The Express Tribune - february 27

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Gwadar : An UnfulямБlled Dream 16

Losing The Future 22

The Lone Gunman 34 THE HATER

REVIEWS

HOROSCOPE

PEOPLE

TRAVEL

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Cover Story 16 Gwadar: An Unfulfilled Dream A golden oasis lies vacant 22 Losing the Future As teachers flee Balochistan, an entire generation is imperilled 26 City of Hope Swapping barracks for books in Sui Education City

Portfolio 28 Faded Glory Glimpses of everyday life in an extraordinary way

28

Washington Diary 34 The Lone Gunman Meet America’s ‘toughest’ sheriff

Fired Up With Frieha

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38 Age Ain’t Nothin’ But a Number Love, selfishness, subtle agendas — isn’t it all the same thing?

Humour 40 Horror Scope What’s written in the stars isn’t always as it seems

Regulars 6 People & Parties: Out and about with Pakistan’s beautiful people 14 Tribune Questionnaire: Adil Sher on politics 44 Reviews: What’s new in films and books 48 Horoscope: Shelley von Strunckel on your week ahead 50 Ten Things I Hate About: World Cup fever

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4

Editor: Zarrar Khuhro. Sub-Editors: Batool Zehra, Hamna Zubair Creative Team: Amna Iqbal, Jamal Khurshid, Essa Malik, Anam Haleem, Tariq Alvi, S Asif Ali, Samad Siddiqui, Sukayna Sadik Publisher: Bilal A Lakhani. Executive Editor: Muhammad Ziauddin. Editor: Kamal Siddiqi.

For feedback and submissions: magazine@tribune.com.pk

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Sania Mastakiya’s launch

ir and Fathma Aam am Im n ai Zur

Aamna Haider Isani

Asma Yusuf with Nazish Hussain

y Haq Ayesha Tamm r tta Sa hr with Se

6 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

y

Adnan Pardes

Fauzia Hanif and Farooza Tabba

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Sara Taher Khan

Ayesha Ashraf

Maryam with Mahnaz

Sohail with Sharmeen Madiha, Asma and Nazish

8 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Sara, Fariha and Maleeha

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Meat One’s launch

M Yousuf, amran Inzimam, K

Adnan Siddiqui

Ijaz Aslam

Junaid Jamshed

12 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Bushra Ansari

Nasreen, Saima, Rehana

‘Imagining Cities’ in Karachi

Mohsin and Daniyal Ali Khan

Tapu Javeri

Saher and Seema Tariq Khan

Nadya Mistry and John Amin Gulgee and Batul Mooraj

Mehr Ali,TU Dawood and Sheherbano Hussain

13 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

“I don’t hold onto anything besides my family and friends” Award-winning director and managing partner at Talking Filmain Adil Sher on politicians, cricket and learning to love himself.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Which talent would you most like to have?

Living a healthy life.

I would love to learn how to play the guitar.

What is your greatest fear?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Failure.

Dyslexia.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I am very lazy.

The founding of Talking Filmain in 2005 and the fact that it’s still

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Hypocrisy.

What is your greatest extravagance?

A ring I bought for my wife.

What is your current state of mind?

Hopeful.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Chastity!

On what occasion do you lie?

When I want to protect someone dear to me.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I have made peace with myself now.

Which living person do you most despise?

It’s a long list… a lot of our politicians, to be precise.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

going strong.

Where would you most like to live?

New York.

What is your most treasured possession?

I don’t hold onto anything except my family and friends.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Vulnerability.

If you didn’t do your current job, what would you choose to do?

I’d like to be a cricketer.

What is your most marked characteristic?

That is for you to decide!

Who is your hero of fiction?

Al Pacino.

Who are your heroes in real life?

My mother.

Generosity.

What is your greatest regret?

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

she passed away in 1993.

Honesty.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Naheen yaar!

I wish I could have spent more time with my grandmother, but

What’s your favourite quote?

“All aspects are within us but those who act kingly are the kings.” a

When and where were you happiest?

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I can’t pick one occasion … I’m a very lucky man!

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

COVER STORY

gwadar: an unfulfilled dream

BY MOIGN KHAWAJA

PHOTOGRAPHS: AKBAR HUSSAIN AND MOIGN KHAWAJA

It was meant to be the city where dreams came true, a golden oasis in the barren landscape of Balochistan, but nine years after the Gwadar deep-sea port project was inaugurated, has the dream gone sour?

COVER STORY My trip to the ‘dream city’ of Gwadar is preceded by a reality check: “The situation here is volatile,” warns my friend, “Baloch political activists routinely disappear and are killed.”

But that does nothing to deter me. Balochistan is a province with rich deposits of oil, gas, gold, copper and rare earth metals and Gwadar, one of its largest cities, is the hub that crystallises its potential. Despite the constant barrage of bad news from the province — “militants blow up gas pipeline” is now a staple news

In New Town and Sangar — the city’s prime housing estates —land lay idle with little or no construction going on. Some government projects were being worked on at a snail’s pace. Wealthy buyers keep this land as an investment while many of the mid-level buyers have sold it cheaply in order to recover their money. Everyone, it seems, lacks trust in the government.

item — Gwadar still conjures up images of pristine beaches and rugged mountains and evokes the same mood of optimism that was generated eight years ago when the development of the port city first begun.

The Gwadar deep-sea port project was announced in 2002, when former Pakistani president General Pervez Musharraf promised to transform Balochistan’s destiny by an equitable distribution of resources. Inaugurating it in March 2007, the autocratic leader not only ensured the timely completion of the mega project, he also got the Chinese government to finance and execute the development of the port’s facilities. So far, an estimated Rs5 billion ($264 million) have been poured into the project for the construction of three multi-purpose berths with a capacity to handle ships of up to 50,000 deadweight tonnage (DWT).

But when I visit the port, I see the cranes lying idle and deserted. A port official informs me that the cargo handling cranes received a large fertiliser shipment some five months. Nothing much has moved since.

Instead, the harbour has become a hub of oil smuggling thanks to the absence of regulated petroleum products in the city. Launches from Iran arrive at the harbour loaded with cheap petrol and diesel. The cheap Iranian oil provides livelihoods to thousands of people who fetch the shipments from the Iranian border and dispatch it to other parts of Balochistan.

This inferior oil’s popularity is soaring thanks to increasing petroleum prices in Pakistan. According to Wasim (not his real name), an oil smuggler, the Pakistani Coast Guard, Pakistan Customs, Levies and other border control agencies are in on the game. “All a smuggler needs to do is to grease the palms of the ‘law-enforcement’ officers to get their shipments smuggled anywhere without hassle,” he claimed, pointing out large yellow petroleum cans that were being off-loaded from a launch.

Most of the locals in the area are fishermen, but they face a two-pronged challenge: first, they have to deal with the smugglers who pollute the water by plying oil in their launches, and secondly they have to deal with poachers who trawl illegally in Pakistan’s maritime waters, denying local fishermen their catch. “Local fishermen are suffering terribly... illegal foreign launches trawl in our water and snatch away their livelihood,” says Qambar Nisar, a fisheries department officer. “We don’t

18 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

have the means to defend our coast. Sometimes we carry fake weapons and limited fuel to ward off attacks by well-equipped invaders. We fear for our lives.”

The mega development of Gwadar offered mega dreams on sale. Not long after the deep-sea port project was announced, the property market boomed with Gwadar’s prime land up for grabs.

Locals sold their land at throwaway prices to real estate developers who rebranded the estates and sold them to investors from other provinces at many times the original price. The elite lined up to purchase acres of residential and commercial land in what was touted as ‘Pakistan’s future Dubai’.

