Issue 254

Conspiracy theories

page 9

No more tears

Jewish Mum of the Year

page 14

page 29 Issue 252

Issue 254

Monday 5th November 2012 www.epigram.org.uk Bristol University’s Independent Student Newspaper

Timetabling problems cause havoc for students Katharine Barney News Reporter Students in departments across the University have faced ongoing timetable clashes and changes throughout the first few weeks of term with the School of Modern Languages suffering the most.

Many found that units were still missing during the third week of term, leading to much confusion and anger as students were unable to attend all of their lectures.

Students in the School of Modern Languages were warned prior to

Week 0 that: ‘Due to technical issues, timetables will be ready to view from Week 0.’ Most students found that this was not the case, and a series of emails followed which explained that these technical issues remained unresolved.

Robert Vilain, Head of the School of Modern Languages, said that as he understood it, the issue was not specific to Modern Languages and that other departments had also had technical difficulties.

A second year French student told Epigram that she still had units lacking from her timetable and stated that she felt the Modern

Languages department was ‘assuming no responsibility.’

Problems ranged from unresolved clashes within the same module, doubling up of classes and entire units missing from timetables.

Robert Vilain also said: ‘I would like to stress again how hard academic and administrative staff worked - from August on - to try to solve the problems that arose, and how frustrating it was for staff as well as students to find that problems identified, addressed and apparently solved then suddenly resurfaced.’

Problems for some students are ongoing and seminars are still

being rescheduled. However, Robert Vilian added that ‘the University is conducting a review of timetabling with a brief to make sure the problems don’t happen again’.

Students have received emails from senior members of the University, apologising for the problems. Undergraduates and staff members of the Faculties of Arts, Medical and Veterinary Sciences and Science received an email from Professor David Clarke, Deputy ViceChancellor to further apologise and reassure the student body that measures are being taken to prevent this happening again.

Inside e2 Living’s guide to the opposite sex

Hidden in Plain Sight photoshoot

Bertie Gregory

Travel’s Hidden treasures of Kashmir

Do dolphins deserve human rights? Epigram Science investigates

Page15 >>

Epigram

05.11.2012

News

Editor: Jemma Buckley

Deputy Editor: Zaki Dogliani

Deputy Editor: Josephine McConville

news@epigram.org.uk

zdogliani@epigram.org.uk

jmcconville@epigram.org.uk

Editorial team Editor

Style Editor

Pippa Shawley

Lizi Woolgar

editor@epigram.org.uk

style@epigram.org.uk

Deputy Editors

Deputy Style Editor

Patrick Baker

Anisha Gupta

patrick@epigram.org.uk

deputystyle@epigram.org.uk

Imogen Rowley

Arts Editor

imogen@epigram.org.uk

Rosemary Wagg

e2 Editor

arts@epigram.org.uk

Ant Adeane

Deputy Arts Editor

e2@epigram.org.uk

Rachel Schraer

News Editor

deputyarts@epigram.org.uk

Jemma Buckley

Music Editor

news@epigram.org.uk

Eliot Brammer

Deputy News Editors

music@epigram.org.uk

Zaki Dogliani

Editorial Remembering to remember In this issue, Epigram’s Comment editor, Joe

but an important source of income for the Royal

Kavanagh, asks when is the right time to start

British Legion. Although the generation who

wearing a Royal British Legion remembrance

were entrenched in Flander’s poppy fields has

poppy (Comment, page 13). Whilst some, such

died out, the Legion still works hard today to

Deputy Music Editor

as Bruno from Guildford, may spend their time

support those affected by war. Today the Legion

zdogliani@epigram.org.uk

Phil Gwyn

squabbling about whether it is ostentatious to

is the UK’s leading armed forces charity, offering

Josephine McConville

deputymusic@epigram.org.uk

start wearing a poppy in October, others, such

practical, emotional and financial support to

jmcconville@epigram.org.uk

FIlm & TV Editor

as the left wing journalist Laurie Penny, wonder

members of the armed forces, past and present,

Features Editor

Jasper Jolly

Nahema Marchal

whether we should wear the poppy at all. The

and their families.

filmandtv@epigram.org.uk

features@epigram.org.uk

Deputy Film & TV Editor

Deputy Features Editor

Kate Samuelson

Helena Blackstone

wearing of a poppy, Penny wrote in the New

Just under 100 years ago, people our age were

Statesman in 2010, is ‘tainted with hypocrisy’,

dying in their thousands in the muddy battlefields

deputyfilmandtv@epigram.org.uk

especially when worn by public officials who

of the Western Front and the heat of Gallipoli. We

deputyfeatures@epigram.org.uk

Science & Technology Editor

willingly send our armed forces off to Kandahar.

are lucky that we have not been called upon to

Comment Editor

Mary Melville

The general public, however, recognise that the

make the same sacrifice, but it is important to

Joe Kavanagh

science@epigram.org.uk

poppy is not only a symbol of remembrance

remember those who did.

comment@epigram.org.uk

Sport Editor

Deputy Comment Editor

David Stone

Nat Meyers

sport@epigram.org.uk

deputycomment@epigram.co.uk

Deputy Sport Editor

Letters Editor

Laura Lambert

Lucy De Greeff

deputysport@epigram.org.uk

letters@epigram.org.uk

Proof Readers

Living Editor

Alice Gleeson Rupert Hill Sam Fishwick Izzy Obeng Edith Penty Gereats Rachel Hosie Rishi Modha

Imogen Hope Carter living@epigram.org.uk Deputy Living Editor Josephine Franks jfranks@epigram.org.uk

Cover photography by Bertie Gregory www.bertiegregoryphotography.com

Meetings News:

The White Bear, 12.15pm, 5th Nov

Features:

The Refectory, 1.15pm, Nov 15th

Comment: The White Bear, 1.30 pm, Nov 5th Science & The White Bear, 1.15pm, Nov 6th Tech: Living:

The White Bear, 1.15pm, Nov 6th

Travel:

The Refectory, 1.15pm, Nov 5th

Style:

The White Bear, 1.15pm, Nov 7th

Arts:

The Hawthornes, 1.15pm, Nov 14th

Music:

The Highbury Vaults, 7pm, Nov 13th

Film & TV:

The White Bear, 1.15pm, Nov 13th

Sport:

The Refectory, 5pm, Nov 6th

In this period of financial unrest, where the provision of benefits and healthcare are constantly under threat, families and individuals increasingly depend on the generosity of strangers to help them through difficult times. Whether you choose to wear a poppy or not, remember to put some money in the box this November.

Mona Tabbara mtabbara@epigram.org.uk Travel Editor Alicia Queiro

Alex Bradbrook deputytravel@epigram.org.uk

Deputy Travel Editor

Epigram is the independent student newspaper of the University of Bristol. The views expressed in this publication are not those of the University or the Students’ Union.

The design, text and photographs are copyright of Epigram and its individual contributors and may not be reproduced without permission.

Flickr: SPakhrin

travel@epigram.org.uk

Advertise with Epigram?

To enquire about advertising, please contact Leanne Melbourne - advertising@epigram.org.uk

Epigram

08.10.2012

3

Students run Social Enterprise Conference Jemma Buckley News Editor

Amnesty International Society

Students gathered to highlight the serious overcrowding in Chad prison systems.

Student Council draws large crowd Sam West News Reporter

179 Society leaders, sports club captains and other university members attended the first Student Council. curtain!’

Minutes of the last student council of 2011-12 - including election of Student Trustees - were also ratified. With time running out, a vote was taken to defer ratifying its motions - including one to support an upcoming NUS demonstration about the bleak prospects facing today’s students - until the next Student Council on 20th November. When second-year Politics student Tom Phipps asked ‘What would be the point of discussing the motion on the demo after it actually happened?’, UBU President Paul Charlton pointed out that the demonstration will take place the day after the next student council meeting.

a wide range of people who feel passionately about social enterprise and would like to debate, exchange and launch new ideas with like-minded people.’

This is the second Bristol Social Enterprise Conference and builds on the success of last year’s conference, which

Social enterprises contribute

£24 billion to the economy brought together over 100 students with successful social entrepreneurs from around the country and this year’s event is set to be twice the size of last year’s conference.

Tickets to the event cost £25 for adults and £8 for university students and can be booked at www.bseconference.org.

Bristol Uni Police report increase in cannabis usage Laura Webb News Reporter The number of students found in possession of cannabis, a Class B illegal drug in the UK, has been rising since the start of term, according to the Bristol Uni Police facebook page, with six students from Bristol University being caught in the last month.

Classed as a hallucinogenic and sedating drug, marijuana is the most widely used illegal drug in the UK - half of all 16 to 29 year olds will try it at least once according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists.

The Community Beat Manager

for the University of Bristol, Nick Boyce, told Epigram ‘People are being caught in many more places all over Bristol – in pubs and clubs, particularly those with beer gardens. Students have also been caught on campus and up at Stoke Bishop.’

The majority of students found in possession have been first years living in University Accommodation, particularly in Stoke Bishop. Boyce indicated it was more difficult to catch students no longer living in University Accommodation where Bristol Security Officers are on patrol.

In January 2009, cannabis was reclassified from a Class C

drug to a Class B drug under the Misuse of Drugs Act. The maximum penalty for possession is currently a five year prison sentence, however offenders caught dealing the drug can be given a prison sentence of up to 14 years.

Boyce suggested the rise in cannabis usage was because ‘People know it is an illegal drug but they just don’t think it is that illegal; people have become much more relaxed about it.’

Bristol University Police are concerned about the rise in cannabis consumption because it is an illegal act and because students do not seem to be aware of - or ignore - the long

term health effects, particularly with the way cannabis is grown today.

Boyce explained ‘Nowadays cannabis is forced to grow with many more chemicals which makes is much harsher and can have much worse side effects.’

The first time a student is caught in possession of cannabis, they receive an official warning from the police. Caught again, they have to pay an £80 fine and their name is stored on the police national computer. Found for a third time, the offender will be arrested, interviewed and cautioned. Offending a fourth time results in arrest and trial, resulting in a criminal record.

Flickr: Nina J. G

A total of 179 society leaders, sports club captains and other members of the university attended the first University of Bristol Union (UBU) Student Council meeting of this academic year.

The number of attendees was higher than at any of the Student Council meetings last year but some put this down to the controversial motion passed at the end of last year ‘compelling at least one member of each UBU-affiliated club or society committee to attend the AGM (Annual General Meeting) and at least one other Student Council, with grant applications for the next year affected if they do not without good reason’.

While the first Student Council did not allow motions, it is believed that there may be one seeking to repeal this controversial decision at the next Student Council meeting on 20th November.

Sabbatical officers gave reports on manifesto commitments and their plans for the year and answered questions, whilst students were elected to the UBU Executive Committee – working groups that will assist Full Time and Part Time Officers in designing policy to bring to Student Council and AGM in the future.

Other contentious talking points included the charge of up to £60 for equipment such as projectors in the Union.

Eliminating these fees is one

of the ideas put forward on the ‘Change One Thing’ page of the UBU website - outlined by Vice President Community Alice Peck and Vice President Sports and Health Hannah Pollak - where students can put forward things they would like changed and have them brought to Student Council should enough students vote online. One frustrated society leader complained, ‘It can’t possibly cost £50 to open a

The Bristol Social Enterprise Conference will take place in the Victoria Rooms on 10th November and looks set to become the biggest student-run social enterprise conference in the UK. The conference – which aims to discuss how to establish a social enterprise – is entirely student run with input from the Social Enterprise Society and Bristol Hub. The conference will be open to anyone wishing to debate, exchange and launch new ideas, including students and local business professionals.

Samuel Fry, Enterprise Consultant at the University of Bristol, said ‘Bristol and the South West of England are at the forefront of growing a culture of social enterprise in the UK. It is fantastic to see that the University of Bristol students have recognised this.’

Social enterprises are businesses that trade to tackle social problems, improve communities, people’s life chances, or the environment.

They reinvest their profits back into the business or the local community.

This year’s Bristol Social Enterprise Conference has attracted big-name speakers such as Sophi Tranchell, the founder and managing director of Divine Chocolate, which aims to establish fairer trading relationships to improve the lives of smallholder cocoa farmers in West Africa. Nine years after being founded, Divine Chocolate is now a dynamic business turning over £10 million.

Social enterprise is a big business - there are 62,000 of them in the UK and together they contribute over £24billion to the economy.

Gemma-Josiane Smith, President of the Bristol Social Enterprise Society, said ‘We hope the conference will attract

Epigram

05.11.2012

4

Bristol pays for binge drinking issue Olivia Lace-Evans News Reporter

Flikr: Pasatraspaso

Over 55s cost the NHS the most

Virgin Media break ‘super fast’ promise Laura Davidson News Reporter

“

Bristol has the third highest levels of alcohol-related crime in the UK.

”

‘This increase in drinking has also led to issues with policing, including cases of nighttime public disorder and alcoholrelated crime. In Bristol, the

partnership between health, the police and the council is excellent but I would welcome the licensed trade setting up a local membership group that could represent them and take forward actions to continue to improve the standards in the industry.’

Bristol has the third highest recorded levels of alcoholrelated crime, with Manchester and Nottingham the only other cities exceeding these levels. These figures, however, do not include unreported crimes believed to be linked to drinking.

The NHS and the report say that people should attempt to stay within recommended drinking guidelines of three to four units a day for men and two to three for women.

Students are also recommended to have three days out of the week where no alcohol is consumed and to try and follow alcoholic drinks with non alcoholic drinks on nights out.

Bristol Professor aims for Guinness World Record Jack Riley News Reporter A test devised by Bristol University Professor Bruce Hood was used as part of a country-wide attempt to set a Guinness World Record for the world’s largest memory game.

The idea of breaking a world record originated from Professor Hood of the Bristol Cognitive Development Centre, who aims to use the information gathered during the event to learn more about ‘false memories’ – when people remember events differently to how they happened.

The memory test involves telling a group of people a list of

related words and then reading those words back to see if the group can remember them.

However, one of the words said afterwards is not originally on the list. If the group believes that the fictitious word was on the original list, the brain has created a ‘false memory.’

Professor Hood explained that ‘this is thought to happen because the list of actual words are all related and so trigger the representation for the false word as if it had been presented. This tells us that memories activate patterns and are reconstructed and not like a video or tape recording.’

Initial results seem to indicate that older participants

are more likely to create a false memory, thought possibly to be because they have had more time to create links and patterns between words.

1000+

people took part in the experiment Whilst the experiment itself will generate some useful results, it is also hoped that the attention given to it will promote the advancement of neuroscience, hopefully leading to better treatments for conditions such as dementia.

Professor Hood told Epigram:

Professor Hood aims to use the information to learn more about the workings of the brain.

‘I think that [Neuroscience] could always benefit from more attention but I am hoping that we can raise its profile even further.’

It is hoped that the results of the experiment will give us more information about the brain, one of the most complex organs in the body which is still not fully understood.

For the experiment to have broken the world record, over 1000 people from 10 different venues needed to take part in the memory test. Whilst the university is still awaiting confirmation of the world record, Professor Hood is ‘confident’ it has been broken.

UoB Press office

Cable broadband firm Virgin Media has been the target of a vast number of complaints over the last few weeks by customers who allege to have been misled by the company’s seemingly false claims of ‘super fast’ broadband.

Many students - and other Bristol residents - were initially drawn to sign up with Virgin by the lure of high broadband speed at competitive prices, with the added appeal of a 9 month contract option for students, meaning that they do not have to pay over the summer months:something which put the firm in favour over competitors, according to several customers.

However, several weeks into term, students are disappointed and outraged by the poor service provided. The BS6 and BS7 districts of the city, including the student areas of Redland and Cotham, are said to be particularly affected.

Many customers are infuriated that they are still being charged full price for their broadband, and a particular bandwidth, such as 30Mb or 60Mb, but are not receiving these speeds. Yet when these individuals have complained, they largely seem to have received unhelpful responses from Virgin’s Customer Services department, with several being told simply that the problem is a result of the service being ‘oversubscribed’ in certain

areas.

One second-year student, who is sharing a house of eight, says that their broadband supplied by the company is, frustratingly, ‘too slow for use if more than two people are using it at any one time’, despite Virgin’s audacious claims that students who sign up to their service can ‘go online all at the same time without slowing each other down.’

Another student, who describes their broadband speed as much slower than average, says she was misled by the internet provider advertising itself as ‘the UK’s fastest widely available broadband.’ With assignments and deadlines approaching, she regrets not looking into alternative providers such as Sky or Orange in more depth, adding that, even after numerous complaints to the firm’s Customer Service department, the housemates had seen no improvement.

This has reportedly been an issue shared by many other customers who have also found Virgin’s Customer Service unhelpful, with some spending time and money, in vain, trying to resolve the problems with their internet connection.

Epigram understands that the technical issues students are reporting are not due to oversubscription, as previously reported, but down to problems with nodes or connection points.

Virgin advised individuals affected to contact them on a case-by-case basis and is aiming to resolve these problems as soon as possible.

Recent figures from a national survey have revealed that Bristol residents are paying £70 a year to support healthcare costs due to excessive levels of drinking.

The survey, carried out by Katie Porter from NHS Bristol, highlights the increased levels of crime, health risks and social burdens created by drinking, particularly in Bristol.

However, it is not students who are the main perpetrators, as those over 55 are costing the NHS the most.

According to Alcohol Concern, a national agency focused on alcohol abuse, middle aged drinkers cost the NHS over 10 times as much as younger drinkers associated with ‘binge’ drinking.

The survey claims that 20% of Bristol citizens are drinking at levels which increase the

chances of damaging your health. These high figures are echoed in neighboring county South Gloucestershire, where 22% of the residents drink to excessive levels.

Ms Porter told Epigram: ‘The marketing of alcohol is the biggest lure. People drink too much alcohol because it is so cheap and it is available in so many places. For instance, some big supermarket chains put their offers for cheap alcohol near the entrances so you put the booze in the trolley before the food.

Epigram

05.11.2012

5

Train upgrade to bring faster service Becky Eade News Reporter

The University of Bristol has fallen in the world University rankings

Flickr: JZjr

The faster service could make Bristol a more desirable place to live

Plans to electrify the railway line between Bristol and London will mean a faster service with 20% more seats, according to Network Rail. This is expected to make Bristol a more desirable place to live for many who want to commute to London, but concerns have been raised about this impact this could have on the cost of housing in Bristol.

This development - set to include electrifying the line from London to Bristol including Oxford and Newbury by 2016 - will give Bristol a faster and more efficient link to London. So, it would indeed make the city an attractive area to live for graduates and other professionals looking to work in the capital.

A survey carried out by the Department for Transport found that 10% of people who do not frequently use trains

now would do so if the trains were less crowded. Similarly, the same survey found 6% would be more likely to travel if journey times were faster.

Areas in Bristol such as those close to rail links are therefore likely to experience a rise in interest from potential buyers and tenants, which would have a positive effect on local businesses.

“

Electrification of the LondonBristol line is expected to be complete by 2016.

”

Concerns have been raised about the potential increase in rental prices, especially in areas such as Clifton and Redland, which are already expensive for students.

Rental agencies have been keen to quash these concerns, saying that students are unlikely to be affected because

landlords keep student properties distinct from professional ones.

A representative from Kingsley Thomas Limited - an estate agency in Clifton - told Epigram that ‘More people interested in moving to the Bristol area may be likely to put up rental prices on the professional side of the rental market, but would have a minimal effect on the student market, as landlords tend to keep the two sectors separate.’

Similarly, Terry Olpin from Terry Olpin Property Management - who has 30 years of experience in the property industry, is of the opinion that the electrification of the railway would have little effect on rental prices for students.

The electrification of the line could be beneficial for students because of the ease of access to the capital, and the rise in the number of people interested in living in Bristol could have a positive impact on local businesses.

Off the scales: silvery fish break Mayor, the force the laws of physics study says be with you?

Ethan Meade News Reporter

way to manufacture these nonpolarizing reflectors.’

Professor Julian Partridge, speaking in Nature Photonics, added: ‘Multilayer reflectors are one of the most commonly used optical devices in industry.

There are many examples where this property is of fundamental importance, for example in optical fibres, LED back reflectors and dielectric waveguides.’

When asked to explain how he went about the research,

physics maths to predict how fish may be achieving this effect. We predicted that they needed two types of crystal in their skin - something which we then measured using a digital holographic microscope.’

This research should have a significant impact on the areas of light reflection and polarization as the natural mechanism used by fish could be manufactured in synthetic devices.

Flickr: Evgeni Zotov

It is not often that university research manages to break the laws of physics, but that is what has been done by University of Bristol scientists. Research led

by PhD student Tom Jordan, supervised by Professor Julian Partridge and Dr Nicholas Roberts, has discovered that silvery fish, such as sardine, herring and sprat, break a fundamental law of physics.

The previous assumption was that the fish’s skin, containing complex arrangements of reflective guanine crystals, would fully polarize light when reflected. As the light becomes polarized, there should be a drop in reflectivity. However, the research has shown that these silvery fish overcome the basic law of reflection. This could help them evade predators and could be put to use in modern technology.

Outlining this, Tom Jordan said: ‘Many modern day optical devices such as LED lights and low loss optical fibres use these non-polarizing types of reflectors to improve efficiency.

However, these man-made reflectors currently require the use of materials with specific optical properties that are not always ideal. The mechanism Silvery fish skin helps evade that has evolved in fish predators and could prove overcomes this current design useful in modern technology limitation and provides a new

Tom Jordan commented: ‘This was actually quite a quick project and took about a year from having the idea to getting accepted by the journal. It was motivated by quite a simple idea: optimal camouflage for silvery fish in the ocean requires a non-polarizing reflection.

‘We then made some reflectance and polarization measurements, finding that fish do not polarize light, and went on to use some optical

George Robb News Reporter

For the first time ever the citizens of Bristol will be able to vote for an elected mayor, allowing a research team consisting of faculty members from the University of Bristol (UoB) and University of West England (UWE) to carry out unprecedented research.

The council have granted the team extensive access to survey materials, such as the ‘Bristol Quality of Life Survey’ and research conducted by the Bristol Citizens Panel, a randomly sampled group of Bristol residents who are regularly consulted to help keep the council up to date with public opinion.

In addition to this, 105 councillors and officers occupying various roles will be surveyed to gain an insight into how the new system will affect the council.

All of this information will be used by the group of experts to ascertain the impact that the directly elected mayor will have on the workings of the council and the population of Bristol.

Dr. David Sweeting, a UoB lecturer and one of the academics involved in the research, remarked that ‘the council have been brilliant in facilitating the investigation.’ He went on to say that the research will be based predominantly on interviews, and that he was ‘not interested in financial and

personal records.’

Due to Bristol’s unique situation, this investigation is thought to be the first of its kind, and as a result Dr. Sweeting stated that he is unsure of what to expect. Describing it as ‘by no means textbook’, the research will be used to test different models rather than to prove or disprove an initial hypothesis.

Paul Taylor, a senior officer in the Chief Executive’s office at Bristol City Council, commented that although the research would ‘complement

105 The number of councillors and officers taking part in the survey. transitional work that is already happening’, its ‘objectivity and political neutrality’ would make it a valuable tool to the elected mayor if they wished to use it.

The first phase of funding has been granted to take the project up until Christmas. As the elections will be held on 15th November, further grants are being sought from the Economic and Social Research Council to enable the project to continue. Without this, it will be difficult to observe the longterm effects of a directly elected mayor.

Epigram

05.11.2012

7

Kittens to reveal cat mysteries

New River Cottage set to open on Whiteladies Road Zaki Dogliani Deputy News Editor

Whiteladies Road, welcomed the news, telling Epigram that they ‘already stock some of his products’ and that the arrival would ‘make the area more lively and freshen up Whiteladies,’ which seems to be becoming more vibrant after a period of decline, following numerous shop closures.

