 on the US singles chart with “Alone Again (Naturally)”. O’Sullivan would later say that the song is not autobiographical, as he did not cry when his father died, and his mother was still alive at the time the song was written. As a follow-up to their million selling hit, “Treat Her Like a Lady”, The Cornelius Brothers And Sister Rose score a Cashbox number one with “Too Late To Turn Back Now”. The record will rise to #2 on the Billboard chart and earn a second Gold disc for the Dania Beach, Florida trio. 11997733 MCA Records introduces the newly signed Lynyrd Skynyrd to the press and explains how to pronounce the band’s name. Led Zeppelin, who were in the middle of a very successful US tour, are the victims of one of the largest cash thefts in New York City history. $180,000 is taken from the band’s safe deposit box at the Drake Hotel. The money is mostly cash receipts from the first of two nights at Madison Square Garden. 11997744 Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama” is released in America, where it would become their highest charting single, reaching #8. If you listen carefully, you can hear Ronnie Van Zant shout “Turn it up”, asking producer Al Kooper and engineer Rodney Mills to turn up the volume in his headphones so that he could hear the track better. 32-year-old Cass Elliot, a one-time member of The Mamas And Papas, died in London following an appearance at the Palladium. A post-mortem the following day said that she died as a result of choking on a sandwich and from inhaling her own vomit. It’s later revealed that she suffered a heart attack. Her biggest solo hit was 1968’s “Dream a Little Dream of Me”, which reached number 12 and was actually backed by the rest of The Mamas And Papas. Cass Elliot’s body was cremated and her

ashes were buried in Maryland. 11997755 The Eagles enjoy the second of their five Billboard #1 hits with “One Of These Nights”, as the album of the same name led the Hot 200 Albums chart. The single, which featured Don Felder’s classic guitar solo, reached #23 in the UK. 119977 66 The Steve Miller Band’s album, “Fly Like an Eagle” goes Gold, on its way to Platinum. The LP features the title track (which makes it to #2), “Rock’n Me” (#1 later in the year), “Jet Airliner” (#8 in 1977) and “Take the Money and Run” (#11 in July 1976). 11997777 The Bee Gees’ younger brother Andy Gibb started a three week stay at the top of the Billboard Pop chart with “I Just Wanna Be Your Everything”, his first of three US number ones. The record made it to #26 in the UK. 119977 88 “Macho Man”, a song that extols the virtues of working out, becomes Village People’s first Billboard chart entry. It will top out at #25. 11998800 John Phillips, former leader of The Mamas And Papas, was arrested on drug charges and sentenced to eight years in prison and fined $15,000. The sentence was later reduced to 30 days in jail and 250 hours of community service in the form of giving anti-drug lectures. Phillips hadn’t released any new material since 1970’s “The Wolf King of L.A.” 11998811 A new television cable network called MTV (Music Television) started broadcasting music videos, 24 hours a day in the US. The show begins with the intro “Ladies and gentlemen, Rock and Roll.” 11998822 Survivor’s “Eye Of The Tiger” sat atop both the Billboard Hot 100 and the Cashbox Best Sellers chart. The song, which was commissioned by actor Sylvester Stallone for the theme for the movie Rocky III, would receive an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song and go on to sell over five million copies. 11998866 The show business newspaper Variety reported that RCA dumped John Denver from its roster after the release of his single, “What Are We Making Weapons For”. Variety said the song upset the record company’s new owner, General Electric, one of the largest defense contractors in the US. GE sold RCA two months later. 119988 77 Apple Corps Ltd. and Apple Records launch a $15 million lawsuit against Nike over the use of The Beatles’ song “Revolution” in a TV commercial. Nike claimed that it paid $250,000 to Capitol Records Inc. for the rights to use the

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song for a year. An out of court settlement was reached in November of 1989, but the terms were not disclosed. The Grateful Dead’s 12th studio LP “In The Dark” enters the Billboard album chart where it would climb to #6. It would achieve Double Platinum certification in the US with the help of the group’s only American Top 40 hit, “Touch Of Grey”, which would reach #9. 11 998888 Former member of The Spencer Davis Group and Traffic, Steve Winwood had the number 1 song in the US this week with “Roll With It”. It stayed at the top for four weeks, making it the number one song of the year. In the UK however, the record stalled at #53. Winwood’s next release, “Don’t You Know What the Night Can Do?” also made it into the US Top Ten, while the following singles, “Holding On” and “One and Only Man” cracked the Top Twenty. 11 999911 Singer Rick James, who scored a 1981 hit with “Super Freak”, pleads innocent to charges he imprisoned, tortured and sexually assaulted his 21-year-old girlfriend, Tanya Hijazi in his California home. He would be arrested again in 1992 for similar charges and in 1994 was sentenced to five years and four months for cocaine use and assaulting two women. After serving two years, he was released from prison and continued his career.