The property bubble burst when Baloch leader Akbar Bugti was killed in his hideout in the hills of Dera Bugti in 2006. Strikes erupted across the region, and law and order (the writ of the state) in the province collapsed, with enraged political activists joining the insurgents and staging attacks on the security apparatus in the province.

“I used to have a booming property business but it is all gone now. Investors withdrew their capital and fled the market,” says Qambar Nisar who now works for Gwadar Fisheries. “Every other day we hear about the disappearance of young Baloch activists.

Their mutilated bodies are later discovered in isolated places,” he laments the worsening situation. “Sometimes Baloch towns and cities remain closed for three days in mourning. How can we do

port of call The cranes lie idle and deserted.

A large fertiliser shipment came five months ago and nothing much has moved since. Instead, the harbour has become a hub of oil smuggling thanks to the absence of regulated petroleum products

business in this situation?”

In New Town and Sangar — the city’s prime housing estates —land lay idle with little or no construction going on. Some government projects were being worked on at a snail’s pace. Wealthy buyers keep this land as an investment while many of the mid-

19 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

COVER STORY level buyers have sold it cheaply in order to recover their money.

Everyone, it seems, lacks trust in the government.

Gwadar does have a -star hotel for those who fancy a luxury vacation but it closed recently because of deteriorating law and order. Brand new dual carriageways, a hospital, a college, courts, and residential complexes have been built but are yet to be operational. The Gwadar Development Authority has overseen the development of the new city since 2003, but has not touched the old city since it had not been given the mandate to uplift old Gwadar.

As a result, the city’s main Airport Road lies in ruins. The Federal Government in Islamabad decides the city’s fate and releases the funds ‘when and where needed’.

Meanwhile, locals no longer trust policy makers. After selling their land cheaply, they are concerned that the changing demographics will make them an ethnic minority in their own province. The port construction projects did not generate employment for the local Balochs who, despite lacking the technical

setting sun Gwadar, a land of pristine beaches and rugged mountains, has become a hub of political unrest

skills and experience, were determined to become the backbone of development.

However, the contractors preferred the cheaper and bettertrained labour from other parts of the country. The denial of jobs to the locals, as a result, generated frustration and fanned the flames of ethnic conflict.

“The people living in Gwadar are genuinely concerned about the demographic shift after the development of the port. They fear the port city’s massive growth will sideline them and they’ll lose their houses, lands and livelihood,” says Shey Mansoor, an official at the Gwadar Development Authority.

It wasn’t always so. When Gwadar was incorporated into Pak-

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istan in September 1958, with the Sultan of Oman ceding conFEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

trol to General Ayub Khan, the local population welcomed the change. “I was a child at the time but I remember how Gwadar’s people celebrated when the peninsula joined the rest of Balochistan and Pakistan,” says Khuda Bukhsh, a former local government officer. “Back then we were happy to be part of Pakistan and believed things would change. Not a lot has changed for the better though. Yesterday we were happy to be part of you and today we’re unhappy. Something must have gone wrong in between, don’t you think?” he quizzes.

This resentment is born of a feeling of exploitation that resonates from the shores of Arabian Sea in the south to the Chagai Hills in the north. Most Baloch people are of the view that the province has almost become a colony for the rest of Pakistan providing gas, oil, copper, uranium, gold, coal and other minerals but receiving next to nothing in return. Sui gas field accounts for at least a third of Pakistan’s total gas production but many of Balochistan’s own towns and cities, including Gwadar, lack gas supply through pipelines. In contrast, most cities in Punjab, Sindh and Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa receive gas through pipelines that power industries and houses. “I don’t care if there is a gas shortage in parts of Pakistan, because we produce the gas and yet we do not have it,” says Jalil Dashti, a young business studies graduate.

Not a single day passes without news of bullet-riddled bodies of Baloch activists found in isolated places of Balochistan or a gaspipeline blown up by so-called ‘miscreants’. Rag-tag Baloch rebels claim responsibility for the attacks and blame the Pakistani government for exploiting the region’s resources and enriching other parts of the country, especially Punjab, at Balochistan’s

the call of the sea Fishing boats lay anchored in Gwadar port. Local fishermen face a host of problems, including illegal over-fishing by foreign trawlers

expense. Islamabad, in response, says these people are Indiansponsored agents bent on undermining the writ of the Islamic Republic.

Gwadar has become a hub of political activities for many Baloch nationalist parties which advocate the idea of an ‘indepen- >> Age of Empire dent Balochistan’ that develops its own resources and spends the One of the first mentions of Gwaincome generated only on its citizens. Some political parties also dar in history was when Mohamdemand provincial autonomy under the 1973 constitution, which med bin Qasim captured it in 711 ensures complete rights over the resources of the region. Activ- AD. The city came under the conists from Baloch nationalist parties face abductions, imprison- trol of different empires including ment, torture and extra-judicial killings on a routine basis. Nor the Moghuls and Safavids. Locals are the insurgents forgiving of those who defy their dictates, say the Portuguese captured routinely shooting down those who oppose their agenda. Caught and burnt down the city in 1581, between the insurgents and the state, the Baloch people seem to after a fierce battle with the local be running out of options.

tribes. Gwadar became part of the

Despite all the damage and destruction, there remains a Sultanate of Muscat in 1783 when glimmer of hope: if this exploitation is stopped, peace and rec- the Khan of Kalat granted it to a onciliation are still possible. Otherwise, we just need to open deposed Omani king. In 1958 it our history book, turn a few pages and read what happened 40 was incorporated into Pakistan. years ago when Pakistan faced a similar situation in its eastern wing…

a

21 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

COVER STORY

losing the

future If education is the key to the future, then the exodus of teachers from Balochistan spells disaster for the youth of the province.

BY SHEHZAD BALOCH

22 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

In April 2010 the target killing of a prominent professor at Balochistan University, Nazima Talib, sent shockwaves through Pakistani society.

Although this was the first time a high-profile woman teaching at university had been specifically targeted, it had already become fairly common for teachers and professors to be killed in Balochistan.

People associated with the education sector in Balochistan began to be targeted in 2008, during which year five teachers were killed and two injured. In 2009, four teachers were gunned down and one was injured, and in 2010, five teachers were shot dead and five were critically injured in targeted assaults.

23 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

COVER STORY Terrorising the teachers

and the deaths of Safdar Kayani and Anwar Baig. The Balochistan

Target killings like these have severely damaged the province’s edu-

Liberation United Front (BLUF) claimed responsibility for the mur-

cation sector, as teachers that are not of Baloch descent have began

der of former Education Minister Shafiq Ahmed Khan.

to feel increasing unsafe in Baloch-dominated areas. According to

On the flip side, some Baloch believe that these target killings

an official in the education department, as many as 14 teachers

are being attributed to nationalist movements in order to give

sought a transfer from the Balochistan Residential College Khuzdar

the Baloch a bad name. Highlighting this schism, Provincial

after Vice Principal Khalid Mahmood was killed in 2009.

