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Editor’s letter. W
elcome to the summer issue of Essential Child! It’s a favourite time of year as the sun shines, holidays begin and Santa makes his annual visit. But it’s also a time when family harmony is sometimes challenged. In this issue, our childhood consultant, Pauline, brings you some insightful tips from other parents on helping children get along. In our beautiful part of the world, holidays for most people mean time at the beach, so we share with you some interesting information about the health risks and benefits of spending time in the sun. Another area of concern for parents is television and the amount children watch, so Pauline and Rebecca have investigated some of the issues, offering some different perspectives to help you make up your own mind on this complex subject.. In past issues, we’ve spoken to mothers who choose to stay at home, instead of returning to paid work. This issue, we get an interesting perspective from a father who’s chosen to take leave from his corporate job to be a stay-at-home dad. Essential Child Issue 4, Summer 2009 Editor Sarah Rogers Early Childhood Consultant Pauline Pryor Layout & Design Sam Pryor Contributing Writers Deborah Abela Jaime Bates Rebecca Cork Advertising enquiries: Sarah Rogers, phone 0410 338 201 ads@essentialchild.com.au Contact: phone 02 6656 2109 fax 02 6656 2131 info@essentialchild.com.au PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450
We had a wonderful response to our review of Kids Alert Wrist Bands. Thank you to all the parents who shared their experiences with childhood allergies. You can read some of their stories in our Letters column. 2009 was an exciting year for the Essential Child team. Since our launch in April, we’ve brought you four issues and have been delighted by the feedback we’ve received from readers and advertisers alike. I encourage you to support our advertisers, and in fact all local business, so that Essential Child magazine can continue in the coming years. Wishing you happy and healthy holidays from the entire Essential Child team. Sarah. x
Inside this issue: 2 3 4
ABN: 47 491 617 953 Essential Child is published four times a year by Essential Child. No other parties or individuals have any financial interest in this magazine. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the written consent of the publisher. Content within this magazine is information only and not necessarily the views of the editor. It does not purport to be a substitute for professional health and parenting advice. Readers are advised to seek a doctor for all medical and health matters. The publisher and authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of an action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendations set out in this magazine. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders.
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Letters to the Editor Competition Winners Products We Love Out of the mouths of babes Sibling Harmony by Pauline Pryor Children & Television An Investigation Sun Exposure Health risks & benefits What’s for dinner? A Yummy Dessert! Book reviews Keeping Children Safe From Sexual Abuse from NAPCAN Daddy’s Home! Interview with a stay-at-home dad essential child
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Letters to the editor letters@essentialchild.com.au Featured letter On Fiona’s tips Just a quick note to say thanks for your magazine. I found a copy of it at the Coffee Club and had a quick look at it while have coffee with my 2 1/2yr old and my 9 month old. I loved what I saw so much I brought a copy home! Not only is it full of local ads (thank goodness!) and practical advice but the Tips for Parents by Fiona Chandler was fantastic! It is great to read an article by someone down to earth with rearing children and stressing that we don’t have to be Wonder Women to raise good kids! Today we get so caught up in keeping up with the Jones’ and being politically correct that we forget the fun things to do with our kids and that quality time is more important than anything. Anyway, thanks again. I look forward to your next issue. Christa Pitman Mother of 2 gorgeous girls (especially when they run around naked!) Christa receives a $50 Gift Voucher to spend at Style Collective www.stylecollective.com.au We had a big response to the KidsAlert wrist bands offer. There are free wrist bands on their way to everyone who wrote in. Many thanks to Tiffany from KidsAlert. Here is a sample of readers’ stories.
Too small for an epi-pen We have just found out our 1 year old daughter is allergic to eggs! A few weeks ago I was getting dinner ready for our 3 year old, she was having scrambled eggs, a favourite Sunday night dinner. I gave my 1 year old a taste of the eggs and she would not open her mouth and started screaming as soon as I put it near her face! A little bit of egg dropped down her top and when I undressed her at bath time I noticed big welts on her skin where the egg had touched! We have had the allergy confirmed this week at the Coffs Harbour Allergy Clinic and are now adjusting to our new egg free life. She cannot have an epi-pen until she is 15kg, she is currently 10.6kgs. At this stage I am not comfortable for her to be with other people when I am
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not around, as there is egg in almost everything. A KidsAlert wrist band will help Nanny and other family members remember not to give her egg. Kristi Symons, Mullaway
Two allergic boys My experience as a mother took a very frightening and dramatic turn when our second son was approx 18 months old (he is now 6). He was eating a soft-boiled egg (for the first time) when after tasting it, he started pulling at his tongue and throat. My immediate reaction was that he must have swallowed some shell, but could find nothing. At first I thought I was imagining it, but right there before me his whole face was changing: lips were going red, blotchy & puffing up, so were his eyes, and he was obviously very distressed. I threw him in the car & whizzed up to A&E. Diagnosis: severe allergic reaction, treated with a shot of adrenalin. The stress of this incident is one that I will never forget. Unfortunately that was the beginning of quite a few similar situations. We now know many of the A&E staff by first name! He has reacted to peanuts, hazelnut meal, macadamias, preservatives, apricots and some environmental allergens in the same way. Zeke now has an epipen junior, and is on daily antihistamines. Our third son, (3) is also anaphylactic. He too has an epi-pen. He has suffered reactions from penicillin, preservatives and environmental allergens. Needless to say he hasn’t tasted egg, nuts etc. Donna Alderman, Coramba
Parties & excursions are a worry Thanks for a great magazine, I love reading it, it’s good to have a magazine like this for the Coffs area. I have an 8 year old daughter who has suffered from nut allergies since she was 2 years old. She has over the last 2 years become anaphylaxic to all nuts and has an epi-pen in case of any reactions. Your article stood out to me as a great idea for my daughter, especially for when she goes to parties or school excursions which are the times that I worry the most about her! Mel Ricketts, Coffs Harbour
Write to us The writer of this month’s featured letter receives a $50 voucher to spend at Style Collective. www.stylecollective.com.au Next issue, we’ll be giving away a $50 Gift Voucher to spend at bambooty! www.bambooty.com.au
Write to us at: letters@essentialchild.com.au or PO Box 1587, Coffs Harbour, 2450.
