Epigram #250

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Bristol University’s Independent Student Newspaper

Monday 30th April 2012

Hoax email causes halls bomb scare “

Two small bombs are hidden in Wills and Durdham Halls. Take this warning very, very seriously.

Jenny Awford Deputy News Editor A bomb threat on Monday 23rd April saw hundreds of students evacuated from both Wills and Durdham Halls in Stoke Bishop. The University received an anonymous warning in an email that was later treated a hoax. The Metropolitan Police is currently conducting an on-going investigation to trace the source of the threat. The Community Beat Manager for the University of Bristol, Nick

Boyce, revealed the details of the anonymous email sent to the University’s admissions office at 1.30pm: ‘Two small bombs are hidden in Wills and Durdham Halls. They will explode later today. Take this warning very very seriously.’ The decision to evacuate the two halls of residence was taken by the University after the Senior Management team met with representatives from Avon and Somerset Police and the University Security Services. The fire alarms

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were activated at 2.45pm and evacuated students were sent to Hiatt Baker canteen. Boyce commented that, ‘The area surrounding the two halls was cordoned off whilst 35 officers and staff from Avon and Somerset Police and the University Security team searched and patrolled the area. ‘We were extremely fortunate that there were two sniffer dogs trained specifically to detect explosives in the Bristol area.’ This was because of Prime Minister David Cameron’s visit to the City on the same day. Wills Hall resident, Jenny Salter, commented saying, ‘Information was limited until we arrived at Hiatt Baker and word started to spread round that there was a bomb scare. Everyone thought it was a bit of a joke until we saw it on Facebook and Burst Radio.’ In an emergency email sent out at 3.30pm, Deputy Registrar for Education and Students, Lynn Robinson, confirmed that the University had been contacted to say that an ‘explosive device had been placed in both of the halls’. This message was sent to encourage students to report any suspicious behaviour and prevent them from returning to the two halls of residence. The residents at Durdham Hall were permitted to return to their rooms at 4.45pm after the police and security services had completed their search of the communal

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areas. Boyce told Epigram that ‘students were asked to thoroughly search their own rooms and report anything suspicious to the security guards stationed at Durdham.’ The conference area at Wills Hall was searched thoroughly by the security team as an exam for the Open University was being held that afternoon. The accommodation corridors and communal areas in Wills were checked and cleared by 6.30pm when all the students were permitted to return. The University of Bristol Director of Communications and Marketing,

David Alder, sent a message to all students at 7.30pm saying, ‘Both halls have now been searched, found to be clear and student residents in both have been allowed to return.’ Boyce commented that, ‘Overall, the traumatic incident was very well managed and the students were very co-operative throughout’. Bristol University was not alone in receiving bomb threats as Leicester, Exeter, Sussex and Durham universities were also contacted with similar warning messages on Monday. The Durham University student newspaper

Palatinate reported that University College and the Students’ Union buildings were both evacuated and searched. The University of Kent was targeted the next day and two residential buildings were evacuated as a precaution. These incidents are now also being treated as a hoax. Boyce commented that, ‘As the investigation progressed it became apparent that this was a coordinated operation with the same email being sent through a remailer to several different Universities’. This makes the source of the original email very difficult to trace.

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Founding editor James Landale remembers Epigram’s early years

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Have you won an iPad?

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Making it in the media

Battle of


Epigram

30.04.2012

News

Editor: Alice Young

Deputy Editor: Jenny Awford

Deputy Editor: Abigail Van-West

news@epigram.org.uk

jawford@epigram.org.uk

avanwest@epigram.org.uk

@epigramnews

Blind twins cycle to raise over £16k

Inside Epigram Features 10 Class of ‘89 Epigram covered its first Union elections in 1989 - but where are the candidates now?

Comment 13 To 250 and beyond Comment editor Patrick Baker ponders on Epigram’s past, present and future

Letters and Editorial 16 Hold the front page After trawling through the archives, we look at the best and worst of student media

Anna Godfrey News Reporter Twin brothers Michael and Dan Smith, 20, who recently lost their eyesight to a rare genetic condition, cycled 570km from London to Amsterdam to raise £16,000 for the charity, ‘Blind in Business’. The team managed to raise an astounding £16,000. Initially setting the target at £3,000, the team was overwhelmed at the financial generosity and wide support the public has given them. The money raised will go towards the ‘Blind in Business’ charity, which helps blind and partially sighted people into work through their training and employment services. The twin brothers, Michael

and Dan were riding tandem bikes for the cycle, which lasted 38 hours, spread over four days. Though the distance of the mammoth cycle was known, the gruelling and abnormal weather conditions that faced the cyclists throughout the journey took them by surprise. At times, the temperature plunged below freezing. Dan, who is studying Aeronautical Engineering at the University of Bristol, said, ‘It was ridiculously hard. The weather conditions were atrocious. No amount of training could have prepared us for the wind chill and rain on the continent. At one stage I had eight layers of clothes on and was still shivering.’ We cycled solidly for 13 hours on two of the days and were burning so many calories

that we couldn’t eat enough to replenish our energy levels. I was sick for three hours one night, but somehow managed to complete the final seven hours and finally arrive in Amsterdam.’ Dan and Michael suffer from the extremely rare condition: Leber’s Optic Neuropathy, for which there is no known cure. Leber’s Optic Neuropathy is the loss of vision as a result of the death of cells in the optic nerve, causing it to stop relaying vital information from the eyes to the brain. Michael lost his sight in a matter of weeks while in his first year at Bart’s and the London School of Medicine in 2009. Because the pair are identical twins, Dan was told he had a 60 to 70 per cent chance of also going blind – a likelihood he describes as a ‘dark cloud’ that

hung over him during his first two years at the University of Bristol. He had been preparing for his second year exams last Easter when he began to struggle to see through his left eye. Within two weeks his near perfect vision started to rapidly deteriorate. The twins now have just seven per cent of their sight left and can see shadows in their peripheral vision. Determined to think positively, the brothers have continued to study. Michael is a Geography undergraduate at King’s College London and wants to become a disability lawyer, while Dan aims to become an investment banker. You can still sponsor Michael and Dan by going to the JustGiving website: www.justgiving.com/ sevenmenfivebikes

Cameron gives backing to Bristol mayor Emily Gotta Senior News Reporter

Music 25 Give us a Kriss We interview former Epigram music editor and New Musical Express boss, Krissi Murison

Science 31 Evolution since Epigram How developments in science and technology have shaped the world since our first issue

Deputy Deputy Editors Editors Jon Bauckham Jon Bauckham jon@epigram.org.uk jon@epigram.org.uk Hannah Stubbs hannah@epigram.org.uk Hannah Stubbs

Sport 33 England’s coaching crisis Soccernomics consultant and 1994-95 editor, Ben Lyttleton, returns for a guest column

‘A Mayor for Bristol’, the volunteer-run campaign in support of a directly elected mayor, has recently devoted a section of their website to addressing the issue of the missing pamphlets, even though the organisation was not involved in their publication or delivery.

Stephen Perry, who is part of the communications team for the ‘Mayor for Bristol’ campaign, was disappointed by the City Council’s failure to get a pamphlet to every household in Bristol. ‘At this stage it’s very late, but every household in Bristol needs

e2 Editor hannah@epigram.org.uk Matthew McCrory e2 Editor e2@epigram.org.uk Matthew McCrory News Editor e2@epigram.org.uk Alice Young news@epigram.org.uk News Editor Alice YoungNews Editors Deputy news@epigram.org.uk Abigail Van-West

Deputy Sport Editor Features Editor Comment Editor Deputy Music Editor Science Editor Paddy Von Behr Pippa Shawley Tristan Martin Patrick Baker Nick Cork pvonbehr@epigram.org.uk deputymusic@epigram.org.uk features@epigram.org.uk

comment@epigram.org.uk

Deputy Features EditorEditor Letters Andrew White Emma Corfield deputyfeatures@epigram.org.uk

Features Editor Abigail Van-West Tristan Martin avanwest@epigram.org.uk

features@epigram.org.uk

News Online Editor Deputy Features Editor Amina Makele Andrew White newsonline@epigram.org.uk

science@epigram.org.uk

Sport Online Editor Music Online Editor Deputy Science Editor Tom Mordey David Biddle Emma Sackville tmordey@epigram.org.uk musiconline@epigram.org.uk

letters@epigram.org.uk

music@epigram.org.uk

Culture EditorDeputy

Head Sub Editor

Photography Editor Deputy Science Editor Editor Emma Corfield Marek Allen Emma Sackville photography@epigram.org.uk deputyscience@epigram.org.uk Sub Editors

Music Pippa Shawley deputymusic@epigram.org.uk

culture@epigram.org.uk

Harriet Layhe,

Illustrator Deputy Culture Editor FIlm & TV Editor Science Online Editor Kate Moreton, Rosemary Sophie Sladen Edith Penty Geraets Hannah Mae Collins Will Ellis scienceonline@epigram.org.uk deputyculture@epigram.org.uk Illustrator filmandtv@epigram.org.uk Web Designer Sophie Sladen Maciej Kumorek Editor Music Editor Deputy Film & TVSport Editor David Stone Nathan Comer Web Designer Anthony Adeane deputysport@epigram.org.uk music@epigram.org.uk Rob Mackenzie

deputyfeatures@epigram.org.uk

deputyfilmandtv@epigram.org.uk

www.epigram.org.uk For the latest news, features and reviews

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Puzzles Editor Comment Editor Culture Editor Film & TV Editor Sport Editor Lily Buckmaster Will Ellis Patrick Baker Calum Sherwood Tom Burrows filmandtv@epigram.org.uk comment@epigram.org.uk culture@epigram.org.uk sport@epigram.org.uk Head Sub Editor Emma Corfield Deputy Film & TV Editor Deputy Comment Editor Deputy Culture Editor Deputy Sport Editor Anthony Adeane Hugh Davies Zoe Hutton David Stone Sub Editors deputyfilmandtv@epigram.org.uk deputycomment@epigram.org.uk deputyculture@epigram.org.uk deputysport@epigram.org.uk Ross Benson Katie Bitten Science Editor Letters EditorMusic Editor Puzzles Editor Rachel Hosie Nick Cork Emma Corfield Nathan Comer Lily Buckmaster Rosemary Wagg science@epigram.org.uk letters@epigram.org.uk

avanwest@epigram.org.uk Zoe Hutton

Deputy News Editors JennyAwford Awford Jenny jawford@epigram.org.uk jawford@epigram.org.uk

a pamphlet to be informed about election issues’, Perry said. The effects of the missing pamphlets on the election have yet to be determined, but, according to The Guardian, even if Bristol does vote ‘Yes’, the city can expect a 15-20% turnout at best.

Online

Editorial team Editor Editor Tom Flynn Flynn Tom editor@epigram.org.uk

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University Hospitals Birmingham

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Prime Minister David Cameron, visited Bristol on Monday 23rd April to urge residents to vote‘Yes’ in the upcoming referendum. On 3rd May Bristol will be one of ten English cities voting to decide on a directly elected mayor. Recently, fears that Bristolians have not received enough information about the vote have risen. The ‘No’ campaign has enjoyed a bolt of support from George Clark, the minister in charge of the referendum, who called the handling of the Bristol mayor election ‘a shambles.’ Clark has accused the City Council, who sent out informative leaflets across Bristol at the beginning of the month, of not getting the leaflets to all residents, despite the £400,000 pamphlet cost.

twitter.com/epigrampaper issuu.com/epigrampaper Epigram is the independent student newspaper of the University of Bristol. We are supported but not financed by the University of Bristol Students’ Union; however the views expressed are not theirs. The design, text and photographs are copyright of Epigram or its individual contributors and may not be reproduced without permission.

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Advertise with Epigram? To enquire about advertising, please contact Alex Denne - treasurer@epigram.org.uk or Tom Flynn - editor@epigram.org.uk


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Vice-Chancellor endorsed ‘dangerous’ privatised fee scheme to government • Vice-Chancellor sought to discuss ‘FAIR’ scheme with Willetts • Privatised fee scheme could discriminate against women and those wishing to study arts subjects. • Could legally be classed as human trafficking Tom Flynn Editor Correspondence seen by Epigram shows Bristol ViceChancellor and Universities UK President Eric Thomas endorsing a ‘radical’ shake-up of the way that students finance themselves whilst at University. The exchange between Professor Thomas and Universities Minister David Willetts, begins with an email from Professor Thomas inviting Willetts to look again at a proposal known as ‘FAIR’, under which student tuition costs would be privatised. The exchange took place in March and April of last year; a full five months after parliament had passed the bill containing £9,000 tuition fees. The FAIR (Funding with Additional Income-based Repayments) proposal, was

put forward in a paper by Peter Ainsworth, a Cambridge economics graduate and the director of EM Applications, a financial consultancy. The only person involved in the higher education sector referred to by Ainsworth is Derek Pretty, former Registrar at the University of Bristol, who is thanked at the beginning of the paper. The plan calls for banks or other investors to buy a proportion of students’ future earnings in return for paying for their tuition. The fee received by a university in return would reflect private investors’ views on how studying at the institution was likely to affect a graduate’s earning potential. The idea as described by Ainsworth is to create ‘powerful economic incentives’ for universities to offer courses which offer maximum benefit to students. However, treating ‘graduates’ income as the measure of the “success” of

Professor Eric Thomas, Bristol’s Vice-Chancellor

the venture of entering into higher education’, as Ainsworth suggests, and which Thomas appears to support, would create a number of perverse or purely economic incentives for universities that appear problematic. One such problem is identified by Ainsworth himself, who states that the greater likelihood of women taking career breaks would lead to ‘universities seek[ing] to raise the proportion of men in their intake as investors will... prefer pools of predominantly male graduates’. In other words, universities may be incentivised to take on fewer female students. In a section titled ‘subject effects’, Ainsworth admits that,‘It may seem that the FAIR scheme would encourage Universities to focus on teaching only those subjects that result in students achieving high earnings’, and concedes ‘clearly one intent of the scheme is to encourage the expansion of the courses that add value and contraction of those that detract value’. He claims that this will not result in certain subjects disappearing, as universities would need to remain diverse enough for there to be no risk of future economic changes rendering some degrees less valuable in the future. Ainsworth’s analysis earlier in the paper suggests that many arts subjects result, on average, in a reduced income relative to the general population, which would clearly result in a ‘contraction’ in these departments were his plans ever implemented. Thomas’s endorsement

Willetts’ response to Thomas’s email

of Ainsworth is particularly surprising given the frequency with which his paper attacks the current system of students taking on debt in order to study. In one particularly tough critique, Ainsworth compares choosing a university to buying a car; ‘The University choice would be like a situation where one can only buy one car in one’s whole life. The car must be bought blind and a fixed price is paid... for some it will be a Rolls

Editorial - How fair is FAIR? > page 16 Royce, but for others a secondhand Lada.’ Whether or not Thomas agrees with this analysis is unclear. In an additional twist, Thomas’s initial email claims that; ‘There are, I gather, anxieties about wheter the mechanisms proposed would be legal under Human Tarfficking legislation [sic]’, before offering to discuss

how the scheme could be taken forward. Gus Baker, President of Bristol Students’ Union, commented, ‘These proposals are dangerous and stupid. They mischaracterize students’ ambitions as being solely focused on material wealth and not social good. They would create a two tier sector where students not planning to enter the City of London would be seen as less worthy than those hoping to become teachers, charity workers or carers.’ When Epigram asked for a statement, the University told us, ‘The correspondence referred to with regard to FAIR was one of many conversations entered into at the time. This was part of what was a lengthy and detailed public discussion around the funding of student support, during which many ideas and solutions were proposed. The University did not make a specific recommendation for one potential solution over another.’ All correspondence since January 2010 between the

University’s management and the Department of Business, Innovation & Skills, in which Willetts is a minister, is a matter of public record following a Freedom of Information request submitted through the website whatdotheyknow.com. No discussion of any other fee scheme is on record. When we put this to the University and asked to speak to Professor Thomas, he told us, ‘As you can appreciate, universities have on-going discussions and communication with Government and Government Departments on many key issues surrounding Higher Education - and these can be conversations, letters or emails - some of which will still be on record somewhere and some of which won’t. The important thing is that we do have that dialogue. With regard to FAIR specifically, this was just one of many things that were discussed at the time within the sector and certainly if this were to be explored further then there would be many highly important issues, safeguards and details to address.’

Shrien Dewani could be imprisoned in Bristol Lucy Woods Senior News Reporter

been offered a reduced sentence in exchange for testifying against Mr Dewani. Tongo’s version of events has been called into question following the release of CCTV footage that challenges the plausibility of his story. The two men accused of carrying out the alleged hijacking of the taxi have retracted their confessions and now await trail. Mr Dewani denies any involvement in the murder and since his arrest has been suffering from severe post-traumatic

Flickr: Steve_I

Shrien Dewani, accused of arranging the murder of his wife, Anni Dewani, on their honeymoon in South Africa could serve his sentence in Bristol Prison if found guilty. Mr Dewani, 32, a care home owner from Bristol, could face up to 25 years in prison if it can be proved beyond reasonable doubt that he plotted his wife’s murder.

The couple were on their honeymoon in November 2010 when their taxi was hijacked while travelling through the Gugulethu township in Cape Town. Dewani and the taxi driver, Zola Tongo, were ejected from the car. The following day, the body of Mrs Dewani was discovered in the abandoned taxi. The cause of death was a single gunshot to her neck, which entered through her left hand. Tongo admitted to his part in the murder and has been jailed for 18 years, having

stress and depression. He was admitted to the Bristol Royal Infirmary last February after taking an overdose. Since then, Mr Dewani has been sectioned under the 1983 Mental Health Act and admitted to the Fromeside Clinic in Bristol. Due to his current mental state, Mr Dewani has avoided extradition to South Africa. Last August, a Judge ruled Mr Dewani to be fit enough to be extradited and to stand trial, but the decision was reversed by the High Court. However, Ashok Hindocha,

uncle of the deceased Anni Dewani argues that if South African doctors can treat Xolile Mngeni, the suspected hitman who is suffering from a brain tumour, Dewani should also be sent to South Africa for treatment. According to Paul Hoffman, a former acting High Court Judge in South Africa, it is possible Mr Dewani could be tried in the UK. Hoffman claims conditions in South African prisons are ‘atrocious’ due to ‘gross overcrowding, corruption, routine rape of

inmates and intimidation.’ When Mr Dewani finally does stand trial, he faces charges of murder, conspiracy to commit murder, robbery with aggravating circumstances and obstructing the administration of justice. Hoffman fears the trial will become ‘A credibility battle between those who say Mr Dewani was involved and those who say he wasn’t.’ Mr Dewani’s family are adamant he is innocent and is ‘Determined to return to South Africa to clear his name and seek justice for his wife Anni.’


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30.04.2012

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30.04.2012

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Former professor backs ‘gay conversion’ Josephine McConville Head News Reporter A former University of Bristol professor who believes homosexual feelings can be changed or ‘managed’, has been appointed to the panel that chooses the next Archbishop of Canterbury. Glynn Harrison, Emeritus Professor of Psychiatry who has now retired from the University, co-authored the 2011 title Unwanted Same-sex Attraction: Issues of Pastoral and Counselling, published by the Christian Medical Fellowship. It argues that ‘people with unwanted SSA [same-sex attraction] who seek to live in conformity with their beliefs should be free to receive appropriate and responsible practical care and counsel. ‘Most may choose counselling and pastoral support to maintain, within a Christian framework, the disciplines of chastity. Others may wish to explore the possibility of achieving some degree of change in the strength or direction of unwanted sexual interests.’ Gus Baker, UBU president, told Epigram, ‘Falsely claiming

that homosexuality can be somehow “cured” is a grotesque insult to the hundreds of LGBT students we have at the University of Bristol. Glynn Harrison is an embarrassment to our University and should seek therapy to cure himself of his outdated bigotry.’ Calum Sherwood, LGBT part-time officer, branded Harrison’s association with the university ‘utterly disgraceful.’ ‘I do not think the university is living up to

Glynn Harrison is an embarrassment to our University and should seek therapy to cure himself of his outdated bigotry

its commitment to LGBT students or broader tolerance by providing a platform for people like Glynn Harrison to spread bigotry and hate speech, while not employing a single academic with a specialism in Queer Theory. ‘I expect the university to either revoke his title or issue a statement condemning

Glynn Harrison’s views’, he said. A statement released by the Church of England Press Office asserts, ‘Professor Harrison does not believe in concepts of ‘gay cure’ or ‘gay conversion’ and has never been involved in offering any formal counselling or ‘therapy’ in this area himself.’ The statement goes on to state that Harrison believes ‘there is considerable anecdotal evidence in popular media, as well as in the research literature, of people who experience varying degrees of change in the pattern of their sexual attractions.’ According to the statement Harrison also recognises that some people of faith who experience bisexual or samesex attractions ‘may choose a form of counselling support called “gay affirmative therapy”.’ Harrison also urges ‘considerable caution’ with such counselling techniques due to the lack of evidence detailing ‘whether such approaches are effective or not.’ Nevertheless, he supports those who want to ‘manage’ or ‘integrate’ sexual feelings ‘within the framework of religious identity grounded in the traditional teaching of their faith.’ Harrison is, however, involved

with the charity True Freedom Trust, which believes any gay sexual relationship ‘falls short of God’s plan for His creation.’ According to its website it aims to help Christians ‘who struggle with same-sex attractions.’ Reviewing a submission of Harrison’s in a book called ‘The Anglican Community and Homosexuality’ in 2008,

Michael King, Professor of Primary Care Psychiatry at University College London said; ‘[Harrison’s work] is of much lower quality. Here we have an academic psychiatrist bending over backwards to suggest, on the basis of the weakest sort of evidence, that sexual orientation can be changed. I suspect if he were reviewing

evidence of similar quality for the efficacy of a new medication he would dismiss it out of hand. ‘ A statement released by the university disowned Harrison’s views, stating, ‘Professor Glynn Harrison is no longer a current member of staff at the University of Bristol and so any views he has expressed are his own and not those of the University.’

Speaker Bercow talks student politics in University visit Zaki Dogliani Senior News Reporter

Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, came to Bristol University in March to address over 100 students and lecturers for an event organised by the Faculty of Social Sciences and Law. In an exclusive interview with Epigram beforehand, The Speaker discussed a number of topics, including student politics, Parliamentary reform and Twitter. Responding to a question about his own background in student politics, the 49 year old encouraged Union participation, saying, ‘Students’ Unions can, by effective campaigning and highlighting of the issues, communicate what students think about critical subjects to decision-makers not just at individual universities but, at national level, to government.’ While he said he would not ‘be prescriptive and say students ought to be discussing this rather than that’, Bercow agreed with Calum Sherwood and Henry Rees-Sheridan’s analysis

(Epigram, 19/03) that Students’ Union Elections had moved from ideological battles to being fought more on bureaucratic and administrative issues. ‘When I was at university most debates were about substantial national and international issues, and Union Elections were not characterised by people talking about bureaucratic issues. National issues were being debated and great left/ right fights being waged.’ When talking about reform of Parliament, and acknowledging the distrust of MPs that came to a head during the expenses scandal and after U-turns on issues like tuition fees, the MP for Buckingham suggested that this could in part be because ‘in a consumerist society, when people order something, they usually expect to get it. It’s not so simple in a politics of which coalition has become a feature.’ The Speaker also said that he was not yet tempted to follow his wife, Sally, onto Twitter, citing the political impartiality of the role of the Speaker as an obstacle to giving his true opinions. He also defended Sally Bercow’s ‘expressing of strong views’ on the popular social network. ‘She’s absolutely

House of Commons Speaker, John Bercow meets students Zaki Dogliani and Tom Phipps

free to do so. I don’t accept the argument that she’s somehow compromising the impartiality of the Speaker. That’s nonsense and based on the completely old-fashioned idea that the Speaker’s wife is just an appendage of the Speaker who

has no independent existence.’ Bercow started off his ‘Reform of the Commons’ lecture by light-heartedly refuting rumours that he was the shortest ever Speaker. ‘It is demonstrably untrue that I am the shortest

man to hold this office.’ After pointing out three Speakers to have been shorter than him, he admitted that this was ‘only true after all three were beheaded.’ Bercow, who lost to Labour’s Dawn Primarolo in

Bristol South in 1992, spoke fondly of Bristol as a city. He jokingly hailed his ‘achievement of being one of the few Tory candidates nationwide to increase the Labour majority in a constituency in what was a Tory-won election.’


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TV presenter Vine visits UBU for talk Katie Briefel News Reporter

Media Guardian Edinburgh International Television

Jeremy Vine (of Newsnight, Points of View and Eggheads) provided a unique insight into his celebrated career in television and radio at UBU on Tuesday 24th April. The event was hosted by Paris Troy, presenter of the Heart Radio Breakfast Show, who 20 years ago started his career at the University of Bristol radio station, Burst. The hilarious John Myers - well-known radio executive, consultant and presenter - interviewed Vine in an event that was as entertaining as it was insightful. When asked why he wanted to get into journalism, Vine recalled his childhood with ‘not much going on’ and ‘no internet’. At the age of 12, he got involved in a capital radio scheme called ‘Come and Be A Radio DJ’ where kids were given a ten minute slot to play whatever they wanted. Then he realised, ‘that’s what I want to do’. Vine worked his way up in the industry by becoming

a political journalist. ‘As a teenager I started writing for a student newspaper then moved my way up slowly to the BBC.’ When asked about his controversial take-over of The Jimmy Show near the beginning of his career, he said, ‘I just feel lucky’, and professes no guilt for replacing Jimmy. Vine spoke fondly of his profession, describing political journalism as ‘the most fun you can have without laughing.’ But he went on to talk about his fondness for serious journalism, arguing, ‘the further we go, the more newsworthy it is’, and professes to being ‘upset when we don’t hear about the other’, asking ‘where (in the media) is the war in the Congo?’ When asked about the accusations of his programme being too populist, his response is ‘I completely accept… well…none of it, to be honest’, arguing ‘the spectrum is there’, and he uses the example of a recent piece on female genital mutilation to illustrate the serious content also produced. ‘The change to journalism is the numbers’, according to Vine. ‘They used to be desperate for trainees. Now it’s the opposite. Due to the economic pinch

and advertisers having gone elsewhere.’ When asked for his opinion on the Leveson Inquiry and the general discussion of deteriorating tabloid journalist integrity, he admits to not being surprised by what has happened, explaining, ‘In this distressing climate papers have gone the extra mile for impact and it went criminal because they didn’t want to lose readers.’ He said it’s amazing how ‘the investigators are being investigated.’ He spoke admiringly about Ross and Brand when asked about their mistakes on Radio 2 and the subsequent public outrage. He claims Jonathan Ross saved Radio 2 and Brand ‘is an absolute genius.’ He just needed a senior producer to rein him in at times. When asked about mass media, he says ‘it’s a frightening thing’, citing Charlie Gilmore’s media reputation after he swung off the cenotaph in the student riots as an example of ‘the digital death-penalty’. ‘Don’t piss on war memorials’, because in 20 years, he said, ‘everything you do will be fresh as a daisy’ and ‘the future might see people having their lives ‘digitally washed.’