President of the Government Teachers Association Mohammad

“Barring a few teachers in Lasbela District, most teachers, in-

Nawaz says that many schools in Balochistan don’t hoist the

cluding those from parts of Quetta, are fleeing to safer places,” says

national flag or even play the national anthem: “Baloch people

a government teacher who wishes to remain anonymous. A gen-

are not against education. If they were against education, we

eration of students has been affected by the weakened education

wouldn’t have any schools here. People have this attitude be-

system. “Baloch youth are the victims of this ongoing uncertainty,”

cause of political reasons,” Mohammad Nawaz explains.

he says.

had gunned down the principal of Pilot School in Mastung dis-

at least 30 to 35 teachers, most of whom hold PhDs and are Associ-

trict, some 50 kilometres away from Quetta, and handed the

ate Professors and Assistant Professors, have sought transfers and

killer over to the police. Even though the killer had been caught

early retirement due to target killings. “The main reason [for their

red-handed, according to Nawaz, the police took no action

request for transfers] is target killing. This forces qualified teachers

against him. “We saw the killer again with our own eyes, stroll-

to get themselves transferred to safer places,” he says.

ing around and carrying out another deadly attack in the same

The UoB faces a shortfall of 100 lecturers, a gap which is being

area,” he alleges. “[These killings] are state sponsored. I believe

filled by fluctuating visiting lecturers. As a result, the standard of

that some officials are backing target killings of teachers in Ba-

academics at has been badly affected. “How can a visiting lecturer

loch-dominated areas to give Baloch society bad name.”

impart quality education? It will take years to overcome this crisis,” he says.

This sentiment is echoed by the students themselves, who feel disconnected with the rest of Pakistani society. “The media talks

The education department, however, is reluctant to put a num-

about teachers being killed in targeted attacks but is unwilling to

ber on the teachers transferring out of volatile areas. “There is no

focus on the constitutional rights of Baloch people,” says 24-year-

doubt that the education sector in Baloch-populated areas has been

old Saqib Ali, who studies at The University of Balochistan.

affected because of target killings,” says Education Minister Tahir

Similarly, Balochistan’s political leadership is also dissatisfied

Mahmood Khan. But he adds that by the recruitment of 5,000

with its lot. Senior Vice-President of the National Party, Senator

teachers under the Aghaz-e-Huqooq Balochistan package the short-

Hasil Bizenjo, says that the government does not prioritise edu-

fall of teachers has already been overcome. He says that since only

cation in Balochistan: “All appointments take place on a political

Baloch teachers are appointed in Baloch districts now, this allevi-

basis. I have never seen any government take the education sec-

ates the problem.

tor in Balochistan seriously.”

In 2009, the education minister’s brother, former Education Minister Shafiq Ahmed Khan, was also killed in a targeted attack –

Too little, too late

prompting some to say that this is why Tahir Mahmood Khan shies

Bizenjo doubts that establishing a few education cities would

away from discussing the issue.

solve the problem. “The Pakistan Army and Frontier Corps have

The great divide

set up some schools and colleges but this will not necessarily help to improve the literacy rate or impart quality education. These

But a dearth of teachers is not the only problem target killing has

steps are only symbolic or cosmetic, and aim to polish up the im-

created — it has also laid the deep rifts in Baloch society bare.

age of the government and its agencies,” he says.

By and large, the assassination of teachers has been attribut-

Despite the worsening situation in the province, no concrete

ed to Baloch nationalist groups. Some of these groups have also

steps have been taken to address the Baloch people’s grievances.

claimed responsibility for attacks on teachers: the media report-

Home Secretary Akbar Durrani seems to be in deep denial when

ed that the Balochistan Liberation Army claimed (BLA) responsi-

he says that the situation is slowly returning to ‘normal’. “The

bility for Nazima Talib’s death, saying the killing was meant to

government has almost overcome the menace of target killings.

avenge the death of two Baloch women in Quetta and Pasni, and

No incident of targeted killing has been reported since last June,”

the torture of female political workers in Mand and Tump.

says the home secretary. Meanwhile, teachers continue to leave

The BLA also claimed responsibility for the assassination of Fazal

24

Nawaz claims that in 2009 some people arrested a man who

According to an official at The University of Balochistan (UoB),

Bari, the principal of Tameer-e-Nau High school in Quetta, in 2010, FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

the province, and the future of the Baloch youth becomes bleaker as the exodus continues. a

looking ahead These smiling school children won’t have access to teachers if steps aren’t taken to preserve education in Balochistan

25 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

COVER STORY COVER STORY TO ORY The first thing I saw when I arrived in Sui was a large billboard with an image of a child splashed across it. The child was wearing a traditional Baloch outfit and turban. The photograph stood out because the bullet belt strapped across the child’s waist was studded with colour pencils, not bullets.

Was this indicative of a changing attitude?

I was in Balochistan with a group of journalists — we had all been invited by the Pakistan Army to visit a ‘city dedicated to imparting quality education to Baloch natives’. An approximately two-hour long flight in a military helicopter took us from Khalid airbase in Quetta to Sui in Balochistan’s Dera Bugti district.

The Pakistan Army claims that it understands the power and importance of education, and so it has abandoned a newly constructed and controversial cantonment in Sui, using the land to construct an ‘education city’ instead. Cantonments have been a touchy topic in Balochistan, with many locals condemning them as symbols of occupation. The Balochistan Assembly had previ-

city of

hope Is Sui’s education city part of the solution in Balochistan?

BY SABIN AGHA

ously adopted a resolution opposing the construction of more cantonments in the province.

Addressing the inauguration ceremony of this education city and Military College at Sui, Chief of the Army Staff General Ashfaq Pervez Kayani said the move to convert the Sui Cantonment into an education city is in line with the federal government’s Balochistan Package and the aspirations of people who had staunch reservations about the military cantonments in Balochistan. The general also promised to recruit 10,000 Baloch youth in the army to address the Baloch people’s grievances. His speech was met with resounding applause from the listeners.

In this way, the army gave us the impression that all was well in Dera Bugti; that after facing tough resistance from who they termed insurgents, peace now reigned in the late Nawab Akbar Bugti’s stronghold. But locals were not as sanguine. Many Baloch I met in Quetta and Sui believed that repeated military operations, the broader issue of autonomy and the continuous denial of their rights to the natural resources of the province had done too much damage to be repaired so soon.

These are not baseless claims: while the commercial exploitation of natural gas at Sui began in 1954 and its fruits were first

ab Akbar Bugti have deeply scarred the Baloch, who feel the government and intelligence agencies are working against them.

enjoyed by the Punjab, it took almost thirty years for the proj-

Conversely, the army and the administration appears to be-

ect’s benefits to trickle down to Balochistan. Natural gas reached

lieve that external forces like India, Israel and Iran are solely re-

Quetta only in 1984 and 1985.

sponsible for fueling Balochistan’s insurgency. The army is of the

Uneven inter-provincial royalty rates on natural gas (favouring

view that only seven per cent of the population in four parts of

Punjab and Sindh) and the contentious resource distribution for-

the province, that is, Kharan, Punjgur, Turbat and Gwadar are

mula under the National Finance Commission were some valid

responsible for the unrest. The rest of the population comprising

complaints. However, the introduction of the 18th Amendment

Baloch, Pushtuns, and Brahvis are loyal and peaceful people, in

aims to resolve some of these issues with greater provincial au-

their opinion.

tonomy and enhanced shares under the NFC. Yet the legacy of General Pervez Musharraf and the death of Naw-

26 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

But what the army didn’t seem to understand is that unrest in Balochistan is not just a numbers game. You can’t simply divide

A local Bugti tribal had an interesting yet ironic answer to this question: “Madam, if the army had not established an education city here, this place would have turn into a stable.”

And therein lies the rub. Every government in the center has used the same strategy to ‘handle’ Balochistan: they empower the Nawabs and Sardars by offering them high profile government positions. The common Baloch is ignored and left at their not-so-tender mercies, which has aggravated the situation.

While the scions of these sardars and nawabs comfortably studied in elite educational institutions abroad, the common baloch were deliberately plunged into the darkness of illiteracy. Without addressing the flaws in this approach the problems of Balochistan will remain unsolvable.

There is also a deep nationalist resentment against what is largely perceived by common Baloch as the weakness of civil administration. During my visit to Sui, an army official very candidly responded to my question of how much power the commander of the southern command in Balochistan possesses: “he can actually over throw both the governor and the chief minister,” said the army man.

