Enigma 8 8 13 enigma

LOCALGIRLMAKESGOOD Chattanooga singer/songwriter megan Howrd brings her lovely compostions to the North shore Friady evening as she’ll entertain the troops at the Tremont Tavern.

GRAFFITI, A HILL CITY ART JOINT Join visiting artist and potter Jeff Rogers, former Chattanoogan, on Saturday, Sept. 7, at Graffiti Gallery in Hill City. His pots and sculptural pieces will be showcased, alongside Haitian metalwork from Epple Seed Arts, as part of the eighth annual Galley Hop from 2 to 8 p.m. that day. The Hop marks the Hill City gallery's first anniversary since its debut at the 2012 event. Grafitti owner David Jones is excited to welcome the potter and always invites guests and visitors to spend time with art, of any color, shape and size.

STORIES

COUNTRY STRONG Carrie Underwood, pretty much the current undisputed Queen of Counry

Year of October is a Rock band based in Nashville, TN. Founded in 2010 while members Phlecia and Josh were attending the University of Kentucky. will perform Saturday evening in Nashville at the legendary Grand Ole Opry Year of October started out as an acoustic singer/songwriter group, but soon made the transition to a full band which completed their truly unique House. sound. They perform Sunday at the Honest Pint.

ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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The Pedistal I gave up being surprised by “sports scandals” long ago.

Well, mostly. When Alex Rodgriguez and 12 other Major League Baseball players received suspensions for their involvement with the pseudomedical “anti-aging” clinic Biogenesis, I wasn’t that surprised. A-Rod was suspended for the remainder of this season and all of 2014. The other dozen players got 50-game suspensions…

resume his $28 million contract with the Yankees. At 38, Rodriguez is all but finished as a major leaguer. He probably figures this will be his last chance to collect some money.

Oddly enough, the medical community is still conflicted about whether “human growth hormones” and testosterone are really “performance enhancing drugs.” Most athletes take them in an effort to recover from injury and there is apparently no substantial …I was, however, a bit sur- research on their impact on prised when Rodriguez filed an actual performance… appeal and wound up in the Yankees’ starting lineup this …The Johnny Manziel story is past Monday night. There had perhaps only surprising been rumors of a lifetime ban because of the timeline for the former Hall of Fame involved. In less than a year, shoo-in. Everyone figured that “Johnny Football” has gone MLB had enough evidence on from being an unheard-of him to support such a ban. freshman quarterback at Texas There had to be a reason why A&M… to a Heisman Trophy his ban was over four times winner… to college football’s higher than that of the other 12, most notorious bad boy. right? Appealing the MLB deci- Manziel’s most recent scandal sion allowed A-Rod to at least involves claims that he was delay his suspension and paid to sign memorabilia. One

“autograph broker” claims he paid Manziel $7,500 for one signing session. Sorry, Mr. Football, the NCAA doesn’t allow college athletes to profit from their own fame. Only their universities, the NCAA, college football sponsors, and the bowl game organizers are allowed to do that. Manziel also got some negative publicity when he was dismissed from the Manning Passing Academy (an elite prep quarterback camp hosted by Peyton and Eli) for “oversleeping” and missing a morning’s worth of sessions.

Unconfirmed reports say that Manziel had a hangover.

Campers pay between $400$600 per day for the camp… …The Rodriguez and Manziel storylines pale in comparison to the ongoing story of Aaron Hernandez. The now-former Patriots tight end has been arrested in connection with at least one murder. His case is still developing, but things don’t look good for

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AUGUST 8

2013

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Hernandez… …If there’s a pattern in these and other scandals involving high-profile athletes it’s the ongoing and sad fact that they all seem to think that society’s rules and laws just don’t apply to them. People put them on a pedestal because of their athletic abilities. Rules and laws must look pretty small from up there. And the undeniable fact is that big-time athletes get away with a whole lot more than they ever get caught doing. Who knows how many violations and crimes get swept under the carpet because of the perpetrators’ elite status? It’s a poor reflection on humanity when grown adults have pro and college jocks as their heroes. Perhaps they’re no better or worse than the rest of us. But when they get knocked off of their pedestals, the fall is a long one… and a public one…

- Mark Bedford

Why Build a Bridge to Nowhere When You Can Build a High Speed Train to Get There Faster?

We've all heard the quote; "A donkey is a horse created by a committee," and we've also heard in the media how our government has found a way to spend 10s of millions of dollars on pet projects; "building bridges to nowhere," for instance. Still, one of the most disturbing of all such projects I'd say happens to be out here in California, where our faithful politicians and podium pushers have convinced at least 1/2 of all Californians that we need a highspeed train to move people from Los Angeles to Sacramento to San Francisco.

The first phase of this project will spend 10s of billions of dollars that the great State of California doesn't have to build a high-speed rail system to basi-

cally nowhere. But one has to ask why? Will anyone ride on it?

No, and even those who might, probably will not afford the price it will cost when the price is amortized and rates and ride fees are set. Is this the height of arrogance, are we witnessing in California the belief that money grows on olive trees and there is an endless flow - are we any better than the Romans in our decadence? One could very well ask these questions, and philosophically say; yes, we are (can).

California where enormous tunnels will need to be built through Earthquake faults in fact - scary stuff. But alas, that's the least of the state's problems you see we are in a huge debt situation and everything they've done hasn't slowed the bleeding.

No, we are not any different here than let's say Chicago, Detroit, or any of the other debt ridden cities or states, but considering that we are one with that deficit problem why waste money on a train to nowhere?

Have you ever considered why Florida decided not to put in high-speed rail? Well, it didn't make sense for them, and realize their land is flat and putting in a high-speed rail is relatively easy comparatively speaking to the mountainous terrain of

Some of the utopia builders say that we should do it to prove we can, like putting a man on the moon, and they say; "just think how great it will be to say that California has one of the fastest trains on Earth!" Yes, I suppose

that would be nice, and I suppose many egos were enlarged with Dubai's tallest building or Beijing being the largest city. But look where it got them; you can't breathe the air in Beijing and Dubai's big buildings don't have a sewer system to back them up - and both cities have debt issues, and problems.

Personally, I'd say that whereas, it might be nice to say we have the fastest train, wouldn't be better to say we had the strongest financial system, the best education, and the best economy? Or am I just expecting too much from a socialist state?

Please consider all this and think on it.

- Lance Winslow P.O. Box 825 Chattanooga, TN 37401 (423) 267-6072 (423) 991-1657 Sales Line email info@enigmaonline.com twitter.com/EnigmaMag

d.a. weinthal - publisher charles carmichael - Managing Editor john casey - Art Director mark bedford - Editor-In-Chief craig fentress - editor-at-large chris eason - photographer Contributing Editors mark bedford, jim sells, sissy vance, scorpio jones iii, david n. marks

www.enigmaonline.com VIEWS EXPRESSED BY CONTRIBUTORS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF THE PUBLISHER, BUT ENIGMA LIKES TO CONSIDER ITSELF AN OPEN FORUM FOR DISCUSSION OF ALL SIDES OF AN ISSUE. FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT YOUR OPINION.

ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

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MONEY MANAGEMENT

GOLD INFO YOU OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT Nearly everyone is looking to gold right now to help them out of a financial jam, but most don't know how to go about it. The following information will help you receive the most bang for your buck when it comes to gold.

Only sell to reputable buyers.

Use resources like the Better Business Bureau and customer reviews. Do not do business with a buyer who does not treat you as a valued customer or does not offer a fair price. Do your homework in order to safeguard both you and your financial investment.

All gold buyers are different, so it is important to look around and find someone that you feel comfortable doing business with.

Check with business groups and read online reviews. See how fairly treated former customers feel. Get the best offer for the gold you have to sell by approaching multiple buyers.

research the going price for gold.

This can help you discern whether you're being offered a good price or not. Although there are many honest gold dealers out there, there are also those who will try to offer you much less than it is worth.

Be certain to review the sales contract carefully. If you're using a mail-in gold program, read all the fine print prior to committing to the deal. This lets you know how much you end up with after any fees are taken off the top.

Before selling your gold, comparison shop. The chances are good that you will get completely different offers for your gold.

If you don't shop around, you may not get what you are owed.

Be sure to take time to choose your buyer wisely for the best profit.

You don't have to have gold in hand in order to invest it. You might invest in an ETF or an individual gold mining stock when buying gold stocks. Purchasing gold bars and coins means you must have a secure place to store them.

Many people don't know that a magnet can be used to test whether something is made of gold or some other type of metal that is precious. Real gold won't stick to a magnet. In some cases, jewelry may have a clasp that is made of gold, but the rest of the jewelry piece is made of plated metal. This can be a useful method of testing for that.

Prior to selling old jewelry,

You can sell gold by sending it in the mail. Although this process may be easier, you may not earn as much money. You simply drop your jewelry items in a prepaid envelope and wait for your check to come in the mail. The price they pay will be very low, though. Keep in mind that you could be looking at a return of 30% less than other options.

however, it is a volatile commodity. If you can't stomach market swings, avoid gold. If you have enough tolerance, you should still limit your exposure. Don't invest any more than a small percentage of your overall portfolio in gold. It should be no more than five percent.

Before investing in gold, you should establish a few goals.

Gold can, for instance, be a good way to keep your savings from being impacted by inflation, but its value can also be volatile.

Decide ahead of time how much you will invest and what goals you have, and you are more likely to make a profit.

Gold has gained in popularity and importance as a result of the worldwide economic downturn.

Being educated in this area allows you to use gold in order to protect your financial portfolio. Put these tips to use before you decide how to invest your money.

You can make money on gold;

- Abdul Qadir Shafi

PROFESSIONAL SERVICE DIRECTORY

ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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Hey, What’s your sign?

You have been going through a period of change that no doubt caused problems with your loved ones.

Take your time be fore making personal decisions. You will be able to dazzle others with your obvious charm and your outgoing nature.

Your lucky day this week will be Confusion could result when communicating with others.

Sunday.

ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) You will also encounter individuals who can help you further your goals. Lack of cash might be partly to blame for the problems at home.

Opportunities to upgrade your living standards will come through your lover or through joint financial investments. Try to compromise rather than having an all out battle.

over pay. Plan a nice evening for two. Plan to get together with someone special later in the day. Be considerate and avoid being overly opinionated, or arguments will ensue.

CANCER (June 22-July 22) Changes to your self image will be to your benefit as long as you don’t

Your lucky day this week will be Thursday.

LEO (July 23-Aug 22) Your lucky day this week will be You will both have to bend if you want this union to work. Do the necFriday. essary chores and then do things that please you. Secret affairs may TAURUS be tempting. Stand up and propose (Apr. 21- May 21) Don’t let your mate stop you from your ideas, and you’ll be surprised attending an event that could be how many people will follow you. most important. You should consider getting your whole family Your lucky day this week will be involved in a project at home. Monday.

Unfortunately, your personal life may suffer from a lack spare time. VIRGO Use your high energy and dynamic (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) approach to win favors from superi- Travel may be confusing. Your family may be feeling neglected and ors. unloved. Try not to lend or borrow Your lucky day this week will be money this week. Look into attending seminars that can expand your Saturday. perception.

GEMINI Your lucky day this week will be (May 22-June 21) Think hard before going into busi- Sunday. ness with friends or family. Try to join groups of interest such as ball- LIBRA room dance classes or perhaps an (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) internet organization. Confronting The personal problems you may be a situation will only result in indig- having are interfering with your nation and misunderstandings. productivity. Make sure that all your Delve a little deeper if you really legal papers are in proper order.

You will have to be careful not to let want to know the score. others find out about your intenYour lucky day this week will be tions. Don’t overspend on items for your home.

Wednesday.

week. Find out all the facts before you jump to conclusions.

Your lucky day this week will be Sunday.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) Don’t trust a deal that looks too good, or a lover who appears to Your lucky day this week will be have it all. Job changes are in order.

Monday.

Go for interviews or send out resumes. You can make major gains SAGITTARIUS professionally by completing proj(Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) ects on time. You must steer clear of Don’t jump the gun; you may find overindulgent individuals. yourself getting angry at the wrong person. Don’t let your health suffer Your lucky day this week will be because of worry. Talk to someone Saturday. you trust. Use your obvious talent to work with detail and you can come PISCES up with something great. Stay out of (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) other people’s affairs.

Don’t hesitate to look for alternatives that will enable you to raise Your lucky day this week will be the kind of donations you need to Sunday. do the job right. Look into ways that you can make extra cash. this week CAPRICORN will be rather hectic on the domes(Dec 22.- Jan. 20) tic scene. Don’t let your health sufBe sure to take care of any minor fer because of abuse. ailments. Sign up for courses or join fitness clubs. Your ability to commu- Your lucky day this week will be nicate with ease will win the hearts Friday. of those you are in touch with this

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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True Fashion you stay true to your taste and loves, it is money well spent, because you will wear it over and over, and then some!

