Enigma 8/27/15

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From the Publisher’s Notebook

Give these businesses six have the foresight to fix these months to comply. After that or react promptly. access a fine. P.S. Mention this to your electThere you have two simple fixes ed official. You may get some for two bothersome problems. action. Hope our local government

Two questions I have to ask how to get there and even gives myself as I drive around town. the street number. The trouble is there are no numbers posted on the buildings. None at all. 1. What does that say? How are you supposed to know I’m talking about the many signs which building is what? on local businesses in a foreign language – not English - all for- I’ve come up with a simple solueign. If those business owners tion to both of these problems. want to be part of our town, they are not trying very hard. Pass a city or county ordinance Also, they could be losing busi- that all commercial signs have ness. If you don’t know what to be at least 50 percent the sign says yo don’t stop or English. The other 50 percent can be whatever they want. shop. Require all businesses to post a street number on or near their Have you ever been looking for front door. The number is to be a specific location on a street? readable from the street. You were given directions on 2. Where am I?

ENIGMA

AUGUST 27 2015

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- Paul E. Burke Sr.



Deem D mooccrraa ttiicc PPaarr ttyy ..

Dear Rocco, What do you think of the sudden revelations of now former Subway spokesman Jared Fogel and soliciting minors for sex? RM

DDee aarr RRM M,, SSii cckk .. II tt hhoouugghhtt ss oom meetthhii nngg w waa ss wrr oonngg w w wii tthh hh iim m yyeeaa rrss aa ggoo.. H H ee uussee dd ttoo bbee aa ffaatt bbiigg bbeeffoorr ee ““ w waall kkii nngg hhii ss wee iigghh tt ooffff w w wii tthh SSuu bbw w aayy”” .. M Mooss tt ppeeooppllee tthhaatt ssii zzee hhaavvee sseerr iioouuss ppssyy -cchhooll ooggii ccaall pprroobbll ee m mss hh eenn ccee tthh ee uunnhhee aalltthhyy ss ii zzee hhee oonnccee w w aass .. YY oouu ’’rree aall ssoo ddeeaa llii nngg w wii tthh ss eell ff--eess tteeeem m ii ssss uu eess aanndd tthheerr ee’’ss nnoo ttee llll iinngg w whh aatt ee llss ee.. II ss ttii llll rree m mee m mbbee rr tthhee ““SSoouutthh PPaarrkk ”” eeppii ssooddee aa bboouutt JJaarr eedd hhaavvii nngg aaii dd(( ee)) ss aanndd hhii m mw waa nnttii nngg ttoo ccoonnffeess ss tthh aatt hh ee ddiiddnn’’tt ll oossee aall ll tthhaatt w w eeii gghh tt bbyy oonnllyy eeaa ttiinngg SSuubbw waayy.. II ’’m m ggoooodd aatt ffii gguu rrii nngg oouutt tthhee rree ii ss ssoom meetthh iinngg ddii ssttuu rrbbii nngg aabboouutt ppee ooppll ee aanndd m myy rr aaddaarr w wee nntt ooffff yyeeaa rr aaggoo.. TToooo bbaadd bbeeccaa uuss ee hhee ss eeeem mee dd ttoo ll iivvee tthhee ffaaiirr yyttaall ee ll iiffee bbyy ll oossii nngg tthhee w w eeii gghh tt,, bbee iinngg aa ss ppookk eess m maa nn ffoorr oonnee ooff tthh ee ll aarr ggeess tt ss aannddw w iicchh ffrraa nncchh ii ssee ss ii nn tthh ee w w oorr lldd,, maakk iinngg aa ttoonn ooff m m moonnee yy bbee ccaauu ssee ooff iitt aanndd tthhee nn m maarr rryyii nngg aa nn aa ccttuuaa ll ggiirr ll.. JJaarr eedd iiss aa ssii cckk bbaass ttaarrdd aanndd tthhee rree ii ss aa ssppeeccii aall ppll aaccee iinn hheell ll ffoorr ppeerr vvss ll iikk ee hhii m m.. II rr oonnii ccaall ll yy II ddii ddnn’’tt kk nnoow w SSuubbw w aayy hh aadd aa kkii dd’’ss m meeaa ll uu nnttiill II ss ttooppppeedd bbyy tthheerr ee tthhee ootthheerr ddaayy.. W hhaa tt ii rroonnyy.. W Dear Rocco, Vice-President Joe Biden is apparently interested in throwing his hat into the ring for the Democratic Presidential race. Think he has any chance?

MK

DDee aarr M MKK,, IIrr oonniiccaall llyy ,, nnoo m maatttteerr hhoow wm muucchh ooff aann ii ddii oott hhee ’’ss ll ooookk eedd tthhee ll aass tt ssee vveenn yyeeaa rrss bbee iinngg ss eeccoonndd iinn ccoom mm maanndd,, hh ee iiss aa lloott bbeettttee rr tthhaann tthhee ccuurrrr eenntt ccaann -ddii ddaatteess ooff tthhee ppaa rrttyy.. HH ii llaarr yy ii ss aa ccrrii m mii nnaall ,, nnuu ttttyy BBeerrnnii ee SSaa nnddee rrss iiss aa ccoom mm mii ee aa nndd EEllii zzaa bbee tthh W Waa rrrr eenn ii ss ooffff hheerr rroocckk eerr .. W Waa rrrr eenn iiss w whh iittee rr tthhaa nn m mee aa nndd ss oom mee hhoow w ggoott ddee eem meedd aa ““NN aattii vvee AAm meerr iiccaa nn”” ttoo ggee tt aa ffrree ee ccooll llee ggee ee dduuccaa ttii oonn.. SSoom mee oonnee eexxppll aaiinn tthhaatt ttoo m mee.. SSaauu nnddeerr ss w w aannttss tthhee ggoovveerr nnm mee nntt ttoo ppaayy ffoorr eevvee rryy -tthhiinngg ffoorr eevv eerr yyoonnee yyee tt ddooeess nn’’tt kknnoow w hh oow w oorr w whh oo w w iill ll rree aall llyy ffoooott tthhee bbiill ll.. HHee ’’ss bbeeccoom mee rr iicchh bbeeii nngg aa ccaarr eeeerr ppoollii ttiicciiaa nn w whh iill ee ppaa yyiinngg hh ii ss oow wnn ssttaaffffee rrss w w eell ll bbeell oow w tthh ee $$ 11 55// hhrr .. hhee w waannttss bbuu rrggee rr ffllii ppppee rrss ttoo ggeett ppaaii dd.. HH iill aarr yy… … w whh aa tt ddiiffffee rree nnccee ddooee ss ii tt m maakk ee.. H H eerr ee’’ss tthh ee ii rroonnyy – – DDee m mooccrr aattss aanndd ““pprrooggrr eess ssii vveess ”” hhaa vvee aattttaacchheedd tthhee GG ..OO ..PP.. ffoorr yyee aarr ss aa ss bbee iinngg tthhee ppaarr ttyy ooff ooll dd w whh ii ttee gguu yyss wii tthh nnoo ttoouu cchh w w wii tthh rr eeaa llii ttyy.. H Hii llaa rryy aanndd BBeerr nniiee aarr ee aall m mooss tt 77 00,, aa dddd BBiiddeenn ttoo tthhaatt.. TT hhiiss eellee ccttiioonn iiss rreeaa ll -llyy tthhee RReeppuubbll iiccaannss ttoo lloossee .. TT hheeyy hhaavvee ffoouunndd tthhee m mss eell vvee ss w w iitthh aa ggrroouupp ooff yyoouunnggeerr ccaannddii ddaatteess w wii tthh ppll eennttyy ooff eenneerr ggyy aa nndd eenntthhuuss iiaa ssm m,, nnoott ttoo m meennttiioonn bbeettttee rr iiddeeaass tthh aann tthhee DD eem mss .. II rr oonnii ccaall llyy oonnllyy ““TT hh ee DDoonnaall dd”” ii ss ooll dd aatt 6699.. BBuutt hhee ’’ss ggoott moorr ee ee nneerr ggyy tthh aann aannyyoonnee eell ssee iinn m tthhee ppaacckk ffoorr ee iitthheerr ppaarr ttyy aanndd ii ssnn’’tt aaffrraa iidd ttoo ss ttaattee iitt.. IItt ss hhoouulldd ii nn tthhee eenndd bbee aa ggoooodd rraa ccee bbee ttw weeee nn TT rruu m mpp aanndd BBee nn CC aarr ssoonn ffoorr tthhee RReeppuubbll iiccaann nnoodd.. BBootthh aarr ee bbee ttttee rr cchhooiiccee ss tthhaann aannyy ooff tthhee ccll oow wnn ss ffrr oom m tthh ee ENIGMA

CJ

Dear Rocco, D eeaarr CCJJ,, D What do you think of the Ashley CC oonnttrr aarr yy ttoo ppooppuu ll aarr bbee llii eeff nnoott Madison hacking? maannyy ppeeooppllee w m w aanntt ttoo bbee ffaatt.. QQuuiittee ffrr aannkkll yy ii tt ii ss uu nnaattttrr aaccttiivvee .. IItt iiss llii tteerr -DP aa llll yy ppuuttttiinngg ll iippss ttii cckk oonn aa ppii gg.. II DDeeaa rr DDPP.. ttii rree dd ooff hhee aarrii nngg ee xxccuussee ss ffoorr tthhee ssee KKaarrm maa .. W W hhyy ddoo yy oouu m maarr rryy iiff yyoouu w w oom mee nn nnoott ttoo pprryy tthhaa tt ssppoooonn oouu tt ooff ccaa nn’’tt kkee eepp iitt iinn yyoouurr ppaannttss aarr oouunndd tthhaatt hhaall ff--ggaa llll oonn ooff ii ccee ccrr eeaa m m.. A Anndd ootthheerr ss?? W W ee hh aavvee bbeeccoom mee aa ll aazz yy tthh ee BBaarr bbii ee hh ooooppllaa … … IItt’’ss aa ffrreeaa kkii nngg ssoocciiee ttyy.. OOll dd sscchhooooll cchheeaa tteerrss hhaadd ddoollll nnoott aa rr eeaall iiss ttiicc iinntteerr pprr eettaa ttii oonn ppll aannss llii kkee tthhee bbeess tt m moovviiee ss ppii eess ,, ee ttcc.. ooff aa w woom maa nn’’ss bbooddyy.. TT hhee nn II gguuee ssss TTooddaayy w wee aarr ee ttoooo llaa zzyy ttoo ddoo ll iittttll ee RRaaggggee ddyy A Annnn iiss aa pprrooppeerr rr eepprr eessee nn-moorr ee tthh aann hh ii tt aa kk eeyy ssttrr ookk ee ttoo ggeett ttaattii vvee ooff hh oow m w aa w woom maann ss hhoouu lldd w wee aarr whhaa tt w w wee w w aanntt ffrr oom m ddii nnnneerr ttoo jj uu sstt hh ee rr m maakk ee uu pp oorr ddrr eess ss aa ss w wee ll ll.. aabboouutt aannyytthhiinngg aavvaaii llaa bbll ee uunnddee rr tthhee PPee ooppll ee aarr ee ssttuuppiidd aanndd ttrr yy ttoo ttaa kkee ssuunn tthhrroouugghh AAm maazz oonn.. W W ee’’vvee ll oosstt oouu tt tthh eeiirr ffrr uuss ttrraa ttiioonnss iinn tthh eeii rr oow wnn tthhee w wii llll ffoorr tthh ee hhuu nntt oorr aaddvvee nnttuu rr ee ss hhoorr ttccoom mii nnggss oonn ii nnaannii m maa ttee oobbjj eeccttss aanndd w waanntt eevvee rryytthh iinngg ddee llii vveerr eedd ttoo aa nndd ootthhee rr ggaarr bbaa ggee.. G G eett aa llii ffee.. oouurr ddoooorr ss iinncc lluuddii nngg ss ee xx nnoow w .. IIrr oonniiccaa llll yy ooff tthhee nnaam meess hh aacckk eedd Rocco is a common sense, tell-ittthheerr ee w weerr ee oovvee rr 11 0000 EESSPPN N eem mppllooyy-- like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy eeeess aa nndd w wee rree nnoott ttaa llkk iinngg jjaannii ttoorrss .. offering real advice on any subject TThhee w w oorr llddw wii ddee ll eeaaddeerr iinn ppeerr vvee rr-- put before him. Why pay thoussii oonn.. LLeett’’ss ffaaccee iitt -- tthhee w woorrll dd iiss sands of dollars on a high-priced ggooii nngg ttoo hhee llll aanndd tthhee eenndd ii ss nnee aarr .. AAtt therapist when he’ll straighten you lleeaa sstt II hhaavvee aa cclleeaa nn ccoonnss cciioouuss.. out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco e-mail him at goaskrocDear Rocco, co@yahoo.com or drop him a line What do you think of the “plus at Ask Rocco c/o Enigma P.O. Box size” model stuff going on now? 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401.

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ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) Things aren't as they appear. Try to take care of the needs of those you love. Put your thoughts into action. Don't be critical or overly opinionated with dislikes; it could cause disapproval and unwanted opposition.

