FEELING FRESH
@e2Living
Editor: Tori Halman living@ epigram.org.uk
Deputy: Deputy: Sophia Hadjipateras Izzy Kerr shadjipateras@ ikerr@ epigram.org.uk epigram.org.uk
Our guide of what to love and hate this term
Living
Dear Silly Little Fresh, Confining my advice solely to the mistakes you made in Freshers’ Week (believe me, you make plenty more), I shall attempt to warn you about the alcohol-fuelled, sleep-deprived, socially all-consuming frenzy that you are about to embark on. 1) Drinking games are not your friend. The worst culprit: ‘Ring of Fire’. This infamous game, with its dozens of rules that you currently do not understand, is guaranteed to get you obliterated. The more drunk you get, the more you lose, and the more you lose, the more drunk you become. Sneaky eh.
Winter Clothes Jumpers, onesies, oversized coats, hats, gloves and scarves; with these clothes, every day is a duvet day.
2) Learn to powernap. Forget the whole ‘I can’t sleep during the daytime’ baloney and seriously perfect this technique because honey, those hungover scraps of halfsleep you manage to accumulate during the day between introductory lectures and hall photos will be gold dust. 3) Having heard about Motion’s extortionate drink prices, be wary about overcompensating on the pre-drinks before you go to the Freshers’ Ball, if indeed you decide to go (not worth the money in my opinion). It’s a little embarrassing when your newly-made course friends gleefully recount how you hugged them tenderly and shouted ‘I love English!’ (CRINGE) before stumbling off to dance in the crowd.
Style
Travel
Lots of love from your future self, Sofia x
BORDERLINE NEWS
Shutterstock: A-R-T
In conclusion, take care of yourself, be friendly and whether you admit it or not, you are a massive lightweight.
What’s On
Online: Morwenna Scott livingonline@ epigram.org.uk
After some serious dissecting of BBC news à la Inspector Clouseau it seems that there have been some unmissable stories and unprecedented happenings in the news recently. Lo and behold, check out these meaty headlines:
WING BEARER
EAR-Y OCCURANCES
On 17th September, a wedding in Wiltshire was delayed as Darcy the owl, who was meant to fly the ring down the aisle, fell asleep in the church roof. Sonia Cadman hired the specially trained owl as a surprise for her fiancé, who is interested in falconry. Darcy, however, was only trusted with replica rings. Ms Cadman stated ‘the owl was meant to deliver the rings to the glove my husband-to-be was wearing, but she just flew straight past the glove and into the rafters’. It took an hour to tempt Darcy down, however the owl-loving couple said that the wedding was not spoilt.
Rugby player ‘bit off piece of ear’ - 16th September 2013. It seems that some unlawful activity has been going on between the Sidmouth and Bristol rugby lads. Not only has an unwarranted display of violence been shown by Mr Unsworth who apparently ‘crawled up his body until he reached the right ear and then bit down on it with such force he severed the skin’ but, inexplicably, ‘the piece of ear allegedly bitten off had not been seen since’. If said segment of ear is found please contact Living as a matter of urgency (email addresses above).
It’s time to pack your bags, leave the relative luxury of home and move back to the joys of student living. But if the prospect of another year of Lounge, the ASS and a diet of Sainsbury’s Basics isn’t enough to fill you with excitement, a new year of e2 madness is sure to seal the deal. Even though many of us are haggered souls, weary after previous years of excess, this issue, we’re feeling fresh. Bringing you articles from Albania to a guide to freshers’ romances, e2 is the perfect antidote to any post-freshers’ week blues.
Two for One Pizzas at the Hill Pizza Express style pizzas at cash-strapped student prices, every Tuesday - what’s not to love?!
Our own space Goodbye nagging parents, hello freedom to lie in bed all day watching old episodes of Friends.
The end of sun-kissed skin The tans that do survive ending up being hidden under layers of clothing: not cool. No more mum and dad Instead we are left with a bleak future of pot noodles and sinks swamped with unwashed cutlery.
e2 wants you! Write for us by emailing our section editors or meeting them at the times below
Meet the e2 team!
Living: Tori Halman, Sophia Hadjipateras and Izzy Kerr will meet at the Refectory on Thursday 3rd October at 1.15pm. Travel: Olivia Lace-Evans and Andrea Valentino will meet at the Refectory on Thursday 3rd October at 12.15pm. Style: Maddy Streets will meet at the ASS library café on Friday 4th October at 12.30pm. e2 is edited by Alex Bradbrook deputy@epigram.org.uk
30.09.2013
FRESHERS’ WEEK and the...
child on the back of an out-of-control horse”
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I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly together person. Relatively organised, usually calm generally normal. But since I’ve had to start making Actual Real Life Decisions™, I feel like I’m a small child that has somehow ended up on the back of an out-of-control horse and I’m seconds away from slipping off the back and being dragged along behind it, one foot tangled in the reins.
3
Guestlist:
Most pre-drinks comprise of a nice, diverse motley crowd of the following stereotypes...
The ‘I’m not drunk enough’ The emotional wreck The toilet-seat hugger The awkward over-sharer The controlling Taxi-booker
Flickr: assbach
ckr :
What to bring Cups: if you can get hold of the classic red American party cups you will be eternally cool Your cheap pre-drink of choice: nb. Sainsbury’s Basics vodka is a staple & probably won’t make you go blind. iPod speakers: have your playlist at the ready – start with some classic house and never leave your ipod unattended. Shuffle reveals dangerous personality traits best left for later on in the year.
set
UNDERCOVER FRESHER: “I feel like I’m a small
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Gus
Every time I’m prompted by a family member into explaining what my goals are, I’m reminded of a literary gem I once heard: ‘my goal is not to wake up at forty with the bitter realisation that I’ve wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens’. It makes me want to just pull the neckline of my t-shirt over my head and live inside a warm, dark, cloth cave for the rest of my life, where everything is soft and nothing hurts.