In the light of this bold claim, I was impressed by the courage of the governor of Balochistan Zulfiqar Magsi, who took advantage of the presence of the army chief at the inauguration cer-

>> The City in a nutshell Sui Education City consists of institutions that had already been operating, like Balochistan Public School Sui, FG High School, Women Welfare Center and Balochistan Institute of Technical education, and new establishments like Military College Sui (MCS).

Military College Sui is the third institution of its kind after Military College Jhelum and Murree. MCS will follow the model of Military college Jhelum from where our current army chief General Ashfaq Pervez kayani and present commander southern command Balochistan Major General Javed Zia were also educated. It is spread over 64 acres and will educate 1,500 students. The establishment of two more Military Colleges in Gawadar and Kharan is also on the cards.<<

emony and brought up the case of missing persons. Magsi’s comment on the establishment of the Sui military college was also spot on when he said, “logon ko pata chal gaya hay kay ab danday say kaam nahi chalay ga magar taleem say chalay ga” (people have realised that might is not always right and that education is a more powerful force for change.).

But the true responsibility of raising and tackling the crucial issue of missing persons rests with the chief executive of the provincial government, Chief Minister Nawab Aslam Raisani. His policy statements about unrest in Balochistan being caused by non-state actors did not, at least convince me. When I confronted him with the claim that it was his weak grip on the government machinery responsible for law and order in the province that had in fact caused the problem, the honourable chief minister

the locals into neat categories of ‘loyal’ and ‘rebellious’. Years of

brushed aside my query by stating it was untrue.

deprivation and neglect have made Baloch youth desperate —

On a positive note, the establishment of education city by the

this desperation leads to frustration and anger and it is this an-

military in the heart of a conflict zone is indeed a laudable ef-

ger that enemies exploit for their own benefit.

fort. However whether the exercise is merely changing the name

The army is also convinced that its presence in the province is

of a cantonment to appease locals or a genuine attempt to ad-

crucial for the development and future of Balochistan. A plain-

dress grievances is yet to be determined. Certainly, winning the

clothed army official at the ceremony insisted that the local popula-

hearts and minds of the common Baloch can only be achieved

tion wants a military presence in Balochistan. He also condemned

by opening schools and hospitals, by creating employment op-

Herbyar Muree, Brahamdagh Bugti, Shahzain Bugti and others,

portunities, more giving the locals more control over their natu-

calling them ‘anti-state elements’ because he believed that only the

ral resources and ultimately bringing the Baloch youth into the

army was loyal to Pakistan. To date, I am unable to comprehend

mainstream. If this is not done, no amount of education cities

why development is conditional on the army’s presence.

and packages will stem the flow of blood. a FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

27

PORTFOLIO

26 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

faded glory PHOTOGRAPHS BY MEHLUM SHABBIR SADRIWALA

From people to plants, and from objects to animals, Mehlum Sadriâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lens captures glimpses of everyday life in an extraordinary way.

A long journey

29 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

PORTFOLIO

It’s not enough for a man to know how to ride — he must know how to fall

30 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

The cat â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the roar

The painter constructs, the photographer discloses

31 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

PORTFOLIO

The colour of springtime is in the flowers (Above left) He who searches for pearls must dive below (Left)

26 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Sunshine glory

33 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

WASHINGTONDIARY

the lone gunman A hard-nosed Sheriff holds sway over one of America’s most controversial prisons — Tent City.

BY SHAHZAD RAZA

In the middle of a desert, under a burning sun lies a sprawling tent prison. In each giant tent are forty-four prisoners, all wearing pink underwear designed to humiliate them, and eating two tasteless meals a day. Salt is forbidden in this open-air prison.

No, this isn’t Afghanistan or Iraq. It is Phoenix — the largest

city in the sovereign American state of Arizona.

Probably the most controversial prison in the developed world,

the Tent City Prison routinely incurs the wrath of rights groups and US citizens who have issues with seeing human beings treated worse than animals. That’s not just a metaphor; unlike the

prisoners, the guard dogs in this prison actually have air-con-

ditioned and heated dens. The human inmates get to swelter or freeze, depending on the time of year.

Regardless of the criticism, or perhaps because of it, the found-

er of the prison takes great pride in what he established 18 years

34

ago.

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Looking and sounding like the reincarnation of a medieval jail-

er, Sheriff Joseph Arpaio loves to call himself the toughest sheriff in America. Despite facing a probe by federal justice department

over alleged human rights violations, he’s been sweeping every

election in Maricopa County since 1993. Sheriffs in the US are elected in every county by popular vote. Sheriff Joe, as he likes to be called, doesn’t believe in sparing the rod. In his playbook,

punishment is the best tool to straighten out criminals. But to him, keeping inmates in tents is no punishment at all.

“When our soldiers can live in tents in the harsh conditions of

Afghanistan and Iraq, why not the prisoners? I myself stayed in

those tents twice just to see if I could survive,” he retorts while ridiculing Amnesty International and other rights groups for

their criticism. “The soldiers didn’t commit any crimes, these guys did.”

Sheriff Joe craves the spotlight. And he invents new tricks to

attract the media’s attention. So far his success rate has been

quite high. “The secret of Sheriff Joe’s popularity is that media simply loves his tricks no matter how stupid they are,” observes a professor of journalism at the Arizona State University.

The publicity-hungry Sheriff never finds it difficult to lure

news-hungry journalists. He welcomes TV crews from all over

the world, providing them full access to the prison. He even allows them to talk to the prisoners. And he doesn’t care that most of them spend their time complaining about the prison.

“Why should I care [about critics] because I know whatever I

am doing is right. I am not answerable to anyone — any politician, any official. I am accountable to the people of my county

who have elected me,” Sheriff Joe’s response is punctuated with mocking gestures when he talks about politicians and officials.

Tent City Prison is a well-guarded facility, a 20-minute drive

away from downtown Phoenix. It also has a few indoor prisons, but Sheriff Joe decides whether to lock a particular prisoner indoors or to keep him in the tent prison. Prisoners have no say in the matter.

During the past three years, 45,000 convicts have made their

way to the tent prison. Most of the inmates were Latinos arrested

on charges of violation of probation. Arizona shares a large bor-

der with Mexico and is a favorite route for human smugglers and drug traffickers.

The tent city houses some 1,000 prisoners at the moment. Visi-

tors are escorted by well-equipped, armed SWAT teams to ensure

their safety. Visitors can roam around the tents, talk and shake hands with the prisoners who are apparently quite friendly and peaceful. After all, none of them wants to be shot or thrashed by

the heavily built cops wearing bullet-proof jackets and carrying

sophisticated gadgets along with guns loaded with rubber bullets and live ammunition.

Rights groups oppose the harsh conditions at Tent City

As far as the jail staff is concerned, it’s clear that Sherrif Joe is FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

35

WASHINGTONDIARY their hero. Some of them have been with him since he was first elected Sheriff in 1993. Many of them took part in the establishment of the facility, erecting iron bars and fences with their own hands.

“What the media reports is not fully true. Let us show you what

the real tent prison is: the inmates have every facility, except air

conditioning in summers and heating in winters,” explains Officer G Miller, one of the tour guides.

The tourist’s entrance leads to a large dining area with 27 long

steel tables, each with 16 stools attached. On one wall of the hall is a 29 inch wall mounted television. Prisoners are allowed to

watch only three channels: a weather channel, a sports channel

and a cartoon channel. The prisoners are fed twice a day, in the morning and evening. There is no such thing as lunch. Sheriff

Joe and his subordinates defend the decision to feed the inmates only twice, saying they are fulfilling their caloric requirements.