Your luckiest events this month will deal you can make. Avoid friction Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Monday. with your mate. occur on a Thursday.

TAURUS (Apr. 21- may 21) Get involved in jobs that require creative input. You can win points with both peers and superiors. After all, they may have valuable information to pass on. For now just do the best you can. Your partner's a little jumpy.

Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Wednesday.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21) You will be able to get to the bottom of things this month. You will be in the mood to socialize. Drastic financial losses may be likely if you lend Your luckiest events this month will money. Compromise if you have to, to avoid verbal battles. occur on a Wednesday.

CANCER (June 22-July 22) Feeling under the weather may be a result of overindulgence. Think twice before you pursue an unrealistic endeavor. Do something together and you'll be surprised how sweet a

Your luckiest events this month will SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) occur on a Thursday. Make sure that you have all the pertinent facts before taking action. LEO You may find yourself in an uncom(July 23-Aug 22) Go directly to the source if you want fortable situation if you have overto know exactly what's been going loaded your plate unintentionally. on. Try to mix business with pleas- You will not be able to contain your ure while traveling. Be sure to take emotions this month. You will have advantage of the opportunities that some problems with children, but if exist. You will be overly sensitive you are patient you will win their when dealing with your personal favor. life. Your luckiest events this month will Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Saturday. occur on a Monday. CAPRICORN (Dec 22.- Jan. 20) VIRGO You will get along well in social situ(Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) You should be able to get a lot done. ations. Look into making changes to You can make money if you concen- your personal papers and don't negtrate on producing services that will lect those bills that have been piling make domestic chores easier. Don't up. A trip to visit relatives should be promise to deliver the goods if you rewarding. Mishaps due to preoccuaren't positive that you can meet the pation will be upsetting. deadline. You'll find it difficult to Your luckiest events this month will control your emotions. occur on a Sunday. Your luckiest events this month will AQUARIUS occur on a Sunday. (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) Pamper yourself; the self esteem it LIBRA brings you will be most gratifying. (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) You need adventure and excitement You are best to sit back and think it in your life. Don't be too quick to through, rather than add to the rantjudge others. Helping children may ing and raving. If you can include be rewarding and challenging. them in your plans, do so. Your Fitness or weight loss pro grams will charisma will no doubt attract a lot of attention. help your self esteem. Your luckiest events this month will Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Saturday. occur on a Saturday. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) Confusion at an emotional level will cause you to make wrong decisions concerning your personal life. You will have the getup and go to con tribute a great deal to groups of interest. Regardless of your first reaction, the outcome will be favorable. You will be able to work in fine detail and present the best possible proposal.

PISCES (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) Just be yourself. You must deal with an emotional problem with your loved one that you have been avoiding for some time now. You are in a high energy, get it all done, mood and you'll have little patience with those who are slacking off. Financial gains can be made through wise investments. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Wednesday.

ENIGMA

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Political Gumbo Morning temps are creeping down into the 60’s, so I thought I’d whip up a batch of political gumbo. There’s a lot going on these days, so here’s the most recent assortment of flavorful political nuggets…

approach to immigration issues meshes nicely with the inherent inbred racism that still permeates Sweet Home Alabama. “White power!” chants could be heard coming from the Mobile audience. White supremacist forum Stormfront has come out in support of the lily-white reality television star. “Trump may be the closest thing we have had to a pro-white candidate since Wallace!” wrote Stormfront “sustaining” (paying) member Walter Fairchild II. “Not [white nationalist] by any means but at least pro white!” Racists love The Donald…

…I begin, unsurprisingly, with Donald Trump. Trump’s Friday night “pep rally” in Mobile, Alabama, featured over an hour of rambling from the billionaire candidate. The crowd was estimated at about 30,000, far from a full house at Ladd-Peeples stadium. But the former host of “The Apprentice” got a warm reception after circling the venue in his garish custom …While Trump’s unsubtly Boeing 757. Trump’s xenophobic racist rhetoric offends me… and

the notion of Trump actually winning the Republican nomination still terrifies me… I confess to finding some amusement in the sheer chaos that his campaign has spawned. The powersthat-be in the GOP just don’t know what to do with such a wild card floating around in their neatly stacked deck. The big-dollar donors who have thrown $120 million at the least of the Bush clan are putting their checkbooks away. Trump is the focal point of the Republican

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Paul E. Burke Sr. Publisher D.A. Weinthal. Editor-In-Chief David Huff Managing Editor Chris Eason Photo Editor

Contributing Editors: Mark Haskins, Jim Sells, Mark Bedford. Chris McKay, David N. Marks, William Alexander, Dave Fernandez Founder: D.A. Weinthal Like us on Facebook ENIGMA

AUGUST 27 2015

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primary race thus far… …I didn’t watch all of Trump’s speech in Mobile, but I watched a good bit of it. Despite being a rambling megalomaniac, the comb-over candidate is always entertaining. Jeb Bush is never entertaining. The former Florida governor looks like he’s auditioning for the next “Walking Dead” sequel. Bush has gone from being the presumed nominee to scrambling to get Trump’s approval poll lead down to sin-


gle digits…

heart Elizabeth Warren and is said to be strongly considering a ….Hillary Clinton can relate to third run at the White House. Jeb’s plight. The former first Biden is experienced and likelady and Secretary of State was expecting to be anointed as the Democrats’ nominee. Now she’s trailing socialist Bernie Sanders in New Hampshire. Sanders is from neighboring Vermont, so his strong showing is not really a surprise. Hillary’s inability to put “the email scandal” behind her is definitely hindering her efforts. Even if her decision to bypass official State Department mail procedures in favor of a private server was neither illegal nor in violation of policy, it doesn’t seem like a smart idea… especially from someone who is generally considered to be rather intelligent… …Hillary’s stumbling presidential campaign hasn’t gone unnoticed by Vice President Joe Biden. Biden had a two-hour meeting with Democratic sweet-

dal and her own likeability deficit, Ms. Clinton’s chances of …If the notion of Donald making hubby Bill our nation’s Trump as the GOP front-runner doesn’t tickle your funny bone, first consider the grass roots candidacy of “Deez Nuts.” The independent presidential candidate is polling at 9 percent in the latest PPP poll from North Carolina… and has posted similar numbers in Minnesota (8 percent) and Iowa (7 percent). According to a Federal Elections Commission filing, Mr. Nuts hails from Wallingford, Iowa. As it turns out, “Deez Nuts” is a pseudonym for high school sophomore Brady Olson, who will have to wait 20 years before he can legally run for President. For now, he’ll have tosettle for polling higher than many of the “serious” candidates. I just love America…

able. Conservative author First Husband are already Edward Klein has titled his declining. A Biden run will make upcoming book, “Unlikeable: things even tougher for her… The Problem With Hillary.” Between the ongoing email scan-

ENIGMA

AUGUST 27 2015

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- Mark Bedford


STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - A 43-year-old former flight attendant was arrested Friday on charges he pretended to be a medical doctor and psychologist, allegedly treating more than 100 patients from his basement apartment for the past three years. Donald Lee-Edwards, of New York, never graduated medical school or earned a doctoral degree to be licensed for either profession, Acting Richmond County District Attorney Daniel Master said. But he prescribed patients medications and took blood and urine samples, investigators said. “He merely bestowed upon himself the profes-

sional titles of clinical psychologist and medical doctor,” Master said. “He is neither trained nor licensed to provide any mental health or medical services.” Prosecutors said Lee-Edwards had been seeing patients since 2013, billing himself as having worked “extensively with family members and victims of 9/11,” although it was unclear if he actually did. Lee-Edwards’ attorney Matthew Blum said there is no evidence he ever harmed anyone. “They’re alleging he was some sort of doctor who was operating on people,” Blum said. “They’re turning this guy into a monster. He was really just trying to help some people in his community.” Investigators said Lee-Edwards came to the atten-

ENIGMA

tion of law enforcement after a patient became suspicious of his unorthodox bedside manner, talking about other patients, bragging of the intended blonde and her eyes he graduated high school at age 13 are closed while she holds a toothand saying he attended law school. pick as a cane. The text must have autocorrected to ‘blind girl’ and HAMILTON, Scotland - A Scottish when my mum went to collect it she mom’s request for a “wee blonde was wondering why it wasn’t girl” atop her daughter’s birthday blonde. They then realized what cake led to an unusual cake topper had happened after checking the when autocorrect changed “blonde” text and decided to leave it on as to “blind.” Lanarkshire resident was funny. Hope no one is offendEmily Seggie shared a picture on ed,” Seggie told Buzzfeed News. Twitter of her sister’s birthday cake, which was topped with a “wee blind BERLIN - Some people just don’t girl” as a result of her mother’s know when to say ‘when.’ You autocorrect mishap while sending a would think that after a long and text message to the baker. The girl fruitful life that included giving atop the cake has dark hair instead birth to 13 kids, a person would be satisfied. But not this woman. She

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item was anything other than an old buoy when their kids asked if they could play with it. “We didn’t take much notice of the buoy,” Kelly Gravell told CBS News. “We were looking at the barnacles — it was quite unusual.” It wasn’t until a couple of days later when Pembrey Country Park officials determined the item was actually a U.S.-made bomb from World War II. “So the buoy my kids were jumping on all weekend turns out to be a WWII bomb. Oops!!” Gareth Gravell tweeted. Park officials shared pictures of the bomb on Facebook. A video posted Wednesday showed the bomb being destroyed in a controlled demolition by Royal Navy officers. “It was a complete shock,” Kelly Gravell said. “The story could have been a lot different had that gone off.” “In the future, we’re going to approach [unknown objects on the beach] with care,” STANFORD, Ky. - Authorities in she said. Kentucky said they arrested a man accused of drunkenly trying to dig BROOKLYN - To parents, their chilup his father’s grave to help the dren are the most valuable things in nearly-40-year-dead man get to the world. And when you are in a heaven. Michael May, 44, whose hotel room, what do you do with father, Odell, died in 1978, was your valuables? If you follow this arrested Monday night on charges chain of reasoning to its logical of violating a grave, possession of conclusion you might come up with marijuana, and public intoxication. the same answer as this New York May, who had allegedly been drink- couple. Police are looking for a ing alcohol and smoking marijuana couple from Brooklyn who locked Monday evening, was discovered their baby inside a hotel safe, police digging up a plot at the Pilot Baptist in Canada said. The Niagara Church in rural Lincoln County by a Regional Police Service said that the constable whose suspicions were family was staying at the Howard piqued when he saw May’s car. “I Johnson Hotel in Niagara Falls, and went back and hollered for him to apparently did not want to risk step back in the light and he told their precious little bundle falling me to step back to the dark. That’s into the water while they were when I went and got my flashlight. sight-seeing. Around 10:00 a.m. the He started hollering out [Bible] vers- family notified the hotel staff that es at me,” Constable Delbert the baby had been locked in the Mitchell told WLEX-TV. “He told me safe, and a maintenance worker he was trying to dig his dad up, so was sent to the room to free the his dad could go to heaven.” May baby. The baby was alert and crytold police he does not believe he ing, police said. The parents, who was doing anything wrong by trying were on the scene when the mainto dig up his father’s grave. “I see tenance worker freed the baby, left the truth.. he needs to be on the the hotel before the police arrived. ground. Not under it,” May said. The child abuse unit of the Niagara Police asked May if he planned to Regional Police, said that it is still make a second attempt to exhume unclear how the baby ended up in his father’s remains. “It’s a possibil- the safe, although we can assume he ity. If the truth doesn’t come out didn’t crawl in there himself. Police and nobody sees the truth, yeah I’ll believe that the baby is less than one year old and small enough to fit do it again,” he said. in the safe. I’m not sure this would BURRY PORT, Wales - A barnacle- qualify as child abuse. I mean, how covered buoy discovered by a pair much harm can a baby come to in a of curious young children at a safe? If anything the parents were Welsh beach was later found to be a neglectful for forgetting the combibomb from World War II. Gareth nation. The U.S. Border Control has and Kelly Gravell, who visited West also been notified about the inciBeach in Burry Port with their chil- dent, but the family has not arrived dren, 6-year-old Erin and 4-year-old back in the U.S. Ellis, said they did not suspect the went out of the way, and out of the country to have four more...at age 65! Doctors in Germany say quadruplets born prematurely three months ago to a 65-year-old woman are doing well and can leave a Berlin hospital soon. Charite hospital said that the babies all weigh more than 2.5 kilograms (88 ounces) and should be able to go home this month. The quadruplets are a girl named Neeta and three boys named Dries, Bence and Fjonn, who were delivered during the 26th week of pregnancy by cesarean section. Mother Annegret Raunigk is believed to be the oldest woman to have ever delivered quadruplets. The retired schoolteacher already has 13 other children aged 10 to 44 from five fathers. She traveled abroad to have donated, fertilized eggs implanted, a procedure that is illegal in Germany.