River Cottage prides itself on stocking the very best seasonal provisions including milk, eggs, bread and meat. Plymouth’s River Cottage serves seasonal produce such as ‘pumpkin soup, apple and chilli crème fraiche’ for £5, ‘glazed ham, autumnal slaw and crispy poached egg’ for £12.50 and ‘juniper and bay leaf braised venison with mash potato’ for £13.50.

The planning application has requested an 8am opening for ‘food and other similar light refreshment’, permission to sell alcohol and to allow late-night music and refreshments. The restaurant will be the chef’s third River Cottage in the south west and should open next year.

Ever wondered why your cat is obese and aggressive?

Professor Tim Gruffydd-Jones and his team from the Bristol University Veterinary School have, and they aim to find out the answers to these questions by studying 2000 kittens across the UK. Inspired by the Children of the 90’s study - a long-term project which charted the development of children born in 1991-2, looking into the role of factors such as diet, health and behaviour – the Bristol cats study aims to gain a better understanding of feline development.

The study uses closedanswered questions which query how often the kitten is played with or stroked, how the kitten acts around other animals and what type of food the kitten is fed. The aim of the research is to draw correlations between this information about the kitten’s upbringing and that referring to diseases and the behavioural patterns of the kitten. Two particular interests of the researchers

flickr: merlijn hoek

Television chef and food journalist Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall is to open a restaurant and delicatessen on Whiteladies Road in Clifton.

The former church of St. John the Evangelist, last occupied by Britannia Building Society, will become FearnleyWhittingstall’s third River Cottage, named after the former gamekeeper’s lodge in Dorset that he transformed into a model of rural selfsufficiency, becoming home to the TV series Escape to River Cottage, Return to River Cottage and River Cottage Forever.

The announcement comes weeks after FearnleyWhittingstall addressed an audience at Wills Memorial Building to kick-start a partnership between Bristol University and Bristol Festival of Ideas.

Amy Trim from ‘The Better Food Company,’ also on

Ruby Huett News Reporter

Stroking your kitten may affect how it behaves later in life.

are the factors which lead to kittens experiencing toileting problems and traffic accidents.

One problem with the study is that it is reliant on correlation.

This means that causal conclusions cannot be made as outside variables are not controlled. Nevertheless, the research can still be considered a starting point, from which

more specific studies can be carried out.

Dr Jane Murray, a lecturer in feline epidemiology at Bristol University and a researcher for the Bristol University cats study, described the project as one which will ‘make a difference to the lives of cats in the future.’

The importance of the study is demonstrated by its expansion

from a small Bristol-based study two years ago.

The researchers are currently looking for 500 more kittens -of any pedigree - to be signed up as participants in the study. Dr Murray said: ‘We are delighted with the number of people who have registered their kitten [...] but we need more kittens to take part.’

The ‘undead’ invade the streets of Bristol for the 2012 Zombie Walk

Flickr: Lil Debz

Flickr: Lil Debz

Over 1000 people took to the streets of Bristol to take part in the annual Halloween ‘Bristol Zombie Walk’. Dressed for the occasion, the bloodied ghouls snaked their way from Stokes Croft to Castle Park, flailing and screeching in front of shocked passers-by. Organisers received permission from the Bristol City Council to hold the Zombie Walk for the fourth year in the row - despite fears the event would be cancelled due to disruption last year, when a group of zombie look-a-likes set off fireworks under St James Barton roundabout. This year, after a day of staggering and lurching through Bristol, the ‘undead’ celebrated with a night of entertainment at Castle Park.

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Epigram 05.11.2012

Features

Editor: Editor: Tristan Martin Nahema Marchal

Editor: Deputy Andrew White HelenaEditor: Blackstone

features@epigram.org.uk features@epigram.org.uk

deputyfeatures@epigram.org.uk deputyfeatures@epigram.org.uk

@epigramfeatures

The America Issue What has become of the American Dream?

Many like to think of the American Dream as the national ethos of the United States of America. The term, however, has come a long way from the famous words spoken at the Declaration of Independence in 1776. These are the words which would go on to mould the original concept: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident:

that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness’.

The tenets of the Dream which strived for freedom and human rights seem to have been long forgotten. Used as a way to promote capitalism, materialism and the marketbased society of America as principles, not just purely money driven pursuits, the cold

hard reality of the modern day American Dream is hard to ignore, especially in these times of economic depression.

Yet it appears many continue to stand by its ideals - they do so because of its promise of upward social mobility. They are able to continue to believe that if a person works hard enough and has the appropriate amount of talent then there is no limit to what they can achieve.

What is often neglected however is that a family

background which can provide both financial and emotional support gives privileged people a head start, which often can’t be rivalled by the less fortunate.

This has always been true andis Illustration: Camilla Barden

Sophie Padgett Features Reporter

Does affirmative action foster an ‘anti-white’ prejudice?

In November 2008 Barack Obama opened his Presidential acceptance speech with the message ‘If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.’ The election of a man of mixed racial heritage to the most powerful job in the world should have been the moment when America broke down the last barriers of racial discrimination. The US should have finally become the country it has always wanted to be, in which ‘all things are possible’ for all individuals, regardless of one’s racial origins.

A recent study conducted

by Harvard Business School and Tufts University suggests that Obama’s victory has not pushed the US into an era devoid of racial prejudice.

According to the study, racial discrimination has emerged in another form. The pendulum of discrimination has swung in the other direction, as the study proposes that it is the white majority population that now feels affected by racial bias.

200 white and 200 black people were randomly selected from a national census and asked to rate racist attitudes against blacks and whites in every decade from 1950 onwards.

11% of white respondents gave the current level of anti-white racism the maximum rating of ten points. The authors of the study point towards an issue of ‘severe legal and social controversies’ creating a form of ‘reverse racism’.

Affirmative action appears to be playing a crucial role in engendering these feelings amongst the white population.

Affirmative action originated in the 1960s as a way of forcing employers to ensure they did not discriminate against applicants on the basis of race, creed, colour or national origin.

Some white people feel they are now at a disadvantage when applying Photo: AP/ Susan Walsh

Mona Tabbara Features Reporter

for jobs, as employers go out of their way to fulfil a secret ethnic minority quota. They also feel discriminated against when applying for educational institutions, as demonstrated in the case of Fisher vs University of Texas. Abigail Fisher and Rachel Michalewicz, both white, applied to the University of Texas at Austin in 2008 and were denied

PULL Abigail Fisher claims the university discriminated against her because she was white

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admission. They claim that the university discriminated against them because of their race, thereby violating the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th amendment.

The supposed ‘anti-white bias’ is one way in which America is incompatible with the Declaration of Independence, which proclaims that ‘all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’

A society that continues to give advantages to individuals based on race undermines the Founding Fathers’ presumed commitment to equality. Many white people feel America’s cherished individualism has lost out to political correctness.

The facts and figures regarding the socio-economic position of black people suggests the

supposed anti-white bias has not produced an imminent threat to the white population’s position as the wealthiest ethnic group in the States. Currently the black unemployment rate is almost double the employment rate of the white population, with 14.1% of black people unemployed compared with 7.4% of white people. Things do not look to be improving for the black community, as the racial gap – having narrowed between 2005 and 2009 – has once again widened in 2010.

Analysis of Census Bureau data by Sentier Research has revealed that in the past three years, the median annual income of black households has fallen by 11.1%, which is over double the 5.2% inflationadjusted decline experienced by white households. The States’ complex history as an ethnic melting pot has left many wounds unhealed. As the authors of the study suggest, America is still struggling to reach a ‘post-racial’ era. The media’s rhetoric continues to focus heavily on race, with Obama unable to shake the tag-line of America’s first black President. It will take many more Presidents from ethnic minority groups for the novelty to wear off and many more years of socio-economic development amongst America’s poorer ethnic minority groups to ensure race disappears as a means for judging the merit of an individual.

possibly more exaggerated than ever. What the modern day American Dream fails to realise is that sometimes the state needs to step in to level the playing field if universalism of opportunity is to be achieved.

The Economic Mobility Project, carried out by the registered charity PEW, has analysed the rates of what they refer to as absolute and relative economic mobility within the country. In absolute terms, it is true that in general people currently working in America do earn higher salaries than their parents earnt at the same age.

So, by this definition, it appears that the American Dream is fulfilling its promises.

However, it is when you bring relative economic mobility into the picture that we start to get a clearer idea of the state of social and economic mobility within the nation. When looking at an individual’s overall rank within the ‘income ladder,’ we see that within the top and bottom fifth of the ladder, mobility is much more limited. The Economic Mobility Project reports that of those in the bottom fifth

PULL It is easier to cling to hope than to question the way in which your society is run

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of the income ladder, around 40% remain in that bottom layer throughout their lives and around 40% of those in the top fifth also retained their positions within it. When put into the context of other wealthy nations, these figures do not show adherence to the Dream, with America showing lower levels of social mobility than those of the United Kingdom, Denmark, Sweden, Finland and Norway.

So what has become of the American Dream? The concept still appears to form a vital part of how the US would like to define itself but, as has always

been the problem, the gap between what it preaches and the reality for many people is still far too wide. The every-man– for-himself mentality often fails to serve those most vulnerable within society, and also stops the country advancing as a whole. A 20-year-old student of Public Health at the George Washington University tells Epigram, ‘Individualism has always been a huge obstacle in attempts to create a public health system, and from what I have seen many people still stand by the American Dream as a good ideal by which to live.

It is easier to cling to hope than to question the way in which your society is run, it’s a coping mechanism.’

So, how can we explain the continuing loyalty to the Dream? Surely in these times of uncertainty,unemployment and recession, a great big light bulb would appear over the heads of the American population? A sudden realisation that society has led them down the path of least resistance, a path they did not perhaps even consciously choose and a path which serves the state not the individual.

And now that the state and the American economy have less to offer these people in return, where is the uprising?

In 2009 The New York Times reported that more people during this year of recession believed they had achieved the American Dream than did five years prior to the economic dip. To explain this surprising finding The New York Times pointed to a pattern established by experts. It seems that when times are hard, people often shift their view of abstract concepts such as happiness and opportunity, which start to take preference over more materialistic goals such as having a four wheel drive and a home.

So the notion of the American Dream still holds a symbolic place within the social fabric of the United States, even if it has proved its capacity to change over time. It seems doubtful as to whether the American Dream will ever lose its stronghold within the nation; as long as it represents hope, people will cling to it in times of uncertainty and praise it in times of prosperity.

Epigram

05.11.2012

From JFK to UFOs: US conspiracy theories

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Why is America so obsessed? Joseph Dodd takes a look at the political reasons behind their widespread popularity.

Photo: Flickr/ LabyrinthX

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A third of the US population believe the government was responsible for September 11th

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In fact, the real fantasy land here described can only be the USA, a country suffering from such a crisis of political and cultural identity that theories previously shouted only by the half-naked, tinhatted inhabitants of local high streets have in

one’s theories and suspicions. This ability to choose one’s own reality is intruding like never before in American politics. The ‘birthers’, a movement spearheaded by Donald Trump that perpetuates the idea that Obama was not born an American citizen, gained such momentum that the President of the United States of America was pressured into releasing his long form birth certificate in 2011. However, behind these smear campaigns an altogether darker ideological struggle remains, concerning the representation of the events of 9/11. Behind the paranoia and

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Redemption theorists believe that when the US abandoned the gold standard, the government replaced this with a ‘straw man’ for each citizen, who is assigned $630,000 in a secret bank account.

Through a series of legal manoeuvers, a citizen can write checks against his account.

The ability to choose one’s own reality is intruding like never before in American politics

”

Photo: Flickr/ Peter Davies

The assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy was not perpetrated by Lee Harvey Oswald, at least not on his own or by his own design. It was the Freemasons, the Jews, the CIA, take your pick. A strange hierarchical web exists - you just have to learn how to read the codes that they think we can’t understand. These codes pattern not only American media, politics and history but the entire world: it is a globally sustained effort by them to bring about a New World Order, and if you cannot see that, and if you don’t think it’s all connected, then you are living in a fantasy land.

some cases become central to the articulation of grand narratives that involve America, its politicians and its enemies. Conspiracy theories in America constantly shift from the strange 36% of the population or roughly 80m - believe in UFOs – to the serious; around a third believe that the US government was either directly responsible for or complicit in the September 11th terrorist attacks. Whilst the former statistic can be laughed off as little more than the result of well-publicised sightings by the anally probed, the latter statistic is emblematic of something much darker that is taking hold of the American psyche: a remarkable mistrust of government.

This deep ideological rift that exists between Americans and their leaders is exemplified by a recent Gallup poll which indicates a correlation between the different levels of government and the degree to which they are trusted by the common American. 74% of Americans trust their local government but that figure drops 9% when the same is asked of their state leadership. A third of Americans doubt the efficacy of the federal government to handle international problems, and 47% have little faith in the government’s ability to tackle domestic issues. Couple this with a Gallup poll this year stating that 60% of Americans have little to no trust in the media and what these statistics represent becomes that much clearer: Americans are seriously doubting the institutions which should present them with the facts and tools with which they may distinguish their own politics and beliefs. If one begins to question the stability of the knowledge received from institutions that are supposedly trustworthy, then surely a dissonance must pervade all of one’s beliefs.

The internet must play a pivotal role in sustaining this; it is an instrument with which one can, by discriminating the ‘right’ types of information from the ‘wrong’, confirm all of

the celebrity ‘truthers’, a profound confusion and sorrow is expressed. The inability to articulate the motives that unavoidably resulted in the 9/11 attack could naturally lead a person to search for a narrative that articulates this for them.

A conspiracy theory must supply reasons that abide with a believer’s particular world-view, even if that world-view is false, as long as it provides a stable, sequential interpretation of the event.

Perhaps there is something to be said for the strange desire one feels to take on one’s share of a national tragedy, to take some of the burden and make sense of a situation which is senseless.

In this respect, believing in a theory that unveils hidden truths and secret transactions is not such an absurd reaction when the world is so fraught with economic instabilities, moral ambiguities or compromised political systems. In the most radical of ways, it could be understood as the most appropriate response available to the politically disenfranchised.

Photo: Flickr/ UK Parliament

Joseph Dodd Features Reporter

Many believe Planet X will collide with earth this year, heralding the return of the reptilian Annunaki aliens - the first people of Earth - as predicted by representations left by ancient Sumerians. In fact their shape-shifting descendents still rule the earth (George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, Henry Kissinger…)

Project Rainbow is an alleged naval experiment in 1943 in which a boat was rendered invisible and teleported from Pennsylvania to Virginia and back again. It is supposed to have had such terrible side effects - making sailors go mad or turn invisible - that the Navy stopped exploring this technology.

‘Rushing’ vs. ‘Freshing’: American and British student life Stephanie Rihon Features Reporter

Photo: Flickr/Thai Nguyen

Photo: Wikipedia/ Igor Mukhin

What is the difference between the student life in America and in England?

The standard response would be related to the high drinking age in the States but what does it really boil down to?

The Greek life, those red cups and the constant games of beer pong embody the American college experience, just as, ‘pre-lashing’, societies and formals encapsulate the British university adventure. University culture has three main strands: sports, social life and education. Each varies within both countries and yet, one cannot help but wonder, is it all that different?

From the educational standpoint, the systems are vastly different. American universities have a system that is similar to that of A-levels and choose their speciality as late as the end of their second year. In contrast, English schools refine the interests of students from GCSEs, which continues through university. A recent survey by The Daily Telegraph showed that many British students prefer the American system, with the number of students choosing to study in America increasing by 9,000 since 2011.

However, the most significant contrast between the two cultures is the approach to social life. The legal drinking age in America is twentyone, which by law creates a distinction

between the two cultures. Yet, this does not hinder the presence of alcohol at social events. Even though drinking is illegal, ‘if there is a will, there is a way!’ The taboo of alcohol means that students feel repressed and, as a result, any drinking that does occur is often more irresponsible or brazen.

Statistics show that in the US, there are approximately 2,000 alcohol related deaths per year with one fatality for every two colleges. This is not to say that British students are not, at times, reckless drinkers as 59% of Britain’s student population binge-drink, equating roughly to the same amount, but bearing more significance in America due to the legal constraints.

Nevertheless, Camilla Pfeiffer, a student at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie (NY), stated that ‘though there is often drinking on campus, because of the activity’s illegality, university administrations are obliged to provide alternative activities for those not seeking to drink.’ Scrabble anyone?

This constraint means that druguse becomes more of a problem on American campuses. Whilst British university students focus on predrinking and ‘getting smashed,’ US students tend towards use of illegal substances, particularly marijuana.

Native Texan Zachary Edelen, who resided in Holland most of his life and studies Chemistry at Bristol University, stated that ‘when Americans go to university it is their first taste of

independence. In Europe, people are raised to be independent.’ Thus, the different cultures cope with the initial shock of being a fresher and living away from home in different ways, which explains the contrast of drugs and alcohol in the two countries.

Any American college film will mention the ‘sigma pi luau’ or contain a sexist dig at the sorority girls, which brings me to another point: Greek life. US colleges have a long-standing history of fraternities and sororities with over 9m members countrywide. It is generally thought of as a place to meet like-minded people and is en par with the societies at British universities. Yet, due to extreme initiation ceremonies -

known as ‘hazing’ - several Ivy leagues such as Yale have banned the creation of such organisations. The worst hazing ritual was known as ‘paddling’ and involved a strategic beating of the pledger to supposedly strengthen the bond between the members. This all sounds very violent but if you think that this extremity is confined to American students, think again. Sport initiations at British universities are just as emotionally scarring. The BBC found footage of a man dressed in Nazi uniform commanding sportsmen to drink, excrete and then parade on the street as part of the sports initiation at the University of Gloucestershire.

Therefore, although the sigmas are

more avidly known to be brutal in their initiations, the equivalent can be found within sports in the UK. Sporting activities also seem to vary between the cultures. There is much more emphasis on team spirit in America with many more students choosing to be spectators at games. The enthusiasm for sports within British universities must not be downplayed think of Bristol’s very own rivalry with UWE - but Harvard’s 80% attendance rate is unbeatable. This difference may be purely related to a lack of space, as London-based universities in particular do not have the same facilities as the forested Dartmouth University, for example.

So, ultimately, what is the difference between American and British university culture? Not much; it is essentially the same formula.

A graduate emerges from higher education with qualifications, good friends and a few drunken stories.

Whether you are an American majoring in Quantum Physics at Columbia University, frantically rushing for sororities, or a British student reading English at Exeter University running to the next social, your experience will be very similar. Of course there are variations, but whatever university campus you go to, be it in Minnesota or Dundee, you can guarantee that the student ‘uniform’ will be the same: tracksuits and flip-flops!

Epigram 05.11.2012

10

Proposition 34 shows a changing view of death penalty Ed Trotman Features Reporter

Photo: Flickr/ World Coalition Againt Death Penalty

In keeping with the eternal words of California’s ex-governor, ‘I’ll be back,’ the controversial debate surrounding the death penalty has once again reared its head in the golden state.

Since the reinstatement of the death penalty in 1978 following its brief suspension in 1976, 13 people have been executed by the Californian state authorities and a further 56 have died waiting on death row of other causes, including 14 suicides since October 2007. The introduction of the three drug lethal injection procedure as the default execution method in 1994 - an

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In 1989 Carlos Deluna was executed for murder, but this year has been found innocent

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anaesthetic, a paralytic and one to induce cardiac arrest - is now considered a more ‘humane’ method.

Next month on November 6th, Californians will vote on a number of issues including Proposition 34, or the ‘Death Penalty Initiative Statute’, as it is to be catchily renamed, as part of a state-wide ballot. The proposition, if approved, will eliminate the death penalty in

Paris ‘Die-in’: Protest organised by Amnesty International and Acat France, members of the World Coalition against the death penalty.

California and replace it with life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. It will also apply retrospectively to inmates already sentenced to death. The Proposition requires those found guilty of murder to work while in prison, with wages applied to victim restitution fines or orders against them.

Recent polling has suggested that the result of this ballot is far too close to call with the California Business Roundtable survey finding 42.9% in favour

and 48.1% against with 9.0% undecided, earlier this month.

Supporters of the YES campaign, in favour of Proposition 34 include Natasha Minsker, of the Northern California America Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and Jeanne Woodford, a former Warden of San Quentin State Prison who has presided over four executions and appears to be the face of their campaign.

In recent times the execution of California’s oldest ever death row inmate in 2006

just moments after his 76th birthday, who was both blind and wheelchair bound, has prompted increasing numbers to question this punitive measure.

In theory the death penalty is supposed to act as the ultimate deterrent, although as H. Lee Sarokin, a retired federal judge and proponent of the YES campaign argues, ‘I cannot envision that somebody contemplating murder sits at the Kitchen table and says ‘I’m

not going to commit a murder because I could face the death penalty, but I will if I only face life imprisonment.’ I do not believe persons contemplating or committing murder plan to get caught.’

Another argument against such a heavy-handed penal code in California is that those wrongly prosecuted pay the ultimate price. In 1989 Carlos Deluna was executed for murder, but has this year been found innocent on account of

a false witness statement by a groundbreaking report from the Columbia University Human Rights Law Review, which some call the most extensive criminal investigation in US History.

The actual murderer, Carlos Hernandez - the real Carlos - had in fact made multiple confessions and went on to commit further crimes; this verdict has now come far too late.

Among the most ardent opponents of Proposition 34 are Former Governor Pete Wilson and Michael Ramos, San Bernardino County District Attorney. They argue that the death penalty is justifiably given in the cases of the most violent and heinous crimes which constitute less than 2% of all murder cases in California.

In addition, opponents say that the claim by the YES campaign that abolition would save the state $40m per year given death row and execution costs - is in fact political point scoring by the ACLU in these hard economic times, without due regard for the families of murder victims.

What we perhaps forget as European students in the 21st Century is that the death penalty, far from being some archaic hangover, was still used in this country until 1964 when love was free and London was the swinging city. With its abolition, I for one still feel safe to walk the streets of Bristol; perhaps Californians should look beyond their own shores when they go to the polls next month.

First ladies: Where would the election be without them?

In the run-up to the US presidential election, First Lady Michelle Obama and Mitt Romney’s wife Ann are sharing alongside their husbands the burden of intense media coverage. But just how much of an impact do spouses have on an election? While they may not decide the result, they certainly contribute to shaping voters’ perceptions of the candidates.

Despite the fact that a Google search for ‘Michelle Obama’ brings up more results on the First Lady’s outfits - stylish as they are - than anything else, Mrs Obama has frequently advocated her husband and has supported him politically.

Ann Romney and Michelle Obama both come across as relatable, approachable even, and this can rub off on the public’s impression of the politicians at their side, who are often accused of being out of touch with voters. The image of family that they portray is also important – often the only

Photo: AFP

Gjeta Gjyshinca Features Reporter

thing which links a working class woman to the woman married to the most powerful man in the world is a common love for their children and a desire to provide them with the best possible life. It helps, then, that when people ask Michelle Obama to describe herself, she says that first and foremost, she is a ‘Mom.’ Politically, Michelle and Ann

have important roles to play – Michelle’s low-income black roots meant that she took the lead in reaching out to African American voters in 2008 and she continues to be the voice to reach the working class.

After the President announced his support for gay marriage in May, it was Michelle who spoke to 30,000 members of the African Methodist Episcopal

Church conference. Though many of these members were angry with the President’s announcement, the First Lady’s focus in her speech on religious texts and on her family’s origins as southern slaves inspired a standing ovation. It seems difficult to imagine even the President himself being able to win over a crowd in quite the same way.