“Their meals contain 2900 calories which is what’s required for a normal human being in a day,” Officer Miller argues.

Their breakfast consists of an orange, a loaf of bread, a small

“I treat dogs with more respect than the inmates in my jail because dogs haven’t committed a crime,” says Sheriff Joe. Ironically, this Gandhi-follower wears a gun-shaped tiepin and carries a loaded firearm in a side holster everywhere he goes. He is obsessed with the idea that someone wants to kill him.

quantity of peanut butter and a cup of skimmed milk. At dinner they are served hot food without salt. They are not allowed to consume alcohol, smoke or drink coffee.

After you cross the smelly dining hall and a narrow pavement

you come to a huge field flattened with raw gravel. Tall fences are

used to segregate the tents, although they are accessible through the gates. The idea of building the tent prison on this pattern is

to diminish any chance of revolt by the prisoners. Comprising rough canvas sheets and thick iron bars, each tent has 22 bunk

beds meaning 44 inmates share each tent. They are given blankets in winters but no fans in summers, when temperatures can top 38 degrees centigrade.

“Are you crazy to say that we wanna stay in this crappy place?

What the hell are you talking about man? The officers are just telling you lies, don’t listen to them homie,” a powerfully-built and heavily tattooed inmate says while still lying on his bed.

Another inmate leafing through a novel complains about the

36 Prisoners at Tent City wear pink underpants.

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Sheriff Joe has his critics — and his supporters too.

“Whenever an inmate dies in the prison rights groups hold Sheriff Joe and the harsh conditions of the prison responsible. But Sheriff Joe doesn’t care. “I have thousands of prisoners. If somebody dies it’s pretty normal,” he says in a rather taunting manner.

food. He says he hates to eat the same food for months on end. “It sucks,” was his final comment before he turned back to his book.

The inmates deal with incarceration just like prisoners in any

other US prison: they make gangs based on their ethnicity. The

Blacks are called Woods, Latinos call themselves the Pieces, Hispanics are Chicanos, Native Americans are the Chiefs and Whites

are called Kenwoods. Scuffles are common, but normally not lethal.

Living in a tent prison comes with some benefits as well: It is

easier to smuggle contraband from outside. Several times relatives and friends of the inmate were seen throwing small plastic

bags containing cigarettes, drugs or other contraband over the

tall fence. The watchmen keep a strict check on every nook and corner of the fence, but sometimes the inmates get lucky.

Whenever an inmate dies in the prison rights groups hold

Sheriff Joe and the harsh conditions of the prison responsible.

But Sheriff Joe doesn’t care. “I have thousands of prisoners. If somebody dies it’s pretty normal,” he says in a rather taunting manner.

Sheriff Joe is a funny character who constantly cracks jokes ei-

ther to impress or ridicule his audience. “I treat dogs with more respect than the inmates in my jail because dogs haven’t committed a crime. Gandhi once said if you want to observe the char-

acter of any nation look at how they treat their animals,” Sheriff Joe says in his coarse voice and then pauses as if expecting applause.

Ironically, this follower of Gandhi wears a gun-shaped tiepin

and carries a loaded firearm in a side holster everywhere he goes.

He is obsessed with the idea that someone wants to kill him and only moves around the county with a couple of deputies.

Joe Arpaio wants to “serve” his county for many more

years. He is running a rather aggressive media campaign brushing aside all the criticism against him. He is not afraid

of countering journalists who write or report against him.

His motto is to protect and serve the Valley of the Sun at any cost — even human rights violations. a

37

Inmates have to deal with freezing winters and scalding summers.

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

FIRED UP WITH FRIEHA

age ain’t nothin’

but a number Age, love, and so-called selfish agendas — isn’t it all the same thing?

BY FRIEHA ALTAF

Valentine’s Day! Love seemed to be everywhere!

Around that date, every club was having a party or ball. It started with the weekend of the 5th at Sind club and after that, every weekend was booked solid with parties. Now, I’m sick of teddy bears, heart-shaped balloons, cupid, roses and red red red everywhere. My horoscope says, “This is your year for love and partnerships!” I tell you the only partnerships on the

horizon for me are business ones. I’m married to the job. Do I sound like I’m complaining? I’m not complaining. During the last 11 years of my singlehood I’ve been happily settled. I’ve got company: that’s right, I’m not alone. I have a company.

My relationships are with my staff, clients, vendors and art-

ists! My only ‘real’ relationship of two years during this time was

fantastic! No, it didn’t end with us being together, but it was fun, fulfilling and happy. Why must everything be long-lasting?

Does forever ever work? The other day a friend of mine, recently divorced and now dating a much younger man, was told by one

society lady, “You are single now so you must find a rich indus-

trialist and settle down.” My friend turned around and said to this lady, “I am the rich industrialist!” She went on to marry the young man she was dating and looks happy and content!

Why can’t women be the earners? Why should they not have

younger husbands who look after their needs? If Imran Khan can

marry a Jemima who is 20 years younger than him, why can’t every 40-year-old lady have a 20-something husband or boyfriend?

We are conditioned from bachpan to wait for Prince Charm-

ing. He is supposed to be the knight in shining armour who rides a white horse and saves the damsel in distress. Do you think the roles can’t be reversed? Don’t eligible men need res-

cuing? Why can’t I buy my mard a Toyota Hilux? Does he have to be the one bearing diamond gifts? How many women do we

know who can ask a man to marry them? Why do men feel it is

38

an affront to their mardangi to take presents from a woman? It FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

never really feels like a gift when you buy him a present from his money does it? Why should a man feel less of a man if his lady is his sav-

iour? Does that mean that all the ladies I know

have less self-respect because their man pro-

vides for them? It’s such a society issue isn’t it?

We are conditioned to believe in a certain thing without questioning it.

My last boyfriend was nine years younger than me.

After a certain age, age becomes a number. I have always enjoyed relationships with people who are decades

older. I love their experience and their wisdom. On the other hand, my relationships with young people have

always kept me in the loop of what’s hip and happening.

Twenty-five years ago people talked about Tina Turner’s legs and how good she looked for her age. Now, a 47-year-old Demi Moore

looks good…and she is married to Ashton Kutcher who is easily 17 years younger than her.

In fact, all women in their 40s and 50s now look super. The age

of botox, lifts, gymming, detox, spas, fillers, nips and tucks is making age a mere number.

Of course, there is always an agenda to choosing a mate. Oh I

know you will all cry and say we disagree — but there is an agen-

da. The mother who chooses a pretty girl whose family is well-

connected has an agenda: she can’t be too old or she won’t be able to adjust. (They can mould you when you’re younger, older

girls are too independent!) Family matters too; if the boy/girl is

poorer than your family, you have more power over them, if they are richer the boy/girl can move up in the world. Looks are also part of the agenda. If you’re good-looking, the next generation is bound to be good-looking too. Now, about personality — of

course it’s important but the quiet shy types are welcomed while the loud confident ones can be intimidating!

The other day a friend of mine, recently divorced and now dating a much younger man, was told by one society lady, “You are single now so you must find a rich industrialist and settle down.”

My friend turned around and said to this lady, “I am the rich industrialist!”

Another friend of mine — this time a man in his 30s — who is

dating an ambitious young woman was told to be careful of his mate’s agenda or intentions. I have never seen my friend happier

or more in love! Having said that, most celebrities form attachments that aren’t based on honourable intentions. Someone always wants something from the other person. So what? If there

is give and take, and as long as you’re aware of it, is there some-

thing wrong with the match? As long as you don’t abandon your family and leave this self-serving person everything you own you

will be okay. So what if you’re being used — whether for your looks, your power or your money — the return will probably be sweet. a

39 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

HUMOUR

horror scope

The good news is that your future is written in the stars. The bad news is that no one can read the handwriting.