Starting school My daughter is to start “big School” next year. As she suffers from uncontrolled epilepsy, it would be reassuring if she wore a band to alert others of her condition. I like the idea that they are adjustable, washable & comfortable to wear. Suzie Atkinson, Moonee Beach
One lick was enough My daughter (3) is allergic to all tree nuts. I discovered this one day when I gave her a Nutella sandwich. She only licked it but it was enough to make her go limp and swell up. Had she not have been treated by the ambulance she would surely have died. We now carry an epi-pen everywhere we go as she is also allergic to many other foods. Jamaica Magic, Coffs Harbour
Type 1 Toddler My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when she was only 13 months old. Going through the “terrible two’s” is a difficult time for any parent (and child) but having a young toddler with Type 1 was especially hard. Thankfully it has gotten a little easier as she has gotten older and hopefully it will get easier as she grows. Jason & Vicki Schmidt, Safety Beach
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Out of the mouths of babes When my mother told my four-yearold boy about the time she found a fly in a sausage, he said “Well, do you know what? Mum found a cow in her sausage!” Angela, Coffs Harbour
Modern Cloth Nappies My first effort with cloth nappies was a disaster. I spent $500 on the first organic cotton, all-in-one reuseable nappies I came across. I pre-washed them, as per the instructions but alas, the first time I put one on my daughter she wet right through it. ‘No worries, this isn’t supposed to be easy,’ I thought to myself. I put another freshly washed nappy on her and sat down to read a book with her on my lap. Next thing, I felt a warm wetness against my own shorts! The third, forth and fifth attempt were no different. This is when I found Ebay selling my $500 worth of cloth nappies for a fraction of what I paid for them, absolutely devastated that I’d bummed out. My son was born the following year. Soon after he was born I was handed two Modern Cloth Nappies. “Try them out, they are washed and ready to go” I was told. Oh no, I wasn’t falling for this trick again, so they were thrown underneath my change table and there they stayed. Two months later I was at home with my children, my son had just done a big poo in his last disposable, and my daughter was having a rare day sleep. What was I going to do? Searching the change table, I stumbled on the Modern Cloth Nappies. Beggars can’t be choosers – so on it went. An hour later I was a little concerned he hadn’t wet out the sides yet but I put him down for a sleep. When he eventually woke three hours after his nappy change, I picked him up, armed with the second Modern Cloth Nappy and a fresh set of clothes. But his clothes were dry! I was worried - a breast-fed baby couldn’t go three hours without weeing. I took his nappy off and to my surprise the nappy he was wearing was wet on the inside but it hadn’t leaked! I
was amazed. When my husband finally arrived home hours later armed with a box of disposables, I had him change our son. A sloppy poo nappy but again with no leaks, all contained nicely in the confines of the cloth nappy. And that was that – I was converted for real. In the couple of months following I slowly built up my cloth nappy collection. We had the odd leak and the odd blow out and sure, I had an extra couple of loads of washing per week but the peace of mind that I was using chemical-free nappies against my baby’s skin was well worth the effort. My only regret is that is took me so long to find out about Modern Cloth Nappies. I hope reading my story inspires you to find out more about Modern Cloth Nappies.
We had given our children some chocolate as a treat, and later they were playing a noisy game. My husband said “I hope it’s not that chocolate making you wild”, and our 5 year old replied, “No, it’s just our little brains.” Liz, Sawtell On a recent visit to my parent’s farm my Dad took our three-year-old to watch him chop the heads off some chickens (“All part of his education” he said, and we agreed that Grandpa was probably right). When one of the chooks (inevitably) started to run around headless, three-year-old said “Look Granpa, him can’t see where him goin’”. Greg, Glenreagh Send your quotes to letters@essentialchild.com.au
Written by: Jaime Bates, Director of Baby Bella/Modern Cloth Nappy nut
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Sibling Rivalry by Pauline Pryor L
earning to live together in a family takes some sorting out with different ages, needs and personalities involved. Some conflict is very normal, but not always easy to live with! I spoke to some locals whose children seem to get on well with each other, and asked them how they achieved this harmony. While they all made it clear that their homes were not havens of perfect serenity, they did have some good ideas to share. My thanks to: Nicola, Hubert, Sue, Michael, Vicki, John, Joanne, Sam and Lisa for their generosity and their insights.
