The Express Tribune hi five - June 3

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

Hi light

2

Ant-

Tastic!

Hello puny human! Long have you considered us ants as mere pests, scurrying around, stealing your food and hiding in your walls. Most of you probably don’t even pay attention to us but soon our time will come!

We are not some common insects, there are more than 22,000 different ant species in the world and that’s only the ones you humans know about. Like you, we live in structured cities but ours are located underground or in trees. You have this confusing system of presidents and prime ministers, but we are led by an awesome queen. While you run around confused, we know exactly what we’re doing... down to the last worker ant!

Now you might be thinking, “Hey, no big deal, I’ll just step on them, they’re just ants!” But you are mistaken. What if I told you that there are more ants on this planet than humans? Our brothers, the Argentinean ants have the biggest ant colony in the world. How big? Well, their ant colony spans four continents, the Americas, Europe, Australia and Asia. Your human scientists call this a global mega-colony and estimate that it’s comprised of

over 22 million anthills, each teeming with more than 10,000 ants. That’s more than 200 billion ants, by the way. Remember that there are only 7 billion of you guys.

How did Argentinean ants spread all over the world? Well it’s all thanks to you humans. Years and years ago we sneaked aboard your boats when you shipped sugar and coffee to the rest of the world. We even left a scent trail so that others knew where to follow. If you think that we owe you our thanks, you are mistaken. Did you know that our brothers, the fire ants, can make rafts out of themselves! When there are floods, fire ants all join hands and lock together to become a huge boat of bugs that floats away on the rising floodwaters. The queen and all the eggs stay safe and dry on top and the fire ants in the water remain safe due to air bubbles they keep trapped in their arms.

You might be thinking, “So what if there are so many ants? Ants are stupid right?” Wrong! We’re way smarter than you, and always have been!

While you hairless apes developed agriculture roughly 10,000 years ago, ants have been growing

stuff for millions of years. Not all of us have this magnificent ability, though. Only a special kind of ant benefits from the knowledge of crops, and it is known as the fungus-growing ant.

Fungus-growing ants, obviously grow fungus, which is then cut and fed to the rest of the colony.

And believe me, it’s way yummier than fries! So we can grow fungus? Big deal, you say? Did you know that we also have our own farm animals?

That’s right, we herd other smaller insects called aphids like cattle. Aphids spend their entire lives eating sugary fluids inside plants, and then they poop out a substance called honeydew which we ants find yummy! We even have guards to protect the aphids from those who would steal the poop, which is even yummier than fungus. Death to all poop-stealers!

There’s more: while you foolishly depend on telephones and the Internet, we have a complex and hi-tech system of communication and we don’t even need electricity for it! Our system utilises chemical ‘smells’ called pheromones. We have different pheromones for dates, alarms and food locations. We ants emit alarm pheromones from a gland in our mouth if something disturbs the nest.

It’s a cue for other ants to grab their larvae and run to safety. Likewise, if our food provisions are

being attacked, we leave mapping trails for our fellow ants to follow.

Ants are also experts at war! Human war tactics were invented in the 6th century BC by Sun Tzu, a Chinese strategist. He thought that positioning and movement were the most important of all war tactics. His book, The Art of War, changed the way you humans fought but sadly you were too late. Ants already have their own version of tactics. Unlike other animals, which generally attack the same way on each type of prey, ants will change their positions before the battle and their movement during the battle.

There is even one type of ant which changes its tactics according to the situation. If they are attacking small and weak black ants, they will surround the nest and plunge in simultaneously.

However, if they plan on attacking larger and stronger ants, they will do a powerful, head-on strike, with some of the horde attacking and the rest defending their own nest from counterattacks.

If you think that was interesting then wait till you hear about our super soldiers. Army ants are huge ants reaching a half inch in length. They’re called ‘Army’ ants because their entire colony, comprising up to and over one million insects, is a

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

Hi light

3 100 per cent mobile battalion. They don’t make permanent hives like other ants, no, they camp out in single locations just long enough for the queen to lay eggs, while the soldiers search for food. After the eggs are laid, the army carefully pick up their larvae and go on the move, moving steadily and swiftly along the jungle floor, killing every living thing that comes in their way. You might have even heard of reports of animals the size of horses being overwhelmed and shredded by army ants. Be afraid human, be very afraid.

Army ants are vicious but they are extremely smart too, they will use their bodies to build any conceivable structure necessary, like protective walls and ceilings to protect them from the weather and even bridges. There is no other living thing in the entire world that does this.

Oh, and they’re also blind — but that doesn’t bother them!