Similarly, Ann Romney has used her own history to connect with voters; when critics have attempted to portray the Romneys as wealthy and aloof by emphasising that Ann had never worked ‘a day in her life’, she rebutted the accusations by focusing on her personal battle with multiple sclerosis as a mother of five children.

Her descriptions of the dark times the disease has caused her family showed that even the wealthy struggle, and contributed to humanising the robot-like Mitt Romney.

It is not just the First Lady and Ann Romney who have involved themselves in their husband’s campaigns: throughout history, the First Lady has acted as an advocate, a maternal figure and a role model for people all over the world, and on top of all this is often seen as a style icon and fashion trendsetter. Hillary Clinton redefined the role of the First Lady when she was named head of the President’s Task Force on Health Care Reform. This allowed her to directly support her husband in

raising awareness of the issues with the American health care system. Similarly, Barbara Bush promoted literacy, Laura Bush supported women’s rights

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It is difficult to imagine the President winning over a crowd in quite the same way

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groups, and Michelle Obama has become involved in tackling childhood obesity.

While it is difficult to estimate the exact value these women have had on presidential elections, it seems clear that whatever the outcome, they are indispensable on the campaign trail. The work of the First Lady has meant that she is seen as more than just an accessory on the President’s arm, and it is important that her role is not underestimated – in the words of Pat Nixon: ‘Being First Lady is the hardest unpaid job in the world’.

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05.11.2012

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Nothing but queues and pricey booze Yes Kate Samuelson I am fully aware that clubbing is not ‘cool’.

I know I should be starting this piece with a statement like ‘Po Na Na – I’ve not set foot in that hellhole since we were forced to go in Freshers’ Week; it’s all about The Big Chill, Mr Woolf’s and occasionally Motion, but only for Tokyo Dub, never, ever, Score or Itchy Feet, or some other pitiable event like that’. However if I said that, I would be lying. In fact, I’m not even going to pretend to be cool, I’m just going to come out and admit it: I like clubbing. I like squalid Bunker and sweaty Basement 45 and even though I swear never to return to sticky Lounge after each visit, I know I’ll go back. Why? Because despite what some say, clubbing can be absolutely hilarious. More than a few of my favourite university memories have taken place on a night out.

Yes, it can be the opposite of classy: it’s crowded – the precise capacity of Lounge being, according to one of the bouncers, ‘as many as we can cram in’ – and full of questionable characters,

“ You would have to be taking fussiness to a new level to claim that there isn’t a club night for you.

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but where else in Bristol can you buy a toffee vodka shot, amusingly watch a load of unsavoury men take their shirts off to the Baywatch theme tune – cue ‘some people stand in the darkness’ – and get chatted up by a creepy cloakroom guy?

Anyone who claims to not be having fun clearly isn’t drunk enough.

In first year, clubbing reduced the monotony of living in a bland room on a bland corridor

in a bland university building.

Nights like ‘Gossip Monday’ and ‘Inappropriate Monday’ (ask anyone who was in Badock Unit 2), along with hilariously awkward dining room experiences after a particularly heavy evening, all contributed to my great enjoyment of first year. Even second year and what I’ve experienced of third year so far, have boasted some pretty memorable nights out, from the unfathomably intense 2ManyDJs to a genuinely hilarious ‘Ann Summers party’ at an awkwardly empty Dorma.

Yes, going to house parties might seem a valid alternative to a club, but you can’t buy a lollipop in the bathroom, have a mass pillow fight on the dance floor or make noise until the early hours without the police being called.

I can understand why some people might value a night in over a night out, however I really think it’s important to take advantage of student nightlife while you’re young.

Let’s face it, after you graduate, you’re unlikely to be hitting the clubs very often. Tied down in an unsatisfactory job as unpaid intern in an unknown profession, you’ll go out maybe once, twice a fortnight, but even then you’ll take it easy, with the lame excuse of: ‘I’ve got work in the morning’. University is the last time you can go regularly clubbing without worrying about work with a hangover or feeling a bit like lamb dressed as mutton.

With such a colossal range of places to choose from, from Syndicate for the mainstream (I haven’t been back since Freshers’, but that textingin screen did provide much comedy value) to The Ark for the decidedly more edgy, you have be taking fussiness to a new level to claim that there isn’t a club night for you.

Everyone reading will have encountered a few awful nights out (Underground Rebel Bingo Club in the 02 Academy… shudder), but in the same way that one doesn’t reject Jason Donervans forever after a couple of dodgy burgers, it’s an error to write off Bristol’s clubbased nightlife completely after a couple of poorly-executed evenings on the Triangle.

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No Rosslyn McNair There is nothing more repulsive to me than the idea of clubbing, of being subjected to a hot, sweaty nauseating environment that I could recreate for free in my room with a portable heater, a bottle of table wine and the homeless guy across the road who likes to spit at people.

Let’s consider an average night out. Picture the scene.

You’re trapped in a confined space with lots of other people, there’s little air and sweat is pouring down your back. You turn to your neighbour to elicit some help or comfort but the raging noise of the others around you drowns out the sound and you are left lonely and isolated. Are you stuck in a Debenhams lift? Are you being kettled by the police? No, you have voluntarily elected to go to Lounge on a Thursday.

One of the main problems with clubs is the queues, which can make or break a night but usually break it. Too long and you might be forced into La Rocca, too short and you know the sum total of the people inside will consist of two confused lecturers and an aged accountant named Mike.

You take the plunge, risk the hyperthermia and wait your turn. Next is the always nervewracking encounter with the bouncers. Do you bother trying to conceal how trashed you are?

Maybe if you begin discussing your essay on Marquez and Magical Realism he’ll respect you for the intellectual don you are. You think not and instead silently hand over your ID, hoping the cringingly awful picture of you at fourteen won’t contribute to the already contemptuous opinion you know he has of you.

You pass the bouncers and proceed, oddly content at the idea of paying £5 to enter a darkened room filled with strangers. You enter the club, your eyes darting around taking in the surroundings, surveying the current clientele as they meander back and forth across social boundaries like Jimmy Saville on a paediatric ward.

You decide it’s time to hit the bar, you’re definitely not drunk enough yet to pretend that you enjoy dancing to Nicki Minaj.

On the drunk scale you’re only at Carly Rae Jepson so have some way to go before you successfully convince society that you’re trendy and down with the kids.

Finally drinks are purchased and in a burst of mistaken enthusiasm you head to the dance floor. The Wall is then hit.

What on earth do you do with

“ It’s not an enjoyable activity. It’s expensive, it contradicts every social rule I’ve ever been taught and I always regret it the following day.

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Going to clubs is an established student passtime. But with expensive drinks, long queues and surly staff, is there really anything to enjoy in a club?

your ridiculous limbs? Don’t be too eager or you’ll look like a spider having an epileptic fit.

Best thing is just to stay cool and bob casually in time to the music. Chicks dig a guy with limited hip movement.

This circle of bar, dance floor, bar, dance floor continues until either the nausea becomes too much or you somehow manage to convince someone that licking each other’s faces is an enjoyable activity. It’s expensive, it fundamentally contradicts every social rule I’ve ever been taught and I always regret it the following day.

So next time you’re at a loose end, wondering what to do with your evening. Do something you actually want to do, like hang out with your friends or go to the pub, as opposed to something you feel compelled to do. It’s cheaper, more fun and you don’t come out looking like a regurgitated piece of road kill.

Epigram

05.11.2012

12 12

Not about the bike after all: let’s go easy on Lance After judgement is passed on the ‘most sophisticated doping programme ever’, Sebastian Green asks: Can Lance still be our hero? mnorri

Sebastian Green He was the perfect athlete.

Having won the battle against testicular, brain and lung cancer, Lance Armstrong got back on his bike and won seven consecutive Tour de France titles. Alongside this, he created Livestrong, a charity which has raised $500m to help people affected by cancer.

Without a doubt, it’s inspiring.

I wish the story could end there, but the star seems to have been brought back down to earth. His image has been irrevocably tarnished, dragging the cycling world with it, following a conclusive report from the United States Anti Doping Agency (USADA), which exposed our cycling hero as a fraud. ‘There is overwhelming evidence that Armstrong doped throughout his career,’ the report reads.

And what’s worse is that he was not just well aware of it, but

a ringleader in a shamefully sophisticated doping scandal, that included everything from hotel rooms transformed into blood banks to million dollar payouts to doctors. He has now been stripped of all his Tour titles and had his name erased from the cycling history books.

Armstrong had faced a wake of accusations of doping throughout his career, and proudly refuted it. He said in a 2001 Nike advert ‘Everybody wants to know what I’m on. I’m on my bike busting my ass six times a day’. In fact, he was on blood transfusions, hormones and more. And, by the way, Armstrong made as much as

$17.5m in endorsements alone in 2005 thanks to those adverts.

For shame.

Now, try for a moment to put the lies and cheating to one side (it’s hard, I know). I’d like to make a case for keeping some respect for Lance. Picture the context of American sports, in which there seems to be more of an acceptance of doping. USA cycling coach Jamie Staff recently revealed that Armstrong belonged to an entire generation of dopers, and that ‘if you wanted to even finish the course, you had to jump on board’. Many of his comrades and idols acted the same. Armstrong’s former

teammate Christian Vande Velde said: ‘I was presented with a choice that to me, at the time, seemed like the only way to continue to follow my dream at the highest level of the sport.”’

Consider also the pressure on financial prospects. With prize money, television revenue, advertising and more, top athletes are some of the richest people in the world. America’s 50 richest athletes showed an average annual income of $24.3m in 2011. Before 2009, some professional UCI (Union Cycliste Internationale) cyclists competing in the Tour de France were earning less than £25k. In the same race, the winner would receive more than $0.5m in prize money alone. Also, in reality, nobody has ever heard of Tour de France riders outside of the top 20 (180 enter). Would you dope to make the cut? I think this hero-or-zero culture in such a stressed environment would knock one’s approach; we should be questioning both personal and cultural values.

Look at examples of other successful cyclists caught for doping too. Spaniard Alberto

Contador had his 2010 Tour title taken away for taking the drug clenbuterol. He returned to cycling after a ban, and I watched him receive as warm a welcome as ever in Madrid after winning the Vuelta a Espana (Spain’s Tour) this year. And I hate to mention it, but the winner of the London Olympics men’s road race, Alexandr Vinokourov (sorry Cav), showed positive for blood doping in 2007. Both of these men denied doping before being proven guilty.

Why should these men be remembered for success, and not Armstrong? It seems that because he was so successful he has become a scapegoat.

People seem to be forgetting he still achieved far more than the others. I’d like to also stress that the questions raised from this case should be targeted at professional cycling as a whole and its governing bodies. New evidence shows that the UCI accepted $100,000 to keep quiet after Armstrong showed positive in 2001.

Doping still doesn’t negate the fact that he came back from cancer and beat the best at their own game. In fact, to even have the bravery to try and get back on the

bike after almost losing your life like that is remarkable. It required unrivalled courage and determination.

Let’s also separate Armstrong’s success as a cyclist from his success with Livestrong. He will always be a hero for the empowerment and inspiration he has given to thousands of cancer survivors and their families. And interestingly, when Armstrong announced that he was no longer going to contest the USADA’s charges, the donations to Livestrong increased by 25 times.

Before seeing Chris Hoy enjoying his Bran Flakes on the telly, Armstrong was probably the only professional cyclist you could name; it is a shame that his fairy tale story has been ruined, and with it, trust in the sport. Don’t forget, however, that it has taught an invaluable lesson. Many ex-professionals are now ‘coming clean’ to get this terrible history off their chests. Pat McQuaid, chair of ICU, insists that the sport is heading in a clean direction.

Let’s hope so, and let’s give Lance a break.

www.epigram.org.uk/ categories/comment

U.S. Elections 2012

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instead of engaging with a smart policy, designed to be tough on terrorism whilst building co-operation and dialogue. He has managed to avoid direct intervention in Syria; play a key role in regime change in Libya; dampen US involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan and not rise to calls for reckless attacks on Iran.

But nothing showed the bankruptcy of American foreign policy in the debates more so than a line by Obama - in response to Romney’s calls for a tougher policy - that ‘you’re saying the same things as us, but you’d say them louder’.

What a real shame. It was meant to belittle Romney but what it really did was expose the fallacy which is American politics. Did anyone mention Guantanamo? 166 captives currently live under appalling conditions and it was

ges

As I write this, Mitt Romney is looking increasingly like the next president of the United States of America.

The difference in poll ratings between the two candidates is nail-bitingly narrow, and with just one day left before America goes to the polls there is everything to play for.

That doesn’t seem to be the case anywhere outside America. A recent BBC poll shows that over 20,000 people in 21 countries overwhelmingly favoured current president Obama over the Republican

increase in military spending where there was no need for it.

When the Republican expressed his distaste for the fact that America had less navy ships than it had in 1916, Obama rather arrogantly quipped ‘We also have fewer horses and bayonets’.

In the name of freedom America has largely been able to make an enemy of Iran, a lover of Israel and a foe of many Middle Eastern people

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DonkeyHotey

Izzy Obeng

challenger. Amongst the most pro-Obama countries are France, Canada and us Brits who are 65 per cent pro-Obama and a measly 7 per cent proRomney.

The question to ask is why?

If we are going to be honest with ourselves as a global community, even if we think he is great, Obama just is not that crazy about us. The reason that Romney’s foreign policy doesn’t differ that much from the president’s is not that he is a moderate - it’s that if he went any further right he would be in the Tea Party or, better yet, he would be riding that Herman Cain Train.

It has been Obama’s mission this campaign to paint Romney as an incompetent flip-flopper on matters of foreign policy.

One just needs to look at the last debate, where Obama attempted to paint Romney as an opportunist, endorsing an

Izzy Obeng on the Obama craze, election rhetoric and foreign policy

Admittedly, the Obama administration has benefited from a more effective, less controversial foreign policy than the Bush administration it wasn’t very hard. He accuses the previous administration of going around ‘chest thumping’

promised 4 years ago that the prison would be shut down.

Did anyone mention Abu Ghraib? What about the drone attacks that regularly murder innocents in countries which

most Americans wouldn’t be able to point out on a map? In the name of freedom America has largely been able to make an enemy of Iran, a lover of Israel and a foe of many Middle Eastern people. It begs the question as to whether it should be a wakeup call for the US that it is the only Western nation in the world that has seen an increase in the number of terrorist attacks on its soil in recent years.

November 6th will see America go to the polls. As I write this the polls are putting Romney at 49 points to Obama’s 47. I am doubtful as to whether a Romney or Obama presidency will spell any significant change in America’s attitude to the world but we’ll see: may the best man win.

Epigram

05.11.2012

13 13 13

No need for a fallout over nuclear disarmament concern: the nuclear issue or the geo-politics of the region itself ?

Modern Iranian history is littered with infringements on Iranian politics by Western powers.

The 1953 coup d’état that removed the first

“

On the surface, at least, it seems that Iran does not want the bomb.

talking about it internationally.

No matter how irrational the leaders of Iran seem, they know that an attack on Israel would be followed by harsh reprisals, which would ultimately end their dominance of power.

The most recent IAEA

5rrty:Vattenfall

Sanctions on the oil and nuclear industry, a devaluation of the currency, travel bans on members of the political establishment. Sound familiar?

This is not Iraq in 2002, but Iran in 2012.

The screws around the Islamic Republic are tightening: economic sanctions are hitting ordinary Iranians hard; their only ally in the region, Syria, is wavering; and the military rhetoric coming from Israel gets increasingly hostile every week. The Iranian government stands resolute on its nuclear program. Despite reiterations that it is purely for civilian use, however, the US and its allies believe that there may be some military dimensions involved.

US strategists worry that as America reduces its military presence in the Middle East, concentrating on Southeast Asia and China, there will be opportunities for the Mullahs in Iran to expand their influence in a resource-rich region. But what is the real cause of their

to differentiate between civilian and soldier. On the surface, at least, it seems that Iran does not want the bomb.

But what if it secretly did, and was able to acquire it? Well for one, the rhetoric from the loosetongued Iranian President,

“ For peace to truly exist in the region, Iran ought to be seen not as part of the problem, but as part of the solution.

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Faraz Aghaei

security doctrine of the Islamic Republic.

Within Iran itself there is widespread support, from both opponents and supporters of the current regime, for domestically produced civilian nuclear power. As signatories

democratically elected leader of the Middle-Eastern world, the support of the Shah during the Iranian revolution and the support of Saddam Hussein during the Iran-Iraq war have all led to a sense of insecurity within Iran. Mix this in with the recurring process of sanctions and confrontational talk, along with the removal of the two regimes in neighbouring countries, and one can quickly see how insecurity feeds the

to the NPT (Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons), Iranians feel that it is their right to enrich uranium, and it is not a right that they will give up easily. However that’s where Iranian enthusiasm for all things nuclear stops; ordinary citizens don’t want the bomb, and the Leader of the Revolution Khomeini - and his successor Khamenei - have both decreed nuclear weapons as un-Islamic due to their failure

Mahmoud Ahmadenijad, would be treated differently with nuclear weapons to back up talk of “wiping Israel off the map”.

Internationally they would be able to ward off the USA from launching an invasion, but regionally it would lead to the Gulf States, Egypt and Saudi Arabia to either build or buy nuclear missiles. Iran would lose not only its strategic advantage but also its regional dominance by acquiring the bomb and

(International Atomic Energy Agency) report indicated that Iran did have a nuclear missile programme, but that it stopped in 2003. In 1981, however, Washington claimed that the Islamic Republic was 2-3 years away from creating a bomb. In 1985 the US Defense Secretary, C. Weinberger, said Iran was months away and in 2000 the CIA reported that Iran was 34 years away from making the bomb. In right wing politics you

always need an enemy to cover up for your domestic policies; this was true for the US during Reagan and Bush (both Jnr and Snr), and it is the same for Netanyahu now. Politicians may well be talking themselves into a war by allowing all the rhetoric to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. There is a fine line between talking war and going to war and the parties involved must be careful to not cross it without realising.

The possibility of war seems too drastic, so we are left with a phenomenon called policy inertia. More and more sanctions, both from the EU and the US, are being put on Iran simply because that is what they know best. No rational politician would put their neck out and force a change in policy. The consequences for their careers would be disastrous. Instead, for peace to truly exist in the region, Iran should be seen not as part of the problem, but as part of the solution instead.

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How early is too early? Remembrance and etiquette people prefer to wait, and argue that wearing the flowers too early cheapens the cause.

Ultimately the wearing of a poppy is – and should be - a personal choice, but the debate is an interesting one.

Every year the subject reJoe Kavanagh emerges: in 2010, presenters such as Gary Liniker were This year Remembrance Sunday criticised for wearing their falls on the 11th November. The poppies ‘too early’. Last month, British Legion has launched the author and journalist Ted its annual Poppy Appeal, Harrison argued publicly that and inevitable questions the poppy is ‘too often seen as about etiquette have arisen a test of patriotism’, and there is once again. Particularly, the an ‘unseemly ostentation’ in the argument about when it is way that public figures sport appropriate to start wearing their poppies so readily. a poppy. Some people like to Maybe so, but there’s little to wear their poppies as soon as be done about that. The pious they can, lamenting that others attitudes to which Harrison do not follow their lead; other takes objection are common

in every walk of life: whether it’s non-smokers telling their nicotine-loving friends that they are killing themselves, or saladmunching killjoys warning anyone who’ll listen about the amount of saturated fats in their Big Mac. Perhaps some those who wear their poppies the earliest are being ‘ostentatious’, but it’s too cynical to argue that this is invariably the case.

Any readers who are unsure should be wary of where they seek advice. As ever, the Daily Mail’s online forums provide little clarity on this confusing issue.

One commenter attributed the early appearance of poppies on our screens to the culture of ‘political correctness’ at the BBC. ‘They spend our money like mad but

politically correct, they are! (I am sure that we are paying for the puppies)’ said Bruno from Guilford. Whether Bruno really was concerned about the price of baby dogs is unclear, but

his analysis of the issue was valuable nonetheless.

Any readers who are still unsure can relax, because many people have already been wearing their poppies for some time. This year, one of the earliest public appearances of the flower was on the lapel of Jack Straw, on the Daily Politics Show. The show was broadcast on the 23rd October, almost three weeks before Remembrance Sunday. In fact, the former Foreign Secretary was so early that he preceded not just the launch of the Poppy Appeal, but the first official sale of the flower. Some critics were prompted to ask whether he’d recycled his poppy from last year.

BBC guidelines ask staff not

to wear their poppies until the 27th October. In their view, it seems, their is such a thing as ‘too early’. After all, the more familiar that poppies become, the easier it is to forget their symbolic significance. Yet although this is a concern, we shouldn’t focus too much attention on the minutiae: the important thing is the act of remembrance itself.

The tradition of the poppy was inspired by lines from John McCrae’s 1919 poem, In Flanders Fields. It asks the reader to remember those who, ‘lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,/ Loved and were loved, and now…lie/ In Flanders fields.’ If this much is achieved, then the etiquette is unimportant.

Epigram

05.11.2012

Science & Tech

Editor: Mary Melville scienceandtech@epigram.org.uk

Blood doping in cycling

As evidence of extensive doping in professional cycling comes to the light, Sebastian Green investigates the extraordinary measures taken to become the best.

Flikr: Michael Coghlan

the requisite need for and subsequent supply of oxygen to that muscle. However, this doesn’t seem to be enough for some of the most competitive.

They specifically turn to two further methods: blood transfusion and erythropoietin use.

Blood transfusion can be autologous - where your own blood is extracted and re-injected - or homologous - where someone else’s blood is extracted and injected into your blood stream.

The blood is usually extracted with a needle two to three months before the competition

the race. Also, any blood transfusions not performed by professionals could carry an increased risk of contracting blood-borne diseases.

It has proved a real challenge to provide trustworthy detection methods. Newer methods include ‘biological passports’, which are periodical measures of nine blood characteristics.

A common measurement is of haemoglobin and haematocrit levels, to detect abnormal spikes.

They can also detect the amount of immature erythrocytes (reticulocytes) and the level of mature erythrocytes. If transfusion has occurred, you would find that the mature don’t coexist with the immature. This won’t prove doping, but abnormalities can lead to assumptions.

Pharmaceutical EPO is much harder to detect, because it is so chemically similar to its natural counterpart in the kidneys . It can be biochemically distinguished using gel electrophoresis, but its accuracy is thought to be questionable, and may lead to false positives.

Even though it is not completely reliable, modern detection methods may at least scare off potential dopers. The International Cycling Union has also taken action, preventing any cyclists from participating if their haematocrit surpasses 50%. Random room checks are also done. Hopefully, the dangers of doping may tend professionals towards the safer, natural alternative of physical

BUVZS tackle exotic pet problems Tilly Ethuin Jimmy Scott- Baumann Science Reporters There is a clear lack of knowledge regarding animal welfare, animal conservation and the farming industry amongst the general public: most of whom eat meat and have pets.

Today, statistics show that many teenagers find ‘exotic’ pets more appealing than the classic cat and dog.

‘Exotic’ is a poorly defined and very wide ranging term, comprising of reptiles (snakes, lizards), birds (parrots, finches, canaries etc), rodents (rabbits, guinea pigs, rats, degus etc) and even tarantulas and big insects. These are obviously

far less ‘domesticated’ than cats and dogs, and thus the owner must simulate much more of the animal’s natural environment. Beautiful and sometimes rare animals, such as those seen in David Attenborough’s documentaries, are often euthanized due to compromised welfare from lack of appropriate care. This is, to say the least, frustrating and upsetting for both the vet and the owner. However, this is often the only solution available as with many of these animals - especially birds - by the time they show any sign of poor health they are already on their last legs. This rapid deterioration, with little sign of suffering, is a mechanism to avoid attention from predators in the wild. What is truly exasperating is that

these cases could be avoided if information about the animals’ appropriate environment, diet and behaviour was better transferred and more widely available.

