Free Pizza! 1
Free Pizza! By: Erin M. Adams
Mine!!! 2 Dorm Improvement 3 Roomies: Good and Bad 4 A
What are you interested in? The arts, community service, volunteering, sci-fi, feminist taxidermy? There are a wide variety of clubs and organizations on campus to suit one’s interest. Besides looking good on your resume or and offering experience in your Mesage from transcripts, intended field, these organizations can save you hundreds to thousands of dollars on food. the Cat The average cookie and hot chocolate is $5 at 4 Starbucks. But by simply pretending to be interested in minority literacy, you can get both for free, and a high five from Jesus! Welcome week is a veritable open season for free food. Many clubs offer free pizza, sandwiches, snacks or beverages, to entice people to care about what they’re doing. You could spend up to well over $20 a day on these, not including desert. Who wants to end hunger and malnutrition in Somalia? You do. On average for one person, food costs are $302 per month! Two to five free meals or snacks per week could drop this number to between $200 and $250. Not only will it look good on your resume or transcripts, not to mention high fives from Jesus, you will be healthy and full. Your life will be full too, with an abundance of friends, relationships, and contacts, and free food-lots and lots of free food.
Not only will it look good on your resume or transcripts, not to mention high fives from Jesus, you will be healthy and full. Your life will be full too, with an abundance of friends, relationships, contacts, and free food- lots and lots of free food.
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Mine!!! By: Erin M. Adams
Sharing space can be a pain, especially when it’s 2 a.m., you’ve already taken enough melatonin to kill a horse, and there’ still debauchery going on. Establishing rules and boundaries is necessary.
Empathetic listening is essential. Writers: Erin Adams Rachel Grigg The Cat Editor: Erin Adams Layout: Erin Adams Graphics: Rachel Grigg Photos: Erin Adams
Empathetic listening consists of not only hearing, but understanding what is being said. Really listen to their needs; when your roommate says, “I have a 10 page research paper to write and have to do a presentation along with it.” What is your room mate really saying? Would having an entire fraternity over for the week help? No, no, no, it would not!!! Determine main issues and potential problems, and conflicts. Reaching a win-win You: Jan, I heard that your boss is making you the compromise can be difficult, but it is well worth office over for a Lifetime movie marathon. it. A recent study from a university shows (What the hell do you think you’re doing!) that actually caring about the people who you Jan: I love my job. live with fosters an amicable and harmonious (I have a Liberal Arts environment. It really does, it really does, are Degree) you empathetically reading this or not? I know You: Well don’t. where you live! (I just got a new set of steak knives) If you accommodate your roommate’s Jan: But I might get fired! needs, they will be much more likely to (But I have a Liberal Arts Degree) accommodate yours, and vice versa. For example: You: You can sue them for discrimination. (The Equal Rights Amendment never passed)
By initially identifying the issues, and needs Jan: I’m a girl, of course! of both parties, resolving conflicts and disputes (And have a Liberal Arts Degree!) can be much easier and less painful. You: Exactly! Aren’t you’re seeing a new man, why By simply taking the first step of understanding doesn’t he come over instead? each other’s needs, wants, and expectations, (I ran out of Twinkies and sticks) bumps in the roommate road can be quickly and Jan: We have reached an amicable agreement! easily smoothed over. (I’m finally using that Liberal Arts degree!)
...when your roommate says, “I have a 10 page research paper to write and have to do a presentation along with it.” What is your room mate really saying? Would having an entire fraternity over for the week help?
No, no, no, it would not!!!
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Dorm Improvement
By: Erin Adams
Real actual furniture and real actual home decor can cost real actual money, something which you don’t have. There are several surprising solutions to this age old problem.