• Leather-Leather outfits, accessories, and different color leathers are still in. You can create various looks and styles with the leather pieces.

Here is an early preview for what to be on the lookout for, to look cool in the fall, for now and years to come!

• Military-Still strong and dominating the fashion scene. Hang onto your military staples. Keep an eye out for some of the updated versions with some tailored looks that include some accents of leather, lace and other luxurious details.

• Statement Outerwear- That’s right

Here we are, in the mist of Summer, and as it will always be in the world of Fashion for we impatient Fashionistas, what is next and new is always the question!

Even though it is hot as blazes, it is time to bring in the cozy sweaters, cardigans, jackets, black dresses, scarves and coats into the store for early Fall transition. Sometimes, the thought of trying on a long sleeve sweater while cooling off in air conditioning can make you sweat at the thought of it. But, as we all know, and Mother Nature promises, Fall will come - sooner or later, but it

• Emerald Green- This was a great Check out these items at Backstreet color last year, but it’s coming strong for the fall. Emerald green apparell paired with some great accessories and heels and you are fierce.

• Layering- Of course layering will be big with mixing textures. Some of the runaway looks were dainty sheer items paired with edgy leather don’t be scared to invest in some pieces. Do layer up this fall, but interesting outerwear from furs, to keep a simple look not too bulky. bold colors, parkas, and leathers.

• Winter White- Save some of your • Chic Hats- Can’t go wrong with whites which you carry into the fall classic fedoras and knits. But keep a pairing them with appropriate pieces like knits and jackets. Lot’s of look out for some super cute hats. great looks can be created with the • Prints- Get your print on, classic winter white.

Betty’s now. Some are in. Some are prints like houndstooth and simple coming. And remember to like us on plaids will be in this fall and can go • Peplum- Yes it’s not going away so Facebook at, Backstreet Betty’s if you invested in some peplum you Boutique Chattanooga for pictures can reuse it in the fall. It’s a flatter- posted immediately as shipments ing look that accents the waist and arrive! looks great on most body types.

- discohippie@enigmaonline.com

SOME LITTLE FRIENDS COULD USE YOUR HELP THE HUMANE SOCIETY IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS

great for office to out looks. will be here.

So, grab that cardigan, you know you want it! Plunge forward for that awesome sweater dress, it won’t stay on the rack forever! Start you early fall wardrobe with the things you love and know you will wear early. It helps the budget, and eases that craving for awesomeness! If

• Leopard Print- Glad this one is here to stay I think we all got carried away with some feline prints.

Luckily this one is in for the Fall season. There will be a variety of leopard prints not only the classic browns and blacks but some funky versions. Just don’t get to carried away.

ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

CALL TODAY 624-5302

2013

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Ask Rocco Common Sense Advice From An Uncommon Man

My best friend, who has been having trouble in her marriage for about a year, has started an affair with her soon to be ex-husband’s brother. Besides all the obvious reasons, what else can I say to her to stop this before it gets way out of hand. One of the reasons she started having trouDeeaarr DDW D W ble in her marriage was that after Doo nn’’ tt yyoo uu kknnoo w D w?? TThh ee w woo rrlldd one of her husband’s drunken eevvoo llvv eess aarroouunn dd tthheem m.. TThheeyy’’rree states he came on to her younger sseellffiisshh.. sister. I need the right words to help my friend, I see nothing but Dear Rocco, TROUBLE. BL Dear Rocco, Why is it when I need a favor no one ever returns my call? It seems I am always the first person they call when they need a favor, want to borrow money or want advice. What gives?

DW

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DDeeaarr BB LL II rreeaallllyy ddoo nn’’tt kknn oow ww whhaatt ttoo ssaayy ,, tthh iiss iiss aa ffuucc kkeedd uupp ssiittuuaattiioonn.. II gg uueessss yyoo uu cc oouulldd aasskk hheerr hhoow w woouulldd sshhee ffeeeell iiff hhee hhaadd hhooookkeedd w uupp w wiitt hh hheerr ssiisstteerr?? TThhiinnkk aabboouutt tthh ee eem mbbaarrrraassssm meenn tt ff oorr yy oouu aanndd tthhee ffaam miillyy..

become overwhelmed with sports coverage? and I was a huge sports fan.

EG

problems in my marriage? I also want to know whether this woman finds me equally appealing. I want to appease my ego and move on. How can I find this out without giving the impression Deeaarr EEGG D SSppoorrtt ss aarree BBiigg M Moo nneeyy .. IInnssaann ee that I want to cheat on my wife? aam m oouu nntt ss oo ff m m oonn eeyy aarree m maadd ee Or am I asking for trouble? ffrroom m m m eerrcchh aanndd iissee aanndd tt iicckkeett MD ssaalleess.. TThhee pp rroo ss aarree ppaaiidd ssoo m muucchh moonneeyy tteeaam m m ss nn eeeedd eexx ttrraa gg aam m eess D Deeaarr M MD D ttoo pp aayy tt hheeiirr ssaallaarriieess.. N Neettw woorrkkss IItt’’ss nn oorrm maall ttoo nnoo ttiicc ee aann aatttt rraacctt iivv ee maakkee aa ffoorrttuunn ee sseelllliinn gg aaddvv eerrttiiss -- yyoo uunngg w m woo m maann.. IInn aallll hhoonneessttyy sshhee iinn gg dduurriinngg ggaam meess lliikkee tthhee SS uuppeerr pprroobbaabbllyy ddooeessnn’’tt tthhiinnkk ooff yy oouu iinn BBoow wll,, N Naattiioo nnaall CChhaam m ppiioonn sshhiipp aa ““rroom maanntt iicc ”” sseennssee.. YYoouu nn eeeedd ttoo ggaam meess aanndd ssoo oonn.. M M oonneeyy iiss tt hhee aasskk yy oouu rrsseellff,, iiss tthhiiss w woorrtt hh maaiinn rreeaassoonn tthhee sseeaassoonnss aarree ssoo ddeessttrrooyyiinngg m m myy m maarrrriiaagg ee?? LLoossiinngg lloonn gg.. II tt hhiinn kk.. myy jjoo bb?? W m W oorrkk ppllaaccee rroom m aann cceess ggeenneerraallllyy ddoo nnoott w woo rrkk aanndd gg eett Dear Rocco, uuggllyy,, w whheenn oonnee iiss m maarrrriieedd iitt ’’ss woorrssee..

I am a happily married man. I w have become smitten with a coworker. She is young, attractive, Rocco is a common sense, tell-itshapely, intelligent and funny. like-it-is, no-nonsense kind of She has a great personality and guy offering real advice on any we get along together well. I am subject put before him. Why pay self-conscious and awkward thousands of dollars on a highwhen I am with her when I want priced therapist when he’ll to be charming and interesting. If straighten you out for free. If I were single...sigh!I do not want you’d like advice from Rocco ehim at to jeopardize my marriage but I mail need to know two things: first, is goaskrocco@yahoo.com or drop it unusual for a married man to him a line at Ask Rocco c/o be so interested in another Enigma P.O. Box 825 Chattanooga, women? Is it a sign of deeper TN 37401.

Dear Rocco, Why are sports seasons so long?

Half the excitement of sport to me is anticipation of the event and all the trash talking before and after. Now all the major sports overlap and make it hard to follow. I really don’t want to hear about football in May and I?m sick of talking baseball in December. And basketball? it overlaps football and baseball.

The season ended a month ago and they?re still in the news. I’ve ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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WEIRD NEWS FORT MYERS, Fla. - A Florida woman said a raccoon tried to run off with her wallet while she was visiting the beach with her two daughters. Danielle Araica said she and her daughters were visiting Bunche Beach in Fort Myers to see a Kemp’s Ridley sea turtle named Tampa Red make her expected return home Monday and they were all in the water when Araica spotted a raccoon rifling through her bag, WZVN-TV, Fort Myers, reported Thursday. “I saw the

raccoon in my bag, so I start running like a crazy woman,” Araica said. Arairca said the raccoon ran off with her pink wallet in its mouth, but dropped it in some nearby woods. A young boy was able to recover the wallet and return it to Araica, she said. “I have some scratches and holes on my wallet now, but it’s back and its safe,” Araica said. Araica said she thinks the wallet theft was suspicious, as there was no food in her bag. “She knew what she wanted. She went right in

there and got it,” Araica said. “It was a trained raccoon to go steal money or wallets out of women’s bags that was the theory we came up with at the beach.”

ENIGMA

2013

AUGUST 8

NANTUCKET, Mass. - Officials on Massachusetts’ Nantucket Island said they do not know the identity or motive of a “prankster” who left a shark carcass on a pub’s doorstep. John Smith, Nantucket’s public works operations manager, said his office got a call at 7 a.m. Thursday to

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remove a dead shark from in front of the Sea Dog Brew Pub and he had to call in a frontend loader to cart away the 6foot-long, 100-pound shark, the Boston Herald reported Friday.

“In the summertime, there’s always somebody who’s a prankster,” Smith said. He said a prankster filled a street with small “black back” tuna a few summers ago. “Fortunately this doesn’t happen that often,” he said. Sea Dog Brew Pub manager Jimmy Agnew said he was also perplexed by the shark. “It

just made for an interesting day,” he said. Agnew said a couple of people had to be removed from the bar before it closed at 3 a.m., but he didn’t think any of the incidents were severe enough to result in a dead shark delivery. Smith said the carcass is being sent to be processed at a landfill and will eventually become topsoil.

JOHNSTOWN, PA - In the absolutely most adorable incidence of moral corruption and social decay you will hear all month, authorities say a 12year-old boy in Johnstown, PA used a BB gun to rob a 10-yearold who was running a lemonade stand. Johnstown Sgt. Patrick Goggin says the 12-yearold approached the stand with what appeared to be a handgun in his pocket and threatened the younger boy. Goggin says the boys “got into a wrestling match over the money box” before the older boy took $30 and ran away. 30 bucks? That one hell of a lemonade business. Three other children chased the boy home and helped police track him down.

That is when police determined the boy had a BB gun. Police aren’t identifying the suspect because he’ll be charged in

juvenile court where most more meat than could be butchered from a single beef cases remain confidential. carcass. Post’s research into LONDON - A hamburger worth synthetic meat, which ran up $380,000 — or about $75,000 the $380,000 tab, has been per ounce — made with meat funded by a wealthy anonymous grown in a laboratory will be backer who may reveal his cooked and eaten in London identity publicly by volunteernext month, scientists say. The ing to be the first to taste the 5-ounce burger will include a test-tube burger, a source told patty of made of synthetic the Telegraph. meat, grown in a laboratory from the stem cells of a slaugh- RACINE, Wis. - A Wisconsin tered cow, the scientist behind woman targeted by pranksters the faux burger said. The costly said she does not consider the patty, set for a public “proof of gnome left by her door to be a principle” consumption, will be fair trade for her missing lion made of about 3,000 strips of statues. Liza Michna, 37, of artificial beef, each the size of Racine said she was at the hosa rice grain, grown from bovine pital with her daughter, who stem cells cultured in the labo- was in a diabetic coma, about ratory, the Belfast Telegraph two weeks ago and returned reported Monday. It is the home to find one of the lion result of years of research by statues that used to guard her Mark Post, a medical physiolo- front door was missing, The gist at Maastricht University in (Racine) Journal Times reported the Netherlands. Synthetic Monday. Michna said the secmeat could help to save the ond lion was taken two days world from the growing con- later and replaced with a lawn sumer demand for beef, lamb, gnome. Michna said the lions pork and chicken, which could were a gift from her husband see the conversion of much of and five children on Mother’s the world’s remaining forests Day last year. “I love those to barren, manicured pastures things,” she said. Michna said by the end of this century Post she won’t press charges against said. Stem cells taken from just the pranksters if the lions are one animal could, in theory, be returned unharmed. “They can used to make a million times have their gnome,” she said.

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ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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JONESBORO, AR - Have you ever heard the phrase, “One good turn deserves another”? This does not always apply. Maybe a better philosophy would be, “Don’t bring home stray dogs, especially if you are a paraplegic who likes to sleep in the nude.” This particular paraplegic apparently had a soft spot in his heart for a small, white, fluffy stray he had taken in about three weeks earlier.

The dog repaid the kindness by eating one of his testicles while he slept. He was awakened by a “burning pain” in his mid-section, according to the initial police report. The 39-year-old man told police he sleeps in the nude and noticed the dog was between his legs. He also noticed the dog had blood on its muzzle and front feet. When the man looked further, according to the report, he noticed that “the dog had eaten one of his testicles.” Police took the dog to a local veterinarian where it was euthanized and tested for rabies. The man, in a move that proves the universe has a perverse sense of humor, was taken to St. Bernards Regional Medical Center where he was treated for his injuries.