What to wear: Girls: the outfit you’ve planned to wear for the night out. High alcohol levels + easy access to your fancy dress box = a disaster no amount of detagging will fix. Guys: unless you want to sport eau-de-Carlsberg for the rest of the night, it’s better to keep the trackies on until last minute.
kr:
I have since realised that sitting in your room alone with a cup of tea, speaking to somebody you’re almost definitely not going to end up marrying and producing lots of (careersuccessful, sporting prodigy, curly haired) babies, whilst the sound of your new friends laughter drifts through the walls, is not the way to spend a night. The harsh reality of Freshers and relationships is that they are guaranteed to die. Yes, the longevity of such relationships, and the causes of death, will differ. Some fade away to old age and some are cut off abruptly by the cheating-disease, but please, innocent little Freshers, take my advice and think seriously about couple-euthanasia. If you haven’t already ended it, do it now. Get your single on, go out and drink away your lonely sorrows, and before you know it you’ll be more Fierce than Beyoncé herself. Plus, you can trade in your old ball-and-chain for a university boyfriend anyway. Mathematically speaking, his stats are better: there’s a 90% chance he will be Southern, and they sound like Hugh Grant – 100 points, he will live within maximum 1 mile – 50 points for convenience – and he probably knows the Rugby team 10000 points. Lastly, I am aware it’s not protocol to give advice you can’t stick to yourself. But I’m no therapist. Fine, you loved up Fresher, you win. Boyfriends rule, they give you presents, and hugs, and presents. Ignore my advice, give it a try. After all, it makes a great shield from creeps in clubs, and you just might get a good article out of it later.
Fli
“The harsh reality of Freshers’ relationships is that they are guaranteed to die.”
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cak e
Last year as my long summer came to a close, as a nervous undergraduate, moving in day arrived. I unpacked my belongings into my new bedroom, plastered those romantic couple shots of my then Cambridge undergraduate boyfriend and I looking out thoughtfully into the distance all over my walls. I graced Ikea photo frames with his face and scattered every gift he had ever bought me around my room, in what then seemed like a perfect shrine to my other half, and what now has the same effect upon me as the Haunted House at a fairground. As we all know, a natural and inevitable side effect of relationships is smugness. Horrible, ugly, vomit inducing, my-life-is-so-perfect-I-am-so-complete, smugness. Yes, Ladies and Gentleman, in case you haven’t already guessed, during Freshers’ week I was firmly in a relationship. I didn’t kiss my flatmates in clubs, or spend my bus journeys unashamedly flirting with the hot guy sitting next to me, much. In Fresher’s week and the months that followed, I made some great friends, but none were as inseparable as Skype and myself.
PREDRINKS: The essential guide
Flic
Freshers’ Week. The clue is in the name. It’s a new place filled with new people and time to make a fresh start. I’m not telling you to destroy any relationships that you ever formed prior to uni, I’m just saying that this is a time to be selfish and the only way to do that is to be completely on your own. In other words, SINGLE. First day of Freshers’ Week 2012, I arrived cripplingly nervous, but also excited, probably to the extent of looking slightly deranged as I hauled my way-too-many bags into my new room. The reason for this combination of dramatic emotions? I was completely alone for the first time. Responsible for nobody but myself and free to go and do as I pleased. Admittedly, this feeling wears off after a few weeks as the realisation of just how expensive food/washing/ transport is dawned on me. But in Freshers’ Week that feeling is extremely liberating. It isn’t just freedom from your parents that’s important, however much you may love them, it’s also the chance to meet, talk, flirt and (oh my) even sleep with whoever you choose without worrying how your boyfriend/girlfriend in [insert whatever location] is going to react. Or, even worse, whether they’re doing the exact same thing. Sneaky blighters. If the summer before university didn’t render the relationship dead, the paranoia that your little honeybun is off flinging their Superhero cape on somebody else’s bedroom floor definitely will. Long story short, it isn’t worth the stress or the aggravation. Plus you’re missing out on one of the best times of your life so you can sit alone in your room on Skype to your soon to be ex-snugglepuff while everyone else is getting to know one another and having a far better time than you. Harsh, but true. Yeah you’ll probably make mistakes (lots of mistakes) and there will most likely be at least one thing you regret, but you’ll definitely end up laughing about it later. Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go, but you only get one chance at a true Fresher-ship, so make sure you do it well.
... not so single student
Yu m my Pa n
... single
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The testosterone-fuelled alpha-male Now I know where I’m going and I have something to focus on, like the basic admin tasks that require extreme precision (top of the list: trying to stop being ugly for five seconds so that my mum can take a photo for my UCard that won’t make me want to rip my eyes out every time I have to show it to someone). I’ve been able to find other people doing my course and have a look at Freshers’ Week and actually feel excited at the prospect of it all. Naturally, the fear hasn’t totally subsided - I’m still hit at least 10 times a day with the sickening feeling that everyone in my flat will hate me and I’ll have to spend the whole of Freshers’ drinking Tesco Everyday Value Gin from the bottle to try to stop the crying. But it’s getting better. Friends that started uni last year tell me that as soon as I get to Bristol everything will seem trivial. They’ve said I’ll just get swept up in all the excitement and lose myself in everyone else’s sweaty, nervous adrenaline. I think it’ll be alright. I’ve got a new duvet cover and an acceptable amount of Home Storage Solutions from IKEA. My gran only lives a 20 minute bus ride away. It’s gonna be fine.
As I, and many other 18-year-olds across the country, feel towards the end of August, it seems as though the horse is slowing down now. Maybe it’s stopped galloping and has settled for a contented trot. Indeed, it was only after Results Day that I realised just how much time I’d spent stressing about university - the 15th came and I am going to miss the dog though. went and I suddenly found myself with at least five thousand extra hours in every day, and nothing to fill the time with. Being a shaky, nauseous disaster in the run up to my results had been a full time job!
