Epigram 350 - The Croft 11

the croft

Embracing the fear factor Because 2020 hasn't been scary enough, apparently

Lifestyle • Style • Food • Wellbeing • Travel

issue 11 26.10.20

Editor ORIN CARLIN Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER

editor's letter

top stories

5 Bristol

ghost tour 17 feeling lonely 23 night out safety inside

2 lifestyle 6 style 10 food 14 wellbeing 18 travel

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ear is complex. I’m no Derren Brown (though not for want of trying), but I understand that much. What always amazes me are the lengths that some will go to in order to intentionally scare the living daylights out of themselves, all under the pretence of entertainment. In the same way that my brain must have missed the genetic memo about enjoying exercise’s endorphins, I also actively avoid fear’s dopamine (which my blood pressure is totally fine with, the lack of physical exertion – not so much). My ability to find even the most mundane utterly frightening is borderline impressive – as a child I was genuinely afraid of Spice Up Your Life because I found the tune weirdly ominous. (Full disclosure in the interest of personal growth: I adore the

Logo by Bethany Marris

the croft

Spice Girls but still find that song slightly disconcerting.)

In The Croft this fortnight, we have catered for you Halloween-aficionados by suggesting alternative ways to celebrate (no easy feat, Covid-19 has ruined the best night of the clubbing calendar, zero fucks given) and some spooky home décor that’ll transform your student flat into a house of horrors – though your overflowing food bin might give us a run for our money.

But what to do when the pumpkins have turned into mush, the spirits have been thoroughly interrogated and your dentist has expressed their disapproval? Crawl out of bed and crack on with Christmas?

Hear ye, hear ye! I cannot bloody wait.

Orin x

THE TEAM The Croft Editor ORIN CARLIN The Croft Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS The Croft Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER The Croft Chief Proofreader ANNABEL MORGAN Style Editor MANON WILIAM Style Digital Editor MORGAN COLLINS Style Deputy Editor MAY GARLAND Style Sub-editor OLIVIA ANDREWS Food Editor SAVANNAH COOMBE Food Digital Editor MARIA SHEVCHENKO Food Deputy Editor TIM QUINEY Food Sub-editor PHOEBE RANSOM Wellbeing Editor ROSIE ANGEL-CLARK Wellbeing Digital Editor EVE COLEMAN Wellbeing Deputy Editor ELENA VENTURELLI Wellbeing Sub-editor SANJANA IDNANI Travel Editor DAISY GAME Travel Digital Editor MIA MUSA-GREEN Travel Deputy Editor REBECCA PARDON Travel Sub-editor SANJANA IDNANI Cartoonist ALICE PROCTOR

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Front cover: Orin Carlin

lifestyle

Illustration by Lizzie Burgess

Images by Epigram / Orin Carlin

Pillow Talk

Carrie Brizshaw, our resident sex columnist, takes on...

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Carrie's fellatio menu

little enthusiasm seems to go a long way!

This article would not be complete without mentioning the 'Gluck Gluck 9000', a term coined by sex podcast host, Alex Cooper. If you’ve ever felt an unquenchable thirst for water, then this concept should be simple. The penis is water and you just can’t get enough of it.

It should be sloppy, loud and smacking to unlock level 9000. God gave you hands for a reason so put them to good use and slide them up and down his shaft.

I put my own spin on it by sucking my partner’s balls while doing a double-hand twist on his penis. Of course, I make sure that he is properly lubed up with spit before I pull that move. There’s no need to give a man a Chinese burn. The main thing to remember is to enjoy yourself and be confident. Your partner, if he is decent, will want you to experience pleasure too.

So use that 'Gluck Gluck' energy and blow him like there is no tomorrow.

Sloppy Toppy Special One thing on the menu should be the tip of the penis. It is one of the most sensitive areas, so use your tongue and go crazy. I recommend doing circles with your tongue on the tip.

Tits and Lube Dessert A beautiful combination and one of my favourites. Cover your boobs with lube and use the tip of his dick to shape circles or figure-of-eights around your boobs.

Unsplash / Charles Deluvio

or a long time, I hated giving blowjobs – they just weren’t my cup of tea. Then I met the one.

No, not the love of my life but the perfect penis for me. It was just so clean. Once in your life, you will get the penis of your dreams and it will change everything. I used to think that penises were gross but now I can’t wait to get my lips around one. And the balls. If there's anything you need to know about me, it’s that I love balls. There is so much you can do with them: juggle, suck, kiss, lick and the list is endless. I guess it’s quite daunting, if you’ve never given a blowjob, to touch the balls simultaneously but, trust me, it’s worth your while.

Be careful though! Balls tend to be very sensitive so a light squeeze and a gentle suck should do it. Since I don’t particularly enjoy deep-throating, I find ball play to be the perfect substitute. It’s not that I don’t deep-throat, it just doesn’t need to be the main act. For me, it’s more of a supporting character that I bring back now and again, especially since my gag reflex is less than impressive.

My friend once told me that her ex had a below-average-sized penis so she would pretend to choke on it to make him feel better. Sure, it’s not for everyone but a

blowjobs

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Creepy cocktails

Just because you can’t go out doesn’t mean you can’t get drunk enough to be haunted by one hell of a hangover. Why not throw a spooky cocktail night for your flat or five of your favourite people! My personal recommendations are: Bloody Mary, Raspberry Daiquiri or my own favourite concoction of ice, grenadine, vanilla vodka and Coke that I like to call 'The Sweet Sinner'.

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If alcohol is not your thing, why not go for a classic horror movie marathon. Netflix has a wide selection, ranging from the slightly unsettling all the way up to sleeping-with-the-lights-onterrifying. I’m three episodes deep into The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020) and you can officially call me creeped out. Posh British children, freaky dolls and an absolutely massive country house – five-star spookiness right there.

Here are just a few ideas for horrors, thrillers and Halloween classics which are sure to be crowd pleasers: The Purge (2013), A Quiet Place (2018), Coraline (2009), Midsommar (2019) and The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993).

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Costume competitions

Are you feeling competitive yet? Try amping up the night with some friendly contests. Who can carve the best, or worst, pumpkin? (*Warning!* Carve with care; vodka and knives aren’t the best combination!) Who can dress in the scariest or sexiest costume?

Girls, let’s break out the bodycon dresses, devil horns and glitter. Guys, get those joker smiles ready. Also, one shot for every person you see on Instagram dressed as Trump or Boris Johnson, I’m predicting there may be more than a few this year!