ILLUSTRATION: S JAMAL K

BY HASEEB ASIF

40 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Aries:

Libra:

Try to avoid work today, you don’t want to spoil a well-estab-

Today is a good day to move to another country, change your

you find out someone in your family has died, but that it isn’t

prints. All things grow with love, but even more so with fer-

lished routine. You will soon receive a pleasant surprise when

you. Remember to take everything with a pinch of salt, unless you have high blood pressure.

name and start a new life — the police have found your fingertiliser. Your efforts don’t just go unrewarded, they also go unnoticed.

Taurus:

Scorpio:

“The landlord says your rent is late, he may have to litigate, but

The early bird gets shot. It’s hunting season, stay in bed. You

you will be kidnapped and taken to another country. Onion is a

the judge how the company funds ended in your personal ac-

don’t worry, be happy.” There is much travel in your future when good smell for you today.

Gemini:

will be asked to deliver a convincing speech soon, explaining to count. Go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Today is a good day to lose some pounds, the exchange rate is up.

Sagittarius:

destrian during your driving lesson. Try not to run over the pe-

noticeable over the hernia. The boss will be evaluating you for a

Try not to crash into the electricity pole after running over a pe-

That backache will not bother you so much today, it’ll hardly be

destrian during your driving lesson. Try not to go on your driving

promotion, remember to pass on any blame and take credit for

lesson. Remember, most problems are easily solved with a loaded firearm — pointed at your head.

Cancer:

You’ll notice an unsightly blemish on your face today; the doctor will call it a nose. The future holds great things for you, unfortunately you’ll always live in the present. People are laughing

behind your back, did you forget to sew your trousers? Wear your

best clothes, put on some perfume and use big words, you might just fool someone today.

Leo: If you talk backwards and hop around on one leg, today could

bring many psychiatric medicines. Later, why not take a relaxing evening stroll at a nearby park? Walk to the far corner, stop behind the bushes, come alone, or else.

any success. Eat out; your wife has poisoned the stew.

Capricorn:

Take your time getting to work, you’re going to get fired anyway.

Frequent visits to the toilet await you. Don’t worry, it’s not gastric — it’s your new job. Someone who loves you wants you to

change, explain to them you only have this one pair of pants.

“Look for the bare necessities. The simple bare necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife.”

Aquarius: Trouble at home. Your parents will tell you they’re having a difficult time thinking of you as their son, despite the sex change operation.

The feelings of another will become clearer to you after they try and

stab you with a pencil. Today might get tiring, but you’ll sleep easy at night knowing you outran an angry gorilla.

Virgo:

Pisces:

All Virgos will have their dreams come true today — except you.

What you formerly thought was a bad idea will bloom into a total

haps next week. You can also look forward to migraines, utility

you have with the rest of the world, but make sure there’s a cure

Now is not a good time to staple your tongue to your chin, perbills and unwanted guests.

disaster today; you can feel smug about being right. Share what for it. Success is yours if you sacrifice enough goats.a

41 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

TRAVEL

home away

from home A visit to Manila reveals an astonishingly modern city.

BY TARIQ ALAM JAH

As the airplane started its descent into Manila, I gazed out of the window and looked out onto dozens of waterways cutting through fields and populated areas.

assassination in 1983 provided the spark for the people’s move-

I’d wanted to visit the Philippines ever since the department of

were able to get through customs and leave the airport in about

tourism unveiled a new slogan which translates to “Philippines so beautiful,” in a bid to boost tourism to the country.

ment that swept Marcos from power. It’s one of the world’s busiest airports and is among the top fifty airports with the heaviest

traffic. The airport has a great staff to passenger ratio, and we 50 minutes.

The drive from the airport to our hotel in Makati was pleasant

It took fourteen hours for me to travel from Karachi to Manila,

and took just about 25 minutes. There was not much traffic on

by the airport. We landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport

a day before Eid in Pakistan was celebrated in 2010. This was

but after all that I was still alert enough to be pleasantly surprised

at around 4 pm — the airport is named after Benigno ‘Ninoy’ Aquino, a former Governor who opposed Ferdinand Marcos. His

42 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2010

the roads since most people were busy celebrating Eid-e-Qurban,

quite surprising to me, since I had been told that 80 per cent of the population of the Philippines is Catholic, 15 per cent of the

population belongs to indigenous groups and Muslims constitute just 5 per cent of the total population.

Makati City is the city’s main business hub — its business dis-

trict is said to be rivalling the business districts of Singapore and

Hong Kong in its capitalistic buzz. A lot of people I met strongly believe that a new Philippines is emerging — a country that is

breaking with its past. Tourism and remittances are major factors contributing to the Philippines’ economic growth.

With remittances worth about $21.3 billion flowing into the

country this year, the Philippine workforce has become the country’s biggest export. This makes the Philippines the fourth biggest recipient of remittances worldwide, trailing behind India,

China and Mexico. It is estimated that 9 million nationals work

A lot of people I met strongly believe that a new Philippines is emerging — a country that is breaking with its past.

outside the Philippines.

With a projected GDP growth of about 6.5 per cent this year,

the country’s foreign exchange reserves are likely to touch $60 billion by the end of the year.

Some Filipinos, however, were of the opinion that official fig-

ures of growth are inflated and that corruption, nepotism and

coercion are quite common. To my surprise, locals said that even in the capital city you will find roads full of potholes, blocks with no street lights, and poor sanitation. As for me, I didn’t see much that would have allowed to me form the same conclusions.

As far as travelling around the city is concerned, I found Fili-

pinos to be generally friendly and hospitable. English is spoken

widely and easily understood. The night life in Manila is vibrant, and Filipinos seemed to be very welcoming to foreigners.

While staying in Manila or Makati, Muslim visitors have to do

lot of research to find places where Halal food is available. Driving to Manila’s downtown (to Quiapo - a Muslim District in Central Manila), where a number of restaurants and food outlets offer Halal Food is not hassle-free because a lot of traffic clogs the roads. Quiapo is located at the very centre of Manila and is home

to a sizeable Muslim population, which is roughly around 16 per

steamed fish and shrimp are served with a selection of sausages

and slices of lemon that can fully satisfy your craving for sea food.

Pre- Christmas buying had begun as early as mid November

cent of Manila’s total population. Christians and Muslims live

and people had started crowding super markets and departmen-

We were lucky to discover two places in Makati at walking dis-

before Christmas at various places in the city outside the main

here peacefully side by side.

tance from our hotel. The “Persian Kebab Inc” and “Al Batra” are both located at Makati Avenue where we had delicious continental dishes that were truly satisfying.

At “Al Batra” a large image of Quranic verses hung at the main

entrance, much to our delight. Besides continental dishes, both food outlets also offer Arabic and Persian menus.

tal stores. A number of Christmas bazaars are also organised

markets. The stalls here sell the cheapest stuff and shoppers naturally gravitate here.

As continuous and heavy rain results in massive flooding in

Metro Manila and makes life difficult, visitors to Manila are advised not to visit the city during monsoon season.

On my return to the airport, when I handed over my passport

One day while walking to the restaurant for lunch we saw a

to the officer at the immigration counter at Ninoy Aquino Inter-

mangoes looked similar to our ‘Chaunsas’ but were slightly

he hoped I would leave Manila with pleasant memories, and I

vendor selling fresh mangoes in a basket made of straw. These

smaller. We were so excited that we asked for mangoes after we were through with our lunch. These mangoes were pretty tasty

national airport, he said brightly “Assalam-o-Alaikum!” He said nodded in affirmation. a

but not as tasty as the ’Chaunsa’.