Elinor Lower
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@e2Living
Living
MOST LIKELY TO... Laugh at the name of: ASS Library oto: ies h p d en unk Whitela r d n ea Tak orilla o g The
Your alternative map of Bristol Doub
le you
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Lose your dignity (and clothing)
tband
size i
n one
hour
e gym: Motion
th A sweatier place than
Decide Bristol is a far superior Uni
Have a midnight dip: Victoria Rooms
Buy a gap-yah style rug: Gloucester Road
Flickr: looper23
Shutterstock: Paul D Smith
Travel
Induce memory loss: The Cori Tap
What’s On
Style
How not to look like a Fresher It’s that time of year again. The air on Woodland Road is saturated with wild fresher enthusiasm. You can’t move without bumping into some hungover first year who doesn’t know where they’re going. Your crawl to lectures of a Monday morning is punctuated by excitable returning students gushing about their summer jaunts around South East Asia/interrailing/some bizarre house music festival in Croatia. Essentially, the difference between a fresher and a returner is cynicism: replace those wide eyes with a large dose of apathy; that bushy tail with an aura of hipster detachment. Want to know how to set yourself above the fresher mob and pass yourself off as an uber-cool reFresher? Look no further. 1) Go to the ASS. Nobody with a sane mind goes to the ASS in first year. If you are found lurking around the second floor hallway, chatting into your iPhone 5 in what you falsely believe is a respectfully hushed voice, people will automatically presume that you are not a fresher. 2) Moan about the ASS. Even if you have no right to be moaning about the ASS, because it’s the first time you’ve set foot in the place, or you’ve never been, or it’s not even your library, you will never pass as a returning student unless you have a deep-rooted loathing of the ASS and its inhabitants. Should anyone probe you further on why this is, mumble vaguely about lack of seats, maths students
who DON’T EVEN GO HERE, hideous 1960s grey architecture, the Macbook Army of arts students, pretentious ASS cafe fashion, smoking the passive equivalent of 10 cigarettes on your way in, air conditioning or lack thereof; any/all of the above. Alternatively, contact me: I have a pre-prepared diatribe ready to go for anyone who’s interested on those lowliest of human specimens who leave a lone highlighter and their Barbour jacket out on a desk to save a spot while they go off for 4 hours of lectures.
“the difference between a fresher and a returner is cynicism” 3) Go to Bunker, but pretend you don’t want to go to Bunker. It is not cool to like Bunker, but it’s even less cool not to go at all. For maximum coolbeans, because you’re so much better than Bunker, go to Bunker but tell anyone who will listen how you were forced to go because your housemate ‘wanted to get with this girl’, and how much it didn’t compare to that amazing night down in Stokes Croft with That Guy who did That Thing in That Place nobody has ever heard of. It doesn’t matter if you know where Stokes Croft is - nobody does.
book buying session back in my dark days as a fresher. If it says ‘required’, get it from the ASS (rule 1), and renew it every 2 weeks to piss off anyone else who might want to use it. If it says ‘highly recommended’, don’t even think about it until exams. And don’t waste valuable drinking time looking at any list with a less urgent heading than this. You can get through the first few weeks’ seminars with an expert combination of ‘I’m still waiting for it to be delivered from Amazon’. 5) NO MAPS. Not any kind of map. That map you have? Put it the hell down. Maps are the enemy of sophisticated, indifferent second year cool. Thoroughly familiarise yourself with the layout of the university by dragging and dropping the little guy from Google Streetview and walking digitally round the campus several thousand times before you even set your physical foot here. Bristol is not big, it is not challenging, and it is not scary. You do not need a map. Just follow someone who looks like they know what they’re doing.
That’s all there is to it! Don’t forget to enjoy your time as a fresher. You will never, ever, not once again in your life be this enthusiastic for anything. Exam panic, stress about what you’re doing with your life, and irritation at younger, more effervescent students all comes with time anyway, so ignore my advice and make the most of this period of unbridled excitement and only 4) Don’t buy everything off the reading list. I having to achieve 40% while you can. But seriously have many a virginal, white-edged, un-thumbed - no maps. tome on my bookshelf thanks to an overzealous
Imogen Rowley
30.09.2013
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Nonetheless, your mother dearest will insist on cleaning the kitchen her way and will claim that the bed is made incorrectly. Let’s get things into perspective here, how many ways are there to actually make a bed? However, the one aspect that ticks me off – I’m sure this madness is just my own special problem – is that baking is effectively banned for fear that I shall break the kitchen. As if that is even possible. That maroon patch of cupcake batter, spilt by yours truly age eight, forever haunts me. To male readers: to some women a culinary ban goes against our nature. Yes, I know we’re meant to be headstrong, career-oriented women who resent the stereotype, but hell, sometimes a woman’s gotta bake! I took it upon myself do so the moment I waved my mother off on holiday. Some throw wild house parties, others vacuum in the nude when they get a free house, I answer my inner 1950s housewife and get cookin’. It was 7am and by lunchtime I had garnished 5 devils food cakes and 2 batches of oatmeal raisin cookies. We survive a year without parental guidance, but at home I’m that ten year old imbecile again. Ringing any bells with anyone? I sense a #firstworldproblems coming on. This is true, but I must concur that we are (occasionally) responsible adults who have proved ourselves in this year out – two for those gap yahs! This freedom should not be sacrificed when we fly back to the nest. Yet, alas this may be a ‘when in Rome’ situation…when at home, mum’s the boss and you’re the nobody kiddies.
SHOPPING LIST Berocca
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To be caught red handed at 8 a.m. on Hampton Road dressed as a smurf or superhero.
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I’d seldom gone clubbing prior to Unay, so I was ready to dig down and unleash the thirsty, experimental side of my inner-student as soon as I arrived in Bristol. Freshers’ week meant only three things to me: to get crunk, to meet a tonne of new people and to run around like mad in undiscovered clubs in a new city, all before the boring stuff started.
“There’s honestly trying to make a
Blue Juice Smoothie Make up wipes Gym membership Paracetamol
7
Feeling not so fresh
Friends TV box set
Fry up
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To count the wedge of lime with your To wear the Tequila shot as same underwear 1 of your 5 a three times, insideday. out is as good as new right?!
To call Domino’s in the cab on the way home from Bunker so as to ensure a pizza is on your doorstop upon arrival.
nothing worse than
Face mask and cucumber
To use somebody else’s super high-quality shampoo and conditioner every time you take a shower, sharing is caring.
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2L Mineral Water Coffee
To steal someone else’s pre-ordered cab. Of course my name is Rebecca!
