The Express Tribune Magazine - March 20

MARCH M MA A RC AR RC H 2 20-26 0 26 2011 0-26 20 0 11 011

Bettor’s Paradise

How the average man profits from cricket fever

24

Death In Dhaka 36

Spring Fever 52 HOROSCOPE

REVIEWS

COMMENT

PEOPLE

FEATURES

MARCH 20-26 2011

Cover Story 24 Bettor’s Paradise High-flying bookies aren’t the only people who profit from sport 32 Right On The Money Who earns how much from World Cup fever

Comment 34 Leg Break!

A long back at cricket’s evolution

Feature 36 Death In Dhaka Dhaka’s Liberation War Mueseum is a grim reminder of the past

Feature

36

38 Between Two Worlds A story of triumph over adversity

Feature 40 Begging For Salvation Can a phone call save a street child?

24

Comment 42 Spare Change A look at we despise the beggar

Feature 44 Changing Opinions Ulema in Swat begin to support polio eradication

Up North and Personal 52 Spring Fever A change of weather brings a change of heart

Regulars 6 People & Parties: Out and about with Pakistan’s beautiful people 22 Tribune Questionnaire: Haniya Aslam on guitars 48 Reviews: What’s new in film and books 56 Horoscope: Shelley von Strunckel on your week ahead 58 Ten Things I Hate About: My husband’s friends

4

22

Editor: Zarrar Khuhro. Sub-Editors: Batool Zehra, Hamna Zubair Creative Team: Amna Iqbal, Jamal Khurshid, Essa Malik, Anam Haleem, Tariq Alvi, S Asif Ali, Samad Siddiqui, Sukayna Sadik Publisher: Bilal A Lakhani. Executive Editor: Muhammad Ziauddin. Editor: Kamal Siddiqi.

For feedback and submissions: magazine@tribune.com.pk

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Crescent Lawn launches its new collection

b, Freiha, Zaina q ri Ta en ne Naz

Iraj and Rubab

Fia

Mathira

6 MARCH 20-26 2011

Huma Adnan

Farah Khan

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Shehnaz with a friend

Amna Ilyas

Qnain and Sherry

Nashmia Zahir Rahmatuallah with Jamal Mir

8 MARCH 20-26 2011

Nuzhat Shiraz

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Barclays Bank celebrated women’s achievements countrywide

tai, l, Amer Chug Mubashir Iqba d others an d za eh Sh Khuwaja Asif,

Nina and Nickie

Asad Ali and Myra Malik

Reema Khan

10 MARCH 20-26 2011

Annie

Madiha, Tariq Bilal and Mahjabeen

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Elvena Sunny and Hina Naz

Hina Bayat

Shehzad Dada and Ayesha Tammy Haq

Rozi Patel Nadya Mistry, Muzna Ebrahim and Rubila Hasan

12 MARCH 20-26 2011

Ghazala Khan

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Labels showcased Teejays, Sania Maskatiya and Asifa & Nabeel

lil, Feeha Anoushey Ja sifa A d an ed sh Jam

Maheen Karim Mirza

Natasha Saleem

Asifa & Nabeel.

14 MARCH 20-26 2011

a Sania Maskatiy ni ba Ta r ai and Um

Fathma Amir and Tehmina Khalid

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Tena Durrani launched her collection in Lahore

al and

Madiha, Imtis Ahmer

Ubaid and Khadija

Khadija and Faisal

Asma and Sara

16 MARCH 20-26 2011

Yab and Rima Farid

Lubna , Talat and Sadaf

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Sitara Lawn launched Shamaeel’s collection

Nabila Bano

Romana

Shamaeel and Maheen Khan

Amna Ilyas

18 MARCH 20-26 2011

mad Mian Anees Ah

Shamaeel

“The album we made is my greatest source of pride” Haniya Aslam, guitarist and member of musical duo Zeb & Haniya, on hope, jazz guitars, and changing the world.

What is your greatest extravagance?

What is your most treasured possession?

Gadgets and guitars.

My Ibanez jazz guitar.

What is your current state of mind?

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

I’m feeling productive.

Loss of hope.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

If you didn’t do your current job, what would you choose to do?

Sacrifice.

I’d probably be an academic.

On what occasion do you lie?

Who is your hero of fiction?

To avoid conflict.

Sam Gamgee from Lord of the Rings.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

The camera!

I admire many people, but I’m not sure who I identify with.

Which living person do you most despise?

Who are your heroes in real life?

Nobody really.

Normal, everyday people in Pakistan who manage to stay posi-

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Self-assurance.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

tive and keep forging ahead.

What is your greatest regret?

None yet.

Self-assurance.

What’s your favourite quote?

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

zens can change the world” — Margaret Mead.

“I don’t know” and “That’s not cool”.

When and where were you happiest?

The years I spent in Quetta as a child.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My sleeping habits.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

So far, the album we made is my greatest source of pride.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citi-

What kind of super powers would you like to have?

Some kind of teleporting ability… I hate airplanes.

What are you more scared of: lizards or cockroaches?

Lizards.

If you had a time machine, where would you go?

Back in time to meet Amir Khusrau.

What’s the one thing you wish someone would invent?

Alternate power sources.

A tree.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what’s the one thing you’d

Where would you most like to live?

Any musical instrument. a

In the mountains.

take with you?

23 MARCH 20-26 2011

COVER STORY

bettor’s

paradise

BY NADIR HASSAN

12 MARCH 20-26-2011

The 2011 iteration of the cricket World Cup promises to be a batter’s and bettor’s paradise.

Played on unforgiving, flat pitches where scores of 300 are just about par, the tournament is going to yield century after century. For the gamblers, there is the enticing prospect of 49 matches played over six weeks, with each game offering dozens of mini-opportunities to cash in or lose your monthly pay cheque.

13 MARCH 20-26-2011

COVER STORY

Illegal cricket betting, we are told, is a multi-billion dollar industry and it invariably leads to spot-fixing, match-fixing, bought-off cricketers and the end of sport as we know it.But a second, smaller gambling world exists; one where the amounts bet are smaller, though still considerable.

In Pakistan, gambling and cricket have always gone hand-inhand. Add them up and the answer is corruption. The stories that catch mainstream media attention are those of the big, bad gambling syndicates in India and Dubai. Stories abound of shady men in shades handing stuffed envelopes to susceptible cricketers. Illegal cricket betting, we are told, is a multi-billion dollar industry and it invariably leads to spot-fixing, match-fixing, bought-off cricketers and the end of sport as we know it.

Granted, this scary world of mafias and crooked players exists and, given how impenetrable it is, it’s not surprising that reporting on it is sketchy and sensationalist. But a second, smaller gambling world exists; one where the amounts bet are smaller, though still considerable. As with everything else in Pakistan, even the society of gamblers is stratified. There are the tycoons, barons and industrialists whose individual bets run into the millions of rupees. Then there is the salaried class, which is just looking to add an extra kick to the enjoyment of watching a cricket match.

It was the latter, slightly more opaque, incidence of gambling that I decided to explore during the World Cup. The perfect opportunity presented itself after England’s last gasp victory over minnows Netherlands in the early stages of the tournament. England’s bowling attack, so fancied before the

This legendary Test match is best remembered for Ian Botham’s remarkable innings that took England to one of cricket’s most unlikely victories.

What is less known that is that Australians Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh got a third party to place a small wager on an England victory when they found out the odds of that happening were 500-1. At the time, match-fixing and gambling were not on anyone’s radar and the incident was laughed off.

MARCH 20-26-2011

Saleem Malik

12

Headingly 1981

competition began, was ravaged by the Dutch batsmen. Despite

It is not known exactly how many matches Saleem Malik fixed, but it was a not insubstantial number. He was first accused by Australians Shane Warne, Tim May and Mark Waugh of offering them money to throw a Test match in Karachi in 1994-95. He denied that charge but persistent rumours of corruption in the Pakistan team lead to Justice Qayyum carrying out the first in-depth investigation into match-fixing in Pakistan. His report recommended life bans only for Malik and Atta-urRehman but much of the 1990s team was fingered for its involvement

world cup fever Bets or no bets — some fans just want to enjoy the experience. Above and left, cricket fans cheer Pakistan on at the World Cup.

27 MARCH 20-26-2011

In 2000, South African captain Hansie Cronje was caught redhanded when tapes surfaced of his conversations with Indian bookmakers. After an initial denial, Cronje admitted to providing information and fixing matches for money and was given a life ban. He also offered money to teammate Herschelle Gibbs to underperform. Cronje died in a plane crash in 2002.