On prevention • All three kids get some uninterrupted parent time daily, be it individual story reading, or a play in the park. • We don’t try to treat them exactly the same because they’re all different. But we make sure they all know they are loved, and we give them the same amount of attention over time. Maybe one day, one of them needs more attention because something has happened or they’re sick, but the others know that they get their fair share. • I don’t feel the need to always buy for both of them. If one needs shoes, for instance, I don’t buy something for the other one. For one thing, the budget won’t allow, but also I think it stops the clamouring, “Me too, me too”. They know their turn will come. • They all need a bit of space that won’t be interfered with by the others - even just a special drawer. • I make sure the little one doesn’t mess up her big brother’s things - for instance he has a place for his blocks where she can’t knock them down • Before the baby arrived we talked a lot about what babies are like. • We asked all of our relatives and friends to make sure they talked to [the older child] before they made a fuss of the baby. We didn’t want her to feel that she had been replaced! • We always say how lucky the younger one is to have older brothers, rather than how lucky the older ones are to have a little sister. We know that sometimes the little sister can be a
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pain! • We are constantly giving the message that everyone is different, everyone has things they are good at • I try not to compare the children with each other - I don’t say look, your brother can do it so you should be able to do it too. • We recognise that tiredness and hunger make children grumpy so we try not to do difficult tasks like the family shopping when they are tired and hungry. • We try to discourage competition, and encourage having a go. • We just try to be fair and reasonable. Then I think they learn how to do that too. • Our children get minimal television exposure. Television seems to make them more impatient, aggressive and irritable with each other. • Ultimately children do end up parroting what they experience, so as parents we try to appreciate and thank each other, as well as telling each child how much we like and appreciate them. • As a couple we talk about our differences of opinions and negotiate solutions with each other in front of the children so they can see that you don’t always get your own way. • We have some ground rules about what
I once heard a very wise man urge parents to “respect the sibling subsystem”. What he meant was that we need to allow a natural ‘pecking order’ among our children. This doesn’t mean that the oldest children can be bossy towards younger brothers and sisters. What it does mean, however, is that we need to recognise their position in the family by allowing some privileges simply because of their age. It could be a later bed time, having pocket money, going on sleep-overs, using the special pen, whatever. If younger children complain you merely need to say, for example, “He can do it because he’s is seven. You’ll be able to do it when you’re seven”. The pecking order seems to be a natural thing that often lasts into adulthood. When I mentioned it to a thirtysomething friend recently she commented that even now when she and her older sister are passengers in a car, she naturally gets into the back seat allowing the older sister in the front. They do this without thinking. is OK in our family and what’s not. Like we don’t allow hitting or name calling, no matter what, and all the kids know this.
On sharing, swapping and taking turns • We give allowances for age. We say things like “She’s only little, little children are just learning how to share”. • All of my children have some special things that they don’t have to share. I
more than one of the same toy, like matchbox cars and bikes, so they can play together without having to share.
On sorting things out Sometimes tempers do get high and you will need to help. If a young child is about to hurt another child, quickly separate them. Keep the angry child with you for a while, or find her something different to do until she has calmed down. You may have to separate older children too until tempers cool. But remember that separating children does not solve their problem. You can help them to work out a way to do things differently when they are calmer. Here are some ideas from the families I spoke to:
encourage them to share too, but just not everything (like I don’t share my jewellery!) • We make sure birthdays are special - they don’t have to be shared. We don’t believe in giving other children a present too when it’s not their birthday. • Swapping is a good way to get them to share. We teach the older ones the art of swapping and distraction when they are negotiating with little ones. • I encourage them to take turns. They can say how long they will be (say, 5 minutes), and I help them to hand it over when the time is up. I make sure too that the first one can have another turn later. They don’t really understand about time, but they get the idea - my turn, your turn, then my turn again. They have learnt that if they give the thing away it’s not gone forever! • For the littlies I make sure there’s
Max & Tilly Bright Bots Jelly Beans Feedback Run Scotty Run Paper Dolls Kaboosh Ocean & Earth Bonds Honey Papoose Coolibah 2 Chillies Speedo Milly
Nuggets Cherry Lane Morning Star O’Neill FreeWorld Voice Fertile Mind Bobble Art Britt Lark Stubbies Midford Grosby Bata Red Robin
• I always try to listen to each child’s point of view before I respond. Usually I didn’t see what happened in the first place, so I try not to take sides. The child who seems to start the quarrel is not always the one who actually did. Often one of them will do something to annoy the other one because he knows he’ll react. • I try not to be the umpire - otherwise someone always thinks I’m unfair. I get them to sort it out (or at least I try that first). I say something like “How can you both be happy?” and hopefully they can come to some sort of compromise. With the little ones it’s usually taking turns. I often have to help out with some suggestions or alternatives. • I let them know that I can see they’ve got a problem, but that I think they can work it out. • We remind them about the house rules - sometimes this is enough to make them stop and sort it out reasonably. • I make sure they listen to each other instead of both shouting at the same time. “Your turn to talk, his turn to talk”.