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To see 41% as an achievement that warrants a celebratory night in Lounge, it’s still a pass isn’t it?
hangover breakfast in a bombsite” The only morning during my first term that I didn’t wake up in last night’s glad rags with a hangover was the morning of class registration (in truth, that was the first night and I was going easy on the white wine). Social intercourse was what I was after for the
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The past year, you have lived a life of adventure out in the wilderness that is Bristol – disregarding the fact that your bills are included and security patrols the halls - and so you are glad to return to the motherland. Back to the home and hearth, to Mama Bear, where your laundry is folded and ‘Simply M&S’ cuisine welcomes you with open arms. Yes, I’m not going to deny that this luxury is relished, but if your household is anything like mine, it comes at a price. Indeed, your parents will give you greater freedom, but there will be slight conflict within the household. In Bristol, you cooked your own dinner without fatally poisoning yourself, made your bed and subsequently completed the arduous task of laundry without making a rainbow of your clothes that only a leprechaun trying to find his pot o’ gold would praise: overall you have been the Don of your household. Not bad, right?
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To join every society under the sun at Freshers’ fair, and only continue going to one. Wine and cheese society had free tasters, it would have been rude not to.
ey
September: the month of new beginnings; the start of a new academic term where bright-eyed freshlings grace the Bristolian streets as Sainsbury’s rapidly restock their Basics vodka supplies. It is a time for saying goodbye to life at home and reverting to the budget-eating, permanently hungover state that is uni. So I wonder, have we been treated differently at home after this year out?
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To laugh every time you say the ASS library, even after a whole year at Uni
:k ag
Stephanie Rihon
To refuse to check your balance at all in the first term, ignorance is bliss right?
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ic kr
#1
1
Fl
ROOM 101
NO SHAME?
first few weeks; t h a t quintessential What-amI-like moment when you wake up, stumble into your kitchen and hear about last night’s ‘madness’ from people you’re still getting to know. All was well until our shared kitchen became a hub for said madness; the stench of cigarettes and cheap cider is so underrated. There’s honestly nothing worse than trying to make a hangover breakfast in a bombsite and then logging onto Facebook and facepalming as a plethora of shameful pictures fill your profile, courtesy of the girl from across the hall.
As freshers reading this will soon find out, the best nights out in Bristol are mostly mid-week. Heading to class the next day hungover is a lesson in excessive drinking that I haven’t had to pay government fees to learn, but rather low work wages sacrificed for cheap vodka and club wristbands. As if it was some gateway drug to fun and poverty, Freshers’ week flipped me onto a slippery slope; I blame my fresher-self for robbing me of my student duties that week and spitting me out a bigger fan of parties than books. Never mind. As the saying goes: work hard, play hard. Chris Thomas
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Editor: Deputy: Online Olivia Lace-Evans Andrea Valentino Emilia Morano-Williams travel@ deputytravel@ travelonline@ epigram.org.uk epigram.org.uk epigram.org.uk
@e2Travel
Living
You’re Avon a laugh A fresh take on Bristol
What’s On
After significant redevelopment, the Bristol Harbourside has had a bit of a face-lift and has exploded in popularity. Many students will have already made their way down to the famous boat-club Thekla. However, there is so much more to explore. As well as a number of great bars and restaurants, students can embrace their inner tourist by visiting sites including Brunel’s SS Great Britain or the Olympic-inspired exhibition in the At-Bristol centre.
Wills Buildings on Park Street Flickr: Emsee
Style
Travel
The Harbourside
Georgian houses in Clifton. Flickr: CA Phoenix
Despite living in one of the most exciting cities in the UK, many students fail to break out of the bubble between University and The Triangle. This guide, purely based on personal experience and the helpful input of the internet, will hopefully give Bristol students a few more ideas to spice up their lives.
Gloucester Road Gloucester Road is one of the most unique, exciting and eclectic areas in Bristol. It is also famous for having the largest number of independent traders on any single road in Europe. Boasting a number of art galleries, vintage and boutique shops, as well as quirky bars and restaurants this area has a real bohemian edge to it. No wonder this Bristol gem is such a popular student haunt.
Park Street Clifton Village
Clifton Village is a beautiful area of Bristol and contains one of the most famous landmarks in the city. When the sun is shining, a rare occurrence in Bristol, the Clifton Suspension Bridge has fantastic views towards the distant hills of Somerset. One of the most enjoyable aspects of Clifton Village is the stunning Georgian architecture. Spend an afternoon weaving your way through the streets, exploring the shops and cafes and admiring the impressive facades.
If you make your way past the drinking holes on The Triangle there is a multitude of establishments to explore along and around Park Street. Bristol City Museum and Art Gallery offer exhibitions ranging from photography to fine art. Admission is free so you can browse the exhibitions to your heart’s content. Art enthusiasts can also enjoy Banksy’s ‘Well Hung Lover’ located at the bottom of Park street. For those of you who are captivated by Banksy’s work, why stop there? Start here and take a walking tour around the city exploring Easton and Stokes Croft where you can catch a glimpse of many more Banksy pieces.
David Naylor
Cotham and Redland Cotham is the perfect spot for grabbing an afternoon coffee and people watching. The thriving café culture means that there is something for everyone. From vegan cuisine and spicy curries to freshly-baked artisan breads and cupcakes, the Cotham café strip caters to everyone. After you’ve had your fill of tasty treats, make your way over to The Little Black Box on Chandos Road. This boutique theatre has an intimate 40-person capacity and often hosts brilliant productions put on by Bristol students.
Typical Gloucester Road grafitti Flickr: S Tu
30.09.2013
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A Balkan Bonanza : Discovering Albania Albania may not be on everyone’s to-do list for Europe, conjuring connotations more of post-communism and gangster-run human trafficking rings than of an idyllic travelling destination. I certainly imagined as much on the flight over, travelling in a plane so old it made flying Ryanair seem like a first-class experience.
occupied by the Roman, Byzantine, and Ottoman empires, the town is steeped in historic architecture. The Ottoman period was notable for its remarkable religious liberalism, with Orthodox Christian heritage
enjoy a local beer and watch the sun set. Albania may be an under-developed country scarred by its totalitarian and isolationist past, yet you get the sense things are changing, and fast. Tirana’s swanky new airport and the decision to name Berat a UNESCO Heritage Site are finally starting to bring in the
‘you’re soon brought back to reality when an escaped horse gallops across the road’ tourists. James Crosby
Expecting the country’s capital, Tirana, to be similar to other postSoviet cities with a skyline dominated by grim high-rise flats, it came as a surprise to see so much colour, with buildings splattered with every shade of the rainbow in strange geometric patterns. Tirana’s facelift can be attributed to the city’s former mayor Edi Rama. The artist and winner of the 2004 World Mayor Award has managed to transform Tirana’s grey concrete facades into something more cheerful. The city seems to be on cusp of leaving its communist past behind and has become a place where old and new Albania meet. In fact, the city felt surprisingly Western, with lively nightlife, numerous green spaces and plenty of locals enjoying a coffee in one of the many cafés. Of course you’re soon brought back to reality when an escaped horse gallops across the road in front of you.
of the locals and it’s certainly a unique Albanian experience. Albanians are extremely friendly and their language serves as the perfect icebreaker – the word car genuinely does mean penis!