11999922 Rapper Ice T announced that Warner Brothers Records would pull the controversial song “Cop Killer” from all future copies of his “Body Count” album. The song had been the target of protests by law enforcement groups who said it encouraged the killing of police. Ice T said he would give away recordings of “Cop Killer” at his concerts. In an ironic twist, he would later join the cast of the NBC police drama, Law and Order: SVU. Michael Jackson made an unscheduled appearance on his hotel balcony in London after a man apparently threatened to jump from an apartment building across the street. 28-year-old Eric Herminie said that he would leap to his death if he didn’t see Jackson, who was in Britain for a series of concerts. Jackson spent a couple of minutes waving to Herminie, who then climbed back into the building. 11999955 Jimi Hendrix’s father, James Al Hendrix, wins back the rights to his son’s name, likeness, image and music after a number of companies had profited from them over the years. 220000 11 Leon Wilkeson, bassist for the southern Rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd was found dead in a Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida hotel room. Allegedly suffering from chronic liver and lung disease, the official cause of death was deemed from natural causes. He was 49.

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2200 0033 Sam Phillips, the man who discovered Elvis Presley and owner of the legendary Sun Records, passed away at the age of 80. Phillips also helped launch the careers of Roy Orbison, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Charlie Rich, Conway Twitty and Jerry Lee Lewis. He sold Elvis’ contract to RCA in November, 1955, for $40,000. Sam was inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986. 22 000066 Former Culture Club singer Boy George (O’Dowd) was ordered to do community service by picking up trash on New York City streets after pleading guilty last March to false reporting of an incident. He called police with a bogus report of a burglary at his lower Manhattan apartment in October and the responding officers found cocaine inside. 22 001111 Marvin Lee Aday, the 63-year-old singer who goes by the name of Meatloaf, passed out onstage at Pittsburgh’s Trib Amphitheater during an apparent asthma attack. After about ten minutes he regained his composure and finished the show. 220011 22 Ten days after the J. Geils Band announced plans to tour without their namesake, John Geils filed a lawsuit against his former mates for trademark infringement and deceptive business practices. 2200 1133 The Rolling Stones charted their 50th LP on the Billboard 200 albums chart when “Hyde Park Live” debuted at #19.

RRU UM MOOUURR HHAASS IITT… … …The director of parks in St. Louis is fuming over a recent soul food and music festival that left a city park a mess. The Kinfolks Soul Food Festival featured funk and soul music at the city’s Forest Park but was also wracked by long delays and loads of trash. “The event was a disaster,” Parks Gaa rryy BBee ssss told the PostDirector G Dispatch. “It was poorly organized. It was not very well attended. There was no effective plan to clean up the site. The production of the event itself was totally unacceptable.” The fest opened its gates late, set times dragged and the event was eventually shut down by police at 12:45 a.m. – two hours after it was supposed to end, the paper reported. The parks department also fielded noise complaints from nearby theaters and venues hosting events of their own. Then, there was the mess. Kinfolks apparently didn’t provide enough trashcans, had no clean-up crew after the concert, and BBeess ss said he arrived to “a couple hundred cubic yards” of trash the morning after the show.