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Still not the night for you?

Horror just a tad too scary?

Perhaps it’s time to go a little bit retro and bring out some of those Halloween games which were the height of fun at age seven. Think apple bobbing, doughnut on a string, toilet roll mummy wrap and pin the nose on the clown. *shudders*

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lifestyle

Bristol ghost tour Tara Ghias reveals the city's ghoulish secrets

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would frequently visit the brewery. The pub is allegedly haunted by 15 spirits, most notoriously that of a young boy named Pierre, who wears braces. His footsteps can apparently be heard echoing through the floorboards.

The SS Great Britain (bottom centre) is one of Bristol’s main attractions, with around 150,000 people visiting a year. The ship is supposedly haunted by a variety of former passengers and crew members; most notably Captain John Gray, whose disappearance during a voyage to Australia in November 1872 has garnered attention. The story is that he committed suicide by leaping out of his cabin window and that now his boots can be heard Inst walking along the ship’s agr am deck. Other sightings /Y include a sailor who died from an accident in the rigging and even a young bride who passed away on the ship only a few Un weeks after sp las her wedding. h Stephen King’s The Shining (1977) has immortalised hotels as hotspots for supernatural occurrences. Our contender for haunted hotel is Arnos Manor Hotel (left), just on the outskirts of Bristol. The hotel was built in 1760, adjacent to a chapel, which was run by nuns as a girls’ school. The main spirit said to lurk the hallways is a nun who committed suicide after discovering she was pregnant. Her body was bricked into the walls of the chapel in order to avoid a scandal. Several guests have reported feeling pressure on their chests, as if they are being held down by an unknown figure. e tt

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t is getting close to that time of the year again.

Halloween is fast approaching and though, because of COVID, it might not be in its regular shape or form, there is no stopping the eerie atmosphere from swooping through the city.

What better way to celebrate All Hallows' Eve than looking around some of the most haunted locations in Bristol? Whether you’re just looking for a bit of a spook or even researching potential date spots (yes, some people are into that), here are some of the most paranormal buildings in Bristol.

First on our list is a building most students have probably viewed coming into Bristol, but very few would be able to actually name if asked.

Dower House (top centre), situated in Stoke Park, was the primary residence of the Dukes of Beaufort in the 17th century.

One of the main sightings reported on the estate is that of a young girl believed to be Elizabeth Somerset, who died after falling from her horse and breaking her neck. Apparently the noise of hooves has also been heard by visitors around the grounds.

Next on our list is The Llandoger Trow (right), a pub in downtown Bristol (sadly closed for anyone fancying a bit of ghost hunting themselves) which has been explored by many paranormal investigators for its apparent ghost sightings. The pub’s origins date back to the 16th century, when many sailors and even pirates

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Editor MANON WILIAM Digital Editor MORGAN COLLINS Deputy Editor MAY GARLAND

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Autumn boot essentials A

Annabel Ditchfield shows us the best boots to buy this season

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utumn has arrived. Each day feels shorter than the last and the weather is getting colder. Summer dresses and sandals are long gone, with puffer coats and knitwear starting to creep back onto the high street. It is time to refresh your autumn wardrobe and get ready for rainy season. The perfect place to start is with a decent pair of boots. These will help you to glide through the autumnal months with ease.

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The surprising trend that was continually showcased throughout various AW20 collections was the Wellington boot.

Practical and functional, these boots will keep your toes dry all autumn long.

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Effortlessly cool and comfortable, these boots are an essential purchase for anyone looking to turn heads this autumn. If you’re heading out in the evening, try styling these with a dress or skirt.

For a more laid-back look, pair these boots with loose-fitting jeans.

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by Bottega Veneta and Valentino, chunky Chelsea boots are a must-have this season. They are both practical and sturdy and therefore perfect for stomping around in.

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If you're feeling bold this autumn, why not invest in a pair of brightly-coloured boots? They are a great way to jazz up your wardrobe. Match with the same colour handbag or dramatically contrast them with a neutral outfit.

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From rubber wellies to chunky soles, the boot is an autumn wardrobe staple. Treat yourself to a pair and you won’t regret it.

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Y2K trends

style

Manon Wiliam tells us how to rock these noughties looks

Hair clip, £12 | Urban Outfitters

h, the decade we grew up in! From Britney to Bratz, whether you love the trends or would rather leave them in the past, we can’t take our eyes off the iconic and particularly feminine fashions of the noughties which undoubtedly, in some way, have helped form our own styles today. So, if you’re feeling nostalgic and are up for a blast from the past, we have the perfect looks in store for you. But I warn you, after checking out the items ahead, you may catch yourself wanting to call your parents to ask whether they kept those stick-on crystal tattoos from when you were seven.

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Cute a very 2020

Sophie Hutchison gives us her top tips to pimp up your Halloween looks

The couples' costume one Couples' costumes always go down well at Halloween. If you’re Wes Anderson fans, go as Agatha and Zero from The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) – one of you will need a purple shirt and a homemade purple bellboy cap, whilst the other just needs a Peter Pan-collared top and skirt plus Agatha’s signature birthmark on her cheek. Or for a more wholesome approach, throw it back to your childhood with an Arthur and DWinspired outfit by popping on a pair of bear ears (obviously they're aardvarks though, guys) and you’re good to go.

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The sexy one In the eternal words of Mean Girls’ (2004) Cady Heron, ‘Halloween is the one time of year when a girl can dress like a total slut and nobody can say anything about it.’

Personally, I believe that quote-unquote ‘slutty’ dressing should be encouraged all year round, but there’s no denying everybody loves a sexy Halloween costume. You really can’t go wrong with a Playboy bunny outfit – pair some ears with a black corset or any skimpy top, tights or stockings, and, of course, a tail.

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his spooky season may not live up to the previous year's; with no parties or club nights on the cards, a Covid-friendly Halloween almost seems like it’s not worth dressing up for. But, whether you’re going to the pub or staying at home, here are some easy and inexpensive outfit ideas to get you in the spirit.

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The ‘there’s a pandemic happening, I’m staying at home’ one If your plans for Halloween consist of staying at home and eating your way through one of those huge tubs of Halloween sweets from Clifton Down Sainsbury’s, that’s still no excuse for not wearing something vaguely festive.

A striped pyjama set doubles as a convincing Beetlejuice (1988) costume, if anyone asks…

The minimal-effort one Since there’ll be no parties this year, it might be sensible to work with what you’ve got already instead of splashing out on a whole new outfit – animal ears never fail. If you’re after an easy costume that’s bound to get a few laughs, wear an Adidas hoodie or any brown top, trousers, dad trainers and draw on some stubble. Who are you?