The other week the studentled Bristol University Vet and Zoological Society (BUVZS) added their own workshop, to a ‘Building the Body’ workshop for secondary school students, on exotic pet welfare. As the children were enthusiastic the

society has decided to expand soon to more schools and they also plan to inform children objectively on the realities of different animal farming systems in the UK and abroad, as well as the often unknown course the animal takes from farm to plate.

If you wish to get involved in this project or if you want any more information then please contact Tilly Ethuin at me7600@bristol.ac.uk.

Science behind: Onion tears

Edith Penty Geraets reports on how to avoid onion tears in the second of our monthly ‘The Science Behind’ columns.

The symptoms of this infliction are well known. It begins with a prickling in the nose and eyes, and eventually climaxes to an excruciating burning sensation. By this point, the chopping chore is abandoned and you flee from the kitchen.

Why the tears? What is this wicked component of the onion and how does it attack so suddenly?

Onions have been used in cooking for centuries and can be found in all corners of the globe. In the plant world, they are known as Allium from the Celtic word ‘all’ which, unsurprisingly, means

is highly volatile meaning it diffuses quickly through the air.

Upon reaching the eyes it mixes with moisture to form mild sulfuric acid which stimulates the tear glands. The lucky few will experience just a tickle whilst the rest of us are left in floods of tears. Interestingly for garlic, the sulfoxides do not undergo the same reactions as in onions so although the lingering smell may ruin your chances for a kiss, at least your eyes are spared the pain.

Onions are well known for their numerous health benefits such as maintaining a healthy cardiovascular system, bone

pungent.

Like all other living organisms, onions are made up of many cells. As you cut into the onion, you cut through these cells with different compartments and their contents are released. Amino acid sulfoxides in one part of the cell can now mix with enzymes from another part, a reaction that results in the formation of sulfenic acids. A further reaction turns this into propanethial-S-oxide. This is our guilty chemical and one which

and tissue. They are packed with vitamins C, B1 and B6 and also contain potassium, phosphorus and dietary fibre. They also have anti-inflammatory properties due to the large amount of anti-oxidants present.

There have even been claims that eating between one and seven onions per week can statistically lower your risk of contracting certain types of cancer. I leave it to you to weigh up the pros and cons of cooking with this paradoxical bulb.

Flikr: jbeeswax

It’s a simple concept. Muscle fatigue mainly derives from a lack of oxygen supply to meet its increasing demand, leading to anaerobic respiration and a build up of lactic acid. Blood doping concerns an injection to abnormally increase the number of erythrocytes -red blood cells- in an athlete’s blood stream, so that more oxygen can be taken up by haemoglobin and transported to the muscles. The end result is enhanced endurance.

Your body has a ‘natural’ remedy to muscle fatigue, whereby, through training, muscle mass increases as does

date and intravenously inserted up to a week beforehand. The haematocrit is usually 4050%. Following transfusion, it can increase by as much as 20%. Up to a fifth of your total blood volume can be taken. It is placed in a centrifuge, which separates the blood into its main components: plasma and erythrocytes. The plasma is returned to the blood, and the erythrocytes are stored to be used on race day.

Erythropoietin (EPO) is a hormone found normally in the human body. It is a communication molecule that signals erythrocyte precursors in bone marrow. If you were to climb to the top of Mount Everest, where less oxygen is available, your kidneys would respond by producing EPO, and you would be able to transport more oxygen around your body. Since synthetic EPO was made in the 1980’s, it has become a very popular alternative to transfusions. An additional bonus is that tests for it are quite unreliable, and have only existed since 2000.

Doping has its obvious appeal to athletes, but it can be very dangerous. They can be easily dehydrated and the blood becomes too thick. This can slow down blood flow and increase the risk of blood clotting, which can cause strokes, pulmonary embolism, heart attacks and more. In the late 1980’s, 20 endurance athletes were thought to have died of heart failure due to thick blood.

Some cyclists have been known to collapse just before

@epigramSciTech

Try one of these tricks: 1.

Heat the onion before chopping. This denatures the enzyme ‘allinase’ preventing it reacting with sulfenic acids present in the cells.

2.

Chill the onions. (But do not freeze!) The chemical reactions will be slowed at cooler temperatures and less propanethial-S oxide will evaporate.

3.

Chop the onion under water. This will prevent the release of sulfenic acid into the air, avoiding inevitable collision with your eye and the tears that follow.

4.

Chop the onion under the oven-hood - with it turned on of course! Propanethial-S oxide in the air should be sucked away keeping you safe.

5.

Wear some goggles. This will protect your eyes but not your nose. It also won’t stop the rest of your housemates suffering but at least you’ll be safe!

Epigram

05.11.2012

15

Do dolphins deserve human rights?

Sol Milne Science Reporter I have always wanted to talk to animals. Just a sit down conversation: ‘Does everything we humans do seem really bizarre and pointless to you?’

At this year’s annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in Canada, it was proposed by various experts on cetaceans that due to overwhelming scientific evidence, cetaceans should receive the status of non human-persons.

As such they should receive the legal protection that would bind any individual. The group cetacean includes whales, dolphins and

porpoises.

The claim that dolphins and whales can be considered nonhuman persons is asserted in not only a biological sense but also philosophically. Their level of self-awareness is comparable to that of a human and they have reacted to particular tests the same way a human would.

This road to recognition of sentience has happened in the past; slavery was justified by past civilizations because the

Flikr: Bodhi Surf

“Their level of self-awareness is comparable to that of a human”

people they were subjugating were at the time, accepted to be less than people. The attitude regarding this practice has changed radically now that we understand that we are all people and all have equal rights. For cetaceans, however, they are in many ways completely unlike us. If it took us this long to recognize our equality within our own species, it is not surprising that we have only just arrived at the conclusion that other species may be considered ‘people’ too.

Dr Lori Marino of Emory University in Atlanta explained how some scientific advances have illustrated the complexity of the cetacean brain. Dolphins in an experiment had to press one of two levers to distinguish between sounds from underwater speakers. Some of the sounds were very similar and by pressing a third lever they could communicate to the researchers that they were struggling and wanted to ‘pass’ on a particular test. ‘When you place dolphins in a situation like that they respond in exactly the same way humans do; they are accessing their own minds and thinking their own thoughts.’ said Dr Lori Marino.

It is still difficult to put the intelligence of these animals into context; it is an intellect that is completely different and mystifying to our own. However there are comparisons to be made between the cetacean brain and our own. ‘It’s different in the way it’s put together,’ says Dr Lori Marino, ‘but in terms of the level of complexity it is very similar to the human brain.’

There are however, a few habits we do share with dolphins. We both have names. As infants, they develop a kind of whistlename that stays with them for the rest of their life. This name is specific to each dolphin and its unique nature is such that they identify with it even when they do not recognize the voice that made the call. Researchers in Florida synthesized the calls made and played them in a robotic dolphin call and the dolphins notably reacted to the call. Dolphins have also been known to understand a large

range of sentences made from hand gestures, not from the basis of repetition but from the comprehension of a vocabulary.

Dolphins are also one of the few animals to engage in sex for the pleasure of it.

There are countless examples of intelligence and compassion conveyed by cetaceans and scientific evidence backs up the claim that cetacean intelligence is complex to the point of actually rivalling our own.

Further research needs to be conducted with wild dolphins because it is simply fascinating.

Captive dolphins, particularly those caught in the wild are useful and close observation has yielded data from these experiments; however these non- human persons do not belong in ‘enclosures’ - they belong in the wild. Only in their domain can we truly begin to understand their so far, little known culture.

These persons, like us, need protection from persecution.

For cetaceans, this comes in the form of whaling and capture of smaller cetaceans for subjugation and mistreatment

in ‘amusement parks’. The dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan, has been going on for decades yet a lack international pressure and the support of profiting organizations all over the world spurs this brutal practice on. The proposal of legal protection for cetaceans as individuals is an ambitious movement yet a necessary one when we begin to recognize the presence of intelligence beyond ourselves.

Science and media: a lethal combination Anastasia Skamarauskas Science Reporter When it comes to media coverage, most people know not to believe everything they hear. Rumours about celebrities and scandals can be

outrageous and exaggerated and are taken as such; rumours.

But is it always so easy? When it comes to science reporting it can be harder to differentiate.

Unfortunately getting it wrong with science can be a bit more damaging than believing celebrity gossip.

There have been more than a few cases of news organisations and newspapers reporting theories as truth before they can be proven or evidence is gathered. Even more dangerous perhaps is when they fail to tell the whole story and report something without giving vital

flikr: Tricia Wang

information. The most wellknown example would be of the MMR scare. In 1998 a study was published that linked MMR and autism and it was leapt upon by the media at the time.

It was only revealed later that the study was conducted on twelve children and the work was completely discredited by the scientific community.

However the damage was done and worried parents stopped vaccinating their children.

The link between this and the subsequent rise in cases of measles, mumps and rubella in children is recognised as significant and the growing number of children with the diseases is worrying.

There have been more recent cases such as the E. coli outbreak in Europe. The German media accused Spanish produce, especially cucumbers, to be the cause of sixteen deaths; however it was quickly found this was not the case. The uproar caused a significant drop in the importing of Spanish

produce and reportedly cost exporters £120 million a week.

It was European news and most of the continent latched onto the claims. This resulted in significant damage to Spain’s agricultural sector.

These are the big cases where it caused significant damage,

“Unfortunately getting it wrong with science can be a bit more damaging than believing celebrity gossip.” but misreporting can also cause confusion and damage on smaller scales. There were reports of a study linking sleeping pills with early death.

However the reason for taking the medication e.g. recovering from illness or injury, was not included in the study and this information was often overlooked by reports.

There are times when a panicked nation reacts to a headline and it is understandable. Swine flu and bird flu were portrayed in an almost plague like fashion.

While it is a serious illness it was blown out of all proportion.

By November 2009, around 140 people had died of swine flu in the US. Compare this to the 4000 people that die of influenza in the UK each year and maybe the word ‘pandemic’ was overused. The hard thing to do is find a balance. When to listen to the news that smoking is bad for you or asbestos can cause cancer, and when to be cynical about chickens transmitting bird flu. As with all news reported, as soon as a story is discovered, maybe a little cynicism is a good thing.

Science is about evidence so until there is a little more proof and little less hype in the media; don’t believe everything you read.

05.11.2012

Letters

Editor: Lucy de Greeff letters@epigram.org.uk

Want to write in?

Bristol a ‘university aimed at the social elite’

The letter written by the anonymous postgraduate student in issue 253 of Epigram is one that paints a picture of Bristol University students being able to transcend supposed ‘class divides’ by engaging with their intelligence. Whilst I think this happens in some cases, I think the postgraduate completely misses the point that this University still has deeply-entrenched class divisions that run right to its core.

The postgraduate is correct when he/she writes that people from all sorts of backgrounds can bond over common interests – be that

“This university still has deeply entrenched class divisions”

from all backgrounds – for the ‘class above the rest’, it seems that they only continue with their ignorance because they fail to do so. The ‘class warfare’ that was mentioned in the brilliantly accurate Observer article from 2003 still persists today at this university and is passively being encouraged, ten years on. I would bet a substantial amount of money that the percentage of students in receipt of bursaries is substantially higher at Hiatt Baker and University Hall than in Wills Hall. If the university really is trying to stop such class division, why is this still the case?

Many people will say that I am just someone with a chip on my shoulder. Wrong. This is an issue that will not just go away, and has been a skeleton in the university’s closet for a number of years now. Ridiculous moves such as increasing the price of the full sports pass from £180 to £250 per year reinforce the perception that this is a university aimed at the social elite rather than for everybody and it will take more than just a token effort for this issue to go away.

Anonymous undergraduate

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sport, music, drama or cheese society – but there still exists a small tranche of students who, no matter how much encouragement, will choose to only associate themselves with people who they identify as being from the same socioeconomic backgrounds, and will often treat others who aren’t from their typically hyper-privileged bubble with shocking ignorance or indifference. They may not realise they’re guilty of such discrimination, but does this make it any more excusable?

People who claim that such class divisions do not exist are, frankly, either deluded or in denial. My department, geography, seems to have one of the worst cases: in each of

my attempts to reach out to such people, who in hindsight clearly had no interest in getting to know me, I was overcome with a barricade of silence, coldness, looks of derision and a general aura of ‘you-shouldn’t-be-talking-tous’. Their guffawing quickly stops when anyone outside of their clique approaches them, and the outsider is treated with hostility and condescension.

Only last term, one of my friends, who has a northern accent, was called ‘common’ to his face by one such student – apparently it was ‘banter’, but it sounded like something more along the lines of, ‘let’s all have a joke at his expense, because he’s not from our background’.

Make of that what you will, but to me it suggests a chronic case of class division.

One of the main reasons I’m so keen that it is confronted is because I think it is incredibly sad when certain people refuse to socialise and meet groups of people they may have never been exposed to before, when university is the ideal time to do this. I believe that university has enriched me as a person because I’ve had the chance to meet so many diverse people

Ok, so I appreciate that this isn’t really a cutting-edge, highend topic of discussion, but I’m pretty sure I have a good point, so bear with me. I’ve only just been back to Lizard Lounge this year (I’m not sure what took me so long but equally I’m not entirely sure what made me want to go back).

I’d heard the rumours about a new room (why this was such an interesting topic to raise in practicals, I don’t know) but was pretty annoyed, surprised and generally confused as to why they’ve put extra male toilets there, and none for females. Isn’t it obvious that the female toilets are constantly overcrowded?

After the amount of times I’ve tried to get in and have just given up because it’s full of girls throwing up or doing their make up, I would expect there to have been provisions made for those of us who just want to go and use the toilet.

As an extension to this whole annoyance, do we really want to be sitting around in that new room watching guys wander out of the toilet?

Sarah Glover 2nd year Medicine

Ever wondered if you’re in your own version of the Truman Show? Or starring in your very own Piers Morgan’s Life Stories?

The majority of people these days seem to believe so. It is becoming exceedingly apparent that today’s society is based on self-promotion, self-indulgence and being continually selfaware. With the prevalence of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and blogging, the world has become centred upon what you can tell everyone else about yourself. Checking in at the cinema with so and so, posting a picture of yourself pre-makeup like the celebs, blogging about your take on this year’s trends… Welcome to the ‘me me me’ world of today.

Is it not arrogance to think anyone is interested? Egotistical to think you’re like a celebrity?

But then again, everyone who has had one minute of fame is a celebrity due to appear on Big Brother in the near future. Yet this is also a vicious cycle and one which is extremely hard to break. Social networking sites fuel this generation obsessed with themselves, and in return we get sucked into it. I don’t absolve myself of guilt either. I check Facebook and Twitter all too often; feeling horrified and addicted all at once- a similar experience to watching Big Brother. Perhaps this is the next stage beyond Big Brother? We go from watching ‘celebrities’ in a house, surveying their every move and daily activity, to now gradually usurping their place. Though Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four was a horrific nightmare of what was to come, we have seemingly happily embraced it. We welcome the surveillance, the monitoring of our lives. We confess our sins in Room 101 A.K.A. Piers Morgan’s Life Stories but without the torture - unless you count Morgan’s impertinent questions as an experience of agony as I do. Why do so many celebrities feel the need to write autobiographies at the tender age of 21? Their meaningful life thus far is disseminated to the world in a series of confessions and self-involved drivel. Thus,

one can chart the accumulative effect of voyeurism and willing subject. Social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter may offer the option to keep in touch with friends on the other side of the world, but they also proffer the chance for peer-to-peer monitoring and an unhealthy obsession with comparing ourselves to others.

Not only this, they allow virtual stalking and cyber bullying to thrive.

Today’s society also seems to have a voyeuristic twist; we compare ourselves against our peers on Facebook, what they have, what we don’t have, what our ex-partner is doing now.

All this leads to an unhealthy lifestyle where we cannot let go.

Indeed, it also leads to a sort of identity crisis in which our identity is shaped in view of a social media persona, where the only way you can define yourself is by people knowing about you. Such interplay between the population and intrusive networking sites may pose the question- where are the boundaries? We scold the paparazzi for their invasive nature and revealing photos and yet someone is buying the magazines that print them.

And here is the crux of the argument- we are hooked in a cycle of watching and being watched and we are the ones that fuel it. The increasing diet of a fly-on-the-wall attitude and self-involvement leads us to think it is normal to Google people and even for papers to hack people’s phones. By perpetuating our internet addiction we normalise and blur the boundaries between acceptable and downright wrong. Regular updates of your every movement or thought perhaps make some Facebook users feel like they are a minicelebrity with every ‘like’ or comment they receive from their adoring fans.

Yet one must refrain from doing so for two reasons.

1. Such information is available to everyone, to use and manipulate as they wish.

2. No-one cares.

Olivia Ward

photo: flickr: boltron-

Epigram

Epigram 50 years of 007 - James Bond special page 27

Interview with Marina & The Diamonds

Are sex strikes women’s best political weapon? page 9

Blumenthal on a budget

page 23

e2

Issue 252

Issue 252 r

Monday 8th Octobe 2012

13 Obama drama: Film and politics in the US election page 27

Palma Violets interviewed page 25

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Issue 252

Issue 253 Monday 22nd October 2012

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Bristol University

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Are boobs news?

The Page Three Debate

Page 11

bers Student num increased by 600

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University of

Jemma Buckley News Editor

Newspaper Harry Engels

of Bristol student us A University died in ambiguo has tragically resulted that may have a bin circumstances crushed inside in him being a friend. night out with from lorry after a - a 22 year old Garrett Elsey Canada - had enrolled Sherwood Park, in International , to start his Masters School of Sociology Security in the onal Studies Internati one Politics and in the UK just d. and had been incident happene day when the found by workers Elsey’s body was on Thursday at around 10.20am the New Earth er at plant 27th Septemb - a recycling Solutions centre Police cordoned th. areas in Avonmou al bins in nine tions off commun whilst investiga body across Bristol d into how his were conducte the site. ended up at could have he was picked It is now believed d on page 3 continue

Marek Allen

Less than half of students satisfied with Union

05.11.2012

Exclusi of with Chairman c British Olympi Association

Page 32

Gym pass heroes back pay as you : Students win go Sports pass

A campaign spearh University to bring eaded by the Students’ Union and back Pay As You Go the access to the sports Underwater Society has forced the halls and swimming pool Zaki Dogliani the availability

of the ‘pay and Deputy News Editor play’ – peak – option for the or £150 – off-peak coming year at – to use the the facilities pool and sports would hall. We will review the impact of Following a campaign ‘Stand against this the claims of and petition the year in discussionthroughout affordability spearheaded by and the University accessibility with the put of student sabbaticals Bristol Students’ forward by the Union (UBU) and and sports club university, a representatives.’ marginalising number of sports casual users clubs – primarily and threatening the the University of Underwater Club’s existence of many Bristol Underwater The Joe Hawksworth University of Bristol’s longest welcomed the decision Club – the university of Bristol’s International standing sports has partially Affairs clubs.’ reversed its decision ‘This is clearly fantastic Society (IAS) has cancelled to abolish the news for a talk from all societies affected Pay As You Go Hannah Pollak, Respect MP (PAYG) system by the changes UBU’s Vice George Galloway for and students President of Sport the sports hall and wishing to use facilities swimming pool. and Health, after his controversial comments told Epigram on a casual basis,’ Students can now about what that the U-turn he told Epigram. use facilities on constitutes rape.

‘Demonstrates a Pay As You Go According to an Galloway defended the power of basis at off-peak online petition Wikileaks the founder student voice set up by the times – weekdays Julian Assange and willingness Students’ Union until 3.30pm and in a video of uploaded to the university and the Underwater any time at weekends.

YouTube in which to listen. This Club - which he is a says that the rape really positive received 1497 signatures Simon Hinks, Director allegations levelled start [...] however, at of before Sport and decision Assange have no Lynn Robinson, was revised - scrapping the continued efforts will be basis because Deputy Registrar, made by having sex with Pay elected officers As You Go and requiring announced they a woman whilst to ensure that would ‘Reinstate she students to students is sleeping does all purchase gym membershi not constitute rape. have equal access ‘Not everybody p for £250 facilities’, to sports needs to be Pollak added. asked prior to each insertion.

Read more on page 35 Continued on page 3

George Galloway disinvited after rape comments

Can studen and locals ts co-exist?

The Big Debate Page 11 Should some companies be banned from sponsorships?

Page 32

Epigram Vacancies (UBU).

What’s On editor

Our What’s On editor needs to have a good knowledge of the local area and all it has to offer. You will liaise with local museums, theatres, club promoters and more to ensure that Epigram lets students know about the best of Bristol. Experience of Adobe InDesign is useful, but not required.

Please send your CV along with an ideas sheet outlining what you would like to see in the section and two examples of your writing to editor@epigram.org.uk.

Deputy Science and Technology editor The ideal candidate will have a good general knowledge of science and technology and have strong writing abilities. You will work with the Science and Technology editor to commision and lay up eye catching copy in our fortnightly paper.

Please send your CV along with an ideas sheet outlining what you would like to see in the section and two examples of your writing to editor@epigram.org.uk.

Treasurer

You will work closely with our senior editors and advertising team to keep track of Epigram’s accounts and increase the newspaper’s income. You should be experienced in using Microsoft Excel and be able to explain complicated money matters to those less experienced.

To apply, please send your CV, along with an email briefly outlining why you want to work for Epigram to editor@epigram.org.uk.

Proofreaders We are looking to increase the size of our proofreading team. As a proofreader, it is your job to make sure that Epigram is free from errors, and that all articles adhere to Epigram’s style guide. You will should an excellent understanding of the English language and be obsessive about grammar.

To apply, please email editor@epigram.org.uk briefly outlining why you want to work for Epigram.

Applications close on Wednesday 14th November

Crossword

Sudoku

Puzzles

ACROSS 1. Preference, favouritism (4) 3. Surgically remove (8) 9. Fine food (7) 10. Hunting horn (5) 11. Excessively fat (5) 12. Repeated phrase (6) 14. Special, beyond normal (13) 17. End; Complete (6); 19. Hang fabric over (5) 22. Moving joint (5) 23. Divide, Section (7) 25. Radio (8) 26. Crown of light (4)

DOWN 1. Plead (3) 2. Tight angle (5) 4. Transformation (13) 5. Relating to the city (5) 6. North African country (7) 7. Fencing sword (4) 8. Single celled animal (6) 11. Portent (4) 13. Sort, kind (4) 15. Diluting agent, e.g. paint ___ (7) 16. Rainbow colour (6) 18. Perfect (5) 20. Stadium (5) 21. Masticate (4) 24. Pair (3)

Go down in history as the person who cured blood cancer You could save the life of someone with blood cancer by donating your bone marrow. So achieve greatness.

Join the Anthony Nolan donor register – all you need to do is spit in a tube.

Fancy helping us find more lifesavers at the University of Bristol?

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Be the cure. Sign up today at www.anthonynolan.org/bethecure

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CULTURE

Flickr: Jurvetson

Arts Pick of the Fortnight

Music Pick of the Fortnight

Obama: Africa’s Icon RWA 1-11 November Free www.rwa.org.uk

Drive/College Colston Hall 2 16th October, 7.30pm £15 www.colstonhall.org.uk

In his new exhibition, Obama: Africa’s Icon, writer, director and photographer Henry Hook presents a series of photographs capturing the continent’s relationship with Obama, whose image ‘holds an almost totemic power’. The series documents the ‘heroic’ status Obama holds across Africa, whose population has claimed him as one of them.