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• We encourage them to solve their own problems amongst each other with minimal parental interference (except when there is blood!). This can lead to fascinating solutions to problems we would never have come up with, that are acceptable to all parties. A common phrase is, “How do you think you could solve this problem?” • They are never allowed to be physically violent with each other or mean to each other. Such behaviour is pulled up sharply with the usual, “Hitting your brother is not solving the problem. How else could you solve the problem?” • We encourage them to think about the other person’s point of view: “How do you think he feels now that he can’t play with the truck?” • I find generally the more unlikeable the child’s behaviour, the more that child needs to be liked and loved, and given a little more praise and affection. It can be tricky when they are being really unpleasant, but generally it never fails to work. • Sometimes they just need to do something that helps them calm down. I get out the paints or some books for the little ones. The older ones play music or take the dog for a walk. • If one of the kids is really upset, sometimes they just need a cuddle before they can help to sort things out. Be comforted in the knowledge that, through arguments with their brothers and sisters, children can learn the importance of respecting other people’s feelings and belongings, and learn to sort out problems fairly without hurting each other. These are vital skills to have for other relationships in the future. For further information: Raising Children Network www.raisingchildren.net.au
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Children & Television An Investigation W
hile it may be unrealistic to prevent littlies from watching television, being aware of the issues around viewing can help us to make sensible decisions for our children. In this Essential Child investigation, we bring you different perspectives, from government sources, an Early Childhood advisor and a parent, to delve into the issues surrounding this complicated topic.
from Early Childhood Connections
Perhaps surprisingly, young children watch more television than anyone else. Research shows that young children typically spend more time watching television than doing any other single activity, apart from sleeping.
Why is television an early childhood health issue? Recent research has looked at the impact of television on children’s well-being, health and development. It shows that there are links between television viewing and obesity, language development, behaviour, sleep and social-emotional development.
for children under two years. In fact, the negative impact of television is most significant for children under two years. Experts advise limiting young children’s exposure to television. The American Academy of Pediatricians advocates a ‘no screen policy’ for children under the age of two years.
What can parents do? • Limit the time your child spends watching television. Consider the total ‘screen time’ (DVDs, screenbased games, any time the television is switched on) your child is experiencing – not just television screen time. • Decide what television programs are appropriate for your child. The Raising Children Network provides practical advice about how to choose appropriate programs for children. See: www.raisingchidren.net.au
The effects of television exposure are affected by:
• Monitor what your child is watching, and if possible, watch television with your child.
• Content (e.g. is the content of the program violent?)
• Talk with your child about what you have seen.
• Time duration (the risks increase with the number of hours of television exposure)
• Provide alternative activities for your child, including thing he/she can enjoy when you are busy. Children learn best through doing things rather than by watching television.
• How the young child watches television (Is the child watching on their own or with a parent?). While older preschool children can benefit socially and educationally from watching certain television programs, research shows that this is not the case
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by Pauline Pryor
When we, as adults, watch television we draw on our own past and present relationships, knowledge and experiences to help us understand and make sense of what we see. Sally Jenkinson, in her book The Genius of Play, suggests that because children do not have this vast background of real life experiences to refer to as they watch television, they may refer instead to other TV programmes they have seen, essentially borrowing memories, perceptions and imaginations from ‘the box’.
Television can be confusing
The Official Fact Sheet Television is a part of the environment in which early childhood development occurs. Most children in Australia are exposed to television from a very early age, sometimes even from birth. All aspects of early childhood development – cognitive, social-emotional and physical – occur while children experience television. Not all television exposure is intentional as televisions are almost everywhere, including in shopping centres and doctors waiting rooms or in the many homes where television is always switched on.
Expanding the official line
This Parent Fact Sheet is available in different community languages and can be downloaded from the Early Childhood Connections website: www.ecconnections.com.au
When we consider what Sally Jenkinson says, is it any wonder that some children believe superheroes and monsters are real, and that many of them don’t understand the consequences of dangerous play and thoughtless words. Even up to nine years of age children will have difficulty working out the difference between fantasy and reality. Older primary school age children are likely to be disturbed by material that is based on fact, and worry that it could happen to them. They are curious about the teenage world, sex and fashion and can be misled by the way boy-girl relationships are shown in the soapies.
Violence While there are different views about how much violence on TV is harmful to children, evidence does show that seeing violence repeatedly on TV has an impact: • children are more likely to use aggressive means to solve problems • many are made anxious about the “mean and scary” world in which they appear to live • and they become less sensitive to violence in real life. Remember that there is often a lot of violent or otherwise scary items on the news. If your children see worrying events on television they may need reassurance that they are safe, and that it won’t happen to them.
