Esperanto Magazine is published by MONSU Caufield Inc. Views expressed within do not necessarily reflect those of MONSU Caufield Inc, the editorial panel, the publisher, or any other person associated with Esperanto.
Anonymous, Dayna Lim, Dora Chung, Emily Lederman, Evelyn Johnson, Gina Day, Janae Hunter, Jennifer Chen, Jennifer Hoang, Jess Heng, Jess Whelan, Luca MacIssac, Nikole Bradbury, Sama Harris
Photographer — Emily Lederman (@h3lloem1ly)
Model — Clara Yuen (@computerbaby)
Editor’s Note
First I will run my hands slowly down your spine and across your smooth and delicate back. I want to flip you over and spread you open straight away and dive right in — but I can’t — I should take it all in first and admire you. I caress my fingers along each border and corner until finally I slip one in under the cover. I want to explore all of your dirty secrets, turning over pages one by one to unveil all you have to offer me. Take me to another dimension, make me lose my breath, make my heart pound out of my chest. It’s all on the table with us now, I’m yours, I have to have you.
I want all of you, my sexy little Esperanto.
Love in the Time of Laundry
Words: Natalia Godinez IG: @natti.gi
Art: Steph Bridges IG: @stephaniemaree22
It was a typical Monday afternoon. I was in the communal laundry room, tackling the mountain of clothes that had piled up over the past week. The communal dryers were humming along, and I was folding my clothes when, like a scene out of a rom-com, the guy I had a massive crush on walked in.
My heart did a little flip-flop as he strolled over, flashing that grin that always made my knees wobbly.
“Hey there,” he said casually, opening one of the dryers next to me. “Ugh, laundry day, right?”
I faked a laugh, trying to act chill while my mind raced. “Yeah, just trying to get it all done before I start dying with assessments.”
We started chatting about classes, the latest gossip from around res and our dislike for group projects. But my mind was only half on the conversation because, in the back of my head, I remembered that I had just washed my lacy black thong and bra.
Did I want him to know I was wearing this for someone else? What would he think of me? It’s probably better if he didn’t think anything at all.
Like I was on a mission to save the world, I hastily began pulling my clothes out of the dryer, one garment at a time. I thought I was in the clear, heroically avoiding
potential embarrassment, until I heard his voice cut through my wishful thoughts.
“Oh, you dropped something.” he said, and as the unbothered gentleman he is, he had bent down to pick it up.
I looked down, and my stomach dropped. There, lying on the floor between us, was another item I should’ve remembered to hide: my old, reliable, comfy granny underwear.
In five slow-motion seconds, I watched his face transition from a helpful smile to wide-eyed realisation as he registered what he was holding.
I snatched it from him before both of our faces turned into the same shade of pink as my underwear. We both stood there awkwardly pretending the last few seconds hadn’t happened.
I was desperately searching for a way to salvage the situation when, to his credit, he smoothly revived the conversation by asking about my plans for the weekend. As I finished gathering my clothes and walked back to my room, laundry basket in hand, I couldn’t help but chuckle at how the day had turned out.
To this day, I wonder if he ever thinks of me and my reliable undies. Crushes may come and go, but granny undies? They are forever.
Sex Scenes 101
Collage: Nikole Bradbury
IG: @nikoledesigns_
Words: Lizzie Tooth
IG: @lizzie_tooth
It can get a little awkward when you are watching a movie with your family, and the characters start having sex. But don’t fret, your parents aren’t watching right now! It’s time to sit back, grab your popcorn and enjoy the following steamy scenes as they were intended.
‘Dirty Dancing’ (1987) – Dancing (but naked)
The characters, Baby (Frances Houseman) and Johnny (Patrick Swayze), share an intimate, yet heated, battle of emotions, before getting up to ‘slow dance’ with one another. Johnny is already half naked, but while they dance he slowly undresses Baby. While doing so, they stare at each other like they’re already having sex and dance like it too. So although the actual sex part of this scene isn’t very steamy, the dancing foreplay well and truly put the dirty into dancing.
Steaminess Rating: 3/5
‘Call Me By Your Name’ (2017) – Not the Peach Scene
Elio, played by Timothée Chalamet, is like a puppy dog, falling all over Oliver (Armie Hammer), madly snuggling into his shoulder. The playful banter between the two, leads to a heated kiss, before they lustfully, albeit somewhat awkwardly, tear off each other's clothes. Between their exhilarating sex, we get to hear them share intimate pillow talk, where we hear the iconic “call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine”. The chemistry and desire drips off the screen, leaving viewers calling out for more.
Steaminess Rating: 3.5/5
‘Black Swan’ (2010) – Hallucinatory Sex Scene
After an intense night out clubbing, Nina (Natalie Portman) and Lily (Mila Kunis), share what Lily later describes as a ‘lezzy wet dream’. The scene is already hot given the two actresses involved. But when you see Lily going down on Nina after desperately undressing and the two passionately eating each other's face-off, the hotness increases tenfold. This is also the first time we see Natalie's character completely let go and give in to herself resulting in one of the most powerful orgasms I’ve witnessed on screen.
Steaminess Rating: 4/5
‘365 Days’ (2020) – The Boat Sequence
This sex scene is practically porn but trust me when I say I’m not complaining. After what is a bit of a problematic storyline the two main characters, Massimo (Michele Morrone) and Laura (Anna-Maria Sieklucka), who had been ‘resisting’ each other until this moment, go at it. Against the backdrop of ‘I See Red’ by Everyone Loves an Outlaw, the characters engage in what can only be described as aggressive, yet passionate, intercourse on nearly every surface of the boat. Safe to say it was slippery on deck afterwards…
Steaminess Rating: 5/5
Espy Asks: A Sexologist
Sexologist: Chantelle Otten
IG: @chantelle_otten_sexologist
Words: Espy Team
Chantelle Otten is the sex therapist of sex therapists. Based here in Melbourne but globally renowned, Chantelle’s passion is to help people feel free and confident in their sensual selves. She is an award-winning sexologist, a published author and a Sexual Health and Wellness ambassador for Lovehoney and Bumble. Chantelle is all about making sex ed sexy through her practice as a sex therapist, short explainers on Instagram, her podcast ‘Give Me A Buzz’ and much more.