It’s safe to say public transport in Albania leaves a lot to be desired, and you can’t help thinking electing an artist as Mayor hasn’t helped the city’s infrastructure. Lacking a central bus station, the quickest and cheapest way of leaving the city is by minibus, or furgon. You might be able to see the road through the floor, but it’s a great way to meet some
It’s only when you get out of the city that you realise how beautiful Albania really is. Cities give way to rolling countryside and mountainous valleys. Berat, one of Albania’s last remaining traditional Ottoman villages and a UNESCO World Heritage Site, is a picturesque beauty well worth exploring. Having previously been
being conserved within a Muslim empire. This tolerance is evident in the architectural heritage of the town, as illustrated by the coexistence of Byzantine churches and Ottoman mosques. A steep climb leads to a 13th century fortress providing panoramic views of the rambling buildings below and the perfect spot to
Yes, there will be times when you will wonder if you really are only a hundred miles from Italy, but you can certainly see that in twenty years Albania will be a very different place. The country boasts a stunning coastline, beautiful scenery, and a history to equal any in Europe. With so much to take advantage of Albania’s popularity can only soar. Visiting now is the perfect opportunity to get off the tourist track, and one that won’t be around for much longer.
James Crosby
Ben Clarke
Ordering tapas in Barcelona can be a daunting task if all you have is a GCSE in Spanish. However, even if you resort to just pointing at things that look good and saying eso, translated as ‘that’, the experience will be worth it. Tapas are usually enjoyed with a glass of wine or the local Estrella beer, and can be enjoyed both as a meal and as a snack.
Located just off the famous Catalan street of La Rambla, La Mercat de Boqueria is a bustling food market brimming with fresh meat, fish and vegetables. There are a number of tapas bars hidden towards the back of the complex which use the fresh produce from the market in their dishes. As a result, you can enjoy some of the best-tasting food in Barcelona at an extremely reasonable price. Most restaurants on or near La Rambla target the large number of tourists in the area, normally leading to far higher prices and a lower quality of food. Many of the guide books will tell you to avoid it in favour of areas such as El Raval and the Barri Gòtic. And yet, even though it’s so close to La Rambla, the market seems more genuine than other eateries nearby. Despite the high numbers of tourists flocking
through, the market is still primarily for the local people.
Iberico Ham.Flickr; Habier Lopez
A Nommage to Catalonia There is a myriad of choices awaiting you in the markets, including a number of delicious fish and seafood dishes. If you have the money, splash out on the razor clams or the sea bass. The mixed vegetable platter, containing mushrooms and aubergines, is also particularly good. However, you can’t leave Barcelona without sampling Iberico ham, one of the region’s most recognised foods. Try the ham with a Barcelona staple, bread rubbed with tomato and olive oil, to really make the most of the rich flavour. The tapas bars in the market are all squeezed tightly together and you’re surrounded by the
hustle and bustle of other customers roaming from bar to bar. So, if you’re looking for a place to have a quiet meal away from the crowds, this might not be the best choice for you. Don’t let that put you off though! The fresh food is fantastic and this buzzing and vibrant atmosphere only adds to the experience.
Ben Clarke
Editor: Deputy: Online Olivia Lace-Evans Andrea Valentino Emilia Morano-Williams travel@ deputytravel@ travelonline@ epigram.org.uk epigram.org.uk epigram.org.uk
@e2Travel
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Living
Tea-total in wine country One of the greatest benefits of having a year abroad is that, for one year, we briefly leave behind the ‘Bristol bubble’ and get to dip our toes into the paddling pool of real life. Of course, there are many that choose to study. However, the majority of British students studying in France opt for life at a desk with a cup of strong coffee in one hand and an AZERTY keyboard to tackle with the other. Like most Bristol students, I had done various bits of work experience where I sat at a desk pretending not to be on Facebook, so I felt I had a fairly good grasp of the way things work in the corporate world. However, on my first day in my marketing office in Bordeaux, I learnt very quickly that things are somewhat different here. The first earth-shattering, fear-inducing panic attack came when I discovered that my office, shockingly, didn’t have a kettle. Apparently on the odd occasion that they make tea, also sacrilegiously plumping for fruit tea over black tea, the microwave is their method of choice.
Travel
The tea debacle was made even worse by the fact that the French word for kettle, brouillard, is possibly the hardest word for an English person to pronounce. Therefore, as I resigned myself to the fact that the French prefer coffee to tea, I decided to embrace my surroundings, or as the cliché goes, ‘broaden my horizons’ and make the transition. You may think that I am
Style
While travelling through Sicily over the summer, I stopped in a beachside café near the southern tip of the island and gesticulated at what I assumed was a lemon-flavoured Slush Puppie. In fact, the snack I had actually asked for was the culinary love child of Sicily’s best sorbet and the most sophisticated iced drink to date. It is known simply as granita. As a result of this fortuitous encounter, I have been left with no choice but to completely rethink my loyalty to ice cream. Granita trounces ice cream based on refreshment alone. Whether you prefer it in its semi-frozen form or as a satisfyingly cold drink, 10 minutes later one thing’s for certain: you have a whole heap of thirst quenching Sicilian goodness. The sizzling Mediterranean sun is powerless in the face of such refreshment. By comparison, a disappointingly small serving of ice cream will leave you with a damn sight more double cream than you had intended to consume. After all, cream is not an ingredient famed for its refreshing qualities. Furthermore, the flavour of this Sicilian iced treat is undeniably superior to that of its creamier counterpart. When they say lemon granita, they’re not kidding. Be prepared for the taste of a whole Sicilian lemon squeezed into a cup. The mandarin and lychee flavours are equally intense, so if you can’t handle the flavours perhaps you shouldn’t have ventured so far from home in the first place. However, don’t go thinking that granita is limited to citrus flavours. I sampled a chocolate granita that was so rich, it was as if chocolate had held a grudge against my previous preference for fruity flavours and had finally come to settle the score. Needless to say, chocolate made its case in expert fashion. If essential refreshment and mind-blowing flavour weren’t enough to convert even the most ardent ice cream fans, granita’s versatility means that it blends with alcohol like a marriage made in heaven. I have your attention now, don’t I? If you’ve decided to sample a lemon granita, simply pour some limoncello over and you are set for the evening. Prefer a touch of mandarin? All you need is a splash of Campari or, if you’re an impoverished student, vodka to top it all off. Unfortunately, any attempts to marry ice cream with alcohol have resulted in, what I would consider, the greatest gastronomic abomination of our time. Rum and raisin, I’m talking to you.