The Robert Pattinson meme, obviously.

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costumes: Halloween

With Olivia Andrews It seems that protecting our skin is more pertinent now than ever. And yes, this is probably the most first world, privileged issue possible to arise out of a global crisis.

Nonetheless, these small little outbreaks resulting from wearing a mask have now been given their very own nickname – ‘maskne’.

These products are what I have been using to help.

Anti-Redness Exfoliating Solution, £28 | Paula's Choice My skin needs something strong in these exceptional times, and Paula’s Choice’s Anti-Redness Exfoliating Solution (I use the extra strength version) is just what I need. This is packed full of salicylic acid, the perfect ingredient to reach down into the pores and effectively clear them out. I dab a few drops of this onto a cotton pad and apply it to my breakout-prone areas and by morning they are less inflamed and have calmed significantly.

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The movie character one Put down the fake blood and the black bob wig, society has progressed past the need for Mia Wallace Halloween costumes. Some marginally more original costumes that will still let everyone know you’re the definition of cultured include: Juliet from Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet (1996) – all you need is a white midi or maxi dress and some white wings. Or, take after Zoe Kravitz and slip on a black mini dress, black fur coat and sunglasses for that Marla Singer look, from Fight Club (1999). Don’t forget the cigarette!

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Ren Anti-Redness Serum, £36 Look Fantastic After that has been absorbed into my skin, I apply one pump of Ren’s Anti-Redness Serum (I think we can see a running theme here) and pat it in all over my face and neck. It’s so calming and hydrating which your skin will love as it still needs adequate hydration in order to heal inflammation.

It visibly reduces signs of irritation as it strengthens the skin's barrier. Made with naturally derived ingredients, it feels lovely and gentle on the skin.

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Editor SAVANNAH COOMBE Digital Editor MARIA SHEVCHENKO Deputy Editor TIM QUINEY

Kick it up a notch

Savannah says:

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The Food team share their favourite hacks for upping your cooking game and impressing your flatmates

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ooking can be daunting. In most student households, there exists a vast range of skillsets and tastebuds.

One of my flatmates prefers to live on tuna pasta and shop-bought bagels, while another cannot cook a meal unless it’s a two-day affair that uses just about every pot in our arsenal.

My team and I have attempted to introduce you to items that most people buy ready-made from the supermarket but are actually easy to make regardless of your ability. Time to level up!

My suggestion is that you scrap the deliaisle guacamole and try to make it yourself.

Guac is easy, healthy and super customisable to whatever’s in your fridge. Dip crisps into it or chuck a big old blob on your chilli. For a generous portion: blend two ripe avocados, a finely-chopped quarter white onion, a teaspoon of hot chilli powder, salt and the juice of half a lemon in a food processor or mash together with a fork for a chunkier guac. Experiment with different ratios to figure out what you like best.

Dharma Carlin

Phoebe says:

Tim says:

As the days grow darker and colder, soup consumption will no doubt increase. With their warming and nourishing qualities, soups act as a perfect buffer against the cold autumn evenings. Whilst the 50p tins of soup from Sainsbury’s may seem hard to beat, I can assure you that homemade soup triumphs!

You can whack pretty much any veg into soup – this dish is great for any leftover or overripe vegetables. In the soup I made, I had some spare sweet potatoes and added this to roasted butternut squash, taking advantage of the autumn produce. I blended these along with onions, garlic and vegetable stock and seasoned with cinnamon, paprika and lots of chilli flakes to enhance the warming sensation. I also added some coconut milk (or alternatively, cream) to thicken and add richness to the soup. With pumpkin season upon us, I recommend saving the innards of your pumpkin carving. Surprisingly, soups are freezeable so batch cook and then pop them in the freezer to save for cold days! It’s ‘soup-er’ simple!

In my first year I remember reading about upgrading any pasta dish really easily and cheaply by using sausages. It sounds strange, but while the pasta is boiling, remove the sausage meat from its casing and fry it up in an oiled hot pan to get really good colour. Sausages are pre-seasoned unlike minced beef or chicken and can be very cheap. More gourmet-flavoured sausages can also be used! The meat will crumble up and infuse the dish with flavour and will also cook much faster than if the meat was still in the casing. Toss the almost-cooked pasta in with the meat, optionally with any cooked or raw vegetables, and finish by simmering with your chosen sauce for a really simple but flavourful dish.

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food

Easy golden gnocchi

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Maria Shevchenko shares the recipe for her gnocchi

aking gnocchi is much easier than it seems, and it only requires three ingredients: flour, potatoes and an egg.

This is a really fun, cheap and easy recipe to make with housemates on a frosty autumn evening. Gnocchi also freezes very well, so is perfect to make in bulk and keep in the freezer for when you’re feeling lazy and in the mood for carbs!

Epigram / Maria S

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Ingredients One kilogram of potatoes (find a variety that are not too starchy or too waxy) 400g plain flour A large egg Three tbsp salted butter Three stalks of fresh sage

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Boil potatoes until soft (around 15-20 minutes). Drain, cool, peel and mash.

Mix egg into the mash and place the mixture onto a table or chopping board.

Gradually add in flour and knead until it forms a non-sticky dough.

Roll into a long sausage shape (around one cm thick) and cut into one-two cm pieces.

Boil the gnocchi in a deep saucepan of salted water.

Once the gnocchi start to float, remove and drain them.

Melt butter in a pan with a few stalks of sage.

Add gnocchi to the pan and flash fry over a high heat until crispy and golden.

Pour into a bowl and season to taste.

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Love letters to autumn Our favourite Bristol-based food Instagrammers share what they love about the new season

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Emma says:

Epigram / Emma Love

utumn is my favourite time of year for many reasons, mainly because of all the seasonal food options. I love eating squash all year, but when October rolls around I can get my hands on pumpkins and make some really warming meals: pumpkin risotto, spicy pumpkin soup, creamy pumpkin pasta, the list goes on and on. If you and your flatmates are carving pumpkins for Halloween, save the insides from going to waste in the bin and make sure you use them for a tasty and warming autumnal dish instead!