Georgie Twigg to join Olympic Torchbearers

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Bristol student Georgie Twigg (pictured) has been named as one of the official Torchbearers when the Olympic torch comes to Bristol in May. Twigg, along with fellow student Bettina Urban and Teaching Fellow Shirley Hume, will represent the university by carrying the torch for part of its route across the country. Twigg is a player in the women’s GB Olympic Hockey squad.


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Student favourite Magic Roll set to close Anna Godfrey News Reporter

keep it as it is but it is not up to us.’ Bristol student Jennifer McCain expressed her sadness at the shop’s closure, and what it meant to Bristol students. She said ‘it has become a firm favourite with students both in the daytime and in the evenings, and it will be hard to see another business replace such a long-standing Bristol tradition’ Magic Roll fans have expressed their sadness at the shop’s closure through the shop’s Facebook page, which currently has 1,117 ‘likes’. Customers posted comments such as: ‘Bristol won’t be the same without you’ and ‘Not sure what to say. But I’ve changed my profile picture in honour of this time of national grieving.’ Needless to say, Magic Roll will be missed by its many loyal customers. The closure of the popular takeaway comes after seven years of operation on Clifton Triangle.

Marek Allen

Having offered Bristol a healthy alternative takeaway for the past seven years, beloved student favourite Magic Roll, which has branches on the Clifton Triangle and Redcliff Street, will soon be closing. The date of closure is currently expected to be April 28th, leaving customers little time to make their final visit to the takeaway. Magic Roll has marked itself as different from junk-food takeaways by offering its customers Mediterraneaninspired wraps made with locally produced, high quality food. One student, however, commented on the high price of its food: ‘Few people are willing to spend over a fiver on a wrap’, saying that although it’s ‘nice to create what you’re paying for’, with cheap chippies just around the corner, Magic Roll was often second choice.

The reason for its closure is not financial, however, with owner John Keegan stating the sale was due to ‘a personal business opportunity’. It is uncertain as to whether any of the Magic Roll branches will continue under new ownership. Employee Shanti Maass, 22, said: ‘The owner has had the business for a long time now so the decision to close down is understandable but we aren’t very happy about it. ‘The good quality local produce we use in the rolls means we don’t make very much money even though it is quite expensive.’ ‘I am not confident Magic Roll will continue here in Bristol, but the store’s manager is apparently planning to buy the name so I hope Magic Roll can live on somewhere in the world in the future.’ Co-worker Charlotte Eskell, a student at Cotham School sixth form, said: ‘Regulars have been really upset. Sales have been fine and the customers want to

The student favourite is set to close its doors at the end of April

2012-13 applications to study at Bristol fall by 6.8% Katy Barney Senior News Reporter

Applications for entry to the University of Bristol have decreased by 6.8%, UCAS statistics show. The overall decline for students from the United Kingdom was 8.7%, and some universities have faced much higher decreases in numbers of applicants, such as the University of Chichester, where the figure was 21.8% lower than for the academic year beginning 2011. The decrease in applications

at the University of the West of England was 13.9%. The UCAS figures from January 2012 detail applications through the service, and show the impact of the fee rise which comes into force from this academic year. The plan to increase university fees, which was unveiled in Autumn 2010, was predicted to change the landscape of university attendance to a large extent, particularly by those who objected to the coalition’s controversial legislation. However, according to Nicola Dandridge, the chief executive of Universities UK, ‘the dip is far less dramatic than we were

initially predicting’. The action group, which aims to represent the sector, has also highlighted that the number of 18-year olds in the UK population is declining. Mary Curnock Cook, the chief executive of UCAS, said “Widely expressed concerns about recent changes in higher education funding arrangements having a disproportionate effect on more disadvantaged groups are not borne out by these data.” The main focus of research concerning the data has been whether students from poorer backgrounds have been put off by the increase in fees.

David Willetts, Minister of State for Universities and Science, stated that the 0.2% decrease in applications from disadvantaged students was ‘encouraging’. However, those in the field remain concerned about the disparities across the United Kingdom, as the drop is much less in Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland. Furthermore, Nadine Winkowski, on her blog for Universities UK, pointed out that there are ‘peaks and troughs’ over the years. However it seems indisputable that this particular ‘trough’ is due to the hike in fees to £9,000

per year. Another concern is the increasing divide between the number of men and women applying for university. Women are already in the majority, and the gap looks set to widen. UNITE, the leading operator of purpose built student accommodation, highlighted that there had been a 13.7% increase in non-EU applications, indicating ‘the continued appeal of UK universities overseas’. The cost for these students, which has always been higher, also increases in line with the new legislation. In recent months media attention has been given to the increase

in British students choosing to study abroad, especially in the Netherlands, where the fees are £1,500 per year, and many courses are taught in English. However, the figures for Dutch students studying here remains much higher, and only 1% of UK students chose to study abroad, placing us at the bottom of UNESCO’s ‘outward mobility ratio’. These figures are not conclusive however, and when results have been published and enrolment figures are known in August the true picture of the future of Higher Education will be much clearer.

College Green reopens after ‘Occupy Bristol’ damage Abigail Van-West Deputy News Editor

Marek Allen

College Green has reopened after damage from the ‘Occupy Bristol’ camp was repaired

Bristol’s College Green has reopened following considerable effort to tidy the land after the ‘Occupy Bristol’ protest. The clean-up procedure required £20,000 of new turf, and the land was closed to the public for two months to allow the ground to settle. The Occupy protest took place between October and January as part of an international movement campaigning against inequality in the distribution of wealth. College Green was chosen as the site for the protest due to its close proximity to the Council House. The eviction of

the protesters took place on January 31 after a court ruled that they should leave. Most occupiers left peacefully with the bailiffs moving only one protester. The fencing which has surrounded College Green for the past two months was removed and a ribbon was cut in a ceremony to mark the occasion. The protesters did manage to hijack the photo opportunity at the ceremony organised by the council by ‘photobombing’ the picture with tape covering their mouths. One protester has said ‘People became more concerned about the state of the green than the state of the country. The problem was we had three bouts of inclement weather and

people used that as an excuse to blame the camp. If we had our time again we would have had different infrastructure to make it less of an eyesore. We’re still here, the problem of inequality and unfairness is still here. We still have a government that keeps kicking the people of this country in the teeth.’ The returfing of College Green was undertaken by Craig West Turf and Elmtree Garden Contractors, who agreed to reduce the fee to £4,000. The work began on February 14th and involved the removal of contaminated soil as well as specialist equipment being used to scan for metal and debris. College Green is owned by Bristol Cathedral but maintained

by the City Council. Bristol City Council has said ‘The council would like to thank the public for their patience whilst College Green has been out of action.’ Prior to the Occupy protests it was a popular spot for students due to its proximity to the university precinct. Councillor Gary Hopkins has said ‘this is a much-loved green space in the heart of the city and is once again open and ready to be enjoyed by everyone.’ Among the first to walk across the new turf of College Green was a father-of-two from Bristol who said, ‘It’s looking lovely. People have the right to protest but this belongs to the people of Bristol. It looks pretty good so they can’t have done too much damage’.


Epigram

30.04.2012

8

15 bags of ‘sex litter’ cleared from Downs Alex Bradbrook News Reporter

Flickr: Pekha

taste and decency.’ This fosters some confusion over the legality of such behaviour. Avon & Somerset Police have also said that complaints had been received about offensive sexual activity on the Downs. Starting in May 2004, Bristol City Council has operated a telephone hotline to tackle the city’s problem of sex, and drug-related litter. Members of the public, council workers and police can call to report such incidences. A specialist team is then dispatched to clear it up, with a target response time of three hours. The hotline has been successful in helping to significantly reduce the amounts of unhygienic litter on Bristol’s streets and in public spaces. The public are responsible for half the reports received by the council. This most recent clean-up effort shows that sex-related litter still accumulates in areas such as the Downs. Council workers, together with community groups such as the Friends of the Downs and Avon Gorge, continue their campaign to improve the area for the general public.

Bob Pitchford

Fifteen bags full of sexrelated litter, including used condoms, pornographic magazines, lubricant tubes, tissues and condom wrappers, have been collected from the Bristol Downs following a community clean-up operation. The Friends of the Downs and Avon Gorge group collected the unpleasant waste on the first weekend of April, with eight volunteers combing the area in between Bridge Valley Road and Ladies Mile. The project co-ordinator, Martin Collins, said, ‘The reactions of our team of volunteers to clearing it up ranged from indignation, distress and depression, to disgust.’ He added that the sex litter was ruining what could be a ‘perfect, natural adventure playground for children.’ Collins stated that the situation was worse than ever before, blaming‘the lack of social awareness and responsibility amongst certain Downs users.’ Bristol City Council

praised and thanked the volunteers for carrying out this ‘unpleasant task.’ The Terrence Higgins Trust, which regularly hands out condoms in the area as part of a campaign to reduce HIV, expressed its disappointment about the litter, saying that ‘[the waste] should have been disposed of carefully.’ The popular use of the downs for outdoor sexual activity was publicised in 2008, when an effort to clear up scrubland in one area of the park was deemed, by the Council’s lesbian, gay and bisexual advisory group, as being ‘potentially discriminatory’ against these groups. Due to the area’s popularity with men who frequented it for sexual encounters late at night, the gay rights group argued against plans to improve the landscape. The clearance was triggered following several complaints to the council from members of the public about ‘inappropriate sexual activity’ in the area. Outdoor sex in public is not explicitly illegal under the 2003 Sexual Offences Act, but regulations do exist in statute against ‘outraging

The Downs is a popular location for outdoor sexual activity by night.

Bristol named best small ‘city of the future’ in Europe

Banksy art sells for £400,000

Harrison Carter News Reporter

Marek Allen

Work by Bristol-raised Banksy was sold for £400,000 at an auction in London. Eighteen pieces were bought at the auction, including the iconic Girl and Balloon painting. The piece was painted directly onto the cardboard backing of an Ikea frame and sold for £73,250, almost five times the price at which it was estimated. Leopard and Barcode, a famous Banksy stencil painting went under auction for the first time and reached a generous £75,650.

Bristol has been named Europe’s best small ‘city of the future.’ The influential business publication, FDI Magazine, has named Bristol as the continent’s best small city in its ‘European Cities and Regions of the Future’ report. The city came top in the comparison study of major population centres when ranked in terms of commerce, economy and standards of living. Tough competition came from Zurich, Antwerp, Lyon and Manchester. FDI magazine suggests the best places for people to invest capital to make the biggest return, particularly in relation to Foreign Direct Investment. Bristol gained its most impressive ratings in the areas of business friendliness and economic strength, scoring in the top ten for a number of categories. Known as the ‘silicon gorge’, Bristol was commended for the number of high tech companies operating in and around the city. It was noted as one of the most important European commercial centres for

high tech and digital firms. The city was 16th overall out of all European cities and received the prestigious accolade of European small city of the future. Bristol also stood out from other cities for its excellent quality of life and foreign investment strategy. City council leader Barbara Janke said, ‘This is excellent news that Bristol has received this independent award for its attractiveness to international investment. Janke added, ‘We pride ourselves on being a businessfriendly city and we are determined to create the right conditions for new investors to locate here and create jobs.’ West of England Local Enterprise Partnership chairman, Colin Skellett said, ‘We are very clear that Bristol and the West of England area has the skills and sector expertise to attract investment on the international stage. ‘These awards are ringing endorsement of these strengths and will help us market ourselves to prospective investors.’ The regional affairs director for Business West, formerly the Bristol Chamber of Commerce, Nigel Hutchings

was unsurprised by the result, ‘They are telling us what we already know but it is still nice to get this pat on the back. ‘There are plenty of great things about Bristol but we should not forget that there are issues that still need to be addressed in terms of accessibility and connectivity. ‘We have got a great airport and a new science park, which will eventually lead to the creation of 5,000 new jobs.’ Hutchings continued saying, ‘We have all the ingredients that go to make up a great city and it is great to have this kind of recognition. ‘It is nice when somebody tells you from the outside what you already know.’ Federation of Small Businesses Bristol branch chairman, Guy Kingston said, ‘When you look at most studies on the best place to do business they put Bristol at the top of the shortlist of locations.’ ‘However, what this city needs is a council which keeps working with businesses and doesn’t introduce silly policies such as a workplace parking levy. ‘It is vital that Bristol stays competitive rather than introducing measures that will drive businesses away.’


Epigram

30.04.2012

9

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Epigram

30.04.2012

Features

Editor: Tristan Martin

Deputy Editor: Andrew White

features@epigram.org.uk

deputyfeatures@epigram.org.uk

@epigramfeatures

What became of the class of 1989?

I

Tristan Martin tracks down the ‘Pissed Politicos’ and ‘Heckling Hacks’ of Epigram’s earliest issue on record.

n 1989 the University of Bristol under went a revolution. The student rag Bacus was denounced as NUS propaganda and promptly fed to the lions (it moved to UWE). After a period of Union bickering, a new title was decided upon and an editor appointed. Endowed with one Macintosh computer and a scruffy room on the third floor of the Union, Epigram was born. Edited by James Landale, now the BBC’s Deputy Political Editor, the new paper had begun to find its feet by the end of that year. On 30th November 1989, a week before the publication of the sixth issue, a political scuffle erupted that became the most talked about story of its day. What follows is a story about students, politics, pornography, and in a sense, predictability. It was the evening of the Union’s Annual General Meeting. All the usual politico-student types were congregating, with the largest opposing forces made up from the Conservative Association (BUCA) and the Socialist Worker’s society (SWSS). It seems that that year’s Conservative cohort were a particularly notorious crowd. Then President of BUCA Nick Allsop (pictured above) had already been picked out by the NUS National Secretary as a potential ‘troublemaker’, and was known for causing a stir at events like this. One such instance was attempting to join a Pro-Choice group under the alias of ‘A Foetus.’ In keeping with previous antics, Allsop decided to raise some cash by selling copies of

Playboy magazine as people arrived at the AGM. It is unclear whether his commercial venture was a success, but he certainly succeeded in angering the feminists in attendance. Thus began an evening characterized by a curious fixation with sexual politics. One of the first motions of the evening proposed by members of BUCA was an attempt to disaffiliate Gaysoc from the Union. It seems to have been thrown out without much discussion. The debate then moved on to an antipornography motion put forward by the Women’s Group (a precursor to today’s Feminist Society). It is unclear exactly what the motion proposed, but it raised points about sexual violence being linked to pornography, and about cases of women ‘being forced to appear in pornographic films under threat of violence’. Supporting a BUCA amendment that described pornography as a ‘harmless outlet for the sexual frustrations of unattractive men and women’, Allsop commented that, ‘women who oppose pornography are always ugly’. Despite moving on to the seemingly innocuous topic of vegetarian food, controversy would not be left behind. Rob Williamson was promptly asked to leave after refusing to withdraw the statement that ‘most vegetarians are homosexuals’. In the end, the scheduled debate on abortion never took place. As the meeting fell below the required capacity of 100, and those that were there were

seemingly too drunk to make much in the way of useful contribution, the AGM had to be called off. As students filed out of the building, Ex-Women’s officer Judith Carlson decided that some ‘non-violent direct action’ was in order, and doused Allsop thoroughly with orange juice. Writing in the paper, she said that not only did she want to destroy the ‘offensive literature he was attempting to pedal’ but also force him to ‘launder the South African rugby shirt he insists on wearing at every AGM’. Allsop replied in kind by

throwing a pint of beer over her, and a ‘general melee’ ensued between the Left and Right. Nothing like this has happened at a UBU AGM in recent years. The level of homophobia seen in 1989 is certainly long gone, as is the descent into violence. The debate on abortion, however, remains unfinished, with the Union’s stance on abortion being the most hotly debated motions of the last two AGMs. The question of misogyny-oncampus is also very much a live one, with recent flare ups in the shape of ‘Uni-Lad’ and ‘Steak

and Blowjob Night’. Perhaps the most obvious similarity between 89 and today’s Union politics is the pantomime of Left vs. Right that we see at these events. The political posturing that goes on is perhaps best seen as a kind of playground for opinions and policies; a useful platform for those that wish to fly their colours early. But in reading this early Epigram I couldn’t help but think of characters I have come across in Bristol, and wonder whether it really is such a playground, or if one’s actions at university actually say a lot more than that. With this in mind I decided to track down some of them to see if the inflated personalities I was reading about had become fully developed versions of themselves, or rather shed their student skins and stepped breezily into adulthood. Most obviously there was James Landale, who in his editorial described those involved in the fight as ‘unselfdisciplined, uncivilised and maleducated egoists who bleat their hollow political slogans for no other reason than self-publication.’ As the full interview across the page demonstrates, his current role as a senior BBC journalist hasn’t taken him far from his student days of ‘covering events where people of two different political motivations have a go at each other’. Nick Allsop, President of the Conservative Association and one time soft-pornography peddler, has spent the last 18 years trading interest rate products and is now the Senior

Director of Interest Rate trading at Emirates NDB in Dubai. After finding Allsop’s details on the Bahrain Bankers and Brokers Golf Society website, I decided to give him a call. Slightly taken aback that I had managed to track him down, he politely told me that ‘what happens in student times stays in student times, and I’ve moved on from there’. Judith Carlson, who was described by Allsop in the paper as ‘that well-known wimmin’, now works for Redbridge Council. After spending 7 years lecturing on social justice and inequality, she went on to work as a local government Program Manager tackling issues from unemployed women to planning and highways. She lives in East London with her husband, two step-daughters and a cat called Elvis. Sam Fremantle, though not mentioned in this article, chaired the 1989 AGM as President of the Students’ Union. When asked about Nick Allsop he remembered him ‘being a lot like a cariacature, much as he is in the newspaper.’ Alongside his presidential duties, Sam could be found inciting riots at Hiatt Baker with his punk coversband The Vibronauts. Sam now teaches ethics at the London School of Philosophy, and has maintained his DJ career under the pseudonym Dr. Vibes. So although many students like to think they exist outside the laws of inevitability, I have a distinct feeling that when you look back at the cohort from which you came, the surprises will be few and far between.

Nick Allsop

Judith Carlson

Sam Fremantle


Epigram

30.04.2012

11

In conversation with Epigram’s first editor James Landale may be the BBC’s Deputy Political Editor, but he started out as the editor of Bristol’s very own Epigram

The one thing I had no choice over was the name. I probably would have changed it because I never thought it was a good name. It’s a bit arch, a bit studenty

You were the first editor of Epigram. Was there no student newspaper prior to that? Epigram all began when there was some sort of political row in the Union - there was a magazine called Bacus, which covered student organisations. Basically it was rather dull, and repeated various NUS handouts. The row ended up with the University Union withdrawing its money from Bacus and the Union deciding to set up its own newspaper. I thought I had no chance, but thought I would apply. As it was, everyone else took one step back and left me standing there holding the reins. So it was left to me to set it up. The one resource I did have was that they got some money together to buy one Apple Macintosh. The whole thing was

done on this one computer. The one thing I had no choice over was the name. I probably would have changed it because I never thought it was a good name. It’s a bit arch, a bit studenty. Everything else I pretty much had free reign over. In those days the great new exciting newspaper was The Independent, and so we shamelessly copied various fonts and styles. I just went out and bought a shed load of newspapers and we went through them saying, ‘I quite like that style, I quite like what they’ve done there.’ So we produced a rather awful four page edition and handed it out to students at freshers week. Slowly but surely we worked our way up from that: got a few ads, a few more pages. I have to say,

the satisfaction of people saying ‘Yeah, I’ll have a look at that’, was incredibly gratifying. One thing I notice from looking at this issue, (and I mean this in a good way) is that it’s quite tabloidy; quite fun. As editor of Epigram I had absolute free reign to do what I wanted. So there were lots of rather bad Monty Python jokes. We once actually ran a travel feature about Norway, the headline of which was, ‘Are you pining for the fjords?’ If it’s not fun, there’s no point in doing it. As ever the struggle was to find news. There were always people happy to write reviews of arts events and things like that. But to find people who would actually go and report on things

from a news point of view was always the greater challenge. How much do you remember about the characters from this 1989 AGM story? I remember Nick, I think I did some classes with them. So, you know these guys, and you know what they’re likely to get up to, because you share the same space with them in the Union. We had a little office up on the third floor. It meant that you knew all the various political groupings, and you knew that when things kicked off a bit, there was always the potential for sparks to fly, and you kept a close eye on that. Offering pornography was clearly one of those things that was designed to provoke, and I think it did provoke.

Was there a sense at that time that reporting was something you wanted to do as a career? At that stage, you’re just having fun doing it, you’re not thinking ‘I want to spend the rest of my life covering events where people of two different political motivations have a go at each other’, which is ultimately what I’ve done. But what you certainly learn from something like this is the thrill of the story, which is just a basic journalistic instinct. Clearly this story was better than most, in terms of the run of the mill university events. What were your political affiliations, if any, at that time? I had none whatsoever. I stayed, hopefully, admirably out of the fray. I don’t think I joined any of the political groupings at all. Even in those days, if you were running Epigram, it would have been slightly invidious to be a member of one of those particular groups. It seems like back then it was more extreme left and extreme right. In our recent elections there was a feeling that all the candidates went for the middle ground, eschewing ideology, a bit like real politics I suppose. I’m sure that’s the case. But equally, I’m sure that people of the 60s would say that the politics of the early 90s were pretty dull by comparison. This was the era of John Major, the end of Thatcher, that whole period. I can remember people

huddling around radios listening to the end of Thatcher. What do you feel was the most valuable thing you got from University? Without sounding too pretentious, it allowed you to sit around and discuss abstract concepts, like truth, beauty, justice. It allowed you an opportunity to talk rubbish, without restraint or responsibility. And if you cannot do that at university, you’re never going to do it. And I think that is something that I always remembered Bristol gave me. Students learn the things they have to do, and are not necessarily given the opportunity to range more widely. And that is an intellectual privilege that I always cherish, and that I remember from Bristol especially. Have you enjoyed your career as a journalist? The great privilege of being a journalist is that you get the chance to get to the heart of things and watch what’s going on, and occasionally lob the odd pointed question to power. And that is something that we should be glad that we live in a society where you can do it. And so yeah, I love it, it’s great fun. Ever wanted to be on the other side of it? No. I shall leave the politicians to do their stuff and I will quite happily watch them do it and report on what they’re up to.

Feminists, lesbians and vegetarian man-haters since 1989 Rosie Campbell Features Reporter On hearing that I had started attending a weekly discussion group focussing on issues of gender, a friend asked me if that meant I had stopped shaving and had become a vegan lesbian. His sentiment uncannily echoed that of Nick Allsop and Rob Williamson’s comments at the 1989 AGM: those who oppose the sexual objectification of women are unattractive, and gay people don’t eat meat (for my friend, the logical connection between feminism and homosexuality was clear- feminism equals misandry, therefore feminists eschew all men). Clearly my friend did not intend to be taken seriously, yet his insistence that ‘he was only joking’ did little to ameliorate how I felt about what he had said. Though the crude and unimaginative

stereotype offered by my friend was not misogynistic per se, it served to highlight what we are all up against today in the pursuit of gender equality: the trivialisation of issues of gender. It is the same trivialisation that allows people to perceive the degrading and objectifying misogyny of UniLAD (and some uni lads) as merely a harmless comedy routine. Rape, sexual objectification, low self-esteem, and body image are just some of the material which forms the basis of these ‘jokes’. But they are also major issues which need to be considered thoughtfully and seriously. Those who laugh along lack an understanding of the actual effects such sentiments have on women. Though we do not tend to see such public expressions of crass sexism and homophobia as those recorded in that early edition of the Epigram, it would be optimistic to suppose

Discussion groups like Just A Thought are part of a growing trend of a less militant brand of feminism.

that these attitudes do not persist in student culture today, albeit latently. The inertia of degrading language makes this apparent; it feels as though girls will always be sluts, weakness in men will always be characterised as feminine, and ‘gay’ will always mean something negative. That sexism à la Allsop has

been forced underground or is found under the guise of humour may, however, indicate some progress in public opinion. It is evidence for the recognition that candid expressions of sexism or homophobia will not be tolerated. Just as when a person chooses to identify openly with a racist cause

they are publicly vilified, so do unashamed sexists and homophobes become pariahs. Furthermore, the descent of this kind of prejudice into the underworld has coincided with the rise of the internet. The internet is notoriously a breeding ground for dangerous ideologies, yet it allows us to look the enemy in

the face; in cyberspace there is nowhere to hide. The internet has provided neutral ground on which to engage in debate, and we can let the arguments speak for themselves. Social media is a vessel for social justice and should be used to educate and enlighten, and to virtually douse prejudice in orange juice.


Epigram

30.04.2012

12

A day in the life: University Security Services In the wake of last week’s bogus bomb scare, Epigram set out to investigate what our security guards get up to all day Ellie Groves Features Reporter

Security Services dealing with a protest outside the Wills Memorial building.