No, not funny-looking, but a few odd facial expressions certainly couldn’t hurt your chances in this contest. Laugh Factory founder JJaa m miiee M Maa ss aa ddaa launched the adventure earlier this month and has already gathered videos from contestants representing 19 countries. Not only can you vote on your favorites, but Laugh Factory is asking folks to submit their favorite U.S. comedians under 40 for a chance to represent the U.S. in an international comedy showcase. …Researchers at the University of Connecticut are using medical technology to breathe new life into some antique musical instruments. Dr. RRoobbeerr tt H Hoow w ee, a reproductive endocrinologist in East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, says his medical practice showed him how computerized tomography could make precise 3-D images of body parts. As a student of music history, he realized the same CT scanning technology could help him study delicate musical instruHoow w ee, who ments from the past. H is also a doctoral student in music theory and history at UConn, last year brought his idea to music theory professor RRii cchhaa rrdd BBaass ss, SSii nnaa who contacted SShhaahhbbaa zzm m oohhaam maa ddii, an engineer

…Hollywood’s renowned Laugh Factory is searching for the “Funniest Person In The World.”

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and the school’s director for advanced 3-D imaging. …A Jersey City festival ended with a fight between the crowd and police officers and the arrest of a main organizer. Saturday’s West Indian Caribbean festival featured music, food and dancing before the dispute that ended it. Organizers tell The Jersey Journal that police wanted the carnival to end at 7 p.m. But the organizers say the festivities were scheduled to go until 9 p.m., and that they had a permit that indicated as much. Police reports say organizGoorr ddoonn CCaall llee nnddeerr yelled and er G cursed at officers who told him it was time to end the show. He was later charged with assaulting a police officer and other offenses. Reports say others attending the event also tussled with police after CCaall llee nnddaarr was arrested. …A Arr eetthhaa FFrr aannkkllii nn has some harsh words for a server who showed DI-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T by telling the Queen of Soul she wasn’t allowed to eat her takeout inside the restaurant. A spokesman for Franklin says the situation unfolded Tuesday at a Johnny Rockets restaurant on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. The spokesman says FFrraa nnkkllii nn ordered a hamburger after performing a sold-out show. But he says the server screamed at FFrr aannkkllii nn, saying she couldn’t sit down to eat because she ordered takeout. FFrr aannkkllii nn says in a statement that the worker was “very rude, unprofessional and nasty.” A Johnny Rockets spokeswoman says the franchise owner is sorry for the actions of “a new and very young employee.”

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Duurr aann DDuurraa nn filed suit against …D Worldwide Fan Clubs – which operates the band’s fan club – for breach of contract, alleging inaccurate accounting and failure to pay revenues as agreed. The fan club, based in Glenview, Ill., entered into a contract with DDuurraa nn DDuurraa nn allowing it to collect memberships and sell merchandise. The contract also allegedly Duurr aann D Duurraa nn would get stipulates D 75 percent of the profits. The suit, filed July 21 in Cook County Circuit Court, seeks $40,000 in damages, according to the Chicago SunTimes. …There will be no refuge for the faint of heart in the Windy City when RR oobb ZZ oom mbbii ee’’ ss “Great American Nightmare” creeps into Chicago for a month of horrific fun. Bringing new meaning to the old saw about how there’s “no mbbiiee ’’ss rest for the wicked,” ZZoom Halloween treat moves eastward this year. Along with playing Scottsdale, Ariz., for the first time, Great American Nightmare will reside at Odeum Expo in Villa Park, Ill., Sept. 26-Nov. 1. The chills and thrills begin with RRoobb ZZ oom mbbii ee performing in concert on opening night. “I am thrilled to be able to expand the Great American Nightmare to two new cities this year,” ZZoom mbbiiee said. “My only goal is to make it twice as sick as last year.” Speaking of last year, Chicago’s Great American Nightmare will feature three attractions from its 2013 debut in Pomona, Calif. Based on ZZoom mbbii ee’’ss own horror flicks, fans can immerse themselves in sheer ter-