ENIGMA

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SEPTEMBER 3-6

J.BLISS

AT A YOUNG AGE, J BLISS ALWAYS HAD A KNACK FOR CAPTURING AN AUDIENCE’S ATTENTION WITH SOME QUICK WITTED HUMOR. HIS COMEDIC CRAFT STARTED WITH HIS UPBRINGING IN SOUTH JERSEY. J BLISS’ STYLE DEALS WITH EVERYDAY OBSERVATIONS AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCES IN WHICH HE CHOOSES TO FIND THE HUMOR. SINCE HIS START HE HAS OPENED FOR COMEDIANS LIKE EDDIE GRIFFIN, DERAY DAVIS, COREY HOLCOMB, RODNEY PERRY, GEORGE WILLBORN, JAY PHILLIPS, TONY ROBERTS, ALEX THOMAS AND THE RAGIN CAJUN – JOHN MORGAN

SEPTEMBER 11-13

BIG EDDIE CAYLOR

BIG ED IS SOUTHERN TO THE BONE, AND COUNTRY AS CORNBREAD. BEING FROM OOLTEWAH, TENNESSEE MAKES HIM AN EXPERT ON HOMETOWN VIEWS AND VALUES. HIS TRUE STORIES ABOUT MARRIAGE AND BEING A DAD WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM. FAMILY SECRETS AND SKELETONS HAVE ENTERTAINED CROWDS FOR YEARS. BIG ED PUTS ON A BIG SHOW THAT YOU WON'T SOON FORGET. HE IS OUTRAGEOUS, ORIGINAL AND OFF THE CHART ...

SEPTEMBER 18-20

SPANKY BROWN

VERSATILITY AND STYLE BEST DESCRIBE THIS PERFORMER PROVIDING LAUGHS THAT TRANSCEND ALL BARRIERS: AGE, GENDER, URBAN OR MAINSTREAM, HIS HUMOR APPEALS TO ALL AUDIENCES. CURRENTLY A CONTRIBUTING WRITER FOR “THE TOM JOYNER MORNING SHOW” HEARD IN OVER 100 RADIO MARKETS, SPANKY HAS ALSO BEEN FEATURED ON BET’S “COMIC VIEW.”

SEPTEMBER 24-26

ETTA MAY

THE "FEMALE STAND UP COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR", AND "QUEEN OF COUNTRY COMEDY" WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE ETTA MAY? “MINNIE PEARL WITH A MIGRAINE.” TO PUT IT SIMPLY, WHEN ETTA MAY TAKES THE STAGE, SHE IS THE REIGNING QUEEN OF SOUTHERN SASS. SHE REFLECTS “YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING FAT WHEN YOU SIT IN THE BATHTUB AND THE WATER IN THE TOILET RISES!” ETTA MAY WON THE PRESTIGIOUS AMERICAN COMEDY AWARDS: “STAND-UP COMIC OF THE YEAR,” AND HAS APPEARED ON OPRAH, COMIC STRIP LIVE, MTV, AND AS A GUEST COMMENTATOR ON “CBS SUNDAY MORNING.” ETTA MAY HEADLINES THE MOST SUCCESSFUL ALL FEMALE “SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKS TOUR”. SELLING OUT THEATRES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. THINK BLUE COLLAR COMEDY TOUR WITH BETTER HAIR! ETTA MAY IS ALSO A HEADLINE COMIC ON CMT’S “CMT COMEDY STAGE” WHICH IS THE SECOND HIGHEST RATED SHOW IN CMT HISTORY. THE SUCCESS OF THE COMEDY STAGE FRANCHISE LED TO THE PRODUCTION OF THE SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKS COMEDY TOUR SPECIAL AS THE FIRST COMEDY CONCERT SERIES FOR THE NATIONAL CABLE NETWORK.

SEPTEMBER 27

G.R. GOODWIN

ONE OF CHATTANOOGA'S FAVORITE HOMEGROWN COMEDIANS, G.R. GOODWIN IS ONE OF THE HOTTEST TRUE COMICS IN THE BUSINESS TODAY. HIS UNIQUE STYLE HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS, "LOTS OF ENERGY, WITH LITTLE MOVEMENT; INTIMATELY INTIMIDATING." A STYLE THAT, TO HIS AUDIENCES, FEELS MORE PERSONAL THAN PERFORMANCE. AN INVITING PERSONALITY THAT WILL LEAVE YOU FEELING AS IF HE WAS SPECIFICALLY TAKING TO YOU. HIS UNIVERSAL APPEAL HAS ALLOWED HIM TO WORK WITH SUCH COMEDY GREATS AS D.C. CURRY, BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT, EARTHQUAKE, RODNEY CARRINGTON, & TRACY MORGAN.HE ALSO HAS A COMEDY CENTRAL SPECIAL ENTITLED, “WHITE PRECIOUS.”

FOR UPDATES, DISCOUNTS AND FREE TICKETS, TEXT COMEDYCATCH TO 99000

3223 BRAINERD RD.423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM

This week’s calendar covers events for September and beyond. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

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TTRREE M MOO NNTT TT AAVVEE RRNN (Chattanooga) Open Mic w/ Mike McDade JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBOOHH EEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Comedy Buffet w/ Dave Stone AASSCC EENNDD AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE A ATTEE RR (Nashville) ZZ Top, Blackberry Smoke OOAAKK M MO OU UN NTT A AIIN NA AM MPPH H IITTH H EEA ATT RREE (Pelham, AL) Chris Brown, Kid Ink, Omarion, Fetty Wap, Teyana Taylor

TTHH EE CC OOM M EEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) J.Bliss RRHH YY TTHH M M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Chig Martin & the Alabama Outlaws RRII VVEE RRFFRROONN TT NNIIGG HHTT SS (Chattanooga) Stokeswood, Remembering January JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHH EEM MIIA A (Chattanooga) Great Barrier Reefs, Dynamo, Charlie the Head BBRRIIDD GGEE SSTT OONNEE AARREENN AA (Nashville) Kelly Clarkson, Pentatonix, Eric Hutchinson AASSCCEE NNDD AAM MPPH H IITTH H EEA ATT EERR (Nashville) Widespread Panic AAAARROO NN’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE A ATT RREE (Atlanta) Chris Brown, Kid Ink, Omarion, Fetty Wap, Teyana Taylor BBUU CCKKHH EEAADD TT HHEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Jim Jefferies SSAATTUU RRNN (Nashville) X

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RRAAW W (Chattanooga) Open Jam PPHHIILLII PPSS AARREENN AA (Atlanta) Madonna TTHH EE CCOO UUNN TTRRYY M MUU SSIICC HHAALL LL OOFF FFAAM M EE AANN DD MU M USS EEU UM M (Nashville) Roseanne Cash CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Will Kimbrough

TT H HUURRSSDDAAYY SSeepptt eem mbbeerr 33 TTHH EE CCOO M MEEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) J.Bliss BBUUDD’’ SS (Chattanooga) DJ Hammer TTRREE M MO ON NTT TT A AVVEE RRN N (Chattanooga) Songwriters Showcase CCAAM M PP H HO OU USSEE (Chattanooga) Open Mic JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBOOHH EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Your Chance to Die Barnaby RRHHYY TT HHM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Zack Farlow IIRROONN CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Jonny Lang

FFRRIID DAAYY SSeepptt eem mbbeerr 44 TTHH EE CCOO M MEEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) J.Bliss RRAAW W (Chattanooga) DJ Barnaby RRHHYY TT HHM M && BBRREE W WSS (Chattanooga) Dave Matthews Tribute Band TT-- BBOONNEE ’’SS (Chattanooga) Ramble in the Attic JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBOOHH EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Behold the Brave, The Gills, Rocketboys NNAAW WLLIIN N SS (Cleveland, TN) Convertibull MA M ARRA ATT H HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) ZZ Ward IIRROONN CCII TTYY (Birmingham) GWAR, Butcher Babies, Battlecross TTHH EE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) Fear Factory, Once Human, Before The Mourning, The Bloodline ENIGMA

TTHH EE CC OOM M EEDD YY CCAATT CC HH (Chattanooga) J.Bliss SSKKYYZZ OOOO (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter WO W OLLFF CCRREE EEK KA AM MPPH HIITT H H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Morris Day & the Time, Con Funk Shun, Lakeside, Zapp Band TTHH EE TT EERRM M IIN NA ALL (Atlanta) The Orb CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) X

MOONNDDAAYY SSeeppttee m M mbbee rr 77 TTRREE M MO ON N TT TTA AVVEE RRNN (Chattanooga) Trivia Night TTHH EE OO FFFFIICC EE (Chattanooga) SpeakEasy FFOOXX && HHOO UUNNDD (Chattanooga) DJ Exphacter CCEE NNTT EERR SSTT AAGGEE (Atlanta) ZZ Ward TTHH EE NN IICCKK (Birmingham) Sleepy Kitty, Brier

U PPCC OOM U MIINNGG EEVVEENNTT SS JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHH EEM MIIAA (Chattanooga) Shabti, Marbin, Soft Server September 8 MA M ARRA ATT H HO ON NM M UUSSIICC W WOO RRKKSS (Nashville) Purity Ring September 8 GGEEOO RRGGIIAA TTHH EEAATT RREE (Athens, GA) X September 8 EEXXIITT //IINN (Nashville) Andrew W.K. September 9 IIRROONN CCIITT YY (Nashville) Purity Ring September 9 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) X September 9 TTHH EE TT AABBEERRNN AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Rodrigo y Gabriela, Todd Park Mohr September 9 CCEE NNTT EERR SSTT AAGGEE (Atlanta) Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats, Ecstatic Vision, Ruby The Hatchet September 9 TTRRAACC KK 2299 (Chattanooga) GWAR, Butcher Babies, Battlecross September 10 JJ..JJ..’’SS BBOOHH EEM MIIA A (Chattanooga) Brave Baby

AUGUST 27 2015

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September 10 AAAARROO NN’’ SS AAM MPPHH IITT HHEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Kelly Clarkson, Pentatonix, Eric Hutchinson September 10 AAVVOO NNDDAALL EE BBRREEW WII N NG G CCO OM MPPA AN N YY (Birmingham) Umphrey’s McGee September 10 CC OOTT TT OONN --EEYY EE DD JJOO EE’’ SS (Knoxville) Shooter Jennings With Waymore’s Outlaws September 10 PPUU BBLLII CC SS QQUUAARREE PPAARRKK (Nashville) “Live on The Green” Rodrigo y Gabriela, Delta Rae, JD McPherson, Kopecky, Humming House, Civil Twilight September 10 CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY N NA ASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) BoDeans September 10 JJ ..JJ ..’’SS BBOO HHEE M MIIA A (Chattanooga) Danimal Planet, Los Colognes September 11 BBRRIIDD GGEESS TTOO NNEE AARREENN AA (Nashville) Lady Antebellum, Hunter Hayes, Sam Hunt September 11 TT HHEE M MA ASS Q QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Reverend Horton Heat, The Adicts September 11 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Dwight Yoakam September 11 VVAARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY HHOO UUSSEE (Atlanta) Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Xylouris White September 11 TT HHEE LLOO FFTT (Atlanta) Rita Ora September 11 TT HHEE FFOO UUNN DDRRYY (Athens, GA) Shawn Mullins September 11 IIRROO NN CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Earl Sweatshirt, Remy Banks September 11 TT HHEE CC OONN CCOO UURRSSEE (Knoxville) J.J. Grey & Mofro September 11 OO LLDD CC IITT YY CC OOUURRTT YY AARRDD (Knoxville) Lil Jon September 11 JJ ..JJ ..’’SS BBOO HHEE M MIIA A (Chattanooga) Megan Saunders and the Driftless, The Sweet Sisters, Rye Baby September 12 M EEM M MO O RRIIA ALL A AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Avett Brothers September 12 CC OOBBBB EE NNEE RRGGYY PPEERRFF OORRM MIIN NG GA ARRTTSS CCEE N NTT EERR (Atlanta) Josh Groban September 12 PPHH IILLIIPPSS AARREE NNAA (Atlanta) Ed Sheeran, Christina Perri September 12 AAAARROO NN’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Atlanta) “One Music Fest” The Roots, Ms. Lauryn Hill, Wale, Big K.R.I.T., A$AP Rocky, Janelle Monáe, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, Scarface, 8Ball & MJG, Jidenna, Sza, St. Beauty, Raury, Deep Cotton, Roman GianArthur, The Internet September 12 EE DDDDII EE’’ SS AATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Angie Stone September 12 4400 W WA ATTTT CC LLU UBB (Athens, GA) Best Coast September 12 PPUU BBLLII CC SS QQUUAARREE PPAARRKK (Nashville) Ben Folds, All Them Witches, Anderson East, Elle King, Kaleo, Lennon & Maisy, The Districts September 12 TT HHEE IINN TTEE RRNNAATT IIOONN AALL (Knoxville) Buckcherry, Saving Abel, Of Texas September 12 BBRRIIDD GGEESS TTOO NNEE AARREENN AA (Nashville) Ed Sheeran, Christina Perri September 13 TT HHEE M MA ASS Q QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) “HardDrive Live Tour” Tremonti, Trivium September 13 HH EELLLL AATT TTHH EE M MA ASSQ QU U EERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) The Atomic Bitchwax, Mos Generator September 13 AASSCC EE NNDD AAM MPPH HIITT H H EEA ATT EERR (Nashville) Daryl Hall & John Oates September 14 EE XXIITT// IINN (Nashville) Swervedriver September 14 VVAARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY HHOO UUSSEE (Atlanta) Snarky