Bordeaux’s Grand Theatre Flickr: Aurdesco
What’s On
What an ice surprise
over-dramatising a mere swap from tea to coffee, but my next shock came in a more physical manner; their coffee was strong enough to give me the shakes. Leaving the kitchen behind, I was there to work rather than to drink hot drinks after all, I was soon showed to my desk and introduced to my colleagues. Cue awkward cheek kissing. The interesting thing about working in your second language is that the simplest task becomes a nightmare. Sending a quick email to your boss sends shivers down your spine: what if it is littered with mistakes? Using Microsoft Word leads you to believe that your computer is trying to trick you as ‘ctrl + B’ no longer turns your words bold. Why is it trying to search your document instead? However, all this pales into insignificance the first time you hear the dulcet tones of a ringing phone. You look around to discover that you are the only one in the room. You brace yourself as you pick up the phone: ‘Bonjour...pardon?’
For me, the battle is over. Gone are the days of favouring the sweet, yet non-descript, servings of ice cream. It has been replaced by my discovery of Sicily’s greatest gift: Granita. The day may come when ice cream regains its place as my favourite ice treat, but it is not this day.
Anna McOmish
! e r e h e r e Wish you w
Despite the many difficulties I’ve faced during my first two months in a French office – being asked to translate ‘Sidebar Widget’ is fairly high on the list – I have also learnt a huge amount. My favourite aspect of the office has to be lunchtime where we sit down together to share bread and cheese in the middle of the table. Even though I may still occasionally hide my Facebook in the bottom corner of my screen, or pretend to work when I’m actually writing an article for Epigram, I have certainly gained a fresh outlook on office life. I’m looking forward to diving in permanently sometime in the future.
Jenny Burton
Dear e2, ánuco In the Hu eru the region of P ke do people ma iverse with the d products foods and vailable naturally a ating the to them. E o fruit, aguaymant , or one sugar cane umerous of Peru’s n nas at ana types of b f the road the side o as it gets. is as fresh ie Moss Love, Kat
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Editor: Maddy Streets style@ epigram.org.uk
@e2Style
Travel
insulating staples as ‘on trend’ only detracts from their permanent place in the male wardrobe. The Bristol student inevitably leaps straight back into his down-filled parka and Air Max as soon as the temperature starts to drop, but why not consider a timeless wool coat from time to time? Though I’m often partial to a more tailored look,
overcoats don’t have to mean getting your granddad style on. Instead, channel Hedi Slimane’s recent menswear collections at Saint Laurent and pair either fitted or
full cut coats with skinny jeans, Chelsea boots and a dishevelled disposition. Clichéd as it is, ‘Rock Chic’ never fails to make a resurgence and it’s probably here to stay for at least another few years. Scouring Bristol’s many vintage shops is definitely the key to finding premium outerwear pieces at a fraction of the price you would pay new, and it’s always worth remembering that, whilst that Aspen-circa-1985, wild printed ski jacket may look a little more exciting than the duffel coat hanging next to it, ironically, it has probably become a far more predictable and hackneyed clothing choice. Oh, and just because something looks good on a young Will Smith, it doesn’t mean it does on you, but don’t worry, I won’t knock you for trying.
Benji Walters Saint Lauren A/W13
Saint Lauren A/W13
Saint Lauren A/W13
Style
for the classics, and what frigid weather dressing lacks in insanity and wildly patterned short sleeves – I’m looking at you Bart Simpson print shirt on ASOS Marketplace – it more than makes up for in something a little harder to achieve; elegance. Every year the trendcentric menswear media will tell us that dramatic outerwear is on the come up, and whilst it may be true that we will be seeing a lot of ‘Boardwalk Empire’/the horror that was Baz Luhrmann’s ‘The Great Gatsby’ inspired coats in hearty fabrics this winter, defining such
Ebay
While most mourn the passing of warmer weather and bemoan the darkening days of autumn and winter, I, for one, will be pleased to leave the difficulties of summer dressing behind. My already eclectic – read try-my-handat-everything-with-mixed-success – style became even more curious this summer as I was forced to relinquish my staple skinny black jeans for fear of roasting to death. Listening to too much hip-hop and days wasted watching ‘Fresh Prince’ reruns meant that wildly patterned caps, tiny round sunglasses, bandanas and orange shorts were some of my (achingly) bourgeois attempts to keep cool in the heat whilst I slaved away at, well, nothing really. I may have looked a little odd, but so what? It’s summer! Thoughts of festival dressing, lazy days and carnival madness bubble furiously away in the mind of any hedonistic student, and I’m no exception. However, I’m also a sucker Saint Lauren A/W13
What’s On
Style writer Benji Walters gives an insight in how to wrap up warm without compromising how you look this autumn Flickr: Laser Burners
Living
Menswear: all about the coat
Living
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WHAT’S ON?
Stuck for things to do now Freshers’ week is over? Want to try something new, or simply want to see what’s actually going on in Bristol outside of the university bubble? Epigram’s ‘What’s on’ section has been relaunched this year to be bigger and better than ever before, promising to be your go-to guide to all that’s occurring in this city.