RRAAW W DJ Spicolli BBU UD D’’ SS Karaoke w/ DJ Hammer TTRREEM MO ON N TT TTAAVVEE RRN N Trivia Night TTH HEE O OFF FFIICCEE SpeakEasy FFO O XX && H HO OU UN ND D DJ Exphacter ON O N EE-- EELLEE VVEEN N (Lafayette) CSA Writers Night

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SOUNDBOARD

This week’s calendar covers events from Thursday, August 8, through Wednesday, August 14. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

TT H HU URRSSD DA AYY A Auu gguuss tt 88

North of the river’s only choice for billiard action

CCO OM MEE D DYY CCA ATTCCH H Pat Dixon BBU UD D’’ SS DJ Hammer TTRREE M MO ON NTT TTA AVVEERRN N Songwriters Showcase SSII N NG G IITT O O RR W WII N NG G IITT Karaoke VVA AU UD DEE VVII LLLLEE CCA AFFEE “Mystery at the TV Talk Show” BBA ARRTT’’ SS LLA AK K EESSH HO O RREE Open Mic CCA AM M PP H HO OU USS EE Open Mic TTH H EE PPA ALL M MSS Prime Cut House Band SSK K YYZZ O OO O Karaoke AM A M IIG GO O (Hixson) Karaoke w/ Poe Boy Entertainment ARRII ’’SS H A HA ARRBBO O RR LLII G GH H TTSS Keyz Brown LLO O SS RR EEYYEESS ((Ringgold) Thirsty Thursdays w/ DJ Scubasteve SSU UG GA A RR’’SS Chris Gomez w/Christ Roberts HO H ON N EESS TT PPIIN NTT Hudson K, King Super, Carbon Denominator RRH H YYTTH HM M && BBRREE W WSS American Pink Floyd CCH HA ASSTTA AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Victoria Justice

FFRRIID DA AYY A Auugguu sstt 99 CCO OM MEE D DYY CCA ATTCCH H Pat Dixon RRH H YYTTH HM M && BBRREE W WSS Function, Hank & the Cupcakes SSII N NG G IITT O O RR W WII N NG G IITT Karaoke BBA ARRTT’’ SS LLA AK K EESSH HO O RREE DJ E VVA AU UD DEE VVII LLLLEE CCA AFFEE “Mystery at the RedneckItalian Wedding” LLEE G G EEN ND DSS BBA ARR && G G RRIILLLL Clay Danger Karaoke FF A AN NA ATTIICCSS Karaoke w/ DJ Hammer TTH H EE PPA ALL M MSS DJ TTH H EE TTA AVVEE RRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment W EEEE K W KEEN ND D’’ SS SS PPO ORRTTSS BBA ARR && G G RRIILLLL (Cleveland) Karaoke & DJs Lisa & Donna BBEE EEFF O O’’ BBRRA AD D YY’’ SS (Ooltewah) Karaoke w/ RCB Entertainment M IILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZ A A Aaron and the Spell with Function

ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

SSU UG G AARR’’SS The Pool TTRREE M MO ON NTT TTAAVVEE RRN N Megan Howard TT-- BBO ON N EE’’ SS Oz & Jaynes ZZYYD DEE CCO O (Birmingham) Kottonmouth Kings MU M USS EEU UM MO O FF AARRTT (Birmingham) Man or Astroman?

TTH H EE TTAA BBEE RRN NAA CCLL EE (Atlanta) Doug E. Fresh

SSA ATT U URRD DA AYY A Auugguu sstt 1100 CCO OM MEE D DYY CCAATTCCH H Pat Dixon RRH HYYTTH HM M && BBRREE W WSS Rubik’s Groove SSIIN NG G IITT O O RR W W IIN NG G IITT Karaoke BBA A RRTT’’ SS LL AAK KEESS H HO O RREE DJ E FFA AN NAA TTII CCSS Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment VVA AU UD DEE VVIILLLLEE CCAAFFEE “Mystery at the RedneckItalian Wedding” FFIIRREE SSIID DEE LLO OU UN NG G EE Clay Danger Karaoke VVFF W W (Post 4848) Taylor & Company SSU UG G AARR’’SS The Pool TTH H EE PPAALLM MSS Rosedale Remedy TTH H EE TTAAVVEE RRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims GEE M G M TTH H EEAATTRREE (Calhoun) Pearl Awards PPH HIILLII PPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Justin Bieber FFRREED D RRIICCK K BBRRO OW WN N JJRR.. AAM MPPH H IITTH H EEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Spin Doctors CCH H AASSTTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Sugar Ray, Gin Blossoms, Smash Mouth, Vertical Horizon, Fastball BBLL IIN ND DW WII LLLLIIEE ’’SS (Atlanta) Big Bill Morganfield GRRAAN G ND DO OLLEE O O PPRRYY H HO OU USS EE (Nashville) Carrie Underwood, Larry Gatlin, Craig Campbell

SSU UN ND DA A YY A Auugguu sstt 1111 CCO OM MEE D DYY CCAATTCCH H Pat Dixon TTH H EE PPAALLM MSS Karaoke w/ DJ Salt BBU UD D’’ SS Karaoke w/ DJ Hammer SSIIN NG G IITT O O RR W W IIN NG G IITT Karaoke VVA AU UD DEE VVIILLLLEE CCAAFFEE Live Band Karaoke DO D OU UBBLLEE H H IILLLL BBIILL LLIIAARRD D SS Open Mic BBEE EEFF O O ’’BBRRAAD D YY’’SS Karaoke w/ RCB Entertainment ARRII’’SS H A HAA RRBBO ORR LL IIG GH H TTSS Keyz Brown HO H ON NEE SSTT PPIIN N TT Year of October

MO M ON ND DA AYY A Auugguu sstt 1122 SSIIN NG G IITT O O RR W W IIN NG G IITT Karaoke

2013

12

TTH HEE BBIIG G CCH HIILLLL Karaoke w/ Chris of Alternative Images RRA AW W DJ Spicolli BBU UD D’’ SS Karaoke w/ DJ Salt JJEE FFFFEE RRSSO ON N’’ SS Kamakazi Karaoke SSIIN NG G IITT O ORR W WIIN NG G II TT Karaoke LLEEG G EE N ND D SS BBAARR && G GRRIILL LL Clay Danger Karaoke TTRREEM MO ON N TT TTAAVVEE RRN N Open Mic w/ Mike McDade NO N O RRTTH HSS H HO O RREE G G RRIILLLL EE Jonathan Wimpee SSU UG G AARR’’ SS Tim Starnes & Friends VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WII RREELLEE SSSS AAM MPPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE @ @ EEN N CCO ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Peter Frampton, B.B. King, Sonny Landreth WO W O RRK KPPLLAAYY TTH H EEAATTRREE (Birmingham) Brother Cane

WEED W DN NEESSD DA AYY A Auugguu sstt 1144 RRH HYYTTH HM M && BBRREEW WSS Happenstance, Troy Leach RRA AW W Open Jam w/ Jonathan Wimpee and friends SSIIN NG G IITT O ORR W WIIN NG G II TT Karaoke FFA AN N AATTIICCSS Karaoke w/ DJ Hammer PPLLA AYYO O FFFFSS SSPPO O RRTTSS BBAARR Karaoke w/ Captain Karaoke DO D OU UBBLLEE H H IILLLL BBIILLLLIIAARRD D SS Karaoke LLA ASS M MAARRG G AARRIITTAA’’ SS Priscilla & Little Rickee BBA ARRTT’’SS LLAAK KEE SSH HO ORREE Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment WEE EEK W KEE N ND D ’’SS SSPPO O RRTTSS BBAARR && G GRRII LLLL (Cleveland) Open Mic w/ Mimi FFO O XX && H HO OU UN ND D Karaoke w/ DJ Salt SSM MO OK KEE YY BBO ON N EESS Wild’n Out Wednesdays W/ DJ ScubaSteve FFO O XX && H HO OU UN ND D Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment ARRII’’ SS H A H AARRBBO ORR LLIIG GH HTTSS Keyz Brown TTH HEE TTAAVVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims PPO OK K EEYY’’SS (Cleveland) 2Nfro HO H ON NEE SSTT PPIIN N TT Black Market Research, Jerry Castle, Medicine Tree SSU UG G AARR’’ SS Dan Sheffield TTH HEE PPAALLM M SS David Anthony CCEEN N TTEE RR SSTTAAG G EE (Atlanta) Jimmy Eat World CCH HAASSTTAAII N N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Kansas, Toto B (Atlanta) Kay Lenz & Her Jaguars AN A NTTH H EEM M (Nashville) Grandmaster Flash

UPPCCO U OM MIIN NG G EEVVEEN NTTSS HO H ON NEE SSTT PPIIN N TT Opposite Box, Antique Firearms, Soul Mechanic August 15 SSU UG G AARR’’ SS The Loop August 15 TTH HEE PPAALLM M SS David Anthony August 15 CCH HAASSTTAAII N N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) OneRepublic, Mayer Hawthorne, Churchill August 15 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WII RREELLEE SSSS AAM MPPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE @ @ EEN N CCO ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) The Killers August 15 MIILL LLEERR PPLLAAZZAA Holly Williams with Cody M James Harris August 16 MAAG M GO OO O ’’ SS Mark Kelly Hall August 16 SSU UG G AARR’’ SS Plan B Band August 16

CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Will Downing, Najee August 16 TTH HO OM M PPSSO ON N --BBO O LLIIN NG GA ARREEN NA A (Knoxville) “American Idols Live” August 16 M AARRA M ATTH HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Jimmy Eat World August 16 H && PPO 1122TTH O RRTTEERR (Nashville) Hot Action Cop August 16 WIILL D W DH HO ORRSS EE SS A ALLO OO ON N (Nashville) Three Dog Night August 16 RRIIVVEE RRFFRRO ON NTT N N IIG GH H TTSS Desert Noises August 17 SSU UG GAARR’’ SS SRO Band August 17 D AALLTTO D ON ND DEE PPO O TT (Dalton) Georgia Pine August 17 BBRRIID DG GEE SSTTO ON N EE A ARREEN NA A (Nashville) Bruno Mars, Fitz & the Tantrums August 17 BBIIJJO OU U TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Jars of Clay August 17 TTH HEE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) The Cult August 17 HO H ON N EESSTT PPII N NTT Brittany Lane, Michelle Branch and The Quote Unquotes August 18 CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Josh Groban August 18 ATTLLAAN A N TTA A BBO O TTA AN N IICCA ALL G GA ARRD D EEN N (Atlanta) Roger Hodgson August 18 M AARRA M ATTH HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) The Cult August 18 TTH HEE W WO OO OD DSS A ATT FFO ON NTTEE N NEE LL (Whites Creek) OneRepublic, Mayor Hawthorne, Churchill August 18 RRYYM MAAN NA AU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) The Wiggles August 19 HO H ON N EESSTT PPII N NTT Dan Tedesco, Ryan Oyer August 21 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) BoDeans August 21 CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Big Head Todd & the Monsters, Soul Asylum, The Wailers, Matthew Sweet August 21 HO H ON N EESSTT PPII N NTT Crass Mammoth, The Average, Scenic August 22 CCEEN N TTEERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) Scott Weiland August 22 PPH H IILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Bruno Mars, Fitz & the Tantrums August 22 CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Backstreet Boys, Jesse McCartney, DJ Pauly D August 22 TTEERRM M IIN NA A LL W WEE SSTT (Atlanta) Super Chunk, The Parting Gifts August 22 LLA AU UG GH H IIN NG G SS K KU ULL LL LLO OU UN NG GEE (Atlanta) Margaret Cho August 22-25 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) BoDeans August 22 PPU UBBLL IICC SSQ QU UA ARREE PPA ARRK K (Nashville) Michael Franti, The Delta Saints, Luella & the Sun August 22 TTH HEE N N IICCK K (Birmingham) The Dexateens August 22 M IILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZ A A Leagues (UTC night) with Moonlight Bride August 23 TTH HEE CCO O FFFFEE EE SSH HO O PP && G GA ALL LLEERRYY (Chatsworth) Georgia Pine August 23 FFRREE D DRRII CCK K BBRRO OW WN N JJRR.. A AM M PPH HII TTH H EE A ATTRREE (Atlanta) Huey Lewis & the News August 23 CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Cheech & Chong, WAR, Tower of Power August 23 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PP LLA AYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) John Hiatt August 23 SSO OU UTTH H EERRN N BBRREEW W EERRSS FFEE SSTTIIVVA ALL Galactic, Corey Glover, Robert Randolph & the Family Band, North Mississippi Allstars, Yarn August 24

TTEE N NN N EESSSS EEEE TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Corey Smith August 24 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Steve Earle August 24 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Sara Barelilles, Harper Blynn August 25 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO O RRN N SS YYM M PPH HO ON N YY CCEEN N TTEE RR (Nashville) Huey Lewis & the News August 25 BBJJ CCCC CCO ON NCCEERR TT H HA ALLLL (Birmingham) Fantasia August 25 HO H ON N EESS TT PPIIN NTT Crying Wolf August 28 CCH HA ASSTTA AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Dickey Betts & Great Southern August 28 HO H ON N EESS TT PPIIN NTT Valley Young, W.B. Givens and The Mailboxes August 29 ZZ YYD D EECCO O (Birmingham) Black Flag August 29 SSM MO OK KIIEESS SSTTA AD D IIU UM M (Sevierville) The Band Perry August 29 B (Nashville) Twiztd August 29 M IILLLLEE RR PPLLA M AZZ A A Screaming Orphans with Rigoletto August 30 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Corey Smith August 30 RRIIVVEE RRFFRRO ON NTT N N IIG GH HTTSS Ana Popovic August 31 BBRRIID DG G EESSTTO ON NEE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) “American Idols Live” August 31 CCH HA ASSTTA AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Toni Braxton August 31 CCEE N NTTEEN NN NII A ALL O O LLYYM MPPII CC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Sheryl Crow August 31 ZZ IIG GG G YY’’SS Vital Remains, Coathanger Abortion, Cranial Impalement, Aborny September 1 SSTTA ARRLL IIG GH H TT D D RRIIVVEE--II N N (Atlanta) Man or Astroman? September 1 CCH HA ASSTTA AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Maze feat.