Nicolas Winding Refn’s 2011 film Drive was an 80s homage in both sound and style, and this special double bill at Colston Hall will pay tribute to its neo-noir charms. A screening of the film will follow a set by French electronic producer College, whose song ‘A Real Hero’ was the highlight of the film’s soundtrack.

Film Pick of the Fortnight KeeptheLightsOn Out now An exploration of a love affair between a documentary maker and a lawyer in New York, Keep the Lights On has earned comparisons with Brokeback Mountain in its depiction of gay love. However, it would be unfair to reduce it to that, as Keep the Lights On is a strong portrayal of sex, friendship, addiction and love in its own right.

Epigram

05.11.2012

Arts

Editor: Rosemary Wagg

Deputy Editor: Rachel Schraer

arts@epigram.org.uk

deputyarts@epigram.org.uk

@EpigramArts

I See No Evil On Nelson Street

Don’t call it graffiti: One year on, Claudia Knowles revisits the work of street artist Inkie to label art works like these as ‘graffiti’? There is a drastic difference between the street art gracing the buildings of Nelson Street and the unintelligible, moronic slap dash sprays of bored teenagers on park benches. When the council chose to remove the attempted defacement of a Banksy artwork at the bottom of Park St, yet allowed the original artwork to remain they effectively endorsed this distinction.

If we also accept this view, then what Inkie has successfully coordinated could be called an exhibition of some of the world’s finest street artists: ‘The Nelson Street Gallery exhibits works through the medium of spray-paint on a canvas of concrete and brick’ could well run beneath a See No Evil promotional poster. Surely such a high-brow, almost mundane and quite shockingly conservative commercial concept completely contradicts the origins of street art; is this really what the young Inkie in the Old Crown Courtroom expected to conform to?

Well, no. And I believe he has not. It is not that street artists have succumbed to the authorities and commercialism, but that the authorities and the public have fallen for the irresistible excitement of stumbling across immense works of art in unexpected areas. Inkie’s significant work with Bristol City council, the Swiss Embassy and other corporations exemplifies the extraordinary progress society has made in accepting and embracing true talent regardless of previous taboos. Meanwhile, street art itself continues to push the boundaries of what can be classified as ‘art’; by increasing in size (Walker’s pinstripesuited-man accompanied by SheOne’s abstract design is the UK’s largest street art mural), in colour and most prominently by stretching all boundaries of the imagination.

Claudia Knowles

This time last year I was given the opportunity to interview one of Bristol’s most recognisable street artists, Inkie. Once again this summer Nelson Street was transformed, by artistic talent sourced by Inkie, into an urban jungle of Italian mechanical beasts (Pixel Pancho), Belgian monochromatic foxes (Roa), and Bristolian bowler-hats (Nick Walker). In the year since my last encounter with the orchestrator of Britain’s multi-coloured concrete haven, Inkie’s signature art-deco women have been seducing street art fanatics on an international scale.

Inkie’s artistic hand has barely had time to lay a spray can down - receiving commissions from the Swiss Embassy for their base during the London Olympics, and dabbling in an entirely different artistic field during London Fashion Week when Fred Butler x Redbull requested the bar of Salon to be adorned with his trademark stylised ladies.

Yet does this commercial success and notably over-ground critical acclaim reveal that graffiti has, in recent years, strayed from the spraypainting rebellious attitude it once invoked? The current popular reputation of street-art is almost unrecognisable when compared to the disdain it received in the 1980s.

The choice of Nelson Street as a canvas remembers Inkie’s former struggle against the authorities and council that have now funded the See No Evil campaign. Indeed, Inkie’s own artdeco piece looks onto Bristol’s Old Crown Court - the magistrate’s office in which Inkie, along with others, was trialled for the ‘vandalism’ that is now the cause of his fame. Bristol in particular has become a centre of revolutionary public opinion towards street-art, as seen with the success of the 2009 Banksy vs. Bristol Museum exhibition.

Given this change in attitude, is it still appropriate

Inkie is exhibiting at The Bank, Stokes Croft, on the 6th December this year. You may already have spotted his work on the streets of Bristol, Amsterdam, at Croatia’s Soundwave festival and also in the recent Coca Cola adverts, for which Inkie collaborated with Cosmo Sarsen to create the 21m high vending machine on Brick Lane.

The Joys of Venturing Further Afield Arts columnist, Arabella Noortman coaxes students outside of their triangular comfort zone I can’t bear it! Plenty of people go through this rigmarole because there isn’t really any alternative, and frankly you’re none the wiser when you first get here. What’s really shameful is that many students continue to behave like this for the rest of their time in Bristol, ignoring the eclectic well of places and things elsewhere

‘Free entry if you dress up as a moomin.’ in the city. Of course I agree with the adage of ‘each to their own’, but I am appealing to those of you who haven’t yet ventured further afield to go out of your comfort zone and do so.

Stokes Croft is an amazing hub of bars, cafes and restaurants, eschewing chains – each place is completely individual and reasonably priced.

Try the Canteen for live music in the evenings, and fantastic food, or the Arts Café for some tea and afternoon reading. The Runcible Spoon and Pocco are two great restaurants also in the area, with interesting dishes using fresh, seasonal produce.

For culture, the Arnolfini Art gallery

never fails to intrigue, even if it does sometimes prove to be a bit pretentious. If you walk up from there along the harbourside, you reach the Watershed, an independent cinema that also hosts fascinating talks on a variety of topics. The Cube cinema is of a similar ilk, but a bit quirkier, and also hosts nights such as ‘Moomin Night’ (where they played Moomin episodes and had a Finnish food buffet – free entry if you dressed up as a Moomin).

If you have dramatic inclinations there is of course the Bristol Old Vic, the UK’s longest running theatre, and the Tobacco Theatre is another great venue, which sometimes hosts Bristol University productions.

Finally let us not forget that Bath is only ten minutes away on a train, and is quite spectacularly beautiful. Filled with antique shops and delis, as well as the famous baths, it’s a wonderful opportunity for a romantic, Jane Austen-esque day trip if you want a change of scene.

Arabella Noortman

Claudia Knowles

Claudia Knowles

Before I came to Bristol, one of things I most eagerly anticipated about my university experience was the opportunity to explore a new city. The joy of stumbling upon cafes, venues and views: becoming familiar with a place that was at first foreign and unknown. By the time you leave, the city reads like a sprawling map of all those places you discovered and the experiences you had. Besides, variety is the spice of life, right?

Right. Well then, why is it that a large portion of the student body seems content spending their entire three years here between the confines of their residence, Woodland road, and the Triangle? We’re in Bristol - a beautiful city, filled with dreamy, perfectly proportioned Georgian architecture. A city with a diverse and pioneering music scene; multiple cafes with comfy sofas and ethically sourced food; traditional and avant-garde theatre in equal measure; art of aesthetic value all over the streets; green space galore… the list goes on.

The question you must ask yourselves is, does your student life extend beyond the aforementioned university confines? If the answer is no, then perhaps you simply haven’t realised the full extent that Bristol has to offer? The notion that drinking copious amounts of alcohol and going on bar crawls down Whiteladies Road is the best way to have fun and make friends is the implicit message you receive on arrival at the university.

You get taken to clubs like Bunker with sticky floors and too many people – but if you throw up before you get there, that’s totally fine. Yah? No! No, no, no! It’s so unfathomably depressing

Epigram

05.11.2012

23

The Picture of Cal Macaninch Rosemary Wagg interviews the man playing ‘My Dear Robbie’ in David Hare’s The Judas Kiss

Hampstead Theatre

Anastasia RReynolds

comparison to Wilde. The Canadian critic’s ashes now share Wilde’s Parisian tomb he initiated the construction of, yet for those without the requisite level of Wildean mania, he remains relatively unknown. This could make Ross a marginally boring character. More worryingly, if he were to be acted wrongly, suggestions of sycophancy could creep in.

On the opening night in Bath, Macaninch’s performance certainly avoids the latter, mainly through his constant desire to do what is best for Wilde and not allow for short-term gratification.

Ross, Macaninch says, is a ‘pretty satisfying

Dispatches From Russia

“The urge is to underline every sentence, every quote.” character to play. I don’t think he is just ‘nice’.

I don’t play ‘nice’!’ The gravity of the character lies with him having a constant objective, and the drama this creates. As Wilde’s first male lover, Ross has issues of jealousy directed towards the flippant and misguided Bosie. More than any other aspect of the play, this tension between the steadfast Ross, the muddled Wilde and the flighty Bosie creates the universalizing facet of the story.

Instead of being solely about homosexuality in Victorian Britain, it becomes about the fatalistic choices people make between the ones they should love and the ones they, sometimes unfortunately, do.

Macaninch loses his own Scots voice to play the role with in RP English, despite Ross actually having a Canadian accent. For historical purists this may be puzzling, but despite Macaninch originally training with a Canadian voice coach, play write David Hare felt the audience would be more disconcerted by the unexplained appearance of a North American in the play, than a few historians would be by the change in vowels.

Ross developed the accent solely from his mother and in fact lived in England from a very early age.

Macaninch tells me this in the kind of quickened voice academics save for their specialist subject

Theatre Royal Bath

The very idea of an aged and matured – yes, just like port – Rupert Everett acting Oscar Wilde in a play about the Victorian dramatist’s tragic later years, is enough on its own to induce excitement.

Couple this with congratulatory early reviews of the man’s performance in pre-West End shows and we have the promise of ‘Everett as Wilde’ gaining iconic status.

However, it is of course rare – or even impossible – that an actor can produce such gold dust in amongst a cast of rubble. In this instance Everett forms the centre section of a triptych. On his left is the mesmerising Narcissus, Lord Alfred ‘Bosie’ Douglas as played by the kitten-hipped Freddie Fox and on his right is the infallible Robbie Ross, played by Cal Macaninch who, through his love for Wilde, devotes his life to preventing Wilde precipitating his own downfall.

Playing the role of Ross opposite Everett’s Wilde is analogous to actually being Ross in

and I get the impression there are many more of these geeky tidbits saved in his brain from his research on Ross before taking the role.

Two other subjects equally excite him: Wilde and Everett. He is currently reading The Picture of Dorian Gray and, despite more frequently quoting Hare as Wilde, admits, ‘The urge is to underline every sentence, every quote. You say ‘Oh! I’m going to remember that!’ but by tomorrow you have forgotten that and found other ones. He is just a genius.’

Whilst issuing notes of caution: ‘I don’t want to talk about awards and things’ he describes Everett’s performance as ‘extraordinary’. His costar Freddie Fox and him are ‘very proud’ of the man they revolve around. Everett and himself, he tells me, met years ago working as extras in Glasgow before Everett went off to be a movie star. ‘It is wonderful to be reunited with him,’ says Macaninch, suggesting continually that whilst he apparently cannot act ‘nice’, he certainly radiates the quality in real life.

Chekov’s Three Sisters Taste a Sugar Rush With no Moscow to Dream of,Toby Dove considersThree Sisters at London’s New Vic Theatre Imagine, for a second, that Chekhov had not in fact written the Three Sisters on a cold, autumnal Russian day in 1900, but had actually written it in 2012, at 2 o’clock in the morning after one too many Red Bulls. If you are capable of conjuring such an image, then you are close to being able to imagine what Benedict Andrews’ adaptation has on offer.

It’s Chekhov with a twist. Andrews has the characters doing things we wouldn’t normally associate with classic literature, like using swear words beginning with ‘c’ and rocking out to

Nirvana. At first glance this may all seem a bit ‘over the top’ or some might even say ‘crude’ but this is not the case. As a wise man once said: ‘either go hard or go home’, and I feel this applies when trying to make modern adaptations of theatrical classics. In order to make an audience look at an old play in a new way, you need to be radical.

The staging of the play is radical in its minimalism, which appropriately amplifies the bleakness of the sisters’ lives and prospects. The performance is carried out upon movable grey tables pushed together to form a large stage, at the rear of which is a huge pile of dirt, upon which the sisters stoically huddle in the final moments

captures so well: the big fantasy that distracts from the little reality.

By giving the play an energydrink induced sugar rush, the characters become just that bit more hyperactively deluded, and as a result that bit more tragic. Yet, as I plodded out of the Young Vic I didn’t so much pity Masha, Tuzenbach, or even Kulygin. I felt miserable for me. In these times of recession and unemployment, what do I have if I don’t have my own ‘Moscow’ to dream of ? Andrews’ modernisation of Three Sisters couldn’t have been timed any better. With graduate prospects looking pretty rough, none of us want to end up like the sisters, in a rut and deluded by our out-of-reach goal: ‘Moscow’. And worryingly, like the sisters, it could easily turn out that way without us even realising. As Olga so ominously ends the play: “If only we knew, if only we knew.”

The New Vic

As a wise man once said: ‘either go hard or go home’

of the last act. Despite the stage being so basic, I did feel it was effectively used. For example, it is gradually disassembled in the latter acts, after the destructive fire, but more importantly after the sisters begin to realize that their dream of making it to Moscow is probably just that finger’s width out of reach. Again, some might have the audacity to describe this metaphor as rather crude. However, it is done so subtly over the course of the performance, that I didn’t really notice it until Irena was virtually cut off from the other characters on her own island of grey stage.

It could be said then, that the brashness of Solyony’s swearing and the unexpectedness of Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ creates a bleary haze that temporarily distracts us from what’s really going on in the play. Our attention is diverted from the subtleties, and they therefore hit us so much harder when we see them. That moment for me, was when poor Kulygin walks in on his wife (Masha) uncontrollably weeping at her lover’s (Vershinin) departure, and then him trying to console her in an embarrassed, emasculated tone, ‘I’m not accusing you. Olga as my witness. We can start again – go back to how it was before..’

Up until that point I had been so transfixed on the intensity of Masha and Vershinin’s affair that I hadn’t actually considered Kuygin, the unassuming schoolteacher. At that point I felt sad not just for him, but sad at my own naivety.

This is the aspect of Three Sisters that Andrews

Anastasia Reynolds encounters Radioactive Wolves There were banners all over the town, hung over every street, plastered on every bus stop.

The Baikal Film Festival was coming. Theme: Man and Nature. Be there.

OK, I thought, that could be quite fun. I took a picture of an advert, paid no attention to it, and forgot about it for a week.

On Saturday lunchtime, I had a text from Sasha telling me to zip up Baikalskaya Street, across the hydroelectric dam, and into the Dom Kino pronto to soak up some culture because IN THIS HALL IT’S FREE. (Yes, the capitals were hers, but as a good parsimonious student, I adopt them here).

“Everyone ought to be able to say they’ve seen a film called Radioactive Wolves.”

So I zipped, and watched two things: one was Radioactive Wolves, a film by Austrian director Klaus Feichtenberger. It’s about ecosystems in Chernobyl, although, as he pointed out, nobody would watch a film called Ecosystems in Chernobyl.

It’s actually very good, with stunning photos and lots of wolves, bison-buffalo-yak-big cow things (yes, I am the next David Attenborough); deer; footage from the 1986 disaster and aerial photos. I strongly recommend it – it’s on Youtube masquerading as S30E01 of PBS Nature (It’s subtitled into Bulgarian or something, but don’t let that put you off). Everyone ought to be able to say they’ve seen a film called Radioactive Wolves.

After the film, Mr Feichtenberger (who is a real sweetie) stayed and took questions, telling us about the dangers of Chernobyl (hungry wild boar and falling into holes, apparently – not radiation as such), filming wolves (they’re quite cuddly, really) and having fun with Geiger counters – it seems that the key to not getting radiation poisoning is not to eat the soil in Chernobyl… I’d have thought that would be fairly straightforward, but apparently one of the camera crew did by mistake and had to be whisked off to a Belorussian hospital.

The second film also hailed from Central Europe, ‘The Fourth Revolution: Energy Autonomy’ by Carl Fechner, a German director.

This was a worthy film, well-meaning and pretty interesting too; unfortunately I was distracted by the fact that it was in German, subtitled into English, then dubbed into Russian, with some bits in French and Bengali, so spent some of it in fits of silent pseudo-intellectual linguist’s giggles. Anyway, it’s about ways of making the production of renewable energy both feasible and cost-effective, even in poor areas of the world like Mali and Bangladesh, amd it explores biofuels, insulation, microfinance and education as well.

Additionally, I thought it was nice that the directors were there to talk about their work.

And I also liked that it was free on a chilly October afternoon.

Epigram

05.11.2012

24

Two for the Mantelpiece

Meetings with my alter-ego M-shed takes a reality check with National Portrait Gallery exhibition

The 16th October was a memorable day for author Hilary Mantel as her new novel, Bring up the Bodies was awarded The Man Booker Prize ‘For vitality, for fierce intelligence and, most of all, prose’. Having previously won the accolade in 2009 for Wolf Hall, the prequel to this year’s winner, she becomes the first British writer – and female – to win the title twice. Her win is even more impressive as the 2012 shortlist has been described as the strongest and most varied of recent years, including Will Self’s Umbrella and Jeet Thayil’s debut novel Narcopolis.

The winning book is chosen by a panel of five judges, which changes annually. Former editor of The Times, Peter Stothard, who described Mantel as ‘arguably our greatest modern English writer’, chaired the 2012 jury, which also included Downton Abbey heartthrob Dan Stevens. Whilst this may seem a peculiar inclusion, Stevens is familiar with the Booker through having recorded the audiobook for Wolf Hall, as well as playing Nick Guest in the BBC production of Hollinghurst’s A Line of Beauty, a previous winner of the prize.

Their gruelling task of whittling down the 145 submitted books– the highest number yet – to a longlist of twelve and then a shortlist of six, is not to be underestimated. Mantel is herself no stranger to the challenge, as she sat on the panel in 1990, and helped select A.S. Byatt’s Possession as the triumphant book. In her acceptance speech in London, she acknowledged and offered her thanks to the judges ‘whose task, in any year, is a difficult and delicate one.’

What seems to have so effortlessly engaged readers in Bring up the Bodies – the second installment of the trilogy depicting of the rise and fall of Thomas Cromwell – is the way Mantel brings the period to vivid and immediate life. Perhaps because the tale is told through Cromwell’s eyes, the reader feels an acute sense of empathy. Technology, lifestyle and society may have changed immensely since the early 16th century but raw, human emotions remain the same, and this is where Mantel finds a commonplace for her readers and characters.

Approval has also been lavished on Mantel’s style – she spares not a word and her subtle conveyance of quotidian lifestyle reflects her years of experience.

Along with the £50,000 prize

I am at M Shed for the preview of Real and Imagined Lives. The guests’ hubbub is hushed.

The Deputy Director of the National Portrait Gallery, Pim Baxter, elegant and generous, is introducing the exhibition. She acknowledges the collaboration of Bristol University in the curation of the fourteen portraits from her gallery at the heart of the show. The ‘imagined’ lives: people thought to be known but who have transpired to be unknown.

In fact the exhibition is two shows in one in three different media: portraits from the NPG in historic paint and contemporary photography, matched by creative writing by famous and local writers.

The mystery portraits are good pictures. French, Flemish, Dutch and English and dated between 1520 and 1640. Rather more is known about these ‘unknowns’ than the headlines suggest.

They have certainly undergone a degree of social mobility. Thus the oldest, Margaret Tudor Queen of Scotland, is demoted to Flemish noblewoman whilst the tender pink cheeked poet, Thomas Overbury, has risen to illegitimate son of the Queen’s favourite, the Earl of Leicester. Lady Arabella Stewart, potentially a dynastic rival to Queen Bess, wisely takes the downside of doubt and poses as an unknown gentlewoman. Others have shed dukedoms, respectively of Norfolk, Buckingham and Monmouth, the latter to escape the scaffold for the comfort of dying in bed in his picture.

The artists are largely unknown proving the aphorism that while great artists have their failures; great paintings can be produced by unknown painters.

Stellar pictures include the watercolour and pencil pattern for a portrait of (surely it must be) Queen Elizabeth, and the dazzling portrait (c 1570) acquired in 1860 in the belief of it’s being Mary Queen of Scots. The gentle face above the exaggerated ruff expressive of tenderness; the costume and the jewellery as splendid in its way as any portrait of the great Queen. All set against trees in a landscape suffused with light – a blend of English, Flemish and Italian.

Contrasting in style and palette are two works of 60 years later known to be by the British born painter of German Flemish extraction, Cornelius Johnson, one possibly a self portrait. The quiet accomplishment of these pictures supports the claim that Johnson was significant in this period.

Out in the centre of the gallery are the ‘real’ lives (as real as boy Robin of ‘robbing banks’

money and a designer bound copy of their book, the winning author automatically becomes publishing gold as they see their book sales soar and can enjoy – or panic at – the thought of having an eager audience readily awaiting whatever they publish next. As the prize can give such a great platform to emerging authors, it is hard not to wonder whether it is fair that Mantel should win twice, having already felt the benefits of boosted recognition. Yet, as written in the rules, it is the particular book and not the author that wins the Booker. And it is clear that the praise for Bring up the Bodies is shared amongst both critics and general public; there are few shoddy comments or reviews to be found anywhere on either of Mantel’s prize-winning gems. What makes her an even more deserving winner, aside from her erudite talent, is her modesty – ‘I know how privileged and how lucky I am to be standing here tonight.’

In the meantime, we can look forward to a sixpart series currently being adapted for the BBC of her first two books whilst we wait for the third installment of the Tudor trilogy, The Mirror and the Light, an assignment described by Mantel as being ‘something very difficult’. Will she make it a hat trick?

Charlotte Stephen

National Portrait Gallery

‘You wait 20 years for a Booker prize,then two come along at once.’

Flikr:kuchingboy

fame).

‘An eclectic selection of photographic portraits of the NPG from 1956 to 2010’, Pim Baxter tells us, depicting celebrities who ‘at some point had some connection with Bristol.’ Some connections are more tenuous than others but five are through Bristol University and three through Badminton School, revealing that Iris Murdoch and Indira Gandhi were contemporaries there.

Striking images in this bravura group are of Damien Hirst, moody and intense; Gandi, a classic

by Karsh; Kwame Kwei-Armah (aka Ian Roberts) monumental by Ove and Rosamund Pike at home in the theatre.

As Pim Baxter explains, ‘Open the hinge on the panel by each celebrity for the take of a local creative writer on the public and private persona’, Renowned writers from Terry Pratchett to Tracy Chevalier can be heard recorded, reading their fictional pen portraits of the people who weren’t someone else.

On leaving, I take a detour on the first floor to see, in Bristol Life, contemporary artist Megan Davies’s portrait of Gran and the lads, Gran Turismo.

This too is witness to the power of the ‘unknown’ portrait to reveal, disguise and surprise. The show itself is recommended viewing, reading and listening.

Simon Baker

AStudent Book in the Life Of... entrepreneur and co-founder of an experimental baking company The Spoon Fools, Angelica Malin draws gastronomic inspiration from childhood favourite, Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” favourite that keep it in prime position on my bookshelf, but the fact that, the older you get, the more profound it seems to become: ‘I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.’

Oh how right you were, Lewis. It’s this kind of casual profundity in the mouth of an innocent

child, still filled with wonder, that makes the book so special; Alice in Wonderland has an adult philosophy in a child’s tale. Away from the confines of a regular narrative, the book pushes you to consider how much fiction penetrates our everyday lives. Madness: the acceptance of the bizarre, the out of the ordinary as a matter of course is something that we lose as we get older, but it’s something that is so elemental for the enjoyment of life’s pleasures.