Mohammed Azharuddin and Ajay Jadeja

Ironically, two of Malik’s accusers had also taken money from bookies. It was revealed in 1998 that the pair had given what, according to them, was pitch and weather information to an Indian bookmaker several years earlier. The Australian cricket board fined Warne and Waugh secretly and hushed up the matter.

Hansie Cronje

Shane Warne and Mark Waugh

COVER STORY

After Cronje revealed that Indian skipper Mohammed Azharuddin had introduced him to the gambling mafia, authorities in India investigated the batsmen and eventually said that he had played a significant role in the rise of illegal bookmakers in the country. Batsman Ajay Jadeja was also implicated. Azharuddin was handed down a life sentence while Jadeja was given a five-year ban.

the narrowness of the victory, given the structure of the tourna-

the transfer. Although the money is transferred to the Philip-

ment England was sure to make it to the quarter-finals (this was

pines in dollars, the payment would be made in rupees. Includ-

before they lost to Ireland) and so were still worth a flutter.

ing fees, a $100 bet would end up costing more than 9000 rupees.

The process of placing a bet on England turned out to be quite

There was no indication that the shop was a hub of illicit activ-

cumbersome. It began with an introduction to a representative

ity. There were everyday customers going about their everyday

of a bookie. The scion of a feudal family, this representative

business. In truth, the place had a whiff of amateurism to it. The

wasn’t a bookie himself; he just handled transactions, gave odds

one thing that you do not expect when placing an illegal bet is

and provided information on how to deposit and collect money.

to get a receipt. Yet there it was, a copy giving the name of the

He was never seen or heard since all communication with him

person the money had been sent to and the amount wagered.

takes place through SMS.

It’s doubtful that the document would be legally binding but it

The afternoon after the England-Netherlands match, I asked him what the odds on England winning the World Cup were. The

was nonetheless reassuring to get documentary evidence of the transaction that has just ensued.

terse reply simply stated, “7-1”. After being told the odds were ac-

While the gambling scene in Pakistan is a fascinating sub-cul-

ceptable, he explained the next step. I was provided the name

ture, most people are interested in it only in how it relates to foul

and address of a woman in the Philippines, along with the name

play in cricket. The relatively small-scale operators, who deal in

and location of an employee at a commercial establishment who

the tens of thousands rather than tens of millions, do not have

would handle the money transfer.

the financial muscle to buy off players. The world of high-stakes

Ten minutes later, I got another SMS. This one gave more in-

gambling is far more hermetic and an introduction to it requires

structions. “Ask him for the yellow form. On another paper write

a net worth of eight or nine figures and a dizzying array of intro-

England, 7-1 and the bet amount.” He further said that bets could

ductions and contacts.

be a minimum of $100 and a maximum of $3000 and an addi-

I was, however, able to speak to a person who exists in the mar-

tional 10 per cent fee would be added for the employee handling

gins of this high-rolling existence. As an acquaintance of a big-

28 MARCH 20-26-2011

Salman Butt, Mohammed Aamir and Mohammed Asif

Marlon Samuels

Although the exact nature of his transgression was never revealed, West Indian batsman Marlon Samuels was given a two-year ban in 2008 for receiving financial compensation in a manner that would bring the game into disrepute.

A sting operation carried out by British tabloid News of the World revealed that the three Pakistanis took cash to deliberately ball no-balls in a Test match against England. All three were adjudged guilty by an ICC tribunal and given five-year bans with Butt and Asif being given additional suspended sentences.

time bookie and someone who has dabbled in taking bets him-

a certain player changing the way he plays for a portion of an in-

self, he was familiar with some of the more unsavoury dealings

nings than two teams colluding to guarantee a certain result.

in this shady world.

He said, “There is no bookie on this planet who can buy 22 play-

He was unwilling to speak about how high-stakes bookies op-

ers and get them to tie a match. There is too much randomness

erate but did agree to talk, off the record, on the ways in which

in cricket for this to work out.” If the amounts given to Salman

cricket matches can be fixed by those who have access.

Butt, Mohammed Aamir and Mohammed Asif for their spot-

So far, there have been two matches at the World Cup that have

fixing is a good barometer of the going market rate for buying

led to some chatter and suspicion. The first was Australia’s rou-

off corrupt players, then fixing the India-England match would

tine win over Zimbabwe, which sent tongues wagging because of

have required a bookie to shell out north of two million pounds.

the painfully slow progress of Australia’s openers. Shane Watson

By contrast, he said, paying two players to adjust their perfor-

and Brad Haddin, two batsmen who are among the faster scorers

mance for an hour or two is eminently doable for those who have

in world cricket, crawled along at a run rate of less than three an

the money, wherewithal and influence. This is not to say that

over for the first 10 overs of Australia’s innings. This led to some

the Australian openers are guilty of corruption; simply that that

gossip, which Haddin strenuously denied, that they might have

scenario is far more plausible.

been paid off to score slowly at the start of the innings.

For over a decade now, cricket has been rocked by multiple

The second suspicious match was England’s tie with India.

match- and spot-fixing scandals. Using the smoke and fire the-

Former Australian leg spinner Shane Warne was also called

ory, fans have now become so cynical that anything seemingly

out by paranoid minds for predicting a tie on Twitter before the

out of the ordinary is a sign of foul play. Given the glorious un-

match began.

certainty of sport, this World Cup is bound to throw up many

While he had no specific knowledge of the matches in ques-

other shocks. That many of these results will be associated with

tion, my source explained how it was far more plausible that

bookmakers’ influence shows just how profoundly gambling has

bookmakers would exert the sort of influence that would lead to

shaped the cricket world today.

a 29 MARCH 20-26-2011

COVER STORY

12 MARCH 20-26-2011

13 MARCH 20-26-2011

right on the

money

Who profits when cricket fever hits the masses?

BY FAROOQ TIRMIZI

In terms of business opportunity and economic activity, the ICC Cricket World Cup seems to largely have a positive effect, if only because a lot of people seem to be making a lot more money than usual.

It is immediately obvious that the cricket players we see on advertisements around this time every four years probably make a lot of money during this time. One would even be able to conjecture that the channel actually broadcasting the match also makes money.

Less obvious might be the fact that even media outlets not directly broadcasting the World Cup also make money. Perhaps even more surprising is that rates for advertisements apparently do not go up during this time. So how exactly does everybody make more money? Here is a look at some of what goes on.

The mechanics of endorsement Cricket players in Pakistan are perennial stars and thus normally get endorsement deals year round, regardless of whether or not the team is actually playing any games. The World Cup, however, is a different animal altogether. A much larger proportion of consumer goods companies choose to make their advertising campaigns revolve around cricket and spend heavily on them.

According to sources familiar with the matter, the actual rates charged by players for endorsement deals do not change substantially during the World Cup. But because the amount of money they get is based on the duration and intensity of the advertising campaign as well as the variety of mediums (television, radio, print) that it appears on, they make more money simply by virtue of the fact that there are more cricket-related ads.

Sources inside the industry suggest that Wasim Akram can charge as much as Rs2.5 million for his appearances in an ad, and that number is likely to go up depending on how many places and how often the ad appears. Shahid Afridi, on the other

32 12 MARCH 20-26-2011

hand, seems more comfortable with yearly contracts that deliver a stable income, reportedly charging around Rs3 million for a year’s worth of his appearance in shampoo ads.

By comparison, the most famous non-cricketing athlete in Pakistan, tennis player Aisam ul Haq, charges a meagre Rs1 million for an endorsement contract.

Making it rain on the media Despite higher viewership, broadcasters of cricket matches reportedly do not charge more per advertising spot, especially to companies with whom they have established relationships, such as the mobile telecommunications providers and most of the large consumer goods companies. But as with endorsements, media outlets make money simply by having more spots to charge for.