future, he replied: “Yeah, if they wanted me to. It’d maybe be something like D Daavv ee playing guitar Krrii sstt doing bass. and singing and K That’d be about the only arrange…A high school marching band in ment I could think of that we central Pennsylvania can’t per- could pull off.” Maarr ss and form hit songs by BBrruunnoo M FFaa llll O Ouutt BBooyy because of their sug- …PP rrii m muuss are to release a tribute gestive lyrics. The East Lancaster album to the 1971 film Willy County school board banned Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. “Locked Out of Heaven” and Speaking to Rolling Stone, front“Thnks fr th Mmrs” from students’ man LLeess CCll aayyppooooll revealed that play list even though the words the record, titled Primus and the wouldn’t be sung. Garden Spot Chocolate Factory with the Fungi High School has been rehearsing Ensemble, will be released on instrumental versions of the pop- October 21. ular tunes. But now they can’t perform them, following Monday’s 6- The album marks the return of the 3 board vote. Board member “classic” PPrr iim muuss lineup – bass HHee iidd ii ZZii m mm mee rr m maa nn says people player CCllaa yyppooooll, guitarist LLaa rrrr yy m know the songs’ words anyway. LLaa LLoonnddee and drummer TTiim She called the lyrics “trashy” and A Allee xxaa nnddee rr – who are together for the first time since 1995 release “inappropriate” for teens. Tales from the Punchbowl. Also Niirr vvaa nnaa drummer CChhaa dd featured are CCrr ii ttttee rr ss BBuuggggii nn per…Early N CChhaa nnnniinngg has said he would be up cussionist M Mii kkee D Diill lloonn and FFrroogg for reuniting with the surviving BBrrii ggaaddee cellist SSaa m m BBaass ss. “As we members of his old band. In an started putting it together, espeinterview in this week’s NME, cially with the expanded soundwhich is on newsstands and avail- scape of having string and vibraable digitally now, the drummer phone and marimba, it started says that he could envisage play- sounding to me like one of the ing with Dave Grohl and Krist early PPee tteerr G Gaabbrrii ee ll records meets Novoselic at some point in future. Dark Side of the Moon meets TThhee Niirr vvaannaa ’’ss RReess iiddee nnttss,” said CCll aayyppooooll. “That’s Channing contributed to N debut album Bleach and also laid what I get out of it. Obviously down parts for the song ‘Polly’ on that’s some big-ass horn-tooting the band’s second album to be doing.” PPrrii m muuss will begin Nevermind before his departure touring the album throughout the from the band in 1990 when he US this October. was replaced by G Grr oohhll. When asked if he would reunite with the …Hours after JJuussttii nn BBii eebbee rr and Orrll aannddoo BBll oooom m’’ss alleged scuffle in surviving members of the band in O ror via “The Lords Of Salem In Total Black Out,” “The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto 3D” and “Haunt Of 1,000 Corpses.”

an Ibiza restaurant Wednesday morning, BBii eebbee rr took to Instagram to upload (and soon delete) a photo that probably won’t smooth things over between them: A bikini picture of BBlloooom m’’ss soon-to-be Mii rr aannddaa K K eerr rr. Details of ex-wife, M their restaurant run-in are scant, but Norwegian media got hold of cell phone footage (now on TMZ) of the interaction. The footage shows BBlloooom m approaching BBii eebbeerr and thrusting his arm toward the pop star, which is quickly deflected by BBiiee bbee rr ’’ss bodyguard. Despite m threw a punch reports that BBlloooom at BBii eebbee rr, the actor’s hand doesn’t appear to be closed in the admittedly blurry footage, making the action look more like an attempted shove. …Drug-related deaths spike along with casualties of overheating, dehydration and accidental selfimmolation — is ecstasy to blame or is it just the cost of doing EDM business? On July 18, a student was found dead of undetermined causes at Pemberton Music Festival in British Columbia. In June, two Glastonbury festivalgoers died, a 67-year-old of natural causes and another from a suspected reaction to the anesthetic ketamine. At Miami’s EDM bonanza Ultra Music Festival in March, a security guard was trampled to death and another attendee passed away in his car. One more succumbed at Las Vegas’ Electric Daisy Carnival from drug-related causes, and reportedly six at Future Music Festival Asia. Perhaps the oddest of all, a man self-immolated at Utah’s Burning Man equivalent, Element 11. So far, a total of 17 people have died at music festivals around the world. If you know any truths, half-truths or outright lies about the music and club scene send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.com.

- Sissy Vance

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1. Moe. 2. First Aid Kit 3. Jenny Lewis 4. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers 5. Jack White 6. Lake Street Dive 7. The Black Keys 8. Freeman 9. Spoon 10. Phish 11. Luluc 12. Tweedy 13. Hozier 14. Interpol 15. Conor Oberst 16. Robert Plant 17. Counting Crows 18. John Hiatt 19. Morrissey 20. O.A.R.