Advertising Advertising influences children. Most children under 8 years believe what the adverts tell them, and while children of eight to ten years are often aware that adverts don’t always tell the whole truth, they not sure how to tell when they are not. With the techniques that are used, children can be misled or tricked by the shape, speed and size of the
images, and by the way a product is shown to work. Many ads are designed to encourage children to pester their parents!
Television and learning TV does hold children’s attention, but it does not always engage their minds in ‘active learning’. Other activities like reading and playing do this, and the longer children watch TV the less time there is to play, to socialise and to exercise - all of which are important to development, learning and health. A recent US study showed that when television is on in the home a lot of the time, infants’ language development is delayed. Adults spoke less to children who in turn responded with fewer vocalisations. Some educational programs, especially those that show positive interactions and non-aggressive conflict resolution, can have benefits for children 3 years and older. However after watching fast-paced TV shows, children have difficulty sticking with tasks that take longer, like reading or doing puzzles. Teachers report that children who watch cartoons in the morning before school have more difficulty concentrating in class.
Sleep Television viewing can negatively affect the quality of young children’s sleep. It may make it more difficult for them to get to sleep, as well as leading to restless sleep and nightmares.
Avoiding TV battles TV creates pressure on family routines such as meals, bedtime and getting ready for school. Here are some ideas to help: • Make a rule that TV is not switched on until all jobs have been done (or not switched on at all in the mornings).
http://www.cyh.com The Genius of Play: Celebrating the Spirit of Childhood, by Sally Jenkinson (Hawthorn Press Early Years Series, 2001) The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne For further information: http://www.youngmedia.org.au/
A Parent’s Saviour? by Rebecca Cork
It’s a shame that the media beat up of the Federal Government’s new parenting guidelines, Get Up and Grow, focused so negatively on the ‘television’ aspect because putting that part of the release aside, it is a wonderfully helpful and insightful document. The recommendation that children under two have no ‘screen-time’ at all is both unrealistic and impracticable to many families with young children. Unfortunately this one recommendation may have alienated it from the very people it has set out to assist. Our daughter was a whole thirteen and a half months when our son was born and I swear, every night I got down on my knees and thanked all the gods I could think of for The Wiggles. Without TV I would not have been able to strap her in her high chair, offer her a snack (organic of course!) and get on with feeding her brother. Without TV she would take an hour to eat her homemade, locally sourced vegies and her hormone free, free range chicken. With Jeff and Murray’s help Dad could feed her in 15 minutes and then start on our dinner and the washing I hadn’t gotten to that day. Yes there are studies that focus on the evil that television can inflict on our
children. Popular concerns have been: the potential stifling of imagination; stealing time from other more ‘productive’ activities; interference with academic performance and children becoming more distractible and more aggressive. There are also studies that recognise the tremendous potential television has to affect children’s learning and development in a positive way. Television needn’t be another reason to feel guilty. Being an aware parent alleviates many of the concerns that are raised in this debate. • Be aware of the content of the messages that are being relayed in terms of negative stereotypes and gender roles, provide a sounding board for unrealistic and or inappropriate behaviour. • Regulate and monitor what your child is watching. Just because it is on ABC Kids doesn’t mean that it is age appropriate. Some of their programs are meant for ‘tweenagers’ or an older demographic. • Talk to your child while they are watching a program. Make links between what is happening on the show and the child’s life, make comments and ask your child questions – What’s she doing? Where is the blue car? Engage your child with what is happening on the screen and encourage them to join in the games and songs. To suggest that children two and under should be banned from watching television is crazy talk. Surely it is more helpful to offer up practical suggestions that parents can easily incorporate into their current lifestyles. It is possible for children to benefit from ‘screen time’. Whether or not they do depends entirely on what they watch, who they watch with, and how they engage with what they are seeing. [RC]
• Decide on bedtime based on your child’s age, rather than on the TV program. • Select a program that finishes well before bedtime and is not scary. • Because children need to wind down between TV and sleep, turn the volume down or off before bedtime. • Don’t let children have television sets in their bedrooms. • Try to keep a mealtime TV-free so that there is time for people to talk to each other. This helps children to know their family and have a sense of belonging. [PJP] Sources: Child and Youth Health
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Sun Exposure Health risks & benefits
T
he sun presents some serious health risks to children, but it also gives important health benefits. We need to protect children against the harmful effects of Ultra Violet (UV) radiation from the sun, but sun protection does not mean no sun exposure.
What’s for dinner? Mushroom & Hazelnut Terrine Serves 6-8 This delicious dish is a great addition to any holiday feast or barbeque. While it’s perfect for vegetarians, all of your guests will want their share.
You may have heard concerns about Vitamin D for children. Without some sun exposure, children may develop a condition that affects their bones. This condition is called rickets. Only small periods of sun exposure to a child’s hands, arms and face are needed to protect children from this condition. Children usually receive enough sun for Vitamin D production from incidental sun exposure. Babies should not be directly exposed to the sun.