For example, Geo Super, the broadcaster with exclusive cable transmission rights for the World Cup matches in Pakistan, charges Rs56 million for a “joint presentation” campaign — meaning a company has to pay that much if it was to say “Geo Super and Company X present the Cricket World Cup.” There are also those annoying ticket side-spot ads that make most viewers hate watching the match on Geo Super and why

Shahid Afridi, on the other hand, seems more comfortable with yearly contracts that deliver a stable income, reportedly charging around Rs3 million for a year’s worth of his appearance in shampoo ads. By comparison, the most famous non-cricketing athlete in Pakistan, tennis player Aisam ul Haq, charges a meagre Rs1 million for an endorsement.

those of us fortunate enough not to have WorldCall as our cable provider still watch it on Star Cricket. But those are lucrative for the broadcaster, which is reportedly able to charge around

during World Cup season, particularly during the days of im-

Rs20,000 for a ten-second ad.

portant matches, and not just when Pakistan is playing. Propri-

Broadcasters that not the only media outlet that makes money off the World Cup, though. Given the fact that many companies

etors, however, seemed unwilling to disclose exactly how much more business they were doing.

ramp up their advertising spending during cricket season, news-

On the other hand, some of the quieter places — those that one

papers, magazines and radio stations tend to get more sponsors

might go to for more intimate outings — seem to be struggling to

than usual, especially for their coverage of cricket. As with broad-

fill up their tables on game nights, especially since the ICC seems

casters, however, it appears that the driver of higher revenues is

to have decided to make most of the more-anticipated matches

not increased rates but a greater volume of ads.

on weekends during this tournament. Given that restaurants tend to do most of their business on weekends, fewer customers

The downside

on weekends has a disproportionately negative impact on their

Not every business is particularly happy about the World Cup

bottom line.

but perhaps most peeved are cinema owners. Anecdotal evidence

And while there are no comprehensive studies to prove this,

gathered from cinema employees in Karachi suggest that ticket

many people suspect that productivity at most service sector

sales at some theatres drop by more than half during cricket sea-

businesses declines sharply during the World Cup. Trading on

son and vanish altogether on the day of a Pakistan match. While

the Karachi Stock Exchange, for example, seems to be lower on

you may like the fact that some of Pakistan’s matches are on a

days that Pakistan is playing a match on a weekday. As a news-

weekend, you friendly local cinema owner probably does not.

paper editor, I can testify to the fact that reporters can be surpris-

The picture for restaurants is a little more mixed. Those eateries with large television screens seem to do a roaring business

Rs56 m

is what Geo Super charges for a ‘joint presentation’ campaign.

Rs2-3 m is what a star cricket player can expect to make on ads

ingly difficult to get hold of during a Shahid Afridi bowling spell.

So is it good?

Given these observations about how the World Cup impacts individuals and businesses, is it really good for the economy? I would answer that question, but Umar Gul just bowled a beautiful Yorker. I am going to watch the rest of the match now. a MARCH 20-26-2011

13 33

COMMENT

leg

break!

BY ADIL AHMAD

A no-holds-barred history of the game of cricket.

Cricket.What a strange game. Long leg, short leg, stump leg, break leg. All manner of mutilated folk.

A silly at mid on, and a silly at mid off. All slightly off. Blazing noonday sun with temperatures in the forties. Fifteen on ground. Thirty thousand on stands. Nation on strike. Yield per man hour zilch. An inexplicable madness. Talk about suntan. That’s how it got started, actually. Those devious, ingenious Englishmen, all Lords and Ladies. The winter season left them extra-white, so come summer and you had a legitimate excuse to stand around in the sun all day. So why did the West Indies take up Cricket?

They got talked into it. Talk about a deep tan!

Not content with just standing around and making polite applause for a well struck ball, this lucratively unemployed elite built strategy into what was otherwise a very dull game. Cricket was never conceived as a sport, merely something to pass the time with while restoring some colour to the complexion. The planners of British Imperialism seized upon its potential as an effective training ground for future generations of leadership. The armer, the legbreak, the inswinger, the outswinger, the reverse swinger, the backfoot, the late cut, and last but by no means least, the googly. All this turned a simple game of stick and ball into a major experience in strategy, planning and belligerence.

Each one of these three elements formed the core of an expansionist British policy.

The East India Company brought cricket to Calcutta. The fabled Eden Garden ground became the mainstay of cricket in the sub-continent. The few favoured locals were invited to join in a

34

game. The grandeur and haughtiness of the British Raj attracted MARCH 20-26 2011

the nawabs and maharajas who eagerly took to cricket, often wagering large chunks of their domain and losing it to an unbeatable adversary. The locals just did not play well enough, nor did they have the mind for strategy. The Mughal empire was a thing of the past, and Mansoor Pataudi and Wasim Akram had yet to be born.

With the passage of time, and the trials and tribulations inherent in the learning process, Her Majesty’s colonial subjects broke loose from the shackles of ignorance and perfected a stratagem at the crease which bested and bewildered their colonial masters.

Downunder to the rescue of the downtrodden. Don Bradman came of age, and mercilessly flogged the erstwhile floggers. The Lords and Masters were embarrassed beyond reason. Bodyline was born — and with it open hostility and naked aggression arrived on the sports field. It was ‘just not cricket’, and guess who coined this phrase?

The Aussies were both gifted and hard-working. As former convicts they carried a massive chip on their shoulders. The darkies perfected their own Caribbean nightmare, a high-speed projectile delivered from a massive height. The fathers of cricket had given birth to a ‘bastard’ flock which now reacted in dastardly fashion. Sobers, Kanhai, Lloyd, Richards threw painful spanners in the English works. The battle was carried to the English soil, and pretty soon the only saving grace left for the tormented erstwhile masters was the intrinsic majesty of the ground at Lords and the Oval. The English love for tradition kept their selectors in a high state of inebriation. They were a lordly, honorary class who made their choices through the haze of pre-lunch cocktails.

In the subcontinent, the spirit of a newly-acquired independence caused the nawabs to play alongside the less fortunate.

The result was remarkable, and a further pain in the English rear. The Indians and Pakistanis were born to rule, but alas had spent two hundred years playing second fiddle. This may not have constituted as large a chip as the Aussies carried, but it was sufficient to rekindle their desire to excel.

The end product was usually a team in a hurry to get off the field.

In the subcontinent, the spirit of a newly-acquired independence caused the nawabs to play alongside the less fortunate. The result was remarkable, and a further pain in the English rear. The Indians and Pakistanis drew their line of descent to the most ancient

about. Added to this is the fact that the subcontinent’s cricket-

of civilisations. In their heritage lay proud dynasties. They were

ers have astounded and confounded the very best in the world,

born to rule, but alas had spent two hundred years playing second

and risen to the top of the world rankings. While talk of racism

fiddle. This may not have constituted as large a chip as the Aussies

remains impolite, the fact can no longer be ignored that the so-

carried, but it was sufficient to rekindle their desire to excel.

called white societies with their pervasive control over the me-

The forces at work on cricket in the modern period of the game

dia, have deliberately targeted with intent to tarnish the leading

have pulled it apart at the seams. Kerry Packer showed the boys

lights of the subcontinent, specially its cricketers. Whether it

their true worth. The cricket boards went overboard trying to rec-

was ball-tampering or the current allegations of match fixing,

tify the situation, but proved to be poor crisis managers. South Af-

the Pakistani and Indian role models have borne the brunt of the

rica added its two bits to an already smouldering situation. Black

assault, and been hung, drawn and quartered by a media trial

was back and the bottom-line looked good! England changed

based on conjecture.

four captains in a season, and Immie, the Khan-e-khanan from

With the subcontinent playing host to the World Cup once

Pakistan, became larger than the game and life itself. Television

again, conditions are fertile for ‘sensational disclosures’ that will

has brought about a quantum transformation in the social and

attempt to take down our best and brightest, and the scandal

financial dynamics of cricket. The epicenter of cricket has shifted

mongers are champing at the bit. Given the foot-in-mouth dis-

decisively to the subcontinent with its billion plus cricket-crazy

ease raging in epidemic proportions at the top levels of cricket

individuals that guarantee the kind of television box office suc-

management in Pakistan we had best hunker down in anticipa-

cess that the traditional bastions of cricket could never dream

tion of the barrage of bouncers to be delivered off the field. A MARCH 20-26 2011

35

FEATURE Few things will make one sick to the stomach as quickly as some of the mementoes of the 1971 war at the Liberation War Museum in Dhaka. Tucked away

in a lane in the suburbs of Segun Bagicha, the museum documents

the events that led to the creation of Bangladesh, and preserves the mementoes and photographs of those that fought in the war.

As a Pakistani schooled in a sanitised version of history, the

death in

museum makes one cringe with revulsion. Skulls and bones re-

covered from a killing field in Mirpur, Dhaka, stare at you from a

dhaka

The Liberation War Museum in Dhaka reminds Pakistanis of a history their rulers would rather have them forget.