Puppy September 14 TT H HEE CCO ON NCC O OU URRSSEE (Knoxville) Three Days Grace September 14 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Blues Traveler September 15 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Three Days Grace September 15 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Nashville) Steve Earle, The Mastersons September 15 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Earl Sweatshirt, Remy Banks September 15 TT H HEE N NIICC K K (Birmingham) Skinny Lister September 15 SSA ATT U URRN N (Birmingham) Andrew W.K. September 15 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Steve Earle, The Mastersons September 15 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Blues Traveler September 16 GEE O G ORRG G IIAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Athens, GA) Diarrhea Planet September 16 4400 W WAATT TT CC LLU UBB (Athens, GA) Swervedriver, Gateway Drugs September 16 FFA AM M IILLYY W WAASSH H (Nashville) Will Kimbrough September 16 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Folk Killer, Ebony Eyes September 17 O AAK O KM MTT N N.. AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Pelham, AL) Van Halen, Kenny Wayne Shepherd September 17 PPU URRG G AATTO O RRYY AATT TTH H EE M M AASSQ QU UEERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Skinny Lister September 17 TT H HEE FFAACC TT O ORRYY AATT FFRRAAN NK K LLIIN N (Franklin, TN) Shemekia Copeland, The Mavericks, Joel Rafael September 17 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) SOCRO CD Release Party September 18 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Billy Idol September 18 EEXXIITT // IIN N (Nashville) Kap Slap September 18 SSCC H HEE RRM MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CC EE N NTT EERR (Nashville) George Benson September 18 CC O OBBBB EE N NEERRG G YY PPEERRFFO O RRM MIIN NG G AARRTT SS CC EEN N TT EERR (Atlanta) Kristin Chenoweth September 18 SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Seth MacFarlane September 18 PPIIEED DM MO ON NTT PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Music Midtown” Elton John, Drake, Alice In Chains, Hozier, Kodaline, Jenny Lewis, Tove Lo, Catfish And The Bottlemen, August Alsina, Metric, Elliot Moss, Jamie N Commons September 18 CC A AM MPP FFEE SSTT (Camp Blue Ridge, GA) Cold War Kids, Hey Rosetta!, Langhorne Slim, The Whigs, Margo & the Pricetags, Alanna Royale September 18 HO H OM MEE RR H HAAM M IILLTT O ON N AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Knoxville) Warrant September 18 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Bombadil, Kingsley Flood, Antrony D’Amato September 19 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Xylouris White September 19 ASSCC EEN A ND D AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT RREE (Nashville) Loretta Lynn, Steve Earle, Gillian Welch, Tift Merritt,Eric Haywood, Nikki Lane September 19 TT H HEE W WAARREEH HO OU U SSEE (Clarksville, TN) Burn Halo, Heartist September 19 CC A AM MPP FFEE SSTT (Camp Blue Ridge, GA) Cold War Kids, Hey Rosetta!, Langhorne Slim, The Whigs, Margo & the Pricetags, Alanna Royale September 19 PPIIEED DM MO ON NTT PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Music Midtown” Van Halen, Lenny Kravitz, Daryl Hall & John Oates, Billy Idol, Sam Smith, Run The

Jewels, Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness, Colony House, Icona Pop, The Airborne Toxic Event, X Ambassadors, Panic! At The Disco, Elle King, New Politics, Alessia Cara, Vance Joy, Vinyl Theatre, Rozzi Crane September 19 VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Kip Moore, Dierks Bentley, Maddie & Tae, Canaan Smith September 19 LLEEG GA ACCYY A ARREE N NA AA ATT TT H HEE BBJJCC CC (Birmingham) Ariana Grande, Prince Royce September 20 CCA AM M PP FFEE SSTT (Camp Blue Ridge, GA) Cold War Kids, Hey Rosetta!, Langhorne Slim, The Whigs, Margo & the Pricetags, Alanna Royale September 20 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Awkward Sex and the City- Comedy Showcase September 21 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Samantha Fish September 21 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Gloom, Red Necklace, Generator Earth September 22 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Ariana Grande, Prince Royce September 22 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Indigo Girls September 22 FFRRA AN NK K LLIIN N TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Franklin, TN) Restless Heart, Charlie McCoy, Michael Lington September 22 ASSCC EEN A ND DA AM MPPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Nashville) Daryl Hall & John Oates September 23 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Kacey Musgraves September 23 MEE M M MO ORRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Chattanooga) Chris Young, Eric Paslay, Clare Dunn September 24 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Comedy Buffet w/ Louis Katz September 24 TTH H EE LLIIBBRRA ARRYY TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Hoover, AL) The Blind Boys of Alabama September 24 4400 W WA ATT TT CCLLU U BB (Athens, GA) Helmet September 24 GEE O G ORRG G IIA A TT H HEEA ATT RREE (Athens, GA) Beats Antique September 24 HIIG H GH HW WA ATTTT (Nashville) Steve’n’Seagulls September 24 CCA AN NN NEE RRYY BBA ALLLL RRO OO OM M (Nashville) Eagles of Death Metal September 24 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons September 24 TT-- BBO ON NEE ’’SS (Chattanooga) Georgia Pine September 25 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Taylor Swift, Vance Joy September 25 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Arlo Guthrie, Sarah Lee Guthrie September 25 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons September 25 TTH H EE LLIIBBRRA ARRYY TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Hoover, AL) The Blind Boys of Alabama September 25 TTU U SSCC A ALLO OO O SSA AA AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Tuscaloosa) The Spinners September 25 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Eagles of Death Metal September 25 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Nick Jonas, Bebe Rexha September 25 JJJJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) WAXFANG September 26 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Beats Antique September 26 BBRRIID DG G EESSTT O ON N EE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Taylor Swift, Vance Joy September 26 SSCC H HEERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN N TTEE RR

ENIGMA

AUGUST 27 2015

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(Nashville) Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons September 26 PPA ARRK K AATT H H AARRLLIIN NSSD D AALLEE FFAARRM M (Franklin, TN) “Pilgrimage Music & Cultural Festival” Wilco, Weezer, Sheryl Crow, Cage The Elephant, Neko Case, Iron & Wine, Dr. John, Punch Brothers, Trampled By Turtles, Saint Motel, Madisen Ward And The Mama Bear, Joe Pug, Holly Williams, Will Hoge, Elel, Guthrie Brown, Kingfish September 26 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) J Balvin, Becky G September 26 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Janet Jackson September 26 MCC D M DO ON NO OU UG GH H FF IIEELLD D (Atlanta) Indigo Girls September 26 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Calexico, Gaby Moreno September 26 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Marlow Drive, Steve Burks, The Vansaders September 27 PPA ARRK K AATT H H AARRLLIIN NSSD D AALLEE FFAARRM M (Franklin, TN) “Pilgrimage Music & Cultural Festival” Willie Nelson, The Decemberists, Band Of Horses, Jimmy Cliff, Dawes, St. Paul And The Broken Bones, Chris Stapleton, The Lone Bellow, Lucius, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Charles Bradley, Nikki Lane, Big Sam’s Funky Nation, John & Jacob September 27 CC IITT YY W WII N NEERRYY N N AASSH HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Arlo Guthrie, Sarah Lee Guthrie September 27 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AARREEN N AA (Atlanta) Marc Anthony, Carlos Vives September 27 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Yo La Tengo September 27 VVEELLVVEETT U UN ND DEE RRG GRRO OU UN ND D (Atlanta) Byrne And Kelly September 27

RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Kraftwerk September 27 ASSCC EEN A ND DA AM MPPH H IITT H HEE A ATTEE RR (Nashville) Janet Jackson September 27 SSA ATT U URRN N (Birmingham) Gene Ween September 27 PPA ARRK KA ATT H HA ARRLLII N NSSD DA ALLEE FF A ARRM M (Franklin, TN) Willie Nelson, Charles Bradley, The Decemberists, Wilco, Trampled By Turtles, Dawes September 28 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A (Chattanooga) Altercation Punk Comedy Tour September 29 TTH H EE EE A ARRLL (Atlanta) Albert Hammond Jr. September 29 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Lucinda Williams September 29 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Dawes, John Moreland September 29 EEXXIITT //II N N (Nashville) Albert Hammond Jr. September 30 TTH H EE BBA ASS EEM MEE N NTT EEA ASS TT (Nashville) MuteMath September 30 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) George Ezra September 30 TTH H EE FFA ACC TTO O RRYY A ATT FF RRA AN NK KLLII N N (Franklin, TN) Webb Wilder, Jason & the Scorchers, Will Kimbrough, Todd Snider September 30 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Mother’s Finest September 30 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Lucinda Williams September 30 TTU U RRN NEERR FFIIEELL D D (Atlanta) Sam Hunt October 1 EED DD DIIEE’’ SS A ATT TT IICC (Atlanta) Bonnie Bishop, Paul McDonald October 1 CCA ALL EED DO ON NIIA A LLO OU UN NG GEE (Athens, GA) Gringo Star October 1 4400 W WA ATT TT CCLLU U BB (Athens, GA) Kristen Hersh

ENIGMA

October1 RRO O SSSS’’ LLAAN ND DIIN NG G PPAARRK K (Chattanooga) “Three Sisters Music Festival” Dismembered Tennesseans, Mae, Hot Rize October 2 JJ..JJ..’’SS BBO OH H EEM MIIAA (Chattanooga) Green Jelly, Hatestomp, Mudsex October 2 RREE D D CC LLAAYY TT H HEE AATTRREE (Duluth, GA) Bob Mould October 2 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Brandi Carlile, Torres October 2 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) K. Michelle, Azealia Banks October 2 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Lucero October 2 ASSCCEE N A ND D AAM MPPH H IITTH H EEAATT EERR (Nashville) Lynyrd Skynyrd October 2 VVO ON N BBRRAAU UN N CC EEN N TTEE RR (Huntsville) John Prine, Jason Isbell October 2 ALLYYSS RRO A OBBIIN N SSO ON N SSTT EEPPH H EEN NSS PPEERRFFO O RRM MIIN NG G ARRTT SS CC EEN A N TT EERR (Birmingham) Chick Corea and Béla Fleck October 2 RRO O SSSS’’ LLAAN ND DIIN NG G PPAARRK K (Chattanooga) “Three Sisters Music Festival” Dismembered Tennesseans, Frank Solivan, Michael Cleveland And Flamekeeper, Front Country, The Travelin’ McCourys October 3 SSCCH HW WAARRTT ZZ CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Chick Corea and Bela Fleck October 3 CCEE N NTT RRAALL PPAARRK K (Atlanta) “Afro-Punk Festival” D’Angelo, Thundercat October 3 VVIIN N YYLL (Atlanta) MuteMath October 3 TTH H EE TT AABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Collective Soul October 3 CCA AN ND DLLEERR PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Gringo Star October 3 CCIITT YY W WIIN N EERRYY N NAASSH H VVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Bob Mould October 3

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RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Brandi Carlile, Torres October 3 CC O OU UN NTT RRYY TTO ON NIITT EE TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Pigeon Forge, TN) Ray Stevens October 3 H AARRRRAAH H H’’ SS CC H HEE RRO OK KEE EE CC A ASSIIN NO O (Cherokee) Shinesdown October 3 CC EEN N TTEE N NN N IIAALL O O LLYYM M PPIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Foo Fighters October 4 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Brandi Carlile October 4 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS AAM MPPH H IITT H HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) “Funny Or Die Presents The Oddball Comedy & Curiosity Festival” Aziz Ansari, Amy Schumer October 4 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Godsmack October 5 RRH H YYTT H HM M && BBRREEW W SS (Chattanooga) “Monster Energy Outbreak Tour” Nothing More, Marmozets, Turbowolf, Separations October 5 BBRRIID DG GEESS TTO ON NEE AARREEN N AA (Nashville) Foo Fighters October 5 SSCC H H EERRM MEE RRH HO O RRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON N YY CCEE N NTT EERR (Nashville) K. Michelle, Azealia Banks October 5 G EEO G O RRG GIIAA TT H H EEAATT RREE (Athens, GA) Minus the Bear, O’Brother, Aero Flynn October 5 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Disclosure October 5 TT RRA ACCK K 2299 (Chattanooga) Rhiannon Giddens October 6 JJ ..JJ ..’’SS BBO OH HEE M MIIAA (Chattanooga) Okinawa, Mike Coykendall October 6 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND D SSLLEE YY (Nashville) The Chris Robinson Brotherhood October 6 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Twenty One