For this year’s Sex Edition, Chantelle teamed up with us here at Espy and answered all your burning questions. Here are some of the things she told us:
Do you have any tips for going down on someone with a vulva?
C.O — When going down on a vulva owner, focus on communication and responsiveness to their needs. Start slowly and build up intensity based on their reactions. Use a combination of tongue movements and gentle suction, paying attention to the clitoris as well as other sensitive areas. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback or listen to their cues to understand what feels best for them. Consistency and patience are key — take your time to ensure they feel relaxed and fully enjoy the experience.
What is ‘aftercare’, and why is it important?
C.O — Aftercare refers to the period of care and attention given to each other after sexual activity, particularly following more intense or BDSM experiences. It involves comforting and nurturing behaviours like cuddling, gentle conversation, or providing water and snacks.
Aftercare is important because it helps partners reconnect, process the experience, and ensure both feel safe and valued. It’s a way to foster emotional intimacy and support each other's well-being.
How do you deal with anxiety over if you will orgasm?
C.O — Dealing with anxiety about orgasming involves shifting your focus from performance to pleasure. Embrace the journey rather than fixating on the outcome. Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and reassure yourself that it’s okay not to orgasm every time.
Practising mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help reduce stress and enhance your sexual experience. Remember, sex is about connection and enjoyment, not just reaching a climax.
What are some things you can do to ‘wake up’ your libido after it’s been low?
C.O — To ‘wake up’ your libido after it’s been low, start by addressing any underlying stress, relational, personal or health issues that might be affecting your desire. Focus on self-care activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, adequate sleep, and a balanced diet. Reconnect with your body through mindfulness or sensual touch without the pressure of immediate sex. Communication with your partner about your needs and taking things slowly can also help reignite your sexual desire.
How do you communicate your needs and boundaries in bed with someone you may not know intimately yet?
C.O — Communicating your needs and boundaries in bed with someone you don't know intimately yet is crucial for a positive experience.
Start with open and honest conversations about your preferences and limits before things get heated. For example, you could say, "I really enjoy slow, gentle touches and lots of kissing. I'm not comfortable with anything too rough, and I prefer to avoid certain positions."
C.O — Use clear and direct language to express what you enjoy and what you’re uncomfortable with. Listening is just as important — encourage your partner to share their needs and boundaries too by asking, "What do you enjoy most, and is there anything you're not comfortable with?" Establishing mutual respect and consent ensures a safe and enjoyable encounter for both of you.
What are your best quick tips for increasing female pleasure?
C.O — Increasing vulva owner pleasure can be achieved through several key practices.
Prioritise foreplay to build arousal and ensure adequate lubrication; remember that foreplay can start long before you’re in bed, even as early as the last sex session ends. Sending hot text messages and flirting throughout the day can keep the anticipation building and let your partner know you're thinking of them.
Once you're together, focus on stimulating the clitoris, as it has a high concentration of nerve endings. Experiment with different positions and techniques to find what feels best. Communicate openly with your partner about what you enjoy and guide them as needed. Using toys or incorporating sensual massages can also enhance pleasure.
What can I do if my partner can’t ’make’ me orgasm?
C.O — If your partner can’t ‘make’ you orgasm, remember that orgasm is a collaborative effort and not solely their responsibility. Communicate openly about what feels good and guide them with feedback. Consider exploring solo play to understand your body better and discover what helps you reach climax. Incorporate these insights into your shared experiences. Focus on enjoying the journey and the intimacy you share, rather than solely on the goal of orgasm.
We had someone ask if you can get STIs from blowjobs, what should people know about STIs and how they can protect themselves?
C.O — Yes, you can get STIs from blowjobs. Oral sex can transmit infections like herpes, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, and HPV. To protect yourself, use barriers such as condoms or dental dams during oral sex, not just penetrative sex. Regular STI testing and open communication with your partner about sexual health are also crucial. Practising good hygiene and avoiding oral sex if you have any cuts or sores in your mouth can help reduce the risk of transmission.
Do you have any tips for feeling confident when giving a blow job?
C.O — Feeling confident when giving a blowjob starts with communication and comfort. Talk to your partner about what they enjoy and ask for feedback to ensure you’re on the right track. Focus on what makes you feel good about the experience, whether it’s their reactions or your own enjoyment. Practising different techniques can boost your confidence — experiment with speed, pressure, and movements to find what works best for both of you. Remember, confidence comes from knowing that you’re both having a good time.
Chantelle says prioritise foreplay!
Even How I Know You Now
IG: @artbyjanaehunter
Words & Art: Janae Hunter
It’s nice to know you don’t turn off the light, or how warm your skin keeps me in the cold night.
There's things I oversaw in the heat of first times, Now they’re special, and warmer and I see them go by.
I know what I like and I know what comes first, The prologue is much better when you’re taking off my shirt.
It took me a while to learn to break down my walls, it took guts, it took risk, but now I know where I fall.
The glance of desire, you know I’m still learning to achieve, what’s now keeps on delving into everything I need.
New tricks, new treats, new places to find, a destination once found, is one you can call ‘mine’.
Talking through the sheets, trust me never gets old, I already know what to do, but I like to be told...
I know a lot more now than I knew well before, but even now sometimes I feel I'm not sure.
Once, then again, few more times, then I’m ready, like a tightrope with you, there’s times I fall, times I’m steady.
And as we enter the well known pretty ninth cloud, where the grip has me present, in the here in the now.
You never fail to remind me just how good you make me feel, touch never ceases to surprise me to let me know that it's real.
First meeting you I hadn’t known just what I know now, like the fun name callings or the sweat you get from on your brow, Been here long enough to know that my feelings here are settled you set me off like an alarm, I’m as hot as a kettle.
And everytime the alarm is loud, and everytime the kettle is hot, and everytime will never change, even how I know you now.