Now they’re in season, all types of squash are going to taste even better than usual and can be a little cheaper to get hold of. Buying fruit and veg seasonally is also better for the planet, with vegetables travelling much shorter distances before they get to your plate so they have a smaller carbon footprint. @emmagetsbread

Francesca says:

I can’t wait for cosy pub lunches, mac and cheese that burns the top of your mouth when you’re too impatient to wait for it to cool down, spicy Asian noodles and lots of chippy dinners enjoyed tucked up at home. Apple crumbles (and when I’m hungover, McDonald’s apple pies) will be sure to come in plenty, as will lots of roasted lamb shoulders – I like it slow cooked so it goes extra crispy and served with a big old bowl of roasties! I’m also excited to escape the cold in all of Bristol’s hidden gems of independent restaurants. Pigsty and Muino have to be up there for me as old-time favourites, and I’m looking forward to exploring the many new launches and pop ups like Om Burger, Breaking Bread and Mr Noodle - which was started by two Michelin-trained chefs! @piggieandporkie

Theresa says: Epigram / Francesca Fox

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When I think of autumn, I think of pumpkin spice. Not to be basic, but like everyone else, I love a pumpkin spiced latte. This year M&S have released their very own blend of pumpkin spice which I have been loving in my morning coffees. Coffee is another one; as the weather has begun to turn, I’ve been swapping my afternoon brunches to morning coffees. There is something about meeting up with friends at a café to grab a warm drink and a sweet treat that really sums up the autumn feeling for me. @this_babe_caneat

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A token of hope: food the Billy Chip

Phoebe Altman explains the local Bristol scheme that is on a mission

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Spilling the tea: Tim’s tasty tips Spending a little bit more time inside could be likely this term, so having a project other than university work, for me, will be key to staying level-headed.

Focaccia making is a great example, as it is less daunting than standard bread making.

There are loads of great recipes online to make this flat, crispy-outside-doughyinside bread, varying in proving times and method, which basically means your focaccia will be as good as you want to make it!

There are just as many no-knead recipes as those involving folding if you’ve got more time on your hands. You can find instant and active dry yeast recipes, or if you still have a sourdough starter going (congratulations) then that works really well too.

Most recipes do require, along with good olive oil and salt, time – just a low maintenance, overnight proof in the fridge. You can keep it traditionally simple or stud the top with extra flavours like garlic, olives, rosemary, vegetables or even firmer fruit like plums, figs or cherry tomatoes!

The best part about focaccia for me though is that, if it has all gone a bit wrong and turns out too doughy or not salty enough, I can rip the leftovers into large chunks, oil and season them and then grill to make hearty, crispy oversized-crouton salads. Even when it turns out great, once it starts to get a bit stale it still makes for a good few days’ worth of grilled garlic bread, croutons, salads and snacks!

Epigram / Tim Quiney

hen we went into lockdown, the Government pledged £3.2m of emergency funds to local authorities to house people who were sleeping on the streets or at high risk of sleeping rough during the pandemic. As we approached the end of the strictest lockdown measures in late June however, it was announced that the government had quietly pulled the plug on the funding they were providing to protect homeless people from the virus, forcing our country’s most vulnerable back on the streets.

Bristol has one of the highest rates of homelessness in the UK, but there is a tiny token of hope within the despair and that is the Billy Chip.

‘The Billy Chip is a token that can be purchased for a £2 donation via a retail outlet which supplies take away beverages like tea and coffee. The purchaser receives the Billy Chip which can be given to any homeless person instead of money. The homeless person can redeem the Billy Chip in any participating outlet displaying the Billy Chip sign for a hot or cold takeaway drink.’

The idea came from a 20-year-old ambulance driver in Bristol called Billy who tragically died before he could see his vision come to life. His family continued to produce this chip in his legacy so they can now be found throughout Bristol and have recently been introduced to various surrounding towns and cities. Every time you purchase a Billy Chip, money goes towards the Billy Abernethy-Hope Foundation so the charity can continue with their incredible work.

This scheme allows the general public to help homeless people with the knowledge and reassurance that their money will not be spent on alcohol, drugs or cigarettes, which is unfortunately the common perception. It provides the homeless person with the independence to choose what they would like to buy whilst creating an opportunity for a genuine human

connection, helping to break the stigma surrounding homelessness.

Their vision for the future is to develop the scheme so that the chips can be used for food and a night in a safe, warm place – the more donations they receive, the higher the chance that this can be a possibility for the homeless population of Bristol.

On their website you can find all the participating outlets, including Boston Tea Party, Better Food, My Burrito, Rob & Ruby’s and many more, so make sure to check where the nearest place is to you or alternatively look out for their logo in shop windows around the city!

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Editor ROSIE ANGEL-CLARK Digital Editor EVE COLEMAN Deputy Editor ELENA VENTURELLI

Practice makes imperfect Ru Burroughs explores how alternative religion can support wellbeing

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connected by one energy. These connections are visible in our ur global economy is based on perfectionism; complex ecosystems which show us that we are a part of constantly demanding that we should always an unfathomably vast network of life. Humanity and be in pursuit of something ‘better’ to achieve nature are intertwined, part of the same cycle of life materialistic fulfilment, and therefore to and death, growth and aging. achieve success. This bleeds out into the most unlikely and Paganism acknowledges that we all take different important areas of our lives, including our mental health. paths in life, so there is no ‘right’ path. No two PaWhether in our jobs, relationships or academic career, we gans share the same set of beliefs: some believe often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and that magick should never be used against other this can become detrimental to our wellbeing. people, while others think that hexes should be So many of us grind ourselves to the bone in pursuit used against perpetrators in cases of abuse or asof what we think is our perfect self. But, in reality, we sault, for example. are all imperfect and can get overwhelmed by the intenImperfection in nature creates variation, evolusity of life. One in four people will experience a mental tion: nature is imperfect, and she functions perfectly health issue in their lifetime. It is so common, yet we fine. struggle to forgive ourselves for it.

To borrow a quote from The Midnight Gospel on I found Paganism just when I needed it most. I was death: ‘Even if you’re afraid to turn toward it, turn in the middle of my A-Levels, insecure about my identoward it. It won’t hurt you. And see what it has to tity and struggling to manage my increasingly severe teach you.’ cycles of anxious and depressed moods. I was afraid of This philosophy can be applied to all unpleasant failure and would hold myself to increasingly impossiemotions; ups and downs are a part of the human ble standards without any allowances for mistakes. experience. Life is complex, in tune with nature, with Then a new friend entered my life who had been a cycles of good and bad moments. practising Pagan for a few years. As I was a mythology I think that Paganism has helped me move towards enthusiast, they asked if I had ever considered makunderstanding this. It encourages us to view ouring an offering to a deity. selves as a part of nature and to celebrate our unique They recommended a few texts to read and two s ugh o r r variations and imperfections. things from my research stuck with me in particular: Bu u Nothing’s perfect and some days my beliefs don’t help one, everyone’s practice is unique; two, to celebrate / m a my mental health, but they always remind me that, although it’s life and positive experiences fully, we need to accept Epigr hard, it is natural and human to feel this way. negativity and even death as a part of them.