43

Downtown Manila is famous for its sea food. Here, grilled and FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

REVIEW

featured review of the week

book it wasn’t me

BY NADIR HASSAN

If he wasn’t so bull-headed, there would be reason to think that Donald Rumsfeld’s brilliantly-titled memoir Known and Unknown is a playful admission that his most famous remarks really made no sense. At a press briefing in 2002, the-then defence secretary said: “As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” But Rumsfeld, as his memoir all too clearly shows, is not one to ever admit error, even over something as minor as off-the-cuff musings.

If Known and Unknown has one theme it’s “It was the other guy’s fault.” For the Iraq disaster, which he micro-managed, he variously manages to blame Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, George Tenet, Jerry Bremer and Richard Armitage. Self-reflection isn’t built into Rumsfeld’s DNA. All autobiographies tend to wallow in post-facto rationalisations but also allow for mistakes to be admitted in hindsight. Rumsfeld, like his boss George W Bush, doesn’t believe he ever got anything wrong.

To convince readers of his infallibility, Rumsfeld lies and distorts the truth. He denies that anyone in the US government or military ever called for more troops to be sent to Iraq when the invasion was launched, even though the original war plans called for about triple the troops Rumsfeld sent. He also says that he never wanted Ahmed Chalabi to rule Iraq, conveniently ignoring that it was his Defence Department that flew Chalabi back to Iraq and his deputy Paul Wolfowitz publicly touted Chalabi’s leadership bona fides.

Perhaps the most galling passage in Known and Unknown is when Rumsfeld disavows any responsibility for torture. He blames the behaviour at Abu Ghraib on “a small group of prison guards who ran amok”, never thinking to admit that he was the one who conceived and implemented ‘enhanced interrogations’ in all US-run 44 secret prisons and that these interrogations actually shared a lot of FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

setting the record straight In his memoir, Donald Rumsfeld conveniently puts the blame for everything from the Iraq war to Abu Ghraib on somebody else

Some of Rumsfeld’s more memorable sayings: 1. “Things will not be necessarily continuous. The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous ought not to be characterised as a pause.”

2. “We do know, of certain knowledge, that (Bin Laden) is either in Afghanistan or in some other country or dead.”

3. “I’m not into this detail stuff. I’m more concepty.”

After over 500 pages of namecalling and score-settling, Rumsfeld then has the gall to say he does not believe in personal attacks. That, in a nutshell, is Donald Rumsfeld. A man so loosely connected to reality every word he writes is suspect.

similarities with the torture at Abu Ghraib.

The only thing that makes this book fascinating is the unintended psychological portrait it provides of Rumsfeld. He is casually dismissive of anyone who is his intellectual inferior, which, with the exception of his good friend Dick Cheney, seems to include everyone in the Bush administration. After over 500 pages of name-calling and score-settling, Rumsfeld then has the gall to say he does not believe in personal attacks. That, in a nutshell, is Donald Rumsfeld. A man so loosely connected to reality every word he writes is suspect.

If there was one worthwhile thing about Rumsfeld it was his brilliant impromptu press conferences. The “known unknowns” brain fart aside, Rumsfeld was consistently hilarious, stylish and devastating when speaking. None of that has translated into his writing. His prose is leaden and the rawness of his anger leads to insipid writing that rarely rises above the level of vitriol. Known and Unknown should be put out to pasture and excavated only 30 years from now to prove to people who weren’t around for the Bush era just how insane and maddening it really was.

45 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

REVIEW

film dynamic duo

BY ALI SYED

The Green Hornet is not a known superhero, at least in this part of the world. So, when you watch a movie about a masked vigilante who is very rich, can boast of numerous technologically advanced gadgets and a sidekick to boot, and makes people think he is the bad guy, it doesn’t take long for you to go “Batman?”

While there are many similarities between the Green Hornet and the Dark Knight, the film differs from those about the caped crusader in two ways: It is more comedic and it isn’t done as well as the many Batman movies that have aired on the big screen in the past (except, maybe, Batman Forever).

As already hinted, The Green Hornet’s plot is similar to Batman.

It revolves around a rich boy, Britt Reid (played by Seth Rogan), whose father dies and leaves him a wealthy business. Reid has so far lived a fairly empty existence partying it up with pretty young things and yearns to do something meaningful. It is just then that he meets Kato (Jay Chou), his father’s ex-mechanic, who is a technological genius as well as a crazy martial arts expert. Together, the duo go out every night to find trouble (Batman alert! Batman alert!).

Now, if you’re familiar with the sort of humour associated with Rogan, you won’t expect classy witticisms and smart jokes — which is good, because the humour in The Green Hornet is pretty lowbrow. One thing that does stand out about Rogan is entirely unrelated to his acting chops — the guy has lost a lot of weight.

Jay Chou plays Kato who, other than having the aforementioned jobs, also drives the Green Hornet around. Chou, who hasn’t really done any noteworthy English language productions before, actually pulls off a good act. However, at times you’re left wondering whether Chou’s character is supposed to be funny or not. But then again that’s how you feel about most of the movie.

The best character in the movie is that of the villain Chudnofsky who later on becomes Bloodnofsky, played by the extremely 46 talented Christopher Waltz. Now, if you have seen his last film FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

humour me If you’re familiar with the sort of humour associated with Rogan, you won’t expect classy witticisms and smart jokes — which is good, because the humour in The Green Hornet is pretty lowbrow Inglorious Bastards, you would know exactly what is being referred to here. The man is made to play a witty and eccentric villain. Even though he is the bad guy, Waltz’s performance will probably make Chudnofsky your favourite character.

Cameron Diaz as Lenore Case was a waste of a role. Enough said.

All in all, The Green Hornet is a somewhat funny, action packed movie which features lots of cool gadgets. On a boring day, it’ll take your mind off your troubles for a little while.

film under the influence

BY BATOOL ZEHRA

You’d have to be stoned to enjoy watching Love and Other Drugs — despite its name, the movie fails to produce the mellow high of a well-made romantic comedy, inducing weary scepticism instead of a willing suspension of disbelief.

It’s the 1990s and Jamie (Jake Gyllenhaal), a dedicated ladykiller and pharmaceutical salesman, is pushing Zoloft to doctors who would much rather prescribe Prozac. He doggedly pursues Dr Knight (Hank Azaria), the trendsetting doctor that others in the community follow. He sweet talks the receptionist, flirts with the doctor’s assistant, and finally bribes the doctor to allow Jamie to tail him. This is how he meets Maggie (Anne Hathaway) who suffers from early onset Alzheimer’s. When their casual sex turns to something unexpectedly serious, the two commitment-phobics must decide whether it’s time to split up or stay together.

There is hardly any storyline to speak of — any movie with a plot point which hinges on the lovers’ separation/ reunion must first make us care about the characters themselves. Love and Other Drugs fails — as a viewer, not only do you fail to recognise that Jamie and Maggie are indeed meant for each other, you feel a scornful apathy towards them which is entirely deserving of the sub-standard acting.