Baker TV room until the final moment when he absolutely had to lock up. He did however have to encounter two male students running away from him but his experience showed in his ability to track down the students quickly and thereby resolve a noise complaint, received by the 24 hour security control room. Upon following procedures and taking down names, he was met with hostility from some but cooperation from most. It is a job that is constantly moving and situations can quickly escalate. Bourke acknowledges that you

need ‘a thick skin’ in his job but, like many of his colleagues, he takes pride and satisfaction in making a positive difference to members of the University community. ‘We do sometimes get a bad press from students but then students themselves often get a bad press from others. Stereotypes can be both unfair and grossly inaccurate in all walks of life’, Bourke says. He was quick to add that the vast majority of students he encounters are polite and do not cause trouble yet he

worries that many students are oblivious to the variety of work undertaken by Security. Did you know for example that their work includes not just the physical security of property but also mobile patrolling of all Hall car parks and trying to stay one step ahead of bike thieves and other criminals? The biggest message Bourke wanted to put across is how students can ‘wise up’ to their attractiveness and vulnerability to burglars. On the night I was shadowing him, on two occasions he was able to walk into the kitchen of a flat, as on

both occasions the front doors were not just unlocked but wide open. He and his colleagues also encounter numerous ground floor windows of unoccupied rooms left open. Situations like this obviously leave student rooms and flats vulnerable to criminality. It is not just patrolling and lock-outs, Security Services also operate a busy, hightec control room from which operators can view cctv cameras across the whole University estate and alert or despatch officers to any incidents. They

Steve Cadman

Typically a student will never come into contact with an officer - they don’t like being referred to as ‘guards’ - in any greater capacity than being told to be quiet late at night in Halls or being let back into their room following a ‘lock-out’. Security deal with over 1,800 lockouts a year - yet this does not mean this is all they do. Readily recognisable in their uniforms and high visibility tabards, there seems to be a disconnect between how students view them and what they actually do. Steve Bourke, Assistant Supervisor, helps to run one of four teams of officers that provide a 24 hour, year round service to students, staff and visitors. Steve asserts that they are not ‘the fun police’ and in fact holds ‘a sneaking regard for those who put their own stamp on their time at University.’ It is only when certain behaviour becomes problematic or crosses certain boundaries that Security must step in. I shadowed Bourke on a recent night shift on his rounds at the Stoke Bishop Halls between 10pm and 2am where the first job was a ‘lock-down patrol’ of each of the Halls. Constant distractions lengthened this process. Steve was fair and friendly in his dealings with students, letting a large group remain in the Hiatt

monitor suspicious characters and help to keep the student and staff population safe. Security Services also offer to escort people who are leaving a University building late at night if they feel concerned for their safety. They are usually the first to arrive at the scene of an emergency. Did you know they carry defibrillators in their patrol cars and are trained to carry out fire searches in University buildings? Crimes are often reported to them as they are often in the best position to deal with it on the ground. As you would expect, they work closely with the police and other emergency services. The University has its very own police officer and police community support officer who are based at Royal Fort Lodge and are on hand to advise and help students in any way they can. Steve recalls one night finding around fifteen students driving a mini steam roller down Hollybush Lane having hijacked it from construction works on Whiteladies Road. This he recalls with amusement but of course there are other incidents with a darker side – inebriation, drugs and on rare occasions violence. Bristol University’s Security Services is an invaluable resource that do engage with students’ needs and in the case of Bourke and the other officers I met, do really seem to care about the student population.

Will ‘open journalism’ save the British press? Izzy Obeng Features Reporter The story in itself is just not enough anymore. In other words, reading an article is only the beginning, not the end of a story. People need to engage in a story, share it with others and possibly even act on it. Social media is God. This is the schtick of The Guardian’s brilliantly re-imagined Three Little Pigs advert recently broadcast on TV which shows the importance of Twitter, Facebook and YouTube in getting the world involved. According to Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger, we are no longer merely passive recipients of news. In this new landscape the printing press, once a fundamental pillar of the ‘Fourth Estate’, is in trouble. Newspaper revenues are falling year on year and bosses are having to find innovative ways to claw back profit. Whereas a number of publishers across the world have resorted to creating ‘pay-walls’ for readers to solve the headache, the Guardian seems to believe

Is The Guardian’s idea of ‘Open Journalism’ the way forward?

it has found an alternative. This is a more ‘open’ journalism - not a particularly new concept but revolutionary in its approach. Facebook has proven to be a critical platform. The Facebook

app promotes content, reaching a younger and more tech-savvy audience who would have been otherwise unreachable. Subscription fees, or pay-walls, may mean a flight of the fresh

bunch of youngsters it’s worked so hard to attract, reverting to its former loyal if ageing readership base. If it’s about making your brand resonate and increasing its transparency

pay-walls are counterproductive. That’s why they need to exhaust the online possibilities before that happens. One of the issues felt across the industry is that people don’t

trust their journalists anymore. The phone-hacking scandal has opened up a Pandora’s Box of problems. If it is the job of the press to open up our society we may ask: ‘who guards the guardians?’ But the Guardian is, as one journalist put it, a ‘good guy’. It is the paper that broke the Wikileaks stories; it was instrumental in uncovering the phone-hacking scandal and considers itself ‘a different kind of beast’. Journalists are increasingly having to do a lot more with a lot less. Maybe this is the future of journalism. Maybe it is simply the well-intentioned but unfeasible experiment of a man desperate to pull his paper back from the brink. The Guardian lost over £50 million last year and although the idea of a pay-wall has been rejected for the moment it has not been completely ruled out. Like in this Three Little Pigs fairytale, we all need to ‘join the conversation’. The fourth estate is crumbling and it is about time something was done before the people huff, puff and blow it all down.


Comment

Epigram

Editor: Patrick Baker

Deputy Editor: Hugh Davies

comment@epigram.org.uk

deputycomment@epigram.org.uk

30.04.2012

@epigramcomment

I Kant tell you how much I love Immanuel’s epigram Izzy Obeng comments on how her favourite epigram is more than a cute phrase; it has truly inspired her

Izzy Obeng Epigrams have a wonderful way of amusing and enlightening us. They are brilliantly witty, ingenious and often satirical sayings. Even if you did not know exactly what they were, it is likely you have been inspired by one before. It is fitting that in this 250th anniversary issue of our student paper we consider the nature of epigrams. Originating from the Greek term for ‘inscription’, these beautifully poetic sayings have been used for two millennia. They have been seen from the walls of Pompeii to the writings of William Shakespeare and were well defined by Samuel Taylor Coleridge: ‘What is an Epigram? A dwarfish whole; its body brevity, and wit its soul’. They also have a tendency towards paradox. The famous saying by the great 18th century philosopher, Immanuel Kant, goes: ‘I have therefore found it necessary to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith’. It comes from his Critique of Pure Reason, a fairly impenetrable text that raises an important and age-old dilemma - the conflict between science and religion. Kant’s argument is essentially that ‘reason’ should be limited to allow for the prevalence of faith because without faith one is neither moral nor free. Without

this morality God cannot exist and man cannot experience autonomy. If, for a moment, we put aside the philosophical implications of Kant’s work we can ponder what faith, or the lack thereof, means for us in the world we live in today. History is littered with the dead or decaying beliefs of human beings. My own experience with faith has been a tortuous one that has resulted in a sort of reluctant atheism. Reams have been written either side of the debate and I would be naive to think I could put forth a sound argument within this word count. Instead I can muse about my own experience of faith in the context of recent findings in the New Scientist on ‘why our minds have a god-shaped space’ and what even atheists could learn from the big guy in the sky. So, now we’re all way more intelligent than are ancestors, do we no longer need religion? Much has been said about the ‘militant atheism’ that is engulfing our society, stripping it of the moral foundation with which it was built. Then again, the weight of religion’s significance in the US presidential election also shows that it is not an issue to be taken lightly. In my humble opinion, religious belief is something that is intrinsic. It is something imprinted into our very nature, which is manifested in the belief systems invented by human beings who are always striving to explain the universe. Most of the religions mankind has ever believed in have died out but the ones that have survived and prospered - notably

Christianity, Islam and Hinduism - have been brilliant in finding sophisticated ways of survival and proliferation. My own impetus for finding faith came from a big godshaped void I found in my life after completing my A-Levels. Christianity, being the chosen religion of my family, seemed the most appropriate outlet and resulted in me trying to read the bible - quite unsuccessfullygoing to church and having deep meaningful conversations with religious friends across the spectrum. Hence the surprise and even relief to discover that I was indeed an atheist, it was not an easy decision to cope with- in my mind I thought surely denying the existence of a deity was just as irrational as insisting upon the unequivocal existence of one. My atheism is therefore parsimonious. It is not for the atheist to disprove religion but for a deity to make itself obvious to us and put forth an agenda for theism. Without that being done clearly, I cannot believe. Official numbers of atheists in the UK hover around 20 per cent whereas, perhaps unsurprisingly, US figures stand at between 69 per cent. It is also interesting that surveys often find the figures higher amongst students and academics- it may be worth finding out what the figures are at Bristol University. Returning to the theme of this piece, Kant may be right that the subjectivity of our ‘reason’ means we should all be more accepting of faith. Maybe I’m completely wrong and even foolish to deny faith in a God. Time - or death may tell.

250 not out: what does the future hold for Epigram?

Patrick Baker As Epigram celebrates its 250th edition, it seems fitting to take a moment to ponder the future of our beloved publication. Indeed, I found myself toying with the question of whether or not there will be a 500th edition in around twenty years from now. There is more than one factor to assess here. The question of whether Epigram will be completely swallowed up by the Internet is paramount. In addition, will the paper, online

or not, even exist? Surely, it will die out! I hear the screams, reverberating around my thick skull in a moment of mild schizophrenia. Will this admired student fixture be the next sorry victim in technology’s merciless procession towards the death of tradition? I am not so sure. It has become an attractive idea, and one in which many cantankerous old cynics gleefully indulge, that technology and scientific discovery leaves no room for the past. But is this really true? Take the radio, for example. Critics were certain that television would finish off the wireless yet the two have managed to coexist, relatively peacefully, rather like some sort of geriatric marriage: civil, rather indifferent but

occasionally quite sweet to one another. Perhaps the best example for this debate is that of the Kindle. Even a gadget of the most elegant and intriguing nature, with its charmingly inky screen and mesmerizing lightness, has been unable to move staunch readers from their unerring loyalty to the printed page. I, for one, enjoy the stale caress of crumpled paper, the fluttering and almost divine levity that the form exudes as it is tossed merrily from one inspired Bristolian to another; newspapers bring an intoxicating air of nostalgia, a sweet reminder that in this fast changing world, some things do remain the same. Indeed, whatever the publication, press and public have shared a special rapport; from the

Wall Street Crash to the death of Diana, ‘read all about it’ has a romantic and distinctly human echo. Sadly, time passes. It does seem more likely than ever that, as Rupert Murdoch himself quoted in 2006, ‘newspapers will change, not die’ referring explicitly to this gradual but nonetheless inevitable shift in format; from the printed page to the glaring, glassy impersonality of an online webpage. The immediacy of the news stories and the efficacy of costing make the web an enticing option for student journalism, especially. Furthermore, with the well-documented government cuts affecting the budgets of student unions up and down the country, it is not absurd to ask if there will even

be a paper of any kind in 20 years time. I believe there will be. Epigram acts not only as a source of information, regarding both Bristol University and the world around us, but as a mouthpiece, a voice for student action. It is highly in keeping with the bullish, vocal and argumentative nature of students to have a source of expression, to provide that exquisite tension which exists between the university and the people who make it one. In a sense, a student newspaper is like the BBC – an institution which almost every single British government, whether Labour or Conservative, has felt profoundly victimized by. This is healthy; it shows that it is a spokesperson for the

democratic debate regarding the improvement of our university. This year alone, there have been articles condemning the University’s expansion of the arts department and of the rights for arms traders to appear at careers fairs, for example. The paper is a symptom of a thriving, engaged student body, of a group of young people who are aware of the university’s responsibilities in providing value for money and of themselves, in entering into the spirit of communication and debate, giving the university its lifeblood and its will to be better. Whilst there are students, there is a voice, and, whilst there is a voice, there is a paper, whether online or in print.


Epigram

30.04.2012

14

The Martin family stand their ground Ailsa Cameron takes a look at US laws on weapon possession as the trial of the accused policeman rages

Ailsa Cameron

of crime-deterrence. The BBC recently followed a prominent Utah lawyer, who commented that, when everyone has a gun they are legally allowed to use, harmony is inevitably restored when ‘at some point people catch on…you don’t mess with someone who has a gun’. It remains unclear whether he believed that it is physically possible for the deceased to ‘catch on’ or that the success of it all is in the resultant culling of anyone with criminal potential. Besides such farcical ideas that nationwide armament will reduce the amount of stray bullets in the streets, there is surely another reason for such attraction to a law that effectively decriminalises murder. One explanation might be that the principle

of ‘standing your ground’ is loaded with connotations of personal empowerment. This is the romantic idea that you can enforce your rights and fight for your freedom, based on the absurd implication that there must be some kind of violence before there is peace. To someone feeling disillusioned, powerless and unstable, it is not hard to see the appeal of such strong rhetoric. Indeed, Heston’s theatrical performance at the NRA meeting didn’t just inadvertently highlight the irony of the right to guns. The speech is a paradigm of the melodramatic language used in ‘defence’ of civil liberties; civil liberties that are supposedly under threat from countless unidentifiable

sources. Currently, rightwing pundits are warning that a vote for Obama will reveal a post-election antigun agenda; the tone is scaremongering. It is, and please do excuse the pun, an apparent call to arms against a plethora of faceless attackers. It’s implying the arrival of a kind of scene that wouldn’t be out of place in a Hollywood sci-fi blockbuster. This relentless rhetoric of ‘faceless attackers’ does not only result in a climate of paranoia and neurosis, it leads to the random encounters of real faces, initiated often by whomsoever has a pistol handy. It just so happens that Zimmerman chose an African American ‘face.’ Racist or not, he was definitely acting on a prejudice, and a belief - yet

to be proved wrong - that he was acting legitimately in the eyes of the law. There really are no two ways about it: Trayvon died because he was black. Lax laws on self-defence are ineffectual not only because they feed off personal and societal bigotry but because they are extremely political. No one wants to contemplate the notion of being thrown into jail for protecting themselves or their home. But maniacal claims of civil liberties being enshrined in the right to bear arms do precisely nothing to enhance any sense of security. It is far more reassuring to know that a right to defend yourself is what it says on the tin: else, it is essentially a right to kill in disguise.

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Flickr: Gag

Flickr: Flickr: LandonField

In a memorable scene from the film Bowling for Columbine, footage is shown of the iconic film star Charlton Heston at a pro-gun rally for America’s National Rifles Association. During a thundering speech, he responds to any loony, flower-toting hippie-nuts threatening to prise the .44 Magnum from his grip, ‘from my cold, dead hands’. In the real context of America, where the right to bear arms for self-defence is protected by the Constitution, this translates roughly as: you won’t have to give up your gun until someone else has blown your head off with theirs. Certainly, the right to wield a semi-automatic, purportedly in order to protect yourself, is all the more perverse for a country that saw 8,775 out of a total 12,996 homicides committed with a firearm in 2010. Gun politics will doubtless always be a contentious issue across the pond. Most recently, however, it is specifically the principles of self-defence that have come under scrutiny, in the horrendous case of Trayvon Martin.

This was the bleak reality of Florida’s infamous ‘Stand Your Ground’ law: the legislation that permits those who believe they are under serious threat a wide remit for mortal violence and immunity from prosecution. It enabled self-appointed neighbourhood watch ‘captain’, George Zimmerman, to evade arrest for 44 days after trailing and ultimately killing a 17-year-old AfricanAmerican. The ensuing media storm centred on a recording of Zimmerman’s phone call to the police, in which he referred to Trayvon as a ‘real suspicious guy’. He was instructed not to follow the teenager. Similarities might be drawn between the Zimmerman trial and the controversial UK trial of Tony Martin, the farmer who fatally shot an intruder as he fled. However, there are some major discrepancies between the ‘Stand Your Ground’ concept - active in as many as 33 American states - and the English principle of selfdefence. English law tends to favour demonstration of an attempt to avoid a fight and permits you to use force that is reasonable in the perceived circumstances. In Florida, it is essentially possible to ‘pointblank’ shoot anyone ‘up in your grill,’ without even being arrested. It is interesting to note that a leading justification for such ‘shoot first’ laws is the claim

Popular reform: too pricey for ‘Poor’ Tories

Jevon Whitby

Conservative leaders ever. It may seem hard to believe now, but the ‘austerity Prime Minister’ had urged people to accept ‘hoodies’ as victims, promoted counselling for young criminals, advocated drug rehabilitation and was in favour of legalising gay marriage - albeit having infamously voted to uphold the shamefully anti-gay ‘Section 28’ in the past. Many of these might well have been ‘token’ gestures; an attempt by the ‘heir to Blair’ to re-brand the Tories as a more acceptable, modern and ‘centre-right’ party in the run up to New Labour’s demise. There were of course positions of disappointingly little change: Cameron’s continuing opposition to the fox hunting ban, Euroscepticism, strong rhetoric on immigration, the shortening of abortion time limits and of course tuition fees; all remained staunchly fixed on the Conservative agenda.

Flickr: Bunthype

‘It is mainstream Britain which needs to integrate more with the British Asian way of life, not the other way around,’ - the words of a senior British politician. Reading this you might imagine an Asian MP perhaps? Or maybe a highly progressive Labour candidate campaigning in a predominantly Asian area? Well no, amazingly these were the words of David Cameron in 2007. We are now almost seven years on from Cameron’s election to the Leadership of the Conservative party in 2005 and the political climate in Britain has altered considerably since then.

The economy has tumbled, banks have been bailed out, a Labour government has fallen to be replaced with the first coalition of modern times and the Conservative party has risen from the depths of hated obscurity to renewed popularity - and half-way back again. How should we assess our Prime Minister? For most people, the mention of Cameron or the Conservatives conjures some comment about harsh public spending cuts, youth unemployment or the Bullingdon Club. If you find yourself in such a conversation with more political students, a general allusion to the 1980s is always vaguely appropriate but feel free to insert your own verdict; we’re all in this together after all. Yet five years ago, these comments might have been ignored, as David Cameron appeared to be one of the most promisingly progressive

Nevertheless, it did once appear as if Cameron might slay the back-bench blue dinosaurs that make the party largely unelectable to our generation. Yet two years into an unpopular government the image of the ‘nasty party’ remains stronger than ever and the government with the Liberal Democrats very

much included - are expected to suffer accordingly in 2012’s round of local elections. The party reputation is not helped by Cameron’s personal wealth and background but, more fundamentally, it is a question of expense: government cuts are set to bite hardest midterm, whilst offering a glimmer

of hope on the horizon when public spending is due for a raise in 2015, prior to the general election. Perhaps still clinging to a modicum of pride, the Prime Minister does not acknowledge the issue quite so readily as Nick Clegg, who on Radio 4 last week admitted that ‘if you have no money, you are faced with difficult choices.’ The difficult choice the coalition pays for having ‘no money’ is to push modern reform and remain penniless or to act prudently and be hated. If there genuinely was a vision for dragging the Conservative party left, towards more generous and populist politics, it is far from practicable. Ironically, David Cameron could well have been one of the most ‘progressive’ - in a broad sense - Conservative leaders so far, instead he now presides over a traditionally ‘nasty’ government of austerity, sober belt-tightening and uninspiring


Epigram

30.04.2012

15

Stop super selective Grammar schools

Tommy Vaughan calls for an end to educational selection and questions the validity of 11+ assessment

Tommy Vaughan

while selective schools are on top, many comprehensives place highly. If, for argument’s sake, we take examination results as a proxy for the quality of education provided at a school - leaving aside any debates about exam training and curricular ‘dumbing down’, of course - the case for grammars is weakened. How many of the aforementioned 98% of Thomas Telford pupils would have been favourably positioned within a grammar school catchment area, passed the 11+ selection test and fought off equally ‘qualified’ applicants for a place? From this vantage point, it looks like grammar schools are routinely writing off significant amounts of untapped talent. This brings us to another point of contention. Even proponents of selection must struggle to defend the 11+ paper; the practice of classifying and separating primary school pupils based on their perceived academic competence when they’re still wearing elasticated ties. 11 is a ridiculously young age to consign swathes of children to the scholastic scrapheap of a neglected comprehensive which loses its best prospects to the local grammar. There’s also mounting evidence to suggest that the 11+ fails to perform even this function; when it was in vogue during the 1960s, sociologists accused the paper of incorrectly placing up to 25% of candidates. Today, despite increasing public scrutiny and outright hostility from many quarters of Westminster, the system remains woefully unfit to ‘fairly’ allocate pupils with some well-off parents spending

£1,800 on private tuition to ensure a passing grade. These are uncomfortable conclusions for a beneficiary of the Tripartite system to stomach, but the tired ‘us-andthem’ identity politics doesn’t bring anyone closer to a good education. In fact, mounting evidence tells us that selection is unnecessary. Far from a naïve fantasy, Britain’s best comprehensives demonstrate that excellent non-selective education is within our reach. The Thomas Telford School’s mission statement states its aim ‘to provide a wide range of vocational academic activities for students of all abilities.’ A more equitable education system must allow each and every pupil to nurture their strengths without being immediately discounted on their weaknesses. Having pupils with talents in different areas under one school roof will be challenging, doubtless calling for internal streaming and massive differentiations in subject expertise within teaching faculties, but the only way to ensure the same standard of learning for all is to eliminate the arbitrary selection process. Successful comprehensives and grammar schools alike provide us with something valuable; an insight into what is possible. For my own part, I don’t think there’s any incoherence in coming from grammar school stock and simultaneously opposing selection. I am privileged to have benefited from seven years of first-rate education – to deny that opportunity to others seems profoundly immoral.

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Last month’s news that Kent County Council had voted to allow an extension to an existing state grammar school in Sevenoaks, serving 120 extra pupils in the area, came to me as a nasty shock. Not, initially, out of any principled objection. KCC funded my own first-class grammar school education. The first expansion of a grammar in 50 years might well have struck me as a welcome development, but my educational background clashes with a personal intuition that educational selection is, ultimately, wrong. Wading into the quagmire of angry parents and angrier newspaper columnists that is the grammar school debate from such a position as mine is probably not recommended. A quick scan of the internet reveals that you’re only allowed to be sceptical about grammars if you went to a comprehensive. Anything else and you’re a hypocritical champagne socialist intent on pulling away from thousands the ladder that you climbed up. Deny my kids a decent education will you, you success-hating busybody? Dump them in a sink comprehensive? My daughter’s not going to get her PhD by mixing with the educationally subnormal! Maintaining this precarious position seems to smack of middle-class guilt; reverse snobbery espoused by

the most blinkered sections of the feeble left. Cast aside the ad-hominem mudslinging, however, and the picture is more complex. The school I went to provided its pupils an excellent, wellrounded education, one which I would not begrudge anyone. Furthermore, proponents of grammar schools are at least partially correct when they point to the failings of fully comprehensive education; a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach inevitably seems illogical when the usual figures are trotted out highlighting the overall disparity in exam results between grammars and comprehensives. By not allowing selection, we hold back our best and brightest kids from attaining excellence. Grammars consistently top exam league tables, often outstripping even private schools. Allowing top students to slip into comprehensiveschool mediocrity just because of the political incorrectness of selection, the argument goes, will ensure the UK’s relegation from the ‘Premier League’ of education. Yet an examination of this position shows that it obscures more than it reveals. It simply doesn’t follow that because grammars post the best results, they utilise the full potential of the best students. The Thomas Telford School in Shropshire is a prominent example of a topperforming comprehensive, with 98% of its pupils achieving the benchmark 5 A*-C grades at GCSE in 2011; a figure eclipsing a great many grammar schools. Moreover, this isn’t an anomaly; a glance at the latest league tables shows that,

Where would we be without the Students’ Union?

Chris Ruff In a recent blog on The Guardian’s education site, Nottingham graduate James Sanderson asserted that, judging by the fact that students can pay up to £200 towards their running costs during their degree, Students’ Unions probably weren’t worth your cash. The article provoked an instinctively defensive reaction from many of those involved in the Students’ Union movement. Poorly researched and far too short to cover the range of activities that modern SUs are

engaged in, the temptation was to toss it to one side and move on. However, to dismiss the article entirely would unfortunately be to dismiss the views of a large portion of the national student body; the arguments – hinging on the declining influence of Students’ Unions in University and Governmental decision-making as typified the unsuccessful tuition fee protests, and their apparent overemphasis on minority concerns, such as “transexual toilets [sic]”, which “aren’t representative of the average student’s concerns” – come up again and again and are therefore deserving of some attention. For those that are engaged with the Union on a regular basis – and I’m not just talking about the minority that turn up to AGMs or participate in the annual officer elections,

but the thousands of students who join societies and sports clubs, get involved in Epigram or Burst radio, volunteer in the local community and raise funds for charity through RAG – the argument for paying £200 over the course of your degree is easy to make; for the price of a designer coffee every three weeks you get access to a whole new world of exciting experiences and social interaction that most won’t have experienced before and will probably never experience again. According to figures from UBU, this year around 10,000 individual students have signed up for Union activities such as those mentioned above. Even if you take off around 20% for those students that join countless societies at Freshers and then never go to

any of them, the notion of a ‘disengaged majority’ of Bristol students is simply a myth. The claim often made - as Mr. Sanderson points out - is that SUs are ineffective at fighting for students and their concerns. Taking Bristol as a case in point, this is patently not true. This year, thanks to the Students’ Union, we now have a cheaper food option on campus, extended library opening hours, as well as student approval on the rent rates of halls of residence. Moreover, after lobbying pressure from UBU and numerous Bristol students, the University has decided to rewrite large sections of their access agreement with the Government in favour of cash bursaries. These are not insignificant victories and the issues are unquestionably relevant to

huge numbers of students. But that’s not to say that Students’ Unions should solely concentrate on these big issues. Any membership organisation that does not take seriously the concerns of vulnerable minority groups cannot be said to fully represent the whole. So, if by having a transgender toilet we improve the lives of even a handful of students, it is clearly a vital investment. I, for one, am proud to work for an organisation that values equality and diversity so highly, promoting inclusivity and tolerance in all the work that we do. The tuition fee vote was not, as the article suggests, the final nail in the coffin for the student movement but in fact a turning point in UniversityUnion relations. As the whole higher education sector enters

uncertain territory and £9k fees become a reality, University managers are increasingly turning to Students’ Unions in order to find out the priorities of the student body. The government may not be listening to students but at a local level this relationship is stronger than ever. Finally, I would ask you to imagine University life without a Students’ Union. No matter what personal opinions you may hold about how this particular Union is run, surely it is unpleasant to imagine a world in which students are reduced to mere spectators? Although far from perfect, Students’ Unions are essential for improving your time at University and more relevant today than ever before. Maybe we just need to shout about it a little more.