Bristol Pagan Collective is a new student group exploring Paganism asked me to consider myself as part of the natuPagan paths and ideas around magickal ral world around me, rather than as separate from it. practices. Currently, we run online Many branches of Paganism follow nature-based rituals classes looking at divination and and use herbs for magickal intentions. It is based on the spellwork, online rituals and principle that all things in the natural world are socials!

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Rosi e Angel-Clark

Supporting your friends The Wellbeing Editors give their best advice on being there for each other

Quality bonding time can be one of the best ways to support your friends!

Just a quick coffee can bring about a change in scene and encourages you both to adopt the routine of getting ready and out – something that can be so grounding after a lull at home. Time with one or two people rather than a big event can take the pressure off being social while ensuring you and your friends don’t get too isolated!

- Sanjana

It can be hard to know what to do if your friend is in need. One way is to figure out what their ‘love language’ is. You can categorise the ways people receive love into five ‘love languages’: touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service. Think about which ones make your friend happiest. If you don’t know which of these resonates more with them, think about the way they show love to other people. If you know what someone’s ‘love language’ is, the smallest gesture can make a world of difference .

- Elena

Different people seek different forms of help from their friends. Some people share what they’re going through and seek to work through the problem with someone else. Others often just want to verbalise their scrambled thoughts to someone that they trust and to feel that they have been truly listened to. Being a good listener is something that we can all work on – starting with asking our friends what they would most appreciate when they need help: advice, related experience, or simply a sympathetic ear.

- Rosie

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We’re always told that in order to look after others we have to look after ourselves first, but when you care about someone it can be easy to lose sight of this. Forgetting to put boundaries in place can leave you feeling drained. Try combatting this by taking the time to be with yourself and other friends, and make the things you love doing a priority.

You’ll build the energy to support your friends when they need you, and be a more effective shoulder to lean on.

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- Eve

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wellbeing See you through the screen...

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ords we’re still finding ourselves sayk ing now that term has offi/ lar am gel-C r cially begun. g Epi ie An s After months spent in a Ro weird state of limbo, we now have a purpose again.

You’ll soon be back in the swing of things. Running down Whiteladies so as to not be late for a class or spending hours sat daydreaming in various Source cafés when you should be working on an essay.

Except this year, things are a bit different. Instead of making the journey from house to University, we’re making the much shorter trip from bed to desk.

And for some, blended learning is heavenly: being able to go to a seminar in your pyjamas with a mug of hot coffee sounds pretty appealing. However, for others, the move to online learning can be hugely isolating and really rather stressful.

Of course, we all love our courses – they’re the reason we’re here, right?! But sometimes the only thing motivating us to get out of bed is the prospect of seeing our friends. When we interact with others our brain releases ‘happy hormones’.

So, when our days are spent confined to our bedrooms it can be easy to overthink. This is where it’s really important to get out and see people.

Sometimes when you’re not feeling great, the last thing you want to do is get ready to go out, but don’t underestimate the positive effects of meeting a friend for coffee or a walk.

Online learning can create a plethora of worries, from not seeing your mates so much to the quality of teaching you’re receiving. But remember that everyone is in the same boat. Staff and students have been thrown into a brand-new situation and we’re all trying to do our best. If you’re struggling academically then do what you normally would and contact your personal tutor or lecturer.

But most importantly, remember that this is a weird time and you’re not strange for feeling a bit lost. My advice is this: stay in touch with your friends and make sure you get out of the house.

Caitlin Palmer O’Shaughnessy Wellbeing Columnist

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can’t get enough of the pitchers of Pimm’s at Steam: either way, it can be difficult to know what to do when faced with the question; to drink, or not to drink?

My advice? Firstly, if people can’t understand why you’d prefer to remain s o b e r,

Epigram / Rebecaa Widdowson

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t h e n these aren’t the sort of people you want to be friends with. There’s never an excuse for forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do. You should never feel as though you should compromise your beliefs just to make new friends.

Secondly, know your limits.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I have had to pick a mate up off the pavement or be picked off the pavement myself. We’ve all played drinking games before and it can sometimes feel as if you have no choice but to down your drink (and half of someone else’s), but before you do, ask yourself: am I sure this is my decision?

If you know that downing a ton of alcohol in one go is going to make you chunder, don’t do it! It doesn’t matter if the other people at the table are disappointed. At the end of the night, they’re not the ones who’ll spend the night cradling the toilet – you are.

Finally, remember that university life is all about having fun. If what you’re doing in your free time isn’t making you happy, then maybe it’s time to try something new.

The common definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

It’s madness to think things will turn out differently if you know everything goes sideways when you drink and you always wake up with a hangover.

Remember: it’s always ok to say no to drinking.

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icture this.

It’s late morning. You’re struggling to find an area on the kitchen table that’s clean or at least not sticky (sticky with what exactly, you’re not sure and you never will be). As you sit down to eat breakfast, you find yourself counting the number of beer cans currently in the room like it’s a game of Where’s Wally? The current tally is 12.

You forgot to take out the recycling again and that mound of vodka bottles isn’t growing any smaller. On the way out, you count one last beer can: somehow wedged between the sofa cushions despite being half full.

Secretly, you applaud its owner’s ingenuity. For those of you living with students, especially in first or second year, this is most likely part of your weekly routine. Lectures. Tutorials. Drinking till the room spins. It’s all just a part of student life… right?

Hand on my heart, I can honestly say that drinking alcohol has never held much appeal for me, aside from giving me plenty of opportunities to observe my friends’ drunken disasters and, where possible, try to prevent them.

For those of us who elect to remain sober at parties, it’s like there’s a countdown on how much enjoyment you can get out of the evening when everyone else is drinking.

It gets to a point when things are only funny if you are also drunk, leaving you feeling side-lined, maybe even to the

extent where you consider joining in with the drinking too. (Speaking from experience, don’t bother. You’ll never catch up to everyone else in time.)

Funnily enough, I can’t say I experienced much peer pressure to drink as a fresher. It’s only now, starting my second year, that the empty time before uni restarts has been filled with drinking, drinking and more drinking.