500g mushrooms, chopped coarsely
Five important sun protection measures
freshly ground black pepper
1. Sun protective clothing Choose loose fitting, close weave fabric clothing that covers as much skin as possible. 2. Hats Hats should protect the face, neck and ears. Baseball caps and visors offer little protection to the cheeks, ears and neck and are not recommended. Suitable sun protection hats include: • a soft legionnaire style hat, with a flap at the back that meets at the front peak • a broad brimmed hat or a bucket style with a brim of at least 5 cm and a deep crown that sits easily on the child’s head and still allows them to see and hear clearly If the hat has a long strap and toggle, it may be safest to place the strap at the back of the child’s head so it doesn’t become a choking hazard. 3. Sunscreen • Only use sunscreen with other forms of sun protection and on those small areas of the body not already covered by a hat and clothing. Don’t use sunscreen to extend time spent out in the sun • Sunscreens should only be used on babies if sun exposure is unavoidable, but shade and clothing provide the best protection. Don’t expose babies under 12 months to direct sun
250g onions, finely chopped 50g hazelnuts, chopped 1 ½ cups cooked rice 2-3 cloves garlic, 60g butter 2 eggs 1 cup cream 1 teaspoon dried thyme 2 teaspoons sea salt Method • Test the sunscreen on a small area of the child’s skin before using it to make sure there’s no reaction • Use an SPF 30+ broad spectrum, water resistant sunscreen; check and follow the sunscreens use by date • Apply the sunscreen 20 minutes before going outside and reapply every two hours. 4. Shade Use shade whenever possible. Even while in the shade, UV radiation can reflect from surfaces such as water, sand and concrete so children need to wear a hat, appropriate clothing and apply sunscreen. 5. Sunglasses It is important to protect children’s eyes from sun damage. Sunglasses and protective swimming goggles specifically designed for babies and toddlers are available. Sunglasses should: • be marked EPF (eye protection factor) 10 and meet the Australian Standard 1067 (Sunglasses – Category 2, 3 or 4) • be close fitting and stay on securely so that the arms don’t become a safety hazard • wrap around and cover as much of the eye area as possible. Talk to your child’s carers about sun exposure and their practices to protect your child’s health.
1. Crush garlic with ½ teaspoon of the sea salt 2. Melt the butter, and cook the onions and garlic until golden 3. Add the mushrooms, hazelnuts and thyme, and continue cooking to brown the mushrooms. 4. Turn into a large bowl, and mix in the rice 5. Beat the eggs lightly, and into them mix the cream, pepper and remaining salt. 6. Pour this egg mixture over the mushroom and rice mixture, and combine well. 7. Pour into a greased and lined 6-8 cup loaf tin or other oven-proof dish and bake, uncovered, at 180° for about 1 hour or until firm and brown. Allow to rest for a while, then turn out. Serve hot or at room temperature with crusty bread and a green salad. [PJP]
We’d love to hear your favourite healthy recipies!
Send them to us at letters@essentialchild.com.au essential child
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Book reviews Hooray for Fish!
Fearless By Colin Thompson and Illustrated by Sarah Davis
by Lucy Cousins Picture book available in hard and soft cover, as a board book, and with a DVD animation narrated by Emilia Fox. Ages babies to early readers (Walker Books) Swim along with Little Fish and meet all his fishy friends in a splishy, splashy undersea riot of colour and rhyme. This cheerful and imaginative oversized book has opposites and patterns galore as well as a lot of surprises. Who ever heard of a pineapple fish? Or fish with hearts, stars, or clouds on them? ? You’ll see it all in this fun book that ends with a reunion with Mummy fish. While the DVD is sure to appeal to children, with it’s bright colours, simple shapes, slow movements and specially composed music, it is not a replacement for cuddling up and reading. The text and pictures in the book provide a wealth of opportunities for conversation, counting and laughter. Four and fiveyear-olds will enjoy the rhyming delights such as “Ele-fish, shelly fish”.