Frankie Beverly September 1 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESS SS A AM M PPH HII TTH H EEAA TTRREE @ @ EE N NCCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Allman Brothers Band, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals September 2 RRH H YYTTH HM M && BBRREE W WSS 10 Years, Monster Truck, Righteous Vendetta September 4 ARREE N A NA A@ @G GW WIIN NN NEE TTTT CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) Muse, Cage the Elephant September 4 BBRRIID DG G EESSTTO ON NEE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Iron Maiden, Megadeth September 5 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLA AYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Butch Walker September 5 BBRRIID DG G EESSTTO ON NEE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Muse, Cage the Elephant September 6 M EERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Butch Walker September 6 DA D ALLTTO ON ND D EEPPO O TT (Dalton) Georgia Pine September 7 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEESS SS A AM M PPH HII TTH H EEAA TTRREE @ @ EE N NCCO O RREE PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Steely Dan September 7 TTH H EE EE A ARRLL (Atlanta) Pere Ubu September 7 CCH HA ASSTTA AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Diana Ross September 7 DA D ARRW WIIN N ’’SS (Marietta) Chris Duarte Group September 7 EE XXIITT//II N N (Nashville) Matt Wertz September 7 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLA AYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Hanson September 8 CCEEN N TTEERR SSTTA AG GEE (Atlanta) Blue October September 8 TTH H EE M MA ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Hank3 September 8 552299 (Atlanta) The Dexateens September 8 WA W ARR M MEE M MO O RRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Chris Isaak September 8 M EERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Pere Ubu September 8

ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

TTH H EE TTAA BBEE RRN NAA CCLL EE (Atlanta) Rancid September 9 WIILLD W DH HO O RRSSEE SSAALLO OO ON N (Nashville) Hanson September 10 CCEE N NTTEE N NN N IIAALL O O LLYYM M PPIICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Mumford & Sons, The Vaccines, Bear’s Den September 10 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) The Black Crowes September 10 AAARRO A ON N ’’ SS AAM M PPH HIITTH H EEAATTRREE (Atlanta) Depeche Mode September 12 SSCCH HEE RRM MEE RRH HO O RRN N SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN N TTEERR (Nashville) Chicago September 12 MEE M M MO O RRIIAALL AA U UD DII TTO O RRIIU UM M ZZ Top September 13 CCH H AASSTTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Charlie Wilson September 13 SSM MIITTH H ’’SS O OLL D DEE BBAARR (Atlanta) Allgood September 13 CCEE N NTTEE RR SSTTAAG GEE (Atlanta) Pepper September 13 TTH H EE TTAA BBEE RRN NAA CCLL EE (Atlanta) Ben Harper September 13 RRYYM M AAN N AAU UD D IITTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Chris Tucker September 13 WAARR M W M EEM MO ORRII AALL AAU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Charlie Daniels Band September 13 RRIIVVEERRFFRRO ON N TT N NIIG GH H TTSS Alan Evans Trio September 14 AAARRO A ON N SS AAM M PPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Kid Rock, ZZ Top, Uncle Kracker September 14 SSYYM M PPH HO ON N YY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Pet Shop Boys September 14 TTH H EE TTAA BBEE RRN NAA CCLL EE (Atlanta) Matisyahu September 14 PPA ARRK K TTAAVVEERRN N (Atlanta) Snoop Dogg, Goodie Mob, Joey Bada$$, Ruby Veile & the Soulphonics, Amel Lamieux, Pete Rock, Quadron September 14 RRYYM M AAN N AAU UD D IITTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Ben Harper September 14 AAARRO A ON N SS AAM M PPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Miranda Lambert September 15 PPA ARRK K TTAAVVEERRN N (Atlanta) Ed Roland & the Sweet Tea Project September 15 CCO O BBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEE RRFFO O RRM MII N NG G AARRTTSS CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) Englebert Humperdinck September 15 SSYYM M PPH HO ON N YY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Joe Satriani, Steve Morse Band September 15 EEX XIITT// IIN N (Nashville) Fastball September 15 ALLAABBAAM A MAA TTH HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Kevin James September 15 TTU U SSCCAALLO OO OSS AA AAM M PPH HIITTH H EEAATTRREE (Tuscaloosa) Fun., Tegan & Sara September 16 AAARRO A ON N SS AAM M PPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson, PJ Morton September 16 WAARR M W M EEM MO ORRII AALL AAU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Joe Satriani, Steve Morse Band September 17 SSCCH HEE RRM MEE RRH HO O RRN N SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN N TTEERR (Nashville) Foreigner September 18 RRO OCCK KEE TTO OW WN N (Nashville) The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus September 18 TTH H EE TTAA BBEE RRN NAA CCLL EE (Atlanta) Empire of the Sun September 18 BBRRII D DG G EESSTTO ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran September 19-21 TTH H EE M MAASSQ QU U EERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Big Boi, Killer Mike September 20 MU M USS IICC M MIID D TTO OW WN N (Atlanta) Z Ward, North Mississippi All-Stars, Jane’s Addiction September 20 MU M USS IICC M MIID D TTO OW WN N (Atlanta) Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Queen of the Stone Age, Arctic

2013

13

AUGUST 1-4

DALE JONES

DALE'S MACHINE GUN STYLE DELIVERY AND ANIMATED FACIALS COMBINED WITH QUICK IMPROVISATIONS AND NON-STOP PHYSICAL COMEDY HAS LED TO TV APPEARANCES ON FOX, THE COMEDY NETWORK IN CANADA AND IN THE MOVIE "OUT OF TIME" WITH DENZEL WASHINGTON. HE MADE IT TO THE FINAL 18 ON NBC'S LAST COMIC STANDING. DALE HAS BECOME A FAVORITE HERE AT THE COMEDY CATCH AND YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS HIGH ENERGY SHOW!

AUGUST 8-11

PAT DIXON

SEEN AS A REGULAR ON " THE BEST WEEK EVER." ON VH-1 AN ENGAGING PERFORMER, PAT’S PRESENCE ON STAGE IS FUELED BY AN OFF-KILTER COMEDIC SENSIBILITY, AND HE HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS DECEPTIVELY CONVERSATIONAL AND FUN TO WATCH. PAT IS KNOWN FROM HIS MANY PERFORMANCES IN CLUBS, THEATERS, COLLEGES AND CASINOS ACROSS THE U.S. AS WELL AS HIS NUMEROUS TELEVISION APPEARANCES WHICH INCLUDE HIS OWN HALF HOUR SPECIAL, COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS: PAT DIXON.

AUGUST 15-18

MYQ KAPLAN

MYQ KAPLAN IS A COMEDIAN NAMED MYQ KAPLAN (PRONOUNCED “MIKE”). HE IS A 2010 LAST COMIC STANDING FINALIST AND HAS APPEARED ON THE TONIGHT SHOW, THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS, CONAN, AND MANY OTHER PLACES THAT YOU MIGHT NOT CARE ABOUT. HIS CD, VEGAN MIND MELD, WAS ONE OF ITUNES’ TOP TEN BEST-SELLING COMEDY ALBUMS IN 2010.

FOR UPDATES, DISCOUNTS AND FREE TICKETS, TEXT COMEDYCATCH TO 99000

3223 BRAINERD RD.423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM

Monkeys, Weezer, Tegan & Sara September 21 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PP LLA AYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Okkervil River September 21 TTH HEE W WO OO OD DSS A ATT FFO ON NTTA AN N EELL (Whites Creek) Fun., Tegan & Sara September 22 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Big Boi, Miller Mike September 24 M AARRA M ATTH HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Ani DiFranco, Ari Hest September 24 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PP LLA AYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Ani DiFranco September 25 EED DD D IIEE’’ SS A ATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Howie Day September 25 WAARR M W MEE M MO O RRIIA ALL A AU UD D IITTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) the Blind Boys of Alabama, Mavis Staples, Jacob Jones September 25 RRYYM MAAN NA AU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Kenny Rogers September 25 TTH HII RRD DM MA AN N RREECCO O RRD DSS (Nashville) Mudhoney, Cheap Time September 26 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PP LLA AYYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Colin Hay September 27 AAARRO A ON N’’ SS A AM MPPH H IITTH HEE A ATTRREE (Atlanta) John Mayer, Phillip Phillips September 27 CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Lionel Richie September 27 TTH HEE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) 30 Seconds to Mars September 27 M EERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Sick Puppies, Charming Liars September 27 RRIIVVEE RRFFRRO ON NTT PPA ARRK K (Nashville) Zac Brown Band September 27/28 TTU USSCCA ALL O OO O SSA AA AM MPPH H IITTH HEE A ATTRREE (Tuscaloosa) Corey Smith September 27 TTH HEE M MA ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Kamelot, Delain Eclipse September 28 VVEERRII ZZO ON NW W IIRREELL EESSSS A AM MPP H HIITTH H EEA ATTRREE @ @ EEN N CCO ORREE PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Fall Out Boy, Panic!

At the Disco, Twenty One Pilots September 28 CCH HAASS TTA A IIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Martina McBride September 28 TTH HEE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) Russell Brand September 28

TTEE N NN N EESSSS EEEE TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) City & Colour September 28 BBRRIID DG G EESSTTO ON NEE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Lionel Richie September 28 D && LL IIN 33RRD ND D SSLLEE YY (Nashville) Howie Day September 28 N VV N N NII G GH H TTCCLLU U BB (Knoxville) Aaron Carter September 29 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Blondie, X September 30 FF O OXX TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Atlanta) Jack Johnson October 1 BBU U CCK KH HEE A AD D TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Atlanta) Blondie, X October 1 TTH H EE EE A ARRLL (Atlanta) Mudhoney, Cheap Time October 2 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Jack Johnson October 2 HO H ON N EESS TT PPIIN NTT Goodbye June October 3 JJ ..JJ..’’SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A Kishi Bashi October 3 TTEE N NN N EESSSS EEEE TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Knoxville) Lewis Black October 3 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Passion Pit October 3 TTH H EE TTA ABBEE RRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) Portugal the Man, Crystal Fighters October 3 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLA AYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Aimee Mann October 4 TTH H EE TTA ABBEE RRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) Dane Cook October 4 TTH H EE LLO O FFTT (Atlanta) Cody Chesnutt October 4 FF O OXX TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Atlanta) J. Cole, Wale October 4 CCH HA ASSTTA AIIN N PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Brian Wilson, Jeff Beck, Al Jardine, David Marks October 4 G EEO G O RRG G IIA AW WO O RRLLD D CCO ON NG G RREESSSS CCEEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Chuck Negron, Gary Lewis & the Playboys, Gary Puckett & the Union ap, The Turtles feat. Flow & Eddie October 4 M EERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Those Darlins October 4 JJ ..JJ..’’SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A Those Darlins October 5 FF RRA AN NK K LLIIN N TTH H EE A ATTRREE (Franklin) Aimee Mann

October 5 TTH H EE TTAA BBEE RRN NAA CCLL EE (Atlanta) The Naked & the Famous October 5 VVA ARRII EETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Kathleen Madigan October 5 CCH H AASSTTAAIIN N PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Sigor Ros October 5 RRYYM M AAN N AAU UD D IITTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Dane Cook October 6 TTH H EE M MAASSQ QU U EERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Sick Puppies, Red Light King, Charming Liars October 6 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Arctic Monkeys October 7 NAASSH N H VVIILLLLEE M MU UN N IICCIIPPAALL AA U UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Queens of the Stone Age, Savages October 7 VVEE RRIIZZO ON NW WIIRREE LLEE SSSS AAM M PPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE @ @ EEN N CCO O RREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Fun., Hunter Hunted October 8 FFO O XX TTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Sarah Brightman October 9 TTH H EE M MAASSQ QU U EERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Voodoo Glow Skulls, The Toasters, Left Alone October 9 TTU U SSCCAALLO OO OSS AA AAM M PPH HIITTH H EEAATTRREE (Tuscaloosa) The Lumineers October 9 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Arctic Monkeys October 9 RRYYM M AAN N AAU UD D IITTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) India.Arie October 9 BBII JJO OU U TTH H EEAATTRREE (Knoxville) Ben Rector, Tyrone Wells October 9 KN K NO O XXVVIILLLLEE AAU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Knoxville) Hunter Hayes, Ashley Monroe October 10 MAASSQ M QU UEE RRAAD D EE M MU USS IICC PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Passion Pit, The Joy Formidable October 10 TTH H EE M MAASSQ QU U EERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Dr. Dog October 11 TTH H EE SSH HEE D D (Maryville) Webb Wilder October 12 RRYYM M AAN N AAU UD D IITTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) The Lumineers October 12-14 SSYYM M PPH HO ON N YY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Michael McDonald October 13 CCA AN NN NEE RRYY BBAALLLLRRO OO OM M (Nashville) Franz Ferdinand October 15

Remember the days of American Bandstand?