As a house we’ve spent more on alcohol

Epigram / James

Rebecca Widdowson considers the pressures of university drinking culture

than food for the past month; that’s a red flag if I’ve ever seen one. And alcohol is EXPENSIVE. Obviously, this means we buy the cheap and cheerful own brands which taste like paint stripper but get you drunk all the same.

Now – more than ever – it can feel difficult to escape the drinking culture at university, especially if it’s taking up space, rent-free, in your house. Maybe you’re living with people who prefer partying over studying, or your friends

wellbeing

The pressure to find forever-friends

Sophie Downes shares her tips for getting through the first few lonely weeks

Epigram / Rosie Angel-Clark

1. Mindset. Remind yourself that you won’t be the only person struggling with loneliness. Try to ignore the people who are parading their amazing first few weeks on social media; Instagram and Snapchat will never show you the entire story.

2. Societies are your best friends. They are a great way of making friends with like-minded people. Whilst the ban on indoor sports means not all societies will be running this year, there are still loads to get involved with. Why not try something new?

the incorrect belief that everyone else has already found an ideal group of their best friends. This year, with the added restrictions of 10pm curfews, groups of six and constant reminders to socially distance, it may seem harder than ever to meet new people. So, what can be done? Below is a list of tips that helped me during my Freshers’ week, as well as ways to work around Covid-19 and meet new people:

Epigram / Rosie Angel-Clark

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t dawned on me very early in my Freshers’ week that no one ever discussed the idea of loneliness at university. I was told that university was where I’d meet some of my forever-friends, and was promised some of the best few years of my life.

But what happens if you don’t meet your kind of people immediately? Initially, I found it very daunting and isolating to be placed with a group of strangers in a new environment, hours away from my family and friends at home.

If you don’t immediately get on with your flatmates, you might worry that those lifelong friends you’ve heard so much about might actually never materialise. Likewise, in a generation where everything is put on social media, it’s very easy to adopt

3. Think of creative ways to go out. Despite the closure of clubs, there’s still room for activities and nights out – albeit in smaller groups. So, whether it’s pub quizzes, movie nights or coffee dates to name a few, use your imagination to prompt some fun nights with different groups of people.

4. Go to your classes. Another impact of the 10pm curfew means you’re probably not too busy for face-to-face teaching (of course, if you’re isolating please do not attend).

Those few hours a week might be where you meet a course mate and possibly a friend for life.

5. Be brave! You don’t know who is having the same feelings as you. Message the person you met a few days ago and see if they want to meet. Put a message on your course group chat – or any of the Freshers’ Facebook groups – and see if anyone would be down for doing something. While it’s scary to put yourself out there, you never know what you might gain.

6. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to not have everything sorted out straight away. In the meantime, embrace the uncertainty of the first few weeks of term. Adopt a long-term approach; things will get better. You’ve got this.

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Louie Bell celebrates Halloween with a travel horror story set off for Aqaba.

Tired to our bones upon arrival, we were jolted awake by the border police.

The trouble? An analysis of Ben’s bag. He was ordered to open it up and, judging by their attitude, present the weapons of mass destruction he was obviously stashing in his bumbag. They pulled out ... his GoPro. Here follows an excerpt from that day’s diary entry: Saturday 1st February 2020 ...The border guard then said the fateful words “Policeman will take you away.”

Well, fuck! He took our passports and GoPro and led us to – an interrogation room? It looked more like the shittest, tackiest travel agents in the world: all rickety chairs, mucky glass doors and dusty photos on the wall.

We sat in silence whilst the officer thumbed our passports and gave us the most intense, unreadable side-eye I’ve ever received. I almost laughed – but then remembered that this could genuinely be our arrest, and piped right down.

He told us in fragmented English that it was illegal to film underwater with a GoPro, in case we were planning to surreptitiously film Jordanian women underwater.

Glancing at each other, suspected camera sex pests, Ben and I wondered how we might film underwater in a country noted for being almost entirely a desert.

Thankfully, he let us off with Ben’s GoPro and I shook his hand in an attempt to seem… Respectable? Genuine? Not a pervert? Do suspected submarine camera perverts shake hands with their accusers?!

I must now take a moment to emphasise that Jordan, despite slightly flustering first impressions, is a wonderful country.

The sheer expanse of Wadi Rum, the ancient majesty of Petra and the stars that illuminate the utter stillness of the desert night mean that I’d recommend it to anyone looking to see some impressive sights and meet some fantastic people.

In fact, it’s so good, you might even forget that you’ve been banned from doing all your favourite sneaky underwater filming. Whilst in a desert.

Epigram / Louie Bell

eginning a trip with a disaster has become a tradition. The Nepalese government gave me the wrong visa upon arrival, I was evacuated from a German train whilst interrailing due to one of the largest storms of the year and don’t even get me started on my flat tyre when cycling to Holland!

As one for tradition, my arrival in Jordan this February began with a semi-arrest and interrogation at the border.

Some background: since starting University, my friend and fellow Geographer Ben had been travelling Europe in an effort to see as much of the continent as he could before the heaving gates of Brexit closed it off forever.

But his traveller’s gaze had begun to reach further afield. We were both fans of David Lean’s 1962 epic Lawrence of Arabia, so we agreed to pop to Jordan, where much of it was filmed, for a weekend.

I brushed aside concerns from my mother – ‘Darling, you do know Jordan shares a border with Syria don’t you? You do? All right. Text me when you get there then’ – and on a damp Bristol evening, we caught a train from Temple Meads to Essex (God’s own county) and from there

Travel terrors Epigram / Louie Bell

Editor DAISY GAME Digital Editor MIA MUSA-GREEN Deputy Editor REBECCA PARDON

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travel

Power of a picture

Sanjana Idnani considers the lessons Hassan Hajjaj’s exhibition, The Path, might be able to teach today’s travellers

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This striking reclamation of identity, culture and representation comes with a great message for travellers: seek colour, animation, beauty.

Epigram / Sanjana Idnani

arrived at the Arnolfini expecting to spend a typical artsy day at the nationally renowned gallery, but as I entered Hassan Hajjaj’s exhibition The Path, I was transported into a world of far grander scale.

Hassan Hajjaj is a Moroccan-British photographer whose work explores the act of journeying, starting with his own journey from Morocco to London. The first section, ‘Between’, showcases how Hassan navigates his everyday life in London, but the exhibition quickly removes us from the familiar and lifts us into a world of movement, vibrance and fun.