BY HUMA IMTIAZ

glass cupboard. A black and white image shows vultures picking at the bodies of those left for dead. In another image, a snake is

stretched out on the back of a dead body — an unknown victim of the cyclone that battered East Pakistan in 1970, and led to increased feelings of alienation amongst East Pakistanis with the

slow aid response from West Pakistan. Lewd sketches of women are among the graffiti found in a Pakistan Army camp.

My tour guide turns to me, “You tell me, how can we forgive

or forget this?” Umm-e-Hani Shoily is a college student and, though this is her third visit to the museum, some of the images still fill her with horror.

Occupying a two-storeyed house, the Liberation War Museum

documents the history of East Pakistan from the days of British

Rule to 1971. Established in 1996 by the Liberation War Museum trust, a group of individuals focused on preserving and presenting history, the museum is funded by the Government of Bangladesh and donations from an NGO and individuals. Images of

slain army officers, women and intellectuals dot the walls and a

separate room is dedicated to notable personalities that led the war. Amena Khatun, an archivist and curator at the museum, says the place sees up to 150 visitors every day. The collection of

pictures and mementos has been primarily given by private donors. “This is amazing, people feel the urge to preserve their belongings and their history,” says Khatun.

Khatun is amongst the millions of Bangladeshis who lost a

loved one in 1971 — her father, a furniture shop owner and supporter of the Mukti Bahini, went missing in May 1971. His body was never found.

In 1999 hundreds of skulls and bones were discovered in a mass

grave in Dhaka. “A Bihari man, who had been involved in the

massacre told us about this mass grave, which was then excavated with the help of the authorities. There are many killing fields

The images at the Liberation War Museum fill visitors with

36 horror.

MARCH 20-26 2011

around here.”

Though the man who pointed out the location of the killing

field is still free, Khatun is optimistic: “We can’t trace everyone,

but the war crimes tribunal is working on identifying and trying the main culprits involved in these incidents.”

Arriving in Bangladesh as the Cricket World Cup 2011 kicked

off in Dhaka, all one could see in the capital were green and

red flags; the patriotism in the air was palpable. But with the

patriotism, there is a constant reminder everywhere in Dhaka of what 1971 stood for. On walls, there are sketches of the 1971

war — including an image of a Pakistan Army soldier snatch-

ing a Bengali girl’s dupatta. “We don’t hate Pakistanis,” says Shouli. “But everyone here has lost someone in the war: fathers, brothers, sisters, mothers.”

Khatun sums up the patriotism of Bengalis, “We went

“A Bihari man, who had been involved in the massacre told us about this mass grave, which was then excavated with the help of the authorities. There are many killing fields around here.”

through 200 years of British rule, and then the Pakistan rule, after which we got our own nation.”

Even those who didn’t lose a direct relation in the war suf-

fered, like Swatee Majid, the owner of the house where the museum is currently based. “Our entire family was scattered, some of them had to leave,” she says. “When we were part of

Pakistan, they never accepted us, or our language. What has changed since 1971 though is that we’ve become more rough in terms of our natures as a result of what happened.”

Khatun feels that a way forward would be for the Govern-

ment of Pakistan to apologise and acknowledge the events

leading up to and of 1971. “Its not possible to forget, especially for those who lost everything. Pakistan must apologise.”

According to Mofid ul Haque, one of the trustees of the mu-

seum, “The idea is to move beyond the conflict. We have to learn lessons from the events and look at the reasons as to why this happened.”

But with Pakistan unwilling to accept responsibility, the

possibility of that seems remote. The Hamood ur Rehman

Commission report, which was supposed to investigate the

events of the 1971 War, states: “According to the Bangladesh authorities, the Pakistan Army was responsible for killing three million Bengalis and raping 200,000 East Pakistani

women. It does not need any elaborate argument to see that these figures are obviously highly exaggerated.”

Despite testimony given by military officers to the effect that

massacres of innocent people did take place — for example:

“Lt Col SM Naeem (Witness No 258) CO of 39 Baluch said “in-

nocent people were killed by us during sweep operations and it created estrangement amongst the public” — textbooks, political and military leaders continue to whitewash the documented massacre and rape of Bengali men and women.

“What amazes me, after one looks at all of this (in the muse-

um), is that there is still war and conflict going on,” says Majid.

Haque concurs, “We must move beyond the conflict — it’s a

difficult challenge, but we must start the process. We’ve presented facts and documents at the museum, but we will continue to ask why this happened.” a

Artifacts at the museum, among them skulls and bones 37 discovered from a mass grave in Dhaka.

MARCH 20-26 2011

FEATURE

between two

worlds

Raj Kumari’s frail exterior cloaks a remarkable resilience of spirit.

BY HAROON KHALID

The first time I met Raj Kumari, she had walked over a kilometer just to meet me. This fragilelooking lady showed no signs of exhaustion, which is remarkable, given that she is 72 years old. Raj Kumari’s tale is extraordinary — she straddles multiple roles and identities, and has lived through all kinds of adversity.

Every day, after she wakes up at the crack of dawn, Raj Kumari prays and begins to clean her home. When her ILLUSTRATION: S.JAMAL.K

sons wake up, she helps her daughters-in-law

prepare

breakfast. When her sons set out to go to work, Raj cleans the street outside the family home, and then sets off to the market to get food for the household — she won’t allow

40 38

her daughters-in-law to do MARCH MARCH20-26 20-262011 2011

the work, so she does it herself. Raj herself doesn’t eat meat or chicken, she wouldn’t even if she could afford it. She remembers times when things were much harder for her — it all began when she was married off when she was 12 years old, to a man who was over 50.

Raj says she left her house for the first time ever when she got married. An orthodox Hindu with a traditional mindset, her father didn’t believe in educating women, allowing his daughter to make friends or even letting the little girl interact with children her own age. She was told that making friends would corrupt

“There was a time when Muslims considered us untouchables; they wouldn’t eat from our plates or glasses, but not so much anymore.”

her mind and, because of her extremely sheltered upbringing, Raj says she cried like a baby when she got married and left her house. Raj’s father was a famous musician, as were her brothers, and she too had wanted learn. But decent girls didn’t do that… according to her father.

Raj soon had to contend with family pressure to have a baby.

She didn’t conceive until she was 16, so for the four years she spent childless after her marriage, her in-laws used to try to convince her husband to divorce her. They would also hit her — Raj recalls how she was beaten with a wooden stick for not cutting vegetables properly.

Raj’s husband died when he was 62, leaving Raj alone to fend for her children, two boys and a girl. She managed to get a job

and Holi in a more low-key manner. In the past they used to light

at a Christian missionary school, where she worked for 35 years.

lamps on the walls of their houses, but not anymore.

At the time, Hindus mixed freely with Christians. Coming from

For Diwali, Raj draws a colorful rangoli in the courtyard. She

an orthodox background, Raj couldn’t repudiate her Hindu tra-

only knows one style, a box with diagonal crosses. At the center

ditions but she didn’t have an issue with picking up Christian

she places a lump of flour; she doesn’t know the significance but

practices. So along with Diwali and Holi, she started celebrat-

she has seen her mother and mother-in-law do it and knows that

ing Easter and Christmas. She had never read the Gita, nor had

it is essential. On Holi the rest of the Hindu/Christian family

she learned the hymns of the Veda. But at the school where

gets together at her place, and they have a family dinner. They

she worked she memorised verses from the Bible and Christian

don’t throw colours on each anymore neither do they visit any

prayers. Every morning she would stand in front of a picture of

of the Hindu temples: “Because it is too dangerous,” according

Durga Mata, and pray to her Christian god. She also taught her

to Raj. “There was a time when Muslims considered us untouch-

children to pray according to Christian tradition.

ables; they wouldn’t eat from our plates or glasses, but not so

Raj promised herself that she would not be the sort of mother-

much anymore,” she says.

in-law her own mother-in-law was. Both her sons married girls

By virtue of her religion, Raj belongs to one of societies most

from devout Hindu families in Bahawalnagar. She remembers

oppressed and ostracised groups. Being a Hindu, she, by default,

how, when she was performing the arti of her eldest daughter-

receives fewer privileges, and fewer opportunities for social and

in-law, people from the neighborhood shouted, “Where have

economic empowerment. Being a woman she is subjected to fur-

these Hindus come from!” She had been living in the neighbour-

ther discrimination and oppression within an already oppressed

hood for five years prior to that, in a house that was gifted to her

minority. Yet she is a survivor, battling against the odds. She has

by her school, and this issue had never come up in all of that

a house of her own now, and her two sons, who live in her house,

time. Since she had been in the Christian section of the area, the

earn enough money to provide for the family. Despite her obsta-

surrounding families had just assumed they too were Christian.

cles, Raj has steered her life into a positive direction. At the end

“I was scared,” Raj says. “I have been calling myself a Christian

of our meeting she tells me that she has never made any friends

ever since.” Now, when Christmas rolls around they decorate

and feels lonely now, as she is growing old, as there is no one to

their house just like their neighbours, but they celebrate Diwali

share her memories with. A

39 MARCH 20-26 2011

FEATURE

Hasn’t it become impossible to keep track of the number of times you brush away a child standing at your car window begging for money in exchange for ‘duas’? We also lose count of the number of times we have all placated ourselves by either giving the child loose change or by telling ourselves that not giving them cash has helped us prevent the vicious and predatory cycle of begging from repeating itself.