Epigram

30.04.2012

Letters & Editorial

Editor: Emma Corfield letters@epigram.org.uk

Controversial speakers invited onto campus Epigram hits 250 In the run-up to our 250th issue, a rifle through Epigram’s archives has uncovered some of the best and worst of student journalism. Throughout its short history, Epigram has won some considerable victories for a student paper with limited time and resources. In 2006, it was the catalyst for a national debate on the quality of undergraduate teaching after History students spoke to Epigram about their discontent with the new syllabus. This year’s revelation that Bristol was to be the only Russell Group University to expect students from disadvantaged backgrounds to get a job instead of offering bursaries, pushed the University into reconsidering its plans. But there have also been some shocking front pages; most memorably one which, Sunstyle, simply read ‘PERVERT’ in reference to a member of the public found masturbating the Wills Memorial Building Library. Since covering its first AGM in 1989, Epigram certainly can’t claim to have had a dramatic effect on student politics at Bristol. As Tristan Martin demonstrates in this edition’s Features, little has changed in a scene that remains more about political posturing than political issues. In fact, if we’ve learnt anything from delving into Epigram’s past it’s that even the course of Union politics is fairly predictable and unchanged by Epigram’s commentary. What a university paper does manage to do is capture a snapshot of student life, documenting the personalities and events that made each cohort’s time at university so memorable. It’s what has made looking through past editions of Epigram so enjoyable, and it’s what makes running it just as worthwhile.

How fair is FAIR?

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sinning against God to punching your mother in the face: ‘not nice, but ultimately she would forgive you’. Some of the things that these speakers say are highly offensive to most people, but the pertinent question is how we should respond. Recently, Sheikh Assim AlHakeem, a preacher who said homosexuality was ‘unnatural’ and gays needed to be ‘treated’, was banned from speaking at the University of Hertfordshire and Sheffield Hallam University. It is not clear on what principles he was banned, however. A free and liberal society must accommodate, without censure, both the expression of the views most support but also minority opinions. There are rare cases where we might accept censure, such as the bans on hate speech and incitement to violence, but the principles for these must be clear and justifiable. The BNP are often denied a platform at

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freedom of expression, stating ‘This approach recognises that our commitment to freedom of speech is tested not simply by accommodating mildly controversial opinions but also by tolerating views that may be found distasteful’. It is utterly essential that people at our University take the time to attend talks by groups with whose aims we might not necessarily agree. This is the best way of challenging our own views and making sure we don’t end up living in an ‘echo-chamber’. More importantly, attending these events means that arguments can be challenged and countered in the Q&A sessions and ensures that controversial speakers do not get a free ride. Mike Paynter

To get in touch, send an email to letters@epigram.org.uk

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universities not because of the bigoted opinions espoused, but because events involving them pose a significant threat to public order. This argument must be used sparingly, however, with the threat to public order threshold set as high as is practicable. In January, the Queen Mary University Atheism, Humanism and Secularism society were hosting the anti-Sharia Law campaign group, One Law for All, when a man burst into the lecture theatre and threatened to kill anyone who insulted Mohammed. The event was abandoned, but re-scheduled in March with higher security provided by the University. The Queen Mary Principal, Simon Gaskell, re-affirmed his institution’s commitment to

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Our publication of correspondence between Professor Eric Thomas, Bristol’s Vice-Chancellor and Chair of Universities UK, and David Willetts, the government universities minister, could easily be dismissed as old news, not particularly interesting, and perhaps unimportant given the tuition fee regime now in place. (see page 3) But hidden in the somewhat arcane detail of Peter Ainsworth’s paper, ‘An equitable approach to the private sector funding of university tuition fees’, are proposals that would profoundly change the face of higher education in the UK, and thus any endorsement, or even consideration of such a scheme by someone as influential as Professor Thomas is enormously important. The entire purpose of the FAIR scheme is to remove both the costs and influence of government on higher education, and to have a higher education sector as a whole motivated by economic incentives. Whatever one’s views on how appropriate that might be, reducing Universities’ activities to producing graduates with the highest possible earnings would have far-reaching consequences for almost every area of University life. The FAIR scheme itself has a number of good points. It would encourage universities’ careers services to assist their former students long after graduation. It links, for many students, what they gain from their education to what they will pay – an improvement on a fixed cost for an uncertain outcome, as Ainsworth cogently explains. But what is the value of an education? Can we really measure what one gets from university by measuring their income once they graduate? Does the market fairly assign worth to jobs we consider valuable, and if not, can we rely on economic incentives to ensure a supply of nurses, for instance? These are big questions, with no easy answers. They deserve to be debated in public, not in private.

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Our University is very lucky to have a vibrant Union and societies scene. There are groups available to suit almost every interest and affiliation, which is to the benefit of everyone. Of course, there is a darker side to this diversity. Societies exist whose worldview we do not share and who invite speakers with opinions we find disagreeable. On the 24th November last year, Bristol Students for Life hosted Joe Lee, Development Officer for the Society of the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC) in Scotland. SPUC is an organisation which has supported the intimidating ‘prayer vigils’ staking-out abortion clinics like the one on Bedford Square in London. It claims to be secular, yet also opposes equal marriage rights for gay people with clearly religious motives. On the 2nd February the Bristol ISoc hosted Dr Oktar Babuna, a creationist speaker. Amongst the statements he made were that Atheism and Darwinism lead directly to Social Darwinism which directly leads to communism, fascism and their associated atrocities. He went on to assert that WW2 in which 55 million people died is an example of the crimes perpetrated by atheism. On the 20th March at the Bristol Christian Union Lunch Bar, the society hosted Krish Kandiah for the talk ‘Is God Homophobic?’ Kandiah’s position was that it was fine to be homosexual as long as you did not ‘practice’ your homosexuality because this is something you have a choice about and is a sin. This sort of attitude trivialises homosexuality and denies gay people part of their sexuality. He had earlier compared

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Epigram

30.04.2012

17 Scribble by Jen Springall

The dating shame

‘Festival Review’ Epigram Nathan Comer’s review of All Tomorrow’s Parties festival will get you in the mood for the summer festival season. The alternative music festival took place from March 9th-11th and, rather unusually and the cause of much hilarity, was held at Butlins Holiday Camp in Somerset. Comer remarks that ‘if you think the queue for a gig is comically gawky and awkward, try getting those people half naked and making them line up for a water slide’. Acts that Comer appraises include Joanna Newsom, who provided ‘a typically captivating set ruined only slightly by the lingering smell of hot dogs that plagued the main room’, The Fall, ‘shambolic as always’, and Half Japanese, ‘whose naïve schtick somehow managed to be one of the most rock’n’roll gestures of the weekend’. Jeff Magnum curated the festival and also headlined. Comer highly praises Magnum’s performance as a welcome comeback from the disappointing disbandment of Neutral Milk Hotel in 1999. ‘Despite his vocal quirks, Mangum can still hold a note with stunning power and intensity, leaving many dewy-eyed towards the end’. Also on the music section of our website is a blog post from this year’s Record Store Day. The event on April 21st was celebrated at Bristol based music shop Rise and is designed for artists, fans and record stores to pay tribute to music on a global basis. http://www.epigram.org.uk

Best of the web

Facebook competition winners To celebrate the publication of Epigram 250, last term we launched our competition to win an iPad 2 simply by liking us on Facebook. And now, after much anticipation, the office supercomputer has randomly selected a winner from our friends list. Drumroll please...

Ellen Gowans Congratulations, Ellen! 10 lucky (leaky) runners-up have won SheWees: Lucian Cobley Carr, Ben Curnow, Lucy Forbes, Grigol Gegelia, Donald Gordon, Lottie Hudson, Chris Jacobs, Nimisha Rajesh Patel, Georgina Pike, Sam Tomes We’ll be in touch with each of you over the next few days

Given the choice between going on a first date or being locked in a cage with a lion with a migraine who has just trod on a 3-pin plug, I would choose the lion any day. First dates are exhausting; all the scrupulous effort getting ready to spend the entire evening being on, against your better judgement, your best behaviour, to consequently be rejected and spend the next week or so feeling like a brutal failure gnawing acrimoniously on your own selfesteem like a masochistic chew-toy. Only, possibly, a premature kitten crossing the M6 on a foggy day is more vulnerable than a human being on a first date, but even about that I’m not unreservedly sure. At just 22, I’m already reluctant to walk the tightrope that is the first date death-trap, a chasm of lust to the left and an abyss of bitter derision to the right; all the more so because I’ve probably decided to do it in stilettos all because I think that that’s what I am supposed to do. When putting myself through the fastidious scrutiny of a first date interview, without failure, I walk away bruised and having made a total twat out of myself. Nerves and I just do not get on. I don’t like it one little bit, just like men on a first date, apparently, dislike being asked whether or not they find my wobbly bits endearing. I’m not the only one though, right? Surely many men and women out there can sympathise with my comprehensive ineptitude to date. Lust in itself – after all, isn’t that what first dates boil down to? – is a crucible of psychosis. On a first date, I feel about as settled and straight-thinking as a bi-polar gnat having spent the night in a centrifuge. Combine that with the fact that I’ve absolutely no idea how to flirt and it’s lose-lose all round before I’ve even left the house. Being British doesn’t help. In order to really tackle “getting to know” (ughh) one another, at the outset we have to cover certain conversation topics such as the weather, transport, parking at the venue of our supposed dreamy encounter, and already we’re off to a bad start. I couldn’t care one jot about the gridlock traffic at the Blockbuster junction or the fact that you left your washing out when it started drizzling today, not least because when drizzle is mentioned I’ll unavoidably tell my favourite joke about Snoop Dogg using his umbrella “fo’ drizzle” and the date is as good as dead. That aside, usually, at least all that weather and traffic baloney is fairly safe. Such formalities out of the way, however, it becomes dog-eat-dog as I scrape the impervious barrel of first-time conversation starters with a relatively total stranger. When was it ever a good idea to talk about religion, the Nazis, baby names, the words ‘we’ ‘us’ and ‘our’, exes (I just don’t want to imagine you in the throes of passion with another woman before I’ve even finished my starter), deeply seated emotional issues which I’ve internalised for months… stop, woman. Dates really are a catalyst for the most pernicious case of acute verbal diarrhoea and I’m terminal. Dinner dates are the most unpleasant – aside from the fact that if the date is an absolute train crash, at least I have my food to play with. Nothing will end it faster than me making the carrots engage in conversation with the french beans, trust me on that one. Nevertheless, why would I want to eat dinner with someone that I don’t know? I can be self-conscious about dining with blood relatives as it is, let alone someone that I’m trying to impress. The main problem is chewing – without a doubt, I’ll a) end up chewing just as he makes me laugh and thus splutter forth the puréed contents from my mouth, or b) begin to do so at the dawn of an awkward silence and thus we will spend the next few seconds awkwardly admiring each other’s mastication technique, c) hit a gristly bit and have to fish it out adeptly without having to spit out my entire mouthful of risotto, d) dribble a touch of jus seductively down my chin, or e) most likely, all of the above. By the end of the evening, I’m mentally exhausted. I’ve spent money, time and effort and proved to myself, yet again, that I hate dating - but at least I know that if he does call, it must be love. Verity Stockdale


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30.04.2012

18

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Epigram

30.04.2012

Culture

Editor: Zoe Hutton

Deputy Editor: Hannah Mae Collins

culture@epigram.org.uk

deputyculture@epigram.org.uk

The Real World is beckoning Arts graduates: will 2012 find you standing on a street corner holding a ‘Hire Me’ sign?

Flickr: taumbly

an astounding pop, and we are faced with the future - and the sudden pressure to make it a success. I envy those with a concrete vocation – the medics or the thespians – those people who seem to have known their whole lives what they want to do with their future, and who know it with such unfaltering conviction. Knowing what direction to take is one of the hardest decisions we’ll have to make (actually achieving our goals may not be easy either, but at least when you’ve figured out exactly what those goals are you have the security of desire and ambition). Once you’re decided, if you’ve landed on a job in the arts, you’re still faced with a number

of problems: not only is it highly competitive, but it can also be financially precarious, and the fact that we’ll be leaving university in the midst of a severe recession really doesn’t help. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that you can be exceptionally talented and motivated, and yet still struggle for recognition and respect within your field, as well as financial prosperity. Many of us yearn to be writing the next bestseller, or for our face to light up the silver screen, or to create art that generates the same buzz as Damien Hirst (even if you don’t rate his work, his success is undeniable). However the reality of realising these dreams, though not altogether impossible (you gotta dream the

dream, right?), will take a lot of luck. Although the fundamental need to pay the rent will be a concern we all have to deal with after graduation, success need not be measured in financial terms – rather, we should learn to prioritise by assessing what makes us happy. If the prospect of seven-figure bonuses appeals to you, then working for a hedge fund is a safe bet - you’ll have to be damn clever and prepared to be in the office for eighteen hours every day for twenty years, but the prospect of mega yachts and caviar awaits you. Or perhaps you’d be content living the simple life, far away from the urban jungle and unconcerned with mercenary rewards. Either way, we must all make crucial decisions as to where to take our lives: an exciting but also incredibly daunting process. Over two thousand years ago Confucius offered a mantra that is probably the best guidance for us all: he said, ‘Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.’ The most important thing right now is to make the most of one’s university experience, to embrace the opportunities on offer and relish our youth, freedom and future. Arabella Noortman

Home or away: is the grass greener for arts graduates in Ramsay Street? Flickr: podmillo

It’s coming to that time of year when life after graduation becomes a taboo subject. Nobody wants to be bothered with the question ‘So, what are you doing when you’ve finished university?’; most refuse to even talk about it, but those who are brave enough are more frequently answering ‘well, nothing’. It’s no secret that the job market isn’t exactly flourishing, but the lack of graduate employment seems to be hitting students harder than ever. According to the Higher Education Statistics Agency, of those who graduated in 2010, 9% had still not found employment in the year after their graduation, compared to just 6% in 2006. Even now, there appear to be no signs that graduate employment

is improving. In response, some turn to the traditional route of yet more further education – others, however, seem to be looking overseas for opportunities. I was lucky enough to spend my second year abroad at a liberal arts college in LA. I found that there, employment is addressed much earlier than the final year of education, and students are encouraged to build relationships with future employers very early on - with an abundance of prestigious scholarships available to help students achieve full-time employment after graduation. I enjoyed my year abroad a lot, so I’ve been considering making the move more permanent. First, I deliberated postgraduate study abroad – but this seemed a far more expensive

option than studying in the UK. Now, I am considering the possibility of moving abroad to work, on a more permanent basis. Admittedly, the idea was prompted by a warmer climate (lying by the pool in Los Angeles after lectures didn’t exactly do me any harm). But there’s more... As I’ve discovered, graduate opportunities in the Arts are actually growing in some countries abroad – a welcome change from the constant decline we’ve seen here. The economies of countries such as Australia have been relatively untouched by the recession in comparison to the UK, resulting in increasing wages. Many people, having been unsuccessful in attaining a job straight out of university, take

up more temporary jobs, in hospitality, for example. But with the minimum wage in Australia at AU $15.51 (roughly £10.15) and the UK minimum wage at £6.08, it is ever more tempting to move even without securing a permanent job. However, I still keep coming back to the ‘quick-fix’ option for many students: post-graduate study. Arguably this might make me more employable, but I fear I’m just attempting to bide time whilst I figure out what I really want to do (can I put excellent procrastination skills on my CV?). According to the HESA, students who chose to do a doctorate in 2009 were twice as likely to move abroad after completion as a student after their first degree. So perhaps, given more time to think about it, students are starting to see the merits of emigration. As for me, whilst the lure of the Australian sun beckons, I am yet to decide whether the grass really is greener on the other side. Ella Tarn

The Film Buff Heralded as one of The Guardian’s top 5 film-makers to watch and winner of a BFI Best Fiction Film award, Misha Vertkin talks to Zoe Hutton How old were you when you first started making films and what was your motivation? I wrote my first feature during my GCSEs, and naively thought that I could produce the entire thing singlehandedly. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and the final film was an absolute shambles. However, it did effectively teach me the fundamentals of every aspect of filmmaking: from editing to producing; and cinematography to directing. I learnt everything from the internet, my own mistakes, and watching too many films. Definitely the best route. Have you found it difficult balancing your academic work with your film projects? I study Drama, Film and Television Studies at Bristol, which has allowed me to meet a massive number of talented people. This became the starting point of my feature film Brief Intermission, as I wanted to showcase the talent I’d encountered on a day-today basis. I believe this is the next generation of film-making professional-grade equipment is now cheap enough to allow passionate individuals the opportunity to put their skills and ideas into practice, regardless of their age. I’ve found it relatively easy to balance both academic work and film projects, but a Drama degree is not representative of other subjects. We have the luxury of not having to revise for exams, and our coursework usually somehow feeds into my own films. Did you ever consider pursuing film full-time and forgoing university? I turned down a well-paid job in the industry to come to university and, in retrospect, I regret the decision. University is an incubator of talent, but working on your own projects in the industry provides you with the opportunity to learn at an excessively increased rate. Also, although theory is necessary in the industry, it should not dictate your work: exploring your own ideas and

Ben Breading

The time we spend at university is a fleeting moment in our lives. It also an immensely significant period: a period of flux and consideration for the path we are going to take after we leave, when we are no longer nestled in the security blanket of education. As soon as we graduate, a whole new set of possibilities and responsibilities become available to us, and so we are required to evaluate and prioritise things differently. We all have the luxury of time at university – time to spend feeling annoyed at the person who has taken all the books out of the library (again), or deliberating whether you should still go to the lecture even though you slept through your alarm and that means everyone will look at you during the awkward shuffle to find a seat. Importantly though, our time at university allow us to not just be confined by our degrees, since, for most of us (especially arts students) there is more than enough time to indulge in the extra-curricular. However, once we graduate, the teeny tiny issue of financial stability rears its ugly little head and starts to affect the decisions we make – and therefore our trajectory through life. The self-indulgent bubble of university bursts with

@epigramculture

projects, and consequently making many mistakes, is the only way to learn, in my eyes. However, saying this, learning from your idols and researching into their methods, work, and styles is an absolute necessity in developing your own. Careers in film seem pretty hard to come by. What advice would you give to students who want to follow in your footsteps? I am just a student making films - definitely nothing special. Genuinely: all you should do is buy a cheap camera, and start making films. When you make a mistake you should research and rectify it, and then make another film. I have over 35 shorts under my belt and have only just begun to understand the medium. What is it about film-making that really excites you? Film, in my opinion, is the most emotive and exciting medium in existence. Without sounding clichéd: it can transport you from world to world, exploring endless ideas, while instigating the imagination in such a visual way that it rivals and surpasses every other form of creativity. This is because it can incorporate every other medium within its execution, and stands forever as a testament to the director/ writer/producer’s vision and ideas. Misha’s latest film explores his continuing obsession with distopias. Check it out at: http:// bit.ly/I53TrX


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21

The Drop-Out Success I feel fraudulent writing for Epigram’s graduate issue as, if I hadn’t quit Bristol in 2010, I’d still be in my final year studying French and German. NME advertised for an assistant reviews editor that summer, and I applied instantly: I hated my course (I felt bleaker than the module on early 20th century Austrian farming literature), and much preferred editing Epigram’s music section.

Biology boy Josh Gabbatiss on the allure of ditching osmotic pressure for oil paints Year after year, students are drawn to Bristol (at least in part) because of the city’s rich artistic heritage. And it’s probably fair to say that, while many students force smiles as they knuckle down to another post-lab writeup, in their heart of hearts, they’d love to be earning a living doing something more creative. While I thoroughly enjoy my degree, my love of painting often makes me wonder – especially following a heavy afternoon of cockroach dissection – whether a career as an artist might not suit me better. So what does being an artist mean in this day and age? There are, of course, the rock stars of the art world – the Hirsts and Emins who now dominate the public perception of what it means to be ‘an artist’. But for the vast majority of people hoping to make a career out of art, dreams of stardom will have to remain just that. They will have to content themselves with the occasional sale, hopefully earning just enough to pay the bills. As a case study, let’s examine my aunt, who, for the past 25 years, has worked as an artist in Vancouver. Prior to this, she studied Geography at Durham and then spent three years working for the Swiss Bank – selling her soul and, presumably,

Josh Gabbatiss

I had been writing for NME since I was 17, having decided that I wanted to be a music journalist at 13, when I was trying to figure out how to meet my favourite musician legitimately, and without being a creep. Not sure if I’ve nailed the latter yet, but getting an audience with an amazing musician is yet to lose its allure. I got the job, quit university the day before I was supposed

to move to Austria for my year abroad, and worked at NME until this March. Now I’m associate editor of Pitchfork, their first UK-based member of staff. As for advice: Learn how to be really good by reading excellent writing every day. It’ll work its way into your own approach. Examine the structure of how features are written, and learn how to pitch. Carve yourself out some area of expertise: You’ll never be the world’s greatest expert on Dylan, so figure out what you can own. Always be prepared to learn from someone who knows better, and to write for free for a while. Twitter really is an incredible tool for getting yourself in front of editors. Don’t bombard them with links to your blog; rather, tentatively and smartly, join in with the discussions of people you’d like to be your peers. I got my first Guardian commission this way, about a cat in a spacesuit. With regard to music writing specifically, if the idea of being a music journalist feels like a job as opposed to the chance to get paid for your hobby, don’t bother. Your job is to make people interested in what you care about, so if that feels like a slog, it shows to readers. Laura Snapes

Portraits over petri dishes

making shed-loads of cash. After fleeing to Canada she gradually drifted into her new career as a painter, driven by that feeling all too familiar to students – that everything will probably turn out alright in the end. Now she’s living the dream with her own studio and a relatively stable and successful career as a painter. I often wonder: ‘how’d she managed it?!’ Clearly, we’ve missed our chance to go to art school and prance around for three years taking grainy Polaroid snaps – instead, I plumped for libraries over landscapes. But maybe this isn’t such a bad move: I’ve met an installationist with a degree in astrophysics, and

A post-graduate’s guide to post-uni life

Rosemary Wagg

For any graduate, leaving the cosy confines of university and heading out into the job market is bound to be a stressful and unnerving experience. But, for the current generation of graduates, it promises to be even more so. Far from being buoyed up by the ‘American Dream’ (‘even a pauper can become president’) or 1980s feminism (‘you can have it all’), we are instead drowning in the gloomy news that we are, in all likelihood, going to end up a lot worse off than our parents (pensions, etc) - and that’s even if we can get a job in the first place. In the seminal movie of my life, Clueless, Cher Horowitz delivers the line ‘As somebody older than you, let me give you some advice…’ but unfortunately, even though I graduated way back in the wilderness of 2009, I’m afraid I can offer almost no positive, concrete advice apart from that above. According to those many years older, we are all apathetic, uninterested in politics, lazy, and unwilling to work. We have no sense of the long term because we are too busy Facebooking and ruining language, turning nouns into verbs - whilst life is fleeting, we

are too busy tweeting. The economic mud which those in the generations before us have created is so thick that we have no chance of getting out of it - which somehow seems to reflect badly on us rather than those who thickened the shit in the first place. Consider this: all the ‘established’ voices are at least a generation older and it is them who have created this idea of the apathetic, mollycoddled forever teenagers. It is them that have told us that we

will never succeed, that we will never be ‘better off’ than them. Them that stole free education from us forever (far worse than Thatcher’s milk-stealing antics, don’tcha think?). When I, like Sisyphus before me, prepare each day to roll the boulder of debt and burden back up Park Street I can’t help but shout (in my head): ‘Well thank you very much for fucking my future!’. Other days though, I thank the fact that now I no longer have to pretend to want a mortgage and a car

and a childhood sweetheart. The job market has changed beyond recognition: it’s now unlikelier than ever that you’ll remain in your hometown, find a job, and raise your 2.4 children. You will no longer be able to walk into a rosy-tinted family life of cornflake box monotony and bunting-clad village fetes. But this is definitely something to celebrate - the fact that most families can no longer get by on just one income forces us out of the kitchen and into the liberating world of financial independence. In the past if I had said I wanted to be a writer, I would have just been told to behave and go get a sensible job like everyone else. But now that the goal of a ‘sensible job’ has become less and less achievable for most of us, perhaps the heady idealism of forging a career as a writer has become just as attainable as the wannabe investment bankers’. I call on you to seize this opportunity. This is the Age of the Starving Artist. Our time has come. Hunter S. Thompson had a favourite proverb: ‘May you live in interesting times’. Let this be my parting wish to the Class of 2012. Rosemary Wagg

a glassblower with no more artistic credentials than a few years working in IKEA. As with so many things these days, it seems that qualifications in themselves are rarely all that important; it’s experience that will be more useful in the big wide world. After all, you can’t, like, qualify to be an artist (man). Instead, go out and develop a style - a selling point that’s unique to you, and draws on your own qualities and experiences – and hopefully it will pay off. Another clear problem with art school is that, after three years of unfettered expression of your ideas, you eventually emerge into the real world with

grand ideas about yourself and your work. But the reality is that if you want to forge a career in a creative industry, you often have to leave the idea of Art with a capital ‘A’ at the door – primarily, your work has got to sell. Snobby though it may sound, most artbuyers seem to feel threatened by work that is too serious, and instead often base their choices on what’d go best above their Aga, or whatever’s tipped to be the next big money-maker. So despite fears of selling out, it is important that at least some of your work has commercial value – enough to feed and clothe yourself at any rate. So what’s the point of all this? Well for me, as a science student, I’ve found it’s important to find the time to paint portraits because it’s one of the things I enjoy doing most. But it would also be a great thing to develop into a little business to earn some pocket money – something which I’m tentatively trying to do. In these trying times when a good degree is no guarantee of a good job, it’s important to have as many strings to your bow as possible. I would encourage anyone with a creative urge to act on it and see how far it gets them, because you never really know – it could become a fulltime career.