Well... they’re back!

Coming this fall to www.enigmaonline.com and YouTube it’s

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ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAA YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Noah & the Whale, LP October 15 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Gary Clark Jr. October 16 WIILLD W DH HO ORRSSEE SSAALL O OO ON N (Nashville) Air Supply October 20 MAARRAA TTH M HO ON NM MU USSII CC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Gary Clark, Jr. October 25 BBU UCCK KH H EEAAD D TTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Aaron Carter October 15 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Beats Antique October 16 BBRRIID DG G EESS TTO ON N EE AA RREEN N AA (Nashville) The Eagles October 16 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Ben Rector, Tyrone Wells October 16 BBIIJJO OU U TTH H EEAATTRREE (Knoxville) They Might Be Giants, Moon Hooch October 16 FFO O XX TTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Hunter Hayes, Ashley Monroe October 17 SSM MII TTH H ’’ SS O O LLD DEE BBAARR (Atlanta) Cherry Poppin’ Daddies October 17 SSCCH HEE RRM MEE RRH HO O RRN N SSYYM M PPH HO ON NYY CCEE N NTTEERR (Nashville) Chris Botti October 18 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Hunter Hayes, Ashley Monroe October 18 ATTLLAAN A N TTAA M MO O TTO ORR SSPPEEEE D DW W AAYY (Hampton) The Beach Boys October 18 CCO OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PP EERRFFO O RRM M IIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) India.Arie October 18 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Ben Rector, Tyrone Wells October 18 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Neutral Milk Hotel, Elf Power October 19 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AA RREEN N AA (Atlanta) Rod Stewart, Steve Winwood October 19 CCO OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PP EERRFFO O RRM M IIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) Lewis Black October 19 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WII RREELLEE SSSS AAM MPPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) Darius Rucker, Randy Houser, Justin Moore October 19 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVVEE (Birmingham) Neutral Milk Hotel, Elf Power October 20 CCEEN N TTEE RR SSTTAAG G EE (Atlanta) Switchfoot October 20 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Austin Mahone, Mignight Red, W3 The Future October 20 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Kris Kristofferson October 20 BBRRIID DG G EESS TTO ON N EE AA RREEN N AA (Nashville) Nine Inch Nails, Godspeed You Black Emperor October 22 BBRRIID DG G EESS TTO ON N EE AA RREEN N AA (Nashville) Michael Buble October 23 CCA AN NN N EERRYY BBAALLLL RRO OO OM M (Nashville) Neko Case October 23 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAA YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Sparks October 23 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AA RREEN N AA (Atlanta) Nine Inch Nails, Godspeed You Black Emperor October 24 BBU UCCK KH H EEAAD D TTH HEE AATTRREE (Atlanta) Neko Case October 24 VVA ARRIIEETTYY PPLLAA YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Built to Spill October 24 BBRRIID DG G EESS TTO ON N EE AA RREEN N AA (Nashville) Selena Gomez & the Scene October 25 VVEERRIIZZ O ON NW WII RREELLEE SSSS AAM MPPH H IITTH HEE AATTRREE AATT EEN N CCO ORREE PPAARRK K (Atlanta) John Fogerty October 25 TTH HEE TTAABBEERRN N AACCLLEE (Atlanta) Pretty Lights October 25 TTH HEE M MAASS Q QU U EERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Gary Numan October 25 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD D IITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Leon Redbone October 25 DAALL TTO D ON ND DEE PPO OTT (Dalton) Georgia Pine

October 26 LLIIBBEE RRTTYY TTRREE EE FFEE SSTTIIVVA ALL (Dalton) Georgia Pine October 26 PPH H IILLIIPPSS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Selena Gomez & the Scene October 26 TTH HEE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) Neutral Milk Hotel, Half Japanese October 26 CCO OBBBB EEN N EERRG G YY PPEERRFF O ORRM M IIN NG GA A RRTTSS CCEEN N TTEERR (Atlanta) Sergio Mendes October 26 CCEEN N TTEERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) Sister Hazel October 26 BBO OU UTTW WEE LLLL A AU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Birmingham) Bassnectar, Ill-Eshn October 26 RRO O CCK K EETTO OW WN N (Nashville) Sleeping With Sirens, Memphis May Fire, Breathe Carolina, Issues, Last Night October 27 M AASSQ M QU U EERRA AD DEE M MU U SSIICC PPA ARRK K (Atlanta) Sleeping With Sirens, Memphis May Fire, Breathe Carolina, Issues, Our Last Night October 28 TTH HEE TTA ABBEERRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) Bullet For My Valentine, Black Veil Brides, Throw the Fight October 28 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Clutch, The Sword October 29 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 J.J. Grey & Mofro, The Revivalists October 30 LLO O VVEELLEE SSSS CCA AFF ÉÉ (Nashville) Leftover Salmon October 30 TTH HEE LLO O FFTT (Atlanta) Reverend Horton Heat October 31 CCEEN N TTEERR SS TTA AG G EE (Atlanta) The Orb October 31 SSCCH H EERRM M EERRH HO ORRN N SSYYM M PPH HO ON N YY CCEE N NTTEE RR (Nashville) Michael McDonald October 31November 2 BBJJCCCC CCO ON N CCEERRTT H HA ALLLL (Birmingham) Hunter Hayes, Ashley Monroe November 1 FFEE RRSSTT CCEEN N TTEERR (Atlanta) Big Bad Voodoo Daddy November 1 RRYYM MAAN NA AU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Alabama November 2 TTH HEE M MA ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Los Straightjackets, The Fleshtones, Southern Culture on the Skids November 2 RRYYM MAAN NA AU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Alabama November 3

TTH H EE M MA ASSQ QU UEE RRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Minus the Bear, Invsn, Slow Bird November 3 BBU U CCK KH HEE A AD D TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Atlanta) Hugh Lauarie November 3 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) Alabama November 4 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) KMFDM, Chant November 5 PPH H IILLIIPPSS A ARREE N NA A (Atlanta) Drake, Miguel November 7 VVA ARRIIEE TTYY PPLLA AYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Colin Meloy November 8 JJ A AM MEE SS K K.. PPO OLLK K TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Nashville) Englebert Humperdinck November 10 EE D DD D IIEE’’ SS A A TTTTIICC (Atlanta) Lisa Marie Presley November 10 BBU U CCK KH HEE A AD D TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Atlanta) Two Door Cinema Club, Bad Veins November 11 TTH H EE TTA ABBEE RRN NA ACCLLEE (Atlanta) Iron & Wine November 11 M EERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Polica November 11 TTRRA ACCK K 2299 Steve Vai November 12 JJ ..JJ..’’SS BBO OH H EEM M IIA A Kurt Vile, Beach Fossils November 12 MA M ARRA ATTH HO ON NM MU U SSIICC W WO O RRK KSS (Nashville) Two Door Cinema Club, Bad Veins November 12 SSM M IITTH H ’’SS O OLLD D EE BBA ARR (Atlanta) Stephen Kellogg & the Sixers, The Saint Johns November 12 WO W ORRK KPPLL A AYY TTH HEE A ATTRREE (Birmingham) Steve Vai November 13 EE XXIITT//II N N (Nashville) Stephen Kellogg & the Sixers, The Saint Johns November 13 BBRRIID DG G EESSTTO ON NEE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) Justin Timberlake November 15 BBJJ CCCC A ARREE N NA A (Birmingham) The Eagles November 18 M EERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Mike Doughty November 19 TTEE RRM MIIN NA ALL W W EESSTT (Atlanta) Mike Doughty November 20 BBRRIID DG G EESSTTO ON NEE A ARREE N NA A (Nashville) The Charlie Daniels Band, Kenny Rogers, Montgomery Gentry, Dierks Bentley, Tanya Tucker, Josh Turner, Garth Brooks, Kid Rock, Same

Moore, Shelby Lynne, the Oak Ridge Boys, Randy Travis, Alan Jackson, T. Graham Brown, Mark Chesnutt, Joe Diffie, Jamey Johnson, Tracy Lawrence, Patty Loveless, Kathy Mattea, Lorrie Morgan, Pam Tillis, Gene Watson, Clay Walker, Aaron Tippin, Collin Ray, Crystal Gayle, Brenda Lee, TG Sheppard, Bobby Bare, Don Mclean, Billy Ray Cyrus November 22 MAARRAATTH M HO ON NM MU USSIICC W WO ORRK K SS (Nashville) Johnny Marr November 22 ARREEN A N AA @ @G GW WIIN NN N EETTTT CCEEN N TTEE RR (Atlanta) Macklamore & Ryan Lewis, Talib Kwell, Big K.R.I.T. November 22 WO W ORRK K PPLLAAYY TTH HEE AATTRREE (Birmingham) Matt Wertz November 23 CCEE N NTTEE RR SSTTAAG GEE (Atlanta) Jonny Lang November 24 BBRRII D DG G EESSTTO ON NEE AARREE N NAA (Nashville) Paramore, Metric, Hellogoodbye November 26 ARREEN A N AA AATT G GW WIIN NN NEE TTTT CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) Paramore, Metric, Hellogoodbye November 27 VVA ARRII EETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) Shawn Mullins November 30 EEX XIITT// IIN N (Nashville) Chvrches December 1 BBJJ CCCC A ARREEN N AA (Birmingham) Pink December 3 TTH H EE M MAASSQ QU U EERRAAD D EE (Atlanta) Monster Magnet December 6 VVA ARRII EETTYY PPLLAAYYH HO OU U SSEE (Atlanta) John Waters December 12 BBJJ CCCC A ARREEN N AA (Birmingham) Pink December 13 PPH HIILLII PPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Andrea Bocelli December 15 PPH HIILLII PPSS AARREE N NAA (Atlanta) Justin Timberlake December 17 CCO O BBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PPEE RRFFO O RRM MII N NG G AARRTTSS CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) Brian Setzer Orchestra December 17 WAARR M W M EEM MO ORRII AALL AAU UD DIITTO O RRIIU UM M (Nashville) John Tesh December 18 LLA AU UG GH HII N NG G SSK KU U LLLL LLO OU UN NG G EE (Atlanta) Bobcat

Goldthwait December 19-22 PPH HII LLIIPPSS AA RREEN N AA (Atlanta) Widespread Panic December 31 CCO OBBBB EE N NEE RRG GYY PP EERRFFO O RRM M IIN NG G AARRTTSS CCEE N NTTEE RR (Atlanta) Aaron Neville, Dirty Dozen Brass Band January 30 EED DD DIIEE ’’ SS AATTTTIICC (Atlanta) Al Stewart March 20 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H H AALLLL (Atlanta) Yo Yo Ma April 2 WIILLD W D BBIILLLL ’’SS (Duluth) The Dickey Betts Band May 9

CCO ON NTT IIN NU UIIN NG G FFIIRRSS TT CCEE N NTTEE N NAARRYY U UN NII TTEE D DM MEE TTH HO OD DIISS TT CCH HU URRCCH H (Room 135) Singles One Mondays @ 6 PM GRREE AATTEERR CCH G H AATTTTAAN NO OO OG GAA AASSPPIIEE SS Third Tuesday of each month, 6-8 pm http://www.meetup.com/G-C-As BBIIG G CCH H IILLLL Karaoke Tuesdays DEE VVEELLO D O PPM M EEN N TT RREESSO OU URRCCEE BBU UII LLD DIIN NG G (1250 Market Street) Chattanooga Alliance for Animals First Wednesday of the month TTH HEE CCH HAATTTTAAN NO OO OG GAA N N Breakfast Education & Networking Workshop Second Wednesday of the month BBRRA AD DFF O ORRD DH H EEAALL TTH H CCEE N NTTEERR (6160 Shallowford Rd.) Free Parent Support Meeting Thursdays 5-6pm TTH HEE EELL K KSS LLO OD DG GEE (Cleveland) Joe Collins Tuesdays LLA ASS M MAARRG G AARRIITTAA’’ SS (Cleveland) Collins Brothers Band Thursdays LLA ASS M MAARRG G AARRIITTAA’’ SS Priscilla & Little Rickee Wednesdays TTH HEE O OFF FFIICCEE SpeakEasy Mondays SSO OU UTTH HSS IID DEE TTAAVVEERRN N Troy Underwood Tuesdays PPO OK K EEYY’’SS 2nFro Wednesdays CCA AM MPP H HO OU USSEE Open Mic Thursdays TTH HEE TTAAVVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims Wednesdays

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ENIGMA

AUGUST 8

2013

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OPENING THIS WEEK Elysium In the year 2159, two classes of people exist: the very wealthy, who live on a pristine man-made space station called Elysium, and the rest, who live on an overpopulated, ruined Earth. The people of Earth are desperate to escape the planet’s crime and poverty, and they critically need the state-of-the-art medical care available on Elysium - but some in Elysium will stop at nothing to enforce anti-immigration laws and preserve their citizens’ luxurious lifestyle.