For you and I, this is quite literally a win-win situation. Paying

the child off lets us feel benevolent, and not paying them makes us ‘socially responsible’.

The reality is that we really don’t care — which is unfortunate,

especially since there is now a legal framework in place to deal with street children, at least in the Punjab.

If there was ever a time to take ‘the law into our own hands’,

this is it. The Punjab Destitute and Neglected Children Bill 2004 gives the provincial government the exclusive right to rescue

begging children from the streets, assume custody of them under the Child Protection Court and then rehabilitate them in spe-

cial centres, providing them with food, clothing, counselling and schooling. The child’s parents are then brought in for ques-

begging fo

tioning and the Child Protection Bureau (CPB) has the final say

on whether or not they qualify for financial assistance, microfinance, skills training or a stint in prison. All one has to do is dial 1121.

When I called 1121 to report my daily sighting of three street

children near Hussain Chowk on Monday, I was told the centre would “try and pick them up as soon as possible”. I called in

the next day and a very courteous representative told me that

BY MARIA AMIR

the centre only manages around two or three rescue missions a month because they simply don’t have the resources to manage

more. Lahore Child Protection Bureau assistant district head Ul-

people I talked to, it was a combination of all three factors. “I

1122 has. We only have one van but we do what we can. If more

honest I don’t know if it would make any difference if I did,”

fat Abbas said: “Well, we don’t have the resources that Rescue people called in then we would do more.”

This begs the question: why don’t more people call in? Is it

because we’re so apathetic that we don’t feel sympathy for a

frankly never knew there was a place to call. But if I’m being says Madiha Haroon, a Beaconhouse National University student.

Granted, public participation does not guarantee that the

five-year-old begging on the streets? Is it because we don’t

government will be able to eliminate the menace of child

problem? Or is it simply because we don’t even know that a pro-

plain. Personally, I am inclined to adhere to the ‘if you don’t

really think the government will ever do anything about the gramme to rehabilitate street children exists? For most of the

begging but it does give us — the public — the right to com-

try to make it better you’re only making it worse’ logic. It therefore becomes my duty to call in every time I see a begging, starving child, before I can complain that the govern-

40

ment is shirking its responsibility and allowing an entire MARCH 20-26 2011

generation to be squandered on the streets rather than suc-

clothed and schooled and is less likely to end up on the streets.

What we need to do is put enough pressure on the government to act on this law and the mechanism in place to implement it.”

Ulfat Abbas tells me that the average beggar has three or four of

his kids in ‘the business’. “This man will probably earn Rs1,600 a day from his children, why would he bother working then? Also the younger the child the more likely they are to make money.

That’s why we keep seeing younger and younger kids taking to the trade,” he said.

The Child Protection Bureau (CPB) has five offices in other

Punjab districts and yet the response rate is underwhelming.

One would think that our government, having the right to pick children off the streets would exercise this privilege more often, especially given that thousands of children are seen begging on

streets all over the country. This is not being done and one of the

major gaps in the strategy seems to be virtually no media attention given to the issue.

That said, this organisation’s efforts, and its purpose, are com-

mendable. The CPB has three squads for all of Lahore and these are charged to deal with domestic violence, lost children and beg-

or salvation

Can you save a child from the begging mafia simply by dialling a number? ceed in school.

gars. One doesn’t need to be a genius to see that their budget as

well as human resources have been stretched far too thin. Public

participation would shed light on the issue and also place pressure on the government to pursue the matter more effectively.

“One thing no one wants to admit is that the issue isn’t be-

ing promoted because we don’t really know how to take it up if it were. This is a mammoth task and if we were serious then

it would require more resources devoted to the cause. It would

need to be 24 hours a day,” says NGO worker Shireen Tariq.

Calling a number isn’t enough but it is definitely a start if we are serious about eliminating child labour and beggary in this country.

I recently took up a challenge meted out by a 1121 operator. She

“A lot of this is political. When the programme was started in

said that if enough people called in then there would be more

cial government has taken the helm they have tried to debunk

I have stopped giving alms to begging children because I realise

2005 there was a lot of publicity but ever since the new provinit,” says founder of the programme and former CPB chairperson Faiza Asgher. Politics inevitably has a role to play in every public

scheme instituted in our country but then again so does public

participation. The latter is presently just as ineffective as the government.

“There is simply no sense of civic duty in our people. We all

perpetuate it. Let us just consider this: if we call 1121 the next

pressure on the government to take the programme seriously. So I am doing them no favours by furthering their suffering on our

streets. Instead I have taken to carrying a packet of Cadbury’s

éclairs to be handed out and every time I see a street child I make a call. It has been three days and 23 calls. The centre now knows my name and I think I am getting on their nerves.

Which is kind of the point. a

time we see a child on the street and the authorities actually pick him or her up, that child’s life will change,” says child psy-

41

chiatrist Amna Wahab, adding, “The child will be washed, fed, MARCH 20-26 2011

COMMENT

spare

change

A look into ourselves, and why we despise the beggar.

Most prejudices, such as those against skin colour, class, or profession, are formed slowly over a period of time. You can rarely remember when you began to form certain prejudices, and for this reason many prejudices are perceived by their holder to be perfectly logical. Many would argue that the immorality of begging is clear and unquestionable, and our contempt for those who beg lies on a firm foundation of reason.

I have a very clear recollection of the moment I became aware

of the ‘wrongness’ of begging. My grandmother and I were in the

asserting my opinions and helping society. Also, one could not ignore the sheer inconvenience of it. Men and women walking

on the streets making nuisances of themselves: entreating and beseeching; displaying festering sores and broken limbs; carry-

ing thirsty and heat-exhausted babies. No, I would have no part in encouraging this.

With ideas like these in mind, we can dismiss the people who

come rapping on our car windows, and feel a very definite thrill of morality. If we were to examine our ideas, they would crumble like dust.

The most prevalent of the feel-good myths is the one about

backseat of our car when we stopped at a traffic light and an old

making a statement by refusing money to beggars: if nobody

held a sleeping infant. My grandmother turned sharply towards

income. However, it is ludicrous to imagine that money with-

woman tapped at the window, asking for money. In her arms she her: “Why don’t you work for money?” she said. “Come home with me now and I’ll give you a job and a salary.” The woman smiled a helpless, apologetic smile.

The realisation that this woman did not want to work hit me

like a thunderbolt. She wanted our money for free, I thought in shock. The idea that my grandmother was bluffing skimmed my mind briefly — after all, she already had servants and even if she

didn’t she wouldn’t pick someone up from the streets like this.

Still, despite having no knowledge of the beggar woman’s past or her personal situation, I declared her in my mind to be lazy

and stupid. Over the years I honed and polished my arguments.

Giving to beggars would perpetuate the culture of begging, and

encourage those criminals that maimed young children and

42

BY AYESHA SIDDIQI

gave them money they would be forced to find other means of held from begging hands is a step towards the fight against homelessness and unemployment. It is the same logic as that of

the inverse gesture: feeling a flush of virtue from giving a hun-

gry man a loaf of bread and believing that in so doing you are fighting famine. The truth is that our petty and occasional do-

nations to beggars do not sustain begging culture. It is poverty that sustains begging culture. Until our nation is lifted out of poverty, there will be people who will beg for money. Our actions actually serve to aggravate rather than remedy the situation because, by confusing the symptoms for the disease, we

are missing the real aim: to reconstruct society in a way as to eliminate poverty.