The Chancer It feels strange writing this given it’s less than 12 months since I last left an essay to the night before, or realised that I had spent a whole lecture just glancing into the distance with only the title and date at the head of the page. After getting rejected from the journalism MA I’d applied for, I found I was graduating in a peculiar position - quite unlike many in my year - in that I had a thorough idea of what I wanted to do with my life but no actual firm plan of how to do it. I knew I wanted to go into journalism, and music writing in particular, but hadn’t really thought of how I would go about it. Like many students, I was still mollycoddled with the expectancy that it would all just fall into place. Those less naïve than I reading this will already know this not to be the case. So I spent the summer crashing on people’s sofas, laying down the groundwork and putting the hard work in. Luckily the online media world is pretty remote, so it wasn’t as manually tiresome as that metaphor might suggest. Finally, I was appointed as Associate Editor at The Line Of Best Fit – a leading UK music website. Having broadened my contacts through Twitter

– yet never stepping foot into the murky waters of Linked In – I started to see things go somewhere. After a few weeks back at home in Wales once all my friends had headed back to the world of essays and exams, I decided to move to London

– again hopping from sofa to sofa and testing the tolerance of many friendships along the way. I interned at music news site, Gigwise and then found a position at monthly print magazine, DIY, as Editorial Assistant. It’s not a career for those with firm capitalist values - sometimes I have to convince myself that what I get in free beer and gig tickets is about as much as I’d waste my monthly paycheck on anyway. After months of living out of a hold-all, now having I’ve moved into a flat in North London, I’ve come to realise that I don’t actually have enough to fill an entire apartment anyway. So that’s just as well, really. Luke Morgan Britton


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22

Clash of the creative titans Sian Edwards on Hockney’s transatlantic landscapes and Hirst’s morbid obsessions

Tate Modern

human skull that cost the artist over £14 million to create. Death, to Hirst, seems to be a game played by any means possible. He has spoken of his interest in humanity’s rejection of mortality – our hatred of the realization that death will come to us all - and it is this theme that lies at the heart of his pieces. Hirst’s exhibition certainly confronts the macabre head on, and the spectacles on show take morbid eccentricity to a new level. Ultimately, though, while one of Hirst’s shocking images might be arresting alone, roomfuls upon roomfuls of them suddenly seem banal – forcing us to question whether he can be anything more than sensational.

Prof. Ronald Hutton

A leading authority on paganism and witchcraft, legendary lecturer Professor Ronald Hutton offers up his wisdom and experience to the class of 2012 I began my history degree in the 1970s, when it was the classic way for a pupil from a state school to get entry to a high-level career. I got a scholarship to Cambridge, which for an Essex grammar school boy opened the way to

I never intended to become an academic; my career aspirations before entering were vague. I wanted to earn my living by my pen, perhaps as an author, more probably as a journalist. But, the prospect of graduation did not thrill me. I was enjoying my studies and really beginning to stretch myself intellectually. Accordingly, I did not relish the idea that these studies were about to stop. After finding out that I didn’t want to work as the assistant to a literary agent, and doing a couple of mundane jobs in order to keep my head above water, I enrolled on a Masters course with a view to staying on to study for a doctorate. These days, debt and the prospect of further debt has made the fairly cheerful approach to lack of money that informed my own career decisions more or less impossible for current graduates to maintain. My advice for those of you who are graduating soon: don’t get dispirited. The transition from study to work can be difficult, and, unless

you are very lucky, the first couple of years of full-time employment will not be as rewarding as life at Bristol.

However, do bear in mind the fact that jobs tend to improve, and that many people take a while to find the job that suits them. Be resilient, and keep hold of your ideals and your ambition. Also, don’t feel that your intellectual life has come to an end – an arts degree should be the foundation to a lifetime’s reading and reflection, not the end of it, so allow yourself time in your week to read and think, and, if you feel so inclined, to write.

Improv Soc for hire at Fringe This year, Bristol’s Improv Soc are finding comedy in the nightmare of unemployment Last year, Bristol Improv Soc went to the Edinburgh Fringe with a show named ‘Channel Hopping!’ - this year it’s ‘Bristol Improv For Hire’, a comedy show in which four characters compete for jobs suggested by the audience. Director and Producer of this year’s show, Emily Cawse, landed on the show’s topic after experiencing an anxiety common to many students: ‘When I was developing the show idea earlier this year, almost all I could think about was applying for jobs, getting jobs, finding internships, worrying about experience, writing my CV... so doing a comedy show about graduate employment was just a natural progression.’ But it’s not merely the anxiety of experiencing the graduate job market which has inspired the show.‘The job application process struck me as fundamentally humorous. I mean, that’s the root of the success of shows like The Apprentice.’ Indeed, The Apprentice can stand as a symbol of the strangeness of the world of employment, and our obsession with it. It’s certainly had some small influence on Improv’s new show: ‘If you put four eccentric jobseekers on stage and tell them to sell a bizarre, made-up product to the audience, that’s

Emily Cawse

bristol.ac.uk

what a television series in that decade termed (of precisely this step)’the glittering prizes’. Forty years ago, the ‘employability’ of a degree was less of a concern: what counted was a degree from a good university. A businessman told me when I was eighteen, ‘If somebody has a double first from Oxford or

Cambridge then they have any job they want- certainly from me or anybody else I know.’ I aimed for a double first and got it. I never realised that I could become an academic. Initially, I planned to become a lawyer, till I realised that (in those days) you needed money to become one, and I had none. I then considered journalism, at which I trained till I realised that I liked the job but hated journalists. When I got a starred first-class honours result in Part One of my degree, I realised for the first time that I might write history for a living, and enormously enjoyed it. When the time came to graduate I was glad to be gone, and move on to get my next degree and into a job. Everybody now works a lot harder: the world is either out of work or worked near to collapse. My advice for the graduates of 2012 is not to worry: you are in a better position than most. It’s just a tough world, and you are relatively well placed to make the best of it.

Meanwhile, this Easter, the Royal Academy turned over all its rooms to the work of David Hockney - the first living artist to be honoured in this way. Hockney’s career has spanned over half a century and incorporated a diverse range of mediums - from portraits and paintings, to prints and photocollages. This exhibition sees Hockney explore the landscape of his home county of Yorkshire, using drawings made on his iPad and gigantic oil paintings that cover whole walls. The choice of images displayed in the entrance alone demonstrates the main themes of Hockney’s recent work. Four large oil paintings face each

other from opposite corners of a circular hall, mirroring the same landscape through the seasons, injecting life in all its vivacity into even the harshest of Yorkshire winters. Each is bright – colours exaggerated and shapes smoothed over – reminding me of the Californian sun that Hockney has been basking in for the past few decades, and the glorious poolside paintings that made his name. Hockey’s history is not forgotten. A large room is filled with abstract paintings from his trip to Switzerland in the back of van as a student, while another holds enormous photo collages of the Grand Canyon from the 90s, each giving us a glimpse into his journey as an artist. It’s these glimpses that make the exhibition so special: as well as 50 or so unfinished sketches and water colours, as well as an area devoted to his notebooks and preparatory iPad drawings. The sheer exuberance of the numerous works on display remind us why Hockney is as revered as he is, his work reminds us all of the beauty and splendor of our own countryside and that even the darkest day can be lit up at the stroke of a brush.

A prominent academic whose poetry reviews have appeared in the Guardian, English lecturer Dr. William Wootten offers his thoughts on graduate life

Flickr: podmillo

For the first major retrospective of Damien Hirst’s work in Britain, it’s clear that expectations are high. The Bristol-born artist carries the power to demand over £1,500 for a pair of salt and pepper shakers from his bankrupt restaurant – yet in this latest exhibition, Hirst appears to have lost his ability to shock, failing to create the discussion he is so well known for. The overwhelming feeling that emanates from each of the blank gallery rooms is one of slight disappointment: the infamous shark in formaldehyde hangs limply, having lost all of the sparkle and shock that its reputation tells us we should be feeling. Skinned heads of sheep lie on the floor beside it encased in glass vitrines and appear forgotten, as though left at our feet as an afterthought that most visitors don’t even register. Anticlimax aside, though, I’m always left wondering how Hirst comes up with his ideas. As I walked between the halved body of a cow and its child, I watched (and smelt!) flies feasting on the decomposing cow’s head, before flying to their deaths by the means of a fly zapper above them. And this is without even mentioning the infamous diamond encrusted

Dr. William Wootten

effectively the live stage-version of The Apprentice, isn’t it?’ Improv (though familiar to fans of Whose Line Is It Anyway?) may strike some as difficult to approach, but much of the appeal of the genre lies in its unpredictability and its unrepeatability: ‘We never ever script improv, and we try not to repeat sketches we’ve done before, to keep it fresh and funny. We practice A LOT though, so we know what we’re doing.’ Taking part in something like an Edinburgh show can also

be rewarding personally and professionally: ‘I am definitely putting Comedy Producer/ Director on my resume and LinkedIn. I love improv comedy, and I am so sad to leave Bristol Improv this year. I want to go out with a bang! But I also want a job. That is certainly a not-soulterior motive.’ Of course glowing CVs are not the only route to successfully making a living. ‘Some of the cast are definitely talented enough to be full-time comedians, but it’s incredibly difficult to do

professionally. It means years and years of slogging, and probably not getting paid. I dream that one day, on a famous comedian’s Wikipedia page, it says “X began their career with Bristol Improv at the University of Bristol...” I think it could happen. I really hope so.’ ‘I don’t have any plans to be a comedian myself, although I would love to work in comedy, maybe behind the scenes. But who knows? Plenty of great comedians started in their 30s and had a totally different career first. Russell Kane did an English degree and then went into advertising before becoming an Edinburgh Award-winning stand-up.’ The Edinburgh show is not all the society has to look forward though. Bristol Improv headlines every Hill-arity, Sundays nights at The Hill on Cotham Hill, which features 3 stand-ups from the university and beyond. ‘We will be trying out Bristol Improv For Hire at upcoming Hill-arity gigs, as well as in proper preview shows in June.’ In addition, there are new regular shows in Stoke Bishop for first years, called ‘Joke-Bishop’, first performed last term, and more gigs are in the pipeline. Joshua Adcock


Music

Epigram

Editor: Nathan Comer

Deputy Editor: Pippa Shawley

music@epigram.org.uk

deputymusic@epigram.org.uk

30.04.2012

@epigrammusic

Oliver Marler

Searching for the spirit of Bristol To celebrate Epigram’s anniversary issue, Nathan Comer discusses the sound of the city with local heroes Zun Zun Egui ‘I think real plantlife on stage would be good. We could be wrapped in vines, with palm trees and shrubbery at the front of the stage’, jokes Matthew Jones, drummer for Bristol’s Zun Zun Egui, while discussing potential concepts for their stage show on their next tour. Bristol has always been renowned for producing the esoteric and the eccentric; Zun Zun Egui, it would seem, are no exception. This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has heard the band’s debut, Katang, an album brimming with the same kind of explosive energy that is so beautifully displayed on the record’s cover, an impressionistic flora created by the band’s resident visual artist, keyboardist Yoshino Shigihara. The sound is full of characteristic contradictions; their equally controlled and frenetic grooves flirt with experimentalism without ever losing sight of the almighty hook. In other words, it’s music that you can both move your feet to and scratch your beard to (if you’re into that, of course).

When probed on the relationship between pop music and the avant garde, the band proves to be very insightful. ‘I love the avant garde’, says vocalist and guitarist Kushal Gaya, drawing an interesting parallel between avant garde music and academia in the scientific community. ‘The avant garde is like research and development, and popular music is a product that comes from that. There is a lot of pop music that borrows so much from the avant garde.’ In the same breath, however, Gaya is critical of those that let their experimentalist urges obscure their art. ‘I think we prefer to do our experimentation in private and use the fruits of that in a different musical way. One thing that I think for a long time we’ve actually been rebelling against is the use of the “experimental” music platform to do just about anything; any kind of bullshit. Since the late 1990s, we’ve seen the revival of “noise” music, picking up on Throbbing Gristle and things like that. But it got to the point where if

you just had a distortion pedal and a delay pedal, you were a musician.’ So when experimentation finds its way into the group’s music, it does not appear in drawn out, inaccessible forms, but exists in the structures that they have preconceived. ‘We still experiment to a certain degree, but we have it contained in more conventional forms,’ reveals Jones. ‘That’s the more exciting way to do it, really. It makes it accessible to more people, and it means that the people playing it understand what’s going on as well, rather than just blagging it.’ A decent analogy would be Talking Heads, whose brazen engagement with the avant garde was not overwrought, never undermining the visceral appeal of their music. In fact, a Talking Heads comparison is quite befitting for Zun Zun Egui – both bands have thorough conceptual predilections behind their exhilarating songwriting, not to mention their mutual engagement with afrobeat (Zun Zun Egui’s ‘inception’ involved a 9-piece band complete with afrobeat

brass section and auxiliary percussion). Indeed, the band’s sound reflects a spirit that is very much engrained in the heart of Bristol. Diversity and a willingness to do things a bit differently have been defining factors of the music scene that has produced acts as seemingly disparate as The Cortinas and Joker. ‘Bristol is a very transient place,’ opines Gaya, attempting to flesh out the reasons for the city’s consistently thriving music scene. ‘There are plenty of people travelling the world that end up using Bristol as their base. Because of this transcience, you have this eclecticism.’ Jones concurs; ‘since I’ve been in Bristol, I’ve played with people from so many different countries, and have ended up learning different styles from different corners of the world.’ But to fully understand why it is that the city has this culture that is so full of vigour, we may have to look back at Bristol’s history. Part of the vibrancy may be owed to its status as a port, however regrettable the nature of this

status was. Robert Wyatt, who was born in the city, agrees with this assessment, pointing out that ‘ports which were once important magnets for world trade often became the most lively and adventurous places for subsequent cultural activity’, citing Liverpool,

I think we prefer to do our experimentation in private

Cardiff and London as examples. But this does not completely reveal what is specifically unique to Bristol. Local legend Mark Stewart (interviewed in this issue of Epigram) of post-punk icons The Pop Group illuminates further on the subject. ‘Bristol has always been such a bizarre melting pot, and it’s small enough that everybody just has to get on. In Bristol, I didn’t see race, class or gender politics, really.’ The true nature of this spirit may be difficult for us to ever

fully understand, suggests Gaya. ‘Whether it’s because of culture or for more cosmic reasons, I don’t know.’ Whatever the case, Zun Zun Egui are a wonderful manifestation of the sound of the city. Currently back due to an unfortunately cancelled US tour, the band excitedly awaits the opportunity to tour stateside, currently back in Bristol writing material, hinting at a hometown show in the near future. It’s difficult to tell exactly what their next move will be, and the band play their cards close to their chest. But their genuine excitement is clear, both in their discussion and in their music, and whatever their next move may be, you can be sure they’ll be looking forward.

‘Katang’ is available now on Bella Union


Epigram

30.04.2012

24

Record Store Day 2012 Georgina Butler examines the past, present and future of the event The internationally celebrated Record Store Day 2012 saw the fifth celebration of the independent sector with 230 stores taking part in the UK alone. First established in the US in 2007 by, record store employee, Chris Brown, Record Store Day brings together independently owned record stores with labels, artists and fans to celebrate music and campaign to support their local independent. This year over 300 artists released special limited edition vinyls, box sets, re-pressings of classic albums from the Artic Monkeys to ABBA to, erm, Chase and Status. There were also hundreds of in-store performances, DJ sets, meet and greets, special appearances, quizzes, freebies were organised by the stores - there was even an official Record Store Day ale made exclusively for this year’s event. One of the main joys of Record Store Day is its variety, with celebrations different in every shop; Bath Compact Discs celebrated with a 10% discount, a prize crossword, and homemade cakes whereas RPM, Newcastle, had live bands, DJ Sets, a staff mix CD and a free 7” vinyl for each customer. Some shops, such as, Phonica Records in Soho, London, even streamed

their DJ Sets live online. In the 1980s there were more than 2,200 UK independent record shops and by 2009 this number had dropped to 269. The amount of music being sold also plummeted by 47% due to illegal downloads between 1999 and 2009. With the low number of independent record shops, the importance of the day seems obvious, but it was even more so this year following the large amounts of stock for hundreds of independent UK labels and record stores lost in the SONY/PIAS warehouse fire during the London Riots.

cynical. Indeed, despite the reports of a 50% sales increase on last year’s RSD, and some UK stores claiming a complete 100% increase, the online opportunities for money to be made online is huge. For instance this year’s number one RSD best seller, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds was originally selling for £9.99 and is now on eBay for nearly £60. Many of the sought releases such as the hotly anticipated 7” split featuring Mastodon and Feist, that sold out at Rough Trade East before 9.30 am, is now online for four times the price. LPs bought at the one-off joint RSD and Teenage Cancer Trust event, Secret 7”, at the Idea Generation Gallery in

Shoreditch are now bidding at over £125. Even the RSD plastic carrier bags are being sold online. In spite of these worries, RSD ultimately does have long term potential. Many stores are seeing huge jumps in profits attributable to the event, and the increasing popularity of vinyl amongst young people is noteworthy. Moreover, with the first queue starting at Square Records in Dorset at 11am the day before, 12 new independent shops opening since 2009 and vinyl albums reaching a six year high in 2011 (341,000 vinyl albums), it seems that Record Store Day is much more than a manifestation of nostalgia, but a viable hope for independent record stores in the future.

The huge range of special releases means that Record Store Day can be overwhelming. Rishi Modha shares his experience Record Store Day is one filled with many colourful dilemmas, the most literal of which is finding the optimal combination of limited edition vinyl releases to form a recordrainbow. Perhaps not the first problem that springs to mind as being posed by Record Store Day, but if there ever was a time and place for such whimsical purchasing criteria, it was certainly then. I began in the same place as every rainbow acrostic, picking up St Vincent’s vivid red Krokadil/ Grot. This 7” is definitely the highlight of my purchases, being comprised of two tracks which defy simple classification, somehow cohesively meshing together fuzz-laden baroquepop with black metal whilst sound fun rather than forced or awkward.

in Francois & the Atlas Mountains/Slow Club – Gold Mountain/Edge of Town, which arrived on dull black vinyl, though this was more than made up for by the watercolour art adorning Slow Club’s side of the cover sleeve. Rebecca Taylor’s lustrous voice covering Francois and the Atlas Mountains’ ‘Edge of Town’ provides the track with a new melancholic charm brought to life by the glowing sound only a vinyl release can provide. Whereas Francois’ take on Slow Club’s ‘Gold Mountain’ transports the song to more exotic climes, exuding calm and relaxation, with the record overall providing listeners with an audible comfort blanket to wrap up warm inside of.

Lucking out with St Vincent wasn’t a sign of things to come for my iridescent desires, lively hip hop duo Shabazz Palaces’ deep blue Live at KEXP had sold out, as had the very limited violet R U Mine?/Electricity released by the Arctic Monkeys. Dejected, but invigorated by the frenzied excitement induced only by the plethora of records on the shelves before me, I found myself polluting my initial priorities. There were other factors at play, rareness and resale value (useless to a hoarder like myself), as well as the difficult to ignore inimitably pretty artwork displayed on some record sleeves.

My final purchase was implusive and again swayed by artwork alone. Andrew Bird’s 10” The Crown Salesman, featuring a cartoon caricature of the Break It Yourself album cover on its sleeve. B-side ‘Tarrytown Mess’ steals the show with Bird softly purring over gently built percussion pattering, rounded off with obligatory soulful whistling. This purchase revealed itself to be a dark horse, surprising me as I took it out of its sleeve; the vinyl was bright orange. The rainbow dream lives on.

A short-lived search for rare finds yielded no positive results, Sigur Ros’ Ekki Mukk, Laura Marling’s live favourite Flicker and Fail and the Mastodon collaborations with Feist and The Flaming Lips had all scampered from the store long before I arrived. I managed to pick up a premeditated purchase

Record Store Day rankles: Own up, who bought The Vaccines’ exclusive release? And who told Justin Vernon and The Flaming Lips that paying homage to David Bowie via Flight of the Conchords on ‘Ashes in the Air’ (featured on The Flaming Lips’ US-only Record Store Day exclusive double-LP) was a good idea?

Vinyl album sales have reportedly risen by 40% overall this year but RSD acknowledges the challenges faced by local shops, whether it’s tight profit margins or the fact more labels are attempting ‘direct to consumer’ website sales. But while the spirit and good intentions of RSD are admirable, a quick glance at eBay is enough to turn anyone

Early to bed, early to Rise This year is the fifth instalment of Record Store Day overall, and the third celebrated at Bristol’s Rise music shop. At this stage the festivities have grown into a full day of live music, DJing and art displays. On top of that, people start queuing at 4am to get their hands on Record Store Day exclusives which they can then either enjoy at home or shamelessly flog on eBay at extortionate prices to desperate obsessives. This year’s most in-demand records were Kate Bush’s Lake Tahoe picture disc and a Beatles singles collection; arguably the most interesting are the two LPs of sci-fi sound effects by the BBC Radiophonic

How was it for you?

Workshop and the extremely limited Lee Hazelwood anthology – unfortunately neither was left when I arrived. Live events were kicked off by Miles Hunt at 10am, and after lunch the revelry is relaunched by Suzy Condrad, who uses a loopstation and beatboxing to create pleasant, classically influenced electronic pop. Next up is Jim Moray, a musician and producer who focuses on traditional English folk. His set is rather low on music, as he has an irritating habit of spending as much time talking about his songs as playing them. He also likes to explain the songs with stories

beforehand, which seems entirely redundant. The most interesting thing to happen during his set is the arrival of infamous Bristol gig goer Big Jeff, which turns out to be a good omen as Fiction Records take over. This entails a DJ set from The Bees’ multiinstrumentalist Aaron Fletcher and a live set from The Duke Spirit. The latter deliver an impressively energetic, fillerfree, female-fronted rock, and the amount of music they cram into their allotted time is admirably large. They bring to mind Bikini Kill, the Black Keys and My Bloody Valentine, and they’re the highlight of the day. Local band Spectres are also excellent, bringing their experimental pop/rock to life in the confines of Rise’s top floor, which by now is filling up rapidly. They are followed by Buzzards, who are slightly less impressive, and whose derivative alternative rock just sounds like a thousand other bands who also wish it was still 1993. Summer Camp, Epigram favourites and the act I personally was most excited about, unfortunately cancel, but this does allow time for a

beer and a burger between acts at a nearby chain pub. Gravenhurst are up next, and while in some senses they fit the post-rock stereotype very well (their Record Store Day Single was too long to fit on 7” vinyl), they also manage to establish a unique space for themselves. Weston-super-Mare’s Towns are a psychedelic Madchester/ shoegaze outfit, though their debt to the Baggy subgenre doesn’t make them any less tight as a live act. The Fauns close the event with fuzzy, dreamy popgaze with similarities to MBV, Mazzy Star and Curve as well as recent acts like Beach House and M83. It’s lovely, and as the end shimmers into sight it feels like an appropriate way to finish. In a world of declining album sales and high street closures, Rise are offering a wonderful example of the ways record stores can continue to engage with music lovers through hard times. Like Rough Trade and Piccadilly Records, Rise have managed to thrive while bigger retailers like Fopp and Zavvi failed, and it’s arguably because of this willingness to form a strong relationship with the customer. David Biddle


Epigram

30.04.2012

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Making marks on the Bristol music scene Guest columnist Kris Needs speaks to Bristol icon Mark Stewart, taking a look back at his remarkable career Stewart likens to the Jamaican tradition of using studio rhythm tracks for different songs. ‘I’m just using them like as actors in The Archers. Instead of getting like a found voice, I thought like Daddy G’s voice would work.’ The foundations for these collisions, along with Stewart’s political conviction, were laid when he was attending Bristol Grammar School. The enticing mystique of the reggae pre-release scene was one of his earliest influences in the mid-seventies. ‘When we were at school in Bristol,

I’ve got to make something new while also making people aware of the legacy

we’d knock off every Friday and go down to what was Revolver and wait for what we called this van from Zion, containing prereleases from Jazzbo, I-Roy and stuff because we wanted to get the dubs. Four years later I found out it was Adrian Sherwood driving the Jet Star delivery service.’ UK reggae pioneer Sherwood would become a pivotal figure in Stewart’s musical tsunami later but, meanwhile, thunder-struck by the punk revolution, Mark formed the Pop Group in 1978. They debuted the following year with the dismembered J.B. groove skeletons and free jazz squalling of their ’We Are All Prostitutes’ single and Y debut album. ‘The Pop Group were quite political,’ understates Stewart. ‘We were really involved in setting up bases. People wear this stuff like a badge of honour and I was like that with music and still am.