ADVENTURE PICKS 1. Weezer 2. Yes 3. Trigger Hippy

Against Me! Punk Rock the Way It Was Meant to Be When I arrived at Track 29 in Chattanooga the other evening I thought the show had been cancelled. I was there to see Against Me! perform. There were a handful of cars there, nothing compared to other shows I’ve seen there. As I approached to box office to pick up my ticket, two guys standing nearby said, “It’s an interesting looking crowd in there”.

Spotted in the crowd there appeared to be a handful of transgender fans, which I’m guessing is what the guys outside the venue were hinting at as I arrived. Big deal. I’m not in high school any more. It takes something worse to scare or intimidate me than this. And in saying that I’m sorry those in attendance for the mere reason the lead singer is transgender I wish they would rally around the Against Me! is a punk rock band fact Against Me! is a great live out of Florida who is fronted by act and not that Laura used to be Laura Jane Grace, formerly Tom Tom. Gabel. You read that correctly, Laura Jane Grace is a member of That being said Grace is a the transgender community. For tremendous front for the band two years now she has lived as playing her Rickenbacker with Laura having made the transi- pure fury. Until now I always tion. Unfortunately for the band thought of Rickenbackers as a they have gotten more press for jangly guitar played by R.E.M., that than their music. And that the Smithereens and other is a shame. bands. No longer. Rick in now punk. While people may be fascinated by the tabloid kind of drama The band played a great deal of they dwell on what is missed is songs on their most current the fact that Against Me! is an release, Transgender Dysphoria incredible punk rock band. I Blues opening their set with saw the band a number of years “True Trans Soul Rebel” as well again when Laura was still Tom. as a number of songs off their Other than gender change the 2009 breakthrough White band still kicks incredible ass - Crosses including the title track as they should because they are and “I was a Teenage Anarchist”. that good. They even threw in some early stuff from their self-titled 2001 The sound is beyond today’s EP, “Pints of Guinness Make You punk rock. It’s not emo-laced Strong”. pop, but a throwback to punk bands of the late ‘70s and early Before against me Jenny Owen ‘80s – the genre’s heyday. Youngs took the stage. Youngs is Short, catchy tunes full of ener- a sharp contrast to Against Me!, gy, this show was great as was as her folk infused pop is very the one I saw around 2009. un-punk except for her attitude, ENIGMA

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have never had to wear earplugs to a show there. This night I literally had my head against one of the speakers. When I left that night there was only a slight ringing in my ears that quit an hour or so after leaving. And while I have never met the owners of the venue, I can attest that they have one of the more professional and courteous staffs I’ve run across in my many years Creepoid a four-piece alt-roc of covering live music. Once band opened the show. They again, much ado about nothing. were loud… and quite frankly Let the music play. that’s all I can say about them. A ggaaiinn sstt M M ee!! SSeettlliisstt They seemed to be more of a A noise band than anything else. True Trans Soul Rebel Guitarist Sean Miller and bassist Pints of Guinness Make You Anna Troxell share vocal duties Strong during their set. The band Cliché Guevara boasts a strong rhythm section. New Wave Walking Is Still Honest The other elephant in the room Unconditional Love that night that needs to be I Was a Teenage Anarchist brought up was outside once Turn Those Clapping Hands into again. When I stepped outside Angry Balled Fists to get some fresh air, one of the Black Me Out local TV stations had a live truck Pretty Girls (The Mover) there. The venue has been in Transgender Dysphoria Blues the news lately over noise com- Don’t Lose Touch plaints. The city of Chattanooga High Pressure Low is in the process of changing Thrash Unreal their sound ordinance. I was Borne on the FM Waves of the instructed by a few of the club’s Heart employees that there were “lis- FuckMyLife666 tening parties” around the area The Ocean to gauge how loud the venue Sink, Florida, Sink was. I was also told to smile for EE nnccoorree:: the camera. 500 Years That being said, I cover more Rapid Decompression shows in a year than Track 29 We Laugh at Danger (And Break has put on in their brief two- All the Rules) plus years in existence on the southside. For what it’s worth I - Dave Weinthal which was very punk. Youngs’ music is quirky just like her as she engaged in lively banter between songs. Folksy that sometimes sounded a little more alt country like another Jenny – Jenny Lewis, Youngs even enticed the crowd with a cover of Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” before giving way to Against Me!.