That’s why our inventions for start-up baking company, The Spoon Fools, take such inspiration from the book—particularly for our Foolish Literary Range. Through creations such as the Mad Hatter’s Earl Grey Cake with Hot Buttered Toast icing, I hope to give others a taste of my love for this surreal novel with all its weird and wonderful characters. It has inspired me to share with others my taste for the unexpected, as The Spoon Fools seek to bring a slice of silliness into

the norm: the cake is our own piece of madness.

People often talk of books inspiring them, but I feel that I’ve taken this more literally than most, running a tea party class at the 102 Cookery

“It’s so elemental for the enjoyment of life’s pleasures.”

School in Stokes Croft—where my partner-in-cake, Claudine Levy and I have been teaching keen amateur bakers to make Alice-themed recipes— complete with giant tea cups, bread and butter butterflies, tea cocktails, edible playing cards and inverse sandwiches. I think that if you allow the fiction to penetrate your reality then the world, too, becomes curiouser and curiouser.

Rosemary Wagg

There’s nothing quite like Alice in Wonderland.

For me, Lewis Caroll’s fantasy novel is just the kind of break from reality you need after the endless tea-drinking and essay-writing that accompanies the life of a Third Year. It’s not only the comforting associations of a childhood

Epigram

05.11.2012

26

Best of Bristol’s live music

Friday 19th October saw the music lovers of Bristol paralysed with indecision as three of the most promising gigs in recent months descended upon the city on the same night. Fortunately, our music writers were scattered across the city to capture noir-pop newcomers PINS, electronica pioneers NZCA/Lines, and post-rock specialists Errors.

PINS at the Louisiana Gothic all-girl quartet PINS have been on the receiving end of many a superlative in the last year, but before we’re graced with the presence of the country’s hottest new female group, the suspiciously male, middle-aged and sexually frustrated looking audience crammed into the Louisiana is treated to newcomers Tidal Wars. As part of Bristol’s strong Howling Owl Records roster, they’re one of the city’s most exciting new prospects, yet tonight they struggle to find much bite in their vaguely melancholic sound which is so heavily indebted to Joy Division that Peter Hook should be sending the bailiffs round. Following them are An Axe, a Bristolian mash up of furious drumming, cringe-worthy guitar theatrics, and subThe-Kills menace; further proof, if any was needed, that you can’t be a rock star while wearing a snood.

After this strange mix of fury and introspection, Manchester’s PINS finally set the tone right with a Phil-Spectoresque wall of thudding bass-lines, revolving melodies, and expansive noise.

Central to this is the chilling atmosphere that they create with a whites-of-the-eyes

intensity that is interrupted only briefly to throw more red wine down their necks, before embarking on another thrilling foray into taut and gloomy postpunk which is punctuated occasionally by cathartic outbursts which see frontwoman Faith Holgate eye the crowd with a maddened stare.

And whilst the testosterone packed audience tonight might suggest that PINS are on the receiving end of reverse sexism, as if it were a minor miracle that attractive young females possess the capacity to play guitars, the quality of the songs on display seem to prove that PINS have enjoyed their early success for musical rather than gender-related reasons. Ironically, though, the strength of ‘Shoot You’’s insistent guitars only highlights a couple of weaker tracks which get lost in their own ethereal haze.

Yet, considering their immense youth, having one or two less brilliant tracks is a more than forgivable crime when buried within such a powerful and self-assured set that suggests that PINS deserve every superlative that’s thrown their way.

Pierre Enume

Typesun Q&A Typesun first appeared on many people’s radar when his track ‘Last Home’ opened Futureboogie’s 10 compilation. In fact he has been a busy figure on the Bristol scene for some time, and ‘Heart Maths’, the first single from his upcoming album, was released last month. He answered a few questions for us.

Q: Could you give us a brief introduction to yourself, and your work as Typesun and 7 Arrows?

A: I’m a producer, songwriter, drummer and DJ, living and working in Bristol. I was born here and I’ve been a musician all my life. Typesun and 7 Arrows are just different aspects of the same thing. They just have slightly different protocols and they adapt to support each other. I play the drums in Guido’s live show and ‘Heart Maths’ is a piece that we wrote together.

Q: Where do you start when you come to write a new tune?

NZCA/Lines + oOoOO at Start the Bus

Errors + Dam Mantle at the Exchange

These two artists, making up a bumper Friday night line-up in a buoyant Start the Bus, seemed to prove once and for all that the tag of ‘electronic music’ has ceased to inform what the listener’s experience will be. Here electro-pop was juxtaposed with the recently coined genre of witch house, characterised by ethereal synths and ghostly vocal samples. NZCA/Lines took to the tiny stage with all the energy of a Depeche Mode throwback, but with such selfassurance that even the drummer and guitarist bopped and weaved their way around the equipment with ease. Frontman Michael Lovett easily brought life to the crowd and drew in further spectators from the bar area with his crisp falsetto and, at times, melodramatically passionate delivery. The whole effect was hugely impressive and bodes well for the start-up trio, overseen by prolific Hackney producer Charlie Alex March. As the crescendo of their final track died down, much of the crowd left with them.

Errors have found their home at Rock Action Records, the label owned and managed by mighty post-rock superstars and fellow Scots, Mogwai. This in itself is high praise indeed for an almost completely instrumental group that once described their sound as ‘mathid house’. Their glitchy post-electro sound works very well in the smaller venues and festival dance tents that they often inhabit, and they certainly feed off enthusiastic crowds.

Sporting an outstanding postrock beard, ‘frontman’ Stephen Livingstone often addressed the crowd in between songs through his reverb-addled microphone, but the only vocals to be found during the songs were wails designed to enhance the enchanting wallof-sound effect.

Their sound has become somewhat more ambient of late, and the release of their

After a brief interval, oOoOO (sadly for the camp among us, pronounced merely ‘oh’) swaggered on stage. Looking a far cry from the cerebral recording artist he is, in a baseball cap and bomber jacket, he proceeded to play many of the gossamer pieces from his two recent EPs, 2010’s oOoOO and this year’s Our Love is Hurting Us. The music was beautifully immersive, with its heavy peaks and troughs reverberating around the now sparse viewing area. It was, however, disappointing to see that much of his material was pre-recorded and he engaged in the music very little, except for the occasional adjustment of the knobs in front of him. The two distinct acts both provided excellent experiences, the aloof demeanour of oOoOO contrasting fascinatingly with the joyous extravagance of NZCA/Lines, and once again showed that electronic music has perhaps more variety and scope than any other form.

Dan Faber

third LP Have Some Faith In Magic earlier this year yielded some of their more interesting live tracks. Errors were joined on stage by Bek Olivia (of Magic Eye) for excellent new track ‘Relics’ - from their recently released mini-album New Relics (available on VHS!).

Other stand-out tracks included ‘Bridge or Cloud?’ and ‘Beards’ - the opener and closer from 2010’s Come Down With Me. The Glaswegian contingent was completed by talented and energetic producer Dam Mantle (AKA Tom Marshallsay), who managed to entertain both the gathered crowd and those hovering around the bar. ‘Movement’ and ‘RGB’ showcase his attempts to find a new direction in the very crowded scene of electro producers on the circuit.

Gareth Davies

Profile A: I work from the idea outwards. Then it’s a process of discovering how that initial seed wants to come into being. There has to be some charge there. That’s what brings in the water and light to make it happen. Sometimes it’s just as imagined, sometimes very different.

I don’t work on anything unless I know what I’m trying to express and why.

Q: What have been your best experiences as a punter?

Q: How about when putting together a new mix or DJ set?

A: I had a flashback at a McCoy Tyner solo show in London the other day. I literally didn’t speak for an hour afterwards. I remember feeling like he just played a universe into creation and it unfolded before my eyes.

Universes within universes. I was speechless that one man could do that and take us with him. I feel so lucky to have heard him play.

A: It’s a feeling about what wants to come through. If there’s nothing happening in my guts or my heart I won’t start. I’m more and more happy just being patient and letting everything line itself up. There’s a certain amount of disorientation/dissonance that I have to allow before any real direction emerges. I’m learning to be comfortable with that. Considering how long a set needs to be, what the venue is going to be, who’s going to be there - those practical concerns are what shapes the output. The same goes for when I write.

More recently there was a Caribou DJ set at Timbuk2 that had a similar effect. He was playing these intensely emotional techno records in such an honest and uncontrived way and it reminded me why what we do is so important. Something really important shifted for me that night and I couldn’t say exactly what it was, but it needed to happen and I can’t imagine it happening any other way. Those are the DJs and performers I’m interested in. Reach into your chest, pull out your heart, trim off the fat and give it back to you with new mods and better upload speed.

Q: Heart Maths’ is backed up by a remix from Peverelist. It must be good to have the support of a big Bristol name like that; do you think the city is quite nurturing for new artists in general?

A: I definitely feel a lot of support here.

Everyone is just about the music. That’s why people like Pev and Pinch are so important.

No nonsense. Heads down. Put the work in and don’t bother what other people are doing.

The culture here is good for that. It inspires people to go deeper with what their sound is rather than ape something else going on.

Q: What’s next for you?

A: The next single from the LP with another killer Bristol remix on the flip will be out late November before the full length Work is Love Made Visible drops in January. In the meantime I’m playing at Motion with Kerri Chandler and Moodymann on 23rd November and then a live show at the Audiophiles Christmas party on the 15th December. I’ll also be out and about playing drums with The Fauns but that’s a whole other story.

Epigram

05.11.2012

26

Best of Bristol’s live music

Friday 19th October saw the music lovers of Bristol paralysed with indecision as three of the most promising gigs in recent months descended upon the city on the same night. Fortunately, our music writers were scattered across the city to capture noir-pop newcomers PINS, electronica pioneers NZCA/Lines, and post-rock specialists Errors.

PINS at the Louisiana Gothic all-girl quartet PINS have been on the receiving end of many a superlative in the last year, but before we’re graced with the presence of the country’s hottest new female group, the suspiciously male, middle-aged and sexually frustrated looking audience crammed into the Louisiana is treated to newcomers Tidal Wars. As part of Bristol’s strong Howling Owl Records roster, they’re one of the city’s most exciting new prospects, yet tonight they struggle to find much bite in their vaguely melancholic sound which is so heavily indebted to Joy Division that Peter Hook should be sending the bailiffs round. Following them are An Axe, a Bristolian mash up of furious drumming, cringe-worthy guitar theatrics, and subThe-Kills menace; further proof, if any was needed, that you can’t be a rock star while wearing a snood.

After this strange mix of fury and introspection, Manchester’s PINS finally set the tone right with a Phil-Spectoresque wall of thudding bass-lines, revolving melodies, and expansive noise.

Central to this is the chilling atmosphere that they create with a whites-of-the-eyes

intensity that is interrupted only briefly to throw more red wine down their necks, before embarking on another thrilling foray into taut and gloomy postpunk which is punctuated occasionally by cathartic outbursts which see frontwoman Faith Holgate eye the crowd with a maddened stare.

And whilst the testosterone packed audience tonight might suggest that PINS are on the receiving end of reverse sexism, as if it were a minor miracle that attractive young females possess the capacity to play guitars, the quality of the songs on display seem to prove that PINS have enjoyed their early success for musical rather than gender-related reasons. Ironically, though, the strength of ‘Shoot You’’s insistent guitars only highlights a couple of weaker tracks which get lost in their own ethereal haze.

Yet, considering their immense youth, having one or two less brilliant tracks is a more than forgivable crime when buried within such a powerful and self-assured set that suggests that PINS deserve every superlative that’s thrown their way.

Pierre Enume

Typesun Q&A Typesun first appeared on many people’s radar when his track ‘Last Home’ opened Futureboogie’s 10 compilation. In fact he has been a busy figure on the Bristol scene for some time, and ‘Heart Maths’, the first single from his upcoming album, was released last month. He answered a few questions for us.

Q: Could you give us a brief introduction to yourself, and your work as Typesun and 7 Arrows?

A: I’m a producer, songwriter, drummer and DJ, living and working in Bristol. I was born here and I’ve been a musician all my life. Typesun and 7 Arrows are just different aspects of the same thing. They just have slightly different protocols and they adapt to support each other. I play the drums in Guido’s live show and ‘Heart Maths’ is a piece that we wrote together.

Q: Where do you start when you come to write a new tune?

NZCA/Lines + oOoOO at Start the Bus

Errors + Dam Mantle at the Exchange

These two artists, making up a bumper Friday night line-up in a buoyant Start the Bus, seemed to prove once and for all that the tag of ‘electronic music’ has ceased to inform what the listener’s experience will be. Here electro-pop was juxtaposed with the recently coined genre of witch house, characterised by ethereal synths and ghostly vocal samples. NZCA/Lines took to the tiny stage with all the energy of a Depeche Mode throwback, but with such selfassurance that even the drummer and guitarist bopped and weaved their way around the equipment with ease. Frontman Michael Lovett easily brought life to the crowd and drew in further spectators from the bar area with his crisp falsetto and, at times, melodramatically passionate delivery. The whole effect was hugely impressive and bodes well for the start-up trio, overseen by prolific Hackney producer Charlie Alex March. As the crescendo of their final track died down, much of the crowd left with them.

Errors have found their home at Rock Action Records, the label owned and managed by mighty post-rock superstars and fellow Scots, Mogwai. This in itself is high praise indeed for an almost completely instrumental group that once described their sound as ‘mathid house’. Their glitchy post-electro sound works very well in the smaller venues and festival dance tents that they often inhabit, and they certainly feed off enthusiastic crowds.

Sporting an outstanding postrock beard, ‘frontman’ Stephen Livingstone often addressed the crowd in between songs through his reverb-addled microphone, but the only vocals to be found during the songs were wails designed to enhance the enchanting wallof-sound effect.

Their sound has become somewhat more ambient of late, and the release of their

After a brief interval, oOoOO (sadly for the camp among us, pronounced merely ‘oh’) swaggered on stage. Looking a far cry from the cerebral recording artist he is, in a baseball cap and bomber jacket, he proceeded to play many of the gossamer pieces from his two recent EPs, 2010’s oOoOO and this year’s Our Love is Hurting Us. The music was beautifully immersive, with its heavy peaks and troughs reverberating around the now sparse viewing area. It was, however, disappointing to see that much of his material was pre-recorded and he engaged in the music very little, except for the occasional adjustment of the knobs in front of him. The two distinct acts both provided excellent experiences, the aloof demeanour of oOoOO contrasting fascinatingly with the joyous extravagance of NZCA/Lines, and once again showed that electronic music has perhaps more variety and scope than any other form.

Dan Faber

third LP Have Some Faith In Magic earlier this year yielded some of their more interesting live tracks. Errors were joined on stage by Bek Olivia (of Magic Eye) for excellent new track ‘Relics’ - from their recently released mini-album New Relics (available on VHS!).

Other stand-out tracks included ‘Bridge or Cloud?’ and ‘Beards’ - the opener and closer from 2010’s Come Down With Me. The Glaswegian contingent was completed by talented and energetic producer Dam Mantle (AKA Tom Marshallsay), who managed to entertain both the gathered crowd and those hovering around the bar. ‘Movement’ and ‘RGB’ showcase his attempts to find a new direction in the very crowded scene of electro producers on the circuit.

Gareth Davies

Profile A: I work from the idea outwards. Then it’s a process of discovering how that initial seed wants to come into being. There has to be some charge there. That’s what brings in the water and light to make it happen. Sometimes it’s just as imagined, sometimes very different.

I don’t work on anything unless I know what I’m trying to express and why.

Q: What have been your best experiences as a punter?

Q: How about when putting together a new mix or DJ set?

A: I had a flashback at a McCoy Tyner solo show in London the other day. I literally didn’t speak for an hour afterwards. I remember feeling like he just played a universe into creation and it unfolded before my eyes.

Universes within universes. I was speechless that one man could do that and take us with him. I feel so lucky to have heard him play.

A: It’s a feeling about what wants to come through. If there’s nothing happening in my guts or my heart I won’t start. I’m more and more happy just being patient and letting everything line itself up. There’s a certain amount of disorientation/dissonance that I have to allow before any real direction emerges. I’m learning to be comfortable with that. Considering how long a set needs to be, what the venue is going to be, who’s going to be there - those practical concerns are what shapes the output. The same goes for when I write.

More recently there was a Caribou DJ set at Timbuk2 that had a similar effect. He was playing these intensely emotional techno records in such an honest and uncontrived way and it reminded me why what we do is so important. Something really important shifted for me that night and I couldn’t say exactly what it was, but it needed to happen and I can’t imagine it happening any other way. Those are the DJs and performers I’m interested in. Reach into your chest, pull out your heart, trim off the fat and give it back to you with new mods and better upload speed.

Q: Heart Maths’ is backed up by a remix from Peverelist. It must be good to have the support of a big Bristol name like that; do you think the city is quite nurturing for new artists in general?

A: I definitely feel a lot of support here.

Everyone is just about the music. That’s why people like Pev and Pinch are so important.

No nonsense. Heads down. Put the work in and don’t bother what other people are doing.

The culture here is good for that. It inspires people to go deeper with what their sound is rather than ape something else going on.

Q: What’s next for you?

A: The next single from the LP with another killer Bristol remix on the flip will be out late November before the full length Work is Love Made Visible drops in January. In the meantime I’m playing at Motion with Kerri Chandler and Moodymann on 23rd November and then a live show at the Audiophiles Christmas party on the 15th December. I’ll also be out and about playing drums with The Fauns but that’s a whole other story.

Epigram

05.11.2012

25 27

Reviews GOOD DON’T SLEEP Egyptian Hip Hop R&S 22nd October 2012

good kid, m.A.A.d city

Kendrick Lamar Interscope 22nd October 2012

New Music #2 Danny Riley delves into the fuzzy world of psychedelia for our delectation.

It’s been a long time coming, but after a two year break Manchester four-piece Egyptian Hip Hop are very much back with their debut LP Good Don’t Sleep. The precocious Hudson Mohawke-produced 2010 EP Some Reptiles Grew Wings led to them being branded as possible pioneers of the ‘dross pop revolution’, but their debut full length record marks a serious development towards a moodier, more experimental, and crucially more varied sound, including funk influences and darker f lavours.

The dull vocals of languid frontman Alexander Hewett allow room for the rest of the band to flourish underneath, creating hazy textures, and moody soundscapes. The record may only be 10 tracks long, but each one is a journey: employing either repetition in the case of more accessible songs like ‘SYH’, or experimentation with the likes of ‘Snake Lane West’, which means at times the structures are similar to the echoing, dreamy jams of Warpaint. Other similar bands could include Oxford-based Trophy Wife or indie-discoers Is Tropical, but Egyptian Hip Hop seem to surpass their contemporaries because of their

creativity, varied sound, and sheer oddness.

The combination of funky bass, sunny guitars, shoegaze vocals, and snaking synths manages to achieve a much greater depth than that of their first EP offering. Around the continuity of dreamy, warped pop, the youngsters display their repertoire, ranging from the Caribbean flavour and repetition of opening track ‘Tobago’, to the mysterious intro on ‘The White Falls’, the funk grooves of ‘Yoro Diallo’, and the sci-fi influences heard on the experimental ‘Snake Lane West’. This really is an album of many faces.

At times the record tends to meander slightly and Hewett’s mumbling does start to grate after a while, but it is impossible to get away from the fact that this creative bunch of youngsters from Manchester are incredibly talented and display a maturity on Good Don’t Sleep that is really quite astonishing. It seems Egyptian Hip Hop have grown out of their oddball synth-pop tag, and developed into a unique band that hold a great deal of promise.

Matty Edwards

Subtitled ‘a short film by Kendrick Lamar’, good kid, m.A.A.d city demands attention to a bigger picture and immerses the listener in a world far beyond their headphones, chronicling an adolescence spent torn between conflicting paths. Lamar narrates an expertly crafted tale of the draws, pressures and pitfalls of growing up around LA gangs, in which he depicts struggling with parental expectations and the moral dilemmas posed as a result of being a ‘good kid’ in Compton. From radio-friendly ‘Swimming Pools (Drank)’ to ‘m.A.A.d city’ which culminates with all the hallmarks of classic West Coast sound, K.Dot’s versatility and lyricism shines through, compounding his vaunted status as a skilled storyteller. To understate the quality and significance of this record would be easy, but this is arguably the most important hip-hop LP since Nas’ Illmatic. Produced with the verve and flair of a cinematic smash, yet retaining the uncompromising grit of Section.80, flawless execution of a compelling concept has been pulled off effortlessly by Lamar. Dr Dre’s latest protégé has fulfilled and surpassed all expectations, but not only that, he’s also placed Compton firmly back on the map.

Rishi Modha

“Arguably the most important hip-hop LP since Illmatic” FREE REIGN Clinic Domino 12th November 2012

Six studio albums, support slots for Arcade Fire and Radiohead and a clearly distinctive sound all suggest that Liverpool’s premier mask-wearing post-punk four-piece have been only a short distance from commercial success for some time.

In truth, Clinic have probably been pigeon-holed as being just that bit too eccentric for the mass market, and not musically diverse enough to gain critical stardom.

On their seventh full length Free Reign, the band manage to maintain the hypnotic and brooding qualities of their previous work while incorporating more psychedelic and Krautrock influences on tracks including ‘You’ and ‘Cosmic Radiation’ - perhaps thanks to the mixing of Daniel Lopatin (AKA Oneohtrix Point Never). It goes without saying that developing the sound is crucial for any band, and the progression from debut Internal Wrangler and its ground-breaking tracks such as ‘The Return of Evil Bill’ is subtle yet fascinating. Opener and outstanding track ‘Misty’ exemplifies the mellow feel of modern Clinic, however the album as a whole seems somewhat disjointed. Fans will certainly enjoy yet another solid and interesting release that is a welcome addition to an impressive back catalogue.

Gareth Davies

SMALHANS Lindstrøm Feedelity 5th November 2012

The Scandinavians seem to keep on producing when it comes to dance music, Lindstrøm emerging as another electro music producer from the icy hinterlands of Norway. Smalhans focuses on synthy melodies to create a spaced out trance vibe that will alienate many, while others might ask: what genre does this actually fit in to?

Lindstrøm’s album has vague hints of Deadmau5 and The Chemical Brothers but with far less excitement; the chords and tune float from minute to minute with no apparent structure or definition. A previous Lindstrøm album Where You Go I Go Too had a title track nearly half an hour long and it’s easy to forget listening to Smalhans that this album isn’t one long monotonous piece.

‘Eggedosis’ offers something different: its upbeat tempo and crescendo bass making it almost good enough to dance to. Overall, though, Smalhans is more suited to a cocktail bar than the dance floor.

For those who prefer electronica pure and unabashed this six song album works with its innocent charm, while for most, I suggest reminiscing over your childhood as the dreamy synth has a sound unsettlingly familiar to the background music of Tetris and Asteroids.

Jack Riley

DEAD & BORN & GROWN The Staves Atlantic 12th November 2012

The Staves, true to their folk music origins, are composed of three sisters: Emily, Jessica and Camilla. Family is naturally important to the Staveley-Taylor girls, the first word of opener ‘Wisely and Slow’ being ‘brother’.