The only man with the chance bring equality to these worlds is Max, an ordinary guy in desperate need to get to Elysium. With his life hanging in the balance, he reluctantly takes on a danger-

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ous mission - one that pits him against Elysium’s Secretary Delacourt and her hard-line forces - but if he succeeds, he could save not only his own life, but millions of people on Earth as well.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Percy Jackson has had an unnervingly quiet school year. But then he discovers that the magical borders protecting Half Blood Hill are failing. Unless something is done, the camp will be attacked by demons and monsters. The only way to restore power to the camp’s borders and to save their home is to find the mythical Golden Fleece. And the only who can undertake this dangerous quest are Percy and his friends. Embarking on a treacherous odyssey into the uncharted waters of the Sea of Monsters (known to

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AUGUST 8

Emma Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis and Will Poulter in Warner Bros.' "We're The Millers" . humans as the Bermuda Triangle), they pretend kids and a huge, shiny RV later, battle terrifying creatures, an army of the “Millers” are headed south of the border for a Fourth of July weekend that zombies, and the ultimate Evil. is sure to end with a bang.

Planes PG NO N OW W SS H HO OW WIIN NG G Dusty is a plane with dreams of competing as a high-flying air racer. But Dusty’s not exactly built for racing — and he 2 Guns R happens to be afraid of heights. So he For the past 12 months, DEA agent Bobby turns to a seasoned naval aviator who Trench and U.S. naval intelligence offihelps Dusty qualify to take on the cer Marcus Stigman have been reluctantdefending champ of the race circuit. ly attached at the hip. Working underDusty’s courage is put to the ultimate cover as members of a narcotics synditest as he aims to reach heights he never cate, each man distrusts his partner as dreamed possible, giving a spellbound much as the criminals they have both world the inspiration to soar. been tasked to take down.

We’re the Millers R David Burke is a small-time pot dealer whose clientele includes chefs and soccer moms, but no kids—after all, he has his scruples. So what could go wrong?

Plenty. Preferring to keep a low profile for obvious reasons, he learns the hard way that no good deed goes unpunished when he tries to help out some local teens and winds up getting jumped by a trio of gutter punks. Stealing his stash and his cash, they leave him in major debt to his supplier, Brad. In order to wipe the slate clean - and maintain a clean bill of health - David must now become a big-time drug smuggler by bringing Brad’s latest shipment in from Mexico. Twisting the arms of his neighbors, cynical stripper Rose and wannabe customer Kenny, and the tatted-andpierced streetwise teen Casey, he devises a foolproof plan. One fake wife, two 2013

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The Conjuring Based on a true story, this horrifying tale follows world renowned paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren who were called upon to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse. Forced to confront a powerful demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most terrifying case of their lives.

Despicable Me 2 PG The return of Gru, the girls, the unpredictably hilarious minions... and a host of new and outrageously funny characters.

Fruitvale Station R The last day in Oscar Grant’s life, before he was detained and killed by police, which was caught on video.

The Heat PG Uptight and straight-laced, FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn is a methodical investigator with a reputation for excellence - and hyper-arrogance. Shannon Mullins, one of Boston P.D.’s “finest,” is foul-mouthed and has a very short fuse, and uses her gut instinct and street smarts to catch the most elusive criminals. Neither has ever had a partner, or a friend for that matter. When these two wildly incompatible law officers join forces to bring down a ruthless drug lord, they become the last thing anyone expected: buddies.

Grown Ups 2 PG-13 Lenny has relocated his family back to the small town where he and his friends grew up. This time around, the grown ups are the ones learning lessons from their kids on a day notoriously full of surprises: the last day of school.

The Lone Ranger PG-13 Native American warrior Tonto recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid, a man of the law, into a legend of justice—taking the audience on a runaway train of epic surprises and humorous friction as the two unlikely heroes must learn to work together and fight against greed and corruption.

Monsters University G Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan are an inseparable pair, but that wasn’t always the case. From the moment these two mismatched monsters met they couldn’t stand each other. This is the story of how Mike and Sulley overcame their differences and became the best of friends.

Much Ado About Nothing PG-13 Leonato, the governor of Messina, is visited by his friend Don Pedro who is returning from a victorious campaign against his rebellious brother Don John.

Accompanying Don Pedro are two of his officers: Benedick and Claudio. While in Messina, Claudio falls for Leonato’s daughter Hero, while Benedick verbally spars with Beatrice, the governor’s niece. The budding love between Claudio and Hero prompts Don Pedro to arrange with Leonato for a marriage.

Pacific Rim PG-13 When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju. On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes - a washed up former pilot and an untested trainee - who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past.

Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

R.I.P.D. PG-13 A murdered cop is recruited to work for

an afterlife police force that battles spir- unlikely relationship with the man in preneur who let nothing stand in the its not yet ready to depart this world. charge of the local water park. way of greatness. The film tells the epic and turbulent story of Jobs as he blazed RED 2 PG-13 The Wolverine PG-13 a trail that changed technology — and Retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses Based on the celebrated comic book arc, the world — forever reunites his unlikely team of elite oper- “The Wolverine” finds Logan, the eternal atives for a global quest to track down a warrior and outsider, in Japan. There, Kick-Ass 2 R missing portable nuclear device. To suc- samurai steel will clash with adaman- When we last saw junior assassin Hit ceed, they?ll need to survive an army of tium claw as Logan confronts a mysteri- Girl and young vigilante Kick-Ass, they relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists ous figure from his past in an epic battle were trying to live as normal teenagers and power-crazed government officials, that will leave him forever changed.

Mindy and Dave. With graduation loomall eager to get their hands on the nexting and uncertain what to do, Dave generation weapon. The mission takes World War Z PG-13 decides to start the world’s first superFrank and his motley crew to Paris, United Nations employee Gerry Lane hero team with Mindy. Unfortunately, London and Moscow. Outgunned and traverses the globe in a race against when Mindy is busted for sneaking out outmanned, they have only their cun- time to stop a pandemic that is toppling as Hit Girl, she’s forced to retire — leavning wits, their old-school skills, and armies and governments and threaten- ing her to navigate the terrifying world each other to rely on as they try to save ing to decimate humanity itself. of high-school mean girls on her own. the world‹and stay alive in the process.

With no one left to turn to, Dave joins CO C OM MIIN NG G SSO OO ON N forces with Justice Forever, run by a The Smurfs 2 G born-again ex-mobster named Colonel The evil wizard Gargamel creates a cou- Jobs PG-13 Stars and Stripes. ple of mischievous Smurf-like creatures The story of Steve Jobs, the original called the Naughties that he hopes will innovator and ground-breaking entrelet him harness the all-powerful, magical Smurf-essence. But when he discovers that only a real Smurf can give him what he wants - and only a secret spell that Smurfette knows can turn the Naughties into real Smurfs - Gargamel kidnaps Smurfette and brings her to Paris, where he has been winning the adoration of millions as the world’s greatest sorcerer.

It’s up to Papa, Clumsy, Grouchy and Vanity to return to our world, reunite with their human friends Patrick and Grace Winslow, and rescue her! Will Smurfette, who has always felt different from the other Smurfs, find a new connection with the Naughties Vexi and Hackus - or will the Smurfs convince her that their love for her is True Blue?

The To Do List R Set in 1993, valedictorian Brandy Klark wants to shed her uptight image before college, so she assembles a to do list of all the “activities” she missed out on in high school. Quickly realizing that she’s way out of her depth, Brandy solicits her best friends, older sister and burnt-out boss for their help and advice. If the group is going to complete the list by September they’ll need plenty of imagination and very open minds.

Turbo PG Turbo is a snail who dreams of being the greatest racer in the world, just like his hero: 5-time Indianapolis 500 champ, Guy Gagne. His obsession with speed and all things fast has made him an oddity and outsider in the slow and cautious snail community and a constant embarrassment to his careful older brother, Chet. Turbo desperately wishes he could escape the slow-paced life he’s living. As luck would have it, he gets that chance one fateful day after a freak accident when he suddenly finds himself vested with the power of incredible speed.

Turbo embarks on an extraordinary journey to achieve the impossible: racing against the best that IndyCar has to offer. Turbo is the ultimate underdog who achieves the impossible by refusing to let his limitations get in the way of his dreams.

The Way, Way Back PG-13 A teenage boy comes into his own over the course of a summer through an ENIGMA

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46. Lower jaw 47. Punch 50. Hocker 1. Semidry (wine) 52. Not hard 6. Pertaining to the 53. Roman poet races 55. To fit with cloth10. Sea mammals ing 12. Cartel 57. Decease 14. Gourd-shaped rat58. W tle Massachusetts 16. Leg bone town 17. Toward the stern 59. Yolk of an egg 20. Rebroadcasts 61. Energy units 22. Darn 62. Soft 23. Trading center 63. Decorous 25. Circuitous way 64. Priest 27. Adult males 28. Greek god of love Down 29. European flatfish 31. Refuse to accept 1. Unrealistic per34. Insane woman son 36. Central 2. Belief Massachusetts city 3. Scorch 38. New Hampshire 4. Having ears city 5. Dry red table 39. Ate wine 41. Cheerful 44. Acted as master 7. In the same place 8. Anthology of artof ceremonies Across

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work 9. French river 11. Roman shield 13. Gun 15. Parka 18. Payment for travel 19. Inhabitant of Troy 21. Subdebutante 24. African fly 26. Spur 30. Keynotes 32. Patsy 33. Male cat 35. Technique 37. Extra time 39. Coax 40. Refused 42. High fidelity 43. Goes in 45. Lump or blob 48. States 49. Spree 51. Missouri city 54. Prescribed amount 56. Fabulous birds 60. Rainy

this week in rock history 119955 55 Elvis Presley’s first number one record was released. The song was called “I Forgot to Remember to Forget” and when it hit the top of the US Country charts several months later, it stayed there for 5 weeks.

American Bandstand, with 26 year old host Dick Clark, premiered on the ABC television network. The program had been broadcast locally on Philadelphia station WFIL since 1952. The first record Clark played on the network debut show was “That’ll Be the Day” by Buddy Holly and his first guests were The Chordettes.

The smooth talking Clark hosted the show until 1989 when he was replaced

by David Hirsch, but the program would be cancelled five months later.

Two weeks after it cracked the Billboard R&B Top Ten, Chuck Berry’s “Maybellene” enters the Pop chart at #23.

It will peak at #5 and is now considered one of the pioneering Rock ‘n’ Roll singles.

The Quarry Men, minus Paul McCartney who is away at camp, make their first 119955 77 appearance at Liverpool’s Cavern Club, The Everly Brothers make their second which at the time was mostly a Jazz club. appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show and After a few numbers, the club’s owner perform their upcoming release, “Wake Alan Sytner tells them “cut out the Up Little Susie”, a song which would be bloody Rock!” banned from some radio stations 119955 99 because it was about two teenagers who accidentally fell asleep together.

Fats Domino’s “I Want to Walk You Home” enters the US record charts, where it will eventually reach the Top Ten. Although Fats would have 18 singles that were million sellers, he never had a number one record.