Talk Directly to Me
Words: Ash Dowling
IG: @ashleighdowling
Illustration:
Jennifer Chen
IG: @slorpentorpentine
As a law student, I’ve gotten pretty intimate with the affirmative consent laws that came into effect in Victoria in July last year. They require a person to actively take steps, through words or actions, to obtain the affirmative consent of the other person, which means willingness and permission, rather than a mere lack of protestation.
Sorry — talking about law reform is probably a turn-off, but asking your sexual partner for consent shouldn’t have the same effect.
So, let’s explore some phrases that can facilitate positive consent without subverting the positive hormones.
“Does that sound good?”
Remember, consent can be withdrawn at any point, so it requires ongoing communication.
“Are you still enjoying this?”
And consent for one sexual act is not consent for another.
“Are you okay if we go here now?”
YES, consent is relevant for any sexual act or experience — even kissing (sorry Prince Phillip from ‘Sleeping Beauty’). It is relevant for both one-night stands and within marriages. I might take this opportunity to share that I am personally in a long-term relationship where we haven’t had sex yet, for reasons related to our faith, and I have seen that there is just as much need for consent in our circumstances, with regard to other sexual interactions.
As we’ve figured out our boundaries, consent has evolved throughout the course of our relationship, requiring regular check-ins. In the same way, preferences change (I mean, as a child, I didn’t like Tim Tams?!), so even if you feel like you know your partner inside out, keep the communication lines wide open.
Without any further playing around, let’s get stuck into some handy phrases — drawn both from my own personal experience (noting that I have exposed myself above as having somewhat limited experience) as well as from a big, long internet deep-dive.
Being a writer, I do love to describe things: “Do you like it when I [insert]?”
And as a Type A personality, I am always striving to improve: “Could I make you feel any better right now?”
Maybe you are more of a kinaesthetic learner: “Can you show me what you want me to do to you right now?”
Boom — you can learn a new skill and consent is inherent. Maybe you want to try a compliment-consent sandwich: “I love when you [insert]. Do you enjoy that being done to you?”
Or if you want something spicier than a sandwich: “Describe your fantasy to me.”
My fantasy: a world where everyone honours one another’s boundaries and ensures to always act with rock-solid consent.
I wanted to finish by saying that maybe there will be a time that asking for consent does break the flow. But it is always better to push through some awkwardness rather than one party feeling uncomfortable or unsafe. The feeling of awkwardness is fleeting but feeling disrespected or violated can have lasting impacts on a person. So never regret asking, just try to slip it in more smoothly next time.
Words & Art: Anonymous
The Perfect Vanilla Sex
Rating: ★★★★★
Prep: 3 mins – 20 mins
Cook: 30 mins
Serves: As many as you like
Written and tested by Anonymous
Vanilla sex gets a bad wrap. Is it slow? Yes. Can it be a little repetitive? Maybe. Is it boring? Absolutely not. Vanilla might not be your cup of tea, but it’s definitely mine. There is nothing better than feeling loved and being caressed like a delicacy by your partner. So here is my recipe for decadent, craving-satisfying vanilla sex that can be enjoyed in the bedroom, sprawled across the living room rug, on the kitchen counter or anywhere else you might fancy a little something sweet.
Ingredients
• 1 cup missionary
• 3 tbsp cowgirl
• A pinch of lip biting
• 2 cups sweet nothings
• 4 heaping tbsp soft kisses
• ¾ cup gentle touches
• 3 tsp moans and sighs
• Lube (optional, add as necessary)
Method
For this, we tend to start off with soft kisses.
Sometimes when my boyfriend and I are lying in bed, long after our bedtime, we end up facing each other in the dark and finding each other's lips. It starts off gentle, before turning into long, deep kisses. We hold each other close and brush our hands against each other’s skin. He flips me over onto my back, slips off my shirt and continues those kisses down my neck, chest, stomach and inner thighs.
This is where you might want to add some lube, if you need it. Next comes the missionary position. His body on top of mine feels warm and strong. I am engulfed. I am a pillow princess taking my rightful throne, as his big arms wrap around. He breathes heavily and I start to feel the tiniest bit of sweat coat his back as I hold on tight.
My brief reign ends after I’m ~satisfied~ (a few times actually) and we switch to cowgirl. He moans and sighs as I change angles and rhythm, while he moves his hands down the sides of my body as if I’m something delicate. Soft breath and sweet nothings fill this time, as we tell each other how good this feels and how much we love each other.
Finally, after we’ve had our fun, I pull out all the stops to ice the cake: Bringing him to climax. Then we lie back, have a little cuddle (because aftercare is important) and go to sleep.
Porn Supremacy: The Female POV
Words: Dayna Lim IG: @eggsna
I ventured into watching porn some time shy of 18-years-old, and like many others, I started on Tumblr. A platform that marks a bygone era and that will be missed by many. On Tumblr, my primary viewing platform, most of the content I encountered was cis and hetero-centric. While this did not bother me as much back then, I look back in hindsight with a lot more potential concerns regarding my personal curation of pornography. I had not encountered the concept of ethical porn back then.
Distinguishing between ethical and unethical porn, as binary as the categories may be, did not become relevant to me until later down the road. My first touchpoint with ethical porn was Googling ‘ethical porn’, perhaps after encountering the term somewhere on social media.
Defining ethical porn is helpful. A succinct and relatively holistic definition would be its emphasis on enthusiastic consent and valuing viewpoints beyond the male gaze in both angling and plotlines. It emphasises non-male perspectives in creating porn and decentralises the male gaze, as opposed to those orange and black branded companies in the industry (Pornhub, we are looking at you).
Out of the varied ethical porn sites, Bellesa was the one that I chose to delve into, and it’s been this way for a couple of years now.