I’m really interested in all those activist groups. Some of them are way up in Hollywood, some on the street, but there’s a certain kind of mindset for me, which grew out of punk and [William] Burroughs and stuff and spread. There’s people like that all over the world. When you travel you meet these people. It’s like punk in England. When we were about 13 or 14 in Bristol, we didn’t know that Bobby [Gillespie] or kids in Sheffield or Manchester were listening to Jobriath and the Dolls. We thought we were just finding it in isolation, you know.’ The Pop Group imploded after 1980’s sophomore For How Much Longer Must We Tolerate Mass Murder? album. Stewart had already hitched up with Adrian Sherwood’s On-U Sound, part of the one-off New Age Steppers collective including members of The Pop Group, Slits and Aswad, going on to form the Maffia, releasing 1983‘s Jerusalem EP and Learning To Cope With Cowardice album. Stewart strove to create funk with socio-punk edge, displaying an ability to hook up with the masters by procuring former Sugarhill house band [and future Tackhead] members bassist Doug Wimbish, guitarist Skip McDonald and drummer Keith LeBlanc for 1985’s As The Veneer Of Democracy Starts To Fade album. That, 1987’s Mark Stewart album and 1990’s Metatron influenced America’s industrial revolution and later trip-hop. Stewart didn’t consciously formulate becoming such an influential figure, crashing on in pursuit of his innately anarchicmuse, showing no qualms goosing more recent UK musical upheavals. ‘Most dubstep kids, like Burial and that, love that

Chiara Meattelli & Dominic Lee

To hail Mark Stewart as godfather of Bristol’s epochal music movements would be too insular a term for this most globally seismic of artists, but any notable underground figure emerging from the city over the last four decades is, to some extent, following in his huge footprints. At a time when many of his post-punk contemporaries seem content with bankable nostalgia, it’s a glaring indication of Stewart’s volcanic creative passion that, nearly 35 years since first appearing with the enraged avant-funk protest of The Pop Group, he can emerge with The Politics Of Envy, one of 2012’s most uncompromisingly cutting edge statements; still railing against social injustice and rampaging through new musical vistas with fellow comrades. The album boasts a stellar supporting cast, including coproducer Youth, Massive Attack’s Daddy G, outsider filmmaker Kenneth Anger [on theremin!, Richard Hell, crackpot reggae legend Lee Perry, Primal Scream, Slits bassist Tessa Pollitt, Crass’s Penny Rimbaud and Raincoats bassist Gina Birch. He has also coaxed Public Image Limited co-founder Keith Levene back to his inimitable metal guitar and original Jesus And Mary Chain member Douglas Hart to his bass, while also working with new bloods such as electronic whiz-kid Kahn, Nik Void and Factory Floor. Rather than a bevy of fleeting hip cameos, these are genuine, in some cases, rare contributions, indicating the respect in which Stewart is held, consequently firing up with natural telepathy. Two years in the making, the album was realised through a lengthy organic process which

stuff me and Adrian were doing. There’s this new generation of Bristol-based future bass. There’s a track called ‘Vanity Kills’, which has got Kenneth Anger and Richard Hell on it. The basis of it is me and this guy called Kahn, who’s like the new generation of Bristol bass after Joker and Pincher.’ Stewart also meshed perfectly with long-time admirers Primal Scream, for years the UK’s most notorious rock ‘n’ roll band who, crucially, never lost sight of their socially-conscious activist side. Their coming together on recent single ‘Autonomia’ sounds like it

was waiting to happen. ‘That Primal Scream track came about because I wanted something noisy.Bobby [Gillespie] is interested in politics and I’d written this song about this kind of autonomist bloke called Carlo Giuliani who was killed at the G8 demonstrations in Genoa.’ The Politics Of Envy can be seen as both rampant consolidation and launch-pad for the next phase of Stewart’s remarkable trajectory [although ‘Stereotype‘ shows he can write the ultimate post-punk anthem over 30 years after the event]. ‘What I’ve got to do with this

record, coming back into the public eye, is keep it with the new while also making people aware of the legacy.’

‘The Politics of Envy’ is available on Future Noise

‘I don’t really have much to complain about’

60 years after the conception of NME, Pippa Shawley talks to current editor and former Bristol student, Krissi Murison Quantifying personal success varies from person to person. For some, it’s how much money they’ earn, for others, it’s an impressive job title, whilst the glow from doing a good job is enough to please the rest. For Krissi Murison, former Bristol student and current editor of NME, it’s ‘[knowing that] the Guardian only writes pissy articles about us a couple of times a year rather than every month now’. Murison worked as music editor of Epigram during her time at university, a position she believes to have been instrumental to her career. After graduating, she quickly moved up the ranks within NME, progressing from junior staff writer to deputy editor in four years. Following a stint in as Nylon’s music director, she returned to NME as editor, following the departure of Conor

McNicholas. McNicholas’s seven year tenure as editor was seen as divisive, boosting readership but criticised for turning NME into a Heat-style gossip magazine for Pete Doherty fans. Murison is admiring of McNicholas, who gave her her first job at the magazine, ‘he had an incredibly strong vision for NME which he

was fearless about pursuing and he championed some brilliant artists’. Despite this, the magazine has seen a return to more in depth articles since Murison took over, something that she has been congratulated for amid claims that print journalism is a dying trade. It is, she believes, this focus

on quality features, that makes NME worth reading, but she is not oblivious to the changing reading habits of the nation. In the last decade, NME has branched out from music magazine to global brand, with NME.com receiving more than 7 million unique views every month. In addition to producing the print magazine, something Murison describes as still being the core of what they do, she wants to exploit the brand’s influence by continuing to produce digital editions of the magazine, and hopes to start digitising NME’s vast archive. ‘NME is 60 years old this year and obviously our history is pretty much an entire history of pop music. So our archive is an incredibly unique resource that I imagine all music fans will want to get their hands on.’ The very NME brand that Murison

is so passionate about has been questioned by some, who say that with websites churning out new music on an hourly basis, NME’s influence over the music industry has waned significantly. Speaking to the Guardian in February about the magazine’s future, the cofounder of Memphis Industries label said that Mojo were now more important to their label than NME. The fact that NME is not considered relevant even within print media must be a concern, especially considering that NME’s very name –the New Music Express, emphasises the importance of new music. Murison says that trying to keep the legacy of this British intuition intact is a huge pressure, but still considers being editor of NME a dream job. ‘There are less private jets and more boardrooms than I’d been led

to believe, [but the experience has been] exhilarating, inspiring and completely unforgettable.’ When Epigram spoke to Murison, she was relaxing by the pool in Palm Springs, California after seeing Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre at Coachella ‘so I really don’t have much to complain about’. Murison’s career continues to go from strength to strength. At the age of 30, she already has a wealth of editorial experience unparalleled by many of her peers, and has managed to garner much acclaim during her tenure as NME’s first female editor. Murison is leaving NME later this year to become The Sunday Times Magazine’s features editor, a role she is excited about, ‘music will always be my first love, but there is a big bad world out there that I’m also ready to explore now’.


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Reviews MASTER OF MY MAKE-BELIEVE DELICACIES Santigold Simian Mobile Disco Atlantic 29 2010 November 23 April 2012 Delicatessen

After a phenomenally successful debut album four years ago, Santigold returns with a new name and an album which features an impressive array of producers; among them Diplo, Nick Zinner and Dave Sitek. Tipped by Jay-Z as no less than ‘a revolution’, Master of My Make-Believe certainly showcases a wide range of influences, nowhere more evident than in the opening track ‘Go’, which yokes Santigold’s playful vocals together with a visceral drum beat surprisingly reminiscent of Suicide. The rest of the album defiantly rejects congruency: there seems to be a clear divide between certain songs which lean more towards the style of her dance-friendly debut Santogold, and slower songs with moving instrumentals such as ‘This Isn’t Our Parade’. This is not necessarily a bad thing, Santigold has managed to sidestep the dichotomy of pursuing musical development while satisfying the needs of club DJs for the party beats of her debut with relative grace: all the songs are, after all, very strong. However, as a whole, the album can feel like a collection of fantastic songs with little in common with each other. ‘The Riots Gone’ is a mellow track which

R.I.P Actress Honest Jon’s 23 Apr 2012 In 2010 Actress launched Splazsh; an incredible, experimental voyage to the outer edges of techno. But if that album was the exploratory probe drifting through space in the hope of breaking new ground, R.I.P is the colonisation mission: slicker, more expensive, more focused. Actress has taken the results of Splazsh’s sound design exercises and used them to create something beautifully coherent. R.I.P is a concept album based around Milton’s Paradise Lost that attacks the borders between techno, ambient, bass and classical music. ‘N.E.W’ has the emotional deep impact of the best Brian Eno work, while ‘Jardin’ sounds almost like some lost Erik Satie piece. ‘Shadow from Tartarus’ is a bowel-bursting assault of noise and bass, the juddering sub frequencies on ‘Tree of Knowledge’ sound like the contractions of a universe’s traumatic birth, and ‘Serpent’ is as wonderfully creepy as you’d expect from a track ostensibly about the Dark Lord himself. Best of all though, is how intuitive this all feels; despite sounding totally alien it’s clear to any listener that every note and dial and knob is in exactly the right place at the right time, all guided there by some omniscient creator. David Biddle

BLUNDERBUSS Jack White Third Man 23 April 2012

sways around a gentle tribal drum beat; three tracks later ‘Look At These Hoes’ comes in, a fast paced club song which is by no means a weak track, but which feels thoroughly uncomfortable alongside the plethora of instruments working in the tracks which surround it. It is a fun song, but would feel more appropriate on a Nicki Minaj album than the largely experimental Master of My Make-Believe. ‘Freak Like Me’ is another impressive club song which suffers from its abrasive situation. Nonetheless, the album is certainly a progression from 2008’s Santogold, it is more ambitious in its scope, and while the songs can feel incongruous at times, they are ultimately a credit to Santigold’s versatility, which her first album only hinted at. Master of My Make-Believe is a collection of interesting songs which can be at times moving and at others highly energetic. Its drawback is that while the conflict between tracks would be less noticeable in another artist, such as MIA who actively pursues it, in Santigold’s music it can at times feel uncomfortable and undermine what is largely an excellent album. Will Jinks

AUFHEBEN The Brian Jonestown Massacre a 30 Apr 2012 Album number thirteen from these eclectic Californians is a much more relaxed piece of work than its predecessors. The overall feeling is very ethereal; a drifting soundscape of reverberated voices, strings and flutes underpinned by a driving rhythm section. The scarcity of any clear lead vocal lines enhances this feeling as there’s nothing that is directly obvious to focus on, allowing your mind to drift through the track. This ‘desert psychedelia’, probably best embodied by the tracks ‘Gaz Hilariant’ and ‘Illuminomi’, is a fascinating listen. The band has a reputation for excessive drug use and internal arguments; the former is fairly evident, but fortunately the latter is not. The many layers of sound draw you in to the surreal world that Anton Newcombe and his band mates inhabit, a world captured in all its grimy detail in the film Dig! Once you get to the end, you’re left wondering where the last 50 minutes have gone, any sense of timing vanishing into this rich mixture of noise. This is an album that will definitely not appeal to everybody, but for the musically curious it is an emotive, engaging listen. Will Tiley

Blunderbuss is the first solo effort from king of lowfi garage revival Jack ‘Is she a) My sister b) My wife or c) Both’ White. It also marks White’s first release since The White Stripes announced their resolution to cease recording under that name in February last year. In fact, given how well known Mr White has become due to his many bands and collaborations with all sorts of stars from the worthy to the deeply suspicious, it seems almost surprising that this is his first solo release. Blunderbuss is in many ways a White Stripes record with some extra trinkets glued on. Or perhaps a Raconteurs album with some of the more useless bits sliced off – but better than either of those sound. Some tracks, first and foremost ‘Sixteen Saltines’ with its fuzzy, Muffed-up guitar and screaming vocals, will sound very familiar to any fan of The White Stripes, while others venture into newer musical territory. Blunderbuss is essentially an album which allows Jack White to incorporate all his influences outside the constraints of a band. There’s a satisfying mix of blues, hillbilly, country and bluegrass influences along with some Chess Records era soul and gospel thrown in for good measure. His cover of Little Willie John’s ‘I’m

THE MONEY STORE Death Grips Columbia 23 Apr 2012 While the world went crazy over Odd Future in 2011, Death Grips’ debut mixtape Exmilitary crawled into consciousness; a collection of songs far more twisted and shocking than any number of homophobic slurs and rape jokes coming from Tyler and his crew. The Money Store, the trio’s first major label release, expands upon their debut’s punk-rap base to create a sonic Molotov cocktail of metal, extreme electronica and synth-pop. MC Ride showcases his versatility, with the paranoid murmur on opener ‘Get Got’ a departure from his usual tortured, guttural screams, whilst elsewhere spitting forth diatribes on homelessness (‘Lost Boys’) and society’s desensitisation to violence (‘I’ve Seen Footage’). The beats on the album, provided by Flatlander and underpinned by Zach Hill’s frenzied drumming, seem built for a dancefloor in an underground bunker from a dystopian future, particularly ‘System Blower’, a dark monolith of a track with throbbing bass and electronic bleeps. While The Money Store may be challenging and at times suffers from too many ideas being thrown together at once, it’s a raw visceral thrill that grips you by the throat and refuses to let go. Sam Jennings

Shakin’’ is unadulterated rock’n’roll, complete with ‘60s gospel-soul backing vocals; ‘Trash Tongue Talker’ sounds like pure Creedence Clearwater Revival, and while some songs, including the title track, might have some vestiges of White Stripes era piano driven ballads like ‘White Moon’ or ‘I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother’s Heart’ the instrumentation and production in Blunderbuss is generally far more adventurous, indulging in some instrumentational luxuries White rarely allowed himself with the White Stripes. Inevitable as it may be, comparing Blunderbuss to Jack White’s work with other bands, be it White Stripes, Raconteurs, Dead Weather or any of the numerous collaborations he’s been involved with recently, is ultimately a waste of time; there will obviously be similarities with all of his other projects (mainly because of his distinctive vocal style and guitar technique which remain uncompromised) but it really shines when evaluated on its own terms. Despite easy comparisons with his varied back-catalogue, Blunderbuss is a thoroughly original album which showcases White’s attributes as both a skilful song-writer and producer. Richard Gillies

FEAR FUN Father John Misty V2 30 Apr 2012 After leaving Fleet Foxes for the ‘gaping maw of obscurity’, J. Tillman’s first album under the moniker Father John Misty is a moreish treat. Combining elements of folk, pop and rockabilly (sometimes within the same song), Fear Fun is a delectable record nicely held together by Tillman’s husky, trembling voice. Jaunty, feet-tapping songs are in no short supply here. ‘I’m Writing A Novel’ is a sprightly number and parodies Tillman’s attempts at finding his ‘narrative voice’. ‘Tee Pees 112’ is a breezy folk song which segues into a shamelessly joyous ditty midway through. Darker songs feature as well, including ‘This is Sally Hatchet’, a solemn number with an extended outro featuring restless strings and a galvanic electric guitar. Perhaps the highlight of the album, ‘Nancy From Now On’, is a florid, mid-tempo pop song featuring cascading pianos and a playful bongo, and not to mention Tillman singing wistfully about dominatrices. The opening words of “Pour me another drink, and punch me in the face” promises to be one of the more memorable lines of the year. Zishen Chong


Film & TV

Epigram

Editor: William Ellis

Deputy Editor: Ant Adeane

filmandtv@epigram.org.uk

deputyfilmandtv@epigram.org.uk

30.04.2012

@epigramfilm

Youth burns bright at Bristol film fest Promising young filmmakers impress Ben Willey with their creativity at the Bristol leg of the British Student Film Festival

The bar was set high for the standard of student filmmaking at the first annual British Student Film Festival. when it came to Bristol earlier this month. The event, which has also visited Newcastle, Liverpool and London, featured over one hundred short films from students in British universities and schools, with some entrants as young as eleven. The idea was for the event to be more inclusive than a traditional film festival and feature as many of the short films entered as possible with a view to encouraging young talent. The set up also departed from the normal large screens of film festivals as the Stokes Croft

venue was in the form of a popup cinema and the presence of a film installation exhibition meant some of the more artistic and visual films were shown here rather than in the cinema. The press screening was held on Tuesday evening and featured a short list of representative films that would be shown during the week. In general, and surprisingly, the films were more technical than story-based, although one which opened the screening, and bucked that trend, was The Phone Box by Ian Robertson from Glasgow University. This was an excellently put together piece about a telephone call that tracks, in five minutes, the

deterioration of a relationship. It was presented in the section Comedies of Manners on the last day of the festival and was definitely one of the highlights, demonstrating a sense of humour that many other entrants ignored in favour of more stylised techniques. Another dialogue-heavy short film, which was also very successful, was the witty Ever Hear A Postman Whistle? by Bexie Bush of the National Film and Television School. This depicted two older people, animated as a pair of comfy armchairs, looking back fondly on the last half century. Again, the injection of humour was wholly successful in this short film format. In

fact, an interesting aspect of the festival was observing what structures were popular in such short films. They generally were of four types: an advertisement of a planned feature length film which was presented like a trailer; a short film in its own right, featuring a beginning, middle and end; a documentary; or a mood piece (which might be in the form of a music video, or have no dialogue). One documentary with a straightforward but effective structure was Beyond The Corner by Callum Murphy of the University of Winchester. This was about two people’s campaigns at Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park, an area famous for open air public speaking. In contrast to a lot of coverage of campaigners at Speaker’s Corner (which has tended to focus on people with extreme views), Beyond the Corner features a woman campaigning for the government to do more for victims of violent crime, and a touching account of a man who has been speaking there for over fifty years.

Some of the animated films in the festival impressed the most. One (The Ark, by John Calder of Stirling University) was a black and white, stylised piece about a greedy baron who discovers the consequences of gluttony by vowing to sample the taste of every animal. This came across as a fantastic, disturbing variation on the children’s classic A Very Hungry Caterpillar, and was a joy to watch. Another (The Man Who Was Afraid Of Falling, by Joseph Wallace of the University of Wales) featured a main character called Ivor who has a series of paranoid reactions after seeing a falling plant pot. Both were so skillfully directed that you forgot you were at a film festival for students when watching them. The highlight of the psychological thrillers was Engaged, which 16 year old Ben Walton made for a piece of media studies coursework. This was an exercise in gradually increasing tension, where a recently engaged women fears she is being watched. Filmed through the stalker’s

eyes, its final scene was better than the vast majority of what you would find in the typical modern horror, and showed great restraint in its spare use of music and natural sounds to create a mood. The most impressive thing about the festival - aside from the precocious talent of the contestants - was the sheer range of genres it covered. Entries were submitted under sections as diverese as Reflections, New Beginning, Abstracts, Music Videos, Contemplations and Blood Lust. But there was also an incentive for producing a high quality of work, and prizes were given out in London under the traditional categories (Best Director, Best Screenplay, etc). The list of high profile judges includes Jonathan Amos (Editor of Peep Show, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World) and the photographer Rankin and indicates the high standrard of all the entrants. Judging by the overall quality of the films on show here, they’ll have a tough job on their hands deciding the winners.

Motion shows its versatlity in a new series of artistic events Lucy Drenzin samples the first in a series of ‘Evenings with...’ at Motion nightclub, and is pleasantly surprised by the results Film culture has slowly become an integral part of our everyday lives. Countless films are released worldwide each month, the majority in competition with one another to break box office records. Nevertheless, however memorable the film, the viewing experience itself can almost never match it. It usually consists of either going to the cinema, where we are charged abnormal amounts of money for ticket and food, or buying the DVD for just as much, if not more. Or we download illegally, which subconsciously must provoke a small feeling of guilt. The now converted skate-park Motion, better known for hosting DJs and revellers, have come up with an ideal alternative for our film-viewing experience. 19th April saw the first of a series of evenings Motion has set up, aptly entitled ‘An Evening With...’, to promote cultural inter-mingling between people in the literary, visual and performance industries. Their first guest was screenwriter Tony Grisoni, a celebrated screenwriter, who has worked on multiple cult and independent films such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

and Brothers of the Head. The evening featured a screening of his 2002 film with director Michael Winterbottom, In This World, a documentary-meetsfiction film about two Afghan boys and their lengthy journey as they are smuggled from the one-million-strong refugee camp in Peshawar to London. From the moment I entered the venue, I was taken aback. An array of chairs and couches had been arranged in slanted rows across the room, with small tables dotted around, free popcorn and an enormous screen propped up on stage. With the open bar in the back and an eclectic playlist blaring through Motion’s sound system, it was a perfect conversion from the usually hectic dance arena. Grisoni equally proved an ideal candidate for the event’s first guest. Following the film was a question and answer session. I am usually disappointed by the guest’s answers at such events, but Grisoni remained engaging and successfully illuminated the film’s context, simultaneously relating it to the art of moviemaking and the ‘parallel journeys’ made by the cast and crew.

He underlined that the film, which won the 2003 Golden Bear prize in Berlin, was based on true stories that he had gathered from smuggled refugees. The world’s view of Afghanistan has greatly shifted in the past ten years, with the Afghans’ attitudes surely changing as the war’s impact

deepens, proving more tragic and endless as it continues. ‘I wish I had more horror stories about our travels,’ Grisoni recounted, ‘but the worst trouble we ever got into was getting our passports revoked by one of the border control authorities and letting them keep Winterbottom’s pen in

exchange for our release.’ It took Winterbottom and Grisoni a month, a full year prior to shooting, to trace a trail for filming. Once the route was clear, Grisoni would travel ahead of his crew by two days and recruit locals for the film. ‘You responded to the reality you found.’ This reality shaped the script, which seems almost entirely improvised, even though it stems from a carefully detailed outline from Grisoni. Grisoni honours this film as a rare experience because he formed friendships with generous and adventurous Afghans. The child actor, Jamal Udin Torabi, a real camp refugee, is the film’s lucky charm. A strong English speaker at age 16, he ‘became sheepish in front of the camera, but off it, he was excited and told stories I could not have written,’ Grisoni admits. The documentary style allows the spectator to simultaneously follow and see the journey. Shots of an interactive world map are made translucent with shots of yet another vehicle that Jamal and his companion, Enayatullah, have to travel in. ‘It felt necessary, as did the narrative every so often to

provide key facts that would allow the drama to coherently progress forward.’ This was also pushed by the soundscape created by Dario Maranelli and edited by Stuart Wilson, which, through Motion’s speakers, could not have sounded more astonishing. It added to the sensation of the boys’ rare opportunity to travel into a world that, for millions, remains unattainable. ‘Through the Internet, these refugees have access to thousands of images of the Western world, but they can’t touch it.’ Admittedly, it is a shame that there were not more people to enjoy this rewarding event. I hope that its success will spread by word of mouth because, thanks to Grisoni’s openness and responses, the film was, for me, transformed from merely a story of smuggling refugees to a profound representation of the inhumanity inherent within the refugee camp. The evening was an affordable opportunity to gain a better insight into an under-appreciated art. And my hat goes off to Motion for proving that it is more versatile than meets the eye. I am sure this will not be the last of their cultural endeavours.


Epigram

30.04.2012

28

Up close and personal with BAFTA duo Ant Adeane catches up with Will Sharpe and Tom Kingsley as they discuss their debut feature, the BAFTA-nominated Black Pond Was it a long process getting Black Pond from script to screen?

go, but you don’t know how it’ll get there. After our main shoot, there was stuff we decided to cut because we didn’t think it worked. And what we were left with didn’t flow as a cohesive ‘piece’. So we tried to work out how to make the film complete. Eventually we decided that the simplest approach would be to interview the main actors in character about the events of the film. We re-watched District 9 around the time of editing and I think that reassured us that, so long as you’re telling a good story, it doesn’t matter how you tell it. What we ended up with was quite unexpected in a way. But it’s a funny thing because you don’t actually have much control over how a story plays out. You need to have the discipline to throw away the ideas that are bad or unrealistic, but it’s not like you can force yourself to have a good idea. You kind of just have to wait for the ideas to arrive. It’s about getting yourself out the way. It’s a pretty simple plot overall. Something weird happens to a dysfunctional family, courtesy of a sad man.

Was it a steep learning curve to direct your first feature length film considering that much of your experience has been of shorter films and music videos? The learning curve was ridiculously steep, yes. It had to be in a way. We’ve learned an enormous amount and it was never by doing things right; it was by constantly doing things wrong and then trying our best to deal with it. Film making is

basically just problem-solving. The good stuff: that’s kind of separate; that just happens. You can’t force it. You can’t find it. It’s got nothing to do with you. You just have to make sure you don’t get in the way. Making short films and music videos is much easier, but it gives you a great opportunity to experiment and get better and faster at working. The actual filmmaking side of it isn’t much different - it’s the same thought process, it just takes longer! The real test of making a feature film is the stamina. There were so many times that we thought we’d reached the point where we should probably give up. But it was useful that there was two of us because it meant we could spur each other on. Because we didn’t have proper backing, we found ourselves taking on most of the roles ourselves. And although that was a lot of work, it was actually great because it meant we had total creative control. We’ve learnt so much about every part of the process: from grading to marketing to doing the accounts! You can read all the ‘how to’ books in the world and meet for ‘advice’ with the most powerful figures in the business, but the only thing that really teaches you how to make a film is making a film.

really good! We met with them before filming, and talked about the project, and it just became clear that we had similar tastes and ideas and they both had great attitudes. Good actors don’t have egos - they just want to help you make the film be the best it can be. Did the film’s tight budget restrict your creative vision in any way? It can be hard working with a small budget, but in a lot of ways it forced us to be more creative. Restrictions can be helpful. Also the more money you have to make a film, the less creative freedom you have. We think more people will start to make films in this way. A small budget isn’t so much of a handicap any more. Cameras are getting more portable and

more affordable. Software is getting easier to use and, again, more affordable. So, practically speaking, more people can have the tools to make a full length film with very little money. We don’t think the budget affects how good the film is. A good story and characters don’t cost anything. The style and tone of Black Pond is something that was a total accident, but it’s an accident that we’re very proud of. (for Will) If you could redo the filmmaking process, would you choose to act in it as well as direct? Yes. It was just another part of getting the film done. I’ve never really seen the various aspects of filmmaking as different disciplines particularly. Tom and I started out working in

we just try to make the most of them in whatever we do. What’s next for you both? Will you continue working together or do you have individual projects on the horizon? Our next project is an adaptation of Voltaire’s Candide. It’s an epic adventure comedy about happiness. The constraints we faced in Black Pond meant that we had to make very simple and clear artistic choices - and we want to carry that forward and be careful not to forget the things we learned from making Black Pond. Our plan is to work together for the time being, because it’s fun and we’ve developed a way of working over the years that we’re both very comfortable with. But inevitably at some point in the future we’ll pursue our own separate things from time to time. ‘Black Pond’ is available to purchase on DVD now

Did you find it intimidating to direct big names in the world of comedy like Chris Langham and Simon Amstell? We didn’t find it intimidating, no. We wanted to do our best, but that’s the same whoever you’re working with. If anything it was quite easy because they’re

Tom Kingsley

The film was all scripted apart from the talking heads, which were improvised, but the film as a whole did change a lot during editing. The original script was more linear, and we later rearranged it so that the ending is basically explained right at the start of the film. We thought that created more tension - because you know where everything’s going to

Given the amount of improvisation from the actors, how much did the end result differ from your original idea?