Picture Book Ages 4-8 (ABC Books – Harper Collins) Sometimes when babies are born, they get the wrong name and ‘It’s the same with dogs.’ Fearless is a bulldog that has been newly adopted by the ClaybourneWillment family – but as loveable as he is, he isn’t fearless – or very smart. If cars backfired, so did he; he was frightened of stairs, brooms and even handbags; but when a robber enters the family home one night, Fearless gets the chance to finally live up to his name. Colin Thompson’s loveable pooch has been captured beautifully in Sarah Davis’ illustrations. In each one we fall for Fearless because of the warmth, detail and cheeky sense of fun. Fearless’ facial expressions are especially endearing, and children will laugh out loud at his antics. For dog lovers and those who’ve ever felt they’ve been given the wrong name, this one’s a real treat that is sure to be read many times. [DA]
A delightful read that children will return to again and again, from the creator of ‘Maisy’, ‘Za-Za’s Baby Brother’ and ‘Jazzy in the Jungle’. [PJP]
BRAZEL’S
PEST CONTROL Grafton – Coffs Harbour – Dorrigo – Nambucca
Ph: 6652 1231
Battle Boy Part 1: Open Fire & Part 2: Red Devil, Down By Chris Carter Young Readers (Pan Macmillan) Professor Perdu, the new librarian at a very special local library, invites Napoleon Augustus Smythe (aged 11) to be a spy for Operation Battle Book: a sealed section of the library that has crammed all the greatest battles of history into a series of innocent but very powerful books. Napoleon accepts the invitation and becomes Battle Boy 005 or BB005. With the Professor’s new invention, the Simulation Skin, he is completely protected as he enters various books to relive the battles, collecting data and solving the mysteries of history. The first in the series, Open Fire, sees BB005 board Francis Drake’s the Bonaventure in 1587. The second, Red Devil, Down places BB005 in France in 1918 and the shooting down of the Red Baron. These exciting tales, told with fast-paced action and great gadgets, invite us to revisit some of history’s best bits through the eyes of young Napoleon. Designed to engage reluctant readers, the books have high interest and low-level reading difficulty. [DA]
Possums' Den Preschool
2/35 Hurley Drive, Coffs Harbour • • • • • •
Quotation service White ant specialists Pre-purchase inspections New building pre-treatments Plus all types of pest control Exterra & Nemesis termite baiting systems • Enquire about our conditional guarantee • AEPMA timber pest inspection accreditation • Thermal imaging
Possums’ Den is a small communitybased, not-for-profit early childhood centre specialising in the preschool years (3-6). We have a passion for providing a best-practice program in an attractive caring environment.
Open 8am-6pm Now taking enrolments for 2011
8 Earl St, Coffs Harbour Ph: 6652 5066
• PC Reg No 270 • PC Lic No L0412 • PC Lic No L1567
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Come in now to experience the atmosphere of the centre
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Keeping Children Safe From Sexual Abuse from NAPCAN S
adly, sexual abuse of children is common. Children are mostly abused by someone they know – even relatives and family friends. Child sexual abuse happens in all cultures and all kinds of families. Girls and boys of all ages are at risk.
What is Child Sexual Abuse? Child sexual abuse is when an adult or someone older or bigger uses a child for his or her own sexual pleasure. Abusers take advantage of a child’s trust or use their power and authority over the child. Child sexual abuse includes many different activities such as: • Sexual touching of the child or adult • Oral sex, vaginal or anal intercourse • Indecent exposure • Exposing children to sexual acts or pictures • Enticing children into internet ‘chat rooms’
from sexual abuse just as you talk to them about road, fire, water, and internet safety.
Touching Even little children know the difference between touching that is ok or not ok. Explain that no-one has the right to touch them in places and ways that make them feel scared or uncomfortable.
Feelings Encourage children to trust their feelings. Talk about feeling safe and unsafe and work together on plans of what to do if they feel unsafe. This should include ways to leave awkward situations, like saying they have to go home now, or need to ask a parent or other adult for permission first.
Grown-ups
Most abusers go to great lengths to win children’s trust. They often target vulnerable children. A normal friendly relationship develops into a sexual one, with the abuser either persuading or coercing the child to cooperate. Then they often use threats that something terrible will happen in order to stop the child telling.
How can I keep my child safe?
Knowing & talking about bodies
Know about your children’s daily world: • Where they are • Where they play • Who they play with • What activities they get involved with • How they use the Internet – web sites, chat rooms, emailing, video, CD and DVD use • Who you trust to look after them when you’re not there
Encourage children’s natural interest in their bodies. Teach them the correct names of all their body parts. Talking about sexuality can embarrass some parents. Your local child librarian can help find appropriate age level books to discuss with your child. If you can talk comfortably about these matters, it will be easier for your children to tell you their concerns.
Talk and listen to your children It’s important to teach your children they can refuse to do anything with an adult or child that they feel is wrong or frightens them. However, you cannot expect children to say ‘No’. Encourage them to tell you whenever they are worried about what other adults or children want them to do. ALWAYS LISTEN carefully to your child’s fears and concerns. Stop what you are doing and really pay attention.
Teaching your child sexual safety Teach your children how to stay safe
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Believe what your child says and listen calmly. Showing your distress may frighten them from telling you. Reassure your child it is not their fault and they are not in trouble. Tell them how proud you are they told you.
We teach children to respect adults, so it’s hard for them to say ‘no’ without feeling rude. Explain that sometimes adults do things that are not ok and they should tell you if this happens. Don’t expect them to kiss or cuddle other adults, especially ones they don’t know. Make a practice of discussing what your children do when they are with other adults and whether they like these people, just as you ask about their friends. This will alert you early to possible concerns.
How do abusers work?
What if my child has been sexually abused?
Secrets! Many abusers make children keep their abuse a secret- often using threats. Children need to learn the difference between safe and unsafe secrets. Teach them the only ok secrets are those which give someone a nice surprise.
Who can they trust? Work out with your child which key people they can trust to ask for help if they are frightened and you aren’t there. Does your child’s school have a protective behaviours program?