Bellesa’s unique selling point involves accessibility, with more favourable paid tier rates, compared to other sites. They also provide a wide range of genres that are easily searchable. Sure, there’s no shortage of the usual categories but I particularly appreciate their in-house productions of Bellesa House and Bellesa Blind Date. These stand apart from their other offerings
Illustration: Jennifer Hoang IG: @jenniferhoangs
for the candidness behind most of the videos, whereby performers don’t follow a set script, and are encouraged to simply enjoy each other’s company. They also offer a selection of erotica, which I found helpful in diversifying what I chose to explore. There is respectful representation of diverse ethnicities, rather than sensationalising or playing upon fetishes. One downside would be not featuring performers’ preferred pronouns or more diverse body types.
While Bellesa is relatively mainstream, other sites that entered the industry even earlier than 2017 when Bellesa came on the scene. Lust Cinema (2010) is directed and owned by Erika Lust, a visionary of ethical porn in a commercial sense. The site has feature-film length videos with more realistic plotlines, and could appeal to the cinephiles within the consumer base. For more candid portrayals of sex and pleasure, there are plenty of sites that specialise in submissions from non-performer partners to even one focusing on women and gender-diverse people engaging in masturbation. While the barriers to access involve paying for a subscription, there’s a site for everyone depending on what they’re able to afford or are drawn towards. The wide range of options available falling under the category of ethical porn empowers us to explore whatever is of interest to us, especially if we are unsure. We can also find niche corners of the Internet with people who get their freak on the same way we like to… the possibilities are truly endless.
The fact that ethical porn is gaining more traction reflects a welcome change in awareness amongst audiences that consent in porn is sexy. This evolution means we get to explore sensuality and pleasure through our consumption in a healthy way.
Femfresh, No Thanks!
Art: Luca MacIssac IG: @lumacstudio
Words: Ash Dowling IG: @ashleighdowling
There is no shortage of products on the market that claim to be the key to a happy and healthy cooch. The feminine hygiene industry (distinct from the menstrual product industry) has attracted a lot of success from capitalising on long-standing insecurities around natural female functions.
But it’s time to stand up to the industry and debunk some of the tools that are at best, unnecessary, and at worst, harmful to our sexual health.
First, it is important to distinguish between the vagina and the vulva, both of which are targeted by the feminine hygiene industry. The vagina is the internal tract of muscle that spans the cervix to the vaginal opening. The vulva is the external part of the tract and includes the inner and outer labia as well as the external part of the clitoris.
The vagina and vulva are different beasts and have different needs — though probably not nearly as many needs as the feminine hygiene industry wants you to think.
Douching
‘Douche’ is French for ‘shower’— but don’t be charmed by the pretty French word. Vaginal douching, which involves flushing the vagina with water or cleansers, often using a specially designed tool, can be quite ‘le désastre’. Douching can disrupt the usual balance of bacteria in the vagina, making it more susceptible to infections and increasing the risk of cervical cancer and pelvic inflammatory disease. Douching is also associated with issues during pregnancy. Despite this, the practice was widely promoted in the past in publications and advertisements, and is now often handed down generationally from mothers to daughters. This is one feminine cycle that we need to stop.
Note that anal douching, which is the act of flushing out the rectum, can be safe if done properly. There are a few tools, but the safest is probably the fleet enema (choose
the one with the normal saline in it). Make sure to follow the preparation instructions on the package for the right volume. Keep in mind anal douching is certainly not a necessity prior to anal sex; your rectum is designed to keep poop up high and away from the action, until it is time for a bowel movement.
Feminine wipes
I love wipes — I always bring them with me to wipe down grotty surfaces, my grotty face, my grotty hands, or for an elevated nose-blowing experience. Their moistened, scented, and anti-bacterial qualities set them apart from tissues.
But when it comes to wiping our genitals, old-fashioned toilet paper is the way to go. Feminine wipes contain various chemicals, some of which are associated with cancer, hormone disruption, or rashes. Other chemicals have hardly been studied enough to trust that they are safe.
If you feel like some moisture is needed, you could moisten toilet paper in the sink or bring a small spray water bottle with you when you go out. Or you can even use lube — regardless of whether you have coital plans to follow.
Powders
Powders have long been promoted as a way to protect against vaginal odours and absorb excess moisture. It is now quite well-known that using talcum-based powders increases the risk of cancer, so cornstarch typically replaces talcum in powder products. But is talc-free synonymous with risk-free?
Presently, there is no research to show that cornstarch-based powders are carcinogenic. However, it is established that inhaling cornstarch powder can irritate the lungs, representing a respiratory risk. Furthermore, powder is an allergen for some, causing irritation to the sensitive skin of the vulva. Regardless, the idea that powder is needed for intimate comfort and freshness is a myth, which was particularly pushed by Johnson & Johnson in the 1970s to expand the market for their Baby Powder.
Deodorants
As a pre-teen, I was self-conscious about the prospect of emitting any unpleasant bodily smells, to the extent that I would apply deodorant to my knee pits as well as to my armpits. If I had been exposed to any intimate deodorant advertising in my youth, I am sure I would have jumped onto that bandwagon.
But, now, I am aware that they can have physical side effects, including rashes and urinary tract infections, and am confident that they are not necessary (I’ve also stopped deodorising my knee pits, in case you were wondering).
It is normal for the vagina to have a musky scent. We shouldn’t feel the need to mask this; in the words of Jennifer Lincoln, an obstetrician and gynaecologist based in Portland, “vaginas are supposed to smell like vaginas”. If you are detecting a stronger odour, this might be a result of not changing your underwear frequently enough or wearing a panty liner. If the odour is smelling fishy — in the literal sense — this is a signal to seek medical help.
But if you do want to use a deodorant, be sure to use one that is unscented and solid. Only apply it to the outside part of the vulva, avoiding the inner lips or the vagina.
So, what should you be doing?
It’s been said that the vagina is a ‘self-cleaning oven’. The vagina naturally produces discharge which keeps it healthy, without you having to do any (conscious) work at all.
When it comes to the vulva a safe practice is to clean the skin with mild, non-fragranced, soap-free washes, to remove any sweat, menstrual blood etc. However, this should not be done more than once per day to avoid irritation.