But even the Army ants must cower before the awesome power of the SUICIDE BOMB POISON ANTS!! Our Malaysian brothers have glands full of poison, and when they’re really mad they can

inflate those glands and then make them explode! They explode with such force that they completely blow off their own heads, spraying poison in all directions. So when predators intrude, these ants wait until they’re within the blast radius and...

Boom!

Plus we’re really strong. Don’t laugh — we can pick up 50 times our own body weight. Can you do that? Go ahead and try to pick up three Giraffes, I dare you!

So...we’re strong, smart, have strength in numbers but that’s not all...we’re also REALLY mean!

We have been known to attack other ant species, killing all the adults and taking their children as slaves. When these youngsters grow up, they become the servants of the enslaving queen and take over the jobs of maintaining the colony and caring for its larvae even though they are from another species. They even take part in raids themselves. And we don’t just rely on might. Ants can be devious — during the chaos of the raid, a young queen may infiltrate the target colony, kill the queen and ‘impersonate’ the dead

queen. The unsuspecting citizens end up caring for the new brood of masters that the queen hatches and unknowingly raise their own enemies!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Then we also have special commandoes — Allomerus decemarticulatus (say that five times fast). A species of ant in the Amazon can create traps to catch other insects. As soon as a bug steps into their trap, ants will begin grabbing its limbs and pulling them in opposite directions as they sting it to death. There are also a species of “gliding” ants known as Cephalotes atratus that leap from trees and actually parachute down.

Now we’ve given you plenty of reasons to be afraid of us: We’re smart, resourceful, we can adapt, we’re ruthlessly patriotic to the ant cause and there are billions of us. You must be wondering why we haven’t attacked you yet.

Honestly? The only reason we aren’t challenging you for ownership of the planet is because it already belongs to us, and it has for a very long time. Goodbye human, and thanks for all the food.

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

Activity Corner

4 Pitthu Garam A simple game that lets you hit your friends and run for your life!

: d e d e e Supplies n • Seven flat disc stones or any object that has a bit of weight (but nothing sharp or dangerous) • Even number of children to be divided in two teams • A soft rubber ball • Open space to run in Directions: • Pile up seven stones with the largest at the bottom and the smallest on top making a small tower. This pile is called pitthu and is placed in the centre of the playground.

• Divide in two teams — one team is the striker and the other is called the fielder team. The captains of both the teams stand facing each other at a distance of 10 to 15 feet, and the ball being placed between them.

Respective team members line up behind the team captain. The game is ready to start now.

• The captain of the striker team tries to hit the stone tower with the ball with a direct hit.

• If the ball does not hit the stones and is caught by any of the opposite team member after a single bounce, the captain is marked out of the game and has to sit outside the field.

• Each member of the striker team gets a chance to hit the ball till all members are out, then the opposite team gets to be the e striker team.

• If the ball hits the pitthu, the game begins • Once the stones are scattered on the ground, the task of the striker team is to fix the pitthu without getting hit by the ball.

The fielder team tries their best to stop the opposing team from building the pitthu.

• If the team succeeds in making the pitthu first, then that team m gets a point. The team that makes more pitthus is the winner.

• The striker team can also accumulate points (you can decide how many) to call a member of their team from the outside, iff anyone was sent out. Once all the members of the striker team m are out, then the opposite team gets a chance to be the strikerr and the game starts again.

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

World wide weird Get your weekly dose of the unusual and funny from across the globe!

Transformers, roll out!

Tired of the typical rollercoaster rides at Funland? Head off to the Universal Studios in Hollywood which has unveiled its newest attraction, “Transformers: The Ride-3D,” based on the blockbuster films and toys that the theme park’s operators called their best ride yet.

The ride takes people by car through a futuristic city under siege by evil and immersed in combat between heroic shape-shifting characters, the Autobots, and their nemeses, the Decepticons. Rather than serve as witness to the conflict, guests are made to feel like characters in the battle, enlisted alongside the Autobots to save the world.

“We think this is the best ride that we’ve ever created,” Steve Burke, President and CEO of NBC Universal told Reuters. “It’s got a lot of different aspects to it that you literally couldn’t do as recently as ten years ago,” he adds.

Autobots and Decepticons battle all around the cars as sensory stimulators unleash the heat of explosions, spit of the robots and quake of gears and exploding bombs.

The attraction also features the original voice work of actors Peter Cullen and Frank Welker, who voiced the robotic characters in three hit Transformers movies that took in over $2.6 billion, combined, at worldwide box offices. SOURCE: REUTERS.COM

The boy who is eating his bedroom!