What strikes me about Hajjaj’s work is the sensory experience he creates for the wanderers who roam about his exhibition. As you enter, you hear an eclectic set of beats in a distant auditorium, reflecting the personal set of rockstars Hajjaj has met along his travels, and reminiscent of the mix of different lives and cultures you drift in and out of whilst globetrotting.

Hajjaj adds to this experience by using various brands in the framing of his work. A familiar can of Sprite – green, yellow, white – but with the name itself written in Arabic, is emblematic of the globalisation that has come to dominate travel: you are reminded of the plethora and richness of the dialects and culture around you.

By juxtaposing everyday brands with splashes of colour in his photography, we are struck with the blend of familiarity and difference that connect us internationally: the sense that there is a common yet diverse experience stretching across the planet.

Though acknowledging its undeniable presence, Hajjaj doesn’t simply frame his perspective on global culture around a Western and commercialised model. This is most poignantly realised in the section ‘Darrak Marrakchia’ in which Moroccan women stand in power poses – assertive – challenging the common portrayal of them as oppressed and silent.

Question your expectations.

Do not project a monolithic outlook upon the multi-faceted world around us.

The Path reminded me that it is wonder, newness and boldness that I seek when I travel and I hope to rekindle these feelings when I begin to take journeys once again.

Hajjaj’s exhibition is running until 1 November at the Arnolfini.

There’s a lack of holidaymakers, but life goes on under the cover of masks…

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Xander Brett Travel Columnist

he bistros full, the baguettes are baked. Later than planned, the Tour de France goes on too: an annual voyage to check-up on the provinces.

At 6 pm on 20 September, the peloton circled the Arc de Triomphe. There’s a screech of jets and a tricolour is swiped across the sky. Cheers of ‘Vive la France’ rise up.

In half an hour, delegates gather to sing ‘La Marseillaise’, to drink champagne, and to toast the end of this magnificent jour-

ney. From Nice, they wound through the Pyrenees, up the Alps and along the Massif Central. Now, on the Champs-Élysées, we watch their laps of honour.

I have little interest in cycling. I’d never heard of Tadej Pogačar. But watching helicopter shots of chateaux and mountains on television, and standing now at the heart of France as the tour ends, the patriotism is moving.

The Tour de France is a chance for regions to show themselves off. Bastille Day is uniting, but it is, quite rightly, centred only on Paris. The Tour de France is a travelling Bastille Day. Unsplash / Rafael Garcin

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City of Spires and the Alethiometer – Oxford had to be in here. If you’re looking to travel a little further afield, it only takes £15 and a couple of hours on the train to get to this infamously bookish destination. So stick on a pair of corduroy trousers (yes, that’s an order) and kick about some college courtyards for the day. (Bonus points if it’s Epigram / Tom T raining. Bonus BONUS points aylor if you get to meet one of the gargoyles who inspired C.S. Lewis’ in-the-wardrobe stone animals.

Hint: they hang out at Magdalen...)

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Birdcage

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Winding its way through the bramble-and-nettle choked graveyard of what was once St Andrew’s Church, the Birdcage Walk is perfect for any morbidly-minded traveller. This spot really boasts the hallmarks of the Dark Academia (DA) aesthetic: grand tombstones – often cracked and cobwebbed – flank the tree-tunnel path, whilst a set of cast iron lamp posts light any wanderer’s way through the dusk. The Birdcage is best experienced as a group: consider setting up your own Dead Poets Society to explore it with. Gravestones and pretence? Winner.

Ashton

Epigram / Daisy Game

Ashton House sits nestled in a cosy nook of its expansive grounds complete with wandering deer.

There’s also a courtyard café, so you can bring a book and sip a coffee in autumnal solitude. (Quick word of warning – food and drink is only being served outside at the moment – so bring an umbrella and/or a scarf!) Think the mystery and aesthetic of The Secret History: only turned British – and minus the murder.

Tyntesfield

Wills Library

Another day-tripper, Tyntesfield is the overachieving older sibling to Ashton.

Originally built as a *ahem* modest family home, the house was later given a gothic makeover. There’s woodland to wander, an intriguingly described ‘empty lake’ (spooky?), plus the appealingly spiky architecture of the houseturned-mansion itself. An Uber from campus costs around £30 return, so gather your group of gothic enthusiasts and make a day of it.

Bristol’s DA location-in-residence: take a pew in Wills Memorial Library to fully live the aesthetic.

Whilst it’s not quite so easy to just pop in and wander around as it once was (you do need to book your seat in the library this term), if you’re seeking a truly bookish destination, this is the place to be. It’s all wooden bookshelves, big windows and scrunched-in-study eyebrows: if only candles were allowed...

A dark-academia themed guide to Bristol

Take Daisy Game’s themed tour of Bristol – and a little bit beyond – to get you in It’s all libraries, rainy days, hot coffee and corduroy trousers. the mood for cool nights This is the celebration of all things a bit bookish yet spooky! and autumn colours

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Travel through the p(ages)

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Lalla Aurey imagines what a trip to Italy might look like through the eyes of author Tomasi Di Lampedusa

he Leopard by Di Lampedusa may not be a book to focus on the act of travel, but the countryside in which the characters live is so vivid and sunlit – so different to my own rain and people-filled winter – that Lampedusa’s is the literary landscape I would like to visit.

Telling the story of protagonist Don Fabrizio’s retreat from the politics of Garibaldi’s Palermo to the time-lost Donnafugata, Lampedusa’s writing evokes the simmering landscapes of burnt out Sicilian grass; the lifting and flattening yellow earth and lonely roads running faded around slight hills, later disappearing into the darker smudges of scrub-filled slope.

I can imagine walking along the dusty roads, cooled by those same dry gusts of breeze that had pulled at Don Fabrizio’s cloak.

I would stop later, as Don Fabrizio did, by an old shepherd’s hut to lift ice cold water dripping from the well and, in the shade of its stone walls, eat packed olives and handfuls of bread, drinking warm local wine and feeling the sunlight soft and gold across my eyelashes.

D o n nafugata, apart from the Leopards Palace, would be one of those traditional Italian villages seen in magazines and adverts: full of small, narrow roads and windows peering into each other.

I would stay in a small bed and breakfast, an old one, with a long tradition of guests and that musty smell of wine cellars, fading leather and cold stone floors.

I would wake in the early morning, before the sun, and walk out into the cool haze of countryside, feel the dawn air, damp against my skin.