Make sure to change your underwear at least once daily, but preferably twice especially if you are quite active. Always pee after having sex, and wipe from front to back. If you choose to remove some or all of your pubic hair, have a designated vulva-only razor and keep this stored in a dry place in between uses rather than in the shower where it could grow rust or mould.
My final recommendation: if you do have any concerns about the appearance, smell or feel of your vulva, you should go to your doctor before going down an internet rabbit hole. Because that is a hole that isn’t self-cleaning…
Note: This article aims to inform, and isn't designed to provide medical advice. Consult your GP if you have concerns about you sexual health.
Who Was Your Sexual Awakening?
Words: Esperanto Team
They say you always remember your first love, and the memory of that infatuation stays with you forever. Well what can I say? They were right… I have been thinking about you ever since. Even before I knew what sex was, or what it meant to truly be in love, there was you.
You made my heart skip a beat, you made my eyes sparkle as I stared longingly into the screen, you made my blood run hot, you made me tingly all over with excitement in a whole new way. I dreamt about you in the wholesome ways that only a child could and I fantasised about the little cartoon world where we were in love. When I got a bit older, those fantasies evolved to be a little less PG in what can only be described as a sexual awakening. You made me feel things that I'd never felt before in places that I’d never thought of before. I was longing for you completely.
It is always hard to want someone that you can’t have. We may be separated by fiction and truth, by reality and screens, by species in some cases…
But I will never stop crushing on you.
Heartbreak Highs & Lows
Words & Art: Anonymous
Much like the sexually active teens from Netflix’s reboot of ‘Heartbreak High’, I too have made some interesting willy-nilly choices in my youth. In hindsight, these horny choices might seem regrettable, but now I have some entertaining stories to tell. So, I guess there are positives to everything!
Bush Banging
Let me set the scene. I am at a close friend’s 18th birthday held on their family’s farm. We all had tents pitched across the field where we would eventually go to bed. As the party progressed, this guy, let's call him Farmer, and I started flirting. When things start getting heated we head over to the campsite. Farmer’s friend was already asleep in their tent so, like the logical teens we were, we determined that the next best option was in the very open field right next to the campsite. As Farmer ‘ploughed my field’ the voices of other partygoers heading to bed drifted past. To top it all off, I was helping my friend move across the state the next day and upon arrival, I found excessive amounts of grass tangled in my hair.
Dirty Dancing
Following some hot and heavy moves on the crowded club floor, my dance partner and I wanted to head somewhere more private. Our choice? The men’s toilet. Amidst the sounds of drunk patrons commenting on our very public (toilet) display of affection filtering through the cubicle door, I realised I didn't even know his name. However, it was clear he was a fantastic dancer, both on and off the dance floor. So much so that after getting a drink together (where I learnt his name) we attempted to return to the same cubicle for more. Unfortunately for us though, our friends intercepted us, so extra dirty dancing was limited to the designated, much more public and illuminated club floor.
State
After yet another late-night dancing, I decided to head back with a guy I had been chatting up for a while. We’ll call him Stache, cause of his wicked moustache. Before we could do the deed we had to walk his friend, codename Pimp, home. During said trek, we stopped at the State Library of Victoria, where Pimp deemed it the greatest time to show us his two favourite pornos. That wasn’t enough to deter me though because we ended up back at Pimp’s place where he proceeded to show us porn he filmed of himself prior. Obviously, at that point, I was questioning some of my life choices. I still ended up getting with Stache though, it just wasn’t till 7 am.
Evidently, past me had a huge ‘do it for the plot’ mindset and whilst these moments may not have been my finest, they certainly led to some great stories. So, if the producers of ‘Heartbreak High’ are on the lookout for some new talent or inspiration, I’m your gal!
Porno Victoria
Slow is Sexy
& Artwork: Anonymous
Photoshoot
My Neurodivergence Loves Sex
Words: Anonymous Art: Gina Day IG: @gkhdesign_
“It’s a superpower”, they say.
“No it’s not,” some of us reply.
At the current stage in my journey, I would argue on the side of both. It’s simultaneously a disability… and a superpower.
I could recount the endless lows of my time blindness. I don’t think I’ve caught a train on time since the start of the year. Month long projects get crammed into a mere two sleepless, sunlight deprived days.
It’s almost comical the way I’m repeatedly surprised when my disability actually disables me. How dare that adorable manic-pixie-dream-girl spark debilitate my executive functioning?!
But sometimes, just sometimes, I get to revel in the traits that make a moment, an urge, a sensation, all-encompassing.
Sex is one such moment. Sex is the kind of stimulus my neurodivergence loves. An indulgence where I’m given permission to flip the switch, to detach from my sticky, incoherent, tangled web of thoughts.
ADHD is often driven by sensation seeking and is prone to hypersensitivity, both physically and emotionally. This can lead to overwhelm in uncontrolled environments, but in the privacy of a bedroom, it can become a playground for the senses.
During sex, focusing on nothing but the texture, the temperature, the feeling of each centimetre of skin passing under my fingers at a time turns my hyper-fixation into
a strength. Time blindness is merely absorption in the present. It enables me, in comfortable circumstances, to give in almost completely to my body.
In everyday executive functioning where my priorities are disproportionately skewed by dopamine, my gut isn’t something I can rely on. The constant grasp at new stimuli is difficult to balance and leads to a juggling act of commitments crammed into every seven day cycle. Logistical juggling has never been a strength of mine, but if fumbling was a talent I’d have the Olympic Gold! Yet, when the number one priority of an experience is what feels the most pleasurable, there is nothing more useful than a dopamine addicted instinct.
The pull towards new experiences exercises the boundaries of my comfort zone like a rubber band, keeping it always warm and limber. If I trust my partner, there’s almost nothing I won’t try once. So, I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for the many sensations and dynamics that would otherwise have remained undiscovered.
The release of being tied up and (willingly) forced to focus on my pleasure alone, the shared and freeing joy of polyamory, the comfort of binding down another to explore and give to them inch by inch without interruption. I’m grateful for the adventurous and sensual pleasures it has opened my world up to, and for all the ones I am yet to discover.