Pilots, Echosmith October 6 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Chrome Pony, Left and Right October 7 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Twenty One Pilots, Echosmith October 7 O AAK O KM MO OU UN NTT AAIIN N PPRREESSBBYY TT EERRIIAAN N (Birmingham) Alt-J October 8 SSA ATT U URRN N (Birmingham) Rubblebucket, Elel October 8 VVO ON N BBRRAAU UN N CCEE N NTT EERR (Huntsville) Miranda Lambert, RaeLynn, Clare Dunn, Courtney Cole October 8 TT H HEE FFO OU UN ND D RRYY (Athens, GA) Aaron Carter October 8 GEE O G ORRG G IIAA TT H HEE AATTRREE (Athens, GA) Lake Street Dive October 8 TT --BBO ON N EE’’ SS (Chattanooga) Ramble in the Attic October 9 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Paleface October 9 ASSCC EEN A ND D AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT EERR (Nashville) Florence + The Machine October 9 CC A ARRLL BBLLAACC K K CC H HEE VVYY W WO OO OD D SS AAM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTEE RR ATT FFO A ON NTT AAN NEE LL (Whites Creek, TN) Kid Rock October 9 WO W O RRK KPPLLAAYY TTH H EEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Aaron Carter October 9 TT U USSCC AALLO OO OSSAA AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Tuscaloosa, AL) Alabama October 9 4400 W WAATT TT CC LLU UBB (Athens, GA) Wavves, Twin Peaks, Steep Leans October 9 LLIIVVEE W WIIRREE AATT H H EEN NSS (Athens, GA) Rubbkebucket, Elel October 9 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Ghost, Purson October 9 JJ..JJ..’’ SS BBO OH HEEM M IIAA (Chattanooga) Fly Golden Eagle, Clear Plastic Masks October 10 ASSCC EEN A ND D AAM M PPH HIITT H HEE AATT EERR (Nashville) Grace Potter, Lake Street Dive October 10 CC A ARRLL BBLLAACC K K CC H HEE VVYY W WO OO OD D SS AAM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTEE RR ATT FFO A ON NTT AAN NEE LL (Whites Creek, TN) Kid Rock October 10 CC H HAASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Jackson Browne, Larry Campbell and Teresa Williams October 10 VVIIN NYY LL (Atlanta) The Dear Hunter, Chon, Gates October 10 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREELLEE SSSS AAM M PPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, One Ok Rock October 10 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Warren Haynes, ChessBoxer October 10 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Danzig, Superjoint Ritual, Veil of Maya, Prong, Witch Mountain October 10 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Leela James, Raheem DeVaughn,V Bozeman October 11 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Winery Dogs October 12 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Seether, Saint Asonia October 13 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Warren Haynes, ChessBoxer October 13 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Ben Sollee October 14 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD DIITT O O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Patty Griffin, Darlingside October 14 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Patty Griffin, Darlingside October 15 TT EERRM MII N NAALL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Old 97’s October 15 TT H HEE TTAABBEE RRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Korn October 15 CC EEN NTT EE RR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) Joe Jackson October 15

CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) The Ann Wilson Thing October 15 TTEE N NN N EESSSSEE EE TT H H EEA ATT RREE (Knoxville) Grace Potter October 15 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Frank Caliendo, George Kanter October 16 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Walk The Moon October 16 MA M ARRA ATT H HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Great White, Slaughter October 16 TTH H EE SSQ QU UA A RREE RRO OO OM M (Knoxville) Lera Lynn October 16 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Maddie & Tae October 17 TTH H EE A ARREEN NA AA ATT G GW WIIN NN NEETT TT CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Chris Tomlin, Rend Collective October 17 AA A ARRO ON N SS A AM MPPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE (Atlanta) Florida Georgia Line, Frankie Ballard, Thomas Rhett October 17 TTH H EE M MA ASSQ QU UEERRA AD D EE (Atlanta) New Found Glory, Yellowcard, Tiger Jaw October 17 FFO O XX TTH H EEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) “Festival of Praise Tour” Hezekiah Walker, Fred Hammond, Donnie McClurkin, Kim Burrell, Isaac Carree, Zacardi Cortez October 17 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Don Henley October 17 CCLL A AYYTT O ON N CC EEN N TTEE RR FFO O RR TT H HEE A ARRTTSS (Maryville, TN) Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell October 17 AVVO A ON ND DA ALLEE BBRREE W WIIN NG G CC O OM M PPA AN NYY (Birmingham) “Cask and Drum” Warren Haynes, Green River Ordinance, The Suffers, Great Peacock October 17 IIRRO ON N CCII TTYY (Birmingham) Walk The Moon October 18 VVII N NYY LL (Atlanta) Family Force 5, Born Cages October 18 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Don Henley October 18 VVA ARRII EETT YY PPLL A AYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Elvis Costello October 19 CCEE N NTT EERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) Hanson October 19 WIILLD W DH HO O RRSS EE SSA ALLO OO ON N (Nashville) The Winery Dogs October 20 BBU UCC K KH HEE A AD D TT H HEE A ATT RREE (Atlanta) Aer, Cody Simpson October 20 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Zedd, Dillon Francis, Madeon, Alex Metric October 20 CCO O BBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEE RRFFO O RRM M IIN NG GA ARRTT SS CC EEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) John Cleese / Eric Idle October 21 SSA ATT U URRN N (Birmingham) The Polyphonic Spree October 21 MEE RRCC YY LLO M OU UN NG G EE (Nashville) Of Montreal, Diane Coffee October 21 SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALLLL (Atlanta) Boz Scaggs October 22 PPH HIILLII PPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Ricky Martin October 22 TTH H EE IIN NTT EERRN NA ATTIIO ON NA ALL (Knoxville) Soulfly, Soilwork, Decapitated, Shattered Sun October 22 OA O AK K RRIID DG G EE H H IIG GH H SSCC H HO OO OLL PPEERRFFO O RRM MIIN NG G ARRTTSS CCEE N A NTT EERR (Oak Ridge, TN) Pat Boone October 22 WO W ORRK KPPLLA AYY BBA ARR (Birmingham) Meiko, Emerson Hart October 22 TTH H EE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLL EE (Atlanta) Sturgill Simpson October 23 VVEERRIIZZO ON NW W IIRREELLEE SSSS A AM M PPH H IITT H HEE A ATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Eric Young Scott Paslay, Clare Dunn October 23 GEE O G ORRG G IIA A TT H HEEA ATT RREE (Athens, GA) The Polyphonic Spree October 23 CCII TTYY W WIIN N EERRYY N NA ASS H HVVIILLLLEE (Nashville) Poi Dog

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Pondering, Robert Ellis Orrall October 23 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH H EEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Diarrhea Planet October 23 TTRRA ACC K K 2299 (Chattanooga) Seether, Saint Asonia October 24 TTH H EE CC AAM MPP H HO OU U SSEE (Chattanooga) The Bright Light Social Hour, Firekid October 24 GEEO G O RRG GIIAA D DO OM M EE (Atlanta) Taylor Swift, Vance Joy, Shawn Mendes October 24 CCH H AASSTT AAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Mark Knopfler October 24 TTH H EE EE AARRLL (Atlanta) Diarrhea Planet October 24 TTEE RRM MIIN NAALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) The Polyphonic Spree October 24 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) The Devil Makes Three October 24 IIRRO ON N CCIITT YY (Birmingham) Dan + Shay, Kelsey Balerini October 24 ZZYYD D EECC O O (Birmingham) Blessthefall, Stickto Your Guns, Emarosa, Oceans Ate Alaska, Cane Hill October 25 EED DD D IIEE’’ SS AATT TT IICC (Atlanta) David Ryan Harris, Melissa Polinar October 25 SSYYM M PPH HO ON NYY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Chris Cornell October 26 4400 W WAATT TT CC LLU U BB (Athens, GA) Gang of Four October 26 RRO O CC K KEETT O OW WN N (Nashville) Blessthefall, Stick to Your Guns, Emorosa, Oceans Ate Alaska, Cane Hill October 26 RRYY M MAA N N AAU UD D IITT O ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Chris Cornell, Hemming October 27 MAARRAATT H M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Chvrches October 27 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTT EE RR (Nashville) Don McLean October 28

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TT H HEE M MAASS Q QU UEE RRAAD DEE (Atlanta) Babes In Toyland October 28 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WIIRREE LLEESSSS AAM MPPH HII TTH H EEA ATT RREE A ATT EE N NCC O ORREE PPAARRK K (Alpharetta, GA) Modest Mouse October 28 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Margaret Cho October 29 SSA ATT U URRN N (Birmingham) Babes In Toyland October 29 EE XXIITT// IIN N (Nashville) Family Force 5, Born Cages October 30 BBJJCC CC CC O ON N CCEE RRTT H H AALLLL (Birmingham) SWV October 30 VVA ARRIIEETT YY PPLLAAYY H HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Blue Oyster Cult October 30 TT --BBO ON NEE’’ SS (Chattanooga) Georgia Pine October 31 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) David Nail October 31 RRYY M MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Sturgill Simpson November 1 ASSCC EE N A ND D AAM MPPH HIITT H H EEAATT RREE (Nashville) Dierks Bentley, Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett, Cole Swindell, The Cadillac Three, Canaan Smith, Brooke Eden November 1 CC IITT YY W WIIN NEE RRYY N N AASSH H VVIILL LLEE (Nashville) Psychedelic Furs November 1 EE XXIITT// IIN N (Nashville) Babes In Toyland November 2 TT H HEE TT AABBEERRN NAACC LLEE (Atlanta) Chance the Rapper, Metro Boomin, D.R.A.M., Towkio November 2 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Psychedelic Furs November 2 IIRRO ON N CC IITT YY (Birmingham) Soul Asylum, Meat Puppets November 3


My Open Letter To Bernie Sanders: Socialists Need Not Apply! Bernie Sanders, uber-liberal Senator from Vermont, has caused quite a splash traipsing around the campaign trail, scaring the pants suits off Hillary Clinton, declaring in "socialist-speak" his intentions on changing our most basic ways of life here in the United States. His On the Issues treatise posted on his website reads more like Karl Marx's The Communist Manifesto than John Kenneth Galbraith's American Capitalism.

statements and proposes remedies to problems that are the basis of his far-left ideology. He asks, "Do we continue the 40year decline of our middle class and the growing gap between the very rich and everyone else, or do we fight for a progressive economic agenda that creates jobs, raises wages, protects the environment and provides health care for all?" He discusses eight areas of American life he intends to change: Income and Wealth Inequality, Getting Big In it, he makes bold and brash Money Out of Politics, Creating

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Decent Paying Jobs, Racial Justice, A Living Wage, Real Family Values, Climate Change & Environment, Reforming Wall Street. Nothing too unusual in these topics until you read his solutions to his perceived deficiencies therein. In each, he offers his alternatives, which most often are quite radical and beyond the norm.

country on earth. In fact, inequality is worse now than at any other time in American history since the 1920s." What he doesn't say specifically are his intentions to initiate some plan of income redistribution which will "take from the rich and give to the poor," a communist philosophy as proposed by Karl Marx.

On the topic of income and wealth: "In the United States, we have one of the most unequal wealth and income distributions of any major

In his section "Racial Justice," Sanders reveals more of his progressive nature: "We must pursue policies that transform this country into a nation that

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affirms the value of its people of color." He lists "... the four central types of violence waged against black and brown Americans: physical, political, legal and economic." And, "We need a societal transformation to make it clear that black lives matter... " (Gee, Bernie, don't all lives matter equally?) "We must demilitarize our police forces... " Bernie proposes. I envision a Bernie-world of British-style policemen carrying night sticks vice guns. The gang bangers will love that! Sanders' standing in the African-American community is not what he'd like. He is seeking desperately to improve it. The headlines, Tuesday, August 18, CNN Politics: Bernie Sanders meets with 'long-time friend' Jesse Jackson, an article by Dan Merica. In it, Merica reveals that Sanders has had his problems with African-Americans in his campaign: "Since launching

Matter, a nationwide movement focused on the death of African-American men and women at the hand of police, ended a Sanders' appearance earlier this month in Seatle and have protested a handful of other events." Jackson has been a long-time ally of Sanders and his point of view. Jackson's advice to Sanders: Define socialism "in a way that takes away the label they are trying to put on him."

his presidential campaign earlier this year, Sanders has been dogged by questions about his ability to effectively advocate

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Sanders continues his thoughts on "Racial Justice": "Thirteen percent of African-American men have lost the right to vote due to felony convictions. This should offend the conscience of every American." True, felons lose their night to vote, but what offends me is that for criminal justice reform and you, Bernie, don't hold them win over African-American vot- responsible for that. Consider ers. Protestors from Black Lives this: If they had not committed a felony, they would be wel-

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vation pay and must become a living wage. We must increase it to $15 an hour over the next several years... " This proves only two things: Bernie, you know squat about business, and you reveal your steadfast position of government-as-theanswer-to-all-problems, which is fundamentally flawed in suggesting such tampering with the minimum wage as a counter to low paying jobs.

paid sick leave per year for American workers. What would be the effect on small businesses if either or both of these bills were passed? Sanders has no concern for businesses, small or large, nor does he even consider them when he proposes these types of jobkilling laws. In the socialist's eyes, business is not paramount in our lives, only redistribution of wealth.