For most of us snack time means munching on crisps, cookies or chocolate bars but for little Zach Tahir, it means munching his way through his bedroom — he eats everything from bedding to blinds. The five-year-old, who is autistic and cannot speak, has a rare condition which h means he cannot tell the difference between food and inedible objects. His constant need to chew means he tries to eat absolutely everything, from his school shoes to the plaster on the walls.

Mum Rachel, 32, said that Zach had eaten so much of his blinds she’d have to buy new ones as it no longer covered the window at their home. Rachel said: “Zach has pica disorder which means he will eat almost anything. He usually has about four hours sleep at night but it does vary, the rest of the time he’s making sounds and bouncing on the spot and eating anything in his room that he can get his hands on!”

She also told the Manchester Evening News: “He loves to climb on his windowsill and eat his black-out blind. He likes to have something to chew all the time — normally a wet cloth.”

Zach’s other favourite nibbles include paper, clothes, plaster, thread, mud, moss, stones and hair. SOURCE: THESUN.CO.UK

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Frankenfish!

The indelible Hulk It’s not easy being green — as one Brazilian man proved when he painted himself to look like the Incredible Hulk — and found the colour wouldn’t wash off!

Pool attendant Paulo Henrique dos Santos, from Vila Cruzeiro, dressed up as the comic book hero for a running event, but got a nasty shock when the time came to remove the green paint.

After frantic scrubbing, the unfortunate chap realised he’d used a paint reserved for ballistic missiles and nuclear submarines.

Desperate to undo his inking, the would-be superhero spent two days having ‘about 20 baths,’ and was forced to sleep in a room lined with plastic bags. He feared the industrial paint could actually give him lead poisoning, though he appears to have had no symptoms.

It was only after being scrubbed by a gang of friends and neighbours for 24 hours that Paulo finally removed the stubborn staining. So was he left feeling blue? Amazingly, Paulo says he doesn’t regret the incident. SOURCE: DAILYMAIL.CO.UK

A routine fishing trip ended up in a bizarre catch when Mark Sawyer, 53, hooked an odd-looking specimen, which he initially thought was a common brown goldfish. But on closer inspection he found it appeared to have the head of a roach, a fish native to Europe, the body and tail of a brown goldfish and the rear fin of another fish known as a bream.

Mr Sawyer photographed it before throwing it back into Magpie Lake in Cambridge. He said: “I have shown the picture to a number of marine scientists who say it is definitely the result of mixed parentage. “I have caught thousands and thousands of fish but have never seen anything like it before. It is a proper oddity,” said Sawyer.

Dr Paul Garner, a fisheries ecologist, described the fish as truly one-off and said: “I have never seen one in the UK before. It must be at least a one-in-amillion fish and the odds of actually catching it are even greater than that.

He added one of its parents is likely to have been a fan-tailed goldfish that had been kept in a garden pond and released into a waterway.

SOURCE: TELEGRAPH.CO.UK

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

Did you know?

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s n i g i r O Word Raining Cats and Dogs Everybody knows that the idiom “it is raining cats and dogs” is used to describe an especially heavy rain. Well no one really knows where it originated from and it is not necessarily related to the actual raining animals. One explanation claims that in 16th-century Europe when peasant homes were commonly thatched, animals could crawl into the thatch and find shelter from the elements and would fall out during heavy rain. However, there seems to be no proof in support of this theory. heory.

There may not be a logical explanation; the phrase may have been used just for its nonsensical humour value, like other equivalent English expressions (“it is raining pitchforks”, “hammer handles”, etc.).

Crazy laws!

In South Dakota, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

In St. Louis, Missouri, if a woman is in her night clothes, it is illegal for a fireman to rescue her.

In Victoria, Australia, you need a licensed electrician to change a light bulb.

In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be sentenced to death by firing squad.

In Providence, Rhode Island, selling tooth paste and a tooth brush to the same customer on a Sunday is illegal.

In Singapore chewing gum is illegal.

Cool facts The following can be read forward and backwards: Do geese see God? A baby octopus is about the size of a flea when it is born.

A sheep, a duck and a rooster were the first passengers in a hot air balloon.

Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.

About 8,000 Americans are injured by musical instruments each year.

The French language has seventeen different words for ‘surrender’.

In Arizona, hunting camels is against the law.

Nearly three percent of the ice in Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine.

In North Carolina, it is illegal to swear in front of dead people.

A crocodile can’t poke its tongue out.

In Iowa, it is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.

Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift away from each other.

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

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Fun & games

Want to be hi five’s artist of the week?

Send your drawing with your name and age to: hifive@tribune. com.pk

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JUNE 3, 2012

Help the ants get to the other side

SOURCE: CUSTOMERSROCK.FILES.WORDPRESS.COM

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