Sex and its dedication to pleasure creates a space where my ADHD can thrive. A place where I realise my ‘diverse’ brain structure can hold a dual presence in my life. It marks my ultimate character flaws, and it enables sensation to a depth that only keeps expanding.
The Intimate Moments
Words: Ilana Cohen IG: @purpleishis1
Illustration: Dora Chung IG: @dora_and_design
It has been one hell of a year. Without getting too Carrie Bradshaw on you, I’ll tell you how my sex life was impacted, and how my partner and I were brought closer together because of it.
A lot of things can impact one’s sex life. Grief being one of them. I recently lost someone close to me, someone I spent a lot of time with and who welcomed me into their life amidst a terminal diagnosis. To add to the heartbreak, she was my partner’s sister. He experienced a loss and pain I can't even imagine. Because of that, my relationship felt stagnant at times, and at others, couldn’t have been more enthralling.
I should preface this by saying, I consider myself and my partner as having a healthy and exciting relationship with sex. But what about in times of grief, when the last thing in the world you want to do is get hot and heavy? Yeah, maybe a kiss and a cuddle, but so PG that even a toddler wouldn’t point.
In the absence of sex, I have found that emotional intimacy comes in many forms. Building on the connection we have has helped me feel safe and comfortable around him and has taught me the ways he wants to be supported.
One night, just before going to bed, I forced my partner to see my super serious journalistic side and we sleepily talked about the ways we build our emotional intimacy. Here are some of the things we came up with that keep our flame alive without sex.
36 Questions to Fall in Love
Early on in our relationship, I asked my partner if we could do an activity, and with no details he agreed. What followed was an emotional and vulnerable conversation about love, ourselves, our fears and so much more. It opened up the space and set the tone for how we would build our relationship together. We used a questionnaire from ‘The New York Times’ called “36 Questions to Fall in Love”, but just Google it and any list will do.
Doing the Crossword and Other Brain Games
On the theme of the ‘NYT’, we started solving crossword puzzles together quite frequently. I’m obsessed with
them, and you’d think doing them literally everyday would make me better. Alas it has not. We bought the ‘NYT’s “Simple Easy Crossword Puzzles” and continue to face mockery from that book all the time. This activity lets us share the knowledge we have and allows me to explain some of the clues that only make sense from my American point of view.
Reading Out Loud to Each Other
I hadn’t realised this when we started dating, but my partner has never read one of my favourite book series. So now, we take turns reading a chapter aloud to each other — Sometimes in a hammock on a picnic, sometimes on the grass by a river, sometimes in bed before lights out. If you love the sound of your S.O’s voice, this is a FANTASTIC thing to do together. The sultry, understated, Australian accent he reads in makes me want to hire him as an audiobook narrator.
Talking About the Future
You know that TikTok of the girl saying “I’d love to go with the flow, but what time does the flow start?”? Yeah, that’s me. So planning for the future, our future, is a no-brainer to me. We fantasise about taking trips together and buying a home together. One time I literally pulled him aside at a festival and showed him my Pinterest board and we talked about what we both like and want in our forever home. We’re always sharing ideas of what we think would make a home homely. I can learn more about his passion for engineering and sustainability and he can learn about my desire for a home akin to Otis’ in ‘Sex Education’.
Exploring Each Other’s Interests
I’m outdoorsy, but mostly when it comes to keeping both my feet on the ground. So when I met my partner I quickly realised that not only was biking in my future, bike-packing was too. We’ve done little teaserbikepacking expeditions — a day here and there — but I’m still training for the big one. In turn, he’s dabbled in my myriad of crafting hobbies, including painting and DIY-ing all my furniture.
There are so many more ways we express intimacy outside of the bedroom, and with each one we continue to strengthen our relationship.
Sexy Fireman Pants
Words: Angel Tully
IG: @angel.tully
Illustration: Jess Heng
IG: @designby.jh
I’m not looking for a man in finance with a trust fund who’s 6’5 with blue eyes — sue me.
I know some people may argue that there’s nothing sexier than a corporate slave who dresses himself with Daddy’s money, but I’ve got my eyes on a different prize.
As a business student myself, I don’t need help understanding big words like “taxes”, “GDP”, or “inflation”. And I’d rather not be dating someone who feels the need to mansplain those things to me (I’m talking to you, finance bros). But what I do want help with is something of a completely different ballgame.
I want someone who can help me build my apartment furniture and install fancy rainbow smart lights in my living room. Or who has all the power tools in the world and isn’t afraid to use them; someone that can get it going with a chainsaw and deliver me some good wood to get my fire going. There’s just something so hot about a man who can fix things, build things and lift things — especially when you get to watch them flex their sweaty muscles while they do it. That very hands-on someone, you might have guessed, is often seen sporting some hi-vis, FXD work pants and some steel-capped boots.
I’m talking about tradies. Or perhaps not all tradies, but my tradie.
He comes home sporting the classic tradie uniform, with those classic FXD pants. I’ve come to affectionately refer to these as ‘sexy fireman pants’, even though he is in fact, an electrician. A sparky if you will… and boy,
does he light a spark in me. Something about the pants and no shirt combo when he’s getting dressed is very Magic Mike-esque, it’s very fireman-on-a-calendar vibes in my humble opinion. They sit at the perfect height on the waist to tease a bit of that stomach V, and they’re the perfect amount dirty and beaten up that they scream tough and sexy.
Now of course I would never date someone because of their profession, and it is certainly not the reason we are together now. The truth is, it was only once we started dating that I began to realise, and make use of, all the perks of being a tradie’s girlfriend. All that is to say, he’s pretty nice to look at, with or without his work clothes on, and I’m officially a sucker for a steel-capped boot.
I mean, who can resist someone in uniform? Who knows… maybe your jam is the shirt and puffer vest combo regularly spotted hopping on the train at Toorak station before the 9-5 grind. Or maybe it’s the police officer who — unfortunately — doesn’t get to bring their handcuffs home. Perhaps it’s the head honcho in a white coat and a stethoscope around their neck that you gazed at dreamily when they said “Call me Dr”.