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Four members of The Platters, David Lynch, Tony Williams, Alex Hodge and Paul Rabi are arrested at the Sheraton Gibston Hotel in Cincinnati. Detectives, who were tipped off by a hotel employee, found the men with four nineteenyear-old women, three of whom were white. The members of the group are charged with aiding and abetting prostitution, lewdness and assignation. All were acquitted in December, but the episode seriously damaged The Platters’ career.

11 996600 16-year-old Bryan Hyland’s novelty tune, “Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” topped the Billboard Hot 100 and the Cash Box Best Sellers list.

Songwriter Paul Vance said he got the inspiration for the song when he saw his two year old daughter at the beach in a tiny little swimsuit. The record reached #8 in the UK. England’s Decca Records scrapped 25,000 copies of Ray Peterson’s “Tell Laura I Lover Her” because they felt the song, which recounts the last thoughts of a teenager dying from a car accident, was “too tasteless and vulgar.” A rival record company felt differently and recorded a cover version by a singer named Ricky Valance, which went to number one on the British chart. In the ENIGMA AUGUST 8

US, Peterson’s version reached number journalist Maureen Cleave several months earlier, caused a public outcry in seven on the Billboard Pop chart. the US and led to mass destruction of 119966 22 Beatle records. Thirty five radio stations Robert Zimmerman legally changes his banned all Beatles songs and even the name to Bob Dylan.

Ku Klux Klan made threats against the group. What Lennon actually said was 119966 33 “Christianity will go. It will go. It will The Beatles appear on the US record vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue about charts for the first time as “From Me To that, I’m right and I will be proved right.

You” debuts at #116.

We’re more popular than Jesus Christ now; I don’t know which will go first, Comedian Allan Sherman releases “Hello rock ‘n roll or Christianity. Jesus was all Muddah, Hello Fadda”, a comedy bit set right, but his disciples were thick and to the music from Ponchielli’s “Dance Of ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins The Hearts” that first appeared on his it for me.” album “My Son the Nut”. Sherman wrote 11 996677 the song about his son’s real life experience at a summer camp called Camp Pink Floyd released their debut album, Champlain, at which he wanted desper- “The Piper At the Gates of Dawn”, which ately to come home and then later would reach #6 in the UK. The LP did not pleaded to go back to. The record would contain the two singles released earlier climb to number two on Billboard’s Hot in the year, “Arnold Layne” and “See 100.

Emily Play”. It only managed to climb to #131 on The Billboard Hot 200 and took 13-year-old Little Stevie Wonder had the nearly 27 years to be certified Gold number 1 song in America with when it received the honor in March, “Fingertips - Pt. 2”. It was the first ‘live’ 1994. recording to reach number one on the 11996688 Billboard Pop Singles chart since Johnny Standley’s 1952 comic monologue “It’s in The Bubblegum Music craze was in full the Book”. gear when a group from Linden, New Jersey, who went by the unusual name 11996644 of The 1910 Fruitgum Co. cracked the Hot A single by The Young World Singers 100 with their second hit, “123 Red Light”. called “Ringo For President” was The record would climb to number five released in the US. Ringo Starr com- during its thirteen week stay and be cerments: ‘I don’t believe I will have the tified as a million seller in September. time.’

11996699 “House of the Rising Sun” by The The cover photo for The Beatles’ “Abbey Animals is released in America. Although Road” album is taken, showing the Fab the band would put 14 songs in the Top Four striding across a zebra crossing 40, this will be their only US number outside Abbey Road studios in London. one. It was reported that the song was Six shots were taken by the photograrecorded in just one take and the band pher Iain Macmillan, and the photo seswas actually in the studio for less than sion was completed in less than ten minten minutes. utes.

11996655 Jan Berry of Jan And Dean is accidentally knocked off of a camera car and breaks his leg on the first day of shooting the film Easy Come, Easy Go. 17 others are also hurt, causing Paramount to cancel the movie entirely.

1970 Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Looking Out My Back Door” is released in the US, where it will reach #2. The dream-like imagery led some to believe that the song was about drugs, but writer John Fogerty said that it was inspired by nursery rhymes and written for his then three-year old son.

August 7 The Turtles’ version of Bob Dylan’s “It Ain’t Me Babe” is released. It will Janis Joplin bought a headstone at the become the first of the band’s nine chart Mont Lawn Cemetery in Philadelphia for singles, rising to #8 by mid-month. the grave of her greatest influence, Bessie Smith. Smith died in 1937 after Although it failed to chart at all in the being refused admission to a whites only UK, Herman’s Hermits reached number hospital. one in the US with a silly little song called “I’m Henry VIII, I Am”. The tune Jim Morrison’s trial for allegedly exposwas actually written in 1910 and had ing himself onstage in Miami begins. He been popularized by Cockney comedian would be found guilty and Judge Harry Champion the following year. Goodman would sentence Jim to six Unlike the Hermits’ version, which sim- months of hard labor and a $500 fine for ply repeats the chorus three times, the public exposure and sixty days of hard original song was written with three dif- labor for profanity. His lawyer filed an ferent verses. immediate appeal and Jim was freed on the $50,000 bond. Morrison would die in 11996666 Paris, France on July 3, 1971 before his John Lennon’s comment that The Beatles legal problems could be resolved. In were “more popular than Jesus Christ” December, 2010, the Florida Clemency was re-printed in an American teen mag- Board would grant a full pardon. azine called Datebook and was widely 11 997711 reported in North America. The statement, made to London Evening Standard Frank Zappa’s “Just Another Band from 2013

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L.A.” is released. It’s the last Zappa Jagger’s deteriorating relationship with album to include former Turtles Howard his wife, Bianca.

Kaylan and Mark Volman. The two would 11 998800 leave to record on their own as Flo and Eddie.

After a five-year hiatus, John Lennon and Yoko Ono begin recording their After having half-a-dozen Top 20 hits in album “Double Fantasy” at New York’s the US, The Bee Gees finally scored their Hit Factory Studio. The LP would go to first Billboard number one with “How number one in the US after its release in Can You Mend A Broken Heart”. Barry November, less than a month before and Robin Gibb had written the song for Lennon was gunned down outside his crooner Andy Williams, but he turned it New York apartment. “Double Fantasy” down. received the 1981 Grammy Award for Album of the Year.

James Taylor had the best selling single 11 998811 in America, according to the Cashbox chart, with the Carole King written Stevie Nicks released her first solo “You’ve Got A Friend.” The song reached album, “Bella Donna”, which contained #4 in the UK and was actually recorded the singles, “Stop Draggin’ My Heart simultaneously with King’s version with Around” (with Tom Petty) and “Leather shared musicians. and Lace” (with Don Henley).

119977 33 The Carpenters led the Cashbox chart with “Yesterday Once More”, a #2 hit in the UK and on Billboard’s Hot 100. The record will become the duo’s largest selling record worldwide.

23-year-old Stevie Wonder is seriously injured when the rented car he is riding in slams into the back of a small logging truck on I-85 near Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He suffers multiple head injuries and will remain in a coma for four days.

11997744 Roberta Flack scored her third US number one hit with “Feel Like Makin’ Love”.

It was a song that she was forced to mix herself after her producer quit in the middle of her fifth album. In a vague reference to her first effort, she took producer’s credit on the LP as Rubina Flake.

119977 55 Stevie Wonder signed the recording industry’s largest contract to that date $13 million over a seven-year period with Tamla / Motown.

After a New York performance, Aerosmith signs a $125,000 recording contract with Columbia Records.

The Bee Gees had the first of several Disco style hits in the US when “Jive Talkin” topped the Billboard Hot 100.

The inspiration for the song came to Barry Gibb as his car passed over a Florida bridge on the way to a recording studio. His wife said “Hey, listen to that noise. It’s the same every evening. It’s our drive talking.” The record made it to #5 in the UK. 11997766 Elton John and Kiki Dee combined their talents for a US number one smash, “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. The song was written by Elton and his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin under the assumed names of Ann Orson and Carte Blanche.

11997788 The Rolling Stones saw their only Discostyle effort, “Miss You”, become their eighth number one single in the US. It reached #3 in the UK. It has been reported that the lyrics were inspired by Mick

Grateful Dead, died at a California rehabilitation centre. The official cause of death was a heart attack brought on by hardening of the arteries. He was reportedly buried in a red T-shirt and sweatpants.

The Beach Boys’ publishing company, Rondor Music, was threatening to file a lawsuit against Katy Perry for using the lyrics to the band’s classic song, “California Girls” on her new song of the same name. A spokesman said “Using the words or melody in a new song taken 220000 00 from an original work is not appropriate The family of Jimi Hendrix won a case at under any circumstances, particularly an international panel to evict the hold- from one as well known and iconic as er of the Internet address www.jimihen- ‘California Girls’.” drix.com.

Don Henley reached an out-of-court set22 000044 tlement with Republican Senatorial canRick James, most often remembered for didate Chuck DeVore, who used parodies the 1981 #16 hit “Super Freak”, died of of two of the singer’s hits for an election natural causes at the age of 56. He was campaign without permission. “All She also given writing credit on MC Wants To Do Is Dance” and “The Boys of Hammer’s 1990, #8 hit, “U Can’t Touch Summer” were used in campaign videos This”, which heavily sampled “Super on YouTube as “All She Wants To Do Is Freak”.

Tax” and “Hope Of November”.

22 000055 A report by 560 UK undertakers revealed that bereaved families preferred Pop songs to Hymns at funerals.

“Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler was the most requested song, along with Robbie Williams “Angels”, Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love 11998822 You” and Elton John’s “Candle In The Dexys Midnight Runners lead the UK sin- Wind”. Among the most unusual songs gles chart with “Come On Eileen”. It played was Queen’s “Another One Bites would prove to be the best selling UK The Dust”. single of the year and would cross the pond to top the Billboard chart in April, Two of the jurors who voted to acquit 1983. The group took their name from Michael Jackson of child molestation the amphetamine Dexedrine, commonly and other charges said on NBC’s Today known as Dexys, and therefore an apos- show that they now regret their decitrophe is never added between the “y” sions. and the “s”.

22 000077 11998844 The US National Musical Publishers’ Prince started a 24 week run at the top Association joined Viacom, Nickelodeon, of the Billboard Hot 200 chart with his Paramount Pictures and Comedy Central sixth album, “Purple Rain”. The RIAA in seeking to sue YouTube, claiming that lists it as having gone Platinum 13 times songwriters were not being properly compensated for performances that over. appeared on the site.

11 998866 2200 0088 David Crosby of Crosby, Stills And Nash as well as The Byrds, is released from Isaac Hayes, the pioneering singer, songprison after serving three years for drug writer and musician whose “Theme From and weapons possession. His conviction Shaft” won Academy and Grammy would be overturned by a Texas appeals awards, was found dead at his home in Memphis after an apparent stroke. He court in November 1987. was 65.

Queen gave what would be their last 2200 0099 ever ‘live’ performance when they A Federal jury ruled that a 25-year-old appeared at Knebworth Festival.

Boston University graduate student must 11998877 pay $675,000 to four music companies Wilson Pickett was found guilty by a for illegally downloading and distributNew Jersey court of possessing a shot- ing more than two dozen songs. The man gun with intent to endanger life follow- said that he would file for bankruptcy ing his involvement in a bar room fist protection. fight.

Plans for a free show to commemorate 11999922 the 40th anniversary of the legendary Session drummer Jeff Porcaro, one of Woodstock music festival were canthe most sought after musicians of the celled by Michael Lang, one of the origi1970s, died following cardiac arrest. nal promoters. Lang told Rolling Stone Porcaro had played on Boz Scaggs’ “Silk magazine that the reason for the cancelDegrees” before forming Toto. Over the lation was “Money. No sponsors.” years he would also perform on such albums as “The Wall”, “Gaucho”, “The Aerosmith lead singer, 61-year-old End of the Innocence”, “Luck of the Steven Tyler, was airlifted to Rapid City Draw” and many others. Porcaro was Regional Hospital after falling from the stage during a concert at the Sturgis just 38 years old.

Motorcycle Rally in Rapid City, S.D. 11999955 220011 00 53-year-old Jerry Garcia, leader of The Joey Scarbury led the Cashbox Best Sellers chart with “Theme From The Greatest American Hero”. Although follow-up hits eluded him, he would go on to find songwriting success in 1990 when he co-wrote The Oak Ridge Boys’ #1 Country hit, “No Matter How High”.

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2200 1111 The Monkees canceled their nine remaining tour dates, citing “business issues” as the cause. Three of the original band members, Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones and Peter Tork, went back on the road earlier in the year after a decade apart.

22001122 Marvin Hamlisch, who had a US #3 hit in 1974 with an instrumental called “The Entertainer”, died at the age of 68 after a brief, unspecified illness.

The members of Mötley Crüe and Kiss announced that they would donate $100,000 to support those affected by the Aurora, Colorado movie theater shootings where 12 people were killed and 58 were injured. The musicians hoped that their gesture will encourage others to give.