Discussing "Family Values" shines an even brighter light on Sanders' beliefs: He has cosponsored a bill with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand which would guarantee every employee twelve weeks of paid family In the "Living Wage" discussion, and medical leave, and another Bernie offers up,"The current with Sen. Patty Murray which federal minimum wage is star- would guarantee seven days of

Lastly, Bernie addresses his concerns for "Climate Change & Environment" by aligning with Senator Barbara Boxer to tax carbon and methane emissions, opposing the Keystone XL pipeline, and securing $3.2 billion in the economic stimulus package for grants to reduce greenhouse gas emission. No doubt climate and the environment are worthy of and require study, and there may be a need to address improving our approach to clean up pollution, reduce carbon emissions, and diminish our dependence on fossil fuels. I am not sure Sanders has the answers without government overreach.

come at the polls. Make sense? "We need to re-enfranchise the more than two million African Americans who have had their right to vote taken away by a felony conviction." In some selective instances, I would agree we could take a look at doing that, but not just AfricanAmericans should be included. "Today in America, if you are black, you can be killed for getting a pack of Skittles during a basketball game." Is he suggesting that blacks are targets of the police or whites? What Bernie fails to mention is that the facts are overwhelmingly that blacks-killing-blacks crime is ten times the norm.

Not listed in his On The Issues is his proposed education reform, the radical suggestion that there be free undergraduate tuition at four-year public universities and colleges. (President Obama recently proposed the same for two-year community college tuition for students who meet certain requirements.) I will concede that costs have sky rocketed to levels not affordable to many young scholars seeking a college education, and I support some form of getting them down to acceptable levels. Colleges have out priced a four year education to the extent those who do attempt to obtain ENIGMA

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one find themselves graduating with a degree but buried in immense debt, which they may never be able to repay. In this respect, I agree with Sanders that an education is too expensive, but not in giving it out to everyone for free. Admittedly, Bernie Sanders is an irascible old cuss, although a very likeable curmudgeon-he reminds me of the two characters in the movie Grumpy Old Men. I am ecstatic with the fright he gives to Hillary Clinton who is pressed to lean farther left rather than employ Bill's more center-left approach to getting elected. He's contentious, rousing, and thought-provoking as he draws crowds eager to hear his collectivist message, hoping he has something in it for them. He is fun to observe, fun to "hate", fun to listen to; as a president I don't trust his ideology. As David Russell, in his latest article in The Hill, "Does Sanders Now Need to Change Strategy," points out, "To know Sanders is to know that he isn't going to make any wholesale changes to who he is, or who he has been for the past 40 years... " No, Bernie, I don't believe I'll be voting for you in November 2016. You scare me with your dogma replete with too-much government meddling in our lives. As the Irish experienced in New York in their early years, here's the sign you'll see in my window should you come knocking on my door seeking my vote: "President Wanted: Socialists Need Not Apply."

- Dennis Copson


MONEY MANAGEMENT

WEALTH MANAGEMENT: THE SECRET TO GETTING AND STAYING RICH Everyone knows how important it is to get the next promotion, the higher salary, the longer title. The bigger your paycheck, the wealthier you will be, right? Wrong. Getting the money is definitely important, but what matters even more is what you do with it. That is where a little professional advice makes all the difference in the world. For most people, "wealth management" brings to mind a picture of gentlemen in fancy suits sitting around a corner office in a glass skyscraper in Manhattan. That's their first mistake. Wealth management is for everyone with an income or assets, which means it is for just about everyone. You see, money coming in is only the first step. How much should you set aside for savings? Retirement? Vacation? Housing? Investments? Don't worry. Most people don't know these numbers off the top of their head. That is why you go to a professional for help.

your car and your lawn. Why? Sure, you COULD become an expert in all of those things, but you don't have the time to devote to mastering every little thing. Your time is better used elsewhere (which is one element of the process: figuring out where your money can best work for you). The same thing is true of your money. By letting a professional help you determine how to structure your assets to reach your goals, you free up time to do the things that are important to you.

Many wealth managers work on a fee-only basis. When you have some work for them to do, they will help you figure out what needs to be done and let you know what that will cost. That means that they are not sitting around, collecting a check while they watch the numbers in your bank accounts. Like other professionals, they are available when you need them. As financial systems grow more complex and the economy rapidly evolves,

What can wealth management do? Well, pretty much anything you want it to. Say you want to retire at 35, for example. A professional manager can crunch the numbers and tell you how to get there from where you're at currently. You can also set smaller goals, like pay down a credit card, save up for a car, or take a vacation. Wealth managers are trained to look at available assets and find their most efficient usages. They can help you streamline your budget, take control of your debt, or plan for the next stage of your career.

"But I don't need someone to tell me how to manage my money!" Why not? You use someone to manage your health, your legal issues, often your taxes, sometimes your computers, maybe even What about the expense? ENIGMA

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having someone at the other end of the phone can be a very valuable tool. Good relationships are critical in life. I'm sure you know a good plumber, electrician, and mechanic for a pinch. A wealth management professional should be on that same list. After all, your life is yours to make of it what you wish to.

- Andrew Stratton


The Kinks’ transvestite-themed single “Lola” is released...the song, which revived the band’s flagging popularity, was inspired by their manager unknowingly dancing with a transgender...Ray Davies had to re-record the line “You drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola” at the last minute over trademark concerns with the original version, “…it tastes just like Coca-Cola”...Lola reappears in “Paranoia,” a later Kinks song…

1 994499 :: Country music giant Hank 1 Williams records his classic weeper “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”…inspired by his troubled marriage, Williams originally intended to speak rather than sing the mournful lyrics… 1 995588 :: “Summertime Blues,” Eddie 1 Cochran’s biggest hit, enters the Billboard Top 100, where it will peak at #8 and sell over a million copies...much covered by other artists, it will be a No. 1 hit for Alan Jackson and sell beaucoup singles in versions by The Who and Blue Cheer…this same week the doowopping Elegants score the No. 1 single with “Little Star,” their reworking of a Mozart lullaby…one-hit wonders, their star will soon fade… 1 9966 33:: “Be My Baby” by The Ronettes 1 hits the charts...the song will later be cited as the perfect pop song by Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys— with strong traces of it heard in Brian’s own “Don’t Worry Baby”, released by The Beach Boys on May 11, 1964…

cert stage, and they take photos of each other between songs…during this tour the band hasn’t played a single song off the newly released Revolver LP, and they end the show with Little Richard’s “Long Tall Sally” a setlist staple going back to their Hamburg days… 199 6677 :: The Beatles take a break from 1 recording to study transcendental meditation with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in Wales…they will later grow disenchanted with the roly-poly Indian guru…this same week Beatles manager Brian Epstein dies from an overdose of sleeping pills…

Scholz’s momentum-killing perfectionist leanings...by this time most of the supporting players, including Sib Hashian and his afro have left the band in frustration…this same week a court rules that George Harrison subconsciously plagiarized “He’s So Fine,” a 1963 hit for The Chiffons, in writing his song “My Sweet Lord”…after much legal wrangling, payment is made ten years later…to further cash in on the controversy, The Chiffons issue their cover of “My Sweet 19 71 : Paul McCartney’s jaunty single Lord” while Harrison records “This “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” is Song” expressing his frustration the No. 1 pop hit of the week…the over the whole mess… former Beatle reveals that he actually had an Uncle Albert who used 11 9977 77 :: Three people are nabbed in to get drunk and quote the Bible… Memphis attempting to steal the remains of Elvis...to foil further 199 7766 :: Boston releases their self- attempts, the late King is moved 1 titled debut album...it spawns three from the cemetery to a more hit singles and shoots to the top of secure resting place at Graceland… the charts and remains the fastestselling debut albums of all time 11 99 77 88:: The hard-rocking “My until it’s finally unseated by Sharona” by The Knack reaches the Whitney Houston’s debut LP in No. 1 slot on the pop chart…it’s 1986...ironically, 1986 is the same been more than a year since anyyear Boston finally releases its thing other than ballads and disco third album, their release cycle have held the top slot…but this slowed by founder-guitarist Tom same week, as a measure of funk’s

199 6688 :: The Beatles release the single 1 “Hey Jude,” which eclipses Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” as the longest single to receive airplay by nearly a minute at 7:06...it is the first release from newly formed Apple Records and becomes The Beatles biggest hit, going to No. 1 around the world...the recording took two days and involved a 36piece orchestra that also provided hand claps and sang the na-nanahs on the fadeout...the epic ballad begins with Paul McCartney playing the piano and ends with 50 layered instruments…

1 9966 44:: Following their show at the 1 Forest Hills Tennis Stadium, the Beatles meet and hang out with Bob Dylan in a New York hotel where he introduces the lads to 119 6 9: The Rolling Stones’ single marijuana… “Street Fighting Man” is released…written by Mick Jagger 1 9966 55:: Taking a break from their U.S. after attending an anti-Vietnam 1 tour, The Beatles drop in on a War protest at the U.S. embassy in Byrds recording session in L.A., London, it’s the Stones’ most overtthen later that day meet Elvis at the ly political song to date…the single King’s Beverly Hills mansion…the never gets above #48 on the U.S. Fab Four are underwhelmed by pop chart as many radio stations Presley’s personality…John Lennon refuse to play it… remarks afterwards, “Where’s Elvis? It was like meeting Engelbert 1199 77 00:: Duane Allman begins recordHumperdinck”… ing sessions as a member of Derek & The Dominos...frontman Eric 1 9966 66:: The Beatles play their final Clapton praises Allman as the cata1 concert date in front of a sold-out lyst in an LP project that wraps in crowd of 25,000 at San Francisco’s just 10 days after producing Layla Candlestick Park…unlike the audi- and Other Assorted Love Songs, ence, the Fab Four know it’s the one the most acclaimed rock last time they’ll appear on a con- albums of all time…this same week ENIGMA

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popularity, 67,000 fans flock to Chicago’s Soldier Field for the first annual One Nation Under a Groove Festival featuring A Taste of Honey, Parlet, Con Funk Shun, the BarKays and Parliament-Funkadelic…

13 fellow Cuban musicians all given special visas by the U.S. State Department…though no culprit is found, it is suspected the bomb scare came from an anti-Castro Cuban source…

11 9988 66:: Paul Simon releases his landmark album Graceland…featuring a host of top South African artists, the record gives a big surge to world music sales…

22000000:: Slipknot raises hell at the Kerrang Awards, smashing glasses, trashing a mic, tossing a monitor off the stage and setting their table alight…they win three awards including one for best live act…

11 9988 77:: CBS Records ships a recordsetting 2.25 million pre-ordered copies of Michael Jackson’s latest LP, Bad, to stores…it will sell 13 million worldwide…a huge number for any other artist, it’s a bit of a disappointment in the wake of Thriller and its 35 million copies sold…

22000011 :: Contemporary R&B star and actress Aaliyah dies along with eight others when their Cessna crashes and burns on takeoff in the Bahamas…she had just completed a video and was at the peak of her career…a string of posthumous releases have contributed to sales of more than 50 million records by 11 9988 99:: Izzy Stradlin of Guns N’ Roses the singer who was discovered on is arrested in Phoenix for causing a Star Search… public disturbance...he was on a flight from Los Angeles to 22000022:: Eminem draws boos at the Indianapolis when the plane made MTV Video Music Awards after he an unscheduled landing just to calls Moby a girl and tries to pick a dump him...Stradlin had verbally fight with the diminutive technoabused a flight attendant, urinated popper...he’s all het up because on the floor and smoked in the Moby called the rapper’s music non-smoking section of the misogynistic and homophobic...Em plane...Izzy was apparently also mixes it up with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog after Triumph angered by a long potty queue… tells the crowd “Eminem should 11 9999 00:: The world of rock and mod- lighten up. I mean, my mom was a ern blues takes a big hit when bitch too, but I don’t go writing Stevie Ray Vaughan is killed in a songs about it.”... Wisconsin helicopter crash that also takes the lives of three mem- 22000033 :: Two hundred fans are ejectbers of Eric Clapton’s entourage… ed from the Charlotte, North Carolina Ozzfest for alcohol and 11 9999 11:: Pearl Jam releases their first drug use...the show started at LP, Ten…it will sell more than 13 around 10 am and the first group of million copies and spin off three partied-out attendees is booted out hit singles, “Alive,” “Even Flow,” just after noon, proving Ozzy fans and “Jeremy”… are not into pacing themselves…

press reports on the contract riders for touring musicians: Ozzy Osbourne insists on an eye, ear, nose and throat doctor at each venue; The Beach Boys require a licensed masseur; Meat Loaf needs a mask and one small tank of oxygen; David Bowie asks that his dressing room temperature be between 14c and 18c; Paul McCartney must have a large arrangement of white Casablanca lilies in his dressing room and Mick Jagger requires an onstage teleprompter loaded with the lyrics to all Stones’ songs and the name of the city he’s performing in… 22000077:: The Stones wrap their Bigger Bang tour having grossed $558 million thus eclipsing the record formerly held by U2’s 2005 Vertigo tour that brought in a paltry $389 million...commenting on the end of the long-running tour, Mick Jagger acknowledges, “I’m sort of glad it’s done. I need to do some resting.”…this same week rapper Lil Wayne is sued for $1 million by a woman who says she was crushed by the crowd at a concert after a large sum of cash was tossed into the audience… 22000088:: A man who posted nine unre-

11 9999 33:: An acetate of a Beatles performance at Liverpool’s Cavern Club fetches £16,500 at Christie’s in London…it’s a record-setting price for such a recording…