We think more people will start to make films in this way. A small budget isn’t so much of a handicap any more Sophie di Martino

We began writing in January 2010, filmed for three weeks in August that year and finished editing in February 2011. But since then we’ve been working to organise the cinema and DVD release - and the DVD’s only just come out! We were used to working together already, because we directed lots of plays and comedy shows together when we met at university nearly eight years ago, in 2004. Tom then worked his way up to working as a director of music videos and commercials and Will started getting work as an actor and writer, but we always knew we wanted to make films. A couple of years ago, we went to Japan to make a half hour short film called Cockroach. The idea was to use what we had learned from our day jobs to see what happened if we tried to make a film. No crew. No lights. No anything really. Just a script, a reflector board and a prosumer camera. So having done that and edited it together, we thought the next step would be to try to make a feature. The script was written knowing that we wouldn’t have much money to make it. So we confined the story to a couple of houses and some woods places that are basically free to film in. We had a crew of four, which is unusually small. We used a wheelchair instead of a dolly. We had good prime lenses but no zoom, so we were forced into shooting in a particular way. But restrictions are always helpful. Apart from the dub, we did all the post ourselves. A lot of the time we had to learn as we did it. Basically we just did most of the jobs ourselves and had a very generous and hardworking cast and crew. The film was edited on our laptops, and we’d been living like students for a couple of years, putting everything we’d earned from our day jobs into making the film.

comedy and I would always be in the shows we directed together, so I guess it’s never seemed weird to us. I kind of think of it a bit like when you’re in a band. You write the songs. And then, if there’s an instrument in the song that you can play, you perform it. And if there are other instruments that you can’t play, then you get other people in to perform it with you. Tom and I between us have a wide range of skills and


Epigram

30.04.2012

29 29

Fishy flop fails to find the best angle Director: Lasse Hallström Starring: Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt

McGregor and Blunt have the on-screen chemistry of a wet fish

fishingintheyemen.com

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is a film that’s pretty hard to swallow. The script is adapted from Paul Torday’s novel of the same name by Simon Beaufoy, the pen behind The Full Monty, and more recently, the Oscarwinning Slumdog Millionaire and highly acclaimed 127 Hours. However, Beaufoy’s script is taken on by Swedish director Lasse Hallström, who has previously directed fluffy films such as Chocolat and Dear John (and, interestingly, most of ABBA’s music videos). It is a strange combination of artistic talent, and this shows on screen. Ewan McGregor plays Fred Jones, a suburban fisheries expert, who unwillingly joins forces with posh city girl Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Emily Blunt), a representative of a very rich Yemeni Sheik who has a mad desire to introduce salmon fishing into the Yemen. This is all backed by the government’s

between the Prime Minister and his Press Secretary in text speak, complete with smilies and profanities – however, the film’s focus is very much on McGregor and Blunt’s fishy friendship, with a bit of satire thrown in for good measure. The film’s main weakness lies in its descent from witty satire into romantic non-comedy. The film starts off well, but over its course comedy is somewhat

SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN

ruthless Press Secretary (Kristin Scott Thomas) who is on a mission to find a story that will detract from the negative press about troops in Afghanistan. As Jones and ChetwodeTalbot embark upon the project together the unlikely pair, fuelled by the romantic landscapes of the Sheik’s castle in the Scottish highlands and the rolling deserts of Yemen, fall for each other – hook, line and sinker. Or that, I think, is the idea. As it is, the lovers are not so much biting each other’s bait as gnawing tentatively. Although the relationship gets off to a playfully turbulent start, with much bickering and some amusing quips from McGregor, who plays an indignant academic rather brilliantly, as the pair begin to realise that they belong together, the relationship turns tepid. By the end of the film McGregor and Blunt have the on screen chemistry of a wet fish. This might be forgiven, perhaps, if the film’s comedy value took a front seat. Sadly, however, this is not the case. There are some nuggets of humour – my favourite, the instant messaging conversations that take place

exchanged for drama, and by the end the viewer feels close to drowning in sentimental trite. Personally, I blame the sheik (Amr Waked) who delivers some truly mawkish lines, and even tries to draw a tenuous link between fishing and religion, toasting ‘to faith and fish’. Unfortunately, this becomes a running theme in the film from thereon in. Even sceptical scientist Fred gets caught up in the Sheik’s sentimentalising, pensively declaring that he has

‘always belonged in the Yemen’, and even naming his flies (his bait for fishing, not his trouser zipper) after his new love. A source of relief among all this is Scott Thomas’s portrayal of Patricia Maxwell, Press Secretary to the Prime Minister. Determined to get a good photo to warm up AngloArab relations, she mercilessly oversees the plan to transport thousands of salmon into the Yemen – a nearly impossible feat. Scott Thomas is the perfect bully, giving the film some real bite, although she is not on screen enough to counterbalance the sheik’s sickly worldviews. Salmon Fishing makes for easy viewing, but you may come away wondering what exactly the film was about. A mix of Western politics, MiddleEastern relations, a budding romance, and an assassination sub-plot (definitely one of the most bizarre parts of the film) is a lot to handle, and the film does not quite deliver. It might have its funny moments – Scott Thomas’s performance is one worth watching – but for the most part, Salmon Fishing probably won’t have viewers hooked. Emily Fitzgerald

Penn does it again A feast for the eyes THIS MUST BE THE PLACE Director: Paolo Sorrentino Starring: Sean Penn, Frances McDormand

drama into a road movie at an enjoyably lethargic pace. In places the film is sublime and shot like a dream, as Sorrentino captures the open landscapes on the road. The film is studded with funny moments and random occurrences. I wasn’t sure if an overweight man dressed as Batman walks past Cheyenne at one point (without explanation), until the ending when Batman is duly credited. The dreamlike nature of the film is also its drawback. Whilst the scenes seamlessly shift from one to the next, characters come and go too often, and Cheyenne remains the only constant one, although he proves to be very good company. Once in interview, David Byrne said about his song: it’s ‘a love song made up almost completely of non sequiturs, phrases that may have a strong emotional resonance but don’t have any narrative qualities. It’s a real honest kind of love song’. Sorrentino seems to have modelled his film on precisely the same premise: non sequiturs, strong emotional resonance, without much emphasis on narrative, and centred around an honest (yet spectacular) performance from Penn. For all its flaws, this is a triumph of art house cinema Ben Springett

THE HUNGER GAMES Director: Gary Ross Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth

The Hunger Games: an unusual and cryptic title that produced mixed impressions before I had even seen the trailer. Then I saw the trailer, and realised that the film is about a group of teenagers trying to kill each other. Original at least. However, after watching it my opinion of it rose quite substantially. Particularly reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1984, the inhabitants of the world live in various ‘districts’ and are under the regime of a central organisation called the ‘Capitol’. The Hunger Games themselves are an annual competition where a boy and girl, aged 12 to 18, are selected from each district and forced to compete in a televised battle to the death. Our feisty and capable heroine, Katniss Evergreen (Jennifer Lawrence), volunteers to take the place of her younger sister when she is chosen. Subsequently she undergoes the training, preening and publicity that accompanies the days prior to her entry into the ‘arena’,

thehungergames.com

This Must Be The Place, directed by Paolo Sorrentino and starring Sean Penn, delivers on cinematography, character dialogue and musical score but ultimately fails in cohesively bringing together its disparate parts into a coherent whole. Although there are enough engaging moments to hold your attention for the entire duration of the film, you may just be left dissatisfied with the ending. Sean Penn plays Cheyenne, a 50-something rock star living off his musical royalties in Dublin, with the temperament of a shy child. Although his musical career has been over for years, he continues to dress up as a Goth in day to day life. But this isn’t just Sean Penn in make-up, trespassing on Johnny Depp’s territory; as a character, Cheyenne really is believable, and his actions and motivations are fascinating to watch. His mostly quiet demeanour contrasts with his occasionally more explosive, volatile moments. The viewer

will become increasingly comfortable with Cheyenne as the film progresses. For all the alleged morbid darkness of the lead character, this is a colourful film and Cheyenne is always surrounded by other bright and bizarre characters. In the first part of the film we find out that he is happily married to Jane (Frances McDormand). The depressive lyrics of his old band drove two fans to suicide, and, despite his working marriage, he is racked with guilt. In one scene, wrapped in his duvet, he tells his wife, ‘I think I’m a tad depressed’. It’s not easy to pin down the genre of this film, which is named after The Talking Heads’ song ‘This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody)’ from 1983. The leader of that band, David Byrne, contributes to most of the music in the film, as do a fictional band, brilliantly named The Pieces of Shit. Throughout, the music combines with the scenery around it to create a hypnotic allure to Cheyenne’s world, reinforced by the subtleties of Penn’s acting. Cheyenne finds out that his father had spent the remainder of his life trying to track down a Nazi in America who persecuted him during the war. Deciding to take on his father’s task and find his tormentor, the film then turns from a comedy-

with the hope of winning over the public and potential sponsors that could send in vital resources. Inside the arena, competitors are clearly divided into ‘evil and good’; whilst some form a deadly gang and appear to enjoy the prospect of murdering their peers, Katniss maintains some morality and only reciprocates actions towards her, with many great moments of retribution that I took particular delight in. There are a few touching moments throughout the film to lighten the mood a little; the relationships Katniss forms with Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) and Rue (Amandla Stenberg) are lovely to watch and if you’re particularly soppy like myself the scenes surrounding Rue’s death are brilliant tear-jerkers.

The film concludes with the viewer left wondering what will happen after the Games: will Katniss return to Gale (Liam Hemsworth) or does she really love Peeta? What happens in the next Hunger Games? As is the current trend in Hollywood productions, this film’s purpose seems to have been to introduce the inevitable sequel, and, as there are another two books following the one this film was based on, I’m sure fans will not be disappointed. Overall, a good watch more suited to female tastes (too much romance for your average bloke) although some will be critical that the storyline is too predictable. Going in expecting little, I was pleasantly surprised. Jenny Garbutt


Epigram

30.04.2012

Science

Editor: Nick Cork

Deputy Editor: Emma Sackville

science@epigram.org.uk

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Bristol research targets childhood obesity Nick Cork Science Editor Affordable air travel and social media may have made the world seem smaller, but conveniences in the developed world have left people living there much bigger. Developing regions share the burden – nations in South America and sub-Saharan Africa have seen sections of their populations balloon as they become more affluent, even while the same countries host peoples wracked by famine. The World Health Organisation has labelled obesity a ‘global epidemic’, with 1.2 billion individuals worldwide estimated to be overweight. Amongst UK children, aged between 2 and 15, the most recent data suggest that 17% of boys and 15% of girls are now considered obese. This isn’t simply a cosmetic issue. Obesity in childhood has immediate and long-term health implications, including the development of high blood pressure, type II diabetes, mental health concerns, heart disease, arthritis and numerous cancers. It is often not possible to identify

an obese child by eye. Clinicians must calculate the Body Mass Index (BMI), dividing the child’s weight by their height squared and charting their growth over time. UK charts are produced by the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and lay out a healthy, desirable pattern of growth in terms of a child’s height and age. A BMI within the top 5% of children in this distribution classifies the child as obese. Obesity is essentially the result of an ‘energy imbalance’ caused by consuming more fuel than the body needs, or through insufficient exercise, leading to the excess energy being stored as additional weight. A number of risk factors have emerged for developing obesity as a child. Parental BMI is known to be important, with an increased risk

in households with at least one overweight biological parent. Socioeconomic background also appears significant. The 2010 Health Survey for England divided household income into five strata,revealing that children in the highest income group had

70% of UK girls and 55% of UK boys could be overweight or obese by 2050

the lowest risk of obesity and vice versa. The 2007 Foresight Report predicted that 70% of UK girls and 55% of UK boys could be overweight or obese by 2050. So how are health professionals in Bristol responding to the country’s obesity epidemic? Julian Hamilton-Shield,

Professor in Diabetes and Metabolic Endocrinology at the University of Bristol, set up his innovative Care Of Childhood Obesity (COCO) clinic at the Bristol Royal Infirmary in1999 and has been running it ever since. His three-person team, also comprising a dietician and an exercise specialist, offers a stepwise weight management programme spread over 18-24 months – 83% of children show an improvement in their BMI score after this period. Clinic appointments in the first six months focus on healthy eating and increasing the child’s level of physical activity. If this proves ineffective families are provided with a prescribed diet plan to regulate calorie intake, again combined with sustained exercise. After 12 months an unchanged or raised BMI earns

a calorie-restricted diet, with the possible addition of Orlistat – the only anti-obesity drug currently licensed in the UK, which works by preventing the absorption of dietary fats. In the most extreme, life-threatening cases, bariatric surgery – ‘stomach stapling’ – remains a rarely explored option. The COCO clinic focuses on retaining its patients, pursuing parents to book subsequent appointments over the phone – for some children this is the last chance to reverse their progressive weight gain. Professor Shield is also unforgiving with parents who refuse to adopt the changes desperately needed by their children. Only recently the family of a profoundly overweight child was referred to social services on charges of neglect, for persistently

failing to attend pre-arranged appointments. The COCO clinic, for its successes, cannot singlehandedly mount the response that the national challenge demands. Policy makers should therefore be encouraged by a promising pilot study, published this year in the British Journal of General Practice, suggesting that the COCO model sustains its results when transferred from hospital to a GP setting. Two clinics, led by specially trained practice-nurses, were able to manage the successful treatment of obese children in 80% of cases – comparable with Professor Shield’s results and far better than time-pressured GPs have ever achieved. Public health crises of this magnitude require a coordinated response at the level of government – financial incentives and taxation to tip food sales in favour of healthy produce, and transport solutions to promote walking and cycling over travel by car or bus. For UK children who are at immediate risk though, the services developed here in Bristol might still offer a way to avoid Foresight’s dystopian predictions.

My brush with the fingerprint collectors surface. Iodine is highly reactive – in its presence the same oil deposits turn a yellow-brown colour. A further approach is to apply silver nitrate – AgNO3 – to the suspected area. This reacts with the salt naturally excreted in sweat to produce a

Edith Penty Geraets Science Online Editor

8.3 million

observable ridge types exist, the combination of different heights, widths, lengths and joining points yields a vast number of potential patterns. Also known as dactylography, fingerprinting is certainly not a new technique – its use has been documented in 1750 BC Babylonia as a means of signing an individual’s identity on clay tablets. Scotland Yard founded its first Fingerprint Bureau in 1901, shortly followed by the

Identification Division within the FBI in 1924. The practice remains a cornerstone of modern criminal investigations – millions of criminal records can now be simultaneously checked electronically and cross-referenced against prior offenders. The National Policing Improvement Agency (NPIA) in the UK, as of April 2010, held the fingerprints of 8.3 million individuals. 38,179 matches were made at crime scenes over

Flickr: Jack Spades

West Midlands Police

As a victim of the string of burglaries that took place in the local area last term, I received a visit from none other than Crime Scene Investigation (CSI). They arrived with stern faces and several dauntingly large black bags in tow, kitted out with a variety of instruments and dubiously labelled bottles. I was not going to sit in the next room and wait to be offered answers. I watched in fascination as fingerprints invisible to the naked eye, termed ‘latent’ prints, appeared as if from nowhere, quite simply by harnessing a few chemical reactions. Fingerprints are completely unique to the individual. No two similar prints have ever been identified – not even, paradoxically, on identical twins. The skin of the fingertip is composed of multiple layers, some of which form ridges on the surface. Sweat glands, attached to pores along each ridge, release a waterbased oil solution and leave the fingerprint on contact. Though only seven different

a period of 6 months. The simplest chemical method for revealing latent prints is the application of a fine aluminium powder. When brushed on a hard surface the aluminium sticks to oil deposits left by the fingertip and the print can be visualised. Were the surface under investigation porous or uneven though, such as wood or paper, aluminium powder would stick to the textured material and the print would be

lost. In such cases a compound called Ninhydrin is recruited. The molecule reacts with amino acids, the component building blocks of our bodily proteins, to reveal a distinctive purple colour. A more complex method for porous surfaces uses Iodine. When heated this compound becomes gaseous directly from its solid state, a process known by chemists as sublimation, and the vapour is blown over the required

fingerprint records held by UK Police

silver fingerprint residue that is detectable under UV light. CSI exploits fundamental chemistry to gather evidence with the precision necessary to carry a criminal conviction. Their arsenal exploits similarly ingenious techniques to detect common crime scene elements, such as blood – thankfully this wasn’t a feature in our case. The entire process was completed surprisingly rapidly. Although seemingly not as glamorous as its glossy representation on US television, it was heartening to witness the multiple sciencebased strategies available to CSI to bring an investigation to its just resolution.


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30.04.2012

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Under the microscope: the Epigram years Mary Melville identifies ten scientific developments that have profoundly affected how we experience our past, present and future Few could have predicted in the 23 years since Epigram first went to print that we would have successfully synthesised and transplanted human organs, charted over 750 planets outside of our solar system or come to rely on Google as our primary source of information. Scientific discoveries and innovations of the past two decades have changed our lives in previously unimaginable ways. I have selected ten of these innumerable developments, which either subverted the established academic consensus or achieved something we once considered impossible.

Epigram Issue 1 1989

1989 World Wide Web Envisaged NASA

British computer scientist Sir Tim Berners-Lee first proposed a hypertext system in March 1989. What is now known as the Web was first uploaded as a publicly accessible service in 1992 - since then its diverse applications have expanded exponentially.

1990 Hubble Telescope Launch The Hubble telescope was the first optic telescope in orbit around the earth and cost $2 billion to launch. It provides 120 Gigabytes of scientific information every week and has provided over 500,000 images. This solar powered observatory has helped with many advances from estimating the age of the universe to discovering gamma-ray bursts.

1994 Ardi Discovered Flickr: Toni Barros

A nearly complete skeleton of a small female nicknamed ‘Ardi’ was unearthed. It was dated to around four million years ago, a million years before ‘Lucy’ (a similar ancient skeleton). The skeleton’s combination of advanced and primitive characteristics helped illustrate a crucial stage in human evolution, dismissing previous assumptions about when man first stood on two legs.

1997 Dolly The Sheep

Flickr: Tom Purcell

Dolly was the first mammal successfully cloned by scientists. She was cloned from a mammary gland cell using nuclear transfer and named after Dolly Parton. This was the only surviving lamb from 277 attempts and led the way for the cloning of many other mammalian species, including horses and cattle.

1998 Accelerating Universe In 1998 three scientists discovered that the Universe is expanding at an increasing rate. Contrary to previous theories, this confirmed that the universe will expand exponentially and that the density of matter and radiation will decline. There are various theories to explain the concept, mainly focused around dark energy or ‘vacuum energy’.

2001 Human Genome Published An analysis of a working draft of the human genome was published in the science journal Nature. In previous years the genomes of other species had been documented but this was the first time scientists were able to look at all the 20,000 genes in 23 chromosomes that determine our individual characteristics. This government-initiated project took around ten years, costing over £2.5 billion.

2008 Antarctic CO2 Levels

Using air trapped in Antarctic ice cores it was possible to measure CO2 levels over the last 800,000 years. This provided an insight into atmospheric CO2 concentrations over the last two ice ages and showed that, despite transient fluctuations, current levels are 28% higher than at any other point in the last 800,000 years. The evidence is conclusive - human activity is driving climate change. ALSPAC

2009 Creating New Organs

2010 Creation of Synthetic Life Ten years and around $40 million later, the first artificial self-replicating bacterial cell was created. This was achieved by synthetically copying the genome of a bacteria and inserting it into a living cell. The Craig Venter-led program could be the first step in being able to add man-made sequences to genomes that produce useful compounds, such as endogenous vaccines to combat infectious disease.

Flickr: Matt Celeskey

Doctors managed to construct a human trachea and successfully transplant it into a waiting patient. This involved a combination of a biological scaffold and stem cells from the patient’s bone marrow, eliminating the need for subsequent immunosuppressant therapy to counter rejection. Growing personalised organs for those in need of a transplant is no longer a remote possibility.

Epigram Issue 250 2012

2011 Humans vs. Neanderthals Human tools, teeth and bones found in Ukraine indicate that humans inhabited Europe 5000 years earlier than previously thought. Not only did the discovery shed light on their early society, this suggested that humans could have arrived in Europe around 45,000 years ago, during the rein of the Neanderthals. Further evidence that humans were complicit in the extinction of our closest evolutionary cousins.


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Watching a football match isn’t a crime Peter Lloyd, author of a new report on Bubble matches, talks to Epigram about the unfair criminalisation of football supporters The most recent Severnside derby between Bristol and Cardiff City was downgraded from a ‘Bubble’ to a voucher exchange ticketing system. Next year they are hoping to have no restrictions at all for supporters. Do you see this as being the trend in the future: that the amount of Bubble matches will significantly decline, apart from the most extreme cases such as Swansea vs. Cardiff?

David Stone Sport Editor

Why did you decide to research and write this report? Was it personal interest, something you felt aggrieved about or simply an issue that resonated strongly with the work that the Manifesto Club does?

Most football supporters are peace abiding, so why should we all be criminlised beacuse of a minority?

Looking at the games that have been selected as ‘Bubble fixtures’ over the past decade, most of the clubs involved still have a slight element of hooliganism to them. The others are particularly fierce local derbies. Given the way that the British mediasections of the public still respond to any fan violence in the game, and that it’s only a minority of games which are ‘bubbled’ surely it’s a case of ‘being safe rather than sorry’? Most of the clubs involved have had significant problems with hooliganism in the past, particularly in specific fixtures. These incidents have been declining in number for many years but can still occur. There is a principle at stake however, which is that away fans should not be prevented from going to matches independently. The primary objection is that the only way to go to the matches is by bubble transport. No other form of travel is allowed. This seems to be a disproportionate response and highly discriminatory against innocent football supporters. There are fans who would not necessarily feel safe and they should either not go to the matches or go in a voluntary bubble convoy if there is enough demand and enough funds to organise one. They happen in the North East derbies. ‘Being safe rather than sorry’ implies that there are only two courses of action. There is always some element of risk. It just depends on how you perceive and measure that risk.

The media tends to exaggerate it in the case of football matches which are a very safe environment.

Innocent supporters should not have to prove their innocence and be punished if they can’t

You state that that Bubble match travelling is effectively ‘Kettling on wheels’. The use of Kettling was recently ruled to be lawful by British/ EU courts. They said that the police should be allowed to do their job of protecting people and this was the best method of doing so. So rather than trying to challenge it on legal grounds surely it’s up to the fans to prove that there doesn’t need to be bubbling? Up to a point I agree that it

is up to fans to show that there is no need for bubbling and that is part of what the report is about. The description ‘kettling on wheels’ is accurate in that it is almost exactly the same in effect as kettling in demonstrations. It may have been deemed to be legal but just a few years ago it would have been seen as an infringement of the right to demonstrate peacefully because that is exactly how it was used in a number of instances in the London demonstrations. The consequences of being caught in this way were extremely unpleasant and for the most part, I would argue, extremely unfair and against established British tradition and common law. The proof should be the other way round. Innocent supporters should not have to prove their innocence and be punished if they can’t. The authorities should target, as they often

do, known troublemakers and actual incidents of disorder. I would argue that the police are ducking their responsibilities for their own convenience. Would you see the issue of Bubbling as just one part of a larger struggle against the criminalisation of football fans, for example the use of Section 27 and the behaviour of stewards, or as separate issues that should be challenged and removed one at a time? I would very much see it as part of a larger struggle, with football fans regarded as third class citizens in far too many situations, especially in terms of the inconvenience they are regularly subject to as you mention. It is important to highlight any misuse of Section 27 and of overly aggressive stewarding which has been very common.

I count voucher exchanges as bubble matches as there is usually a restriction in freedom of movement involved, and heavy police involvement at the point of exchange of vouchers for tickets, although there are obviously degrees of restriction. I understand that there was a lot more freedom of movement around the Bristol City ground for Cardiff City supporters. Restrictions can lead to more, not less, trouble as the report says.

Kettling is extremely unfair and against established British tradition and common law

I think that the number of bubble matches may well decline, but the hurdles to having any should be much higher. I hope that Bristol City vs Cardiff City matches will be non-bubbles in future and that Swansea City vs Cardiff City will be as well. The focus should be on catching and punishing the guilty, not creating a sanitised zone which tries to take responsibility away from football supporters to behave lawfully in all situations. It’s ducking the obligation to personal responsibility and can make all those in the bubble feel like semi-criminals, outside of society.