To all the sexy people in uniform in the world, we see you, we’ve gawked at you, we’ve thought about you on our ride home. You’re a pillar of our community, working to make it a better place, both in the profession you chose and the cute clothes you wear while doing it. So please, from our wardrobes to yours, please don’t take the uniform off until we’re there to see you do it.
Could You Eat That Girl For Lunch?
Words: Shabnam Sidhu
IG: @sidhushabnam_
This was never the way I planned, not my intention… I was 12, belting out the lyrics to Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’, curious about what Cherry Chapstick off someone else’s lips would taste like. I thought to myself, I would kiss a girl, but I would never do anything more than that.
At 15, I watched the music video for Hayley Kiyoko’s ‘Girls Like Girls’. I remember replaying the line ‘girls like girls like boys do, nothing new’ in my head over and over again and feeling a sense of dissatisfaction. I felt seen but not seen in the way I wanted to be. I needed a more explicit recognition of such desire for the same sex but instead had to settle for a sanitized version of it.
By 18, I knew I was queer but I never felt like I was cookie-cutter, pigeon-hole queer enough. I’d go to queer bars with pictures of vaginas plastered all over the walls and sip raspberry vodka sodas from plastic dick straws. I hated it. It felt like a performance — like I was trying to pass a test. I didn’t know how to dress ‘gay’ nor did I engage in queer activities or surround myself within the realms of queer spaces. I just existed as is and my image felt incongruent with the image of desire often associated with queer identities.
Sapphic pop at the time heightened the loneliness I felt. That’s not to say queer pop icons back then didn’t make good music. They did, but their songs often mirrored the feelings of isolation experienced by most queer people at the time. I craved more unabashedly sapphic lyrics, ones that celebrated sapphic love without hesitation or ambiguity, and especially ones that didn’t speak about the doom and gloom that was destined for queer folks.
Art: Evelyn Johnson
IG: @evj.design
Fast forward to 2020, the sapphic pop boom I’d been waiting so long for finally came to be. With acts like Rina Sawayama, Billie Eilish, Fletcher, Kehlani, and a rebranded Hayley Kiyoko dominating the pop scene, their lyrics poignantly articulated the novel eroticism evident in WLW relationships. It felt like mainstream pop culture was finally challenging the heteronormative standards that had plagued the industry for decades. In her song ‘Cherry’, Rina Sawayama reclaims the narrative from the male gaze by embracing the ‘girl gaze’ instead. In their album ‘Under My Influence’, the Aces distinctly explore the complex nuances of sapphic love through songs like ‘Kelly’ and ‘My Phone Is Trying to Kill Me’.
At 19, I was obsessed with Girl in Red. Listening to Girl in Red became an identity of its own for young sapphic women through an unapologetically candid exploration of queer love and longing. Girl in Red’s music was raw and boldly horny. Songs like ‘Bad Idea’, ‘Did You Come’ and ‘You Stupid Bitch’ though depicting frustration, felt cathartic as they explored the intensity and vulnerability of sapphic desire. It showcased the complexity of queer relationships, the inherent highs and lows that are unlike those in heteronormative relationships. And just like that Girl in Red song, I too fell in love in October.
I was 22 when I saw MUNA perform ‘Silk Chiffon’ live with Phoebe Bridgers. It was my first time seeing two proudly queer acts sing about being so sickly sweet in love. This was exactly the kind of music my younger self needed to hear, to be told that ‘if it feels good to me, it feels good to me’.
Music today isn’t necessarily being ‘queered’. Queer women have long existed. From Joan Jett and the Blackhearts in the 80s to Australian pop icons The Veronicas in the early 2000s, these artists have been trailblazers of sapphic pop and rock. Yet, they did not receive the recognition they deserved until more recent times. The mainstream music industry has historically favoured heteronormative narratives. But in recent years, the growing shift towards greater visibility and recognition of queer artists not only honours the contributions of past trailblazers but has created a space that celebrates sapphic desire in whatever shape or form it takes.
I am 24 now and I have fallen in love with Midwest Pop Princess Chappell Roan. As a David Bowie reincarnate, Chappell Roan is a sapphic pop supernova. Every decade or so, there comes a time when the
music industry experiences a major cultural shift and Chappell Roan exemplifies this revolution. From songs like ‘Pink Pony Club’, ‘Good Luck, Babe!’, ‘HOT TO GO!’, and ‘Femininomenon’, Chappell’s rise in the music industry seems truly authentic to her identity. She’s been singing about vibrators and getting kinky since the start of her career, and despite her current popularity, her rise to stardom is only just beginning. Chappell Roan is your dream girl’s dream girl.
I am living in a time when sapphic pop is thriving. It is my favourite genre of music and it should be yours too. In the words of Chappell Roan, you’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.
Hearts and Aces
Illustration: Sama Harris
IG: @samaharris
Words: Akira Kerr
IG: @akira.kerr
Maren is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.
I met her while I was studying abroad, and she quickly became a beloved member of our group of kindred international folk. One time we all sent a picture of ourselves from when we were little to our group chat and she took it upon herself to categorise us by whether we would have been a kid who stabbed other kids with pencils or who were the unfortunate stab-ees. Maren is very flirtatious. She threw winks at people across the table, once suggestively told me she would ‘tell me about it later’, and tenderly slow-danced with people when we went to karaoke.
She is also asexual and aromantic.
For some people, asexuality conjures ideas about loneliness and unfulfillment. It’s hard to imagine a life with no sexual desire, and no sex — something a lot of us believe to be synonymous with love and romance. But for Maren, she told me she feels sad for people who are romantically or sexually attracted to other people.
“There are a lot of people who think the biggest feeling you can have is having or wanting a partner and loving them. But there are different kinds of love,” she told me.
For her, sharing friendships is a kind of love that is most fulfilling. Just before she left Spain for her exchange, she met someone who she could see being her platonic life partner. She tells me that they have plans to one day live on a farm together in rural Spain, where they will whave cows grazing around their picturesque property.