22000044:: The British medical journal Thorax warns music fans that listening to ultra-powerful music systems in cars can cause collapsed lungs…this was the fate of a 19year-old Bristol, U.K. youth who 11 9999 44:: Jimmy Buffett crashes his sea- suffered the injury while listening plane during takeoff in Nantucket, to a 1000-watt system stuffed into Massachusetts…he safely swims his Fiat Panda… away from the wreckage… 22000055:: New Orleans R&B great Fats 11 9999 66:: Isaac Hayes, who co-wrote Domino is rescued after trying to the soul classic “Soul Man,” sends a ride out Hurricane Katrina in his letter of protest to Senator Bob home… Dole’s presidential campaign telling them to quit parodying the 22000066 :: Aerosmith bassist Tom song with their version “I’m a Dole Hamilton undergoes treatment for Man”… throat cancer forcing him to sit out the first half of the band’s Route of 11 9999 88:: A Miami concert by Compay All Evil Tour, the first shows he’s Segundo of Buena Vista Social Club ever missed...longtime band friend fame is interrupted by a bomb David Hull fills in until his threat…Segundo is accompanied by return....also this week, the British ENIGMA

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leased songs from the forthcoming Guns N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy recording sessions is arrested for violating a three-yearold law that prohibits such leaks…according to Kevin Cogill’s girlfriend, the cops, “... let me get him a shirt and shoes without laces before they took him away”…Cogill formerly worked at a Universal Records CD manufacturing plant and is today considered one of the major sources of illegal file sharing during the early part of the millennium… 22000099 :: The Los Angeles County Coroner rules Michael Jackson’s death was a homicide…the finding leads to criminal charges against the doctor who was with the pop star when he died…this same week Noel Gallagher abruptly quits Oasis just before a gig in France saying he cannot work any longer with his brother Liam…the move comes after many well-publicized fraternal battles and band breakups… 22001111 :: Elvis’s estate announces a suit against his former record company seeking payment for income produced by new media like ring tones and entertainment apps…


RRU UM MO OU URR H H AASS IITT… … …The Comedy Catch, Chattanooga’s most fun night out has finally released the day they will open the doors to their new venue located at the Chattanooga Choo Choo and 14th Street. One of the most influential comedy clubs in the south will open their doors on the South side officially on November 1.

…Most bands are worried about their tour bus missing items, but blues rock Wiilllliiee A Anndd TThh ee BBaanndd iittss band W ended up with new cargo after playing France – two extra people. The band was loading up its tour bus on its way back to Britain when it discovered two migrants, with one somehow wedged into a guitar case. “Have literally just pulled two guys out the back of van just outside calais (France), was filling up and noticed the van move and found one guy just sitting

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there and the other in my guitar case...” the band posted on Facebook. “Feel really sorry for them to be honest they looked so desperate and only want a better life. Makes you realize how lucky we are sometimes and that we shouldn’t take it for granted!!” Calais is in the middle of an immigration crisis, with thousands from Africa and the Middle East risking their lives to cross the English Channel.

After playing festival after festival throughout the summer, the indie prog-rock band from Tennessee sets a November run with stops including Colorado Springs, Los Angeles, Saint Paul and Chicago. Chicago’s Lollapalooza, Southern California’s Bonnaroo, and New York City’s Governor’s Ball are just a few of the Moo oo nn TT aaxxii Moo oonn TTaaxxii still has mega-music events M …M has had the pleasure to play some dates left on its meter. this year. Upcoming festival

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1. Jason Isbell 2. Beck 3. Ben Folds 4. Albert Hammond Jr 5. David Gilmour 6. Halsey 7. Frank Turner 8. Glen Hansard 9. Wilco 10. Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. 11. Keith Richards 12. Tame Impala 13. My Morning Jacket 14. The Fratellis 15. Grace Potter 16. Hippo Campus 17. Courtney Barnett 18. Widespread Panic 19. James McMurtry 20. Buddy Guy

ADVENTURE PICKS 1. Moon Taxi 2. Blitzen Trapper 3. Jimmy Buffett

engagements include Moontower in Lexington, Ky., Aug. 29; Bristol Rhythm & Roots Reunion in Bristol, Tenn., Sept. 19; Austin City Limits in Austin, Texas, Oct. 2 & 9; and Red River Revel Arts Festival in Shreveport, La., that’s sandwiched in between Austin gigs and scheduled for Moo oonn TTaaxxii’’ss third stuOct. 8. M dio album – Daybreaker – arrives Oct. 2 and was proKiinngg ((K Kiinnggss duced by JJ aaccqq uuiirree K OOff LLeeoonn, M Moo ddeesstt M Moouu ssee, TT oom m Waaiitt ss, JJ aam W mee ss BBaa yy). …As we get closer to the release of BBeenn FFoo lldd ss’’ new album featuring yMusic, the singer/songwriter/producer has announced a fall tour with the orchestral ensemble. The outing begins Nov. 1 in Huntington, N.Y., following a previously announced stretch of dates with yMusic that runs through Sept. 16 in San Francisco. So There is due out Sept. 11. FFoollddss teamed up with the New York City-based yMusic sextet for eight songs on the LP. A few months ago NPR premiered the LP’s first track, “Capable of Anything,” which it described as a “little pocket symphony of sorts” and “a bit of pop perfection.” FFoollddss told NPR that he and yMusic had “cracked the code that would enable us to perform an upbeat pop song with no bass and classical instruments.” …Authorities are investigating the death of a 28-year-old Indiana woman on the last day of a three-day festival by the rock band PPhh iisshh in western New York. Schuyler County Sheriff ENIGMA

Wiilllliiaam W m YYeessss m maa nn JJrr.. says the woman’s death Sunday at the Watkins Glen International racetrack was “unattended” and doesn’t appear to be suspicious. He says no other information is being released yet, including the woman’s name.

D aavviidd GGrr oohh ll’’ss FFoooo …D FFiigghhtt eerrss had another run in with the Westboro Baptist Church, whose members are known for picketing funerals and denouncing anything and everything associated with the LGBT community. You might recall that church members protested a FFoo oo FFiigghhtt eerrss concert at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Mo., in 2011. That’s when G Grroo hhll and his bandmates rolled down the street on a flatbed truck while performing the gay-love song “Keep It Clean (Hot Buns)” for the crowd. The FFoooo FFiigghhtt eerrss were back at the Sprint Center Friday night and, sure enough, so were members of Westboro Baptist protesting the group’s appearance. This time a pickup truck carrying the band cruised down the Asstt llee yy’’ ss street blasting RRiicckk A “Never Gonna Give You Up” while band members held up a sign reading, “You Got Rick Roll’d (Again),” according to the Kansas City Star. Rolling Stone reports that FFoo oo Fans “stormed the truck, creating a giant dance party” that pretty much surrounded the protesters. And what was G G rroo hhll doing all this time? Holding up a sign which read “Keep It Clean” in reference to the last time FFoo oo ss encountered Westboro Baptist Church members.

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…FFaa tt W Whhii ttee FFaam m iillyy have threatened “to join Isis” if the Canadian singer-songMaacc D D eeM Maarrccoo continwriter M ues to make music. Writing on their Facebook wall, the band joked that their contempt for the musician had pushed them to the extreme. As reported by DIY, the full post reads: Maacc dd eem maarrccoo immedi“Unless M ately withdraws from music and the public eye, me and ssaauu ll will be on the first plane to Syria to join Isis. Peace be with you.” …TTyylleerr,, TThh ee CCrree aattoo rr has told fans he has been banned from entering the UK for “3-5 years.” The O Odd dd FFuutt uurree rapper was scheduled to play gigs in Belfast and Dublin prior to Reading and Leeds festival sets. On Monday he told fans the shows were cancelled due to “circumstances” but did not explain further. Returning to twitter Wednesday, the rapper explained that he has been banned from entering the UK for 3-5 years because of “lyrics from 2009.” Clearly surprised by the decision, he then tweeted ‘*listens to last three releases in confusion*’



As reported by DIY, TTyylleerr’’ss manager CChh rriiss ttiiaa nn CCllaa nnccyy posted a more detailed explanation behind the ban in a lengthy Tumblr essay. “TT yylleerr has been banned from entering the UK for somewhere between 3 to 5 years per a letter from the secretary of state for the home department of the united kingdom,” CCllaannccyy wrote. “The letter specifically cites lyrics he wrote 6-7 years ago for his albums bastard and goblin – the type of lyrics he hasn’t written since… highlights from the letter include that his work ‘encourages violence and intolerance of homosexuality’ and ‘fosters hatred with views that seek to provoke others to terrorist acts..’”

new interview. Despite recently teaming up with a KKaannyyee W Weesstt affiliate on a hiphop project, the singer has described himself as “still surprised” that he earns a money through music and said that he has “contingency plans” for a post-band non-musical occupation. “I’m still not convinced this is my job,” the frontman recently told The Big Issue. “I’ve still got contingency plans at the back of my head, before every tour, about becoming a teacher or a Muum mffoo rrdd continued: farmer”. M “I definitely have some sort of arrested development in terms of my psychology in terms of my career, where I still sort of feel like this is going to stop tomorrow.”

the autumn, according to Maarrtt iinn’’ ss band reports. CC hhrriiss M released their last album Ghost Stories in May 2014, Add eellee’’ss 21 was released while A back in 2011. The latest issue of Rolling Stone claims that Addeellee and CCoo llddpp llaayy will both A release their new albums over the next few months, labeling them as “Must-Hear Fall Albums”.

Krraaff ttw w eerr kk are …K translating their visual shows into a ‘3D album’, set to be released in late autumn on Blu-ray. Speaking to Rolling Stone, original member Ralf Hutter said, “We translated our performances to 3D, and in surround sound, kind of like 3D sound.” He went on to say, “We’ve put a lot of work …CCoolldd ppllaayy and A …M Muum mffoorrdd aanndd SSoonnss’’ Addeellee into all the images, transformMaarr ccuuss M M Muu m mff oorrdd has dis- will both release their eager- ing from our Kling Klang cussed life after the band in a ly-awaited new albums during archives into 3D format and

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arranging it synchronised with the music, so it’s quite a lot of production.” The performances will include those from the band’s recent 3D tour, which travelled to venues including the Sydney Opera House, London’s Tate Modern and the Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles. In the autumn, they will kick off a tour that starts on the September 16 in Edmonton. It will also include shows in cities the band haven’t played since 1975, such as Portland, Austin and Nashville. If you know any truths, halftruths, or outright lies about the music and club scene send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.c om.

- Sissy Vance


Culture Club Kisses to Be Clever Culture Club has always been kind of a guilty pleasure for me. I remember back when MTV was a real station and they played music. It opened my eyes to a world of

get across his so-called agenda or “come out” he was more interested in his music. And I admire that. The whole band wore unique out-

©Dave Weinthal

music I might never heard unless I hung out in the import section of Paradise Records or Record Bar and even back then there was no listening station. I would literally judge a band by its album cover and take a chance.

fits in their videos and album sleeves and what may have been lost in the whole Boy George/Culture Club hysteria was the fact they put out some of the best damn music of that generation.

Culture Club was one of the most “unique” bands to get launched by MTV. No one knew what to think of front man George O’Dowd a.k.a. “Boy George”. With his long hair, floppy hat and androgynous looks and the fact his makeup was better than most women they became quite the sensation. More was discussed and debated on whether Boy George was gay, which he simply dismissed or put off. He famously told Rolling Stone that he was more interested in having a cup of tea instead of sex. For that I kind of admired the flamboyant lead singer. Instead of using MTV and entertainment magazines to

I knew most of the songs on the album - “Kissing to Be Clever” went multi-platinum in the U.S. alone. Their unique look and style made them the toast of the early ‘80s. I remember one Sunday after a night of partying at the frat house I wandered down to the flea market. That was always interesting. I remember seeing Chico the Flower Man there playing guitar through a beat up amp singing his brains out. There’s a back story there. Before there was a Henry Davenport or Sandy the current “Flower Guy” around town there was Chico. ENIGMA

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Anyone that went to Yesterday’s, The Brass Register or David’s know who I’m talking about. I digress. After watching Chico I wandered around the flea market and came across a makeshift music stand that was selling cassettes for $3. Remember, this was the early ‘80s before the CD. While looking through the titles I ran across “Kissing to Be Clever”. I figured, what the hell? I know, at $3 even in 1983 it was a bootleg, but I didn’t care. I went back to the car and went for a spin popping the newly purchased cassette into the tape player. I recognized half the songs because the previous year they were all over the radio and on MTV. But what really got me was the songs that did not make the radio. I was blown away. It sounded like old school Motown R&B. I gained so much respect for the band and George as a singer as he had one of the best voices I had heard for the style of music. The album as well as the follow up “Colour By the Numbers” are two of the greatest albums of that style that defied what was popular at the time. The albums were mega-popular world-

wide. But ironically what drew everyone initially to Culture Club also played into their demise. Times change and people either got used or over the flamboyant dress of the band and their transvestite singer. What made them a curiosity made them an also-ran. Granted the music was excellent but they seemed to put everything into marketing the look of the band. It worked until around 1985. Extensive touring took its toll on the band and their creativity that was obvious in their later releases. And then there was the pressure of fame. George had developed a serious drug addiction (coke and then heroin). While trying to deny it, it was obvious as output lowered and the band relations soured. By the late ‘80’s Boy George was pretty much a full-fledged junkie. He had a lot of his plate – a top grossing band, not being open with the public about his sexuality – although everyone “knew” and the pressures that come along with stardom and fame. Everyone pretty much knows what