Style
.1 September, 6 th 0 3 y a d n o When? M otham Hill C l, il H e Th ? re Whe b Skydiving Clu e th h it w e iv t Learn to skyd g yourself ou in w ro th e b and you could w it! To get o n k u o y re fo of planes be t taking part, u o b a n o ti a more inform at this e committee th h it w p u t mee nt. welcome eve
Interested in what’s happening in Bristol? Fancy editing the What’s On section? Get in touch with us at
Get volunteering!
getinvolved@ epigram.org.
What’s On
Try something new!
Flickr: Thomas Hawk
ive! d y k s o t n r a e L 5pm
UOB Skydiving Club
Travel
Can’t read-a my poker face....
uk Become a croupier When? Weds 2nd October, 7.30-9.30pm Where? The Richmond (next to UBU) Try your hand at being on the other side of the roulette wheel. What’s more, it’s all for a good cause! Run by RAG, you’ll learn all the skills you’ll need to impress your flatmates, and be raising money for local charities too.
8pm When? Tuesday 1st October, 5.30’ Union Where? Throughout the Students
bit more If you fancy doing something a typical the n meaningful with your days tha und aro ng daytime student routine - loungi king cups of tea watching daytime TV whilst drin eering? - why not try your hand at volunt rities and cha of Representatives from dozens t for you to have local organisations will be presen give something a chat and find out how you can back to the community.
When? Sunday 6th October, 8pm Where? The Hill, Cotham Hill
Have a laugh!
for the first Join Bristol Improv and some of the city’s finest stand-up comics a laugh, but for come to place of many comedy nights of this year. It’s a great also to find out more about the society.
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Photograph by
Paul Blakemor
Ketih Pattiso
n
e http://www. paulblakemor
e.co.uk
DON’T MISS!
Evita
Submergence
When? Mon 7 Oct - Sat 12 Oct
ep - Sat 5 Oct S 0 3 n o M ? n Whe ippodrome Where? The H fe icated to the li d e d w o h s A What? on. In Bristol s k c Ja l e a h ic and work of M only! for one week
6th October: The Quireboys 7th October: Laura Mvula
What? Submergence is a largescale art installation, featuring
dictator Juan Peron, from young od. beginnings to her eventual saintho
2nd October: Mac Miller 4th October: Passenger (SOLD OUT)
Where? Temple Quay
the Lloyd Webber musical documents ntinian life of Eva Peron, wife of the Arge
! N I W
Gigs at the O2 Academy this fortnight
When? until Sat 12 Oct
Where? The Hippodrome drew What? This critically-acclaimed An
8064 pieces of light suspended from the ceiling. Visitors can visit for free and walk through, experiencing different feelings of space and movement. cGhie Luka M
Thriller
Jimmy Carr
When? Saturday 5th October
Foxes
Where? Colston Hall What? Comic Jimmy Carr, host of 8
Out Of 10 Cats, comes to Bristol for Epigram is giving one lucky reader an evening of standup. Only a few the chance to win a pair of tickets, 9th October: Miles Kane complete with guestlist entry, to see tickets remain - log onto the 11th October: We Start Partys one of the UK’s freshest talents, Foxes. Colston Hall website for more To be in with a chance of winning, 12th October: Public Image Ltd (PiL) simply email: details deputy@epigram.org.uk saying why you love Epigram, For more info Bristol’s favourite media product. about music and Make sure you like our Facebook page to hear more from Epigram and to be in the running for many more great giveaways throughout the year.
Flickr: room100
r: E ric B Flic k
gigs going on in Bristol this fortnight, have a look in the Music section.
égi n
8th October: Children of Bodom
@e2Style
For the majority of us, ‘Freshers’ means fast food, fast living, and fast skincare. Picture the scene: you’re having a great time meeting new people, making some friends for life and some ‘friends’ that you wish you’d left in the club (we won’t tell). But while you’re having the time of your life, inevitably your skin is probably having a massive fall out with all the vodka, jäger bombs, (insert alcoholic beverage of choice here), lack of sleep and, let’s face it, ‘Jason Donnervan’s’…or was that just me? So from a girl who doesn’t think that her skin should reflect her night out, here are some helpful tips created to keep you looking and feeling your absolute best during Fresher season.
Step 1
This is an obvious one but effective: drink LOTS of water! It is important that you do not let your skin as well as your brain get dehydrated. If you think that £2.20 is pretty reasonable for a Jäger bomb now, you won’t when you realise how notoriously bad alcohol is for your skin. Believe me, your pores will pay the price.
Step 2
Have a good cleanser. Hot cloth cleansers are most effective because they gently exfoliate the skin as they remove every trace of makeup, leaving it glowing and ready for the day. Not convinced? A re-usable muslin cloth is a lot cheaper and less wasteful than wipes or cotton pads in the long run because all you have to do is wash it after every 2-3 uses. I recommend Liz Earl Cleanse & Polish which is available in a starter pack from Amazon and John Lewis.
Dewy Skin: Dab concealer under your eyes and onto blemishes and spots. You can brush on a foundation very lightly beforehand but the key is not to over apply as you still want a natural glow and foundations can clog pores, leading to troubled skin.
Natural pink toned lips: Go for a soft lipstick that compliments your natural lip colour or enhance it with a gloss/balm/Vaseline.
Flickr: P Vallerius
Travel
Fight less-than-fresh skin this freshers’ fortnight Flickr: Andy S. Foster
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Step 3
Choose a dependable moisturiser with SPF for your skin type, such as Clinique Superdefense SPF 25 Moisturiser. Moisturiser is a soothing agent that will soften your skin, protect against harmful UV rays that cause aging, and reduce dead skin cells. Translation: it brightens up your complexion and stops you looking so tired!
Awake eyes: Use a flesh coloured eyeliner that is slightly lighter than your normal skin tone for your waterline. This will widen your eyes so that they look more awake. Tip: Eyelash curlers are a great way to open up your eyes without mascara.
Glowing cheeks: Highlighter applied on the brow and cheek bones before blusher is a great way to lift your complexion and contour.