Fast facts on Bubbling UK police forces have revealed that n the past decade there have been at least 48 bubble matches involving at least 14 major clubs in England and Wales. Cardiff City were playing in 36 of these games. In the season 2010/11, total match attendance at professional matches in England and Wales was more than 37 million. The total number of arrests was 3089, less than 0.01%

Cardiff City and their fans are hit more by Bubble matches then any other club

Peter Lloyd

When I discovered how restrictive bubble matches were on the freedom to attend a football match and the freedom of movement involved, I wanted to highlight the incidence of them and try to help end the practice in its current form. The work does resonate with the Manifesto Club and you will find a previous blog piece on the subject on their web site.

gibfootballshow.co.uk

Watching football isn’t a crime. A simple enough statement that you would all resonate with. Whether you’re a home supporter going to your local ground round the corner, or an away fan getting up at the crack of dawn to travel half way across the country, it is your right to be able to do this as a normal innocent member of the public. However as Peter Lloyd reveals in his new report ‘Criminalising Football Fans: The Case Against Bubble Matches’, the amount of restrictions placed upon football supporters has only increased over the years, the culmination of this being the Bubble match. For those unaware, ‘Bubbling’ means that away fans are banned from all independent travel when going to a game. Travelling fans are transported on licensed coaches and under police escort, from a designated pick-up point to a designated drop-off point. Peter is well qualified to discuss this issue. He was the chairman of a football supporter’s organisation for five years and is a campaigner for the Manifesto Club, a political group that campaigns against what they call ‘the hyperregulation of everyday life’ by ‘supporting free movement across borders, free expression and free association.’ The report documents 48 cases of Bubbling over the past 10 years, and describes in detail the creation, implementation and impact of Bubble matches. Using information provided by different police forces across the country it reveals that some clubs are penalised vastly more than others. Peter argues that Bubble matches should be abolished, and that the criminalisation of football fans is justly unfair. Epigram Sport spoke to Peter about the report.

Peter Lloyd’s full report on ‘Criminalising Football Fans: The Case Against Bubble Matches’ can be viewed at: http://www.manifestoclub.com/files/mc-bubblematch-briefing-doc-02.pdf


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30.04.2012

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Guest column: The coaching dilemma Ben Lyttleton Former Epigram Editor

It’s a big deal, changing your coach: he is the man who can bring success on the pitch, but also represents your club off it

One thing is obvious when you look at the short-lists some club chief executives make:

they have no idea what they actually want. Think of Aston Villa last summer, whose shortlist contained Martinez and Alex McCleish, two coaches with totally opposing philosophies; Chelsea, if reports are to be believed, are considering both Mourinho and Pep Guardiola for the job next season. Could the two men have more different approaches? What Soccernomics tries to do for these clubs – and, in some cases, federations – is help them work out what it is they actually want. We offer a grading of coaches using a PIP Analysis, which is an acronym based on Performance, Icon Status and PR Skills. The Performance element rates coaches on their ability relative to the conditions under which they are working, specifically salaries. Rather than transfer spend, Kuper and Szymanski calculated that the size of clubs’ total wage-bills gave a much closer indication of where teams should be performing, and those coaches who continually over-achieve in that bracket – among them Sean O’Driscoll and Paul Sturrock – deserve consideration. The Icon Status can be an additional factor, if the coach appointed is a former player who can give that club a short-term lift. Brian Laws, apparently, was appointed Burnley coach because during his interview he reminded the

Flickr: curiouslypersistent

There are less than 40 days to go until Euro 2012 gets under way, and it’s nice to see England adopting a different approach in their preparations for the tournament. At the moment, they have no coach, no confirmed captain and no Wayne Rooney for the first two games. For once, none of the players have said that we are good enough to win it – not yet, at least – and that anything less than winning the final would be a disaster. Chaos and uncertainty are a nice change to our usual over-reaching expectations. As soon as the FA appoints its coach for the tournament, you can expect that man to talk up England’s chances once again. Never mind that the squad is missing Jack Wilshere and has, let’s say, only three top-class players in it: Joe Hart, Ashley Cole and Rooney (save your Steven Gerrard arguments for another day, he’s only played once for England in 18 months). Part of the coach’s job is to make the country feel good about itself, and giving fans the belief that we are better than we are is one way to start. But the FA needs to think very carefully about the man they select to coach the team after Euro 2012. In my work as

a consultant for Soccernomics, a business I set up with Simon Kuper and Professor Stefan Szymanski, who wrote the book of the same name, I am constantly surprised by the decisions clubs make with their coaching appointments. I just hope England don’t make another one this summer. It’s a big deal, changing your coach: he is the man who can bring success on the pitch, but also represents your club off it. That’s why Barcelona chose to overlook Jose Mourinho in 2008, because he admitted that he saw being a provocateur as part of his job. Barcelona didn’t want that stain on their image. Real Madrid, on the other hand, were in no position to complain. There’s also the issue of style of play: would your team sacrifice success for its philosophy, as Arsenal have done under Arsene Wenger and, to a lesser extent, Wigan with Roberto Martinez?

Harry Redknapp is the front-runner for the England job, but is he the best candidate?

chairman he had played 125 games for the club. The PR element is also important: the coach is the mouth-piece for the club, and needs to make not only the players, but also the fans, sponsors and local community feel good about their team. In terms of the search for a national coach, the criteria are somewhat different. The first thing we offer is a benchmarking programme, to determine what the team’s true expectations should be. This is not as simple as looking at Fifa’s world rankings, where England are fifth, but is worked out on factors such as population, wealth and tournament experience (on such analysis, the national team that has over-achieved most is Holland, a country of 16m

which has reached three World Cup finals). We have also calculated the ideal age and experience level for a successful national team coach, and worked out whether teams perform better when their coach is working on a twoyear contract cycle or a fouryear one. Just like players, all coaches have different characteristics, and strengths and weaknesses. Roy Hodgson may be better suited to overseeing England’s transition into St George’s Park, the new football development centre set to open this summer; Harry Redknapp may rid the players of the mental block they have at big tournaments, and get them to enjoy themselves on the pitch. For what it’s worth, I would select Martin O’Neill as England

coach this summer – all his teams suffer a short-term boost after his arrival, and he has an excellent record in knock-out football – while I would advise Chelsea to go for Fabio Capello next season. But next time your club chooses a new coach, think about the qualities they most value in a coach. If only it was as simple as just results. Ben Lyttleton is a freelance journalist who specialises in European football. He was Sport Editor in 1994 and Epigram Editor in 1995 and now writes for The Guardian, the Mail on Sunday, Sports Illustrated, FourFourTwo and The Blizzard, among others, while his work is syndicated in South America and Asia. He also hosts the European Football Show podcast and is co-founder of the Soccernomics consultancy.

Bristol Girls squash opposition in BUCS championships Jenny Sharpe Sports Reporter

Jenny Sharpe

Both Girls teams and their coach, Jethro Binns, can be proud after a strong BUCS performance

against Leeds Metropolitan, who notably have two semiprofessional players in their side. In the spring, Swansea and Nottingham were also subjected to a similar 4-0 battering, which subsequently put the women’s 1sts into the semi-final of the BUCS Championships in Sheffield. The girls comfortably beat UWIC 3-1, and so prepared to face arch-rivals Leeds Met in the final struggle for the BUCS crown. From their past encounter, the girls knew

Jenny Sharpe

With the accolade of being the university’s breadwinner of BUCS points so far, the squash club appear to be moving up in the world. This season has seen the involvement of over 100 social members and the establishment of a thriving intramural league system. The club finished closely behind Leeds Metropolitan to be the

3rd best in the country, with the majority of points coming from the women’s teams. The women’s 1sts put out potentially the strongest team ever this year, helped by the arrival of high performance squad member, Rebecca Quiney. The girls gave UWIC, Birmingham, Oxford, Manchester and Leeds a quality 4-0 thrashing during the winter premier league weekends; their only loss was due to games count back after drawing 2-2

The Bristol and UWE Varsity teams

that every point counted, but despite putting up a fighting performance and drawing 22, they lost 8-6 on games. This highlights the problem of only allowing four players in each of the women’s teams and many feel that BUCS should up it to five, as it is in the men’s. On the upside, our women’s 1sts are now the second best in the country, and seeing as they’ve not technically lost a match this year, it’s definitely something to be proud of. The women’s 2nd team were also on form this year; after finishing 3rd in the Western

1A BUCS league, they beat the 1st teams of King’s College, Southampton and LSE to earn a place in the Trophy Cup final and join the 1st team in Sheffield. The other Trophy Cup finalist was the 1st team of Dundee, who the women’s 2nds had faced in the same final the previous year. This familiarity, however, didn’t do many favours, and in spite of their best efforts, the girls took the silver medal. And it was not only the girls who reached a BUCS final; the men’s 2nds beat Plymouth to go into the final of the

Western Conference Cup, but unfortunately finished runners up after a nail-biting 3-2 defeat against Gloucestershire’s 1st team. Our men’s 1st team have also made their presence known in the premier league, and will remain there next season. So no gold this year, but plenty of BUCS points and yet another sweet Varsity victory. Sadly, this summer will see the loss of some key players, including Olivia Howell and former club captain Emma Custance-Baker, putting the pressure on for next year’s freshers to make the nick.


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30.04.2012

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Prosperous debut season on and off the field for Men’s Lacrosse Seconds Elliot Fry Lacrosse Club Captain

Chris Jacobs Online

It may be unknown to many that lacrosse is one of the fastest growing sports at university level in the UK; fewer still will know that Bristol University’s lacrosse clubs have had remarkable successes, both on and off the field. In a year strewn with highlights, some of the most exceptional achievements have been made by the Men’s Lacrosse 2nd Team in their inaugural season. When I joined the club three years ago, the formation of a second team was a pipe-dream: making it a reality has required a great deal of hard work. After giving our assurances to UBU Sport and Health that we had enough committed members to make the team viable, the relevant decision-makers gave the go-ahead for the team to be entered into BUCS. As the first southern University to enter a competitive second team into

The introduction of the 2nd team has increased the club’s participation and level of competition

a men’s lacrosse league, we had no precedent to point to and were setting the example for others around us to follow. Eyebrows were raised. Concerns were expressed. None of us knew, with any real certainty, what would happen until after

the first few training sessions of term. Luckily, any doubts were quickly dispelled. Far from struggling for players, or simply making up the numbers in competitions populated exclusively by the first teams

Chris Jacobs Online

from neighbouring universities, the Men’s Lacrosse 2nd team have represented Bristol University with distinction. Their captain, Bob Mothershaw, puts their stellar season down to a positive mindset: ‘The ethos instilled in the 2nd team by our coach, members of the 1st team and the players themselves has been truly remarkable. The hard work, determination and perseverance shown by all players has come to exemplify what men’s lacrosse at the University of Bristol represents.’ Given that the vast majority of the team had never played lacrosse before, the beginning of the season was difficult, and the learning curve was steep. After losing their first two games, they then went on a run which saw them finish third in their league and reach the cup final, the latter courtesy of 12-1 and 10-0 victories over UWE and Southampton respectively.

Playing in front of an enthusiastic crowd on Varsity Day, the team battled valiantly, only losing to UWIC’s 1sts in golden goal overtime. The referee commented on a lacrosse forum that this was ‘one of the best games of lacrosse I’ve ever been involved in, either playing or refereeing... It’s a pity one side had to lose.’ UWIC’s captain posted on the same website that the final was ‘amazing to be involved in...and we [UWIC] can’t give enough credit to the guys at Bristol for providing such a match.’ For those who have watched the individual players develop at training throughout the year, the improvement of the team as a whole was staggering. Well-worked goals, big hits and high tempo transitions, this was lacrosse at a level which made everyone involved with the club feel immensely proud. A mention must be made for the work done by Matt Parkes:

a former club captain of the Men’s and Mixed Lacrosse club, he has helped shape a team full of players who are not only talented as individuals, but who have been willing to commit a great deal of time and effort in the pursuit of development and success under his tutelage. Before this season, any beginners joining the men’s club and wanting to play competitively had to face the prospect of breaking into an established team which has ranked in the top eight nationally for the last two years. Bob encapsulates how the creation of the new team has changed the dynamic within the club: ‘The 2nd team has allowed athletes from triathlon to tennis to come together in a sport new to nearly all of them and develop to the point where they are capable of playing for the 1st team at a Premiership level in less than a year.’ Much of the emphasis at the moment on sport within Bristol University is on widening participation: while success at the highest levels should always be commended, it is vitally important, especially in sports such as Men’s Lacrosse where the number of experienced players joining each year is, relatively, very low, to actively encourage and involve any newcomers in competitive games as soon as possible to maintain their interest. The establishment of a strong and successful second team shows the determination of our club to grow the game, something which is pivotal as we seek to consolidate and improve our position amongst the best lacrosse-playing universities in the country.

Cricket Club looking forward despite wet start to year Luke Smith Cricket Club Captain

the 1st XI and 2nd XI versus UWE. These matches will be taking place on Sunday 20 May at The County Ground, home of Gloucestershire CCC and an international venue as recently as last summer. Tickets will be on sale in the coming weeks from UBCC committee members and all Bristol students are encouraged to attend what will be the final matches of the 2012 varsity series. UBCC’s season will round off with the Club’s Cricket Week in mid-June featuring games at Coombe Dingle against MCC, Gloucestershire Gipsies and UBCC Alumni. Then in the last week of June, a squad of 13 are going on an end-of-season tour to Cambridge.

The First XI and their coach Andy Stovold are hoping for a succesful season

Luke Smith

It has been a wet start to the season for the University of Bristol Cricket Club, but spirits have remained high despite many of the season’s early games falling foul of the weather. All three men’s training squads came back to Bristol during the last days of the Easter holidays for a preseason week involving friendly matches, training sessions and social events. UBCC 1st XI had some tough games in prospect, including home fixtures against Cardiff MCCU and Gloucestershire CCC

Academy, but unfortunately these had to be cancelled due to the wet weather. The only fixture that survived the downpours was a trip for the 2nd XI to Cheltenham Cricket Club. Unfortunately Bristol lost against strong opposition but a good workout was had. By the time of going to print, all three men’s teams should have completed three rounds of BUCS fixtures and will hopefully be well placed in their respective leagues, with all three teams pushing for promotion and hoping for progression in the knockout competitions to follow. One of the highlights of the season will undoubtedly be the 20/20 varsity matches for


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30.04.2012

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Bristol Uni Reds set sail to the Worlds

Sailing Club Captain Nick Wilkinson reflects on this season’s many successes following a highly competitive BUCS campaign Nick Wilkinson Sailing Club Captain

We always managed fantastic boat speed but lacked the tactical nous to use it properly

However they were unable to maintain consistency and found themselves in a precarious position at the end of the second day. Despite this, they looked set to win their three races on the Friday morning with helms Henry Forward and Charlie Makepeace looking fast in the conditions. This would have catapulted them back into contention with a place in the quarterfinals. Luck was unfortunately not on their side and the wind dying in the morning meant that they could not seize the opportunity, finishing the event in a respectable 10th place.

The story was quite different for Bristol 2. Everyone loves an underdog and, after sitting at the top of the leader board for most of the second day and with wins against Oxford and eventual winners Southampton, their place in the quarterfinals was secured. Their draw was Southampton and they began the fight in the best of three races against the top team in the country. Phillip Sparks and Poppy Maxwell fought valiantly at the front and were able to secure a win with the skill of Mary Fenton-Jones and James Grant, however, with a 1-1 tie going into the third race, experience prevailed and not even the expert tactical knowledge of Celina Love and Louisa Grijspeerdt could allow Bristol to go through to the semis. Bristol showed what it was capable of at the BUCS/BUSA Yachting Championships, which took place during the Easter break from 1st – 5th April, with 29 teams from universities around the UK. With light winds, the first day consisted of a practice and one full race, in which we placed 7th. The second day saw Bristol proving what they could do. With Phil

Tony Mapplebeck

Team Racing squad, Bristol Reds

BUSA

After an impressive performance winning the BUCS Match Racing Southern Qualifier, three members of Bristol Match Racing team - James Goss, Nicholas Wilkinson and Oliver Sloper - have been selected to attend the International University Match Racing Worlds in Nice in September this year. The team’s next event will be the BUCS/BUSA Match Racing finals on the 28th-29th April. They will have to win this event to prove their team worthy of a GBR entry. As usual, IBM Bristol Sailing attended the BUCS Western qualifiers in full force, this year with four teams. The first competitors breezed through in style, winning the event and losing just one race, and the second team would join them for the finals in Liverpool, having put in a strong performance to come 3rd. With some solid training over the following weeks, both looked in good shape for the BUCS Finals in Liverpool, seeing 32 University teams from the UK and Ireland competing on the

11th April. The first team showed some solid performances over the first two days of the three-day event, beating Cambridge and Bristol 2 with some tremendous manoeuvres from veteran Charlie Poyner and inspirational tactics between crews Katherine Marsden, Immi Palmer and James Duncalfe.

Sparks and Kieran Hayward’s tactical decisions we won the first race of the day, followed by 2nd in the following race. The fourth race of the series had a dramatic event; we accidentally turned on our autopilot whilst heading upwind and shortly stopped and dropped into last place. From there we fought back 6 places to finish 23rd which was our worst result of the event and therefore was discarded. The final race of the day was a long inshore race from the racing location to the entrance to Portsmouth. We finished a respectable 5th place as the upwind nature of the course left little opportunities for overtaking. These results put us comfortably in 4th position, where we remained until the last race of the championships. The following day was a single long offshore race. Following an awful start we were set a long, 7 hour game of catch-up, which we managed rather successfully. A long reach with a strong tide and light wind meant that many boats misjudged the heading needed to round the buoy. We rounded ahead of rivals UWE who always managed fantastic boat speed

Robins celebrate league survival David Stone Sport Editor

what Championship survival means to them and what their hopes for next season are:

Last weekend saw jubilant scenes at Ashton Gate as Bristol City kept their Championship status. In front of a near sellout crowd the Robins secured a convincing 2-0 win over Barnsley, and as the full time whistle went thousands of supporters invaded the pitch, eager to celebrate with their players. Epigram Sport spoke to two long time supporters to find out

RB: ‘I’ve been a City fan for over 50 years, so I’ve seen plenty of relegation fights plus a few promotion parties. After months of gloom, the realization that plummeting back to Division 3 - as I still think of it - and thus just one division above our neighbours, the blue and white Sags, was a real possibility, put fire in the supporters’ bellies. The difference in atmosphere was remarkable and the players

responded. To see and hear us after we’d secured our place for next season, any alien passing through Ashton Gate at the end of our final home game would have thought we’d won the league. And next season? A large number of our players are out of contract, so we’ll probably be watching a very different team come August. As any football fan will tell you, summer is the season when we water and fertilize our hopes. I’ve already started on mine and they’re coming along just fine...’

Jason Brewer: ‘I’ve supported the club for 15 years and think that we saw on Saturday against Barnsley the huge importance of staying up for everyone at the club. We worked so hard to get back into the Championship in 2007, it took us 8 years to get back up last time, and to throw all of that away through one bad season would have been devastating, and so the relief at the final whistle on Saturday was plain to see. My biggest hope next season is that the team show the same bottle and commitment that

but lacked the tactical nous to use it properly. We gained about 20 places and were sitting in 5th until the wind died and we had to anchor to prevent us drifting down past Yarmouth to the Needles.

Hard work and dedication from all the team allowed the season to be an enjoyable and succesful one

All the boats began drifting towards us and anchored next to the same buoy. The race then restarted as the wind filled in from the opposite direction, but we had drifted down tide, putting us back in 20th where we remained until the finish. The fourth and final day of racing provided us with strong winds, during which we had to put one reef in the mainsail and spinnakers were not allowed to be hoisted. We had two races in which we placed 12th and 14th, resulting in us dropping 3 places overall to 7th. This provided us with 10 BUCS points and a rather sour taste in our mouth given our standing throughout

they have shown from the past 6 games on a more regular basis. We have taken 6 points off Southampton and twice drawn with West Ham this year, so we have shown that we are not a bad side, and with 4 or 5 signings to add that extra bit of quality, a play-off push isn’t totally out of the question. But more than anything, let’s just avoid a relegation battle, because I don’t think City fans could take this tension again’ Ben Hawkings: ‘Having supported the club for 16 years, relief is the key word when summing up what it means to stay up. It took 8 years to get back into this league last time

the regatta. We fortunately beat our local rivals, UWE and Bath, along with longstanding rivals Southampton and were thus the top University not located on the South Coast! Bristol had its best BUCS success so far at the BUCS/BUSA Fleet Racing Championships as the top performing University, as Stewart Godwin and James Grant placed 1st and 3rd in the Laser fleet, with Stewart gaining the majority of the bullets. Sarah Butterfield topped the Women’s laser class. Charlie Poyner and Lottie Richardson won the firefly class, putting Bristol top of the leader board ahead of the Plymouth and Exeter in 2nd and 3rd place respectively. Overall, a fantastic year for IBM Bristol Sailing with hard work and dedication from all team members allowed the season to be an enjoyable and successful one. Sailing continues to be one of the most successful sports at Bristol and with the University sailing season coming to a close and a strong pre-season training program in place, next year looks set to be even better. Thanks to IBM and J.P. Morgan for their continued support.

we dropped down. League One is always going to be hard to get back out of, and none of us wanted to be back in that position again. Saturday showed what it meant to us fans, with a sell-out vs. Coventry and other full houses against West Ham and Barnsley. Next season I think there needs to be a big rebuild of the squad, we need to get a good pre-season underneath us, and instill some more confidence in the players. I don’t think that the Play-Offs are that unrealistic for the club. Good investment in players from the board, and a continued fan support could well see us on the edge of the promised land.’


Epigram

30.04.2012

Sport

Editor: David Stone

Deputy Editor: Paddy von Behr

sport@epigram.org.uk

deputysport@epigram.org.uk

@epigramsport

BUCS Gold for Men’s Water Polo Fergus Andrew UBSWPC President Arguably one of the least recognised teams on campus, Men’s Water Polo have undoubtedly earned themselves a place in Bristol University’s Sporting Hall of Fame following their success in the pool this year. After reaching their tenth BUCS Championship Finals in eleven years, the team stormed their way through their final matches to be crowned the 2012 BUCS Champions. A team that were awarded the silver medal in 2011, despite being undefeated and losing out on gold only on account of goal difference, this year they cemented their status at the top of university Water Polo. However, as with all great title runs, the season wasn’t without its drama. Following the bitter disappointment of the 2011 BUCS Finals, the season was started with one clear goal: gold. A rigorous winter of training provided a good basis from which potential could be achieved. The team were eager to make amends for the previous year and were granted their first opportunity to do so at BUCS First Round. Bristol dispatched Plymouth, Southampton and Birmingham, conceding only four goals in all three games. The team were also able to go on a training tour to Serbia, the home of modern Water Polo. Despite the arctic conditions and national electricity crisis, the team gained invaluable experience in their six games against Becej, a Second Division Serbian National League side. On the weekend of February 25-26th, Leeds played host to

the Semi-Finals and the opening game offered Bristol its first chance to present its challenge to the 2011 Champions, Manchester. The first two quarters proved to be the closely fought game which everyone expected, with Bristol only trailing by one goal to Manchester’s two. However, the following two quarters proved to be a different story as Bristol’s renowned structure fell apart and lost 9-2. Two victories were then required against strong Cambridge and Durham sides to guarantee qualification to the Finals. With their confidence disturbed by this swift reality check, the team showed resilience to return to their familiar style of play and secure their place in the Finals, with good wins in their last two games of the weekend. Two weeks later, the Finals were held at Ponds Forge in Sheffield and knowing that three wins would see them lift

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the trophy, Bristol headed up to fulfil their season-long goal. Due to the nature of the draw, Bristol faced their main rivals, Manchester, in their opening game. Given the results of the Semi-Finals, all expectations were firmly placed on the defending champions and Bristol went into the match quietly content at being the underdogs. The opening quarters shaped up very similarly to their first meeting, with very little separating the two teams. Yet, Bristol refused to falter and make the same mistakes of the Semi-Finals, and this time they imposed their game on the Mancunians. Captain Taka Ota led by example, ensuring that Bristol’s customary defensive foundation was in place to provide the platform for its devastating counterattacks. There were impressive performances from the likes of Kieran Whittle, who made his presence felt by slamming

home some excellent goals from the pit, and George Mack, who showed great maturity in the water despite being a fresher. Manchester’s attack became frustrated, only making them more vulnerable to Bristol’s clinical finishing. Charlie Harbot was devastating on the left wing, while Joel Thomas, who ended the weekend as the Championship’s Top Goal Scorer, was putting them away for fun. The final score was 14-6 to Bristol. At the risk of prematurely putting the gold medals round their necks, the team were wellaware that they still had two more games against Edinburgh and Loughborough to win before they would become BUCS Champions. They approached these with the same attitude they had against Manchester and the results naturally took care of themselves. Goalkeeper Elliot Murphy was making

terrific saves, while Tom Woolf’s distribution from the right wing was superb, snapping up any opportunity for a counter. Likewise, Andy Crawford and Mike Garland proved solid in both attack and defence, which allowed the chance for players such as Jack Holt and Fergus Andrew to make notable performances. Edinburgh were brushed aside 15-4 and now just one victory was required for the gold medal. A physically strong side, Loughborough initially frustrated Bristol with their agricultural style of play. However, Bristol kept their strict discipline and weren’t lulled into dropping the gameplay that had made them so successful. In the fourth quarter, their patience was rewarded and their class shone through as they ran away with the game, winning 13-7. As the hooter went, sounding the end of the match and the Championship, the realisation of what this signified set in for everyone involved. Bristol had achieved their goal, they had made amends for the disappointment of 2011 and can now proudly declare themselves best university team in the country, an outstanding achievement that all of the University should be involved in celebrating. For many of the players, this wasn’t just an accumulation of the hard work made in the last academic year, but the hard work made throughout their time at the university. This truly is a testament to the dedication they have shown to the coach, Mark Taylor, who has been a key factor in the years of success Men’s Water Polo has enjoyed, and the dedication they have shown to one another as a team.

Inside Sport Following a successful season for the Sailing Club, several of its members are off to compete at international level. Club captain Nick Wilkinson recalls some of the year’s major highlights. Despite a disappointing campaign, Bristol City have secured their survival in the Championship. Epigram Sport spoke to some long-term fans of the city’s premier football club about their season.

Page 35 Men’s Lacrosse 2nds are Bristol’s newest BUCS team and have made an impressive debut. Elliot Fry lauds the progress made by the club this year. Inclement weather has interrupted UBCC’s preparations, but captain Luke Smith is determined to get the season off to an impressive start.

Page 34 Former Epigram Editor Ben Lyttleton looks at the flawed hiring process in modern football and what it means to the England job. The squash club are Bristol’s highest BUCS point scorers this year. Jenny Sharpe picks apart some of the year’s highlights and the club’s key players.

Page 33

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