©Dave Weinthal

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©Dave Weinthal

happened since. O’Dowd had a solo career including singing the lead track on “The Crying Game”, became a popular DJ but trouble reared its ugly head from time to time which I won’t go into here. Originally the original lineup planned to tour in 2012 for their 30th anniversary, but said trouble put a quash on that. Fortunately 2015 has seen the band tour the U.S. for the first time in decades. And it was worth the wait. Without the aid of an opening act Culture Club converted the Fox Theatre in Atlanta into a cabaret for a few hours. The bad looked good for their age and actually looked as if they enjoyed being on stage together. O’Dowd, wearing his trademark makeup and a casual orange outfit danced and sashayed around the stage as he belted out one familiar song after another. His voice was strong and at 54 he looked years younger. All the hits were there from Culture Club and O’Dowd’s solo career with the exception of “The War Song”. Culture Club started the night with “Church of the Poison Mind” and included a few choice covers like Bread’s “Everything I Own”. 21 songs in all for the thrilled crowd. They finished their set with “So You Really Want to Hurt Me”, before a three-song encore that included

“Karma Chameleon” and finishing the night with a rousing version of T. Rex’s “Bang A Gong”. I have been fortunate enough to see Culture Club in their prime in 1984 and today in 2015. They haven’t missed a beat. C uull ttuu rr ee C Cl ub Se tli s t: Church of the Poison Mind It’s a Miracle I’ll Tumble 4 Ya Like I Used To Everything I Own (Bread cover) Let Somebody Love You Black Money Happy Birthday (sung to Roy Hay) Victims Move Away Human Zoo Time (Clock of the Heart) The Crying Game (Dave Berry cover) Different Man Miss Me Blind Runaway Train We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (snippet, Boy George) Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? Ennccoorree:: E More Than Silence Karma Chameleon Bang A Gong (Get It On) (T. Rex cover)

- Dave Weinthal ENIGMA

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Total Mayhem RRoo cckk ssttaarr M Maayyhh eem m FFeessttiivvaall Aaron’s Amphitheatre Atlanta, GA

Kevin Lyman decided to unleash his own ‘mayhem’ when questioned by a reporter about the event’s There’s been an unwritten poor attendance in cities code concert promoters have across the country. Big misfollowed for years – decades take! really – that goes something like this. If your show isn’t Instead of owning up to the selling very well, don’t air errors and offering possible your complaints in public. future solutions, Lyman decidAnd whatever you do, don’t ed to play the blame game start pointing fingers. with a roundhouse left that fell pathetically short. He That lesson was apparently later tried to walk back his lost on one of the promoters ‘heat of the moment’ comof the Mayhem Festival before ments, but the damage was the event had ever reached done. I don’t care how good Aaron’s Amphitheater in your public relations firm is – Atlanta. For some unex- and Mayhem had one of the plained reason, co-founder nation’s best in Adrenaline ENIGMA

P.R. – not even they could undo the damage the festival co-founder’s momentary lapse of reason had unleashed. The Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival is a heavy metal gathering meant to expose the up and coming hard rock acts; expose thrashers on the verge of breaking out and reintroduce yesterday’s classic hard rock bands to a new generation of head bangers. Unfortunately, the 8th Edition of this traveling metal show fell woefully short in every department. The general public reacted in kind by staying away in droves.

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In the past, Mayhem had become one of the more entertaining summer destination tours to hit the road. When it came to people watching, this tour couldn’t be beat. You would show up early just to marvel at the spectacle of humanity on parade throughout the day. Unfortunately at Aaron’s Amphitheatre, there just wasn’t’ that much to gawk at. I’m not here to rag on this festival, but since the door was opened by the promoter himself, I might as well step in. First off, the talent level needed to pull off a ten-hour festival wasn’t there. The



turnout in Lakewood was so underwhelming, the lawn was actually shut down. The G.A. tickets were given access to the reserved seat sections, including the pit up front, that caused further confusion and yes, mayhem. At least no one would complain they couldn’t see Grandma make her cameo. This year’s event had devolved from three side stages to one. The key attractions to this stage were death core pioneers Whitechapel and Thy Art is Murder. Sister Sin and Jungle Rot would also briefly appear for 20 minutes due to time restraints. All told, another five acts – Kissing Candice, Code Orange, Feed Her to the Sharks, Shattered Sun and Sworn In – would toil throughout the hot afternoon before the main

stage opened.

even managed to play a couple of Mercyful Fate gems to The Devil Wears Prada kicked remind them of his former off events on the main stage. life. Mid-set, Slayer guitarist This metal core band from Dayton, Ohio delivered a serious nine-song set before leaving the stage to enthusiastic applause. They were followed by the veteran rock group Hellyeah that also put on a blistering ten-song display. When Hellyeah played the final notes to their hit single, “You Wouldn’t Know,” and walked off stage, the packedlike-sardines folks up front gave the band a rousing ovation. From the moment the lights went down, it was evident this crowd was ready for King Diamond. He didn’t disappoint. The King took the audience on an uplifting journey through his vaunted past and ENIGMA

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Kerry King walked out on stage to jam on the Mercyful Fate classic, “Evil”. He then bid the excited crowd adieu


stage performances Slayer has put on in years, maybe even decades. Relentless bursts of flame, burning upside down crosses and an enormous LED screen as a backdrop helped highlight the various songs with graphic images and thought provoking visuals. It

released in September. Two other songs from the band’s first recording since the death of guitarist Jeff Hanneman – “Implode” and “When If you weren’t fully converted Stillness Comes”, also made into the King Diamond camp their way on stage. before that song, you certainly were afterwards. The band Slayer’s 16-song set list literalfinished its set with a flurry ly spanned two centuries. The that included “The Family first eight songs (with the Ghost”, “The 7th Day of July exception of “Mandatory 1777” and “Black Horsemen”. Suicide”), were recorded on The King walked off with the albums released this millenniaudience wanting more. They um. Then Slayer reached back in time to their brilliant fourgot Slayer instead. album stretch of the 1980’s to One of the most consistently perform songs that transsolid bands over the past 30 formed them into metal gods. years, Slayer did not disap- By the time King, Tom Araya, point the diehard metal heads Paul Bostaph and guitarist that had come to pay their Gary Holt finished the encore, respects. Kerry King and com- “Angel of Death”, this audipany kicked off the proceed- ence was worn out mentally ings with the title cut from and literally numb physically. their much anticipated new studio album in six years, This performance was highReepp eenntt lleess ss,, which will be lighted by one of the biggest R and the band immediately launched into another epic Fate song, “Come to the Sabbath.”

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was typical Slayer ratcheted up a few notches. The Mayhem Festival may have ended with a whimper, but Slayer made sure they went out with a bang. Come on baby light my fire!

- Chris Eason


Stop the Cop Bashing Please When I started my career as a Police Officer or Law Enforcement Officer in the Eighties there seemed to be far more respect for Police Officers and law enforcement in general than today. Why do I say this? Hang on and I’ll argue my case. First let me offer that most of this article will be just “off the cuff’”. I won’t be citing statistics to support my assertions just the feelings of a thirty-plus year veteran of law enforcement and his perceptions on his experi-

ences and observations and my of these Officers were doing take on some recent events. their job and lost their lives in doing so. That’s just in recent Just in the past five to six days days. Chattanooga Police and (August 21-26) there have been other area law enforcement two killings of Police Officers Officers literally ran towards that I heard about in the news. “the sound of the guns” recentOne officer in Texas was killed ly and engaged and killed a answering a domestic violence murdering terrorist. One officer call where people had been received a severe wound in that stabbed and another in incident and will be attempting Louisiana was killed by a sus- to recover for months. pected DUI driver who coldly Chattanooga suffered the loss of executed the officer with a Sergeant Tim Chapin during a point-blank shotgun blast. Both violent robbery attempt and ENIGMA

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shootout as well as the loss of Julie Jacks in a confrontation with a violent offender. Hamilton County lost Officer Donald Bonds to a violent criminal who held a grudge against law enforcement. These are just a few incidents tragically illustrating the danger of Police work and the bravery of Police officers some of whom paid the ultimate price while just “doing their job”. Police officers daily perform


seemingly mundane duties required by their jobs. (Law enforcement, firefighting and the military being the only three “jobs” I am aware of in which you are expected to go into harm’s way risking life and limb). These duties may not cause local or national media attention yet these actions can and often do have a tremendous impact on people’s lives. Police officers find lost children, lost pets, return lost items, find shelter for homeless people, help the elderly out of bathtubs, rescue the elderly who have fallen in their homes and who couldn’t summon help and many others. I could go on and on. Imagine the relief and joy of a parent whose lost child the police have found. I’ve

experienced it personally. Did it make the news? No. Police officers perform this type of service every day. People call the Police when they don’t know who else to call. However, what do we hear about for days on the news? A story about some local officer who is involved in a sex scandal or where an officer has allegedly used “excessive force”. Why is it so popular to bash the “Cops”? Let’s start with that term. When I was growing up the police were called Police Officers. The term officer denoting respect as in the military where ‘officers are to be respected, wear badges of rank are saluted and whose orders are to be followed. Police

Officers orders were to be respected and their orders followed. Usually back then if someone used the term “Cops “or “Coppers” it was generally meant in a derogatory way. I know the TV show “Cops” popularized the term and it became acceptable to call Police Officers this. Less personal interaction with Police Officers seems to me to be another reason people no longer respect or identify with police officers. Years ago I worked an off duty job at a restaurant where crowds of young people ‘hung out” until 2:00am or so. I would talk to these people and made a point to always address the young people as “guys “men” “gentlemen” “or ladies”. I knew most of their cars, who they were seeing, where they went to school etc. Late one night a fight broke out. There was a large crowd around the participants. This was in Cleveland, TN back in the day and none of this crowd carried a gun. I waded into the fray got the pugilists apart and as nobody was seriously injured restored order and went back

to my duties. Shortly after the Police Chief came to the restaurant asking if I was all right. I assured him I was. He told me that someone had called in reporting that they had observed the fight and that the caller had seen someone coming at me from behind with a knife during the fight. but the potential attacker had been swallowed up by the crowd. I told the Chief I of course had not seen that or been aware of it. Later I was informed by some of my frequent patron “men” that during the melee they had grabbed and disarmed a party then administered some justice to my potential attacker. They advised some acquaintances of the knife wielder had spirited the potential attacker away. When I look back and remember my young back-ups I am glad I had been respectful to them. This type of interaction is rare now due to the area officers cover, lack of manpower and others. There are other reasons I think people don’t respect the Police and thus find it easy to “bash” them. Some are lack of teaching

Retro Cafe

The Best of New Wave, Post Modern Classics and Other Odd Stuff

Wednesdays at 5pm est. on wawl.org ENIGMA

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have personally called one local station to correct a crucial fact in a story. There is a huge difference in whether an officer was disciplined for shooting a suspect or shooting at a moving Almost daily I see and hear peo- vehicle. ple bashing the police. If it’s not some “talking head reporter” Why shouldn’t the Police get reading off the teleprompter it’s “bashed”? Hey if they have some person who has been intentionally committed a crime arrested or their attorney (usu- then I’m sorry they are no betally not very unbiased), or some ter than anyone else and really amateur or professional agita- should be held to a higher stantor or race-baiter. Other than dard than the average citizen. the reporters they are all com- However, if it’s a minor slip of peting for space on the news or policy or something then “let he social media to broadcast their who has committed no sin cast cause or their plight of being the first stone.” As I’ve already “preyed upon” by the police. related above day in and day The reporters in most cases are out, 24 hours a day, seven days just regurgitating what’s on the a week the Police are out there teleprompter or computer doing their “jobs”. If the media screen. But who’s writing and and special interest groups conmaybe more importantly who’s tinue to bash them it can and fact-checking these “stories?” I already has lead to a “chilling respect in the home, the “me not we society “ attitude seemingly prevalent in today’s society, broken homes and many others.

ENIGMA

effect” where officers are less proactive/productive or even non-proactive Look at what’s happened in Baltimore for a current example. This can cause fewer qualified candidates to want to be Police Officers thus lesser qualified candidates get the jobs. This obviously can have a trickle down effect on our entire Policing structure and environment.

detrimental effect on current officer’s morale. Perhaps people should listen to Teddy Roosevelt who said, “It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.”

I believe that pretty well sums it I don’t know how many people up. I’ve had tell me, “I wouldn’t do your job for a million dollars”. - Mark Haskins If we keep bashing and discouraging present and potential If you would like to contact me Police Officers who are we or address my articles I can be going to get to do this job which contacted via e-mail or snail people can’t be paid enough to mail at Enigma. do? Realize this bashing has a

AUGUST 27 2015

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