WORDS BY Lara Christensen @laragchristensen ART BY Gabrielle Poh @gee.poh
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Which Cut Is the Deepest? My first heartbreak was with a boy who felt he couldn’t be my friend anymore. We’d been friends since middle school, often waiting together as we were usually the last ones to be picked up from school. We talked about everything, talked during everything and were childishly proud that our Snapchat streak was so long. Ultimately, we found ourselves in the cliché but agonising situation of realising that we weren’t on the same page with our feelings. I was accused of friend-zoning him, of being naive and stupid for not realising that there was something more to our relationship. And I felt naive and stupid. He was left feeling hurt — another victim to the archaic tragedy that is unrequited love. Even if I had realised earlier that our intentions were different, would I have had the courage to act differently? I was so desperate to save the friendship that I might have put up with it all, if only so that I could pretend that things were back to how they were. To be honest, he did (and maybe does — is there a statute of limitations on this?) deserve sympathy. I did friend-zone him and, though unintentionally, I did hurt his feelings. Maybe he thought all along that our situation would change. That all he had to do was play ‘Mr. Nice Guy’, and I would have a change of heart. Issue 02/2021: Growing Pains