Furniture can serve multiple uses, shower curtains can become stylish aquatic themes curtains, depending on your bathroom arrangements. Ugly free posters can become graphic, avant garde table cloths. By simply throwing a large scrap of discount fabric over a mini fridge or microwave, you can make a stylish ottoman or end table. The possibilities are endless! Underutilized lounge furniture is abundant. Wait until your Resident Assistant is gone, and your neighbors know when to shut up, and just go take it. How much tuition are you paying? Exactly, it’s not like you’re asking for tenure. But remember to return it at the end of the year or semester. If you get caught mid pilfering, don’t forget to say that you knew it would look stupid in the hallway. This can save you thousands of dollars, especially if your RA or landlord is never around and doesn’t notice that it has been missing for several years.
How much tuition are you paying? Exactly. It’s not like you’re asking for tenure. Duct tape and boxes, how do you think early man built the pyramids? An abundance of boxes can be found in the dumpster, or from the delivery of your overpriced textbooks. You can use two refrigerator sized boxes and 4 microwave sized boxes, and the duct tape of your choice to make stylish bookshelves. Does your cat need steps to get up on your bed and suck out all of your warmth? If your cat is fat, you will need 4 microwave sized boxes, and also depending on height, 2 to 3 will do for most not fat cats. Simply duct tape them together and “ta da!” And if you give a cat steps, he’s going to want a lampshade! Use a Kleenex box, poke some holes in it and tape it to a lamp, and voila. There are some very beautiful, intricate Kleenex box designs, that may or may not be flammable. A set of silverware can cost over $20, save money by taking advantage of the dining hall and/or social functions. Pilfered plastic cutlery and place settings can be easily personalized. There are a wide variety of colors of sharpies. Duct tape can be used for multiple purposes around the home and can also be used to decorate your newly acquired home goods with careful handling and fine scissor work of course. Get your tax return? Go to the clearance section at the craft store, splurge on some decoupage or glue and dazzling plastic gems. No one will recognize your new home goods once you’ve thoroughly personalized them.
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Roomies: Good and Bad By: Rachel Grigg Have you ever wondered what would make the perfect roommate? No? Well, I have. I like living with someone. The rent is cheaper, and there is almost always someone around when I am not. I don’t like a silent apartment; it gives me too much time to space out on games without the distraction. I am not saying having a roomie is all good. The wrong roommate can be a living nightmare. My last roommate left with all my xbox360 games that had any value as well as my stashed cash. That roomie was a mistake from day one. Lesson number one: even if you have known the possible roomie for years, they may not always be a compatible roommate. Another roomie I had was perfect, cleaned up after himself, wasn’t a thief, and woke me up if he thought I was going to be late. I do not think I will ever find a roomie like him again. I like to hang out with people but not all the time, and a good roomie can respect that and not make the apartment a party crash place every day and night.
Lesson number one: even if you have known the possible roomie for years, they may not always be a compatible roommate. As of right now, I am roommate less and that isn’t so bad; however having two previous roomies-one good and one terrible taught me that background checks might be a good idea. At least as far as previous roommate inquiries. Having a compatible roomie can make the difference between a madhouse or sanctuary environment every time you go home. No one is perfect; you find that out quickly when you share half your space with someone. Knowing who you are living with before you live with them will go a long way to prevent nightmare roommates from invading your space. delicous hot dog that you were planning to to eat, and the cheese, sausage, and pepperoni on that pizza? I am saving you a heart attack! Scientists also say that having a furry friend to pet and serve reduces stress by 15%: see? Not only am I saving you from a heart attack, but a nervous breakdown as well. I know that we’re not best buds, your Allegra is behind the toilet, but I think that we can develop a healthy, and to you, a symbiotic,
A Message From the Cat By: The Cat Hi, it’s me, the cat: the talking, literate cat. I know that I can be a nuisance and that you have allergies. But you heeded the call of my servant, and chose me as your lord and master. I know that I’m one of those annoying, friendly, dogs, and that I like hiding your Allegra. But you save so much money by having a roommate to till my litter box with. I also save you a gym membership. The calories in that
harmonious relationship. The toilet overflowed.
Your Benevolent Master, The Cat
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