What’s On
Fresh-faced: mind over make-up Blusher, bronzer, toner, tanner, lipgloss, lipstick, concealer, foundation, eye-shadow, liner- the make-up dictionary seems endless, yet still something that women are expected to have a full knowledge of. Throughout our lives, make-up plays a prominent role; at the age of fourteen we want to push the parental boundaries by slapping as much as possible on our premature faces. By eighteen, ‘less is more’ and a scrap of barely visible mascara is the desired look. Then comes thirty, our long-anticipated and much hyped-up, prime years. The lipstick gets brighter and the choices bolder before we embrace the onset of anti-wrinkle creams and gels, hoping they will blanket-wrap our poor, lined faces. Makes life sound pretty superficial, agreed? According to The Economist, the beauty industry (including hair, makeup, fragrances and cosmetic surgery) makes a staggering 101 billion pounds a year. A possibly less reliable online source also claims that on average, girls spend two years of their lives
looking in the mirror, while boys only spend 6 months. The recent Head&Shoulders advert says ‘Girls, so many beauty products? Us boys like to keep it simple.’ Why is the attitude so different? Sitting behind two women on the bus in the early commuting hours, I overheard one comment on how wonderful it was that she has squeezed in an extra hour’s sleep this morning, but how this had drastically shortened her allotted ‘getting ready time’. She was therefore apologising for her lack of make-up. How often does a man wake up in the morning and decide that his natural face isn’t quite good enough for the world? How often does he feel the need to apologise for not covering it with cosmetics? Practically never, I imagine. Unfair, right? I believe that one of the reasons that women’s obsession with appearance, beauty and make-up is at an all time high is due to the bombardment of advertising campaigns. Hawaiian Tropic’s ‘you always want to look your
best, you never know who might be watching,’ or Avon’s ‘look fabulous at every hour’ are just two of thousands of examples of the pressure forced onto the average woman to maximise her attractiveness.
Conforming is expected, aiming higher is normal
a mask, but don’t fall into the trap of believing more is more, no matter how ‘worthy’ you are of L’Oreal’s numerous products. One solution is channeling Eleanor Roosevelt’s mantra of ‘you wouldn’t worry so much about what others thought of you if you realised how seldom they do!’ Preach it, Ellie. Celebrating our beauty by using products can be an expression of who we are, as long as it’s not a definition of who we are. Wear it because you want to, not because you
Abby Wynn We are inundated with images of the ‘perfected’ woman; striving for a cure to our faces natural ageing process is encouraged. There is something twisted here; the invisible standard that the media sets for beauty is out of reach for most of us and the idea of growing old gracefully – lines, grey hair and all – has become almost an act of bravery when all around are striving to look younger and younger. Make up can be an enhancer or
Flickr: Flumpster
Style
Emma-Jane Somper
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Autumn wishlist
DIY project: t-shirt to tote Brought to you this week by You will need: 1. A t-shirt 2. Thread
Oyinda Bamgbose
Flickr: Rune T
Freshers’ Fortnight is full of freebies, including free t-shirts. Whether it’s a promotional one you were handed at Freshers’ Fair or the leftovers from a bar crawl you can barely remember, chances are you’ll have a piece of clothing that you can’t see yourself wearing again. To encourage sustainable fashion, we’ve put together this brief tutorial to show you how you can turn your spare t-shirt into a handy tote bag, perfect for carrying shopping, your gym stuff or even your laundry.
3. A needle
As students, money for shopping is always a little tight – let’s be honest, the first priority for most of us is alcohol. Therefore it’s no surprise that when we do splurge a little on clothes, we’re looking at the lower end of products. But while splashing unnecessary money on things you’re never going to use is a waste of your precious vodka fund, the few pieces you’re going to wear nearly every day this autumn – and every year after that – are worth an investment.
4. Scissors 5. Pins
Step One Urban Outfitters £125 (+15% S.D.)
Cut off the sleeves. These will be the handles of your bag so feel free to widen the arm-hole if you like. Hemming is optional!
Dorothy Perkins £59 (+20% S.D.)
Oyinda Bamgbose
Part of dressing for the colder months means having a coat that you’re happy to wear most days of the week. After all, what’s the point in looking super stylish but then covering that up with an old thing you’ve never really liked? I personally love this one from Urban Outfitters (but Dorothy Perkins do a similar style for nearly half the price.
Step Two Cut a deeper neckline. This will become the top of the bag so try to make the dip as low as the newly-cut armholes, for even handles. Again, hem if you prefer. Oyinda Bamgbose
Step Three Pin together the bottom lengths of the t-shirt and sew together. Depending on how tall you want your bag, you could cut some of the bottom off before stitching.
ASOS £55 (+10% S.D.)
Cambridge Satchel Company £120 (+S.D.)
The next staple for any student is a bag that you can take to lectures or the library which will fit your laptop, pad of paper, pen etc. With such an extensive list, a lot of people revert back to the rucksacks of our school days and there are some lovely ones available which are a bit more grown-up. Likewise, satchels’ large but unbulky shape makes them perfect for this purpose. Bonus: the Cambridge Satchel Company is giving 10% off selected items, including the one pictured above, for university students!
Oyinda Bamgbose
There you have it, a tote bag made from your unwanted t-shirt. Of course now is where you can be as creative as you’d like because it’s time to decorate! Pins, badges, appliqué, paint, pens – feel free to go as wild or restrained as you like, after all it’s your bag.
For more from us, use any of the mediums listed below: www.facebook.com/UniGoesTopless Go Topless @UniGoesTopless #10thingstodowithyourtshirt http://www.youtube.com/user/unigoestopless
Sustainable shopping doesn’t have to mean wearing clothes that are years and years old, unfashionable or ill-fitting. By passing on clothes you no longer wear to others or by reinventing them like the project shows above, you can give new life to clothes and help preserve the environment, as well as adding a new piece to your wardrobe for free! It’s win-win. Now go out and use your new bag!
Oyinda Bamgbose
Javari £80
Alice Temperley £165
Lastly, you’ll want a pair of solid winter boots, whether you go leather or suede, heeled or flat, ankle or knee-high, I’d recommend a flat boot in leather – less care required than suede and you know your feet will be comfortable all day long. Although these Alice Temperley boots are rather appealing… These prices are admittedly not so studentfriendly but the key here is buying quality now so that you can focus your funds on more fun things from now on. Then again, if you want to wait for the sales and stock up on value alcohol right now, I won’t try to stop you!
Maddy Streets