Gyllenhaal, who is best known for playing outcasts, is uncomfortable in a role which requires a degree of natural ease and charm. Working a transition from the oddly appealing nerdy boy to Hollywood heartthrob, Gyllenhaal appears fully prepped for the numerous nude scenes. He seems to have taken Tom Cruise as his inspiration for playing the romantic lead and his witless mimicry of Cruise’s gestures is cringe-inducing. Hathaway’s masses of curls and toothy smile are oddly reminiscent of Julia Roberts, minus the effortless charisma. Gyllenhaal and Hathaway are naked or nearnaked for most of the movie but their chemistry is still unconvincing and the viewer does not feel invested in their relationship. Will they stay together? Will they split up? Do we care?

hard to swallow As a viewer, not only do you fail to recognise that Jamie and Maggie are indeed meant for each other, you feel a scornful apathy towards them which is entirely deserving of the unconvincing acting The supporting cast is perpetually distracting and artificial, the screenplay consistently lacks in wit and sparkle and the choppy editing doesn’t help either. The movie comes close to making a comment about the American healthcare system but then stops short. Too much seems to be going on in Love and Other Drugs but none of it succeeds in making an impact.

The movie can boast of one distinction though — the most revolting meet-cute in rom-com history. Jamie and Maggie meet in the doctor’s office when Maggie asks Dr Knight to examine a lump on her breast. I mean, wouldn’t you go out with the sales rep pretending to be an intern who gets an unabashed eyeful of your breasts?

If you want to catch a glimpse of Hathaway and Gyllenhaal in the buff, watch the movie, but if you want your monthly rom-com fix, look elsewhere. a

47 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

HOROSCOPE

BY SHELLEY VON STRUNCKEL

Aries March 20 - April 19 You rather like others making decisions for you — as long as you trust and respect the individual in question. But in several situations you must yield to those whose

views you’re unsure of or, worse, an undetermined destiny. An-

noying as this is, the forces you to stop obsessing about certain arrangements and to revise others - and for reasons that will soon become crystal clear.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 Over the past several weeks you’ve found yourself in a range of settings as diverse as they’ve been unexShelley von Strunckel is an internationally acclaimed astrologer who created the first horoscope column for the London Sunday Times in 1992.

A frequent lecturer, she writes daily,

pected. Bizarre as some of these experiences have been, each has added to your knowledge or perspective. With powerful changes, over the coming weeks, reshaping both your life and the

world, these insights will prove amazingly useful. Some might even provide the foundation for your future plans.

weekly and monthly horoscopes in publications around the world including South China Morning Post, The Gulf News, Tatler, French and Chinese Vogue and now The Express Tribune Magazine.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 While some complain constantly about

reorganising plans, you view it as a creative exercise. In the pro-

cess you can update arrangements and incorporate others’ ideas.

It’s just that with so little to go on, you’re uneasy about making any but modest changes. Actually it’s the reverse. With so much

in transition, there’s no better time to take chances. If things don’t work, they can be easily reorganised.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 Having already been cornered into tricky situations by partners, friends or colleagues, you’re wary of expressing any but the most neutral of views. Your best strategy

is to avoid avoiding them. Instead, focus on exploring various recent, and intriguing, options. While they won’t all be worthwhile, some will provide information that will prove crucial when, in a few weeks’ time, you must make swift decisions.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Few things irritate you more than those who question your decisions, despite the fact you know exactly

what you’re doing. Explain your intentions once and clearly.

Then busy yourself with certain matters you’ve been putting off.

Deal with them now and you’ll not only escape your major critics, you’ll experience the virtue that comes with tackling tasks you should have dealt with long ago.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 Accepting that you’ve no say in

pivotal decisions isn’t easy. But with both your ruler Mercury and Mars in your opposite sign of Pisces, others are holding the

reins. So instead busy yourself with several matters that have been on your mind anyway. You’re not abandoning situations but leaving them until next week, when you can discuss which

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of others’ decisions worked — and which didn’t.

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

Libra September 23 – October 22 While you can survive others’

contentious mood, you’ll do whatever you can to cheer them up. Don’t. Their grumpiness has nothing to do with you. Actu-

ally, they may not understand its source themselves. Bizarre as it sounds, ignore them and focus on imposing order on your life.

This won’t seem urgent. Begin and you’ll soon realise how much you’ve neglected while you’ve been catering to others’ needs.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 If recent clashes haven’t forced

you to acknowledge that sometimes even you get things wrong, then you’re in for a few surprises. In several areas of your life

you’ve ignored recent changes — in circumstances, others’ lives or your own needs — and based decisions on the past. The problem, alternatives would take you into unfamiliar territory. But actually, since you’re beginning a new cycle, you’ve no choice.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 You’re facing situations

that you once dreamed about. But in those fantasies you didn’t

consider the way in which exciting developments would reshape your life or require you confront certain practicalities. While these are inescapable, don’t try to settle everything now. With changes and the events they’re triggering continuing for some

time, plans should be flexible enough to accommodate the next round of exciting developments.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Obviously, under normal

circumstances, you’d never take the blame for something that was neither your doing nor your responsibility. But actually, it might be best, if only because it enables you to get more involved

in the arrangements certain individuals are getting very wrong.

True, it will mean working together, which could be agonising.

But it’s better than watching from the sidelines, silent and powerless.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 In mid-March your ruler Uranus moves into a new sign and to accent your viewpoint. While you may

already be experiencing some of the changes it triggers, it’s unlikely you’ll spot their promise. Some — unexpected developments or

those who ask that you justify your views — may even seem a nuisance. Instead of brushing these off, respond to each enthusiastically and you’ll soon recognise what’s coming your way.

Pisces February 19 – March 19 The annual Pisces New Moon marks a time to clear away elements of the past and consider where a fresh start is needed. But with major events altering

your life and the circumstances around you, such an analysis

simply isn’t possible. Instead reflect on what you’re happy with

For more information, to order personal charts and to download & listen to detailed audiocasts, visit www.shelleyvonstrunckel.com

and what you’re not. Unlikely as some changes seem, you’ll be

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astonished what the coming weeks bring your way.

FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

THE HATER

10 things I hate about ...world cup fever

1 2 3 4 5

The hokey advertising. Not only do I have to endure

endless matches endlessly playing themselves out on TV, I also get to watch cricketers mock-pensively recall how one bank changed their lives forever.

That we bank all our hopes for redemption on the

promise of winning the World Cup. Pakistan’s name

has been besmirched by ball-biters? That’s ok, a world cup win will make it better. Corruption in the religious

affairs ministry? Don’t worry, that golden cup will save us from ourselves.

Cricketers-turned-politicians-turned-team

advisors.

When they started running political parties we wished

they’d go back to playing cricket. Now that they’ve started commenting on team morale-building, we wish they’d go back to politicking.

Cricketers-turned- match fixers-turned TV pundits.

Just when we thought we didn’t need more Butticisms in our lives, someone decides to try and make the man an expert.

The new wave of nationalism. Patriotic fervour will

unite the nation for the next month or so, as fundos, liberals, lefties and righties all rally behind the cricket

team. The squabble that reignites after the Cup is

just another reminder of our comically short-term memories.

50 FEBRUARY 27-MARCH 5 2011

BY HAMNA ZUBAIR

6 7 8 9 10

New room for debate. Rampant cricket fever means that

every man has an opinion on the team’s performance, stamina, groin injuries etc — and will not be afraid to express said opinions.

If this wasn’t bad enough, religious commentators have jumped on the bandwagon, and will once again

claim the team performed poorly because the soles of

their sneakers are painted green — the colour of Islam, remember?

The social exclusion. If you aren’t a member of the

I-love-WorldCup club, your social calendar for the next

month will start looking rather bleak. Ah well, more time to huddle up with that anniversary edition of Ballet Mecanique you’ve been meaning to see. Goody.

The ebb and flow of self-righteous smugness. If you hate on cricket madness and the team loses a match,

you’re in the clear. But if the team wins, you’ll find your narrative quickly collapses, leaving you to eye celebrating fans with jealousy and wistfulness.

The anticipation. Not for the win, but for the scandal

— because I can just smell the bookies closing in for the kill. a