For an aromantic person, this sounds pretty romantic. But Maren says that is one of the things people get wrong about people like her. She says that people think aromantics don’t like romance, but she enjoys everything from romance novels and films, to taking her friends on romantic picnic dates in the park. She likes hearing about her friends’ love lives and making dirty jokes to the point that people are perplexed that she is asexual.
In this sense, her asexuality gives her freedom. “If you have a partner and you make sexual jokes, people might
think of you differently,” she says. “But it’s not my experience, it’s just jokes, so I feel like I’m more detached from it”.
But Maren’s asexuality has also brought some pain both to herself and others in her life. Before she realised she was asexual and aromantic, she had had a few best friends. She had mistaken her strong feelings of wanting to be close with them for romantic feelings, and started relationships with them. But she quickly realised that it wasn’t a boyfriend she wanted after all.
For one of these boyfriends, despite being a very shortlived relationship, he was torn up over the break-up.
“I felt bad for him. I felt so so sad for him because I did love him, but not in that way.” She said that they had spent two weeks being a couple, but for one of those weeks she was figuring out how to break the news to him. They were able to rehash their friendship after a few months when he started dating someone else, but Maren still felt there was distance between them that hadn’t been there before.
Since realising she was asexual and aromantic, Maren has been very open about it, and says that she feels like it’s the easiest sexuality to be. There’s no real need to come out to anyone. When a prying relative asks if she’s seeing anyone she can simply say “I’m not interested in dating”.
Asexuality tends to be one of the lesser talked about identities in the LGBTQ+ community. In a world that is becoming increasingly communicative about sex and relationships, where talking about sex in all of its forms is slowly being destigmatised, conversations about not having sex are being left behind.
But there is plenty to be talked about when it comes to asexuality and aromanticism — just look at Maren, a romantic aromantic who will flirt with you until you can’t stop blushing.
Keep Your Panty (Shots) To Yourself
Art: Jess Whelan
IG: @jesswhelandesign
Words: Karen Grace Prince
IG: @karengracex
It’s the summer of 2016, and I’m watching the infamous City Hunter for the first time. And if you’re not in the loop, it’s probably THE quintessential hard-boiled crime anime — a cult classic that follows a private detective with a sharp aim and penchant for shameless womanising. Even at fifteen, I couldn’t shake my youthful discomfort: why were the female characters simply there just to be props for sexualisation or violence? What was the point of their existence beyond advancing the male character’s story? Why are the women reduced to mere objects for lust and trauma in the narrative, and nothing more?
Sex always sells. We all know that. Put someone in a sexually charged scene, and it rakes in an audience like no other. Anime is no stranger to that market. The West’s love affair with Japan brings two polarising cultures together through a singular love for anime, which more often than not has created more harm than good.
Female characters are treated as cannon fodder for ‘fanservice’, designed to appease the largely male audience with young female characters often placed in scenarios
with sexual undertones. The problem is, the idea of femininity is often conflated with sexualisation. Take ‘Ranma ½’, a classic fixture of 90s anime, that features a boy’s tendency to turn into a girl when drenched in cold water. What could’ve been a great space to explore gender fluidity feels diluted when the character’s female form is consistently harassed or subject to groping or unnecessary breast reveals.
Worse still, they get the full eroticised makeover: exaggerated body proportions, overly-large doe eyes, and voices that sound like they just inhaled helium. And to top it off, they're then tossed into scenes that teeter dangerously close to pedophilic or soft-porn territory. But what makes ‘fanserviced’ anime more palatable to a wider audience is that it's animated and merely suggestive, earning a green light for child-friendliness. And so, panty shots, anatomically incorrect breast proportions, orgasmic voices and sexual innuendos all get a pass.
Japanese culture in the process, for women and girls in particular, takes a hit. Japanese women have long been subjects for exotification and sexualisation since the beginning of Western-led wars in Asia, and anime has simply been a reinforcing factor of that. Anime standards create an undercurrent of misogyny that seep beyond the confines of animation and spill over into real life. The overt fetishisation and exotification of Japanese women and girls has perpetuated the idea that they are ‘submissive’ and ‘docile’, existing solely to serve their partner and help them reach their full potential while maintaining the illusion of being ‘soft’ and ‘pure’. They are subjected to Western-projected fantasies, with their real identities lost among the false stereotypes pronounced on them.
That’s not always the case though. Good representation does exist, with strong, complex and multifaceted female characters that drive the story forward on their
own terms. Take a look at ‘NANA’, featuring a nuanced portrayal of two women navigating their dreams and struggles amidst the Japanese punk rock scene, or ‘Chihayafuru’, following a girl’s ambition to excel in the traditional Japanese game of Karuta. These narratives do challenge the traditional stereotypes while honouring the complexity of real Japanese women. Yet, these examples still remain too few and far between.
This begs the difficult question: who do we really point fingers at? The Western 'weeaboo’ community that are enabled by these false stereotypes? Or the anime industry that sets precedent for this demand? The problem is, they work in tandem. When there is a market for eroticised child-like characters, often written by men who have never felt the touch of a woman, it leaves behind a stain difficult to wash out. We’re simply meant to roll our eyes, skip scenes or ignore characters that seem to only giggle, blush and have about as many autonomous thoughts as a plank of wood. Even when a female character happens to pass the Bechdel test, the visuals seem to undermine everything she stands for. Fanservice boils down to one thing: that a character can be strong, smart, complex or interesting, but she holds no real value unless she’s drawn to be desirable.
The bottom line is, women and girls continue to bear the brunt of the ill-informed stereotypes that fetishise, sexualise, infantalise or even pornify them. Whether real or reimagined, live-action or animated, the sexual exploitation of women runs rampant regardless of the medium. Changing this narrative requires holding both creators and consumers accountable, while also critically engaging in the kind of content being consumed. But it also means having a grip on the real world beyond the scope of 2D porn.
So a little PSA to all the weeaboos out there: Go out. Touch some grass. Meet real women. Think for yourself. Real life is not an anime episode.