Feeling the crunch of stones and dust beneath my shoes and watching the warm flicker of the sun rising and casting the

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bare fields in silver blues, picking out corn stems in golden pinks and yellows. I would watch the soft blue tyre treads sharpen into tracks which slice across the acres, dissolving up into the yellowing sky. The early morning breeze would pick up and slowly blow out the stars, dropping them down after the fading blues of the night.

Stopping on a rocky crest, I would stand and catch my breath – watching scraggly trees stretch out their early morning shadows – and feel the dew lifting about my feet with the spreading hum of sunlight.

Below me, in the yellowing dawn, I would almost be able to see the dark cloaks of Don Ciccio and Don Fabrizio, and floating ahead, the slight and pointing figure of Teresina.

If you could visit a fictional destination, where would you choose?

Epigram / Daisy Game

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Zero chill python This guy is clearly having a really bad day.

Could serve as a a sort of venomous conversationstarter for a six-person Halloween banquet?

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Digital Editor ALLEGRA LETTS

Serum, £5 | Boots Summer left you with oily skin woes?

The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1% is perfect for those with slightly larger pores and acne prone skin. It’s super affordable, and only a couple of drops on your skin in the morning and evening is enough to keep that excess oil away!

Nine lives Nice arch. Every yoga fan’s dream?

£6

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Editor ORIN CARLIN

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997) | All4 Vampires, 90s fashion and some seriously questionable special FX makeup. Seriously, what's not to love?

If you're stuck in a rut with the usual Netflix trash - I'm looking at you, Emily in Paris (2020) - then this classic supernatural drama will hit the spot.

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rp llow e o c m e dé o een h m o Orin C arlin chooses some freaky h

editors' picks

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Furry friend Dilapidated student houses are full of creepy crawlies, so perhaps consider inviting in a minibeast who won’t turn your home into a health hazard zone?

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'Let the challenge...begin!'

Very reminiscent of CBBC’s namesake programme. If it was your childhood dream to complete ‘Way of the Warrior’, then this should clearly be your (very upmarket) ornament of choice.

Pumpkin power A stone cold classic.

A piece of cheap tat (no offence), seemingly specifically designed for the student dwelling. Classy.

On The Hi

Un Choco Loco A chocolate skull that reminds me of the veritable thrill that is Disney’s Coco (2017). Obviously a bit of an unnecessary splurge, maybe you can convince one of your more frivolous flatmates?

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Deputy Editor FREYA SCOTT-TURNER

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Makeup pads, £17.95 | Beauty Bay In my quest to become more of an eco-warrior, I’ve switched to reusable makeup remover pads. Using just water, they remove even the smokiest of eyes – a feat that more than makes up for the price.

Epigram / Freya Scott-Turner

m Epigra / Alice Pullin

Travel safely

Bristol SU has partnered with taxi firm V Cars to provide the 'Safe Car Scheme' for students in emergencies or dangerous situations you need to get out of, even if you have no cash at the time.

To use the scheme, call 01179 252 626, quote the ‘Bristol University Safe Car Scheme’ and provide the operator with your full name, email address and U-Card number. A taxi will be sent to your location as a matter of priority and will take you to the student residential address, halls of residence, police station or hospital that you require. Bristol SU will guarantee the payment for you and they’ll be in touch to arrange paying it back.

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Samantha Kilford shares her top tips for keeping safe this party season

Plan together, stay together

Try to stick with a group of friends on nights out, but if you do leave before them, make sure someone knows where you’re going, who you’re going with and arrange to check in with each other by text. It may be handy to ensure that your phone is fully charged before heading out or that you have a portable charger!

Similarly, stay alert. Unfortunately, spiking – the practice of adding drugs or substances to someone’s drink without their knowledge – can be rife in clubs and bars and can happen to both men and women. It’s done by criminals to commit crimes such as theft or sexual assault. Always keep your drink in your hand, never leave it unattended and avoid accepting drinks from strangers.

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Night out safety

lifestyle

Epigram

Epigram / Freya Scott-Turner

Look after one another

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If your friend has had one too many and can’t see straight, it’s important that they’re not left alone! That may mean sacrificing a few more hours of dancing to travel back with your drunken friend, holding their hair while they throw up lunchtime’s spaghetti into the toilet, but we’ve all been there and the alternative is far more dangerous. Also, do check up on them once you’ve put them to bed just in case and make sure they’re not sleeping on their back!

Remember that no means no

If you do happen to meet someone that you like out on the dancefloor and it looks like things might go further, remember that you can draw your own boundaries. Don’t feel pressured into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with and be firm. You are more than entitled to change your mind and there’s nothing to be ashamed of in saying no.

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gram / Orin Carlin

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What is your love language?

Freya Scott-Turner shows you what you appreciate most in a partner

In Brass Pig, you’re getting with the person who...

...buys you a drink.

Your coursemate knows you fancy them when you....

...send them all your seminar notes.

...your flatmate hasn’t washed up the tupperware that you lent them a week ago.

You become irrationally angry when...

...touch their arm every five minutes.

You know a date’s gone well when... ...you move onto another bar when the pub closes.

Bring you your favourite snacks from Co-op.

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...calls you a pengting on the dancefloor.

...someone disagrees with you in a seminar. ...you wake up at theirs.

What’s your greeting of choice?

You’re stressed about a deadline.

How can your S/O help?

Promise to take you out to celebrate when you’re finished.

‘Hey b! I see you looking fly today.’

A complicated bro handshake, ending in a hug.

Acts of Service In some cultures, they say ‘I love you’.

You say, ‘do you fancy a cup tea?’

And I think that’s beautiful. After all, nothing screams romance like a lift to Aldi.

Receiving Gifts As Madonna said, we are living in a material world and YOU are a material girl (or boy). Be it a Cartier watch or a packet of Jaffa Cakes, nothing raises your pulse like a gift out the blue.

Quality Time Forget the roses, you just want constant companionship and good bants. Someone who’ll watch telly with you AND accompany you to Costcutter for snacks in the ad break.

Physical Touch Penguins huddle, otters hold hands.

Physical touch is the love language of our ancestors. Just mind you don’t catch feels for the next person to high five you.

Words of Affirmation For you, a S/O should be your own personal cheerleader, always ready with a pep talk so inspiring it could bring about world peace. Dreamy.

Celebrity Crush: Marie Kondo

Celebrity Crush: Oprah Winfrey

Celebrity Crush: Graham Norton

Celebrity Crush: Elmo

Celebrity Crush: Lizzo