Title track ‘Dead & Born & Grown’ has a classic Nick Drake-esque guitar rhythm throughout, and indeed Camilla describes the sound and appeal of their old-fashioned music as its ‘homegrown’ quality. Just like the girls themselves, the songs on the album are thoughtful, articulate and pretty, although lacking any real edge. Some tracks - especially ‘Tongue Behind My Teeth’- sound uncannily like indie folk darling Laura Marling, but without her sense of the uncanny. They lack the sinister element that makes Marling stand out. Perhaps, then, they owe more to original folk/rock artists such as Sandy Denny, although without quite the same lyrical and musical accomplishment. However, it is a well put together album, produced by father and son music maestros Glyn and Ethan Johns, and refreshing in its simplicity and unpretentiousness. It is unlikely that The Staves will create any great waves in the British music scene with this album, but hopefully they will only grow and ‘In The Long Run’, follow in Marling’s footsteps to success.

Sorcha Berry-Varley

Operating out of Gothenburg, Sweden, Goat sound like the culmination of years spent listening to all those excellent reissues of non-Western psych by labels like Sublime Frequencies. Debut album World Music is a collection of raging, raw and funky jams that melds free-jazz skronk, stoner metal and malignant psychedelia to a bedrock of Afrobeat grooves. Tracks like ‘Disco Fever’ and ‘Goathead’ illustrate that while this collective clearly have a penchant for dusty fuzz and reverb units, they also aren’t afraid to get down and dirty with some serious dance music, coming off like a fuggy collaboration between Electric Wizard and Fela Kuti. Goat match their eclecticism with an entertainingly preposterous back story, describing their genesis in a remote village haunted by a centuries-old voodoo curse. This surely presents them as a band that values mystery as well as humour, something they should be spreading in a tiny handful of UK dates this month.

World Music is out now on Rocket Recordings Of all the astoundingly good psych-folk bands coming out of Finland at the moment, it seems Hexvessel are the most likely to achieve crossover success this autumn with the liturgically-titled No Holier Temple. The album explores the typical psych/folk themes of the wonder and sanctity of nature through the medium of gentle, 70s informed folkrock, while the influence of giants such as Pentangle and The Incredible String Band can be heard in its subtle jazz flourishes and fey instrumentation. That said, British vocalist Mat McNernrey’s background in black metal lends the music an abrasive sense of menace that ensures Hexvessel don’t come over like some addled parodists; from the Dave Tibet-esque spoken word passages in ‘Heaven and Earth Magic’ to the Iommic doom guitar of ‘His Portal Tomb’. Join their cult this autumn.

No Holier Temple is out now on Svart Records Closer to home, London duo Temples do pop as The Coral did in their heyday: revivalist, instant and weird. The few songs available on their soundcloud exhibit a dedication to mid-level psych bands like Kaleidoscope, July and early Soft Machine, married to punchy modern production. New single ‘Shelter Song’ starts off like a Byrds rip-off but transforms into classic Anglophonic pop while retaining a healthy dose of originality. Elsewhere, tracks like ‘The Golden Throne’ flirt with proto-prog weirdness within a conventional Britpop structure. Paisley of shirt and fuzzy of guitar, Temples nevertheless have the potential to break away from the plethora of vaguely mod-ish guitar bands to the status enjoyed by current indie-psych darlings Unknown Mortal Orchestra and Tame Impala. www.soundcloud.com/templesofficial

Find out more about the NUS Demo on 21 November at ubu.org.uk/demo

Film & TV

Epigram

Editor: Jasper Jolly

Deputy Editor: Kate Samuelson

filmandtv@epigram.org.uk

deputyfilmandtv@epigram.org.uk

One franchise too many?

Nathan Evans asks why Hollywood continues to churn out moribund sequels

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Keep The Lights On shines brightly Kiki Knowles

Peccadillo Pictures

Keep The Lights On tells the story of Erik Roth, a Danish documentarymaker living in New York, and his 10year relationship with a high-powered lawyer and occasional drug-addict Paul. From their first meeting, which is a result of a conversation on a gay sex hotline, the couple have a chemistry which seems palpably more intimate and meaningful than your average casual sexual hookup. However, whilst Erik (Thure Lindhardt) is reasonably free-spirited and liberated regarding his sexuality, Paul (Zachary Booth)

is much less so, and still has a steady girlfriend.

Their relationship therefore does not take off immediately, but develops slowly. We follow the couple in brutally up-close detail as it ebbs and flows, swinging from argument to resolution to argument again. The film focuses not on a conventional dramatic plot with clear-cut characters, but on conversations and episodes that take place over the course of a decade, and act as fragments which build to create a full image of a relationship and all its dysfunctions. The effect of this is a very realistic one – just like the people we are close to in real life,

Film & TV’s online editor Cass Horowitz reports on the Watershed’s 30th Wildscreen Festival Last week saw the great and the good of nature filmmakers and photographers descend on Bristol for the 30th biannual Wildscreen festival.

The festival has a long history in Bristol and is recognised globally to be the most important festival of its kind in the world. It takes place over five days with various seminars and workshops being hosted by industry experts. However with tickets upwards of £500, you’re unlikely to spot any students there.

That said, they kindly gave Epigram a few passes and I went along to a couple of events to try and get a flavour of the festival. At Colston Hall, we were treated to a first look at the Discovery Channel’s new programme North America. Visually, it was unlike

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My eyes have been opened to the number of amazing opportunities there are in Bristol for filmmaking enthusiasts

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any nature programme I had seen before with particular emphasis on the landscape in North America and the extremely variable weather. Although they didn’t have much footage yet (the show isn’t out until next year) what they did have was interspersed with a Q&A with some of the producers and directors of this ground-breaking programme.

It was intriguing to hear how many of the shots in nature programmes are often the result of weeks of sitting in the cold and wet.

There was also an insight into the future of production with the filmmakers

we know the characters through their idiosyncrasies – which underpins the sense that this film has more than a hint of autobiography about it. In a scene where Erik discusses his work, we become aware that we are watching a film about a film-maker making a film about a film-maker. Similarly, it is hard not to draw parallels between Erik’s documentary winning a Teddy award and this film itself going on to win a Teddy award after its release at the Sundance Film Festival this year.

Evidently, director and writer Ira Sachs has poured a lot of himself into this film, and this gives it an intensity which serves in its favour. The realness of the characters, combined with the convincing performances by the actors who play them, draws the audience in

‘Kingdom of Plants 3D’

discussing various new technologies such as a remote-controlled boat camera that was used to film for the very first time a bear catching fish underwater. Overall it was a fascinating event and everyone should look out for the show when it comes out in 2013.

I also attended the final event of the festival, the Panda Awards. The importance of these awards within the industry cannot be overstated and a suitable glitzy night was arranged at Bristol’s Passenger Shed. The big winners of the night were BBC Bristol’s own Frozen Planet which took awards for best sound, cinematography and series. Meanwhile the eclectic film My Life as a Turkey, which follows Joe Hutto, a biologist who raises thirteen endangered wild turkeys from eggs, took home the coveted Golden Panda Award which recognises excellence in the documentary industry.

Overall the festival was a great success and left many people excited about what the future holds for wildlife filmmaking. It is clear that this industry is as thriving as ever and my eyes have been opened to the number of amazing opportunities there are in Bristol for film-making enthusiasts.

Watershed

ballooned in size. Whilst X-Men was made for $75m back in 2000, this year’s The Amazing Spider-Man cost $230m.

Even flops like Battleship and John Carter had budgets well over $200m.

This means that any blockbuster film is a massive risk: if a film performs badly, it could cripple the studio that made it.

In fact, the head of Walt Disney Studios was forced to resign after the failure of John Carter. In short, studios need money more than ever, but audiences are less willing to give them it. As such, studios have to be more conservative and turn to franchises which they know are a reliable way to get bums in seats.

This is why Sony rushed to reboot the Spider-Man franchise after plans for a Spider-Man 4 fell through.

However, not every studio has an iconic character like the friendly neighbourhood web-thrower to fall back on. Others have to make educated guesses on lesser properties.

For example, Dreamworks sees the Madagascar (inset, left) brand as a reliable way for parents to keep the kids entertained, and so keeps churning them out. Meanwhile, the Paranormal Activity films have a low budget and an excited Halloween crowd ready to lap them up. The latest, Paranormal Activity 4, has been mauled by critics and audiences alike. It has a 25% ‘rotten’ rating on Rotten Tomatoes and 4.7/10 on IMDb. Needless to say, a fifth one has just been greenlit. The horror will never end!

@epigramfilm

Bristol film’s Wild side

Watershed

With a new toolset at their disposal, studios turned to worlds they couldn’t adapt before, from the epic scale of The Lord of the Rings (TLOTR) to superhero films like Spider-Man and X-Men. These worlds naturally lent themselves to sequels. TLOTR series is made up of three volumes which add up to over 1000 pages, whilst Peter Parker, Wolverine and their spandex-clad associates had 50 years of comic book history to explore. It was only natural that these became movie series, with each film being as financially successful as the previous one (if not more). Smelling the potential for easy money by creating movie franchises, Hollywood looked for opportunities to create them at every turn. In short, franchises became Hollywood’s safety net.

Since the 2008 financial crisis, this safety net has become ever more important. In 2012, many people can barely afford to pay their bills, let alone the luxury of cinema tickets for an hour or two of entertainment. At the same time, movie budgets have

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You’re sitting in the cinema with your mates. Having paid a small fortune for a ticket and a diluted Pepsi, you’re now being forced to sit through half an hour of adverts before the movie even commences. The next trailer that begins feels very familiar. And then it hits you.

‘God, not another one of these!’ you cry out, amazed that Hollywood think people will pay to see yet another lazy sequel, reboot or remake. Does the world really need another Ice Age or Clash of the Titans film?

The studios think it does. To find out why, we’ve got to go back to a time when dinosaurs roamed the earth: 1993. 19 years ago, Jurassic Park became the highest-grossing film ever made, earning almost $1bn worldwide.

Strangely, it did this despite having no real movie stars in its cast. Sure, Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum are reliable actors and Samuel L. Jackson has since become of the biggest stars on the planet.

But in 1993 none of them were Alisters. The film’s real attraction was, of course, the dinosaurs. The visual effects (which still stand up today) were hailed as a major step forward for computer-generated imagery (CGI), bringing the ancient world to life in a way that nobody had ever thought possible. The rest of Hollywood quickly took notice. Toy Story – the first completely-CGI film – followed two years later. Not long after that, James Cameron’s Titanic (half love story, half CGI disaster movie) beat Jurassic Park’s box office records with ease.

However, the CGI revolution was not simply about technology. It meant that films became ever more reliant on stunning visuals rather than movie stars. Tom Cruise or Harrison Ford may have large fanbases, but the explosion of the White House in Independence Day or the tidal waves of Deep Impact hold a much more universal appeal, crossing cultural and linguistic boundaries.

This has helped Hollywood to open up difficult but lucrative foreign markets like South Korea, China and Russia.

What is more, pixels are reliable: a computer is never going to have a Mel Gibson-style outburst.

05.11.2012

and leaves us personally concerned for the outcome of their conflicts and problems. As Paul’s drug problem leads to the erosion of their relationship, the sense of loss and injustice is a profound one. At the same time, the implicitly strong and loving bond between the men seems almost as rich and rewarding for the audience as it is for them. But despite our personal connection with the characters, the film at its heart is not about Paul and Erik, but about intimacy and the ways in which it can simultaneously nourish and destroy us.

Keep the Lights On Released 2nd November Dir. Ira Sachs, 101 mins

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Digital Spy Cinereach

Beasts of the Southern Wild delights Sol Milne: Benh Zeitlin’s beautiful debut is powerful, elegaic and perfectly acted

filmofilia.com

I’m not sure I have cried more in any own wrongdoing to have ‘busted’ the to keep it that way. other movie. This is a beautiful film. universe and shoulders responsibility Their isolation has preserved the The visual power of Beasts of the for having started the floods of biblical townspeople’s awe and respect of Southern Wild grips you from the proportions that sweep her beloved nature instead of seeking to dominate beginning and transports to the town of Bathtub and for melting it. The bizarre post-flood lifestyle of the primordial days of childhood, when the icecaps that in turn released people, drifting around on improvised curiosity in nature seemed to blur the fierce aurochs from their icy house-boats at the mercy of alligators any separation between you and it. slumber. Her combination of quiet, and a lack of clean water shifts the Quvenzhané Wallis, playing the lead brutal determination and curiosity people from the top of the food role of Hushpuppy, chain and allows the absolutely amazed. Her parable to play out at powerful, stoic and a primordial level. determined character There is an important lives in the imagined theme of equality town of Bathtub, between man and southern Louisiana, with animals throughout her alcoholic father Wink, the film; Hushpuppy played by Dwight Henry, and her father hold where a storm threatens the animals as dear the safety of their below as each other; a sweet sea-level bayou locale. example was that Beasts explores the throughout the whole reality of one’s senses ordeal their little Jack as it immerses you in Russell dog always The Bathtub - “more holidays than anywhere else in the world” Hushpuppy’s world. seemed to emerge in Her imagination runs parallel to her intertwined with naivety pulls you into the arms of someone looking out for experience, as she tries to fight against her story. its small and precious life. the forces of nature, personified by There were no seams to the world There is no apparent religious theme prehistoric monsters called ‘Aurochs’, Zeitlin created. With a modest $1.3m to this parable, just the struggling and that try to take her sick father away budget, set design of the film was reciprocal relationship between man from her. immaculate; each building and room and nature perceived through the This is the film debut not only for was a unique, anarchic jumble of unfiltered eyes of a child, Hushpuppy.

Quvenzhané Wallis, but also for actor plywood and corrugated iron that You can really feel the weight of the Dwight Henry and director Benh looked natural and lived in. The forces she fights against in order to Zeitlin. Yet this parable of man’s lifestyle in Bathtub, ‘where there save her town and her father, in the struggle against the limitless tide of are more holidays than anywhere logic that she understands. It is not nature has a timelessness to it that else in the world’, was as bizarre and long before you start pining for her as betrays no lack of experience. fantastic as the imaginings of little if she were your own daughter.

Actor Dwight Henry, a baker by trade Hushpuppy, allowing her two worlds It was so hard to choke back a sob and owner of Buttermilk Drop Bakery to flow together effortlessly. This film in this film; everything in it sweeps in New Orleans, actually had to be is such a jewel, reminding Hollywood you in and I was in tears during the persuaded to act in the film, as he said that a truly great production does not opening sequence. I thoroughly he had been very busy at the time! In necessarily have to be mirrored by its recommend everyone see Beasts of the response to the actors’ lack of training, budget.

Southern Wild, a modern gem made the Screen Actors Guild banned the There was a hint of Where The Wild not by a large budget and star actors non-professionals from being eligible Things Are in the film, as the massive but with a great script, wonderfully for any of their awards. Quvenzhané ‘aurochs’ thundered across a desolate transparent emotions and real heart.

Wallis originally lied her way into the and post-apocalyptic wasteland that This is definitely amongst my favourite auditioning process, saying she was channeled a post- Katrina New Orleans. films. six instead of five. The honest nature Bathtub, a community left behind by of the acting definitely had its roots society has somehow wrestled out a in the genuine and non-professional beautiful symbiosis between reality performance of these real people. and the fantastic. Nestled in amongst Beasts of the Southern Wild Hushpuppy presents a perfect the marshes, behind a levee that keeps Released 19th October metaphor for the film’s environmental the water from draining, they are cut Dir. Benh Zeitlin, 93 mins theme. She perceives a single act of her off from the rest of the world and fight

World premiere report: Skyfall Rosslyn McNair: the stars were out in Leicester Square for a very strong outing for James Bond For various reasons, I go to film premieres a lot. I’ve been to enough that the novelty has very much worn off and they’ve sort of been reduced to grandiose outings to the cinema.

I just have to wear significantly less comfortable shoes and be judged by a significantly larger amount of people.

You need to bear this in mind when I say that the world premiere of the new Bond film Skyfall was one the most extraordinary occasions I’ve ever been to. This was an event with a real sense of old-fashioned Hollywood glamour. Men standing handsomely in tuxedos and women in floor-length dresses, with fur stoles slung over their shoulders. We strolled down a red carpet towards the Albert Hall alongside Darcy Bussell, Stephen Fry and Judi Dench until we came to the entrance marked by an original Aston Martin DB5 complete

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Skyfall is convincing, coherent and utterly electrifying to watch.

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with blonde Bond girls draped over it.

I entered and hurriedly took my seat in the hall next to Valentino - as in the couture fashion designer Valentino - and tried to look like I hang around with James Bond and the gang on a regular basis.

Skyfall, I think, will come a severe relief to an industry that has struggled to fill seats this year. It is every film studio’s wish, a much anticipated film that lives up the hype. In the first three minutes, two cars are destroyed, several windows smashed and Bond chases a villain on top of a Turkish bazaar, on a motorbike, in a suit.

But don’t mistake this brutal beginning as the basis for some hotch-potched action film that mistakes explosions for a plotline. Skyfall is convincing, coherent and utterly electrifying to watch.

This is a Bond film for a new age.

An age where terrorists are no longer hiding in the bushes with Kalashnikovs but are silently hacking into your government firewalls. There is a new enemy ‘hiding in the shadows’ and Skyfall depicts MI6’s struggle to adapt with what is no longer ‘a golden age of espionage’.

This clash between old and new is seen most of all between Bond and Ben

Whishaw playing the nerdy, pubescent Q. The line, ‘I can cause more damage in my pyjamas, on my laptop before my first cup of Earl Gray than you can in a year in the field’, not only puts a patronising Bond firmly in his place but also raised applause throughout the auditorium.

Javier Bardem puts in a superb turn as the camp, sociopathic bad guy. His narcissism is hilarious, until he starts blowing things up. He plays an exagent with a grudge against M and the ego-centrism to see it through.

The cinematography is beautiful – especially in the later scenes of the film – and there is a feeling that the look of the film has been a real labour of love for the producers. Every shot is well thought out and aesthetically pleasaing to watch. This film is considered and well crafted in contrast to the way that Quantum of Solace was sloppy and lacklustre.

Besides the way it looks, the script is witty and wonderfully British.

Bond is trapped in an underground tunnel desperately trying to open a maintenance door when suddenly he hears roaring engines approaching him. He merely turns towards the lights and drolly comments, ‘Oh look, there’s a train,’ before calmly shooting the door down and powering through.

Skyfall treads the right line between humour and heart-stopping gravity.

We all know that Bond will prevail in the end but there are times, when the titillation momentarily stops, that assurance is cast into severe doubt.

The premiere of Skyfall was like welcoming back an old friend we haven’t seen in a while. It was luxurious, exciting, sexy – a real piece of cinematic escapism. As I swanned around the after party clutching my glass of Bollinger I felt like the film’s swagger had seeped into me, like I was now part of some higher circle of glitterati.

I don’t think Bristol University is al Qaeda’s next target but after watching Skyfall, I’m fairly confident I could take ‘em and I feel like that is a boost that the British public very much needs right now.

Skyfall Released 26th October Dir. Sam Mendes, 143 mins

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My Big Fat Jewish Stereotypes of the Year Katie Briefel is disappointed with the lazy clichés and lack of real humour in Jewish Mum of the Year

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The show’s producers promised as much. Richard Ferrer claimed the show would ‘celebrate – not stereotype Jewish Mums’ and one of the show’s judges, Tracy-Ann Oberman said ‘Jewish Mum of the Year’ is ‘like Hunger Games…only without the hunger.’

I’m not sure if I was more disappointed by the lazy stereotyping or the complete failed attempt at making it funny. What we were given instead was an unimaginative, vacuous, ‘mockumentary’, full of cheap laughs that took the Jewish stereotypes further into the realm of cliché. It

Mirror.co.uk

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They managed to let a genuinely amusing subject matter fall flat under the weight of cliché

combined aspects of The Apprentice, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and The Only Way is Essex, without the humour of any of them, the only comic moment being when Heston Blumenthal tries to help two of the mothers bake a barmitzvah cake, only to be horrified that they have bought packet sponge mix and long-life cream. One of the mothers responds to his disgust with real Jewish mother ‘chutzpah’, saying, ‘maybe he’s just more of a savoury person.’

It has since caused a storm of criticism on social media (with tweets from ‘has TV run out of ideas?’ to ‘another disappointingly simplistic and clichéd misrepresentation of a minority community’) for its caricatured portrayal of a cross-section of different types of Jewish mothers performing Apprentice-style tasks in a bid to be crowned ‘Jewish Mum of the Year’ and become the Jewish News’ agony aunt. It seems people will do anything to get into journalism.

A Channel 4 spokesperson responded to the criticism claiming, ‘The series is entertaining and warmhearted, and provides insight into one of the most engaging and successful communities in Britain.’ The Mirror was also supportive, arguing that ‘like My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, it offers an insight into a culture alien to most of us.’

However, the Independent was much more scathing, calling the show ‘barely credible’. The Jewish Chronicle criticised the show for reinforcing ‘many stereotypes about Jews by mocking a selection of eccentrics who just happen to be Jewish.’

Channel 4

I sat down with my housemates a few weeks ago to watch Jewish Mum of the Year, hoping to see a gallery of familiar characters, reminding me of my own Jewish mother, who fed me chicken soup, agonised over my school grades, explained to me about ‘nice Jewish boys’ and shouted at me out of the car to pull my skirt down.

I was also hoping for some good Jewish jokes and maybe something reminiscent of the films Suzie Gold or My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Jews and Greeks are remarkably similar - with a dose of Woody Allen neurosis.

I thought that my non-Jewish friends would get a flavour of what the small yet quirky and multi-faceted community is really like, considering some of them have hardly met any Jewish people.

The judges, ‘Jewish mum’ Tracy-Ann Oberman and Yiddish scholar Dovid Katz Individuals in the public eye have also spoken out about the show.

Actress Maureen Lipman branded the show ‘disgusting’, explaining, ‘it is just the next stage in the culture of humiliation on television.’ Former BBC Chairman Michael Grade criticized the programme saying, ‘I don’t know what it’s supposed to be. They seemed to cram every cliché in the book.’

Indeed, the show is now being

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Maybe I’m just getting the wrong end of the schtick

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investigated by Ofcom, the broadcasting watch-dog after receiving over 800 complaints. This is particularly poignant considering the recent ruling

by the Advertising Standards Authority over Channel Four’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’s ‘irresponsible’, ‘offensive’ campaign that ‘reaffirmed negative stereotypes of the Irish Traveller Community’.

Of everything that was wrong about the show, (why was respected scholar Dovid Katz involved?) the most disappointing aspect for me is how they managed to let a genuinely amusing subject matter fall flat under the weight of cliché. It was unoriginal, misrepresentative and made me turn to my friends and say ‘we’re not all like that!’ But maybe I’m just getting the wrong end of the schtick.

Jewish Mum of the Year Channel 4, catch up on 40D

Fresh Meat still hasn’t gone off Rachel Schraer thinks the second series remains true to university life with enviable panache or in-crowd swagger. Writers Sam Bain and Jesse Armstong, known best for their writing for the king of Britcoms, Peepshow, appear not to want to provoke the voyeuristic envy at others’ lives that more aspirational programming might attempt, but rather, that flush of recognition - and perhaps just a tinge of schadenfreude - that the happy realisation that none of us really know what we’re doing provokes.

Where some dramas give their characters a grand arc across a series, by which the viewers can witness their ‘personal growth’, Fresh Meat’s cast, ever true to life, seem to undergo such a trajectory in every episode. Vod takes on more responsibility in her cleaning job, before realising that she doesn’t want to be owned by The Man; Kingsley (of the newgrown soul patch and pseudoKerouac philosophy) gets swept along by the prospect of a lucrative job with BP, and in the course of an hour acknowledges it’s not for him, whilst Oregon goes backward and forward on the matter of her former professorial fling Tony Shales more times than I check Facebook on essay deadline night.

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doesn’t quite cut the mustard in the posh-boys’ club, not to mention Howard, the bespectacled Geology student who works in an abattoir (a career choice that manages not to be his main barrier to social acceptance).