It is also said that beggars do not work, but one should think

sent them to the streets. The money would end up being spent

over this a few minutes. Braving the city streets on one’s feet

finding ‘real work’. By withholding my money from them, I was

than, for example, adding up figures on an Excel spreadsheet in

on drugs, and would only discourage the beggars further from MARCH 20-26 2011

all day in the pursuit of money could be considered harder work

“If you throw a stick to a dog he will run after it unthinkingly.

If you throw it to a lion, he will turn around to see where it came from.”

an air-conditioned office cubicle. George Orwell, in his wonder-

arduous hilltops, and when all is done, find humanity in-

any other; quite useless, of course — but then many reputable

the unphysical … literary people despise the unlettered; and

ful short essay on this topic, describes begging as, “a trade like trades are quite useless.” Orwell believes that the only thing that

society respects when it comes to work is profitability and our reason for despising beggars is the fact that they don’t earn suf-

different to your achievement. Hence, physicists condemn people of all pursuits combine to disparage those who have none.”

It is not rare to question our jobs, to wonder whether we really

ficient money.

are happy and it becomes necessary to tell ourselves that what

he is usually one who makes a great deal of money. Yet, respect-

cause that we are striving towards. It helps to have a society that

It is certainly true that when one talks of a ‘successful man’,

ability is associated with profitability only to a certain degree.

The starving poet, for example, may be accorded a great deal of

respect by society. Also, in the case of our attitudes towards the Pakistani woman, there is a kind of snobbery associated with the

unemployed. Many people don’t like the idea of their wives and daughters not working. There must be more to our disgust of the

we are doing has worth and meaning, that there is an ultimate

reinforces and reflects our worth back onto us. So perhaps, as

Stevenson hints, those that beg for money are, in their very ac-

tion, demeaning the employed. By ignoring the tapping on that

window, we may be trying to ignore other tappings in deeper and darker places.

It is human instinct to classify things into good and bad, hero

begging profession than what Orwell proposes.

and villain. Certain people — prostitutes, thieves, and beggars —

strange really, to imagine their meager earnings ‘draining’ our

ourselves from these people and dehumanise those that we villia-

We tell ourselves that beggars are a drain on society. But it is

wealth, especially since a small minority of the population — industrialists, landowners and politicians — are, in reality, benefactors of a large proportion of total money earned in Pakistan.

Much of their money is spent abroad or sealed in bank accounts, and could therefore be described more accurately as a drain.

are ‘bad’: undeserving of our respect or compassion. We remove nise. “When one has consorted with them, and found that they

are ordinary human beings,” Orwell says of beggars, “one can-

not help being struck by the curious attitude that society takes towards them.”

Before deciding to cast stones, it is imperative to question the

Then there are the ordinary working men and women, upon

distinctions that we make all too readily. In other words, we

dependent. Working hard for our daily bread, the idea of a per-

tells us, “If you throw a stick to a dog he will run after it unthink-

whom both the exorbitantly wealthy and the street beggars are son demanding money from us for no services rendered is offen-

sive to our sense of self. Robert Louis Stevenson in his essay, ‘An Apology for Idlers’ sums it up like this,

“It is a sore thing to have laboured along and scaled the

must look in the mirror. There is an old Buddhist proverb that ingly. If you throw it to a lion, he will turn around to see where it came from.” In the times we live, of intolerance, value judg-

ments and of a pervasive and growing selfishness, it is important to sit still for a moment and stop chasing sticks.a

MARCH 20-26 2011

43

FEATURE

changing

opinions

BY SAID NAZIR

Religious clerics, once staunch opponents of the anti-polio campaign, are now vaccinating children with their own hands.

44

Mufti Zia ur Rehman has had a change of heart. For many years he bitterly opposed polio vaccinations in his native village of Ghundri, located in Jamrud tehsil of Khyber agency. Like many of his colleagues in the tribal areas, he believed that polio drops caused infertility and contained impure substances like urine. The attitude of men like him contributed to Khyber agency becoming one of

MARCH 20-26 2011

the worst hit areas in the country — with a record 36 polio cases

in 2010 alone. In fact, out of 11 cases reported in Pakistan this year, six are from Khyber agency. But the efforts of health de-

partment officials and the obvious plight of the victims did little to convince the mufti of the danger that his views posed to the people he ministered.

All that changed on November 3, 2010. On that date a semi-

nar was held at The Shaikh Zaid Islamic center at the Agriculture

University of Peshawar which was attended by 700 renowned religious scholars and clerics from KPK and FATA. Organised by the

National Research and Development Foundation (NRDF) with financial support from UNICEF, the event brought ulema and

health officials face to face. After much debate and discussion, the ulema issued a unanimous decree stating that there were no

harmful substances in polio drops and urged clerics to support the anti-polio campaign to save children from the crippling disease. To

do so conforms with the dictates of Islam, they categorically stated.

It was no accident that the majority of religious scholars were of

the Deobandi school, says Tehseenullah, the chief coordinator for

NRDF. The Deobandi ulema enjoy great influence in KPK and FATA and have historically opposed polio vaccinations.

“After listening to my teacher Dr Sher Ali Shah sahib in the semi-

nar I decided to give up my opposition to the anti-polio campaign

and start vaccinating children in my village with my own hands in

Maulana Hizbullah vaccinates children.

order to save them from this disability,” said a determined Mufti Zia-ur-Rehman who had previously been a staunch opponent of polio vaccinations.

ing that the senior ulema directed them to change their stance. “We

place, he claimed he had never been provided any proof that the

region without charging any fees, as it is our religious and moral

When asked why he had opposed the vaccinations in the first

drops did not cause infertility. He also referred to a news report that

Maulana Haneef Jalandri, the head of Wefakul Madaris-e-Pakistan

will continue our efforts, till we eradicate the polio virus from our duty to protect our children,” he declares.

NRDF’s project aims to convert opponents of the polio campaign

had declared administration of polio drops to children un-Islamic.

into allies. Besides a core group at every district and agency level,

decreed that polio drops did not contain anti-fertility elements,

mons and announcements and convinces chronic refusers during

In the ulema congregation, Mufti Zubair Usmani personally

as testified by a medical laboratory at Dar-ul-Uloom Karachi and the National Institute of Health (NIH) Islamabad.

With his fears finally laid to rest, Mufti Zia says, “We are now

bound to follow the decree of our senior ulema and correct our misconception about polio drops.”

“My fellow ulema like Mufti Siraj and Mufti Khan Muhammad

were against the polio campaign but after I held meetings with

them and showed them Dr Sher Ali Shah’s decree they changed their stance and became supporters of polio eradication,” Zia-ur-

a network of 60-80 ulema advocate polio vaccinations through serthe campaign.

Now, the project has even been extended into what were once

conflict zones. In two district of Bajaur and Mohmand Agencies and two districts of Swat and Buner, NRDF started a pilot project in

December 2009, following the successful military offensive against

Mullah Fazlullah’s Taliban faction. “Fazlullah had been a fervent opponent of vaccination, calling it a Western conspiracy to sterilise

Muslim children,” says Iqbal Khan, the office manager of the NRDF. But after the defeat of the Swat Taliban, a joint edict was signed

Rehman added. The approach is clearly working: “Within the last

by 288 local ulema which declared polio vaccinations halal and in

Jamrud and reduced 292 cases to 140 in Landikotal tehsil of Khyber

project has been extended to 14 more districts of KPK and four agen-

four months we have covered 417 chronic religious refusal cases in

Agency with the help of local ulema led by Mufti Zia,” said Attuallah, a coordinator of NRDF for Khyber Agency.

But this sudden change of heart hasn’t been accepted by all. Muf-

ti Zia says that some of his followers suspect the ulema have been ‘bought’ by the government, an allegation he strongly denies, say-

18

districts and agencies of KPK and FATA are becoming involved in the project to gain support for polio drops.

288

ulema signed an edict declaring polio vaccinations halal.

accordance with the teachings of Islam. Buoyed by this success, the

cies of Fata including Khyber, Orakzai and the North and South Waziristan.

Maulana Abdul Ghani who runs a madrassa in Bannu was against

polio vaccination for years but last year NRDF convinced him of the

necessity of polio immunisation. He has now become a polio supporter and runs campaigns against the crippling disease in North and South Waziristan.

According to the NRDF coordinator, there is no longer any opposi-

tion to polio immunisations amongst prayer leaders in target areas.

The only problem the anti-polio drive faces is access to areas where military operations are underway. He said, “We run our campaign in Taliban strongholds like North Waziristan without any fear.” a

MARCH 20-26 2011

45

REVIEW

featured review of the week

book in search of lost ethics

BY UMAIR KHAN

In The Moral Landscape, Sam Harris takes a commendable stab at convincing the general public that moral issues can be discussed and debated within the rational domain, facilitated by scientific findings, and need not to be confined to the theological realm.