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RUMOUR'S MILL RRU UM MO OU URR H HAASS IITT… … …Get ready for a fun filled day of mud and music at the 2013 Chattanooga Mud Run. The muddy 5K race will be held on Saturday, August 17 at 8:30 am at the picturesque Greenway Farms, a 180-acre city park located in Hixson. The cost to enter the 5K race is $250 for a team of five.

Proceeds raised from the Chattanooga Mud Run benefits Habitat for Humanity of Greater Chattanooga Area. Participants will climb walls, trudge through icy mud baths, crawl through tunnels and complete more than 20 obstacles! The fun continues after the race with live entertainment featuring performances by Chattanooga’s very own rock and Mee cchhaa nnii cc , roll bands: SS oouull M EEnnddee lloouuzz , and Q Quueeee nn LLiigghhttnnii nngg. …Cult electro rockers TThhee PPooss ttaall SSeerr vvii ccee have split for good following their show at the Lollapalooza music festival over the weekend. The band reunited earlier this year following an extended hiatus for a tour marking the 10th anniversary of their 2003 album Give Up, and released two

new singles, but fans hoping for more new material have been dealt a devastating blow.

Gii bbbbaarr dd took to his Frontman BBeenn G Twitter page shortly before the band’s set at Lollapalooza in Chicago, Illinois on Saturday to announce the group’s split. The Dee aatthh musician, who also fronts D CCaabb ffoorr CCuuttiiee , declared the band’s set at Lollapalooza and a late night “aftershow” at Chicago’s Metro Theatre on Sunday would be TThhee PPooss ttaa ll SSee rrvv iiccee ’’ss final gigs. …Chicago fans of the BBaa cckkss ttrr ee ee tt BB ooyyss left Chicago’s FirstMerit Bank Pavilion Friday night feeling a little shortchanged after the sound was cut off when the venue’s 11 p.m. curfew clicked in approximately five minutes before the end of the group’s set, reports the Chicago Tribune. But don’t blame it on the Chicago Park District. They passed/tweeted the buck to Live Nation which manages the venue. The promotion company issued a statement Saturday night saying the concert’s start had been delayed because the BBaa cckksstt rree eett BBooyyss ’’ “state of the art” setup had resulted in opening the doors later than usual, thus bumping into the 11 p.m. curfew.

…Not only are BBrr ii aann Wii llss oonn and guitar wiz extraordiW naire JJee ffff BBee cckk co-headlining an autumn adventure, but BBeeaa cchh BBooyy ss All JJaarr ddii nnee and original co-founder A Daa vvii dd M Maa rr kkss are also member D onboard. Such a deal! That’s a lot of rock’ n’ roll history to fit on one stage, but the venues should be big enough to host all that talent.

Scheduled for places such as Atlanta’s Chastain Park and Las Vegas’ Pearl, this magnificent road trip begins Sept. 27 in Hollywood, Fla.

K iidd RR oocc kk values his per…K sonal space and family’s safety, and made that clear in an online message after a man tried to break into his Detroit-area home.

Security cameras showed a man ramming a gate with a white van Wednesday afternoon on the Clarkston property, north of Detroit. The man then tried to break into the house, but failed to do so, Oakland County Miicchhaa eell M MccCCaabbee said Undersheriff M in a release. The man was on crutches, which along with the van’s description may prompt someone to report his identity, MccCCaabbee . K K iidd RR oocckk according to M offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to the man’s arrest in a post on the musician’s website. …A longtime member of Googgooll BBoorrddee llll oo is taking frontman G EEuuggeenn ee H Huuttzz to court, claiming the singer kicked him out of the group.

Orree nn K O K aapp llaa nn filed suit in Manhattan Supreme Court July 26 for personal damages of at least $950,000 plus another $950,000 for Gypsy Punks LLC, a corporation that once held the band’s money, the New York Daily News reported.

According to court documents Huuttzz took obtained by the paper, H

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over management of the band’s money in 2009. The frontman began paying himself a six-figure salary, set up new corporations and started transferring funds into them – in total about $500,000 – as “loans” from the Gypsy Punks account, the suit says. …TThhee TTuurr ttllee ss are spearheading a major lawsuit against SiriusXM — a $100 million class action that claims the satellite radio giant has infringed on millions of old recordings from a multitude of artists, reports The Hollywood Reporter. In 1972, audio recordings began falling under federal copyright protection, but protection for songs recorded prior to that date is more ambiguous. SiriusXM transmits thousands of pre-1972 songs under the authority of section 114 of the Copyright Act, which carves out a statute of limitation on exclusive rights. Artist compensation is also arranged under this act and overseen by the Copyright Royalty Board, which sets statutory royalty rates for satellite radio and are collected by Sound Exchange to distribute. …G Gee oorr ggee D Duukkee , the Grammy-winning jazz keyboardist and producer whose sound infused acoustic jazz, electronic jazz, funk, R&B and soul in a 40-year-plus career, has died. He was 67.

If you know any truths, half-truths or outright lies about the music and club scene, send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.com.

- Sissy Vance

Adam’s Antics Still Thirll He sings he dances, he even play guitar. He’s Adam Ant. Adam Ant put on one hell of a show Tuesday evening in Atlanta as he relived past glory and infused new material off his latest album that blended well with the classics.

someone who is literally a whirling dervish, he seemed a little confined. Touring with dual drummers he was able to faithfully replicate the pounding tribal beat and rhythm that he was synonymous with in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s.

Unlike Britney Spears, Janet Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and the likes, Adam Ant needs no choreographer for his dance moves. His moves are genuine and even to this day moves around the stage gracefully as he did at the Center Stage Theatre. You see, Adam is more than a recording artist.

As he proved once again Tuesday and every time that I’ve gotten to witness him, he is a performance artist, mixing music, dance and visuals. Not visuals like sophisticated sets or lighting, instead through his movement on stage, his interaction with not only his band, but the audience as well.

While everyone there knew every single song he performed by heart and sang along, his moves, spins and provocative stares into the crowd mesmerized a very mixed group of people in attendance.

Adam Ant play for a solid two hours pounding out 29 classics or soon to be classics as the songs he performed off the new album fit in well with the more established material.

Despite coming into our conscious 35 years ago, Ant still holds up well. I could tell he was getting a little winded before the end of the show, but I seriously doubt anyone half his age could keep up what he was doing onstage. The only time the show slowed down was when he introduced the song “Wonderful” and towards the end when he took time to introduce the band. After 25 songs Adam left the stage with the band. After about a minute break they came back for a four-song encore that included a cool cover of the T. Rex classic, “Bang A Gong (Get It On)’”.

Dressed in full pirate regalia Ant seemed more comfortable on stage this time than when I saw him last year at Music Midtown Festival. I think he was a little confined by the stage, which for most bands is plenty large enough, but for

the current bands that have that hipster following. Prima Donna plays rock and roll the way it’s supposed to be played.

HOT COLLEGE T R A C K S According to Chattanooga State’s CMJ Report

Addaam A m AAnntt SS eett LL iisstt

1. DAFT PUNK

Marrying the Gunner’s Daughter Dog Eat Dog Beat My Guest Kick!

Ants Invasion Hardmentoughblokes Stand and Deliver Shrink Play Room at the Top Kings of the Wild Frontier Wonderful Whip in My Valise Vince Taylor Stay in the Game Cool Zombie Strip Desperate but Not Serious Cleopatra Never Trust a Man (With Egg on His Face) Zerox Vive Le Rock Antmusic Goody Two Shoes Cartrouble Prince Charming

2. JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT 3. NINE INCH NAILS 4. TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND 5. VAMPIRE WEEKEND 6. LORDE 7. ROBERT RANDOLPH & THE FAMILY BAND 8. PEARL JAM 9. KINGS OF LEON 10. MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD 11. JACK JOHNSON 12. CIVIL WARS 13. ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ROOTS 14. ARCTIC MONKEYS 15. JJ GREY & MOFRO 16. MATT POND 17. PANIC! AT THE DISCO 18. BRETT DENNEN 19. QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE 20. HOUNDMOUTH

Opening the show for Adam was Prima Donna. If they are the future of rock and roll, then there is hope. The band is well-polished (not in the way of an over-produced and packaged product). The write and sing songs that are addictive and leave you wanting more.

They are a refreshing change to ENIGMA

Encore: Press Darlings Lady/Fall In Play Bang a Gong (Get It On) (T. Rex cover) Physical (You’re So)

AUGUST 8

ADVENTURE PICKS 1. GOV'T MULE 2. ED ROLAND AND THE SWEET TEA PROJECT 3. THE HEADSTONES

- Dave Weinthal

WWW.WAWL.ORG 2O13

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2013: Do or Die For Atlanta?

Could this be the year? Long-suffering Falcons fans are hoping so. 2013 I pretty much a do-or-die scenario for Atlanta as a few key players in the twilight of their storied careers take one last shot at the Lombardi trophy.

any younger, maybe a year. Michael Turner was released after five strong years with the team. Turner holds the franchise record for rushing touchdowns. He’s slowed down, however. His yards per carry dropped a full yard last season. But

Gonzalez has been Matt Ryan’s safety net since he arrived in Flowery Branch four years ago. Ryan has almost become too reliant on the future Hall-of-Famer. But those four years have produced 45 wins and the first playoff win since 2004.

A number of faces have changed, but are they the right ones on a team that literally fell ten yards short of the Super Bowl last year?

Gone are two veterans on the offensive line, running back Michael Turner defensive end John Abraham and a couple of components in the secondary.

GM Thomas Dimitroff has put together an incredible support staff behind Smith with Nolan and Koetter. The key will be if all the new pieces put into this puzzle will fit and if they do, how long before they truly gel. Surprisingly injuryfree except Sean Witherspoon, who injured his hand Monday the Falcons look good. No real major injuries and suspended players like Seattle and the 49ers (both sexy picks to compete for the Super Bowl). The Falcons are among the frontrunners, but their drama-free existence has made others overlook them. No one took them seriously The receiving corps has been set the last year despite a 13-win regular lat couple of years. Roddy White season. and Julio Jones may be the most daunting pair of receivers in league Hopefully a few of these questions history. Add Harry Douglas to the will be answered, but unlikely in the mix and you literally have literally first preseason game. The Falcons three number one receivers on the take on the Cincinnati Bengals field at any given time. As long as Thursday at 8pm at the Georgia Ryan has time to setup something is Dome. Ruse up! bound to happen. With a few changes on the line this year - Dave Weinthal because of retirement and salary cap issues that is in question a little as well.

There are still plenty of questions as the Falcons head into their preseason opener Thursday as they host the Cincinnati Bengals.

First, will the defense be better.

This is Mike Nolan’s second season installing his system. The team made great strides last season as the secondary, the main liability of Mike Smith’s teams really shined last year.

The defense still gave up a lot of third down conversions but the addition of Assante Samuel really made a difference. During the playoffs both Seattle and San Francisco put up yards on the air, but what is not noted is that these were short passes that became big gains because of the linebacking corps, not the secondary. And while the Falcons drafted two promising cornerbacks, the linebacker play is still in question. Another issue on defense was putting enough pressure on opposing quarterbacks. An aging John Abraham is gone. He led the team in sacks last year and just about every year since joining the team in ’06, but it was obvious he’s starting to lose a step. That and the outrageous money he wanted for his age at defensive end (36) made it easy to part ways. Osi Umenyiora, the main off-season defensive acquisition is five years younger, but his last couple of years with the Giants have just been okay, not great. Maybe a change of scenery will do him and the Falcons well.

still has issues. Scoring is still an issue. Despite the ball flying through the air with White , Jones and Gonzalez making leaping catches, scoring has only improved marginally – by maybe two points a game compared to the old fuddyduddy offense that was run prior to Koetter’s arrival. Too many times the Falcons settled for field goals and later in the season and into the playoffs turnovers started to become an issue. Despite all the success last season, Mike Smith was a 49-yard field goal miss away from being on the unemployment line.

I don’t blame Turner as much as I do the new offense that is a pass friendly scheme. Blocking schemes are different as are the offense’s priorities. Turner’s runs were pretty much anticipated by defenses who shut him down. Despite this, Turner still had a nose for the end zone. He hit pay dirt ten times in 2012. Steven Jackson just turned 30.

He’s being called a “young 30” by coaches and pundits and come much hyped for St. Louis where he was the only bright spot for the team the last ten years. How much he really has left in the tank we will see and many Despite the gaudy (for Atlanta) passlike myself wonder if the Falcons ing game last season the defense didn’t make a mistake by taking Eddie Lacey out of Alabama in the draft.

Pass is the priority again under Dirk Koetter. Tony Gonzalez is back for his final season a quest for that illusive ring. Are the Falcons’ putting too much of a burden and hope of The running game really didn’t get the shoulders of Gonzalez?

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THIS WEEK’S ANSWERS 2013

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