Reassure them that you love them. Let them know that they are safe now and you will deal with it all and the abuse won’t happen again. Don’t push for details of the abuse if your child isn’t ready to tell you. Give them time. If the abuser is a close family member, family life will be seriously disrupted. Try to keep normal routines going if possible. Routines help children feel more secure. Even though you may feel very anxious about your child’s safety, try to maintain their usual activities. Think carefully about who to tell about your child’s abuse and when, and talk to your child about this. Other people knowing can make the situation more distressing. Explain the difference between privacy and secrecy to avoid your child feeling ashamed. IMPORTANT. Get help and support for yourself. You may feel betrayed, angry, or failing as a parent. You need support from friends and family and often need professional counselling advice to keep going. Remember, child sexual abuse is rarely a parent’s fault. Abusers are clever manipulators of parents as well as children... Important: Sexual abuse is a CRIME! If you suspect someone is abusing your child or others, you must tell the appropriate authorities to put a stop to abuse.
For more parenting information and support call Parentline NSW 1300-1300-52 or 1800-654-432 (Freecall STD) Kids Helpline 1800-55-1800 is a free 24 hour telephone couselling service. NAPCAN is an independent charity and the leading advocacy body for prevention of child abuse and neglect.
Daddy’s Home!
HYPER, TIRED, FUSSY, CRANKY, ITCHY, SNOTTY?
Interview with a stay-at-home dad
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s the debate rages on nationally regulated maternity leave, many workplaces are paving the way with more flexible work arrangements and leave options.
“Having that daily interaction is something you just can’t make up for in any other way.” A new focus on work/life balance and more accepting attitudes mean that many parents, men and women alike, are being offered opportunities to spend more time with their families. Simon Rogers is a business transformation manager for a major financial corporation who took advantage of his leave entitlement to be a stay-at-home dad for 16 month old Milly. He was kind enough to talk to us and share his experiences. What prompted you to take leave to stay at home with your daughter? My company offers three months’ paid parental leave, and an additional 21 months unpaid leave, to all employees, male or female, as long as they are the primary carer and the child is under two years of age. When my wife started up a business in mid-2009, we started thinking about how we’d balance her work needs and the needs of our daughter. Because we didn’t want to put her into care just yet, I decided to take advantage of the leave that was on offer and take three months off to spend time at home with Milly. What sort of reaction did you get from your colleagues? I think a couple of people thought I was just lazy and wanted a holiday! But most of the people I work with were supportive. Most importantly, my boss was really supportive. He has a young family of his own and he knows how valuable time with your children is. He was really encouraging of me to take the leave, which made me feel confident about my decision. I was concerned about people’s perceptions but the people who know me know that I am hard-working and they understand my reasons for taking leave. As most parents know, looking after a toddler full-time is hardly a holiday!
Help is here. What were your fears before you went on leave? I did worry a bit about doing enough during the days to engage Milly, to help her develop and have fun. I wasn’t sure I would always know what to do when we were playing together. But it’s been fine. We have some favourite games that we like to play and we go to the playground nearly every day. I guess I’ve found it more of a natural process than I thought it would be.
At Healthy Life Coffs Harbour, the people who serve you are highly trained Naturopaths and Nutritionists. They will help you find the right answers to the health care problems of babies and young children ... naturally.
What have you found difficult? Training Milly to be a golf caddy! No seriously, apart from struggling with my colour blindness when dressing her each day, which I have overcome by texting a photo of the outfit to my wife, I haven’t really found anything difficult. I’ve really enjoyed it. Was there anything that surprised you?
Naturally, we have the answers. Palms Centre, Coffs Harbour (next to Coles) 02 6652 2993 www.healthylife.net.au
I did wonder whether I would get bored. And I guess some of it is boring, but I’ve been surprised at how much you can fit into a day. We have a lot of close friends that are off work at the moment Healthy-Life-1x2.indd 1 27/09/2009 with their babies, so I have that social contact. And there are lots of activities I do with Milly, like swimming and going to the library. One surprising thing was Early Learning Adventures how welcoming and friendly my wife’s mothers group were to me. It was sort Kindergarten Readiness of a joke at first that I was going to go to mothers group, but I have every week Program and it’s been great. What have you enjoyed the most about being at home with Milly? Not having to go into the office every day is great. But most importantly, forming a stronger bond with Milly and watching her grow and develop. She’s at an amazing age and does new things every day. Having that daily interaction is something you just can’t make up for in any other way. It’s really priceless. [SJR]
This program assists children in the last year before school in areas of phonemic awareness, reading skills, language development, writing ability and listening skills. 1 Hour per Week
Phone 6652 2222 62 Bray St, Coffs Harbour essential child
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www.charlipopkidsworld.com.au A designer kids clothing boutique bursting with colour and affordable prices
nowinopen
COFFS HARBOUR Unit 1-2, 26-28 Orlando St, Jetty Business Centre Coffs Harbour NSW 10-4 Mon-Fri ph 02 6651 9621 24/7 online shopping
*coming soon
Is yours a Charlipop’s Kid? Photos by Amanda Keeys Photography www.amandakeeysphotography.com, Krickets & Run Scotty Run.