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2014

O’Brother - The Avett Brothers Take Over

The brothers Avett know how to throw a party. They showed everyone in attendance as much as they completed a two-day run at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre at Encore Park in Alpharetta, GA. The Avetts used a diverse number of songs over the two nights – 50 in all without repeating any over the course of the evenings. Mixing downright foot stomping barn burners with more traditional bluegrass fare, the band even threw in some well-timed and appropriate covers including a Carter Family cover and finishing their two-night stand with a cover of The Spaniels’ “Goodnite, Sweetheart, Goodnite”. Two legendary performers served as openers each night for The Avett Brothers. Friday the legendary Emmylou Harris started the night. Her Country blended pop/Americana sound was a per-

fect setup for the Brothers. It is easy to tell by listening to Harris what an influence she had on artists such as The Avett Brothers. Saturday’s opener was Southern rock jam band Gov’t Mule featuring Warren Haynes. The two different styles by the two openers – one a little bit country and the other a little bit rock and roll were a perfect compliment to The Avett Brothers’ musical style which was really diverse in tempo and style. TThh ee A Avvee tttt BBrr ootthh eerr ss SSee ttll iiss tt 77// 2255 Satan Pulls The Strings Talk on Indolence Die Die Die Shame Skin and Bones Pretty Girl from Cedar Lane Traveling Song Rejects in the Attic Live and Die Go to Sleep Will the Circle Be Unbroken ENIGMA

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(The Carter Family cover) Salvation Song Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise Find My Love I Would Be Sad Let Myself Live Salina Tania Tin Man Paul Newman vs. The Demons Laundry Room I Killed Sally’s Lover Slight Figure of Speech EEnnccoorr ee:: Open-Ended Life TThh ee A Avvee tttt BBrrootthh eerr ss SSeettll iiss tt 77 //2266 D Bag Rag The Fall Down with the Shine Will You Return? Distraction #74 The Weight of Lies Pretty Girl from Chile Slight Figure of Speech 2014

February Seven Greatest Sum Murder in the City Bring Your Love To Me Cluck Old Hen Colorshow Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise November Blue Another Is Waiting Old Joe Clark (traditional cover) The Race Is On (George Jones cover) Vanity Kick Drum Heart Geraldine I and Love and You

EEnnccoorree :: Nothing Short of Thankful Morning Song Goodnite, Sweetheart, Goodnite (The Spaniels cover)

- Chris Eason

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

For a few hours John Legend transformed an amphitheater and its crowd into an intimate cabaret. The smooth as silk piano man and R&B/soul artist literally had a capacity crowd eating out of his band as he mixed great songs with insightful banter. The night and Legend himself was a throwback to the days of Bobby Short. You younger readers have no idea who I’m talking about but older ones will. Legend was short sophisticated and engaged the audience with lively banter between songs. This wasn’t a simple concert, instead this was a show.

Legend spent part of the banter telling the audience of his past as he tried to be successful in music. He enlightened the crowd of some of his studio work and how success was not overnight, but earned over time. He also let the crowd know of some of his secrets and about his musical a life history. Legend is legend. I have never witnessed someone who was ever able to take a crowd of over 7,000 strong a rope them in. If you didn’t know better you would swear there weren’t that many people there – this solely on Legend’s ability to connect with everyone intimately. Legend is pure class, ENIGMA

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somewhat soft-spoken, knowledgeable, and able to bring even the most casual listener in to the fold. That, my friends is true talent. The ability to draw people in to your little world and make them believe you are speaking to them directly. Legend did so through song and banter, playing fresh material, reminding us of some past classics and stuff he was a part of. Truly a special evening. Legend was back by a string section and mild percussion that complemented his compositions and did not try to overcompensate.

Opening the evening for John Legend was Marsha Ambrosius. Ambrosius was once part of Floetry before beginning a solo career. The multi-talented R&B performer, known for her salty language when bantering with the crowd actually did a good job keeping it to a minimum. This was no ordinary crowd. A well-heeled crowd was on hand that night. They were a little more sophisticated than the usual fare that comes to see live music and they were quite content hanging on every word and musical note from the night’s performances.

- Dave Weinthal 2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014

ENIGMA

JULY 31

2014