Certain stereotypes can’t help but be played out: the awkward housemate hook-up that comes back to haunt everyone concerned for the rest of their degree; the scrounging friend who never manages to get you back for that round (or four); the Darwinian bristle from even the most apathetic of stoners when grad schemes and career fairs are mentioned.

But none of these escapades are carried out by the cast

Channel 4

There were oh so many ways that Fresh Meat could have turned out to be a screaming cliché. As it is, the very notion of ‘student life’ is so beset with clichés that it has attained mythological status, the real thing only able to be experienced through an Instagram-ed haze of vodka and broken dreams.

But the second series of Fresh Meat, like a world-weary second-year who’s realised that, whilst a myth is a myth, the reality of university can be so much more touching, hilarious and educational, doesn’t attempt to present yet another paradigm of how we should be living our lives. Because its cast of mismatched characters aren’t exactly role models of cool: whilst Oregon (former Bristol student Charlotte Ritchie) continues to hide her pony and access to daddy’s credit card behind a wavering faux-gritty e x t e r i o r, JP (Jack Whitehall, right) - too posh for edgy Vod’s squad - still

At times Fresh Meat skates dangerously close to being a mere slew of throw-away one liners and knob gags - of the kind which would probably consign it to the one-hitwonder bin - but it is continually saved by its touching moments of realism. Its soul is in its characters’ relationships, from the spiky Vod tending to JP on his sickbed, to the slightly dim, conservative JP coming to the realisation that just because his old school friend has come out as gay doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to jump on him.

Fresh Meat, along with its cast, and probably a large section of its viewer demographic, is growing up; it’s mellowing and maturing as it moves into its second series. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be making its fair share of mistakes along the way, just to keep us amused.

Fresh Meat Channel 4, Tuesdays at 10pm

Homeland back with vengeance Shivangi Joshi Season one spoiler alert With the first season of Homeland proving a massive hit, there was great expectation from the second. It does not disappoint. The numerous awards the show has received so far are not surprising, nor is the fact that the US President himself is a fan.

The show truly does have a mix of everything needed in a great television programme: fantastic storyline, amazing actors, intense drama, politics, and human relationships. Moreover it is something in which you could easily imagine the CIA being involved - for example when you look at the picture of the President and his team whilst Bin Laden was being caught. The show is a political and psychological thriller looking at not only the external fight with terrorism but also the internal and emotional.

The show would not be as great if it didn’t have Claire Danes in the lead role. Her mind-blowing acting makes Carrie Mathison one of the best, kickass characters on television. In fact due to Homeland Claire Danes was placed in Time’s 100 Most Influential People of 2012. Carrie’s struggle with her bipolar disorder whilst fighting terrorism makes her an even more awe-inspiring character as she does not conform to the idea of a typical CIA officer with her distinct personality and unconventional methods. Great frustration follows when at the end of series one Carrie is suspended from her job. It was heart-breaking to witness Carrie’s transformation from being a highly intelligent CIA officer at the beginning of season one to doubting herself and becoming a suicidal ESL teacher in season two.

Unlike some series, Homeland did not worsen with series two. In fact it could be argued that it has become better as within the first three episodes the plot begins to get more intense with the incriminating video of Brody in the hands of Saul and the web of lies he has created tightening around him as he tries to balance working for Abu Nazir and his position in US politics.

Series two is effectively and thrillingly building on the first and slowly leading to the exposure of Brody. As Carrie exclaims, ‘I was right!’ after watching Brody’s video, great excitement builds as to see what will happen next.

Homeland Channel 4, Sundays at 9pm

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Dates for your diar y

Alan Davies at Colston Hall

Jonathan Creek The curly haired one from QI and Stephen Fry and takes a break from being bullied by n 10 years away. returns to stand-up after more tha always charming If you’re a fan of his often surreal, are available sense of humour, then tickets - but get them for his new Life Is Pain tour now sure to sell out. while they’re hot because they’re

itor What’s On Ed

Pippa Shawley

n the ger is more o n fi r u o y k e you in Th urs? Or mayb o n a th e ls u p g l Bristol cultura g a go at writing and editin in just fancy hav r yourself ?

‘What’s On’ fo

l.org.uk Source: at-bristo

a brief .org.uk with m ra ig p e r@ e Email edito for the job. Th d o o g e b ’d u out why yo ovember. statement ab esday 14th N n d e W is e n li dead

Sunday 25th November, 8pm Tickets £25 www.colstonhall.org

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gsoc a lectures re hosting th e fi th geograp is month, offe rst in a series ri h o The fir ical research fro ng first-hand a f one-off st tack n m d all sor exciti les issu subglac es surr ts of fields of int ng ial lake eres oun s momen Geogsoc’s Gorgeous Glacie t by me that are being ding Antarcti t. rs mbers o ca’s These le research f th ct e @Bristol Planetarium average ures are open e Geography d d at the to every e s body, an partment. at the tudent house d might m while th fee knowled oment, they e ge. It p assume l like Antarct i romises to lear c a n o pri n abo As the nights begin to get longer and the ut som to be a great or glacial op ething entirely portunity days shorter, now is the perfect time to differen Peel Lec t! ture Th Thursda ea Fr

Written in the stars

Source: flickr Skiwalker79

Galaxies in Action!

learn about all those stars, constellations

and strange celestial bodies that are now impinging themselves even more on our precious time.

Luckily, the intriguing silver ball near Harbourside that houses Bristol’s very

own planetarium is hosting a special ‘Autumn Night Sky’ event for anyone wanting to discover the secrets of the Universe for themselves. Sadly there’s no

moons, but it’s still worth a visit. Nip down and snuggle up while you watch the wonders of space work their magic overhead.

1st November - 9th December @Bristol, Harbourside Tickets £1, www.at-bristol.org.uk

’ talk m s li a n r u o J g in t ‘Reinven er Editor-in-

form William Lewis, at the This talk from ro ia G up, looks ed M h ap gr le Te to Chief of the ia and the need ed m l ta gi di by -defined challenges posed ism in a digitally al rn u jo t in pr an reinvigorate for anyone with d an e, n yo er ev ust - and age. It’s open to rnalism, it’s a m u jo or ia ed m no? interest in ds, who can say ar rw te af n io pt with a wine rece vember, 6.30pm Thursday 8th No Victoria Rooms , m Auditoriu Free.

Have you got a cultu Email editor@ ral secret to share? epigram.org.u k

Words: Imogen Rowley

soothing sound of Brian Cox lulling you to sleep with his gentle tales of stars and

tr y ee! Sear ch ‘Geo e, School of Ge 8th November, gsoc pr esents: ographical Scie 5pm World’ oAntarctica’s Hidnces n Faceb ook Eveden nts

Epigram

05.11.2012

33

Views from the Dugout...

This section is for all things random.

Have you got any tweets of the week, interesting photos or simply want to show off the success of your sports club?

Email us at sport@epigram.org.uk

Epigram Sport’s tweets of the fortnight We follow them so you don’t have to

Highlights of this fortnights BUCS fixtures Wednesday 14th November:

University of

University of Exexter

Bristol Men’s 1st

Men’s 1st

University of

University of Bristol

Bath Women’s 1st

Women’s 1st

Both these games should be feisty and entertaining affairs

UBTV looks at how to get involved with the Bristol University Polo society at their intro tournament. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=b2w-ox8MSuo

See what you’re missing out on? Listen to The Epigram Sport Hour every Monday from 4-5pm!

We’ll be very surprised if Mark Clattenburg is still a referee by the time you’re reading this

Smartphone sport and fitness apps

As we become increasingly dependent on technology, Epigram offers a comprehensive review of the sports and fitness-related applications that smartphones now offer Ethan Meade Sports Reporter The market for sports apps for university students is a somewhat crowded one.

However, there are a number out there which prove extremely useful, especially for students. Here I’ll look through a selection of them:

this app could be very useful, although for the more casual runner, it could perhaps seem a little overbearing.

My rating – 8/10 MatchPint:

Bupa Smart Runner:

ESPN Goals:

We all know that when going out on a Saturday or Sunday night, catching up on

tracking down every drink you have, which some may find somewhat arduous and difficult to maintain on a night out.

My rating – 7/10 Sky Centre:

Sports

Football

Drinks Tracker:

This app provides a somewhat frank assessment of how much you have actually drunk in the past week. For those who are perhaps conscious of staying in shape and avoiding that beer belly, this app helps you stay on track of how much you’ve been drinking. It also has a useful FAQ section on both the app and the effects of drinking. Having said that, its effectiveness is obviously completely dependent on

Perhaps the ultimate score centre app, not just for students, but for everyone. The Sky Sports App provides a comprehensive ‘live scores’ service, shaped in the mould of their Soccer Saturday program. The front page is tailored to suit the team you support, including your team’s latest fixtures, tables and results. It also features the latest football news on the front page, useful throughout the week.

On Saturdays the app comes into its own however, with its comprehensive score centre.

Having said this, the writer can confirm some slight technical gremlins, which compromises its final rating.

My rating – 8/10

David Stone Sport Editor I’ve been to watch a lot of football in my life, but never had I seen anything like this.

Two and a half thousand England supporters, having made the journey to Warsaw to watch England play, were confronted with a pitch that was closer to a quagmire than a playing field. The sight of the referee attempting to throw the ball onto the grass, only for it to loudly splash in the mud and begin to sink, was all the football we’d be watching.

The trip out had started much like any other trip when going abroad to watch England play, with a budget Irish airline determined to drag some more coins from your wallet, and the day being spent in the British themed pubs.

Even when it started raining a few hours before kickoff, we were unconcerned. For the Warsaw National Stadium, only a few months old, had recently been voted as ‘Stadium of the

State of the art or turgid bog?

Year’. Its £400m budget ensured that it had a roof, undersoil heating and all sorts of other technological advancements.

Yet as the rain continued to get harder, rumours began to spread that the roof hadn’t in fact been closed. In disbelief, we made our way to the stadium.

We were able to catch a tram to the ground. Others weren’t so fortunate, inside the toilets there were fans desperately trying to dry their passports and tickets under the hot air handryers.

It was only a good hour after the scheduled kick-off time that the postponement was finally announced. Not a word from the Polish authorities of course, but rather Adrian Chiles on ITV. Faced with the option of paying several hundred more pounds for new flights and other expenses, we made the decision to return home instead along with the majority of other supporters. Around 800 fans managed to stay out, only to see what could arguably be described as one of England’s worst performances for years.

Tom Colville

The app promises to ‘add variety to your running and help you improve technique and running strength.’ You can use hill runs, sprint runs and cross-training runs – this can prove useful, although for those of you who run at a gym, this will of course not be a huge novelty. Perhaps more usefully, it can sync your music with your running programme, helping improve your workout.

The app also has a ‘running clinic’, including videos on running technique, exercises, frequently asked questions and the capacity to find a local physio. For the serious runner,

This app basically tells you all of the upcoming matches, and which pubs/bars they will be showing at, using your current location. For those of you debating where your nearest local is for the game, especially in a fairly new city, this app is of great value. It includes a platform to search for particular games, which can prove very useful if you support a lesser known team. Another plus is for fans of sports other than football, as coverage is obviously less extensive and widespread.

Highly recommended.

My rating – 9/10

the weekend’s goals can be a frustrating problem. This app gives you all of the highlights and goals from Barclays Premier League games within a matter of hours of the final whistle, all free of charge. It also runs a weekend preview service, and features excellent professional commentary.

Furthermore, you don’t have to have any kind of subscription to ESPN to download the service. Another highly recommended app.

My rating – 9/10

Wet in Warsaw

Epigram

05.11.2012

34

Bristol battle in UoBCC produce Squash showdown strong showing at BUCS Hill Climb Nick Bone Sports Reporter

Bristol hosted the BUCS Premier South Stage One Squash tournament last weekend, featuring four of the top Women’s and Men’s teams nationally. Bristol Women’s 1st, made up pf Rebecca Quiney, Abbey Freeman, Katie Lloyd and Rachael Hamp, were up against Cardiff Met, Birmingham and Oxford. They had a strong performance on the Saturday, winning 3-1 against both Cardiff Met and Oxford, with both the freshers who were new to the team winning their matches. The tougher test

against Birmingham was a close-run 3-1 loss, but Rebecca Quiney managed to win all her matches at 1st String. The Women’s 1st will now play the team who came 3rd in the North tournament, to see who will progress to the Upper Stage Two group in December.

Bristol Men’s 1st faced stiff opposition from Nottingham, Loughborough and last year’s BUCS runners-up Birmingham.

Saturday was the biggest test for our Men’s 1st team, made up of Marc Vaez, Jack Turnell, Rob Knight, Henry Duncanson and Kwee Chee Hian. Although both Marc and Henry managed to take games off their opposition, the team were outclassed by both

Birmingham and Nottingham.

Sunday was a closer match against Loughborough, with all five players taking games off of their opponents, but losing players from the team last year highlighted how high the standard is in this competition.

The team will now progress to the Lower Stage Two group in December.

The University of Bristol Cycling Club enjoyed a strong start to their BUCS campaign at the Hill Climb, up Curbar Gap in the Peak District. The event is a simple time trial from bottom to top, with riders setting off at minute intervals. The women were up first, with four UoBCC

entrants in a field of 40 riders.

The stand-out performance came from Jenny Hudson, who finished sixth, just 16 seconds off the podium, and helped Bristol to fifth overall on the team classification.

The Men’s championship followed immediately afterwards, with five UoB riders going into a highly competitive field of 150 riders. Will Bourne was highest placed rider in

50th position, with all riders achieving sub-eight minute times, pushing Bristol up to 15th out of 35 in the team classification.

The next competitive outing for the club is the Chilly Duathlon at Castle Coombe racecourse, where there will hopefully be more BUCS points earned towards Bristol’s tally.

Sam Game

Nick Bone

The Squash Club recently launched a new website ‘www.uobsquash.co.uk’, and restarted its university-wide intramural leagues this October. The leagues had 120 people involved last year, with a league system that ensures absolutely anyone can get involved, no matter what their skill level. The initiative from the club, aimed to get more people into the fastpaced and growing sport, has had a great response from students. The leagues are just £10 to join and are open to all in the university. After being put in a league with similar standard players, you organise games when it suits you both, and play wherever, meaning even those with the most hectic schedules can fit in a 40 minute match. People can join the leagues at any point in the year. Interested?

Sam Game Sports Reporter

The only way is up

Golf Club hoping to get out the bunker and onto the green George Moxey Sports Reporter

“ ”

But forget the not so bright lights of manicured American fairways, how is the sport developing at Bristol?

Surely, for such a renowned university, our golf is up there

Flickr: 199vibe

with the finest? It isn’t. The team is currently in the bottom league for the region. However, it is improving. Numbers at freshers’ fair are always optimistic but forty names penned in for the golf club is an improvement on last year’s twenty five. But, like any sport, golf centres around quality over quantity, and fortunately this year’s influx of new students has not disappointed, with multiple handicaps under just five. Squad player James Mainwaring is hoping that the team will be able to improve on a disappointing sixth place finish last season and push up towards the top places in the club’s Western 2B league. In fact, it is the only English university in a league otherwise made up of Welsh institutions.

One of the problems which the golf club must overcome, if it is to continue to grow in the future, is the one of sponsorship. Full membership currently comes at a cost of £190 for this academic year, which is actually inexpensive for a year of golf; membership for 18-22 year olds playing golf isn’t cheap, with numbers

usually around the £350 mark for clubs around the country.

Intertwined with this problem is the period of the year for which this money covers. Even the rookie 28 handicapper could tell you that playing a four-hour round with eleven thermals on isn’t the most fulfilling way to spend your winter weekends.

Mainwaring, however, confirmed that transport to and from matches was more of an issue than cold toes this season. With the average size of a student car’s boot roughly the size of a golf bag, fitting a team of six into two cars can often be a struggle. Legally, at least.

“ ”

It’s not just a lack of funding which is stunting development though. Religious citizens

Flickr: 199vibe

With an encapsulating Ryder Cup Sunday fight back still fresh in the memory of even the vaguest sports fan, the global profile of golf is ever growing.

With it comes money. Brandt Snedeker won an immense $11.4m dollars for winning the FedEx Cup Tour Championship this year. Even with the slightly wimpy US dollar, that’s still over £6m. Almost banished is the nation’s image of retired men trudging slowly around the local club. I said almost. Whilst the collegiate golf system in the US has seen the likes of Tiger Woods come through

to unparalleled stardom, you’d be hard pressed to find an aspiring youngster who’s off to an English university to give themselves the best opportunity of ‘making it’ on the European or PGA tour.

could be fooled into thinking the floods from Noah’s Ark ran down on to The Bristol Golf Club fairways all those years ago; the water table here is quite extraordinary. Having played the course after a rare few days of Bristol sunshine in March last year, fairways were strangely sodden under foot and the greens were remarkably short of the Augusta standard.

Second-year Mainwaring says that drainage work is underway at the club, which is obviously good news. Admittedly, the course itself can boast quite unbelievable views out towards

our friends across the Severn Bridge. This coupled with a brilliant finishing stretch almost makes up for regular mud splatter and putting surfaces which are, for use of a better word, indifferent.

Investment and interest in the sport is showing no signs of plateauing and it’s only a matter of time before all UK universities start taking it as seriously as the likes of the impressive Exeter, where even off scratch you may sfall short, much like the Americans did on that brilliant Ryder Cup night.

Epigram

05.11.2012

35

Lacrosse Ladies match their male counterparts with resounding victories Cotinued from back page

The Men’s team was equally as successful, firing in 44 goals and conceding just three throughout the tournament, a particularly good achievement considering the 1st team captain, Eliot Wilde, was deputising in goal following an unfortunate injury to Bristol’s goalkeeper the week before.

The Men’s side faced Plymouth 2nds, Gloucester, Bath and Plymouth 1sts before playing Plymouth again in the final.

“

”

While Bristol may have been considered as contenders to win the competition from the offset, the new academic year saw a large number of the 1st team move onto pastures new, warranting some reshuffling within the club. On the day of the competition, just five

Tune into the Epigram Sport hour on BURST radio Laura Lambert Deputy Editor

Correction

Last issue we mistakenly credited Eugene Malthouse as Club Captain. It is, in fact, Matt Poole.

The victorious Mens and Ladies Teams will be hoping that their success carries on for the rest of the season

the dedication of our coaches.

We’re really pleased to see the Ladies side do so well, as the links between the two clubs have never been so strong.

We’re very positive about the

amount of development going on for lacrosse at the university, especially our relationship between the Bristol Bombers city team and our university teams.’

Players of the tournament for

the Ladies team were Imogen Rowe and Miranda Nicholes, and the men’s MVP was Dave Mosely. Every player in each of the Bristol squads present at the competition played incredibly

well and should be very proud of this achievement, hopefully one of many to come in what looks to be a promising season for both clubs.

Students welcome gym changes as Pulse Power gets positive praise After weeks of anticipation, the new ground floor of the Pulse fitness centre was finally opened last week to eager gym goers. With over £400,000 being spent on refurbishment and Olympic standard weight equipment, Sport Editor David Stone dons his tracksuit and goes investigating to fnd out what the weightlifters down there really think of it.

Despite the place having a slightly Eastern European industrial feel to it, the students themselves are rather happy with proceedings, even if we are only on first name terms...

‘Those in the third year and above will remember the tiny weights room we used to have where the machines are now.

Compared to that it’s great’

-Luke

‘It shouldn’t have taken so long to do. We had poor facilities for such a long time. But now I can’t complain with the changes!’

-Alex

‘The change isn’t a moment too soon! I used to not bother going after 9am because you couldn’t use anything, so I am very pleased.’

-Alex

‘It’s my first time here, looks like a great area to get fit for the wide range of sport that Bristol has to offer’ -Patrick ‘The improvement in space and equipment has been significant.

The old gym area was small but the new area has almost triple the space and equipment.’

-Gareth

UoB SPort

Monday afternoons have just got a whole lot better! David Stone and me, Laura Lambert, will be hosting a radio show filled with the biggest sports stories, live from the Student Union from 4-5pm. Whether the Rugby 1sts have won a big match, or your intramural netball team is the talk of your Halls, or maybe a national news story has grabbed your attention and needs ours too, we want to hear from you about all things sports-related.

Guests in the studio will include Club Captains from the University sports societies, key figures in the University sports departments, some of Bristol’s

London 2012 Olympians and students from the current High Performance Squad aiming for future Olympics and Paralympics.

Contact us by liking our Epigram Sport facebook page tweeting us @EpigramSport, emailing us at sport@epigram. org.uk or sending us a message via the Burst website.

Tim Barker

players from last year’s 1st team squad were playing, making this a real test of whether the introduction of a 2nd team last year had done the job of developing new players into premiership material.

A strong preseason certainly helped to instil an ethos of dedication and hard work within the team, and a focus on fitness showed itself in the final.

A tired and lacklustre Plymouth side, a fellow Premiership team, succumbed to a 7-0 defeat,. the south coast side were unable to deal with the pace and skill this Bristol team displayed.

It is worth noting that of the teams competing, only Bristol and Bath had coaches present.

This is something that clearly fed into the performance of the teams, and a sign of where lacrosse is really being developed in the south west.

Club Captain Tom Wall had this to say about the competition: ‘Whilst this season will still be tough, the team showed it has the potential to be one the best that Bristol has ever had, and this is due to the attitude of the players and

‘I couldn’t care less.

I just come to the gym to drink protein shakes and look in the mirror, admiring my muscles whilst wearing a skintight vest top.’

-Anon

Epigram

05.11.2012

Sport

Editor: David Stone

Deputy Editor: Laura Lambert

sport@epigram.org.uk

deputysport@epigram.org.uk

Lacrosse do the double over south west rivals in pre-season tournament

@epigramsport

Inside Sport The Centre for Sport, Exercise and Health has undergone a major upgrade, resulting in the contruction of a new Olympic standard weights room. Sport Editor David Stone checks it out. BURST Radio is now host to The Epigram Sport Hour, a new radio show covering all things sport at the university, as Laura Lambert explains.

Page 35 Bristol Cycling Club put in another strong performance at the BUCS Hill Climb event. Same Game tells us more.

Squash not only only has a thriving intramural system but also regularly competes competitively in fierce games against other universities, as Nick Bone reveals.

For many years the University of Bristol Golf Club has been one of the lesser known names on campus. Now with a resurgent public interest in the sport, George Moxey asks whether Bristol’s attitude towards the sport will change.

Page 34

Tim Barker

Lib Dear and Adam Scott Sports Reporters

job in goal.

The Ladies 2nd team did extremely well against other 1st teams, winning all their matches except Bath, who were to eventually meet the Bristol 1st team in the final.

After four games in the morning, the Ladies were particularly exhausted and the

Page 33

tournament tested the team’s level of fitness. This aside, they did a fantastic job in ensuring they used their skills to make the ball do the work, creating havoc amongst the Bath defence and ensuring a decisive 13-2 victory.

Continued inside on page 35

Can the new gym take the strain? Find out inside

UoB Sport

The University of Bristol Men’s and Ladies Lacrosse teams had flying starts to the season when they both won the inaugural south west England pre-season tournament,

staged in the magnificent surroundings of Westonbirt School in Gloucestershire.

The Ladies 1st team faced Exeter, Plymouth and Bournemouth and romped home with a total of 36 goals and conceding only two; special mention for this should go to Kate Evans who did a superb

Ethan Meades enters the world of sporting smart phone apps and reviews a shortlist of the best he’s found. Finally we have our fortnightly From The Dugout section in which we look forward to the sport fortnight ahead, as well as revealing our tweets of the week and other random goings on.