Harris is well known in scholarly circles for his earlier works, The End of Faith and Letter to a Christian Nation. In The Moral Landscape, Harris defines morality in terms of the “well-being of conscious creatures” and claims that science, especially neuroscience, psychology, sociology, and anthropology, can help us determine how to maximise our well being. His view of human well-being is not restricted to the concept of happiness described by Benthamite utilitarianism – that the greatest happiness for the greatest number should be the ultimate goal of humans. He comes closer to the ‘Capabilities Approach’ developed by economist Amartya Sen and political philosopher Martha Nussbaum which takes several other factors into account in order to determine human well-being.

Traditionally, there have been two views on how to distinguish good from bad, and right from wrong. According to the approach championed by religious scholars, something is good or bad because divine commandments proclaim it to be so. Socrates highlighted the dilemma with this approach: If something becomes good or bad by divine declaration then it seems to be an arbitrary phenomenon, but if something is intrinsically good or bad then humans can identify its true nature independently.

The second approach is that of ‘Moral Relativism’ based on the premise that reason cannot find definite answers to moral questions. It entails that all moral systems are equally valid. It is an exaggerated form of multiculturalism thriving on political correctness which advocates tolerance, even of intolerance. Harris challenges this approach vehemently by presenting lucid arguments and remarkable examples to substantiate his thesis. He argues that it is 48 the consequence of an act that determines whether that act adds MARCH 20-26 2011

brain wave Harris adds to existing debates by bringing in cutting edge research on neuroscience and cognitive psychology

The book has generated ripples in the philosophical and scientific world. Multiple critiques have been produced in a very short period of time. Philosophers of ethics are mostly appalled by the lack of philosophical rigour in the book.They object to the idea of finding answers to moral questions without exhausting all the theories propounded by philosophers throughout centuries.

towards human well-being or suffering. So, Harris takes a consequentialist approach on ethics.

Harris adds to these debates by bringing in cutting edge research on neuroscience and cognitive psychology. He explains how neuroscience can be used to determine human well-being as a state of mind. How we will be able to tell whether people are lying by examining their brain activity? How will a better understanding of the human brain’s functions help us devise enhanced or improved teaching and learning methods? The shift from behavioural psychology to cognitive psychology a couple of decades ago is the hallmark of this approach. Behavioural psychology only focused on stimuli and responses, i.e. apparent behaviour. Cognitive psychology takes a radically different approach. The mind becomes the centre of inquiry to understand psychological, social, economic, and even moral issues.

The book has generated ripples in the philosophical and scientific world. Multiple critiques have been produced in a very short period of time. Philosophers of ethics are mostly appalled by the lack of philosophical rigor in the content of the book. They object to the idea of finding answers to moral questions without exhausting all the theories propounded by philosophers throughout centuries.

Furthermore, they question the way Harris has defined moral values in terms of human well-being. Some critics even question why we should bother to maximise human well-being in the first place. However, on a parallel level, these critics fail to prove why their mundane definition of moral value should be preferred over Harris’s.

Philosophers of science defy the way Harris has abandoned an old established tradition of separating the world of facts from values. David Hume, G E Moore and Karl Popper say that morals can not be determined by an examination of the natural world. Eminent psychologists like Jerry Fodder have also followed this line. In their opinion, by examining how the world is, one cannot determine how the world ought to be. This is/ought dichotomy has plagued discourse on ethics for ages. Harris does not say that there has to be only one correct answer to all moral questions. But this does not mean that we cannot segregate wrong answers from the right ones in the light of their impact upon human well-being.

In the end, we must remind ourselves that The Moral Landscape is not the final word on the subject. Rather, it merely shows us the way forward to building a science of morality with the ongoing 49 advancements in other areas of science.

MARCH 20-26 2011

REVIEW

film nine lives

BY NOFIL NAQVI

Thai filmmaker Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s latest film Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives is a nostalgic exploration of the magical, mysterious and the miraculous. It reminds me of stories I used to hear while I was growing up — stories about spirits, jinns and how our ancestors dealt with death. This was a time when the supernatural was a part of everyday life, when people cohabited with ghosts, prepared for their deaths with calm and understanding, in fact their entire relationship with death was completely different. No doubt this also had a lot to do with influences from various sub-continental religions. Buddhism, the predominant religion in Thailand, being one of them.

In the movie, Boonmee (Thanapat Saisaymar) brings his sisterin-law Jen (Jenjira Pongpas) to his farm in rural Thailand, where he is preparing for his imminent death. He is suffering from kidney failure, and requires frequent dialysis. Boonmee has decided to leave everything to Jen. On the first night as they are having dinner, they are visited by the ghost of Boonmee’s wife Huay. Both Boonmee and Jen deal with this situation quite well. Tong (Sakda Kaewbuadee), the only young person on the table, is a bit freaked out. Soon, they are joined by Boonmee’s son, who died ages ago and has now turned into a kind of creature of the forest. The conversation that ensues is intense and sets the mood for the rest of the film.

From time to time we see flashbacks from Boonmee’s previous lives, but without the obvious flashes and colour treatment that dumbed-down Hollywood movies would throw in. The movie begins with one: a parable in which a restless buffalo breaks free, only to find that there is nowhere that it really wants to go. Death, karma, human relationships and spirituality are the major themes of this brilliantly made movie. Finally, it is time for Boonmee to go, and Huay’s ghost leads him to the place where his spirit was perhaps first born. Here he recalls what would be his last dream, 50 one of the future. This in itself is fascinating because uptill now MARCH 20-26 2011

looking glass Death, karma, human relationships and spirituality are this brilliantly made movie’s major themes we have only dealt with the past, and now at the time of death, we see the only vision of the future. Weerasethakul has chosen to illustrate the narrative of this dream using pictures, some of which are quite comical. Boonmee says that in his dream the people of the future shine a light at ‘past people’ which projects images of them onto a screen, and this causes the ‘past people’ to disappear.

This light that they shine must be the camera, for the television certainly has a large part to play in the death of spirituality.

Uncle Boonmee... is beautifully shot by Yukontom Mingmongkon and Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, and the way they have shown night-time in the lush Thai jungles deserves special mention. Often cinematographers use filters and cheat night scenes while actually shooting during day, which invariably looks fake. But here, it is most definitely night: blue and mysterious. To watch Uncle Boonmee... you’ll have to be calm, as it progresses rather slowly, and you will also have to embrace the fantastical. The glowing red eyes of the monkey-ghost can look ridiculous if watched through only ‘modern’ eyes. And it is such eyes who fail to see the spiritual world. The tragedy is that if you stop believing, it ceases to exist.

book back to black

BY AMMARA KHAN

Though primarily a historian, Tariq Ali has made a reputation as a novelist with the publication of his Islam Quintet of historical novels. His recent book The Obama Syndrome: Surrender at Home, War Abroad is a radical analysis of the first thousand days of Obama’s presidency. No one could be better at deconstructing Obama’s presidency than Ali, a respected historian of left-wing sympathies, who has spent much of his career analysing liberal democracies and presenting his diagnosis of late capitalism.

Obama’s election as the president of the United States has become the romance of our times. His government was heralded as the beginning of a cultural reformation. “The emblematic significance of Obama’s victory should not be underestimated, but did it ever move beyond symbols?” asks Ali with the hindsight of Obama’s first 18 months in office. Obama is not the happy ending to Martin Luther King’s dream, according to Ali. Moving beyond the pointless rhetoric of change and hope that surround the Obama Effect, Ali positions it in the discourses surrounding late capitalism. He reveals the ineffectiveness of the Obama presidency and explains why it turned out to be so in two ways: by talking about the continuation of the same foreign policy and war on terror, and by revealing the past disastrous domestic politics in the financial, health care and education sector.

The world Ali unveils is a dystopia of imperial presidency. Although he has been repeatedly portrayed as a progressive by neoliberals, Obama is, in fact, a shrewd politician who would not stop at anything to achieve his goals which, the writer doesn’t forget to tell us, are just as bad as those of the previous US president. He writes: “The problem is that Obama, while an extremely intelligent human being, is not a progressive leader by any stretch of imagination. . . In reality, Barack Obama is a skilful and gifted machine politician who rapidly rose to the top.”

Ali’s detailed descriptions of the struggles of African Americans is disillusioning yet enlightening. He aptly quotes Malcolm X in the

colour me bad The writer paints Obama as a shrewd politician whose goals are just as deplorable as those of the previous US president

epigraph to his book and then carefully takes us back to the gaps in history that no one talks about. The masterful narration of the politics of the Black Panther Party and the gradual elimination of figures like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, and Hutton makes for extremely disturbing reading. Moving on, he surveys the Iraq and Afghan wars, and makes a penetrating evaluation of the Palestinian resistance.

A brilliant novelist and playwright, Ali’s approach towards politics and history has always been Marxist. He puts things in historical context by reframing certain facts. The resulting analysis is extraordinary, and the critical insight, wit and powerful prose writing makes for exhilarating reading. Though he has the ability to shock a new reader, Ali’s appeal is certainly not limited to those who share his political ideology.

51 MARCH 20-26 2011

UP NORTH AND PERSONAL

spring fever The writer has a spring in her step as she goes around her garden.

TEXT & PHOTOGRAPHS BY ZAHRAH NASIR

Joyous swallows perform incredible acrobatic feats across the intense blue sky against which the luscious pink of apricot and almond blossom glows with the promise of bounty to come. Slopes

above sea-level can be daunting. But the produce that I pick and

that were yellowed and brown just a couple of days ago are sud-

helps to soothe the inevitable aches and pains brought on by the

denly dotted with fresh emerald green and the bare branches of

hard labour. After an unbroken four-hour slog of bending, crouch-

deciduous trees are budding rapidly, serenaded as they are by the

ing, straightening up, weeding, hoeing and carrying debris to the

melody of courting birds. Even Mrs Joe has got into the swing

compost bin, my knees are painfully reminding me that I should

of things by laying another four eggs. Spring, my friends, has

go gently after a winter of relative rest and my upper back screams

finally arrived!

for an application of some heating to unknot it as I did get carried

As the dogs bask in the sunshine on the back doorstep, I me-

eat is precious beyond… well… certainly far beyond any of the predominantly toxic stuff offered at increasingly ludicrous prices in the shops. The very word ‘toxic’ sends shivers down my spine and

away in the enthusiasm engendered by the balmy day.

ander around the awakening garden, imagining how it will

The frightening issue of toxic fruit and vegetables is why my

look, after some incredibly hard work, later in the year: shiny

own patch of paradise is cared for in a purely organic way. No

purple, vibrant orange and snowy white aubergines waiting to

chemicals of any description allowed here as I work with, not

be harvested; huge red, black and yellow beefsteak tomatoes

against, nature. I have no intention of endangering my bodily

bursting with juice; enormous chillies and capsicums in a rain-

health by eating known poisons morning, noon and night and,

bow of colours; crisp lettuce to munch in summer salads; frothy

for those of you who question this assumption, let me elaborate.

endive, mouth-watering corn on the cob, new potatoes; and apri-

Commercially produced fruit, vegetables, grain and herbs are

cots, plums, peaches, nectarines, apples, persimmons, figs, al-

routinely sprayed with some very deadly poisons to prevent them

monds, quinces, damsons, lemons and purple grapes. The actual

being attacked by bugs and birds. Quite a high percentage of

reality rarely lives up to dream as, despite a bevy of innovative

these poisons are absorbed in the produce each and every time

precautions, since it is impossible to be on guard duty 24/7, por-

it is sprayed — which is often as pesticides are routinely sprayed

cupines will undoubtedly raid, two-legged thieves will make off

as a deterrent as well as a cure. These toxins remain in the fruit,

with prized specimens of something luscious, bugs will make a

vegetable, grain and herbs long after they have been harvested

dent as will my companions the birds and, just when the garden

and washing a cabbage before cooking it doesn’t eliminate the

is looking perfect, the weather will do something nasty!

poison. Which is why those of us lucky enough to have the op-

The amount of backbreaking labour that goes into cultivating

tion, should grow everything possible in a sensible, organic way.

and caring for half an acre of stubborn mountainside, 6,000 feet

For those still in doubt about the seriousness of this issue, let

MARCH 20-26 2011

me elaborate some more. The government of India has just been served with a court order instructing it to subject randomly purchased fresh produce to toxicity tests. This has come about in the wake of news reports claiming that pesticides banned in the western world are being routinely used in India and Chief Justice Dipak Misra of Delhi High Court had the sense to take this seriously, instructing the government to go out and buy fruit and vegetables from here and there and have them tested at certified laboratories. The gentleman has given them just five weeks to complete the exercise and present th e results. Investigations by an NGO called Consumer Voice revealed that fresh produce in the city is heavily contaminated with five banned pesticides.

Pakistani farmers, some home-growers too, rarely take the time to study the label on the pesticide they purchase for use on edible crops. To further compound the issue, they tend to be heavy-handed in its application, figuring that using more than specified will ensure ‘healthy’ crops, which is a complete misnomer if ever there was one!

Sub-continental culture being what it is and this region often being used as a dumping ground for items no longer acceptable in other parts of the world, there is no reason to think that what applies to Indian agricultural practices does not apply equally here in Pakistan. The well-known maxim ‘Let the buyer beware’ was never more

Spring has sprung.

First blossoms.

true than right now when everyone is being actively encouraged to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables in order to be fit and healthy.

Now, having got that off my chest, I will revert to more springlike issues.

Aaaah the heavenly wonder — having been able to shed two of my four layers of winter clothing — of being able to walk, not waddle around like a force-fed duck! If, as occasionally does happen, the weather forecast is correct, and temperatures continue their upward trend, then I should be able to don jeans and t-shirt within the next week or two. After a winter of eating myself warm on rib-sticking stuff like mutton stew and homemade cheese ‘n onion pies, I suspect that my jeans will refuse to zip — which anyone who has wriggled, struggled, then inadvertently almost passed out due to stomach skin being literally eaten by the damn zip will sympathise with. Spring, heavenly spring, means far more than carefree swallows performing effortless flybys, more than garden planning and chores, even more than no longer having to haul in firewood. Spring means time to fight winter-accumulated fat, tighten up sagging muscles, get in to salad gear and leap straight into dieting mode! a

53 MARCH 20-26 2011

CONSPIRACY CORNER

There you sit in the peace and quiet of your living room reading this magazine, blissfully unaware that even as you turn these pages, the lizards are plotting your downfall! No, not the little house lizard that sends so many of us into paroxysms of unreasoning terror and has sent many a henpecked husband in search of a broom.

I’m talking about the real lizards — humanoid, shape shifting

trans-dimensional aliens from the Draco constellation. Since

time immemorial, these slitty-eyed, green-hued aliens have infiltrated every branch of human society, using their shape-

scaly surprise

shifting powers to disguise themselves as our leaders, and now

control major governments, corporations and yes, even media houses.

But behind their kind, soft-skinned exteriors lies the scaly

truth…that they are in fact an evil race of blood-drinking, childeating reptiles determined to turn humanity into their slave food source.

This may sound like the plot for a bad science fiction movie or

TV show, but this is in fact a genuine belief held by a frighteningly large number of people. And their guru is a former goalkeeper,

writer and BBC sports announcer named David Icke (no, I didn’t make that last name up).

Icke first shot to lunatic-fringe fame in 1999, when he pub-

lished his book The Biggest Secret, claiming that just about all ‘hu-

man’ rulers from the pharoahs down to the British Royal family were in fact a bunch of man-eating lizards called the ‘Annunaki’.

Now, this may explain why Queen Elizabeth II seems to live forever and also, to some extent, why Prince Charles preferred Ca-

milla Parker-Bowles to Diana, but Icke doesn’t stop there. Also numbered among the scaly elite are Henry Kissinger, Hillary

Clinton, George Bush, Barack Obama, Bob Hope and Lady gaga.

The Bible of the Icke-o-philes

54 MARCH 20-26 2011

Okay, so that last one does make a modicum of sense.

But David isn’t content to just create his own

conspiracy theory, he also borrows and steals from just about each and every other conspiracy theory that exists. The Illuminati? Reptilians. Zionists? Reptilians The holocaust? Reptilians. 9/11?

You guessed it…reptilians.

In addition to sercretly enslaving

shed their disguise. Want proof? Look no further than YouTube,

where the lizard-hunters have posted video upon video of people displaying such obvious lizard-like signs as hissing (lisping), having their faces change (pixelating) or…well, blinking too

much. I tend to lisp and blink a great deal too, and that, coupled with the fact that I’m writing this, should have clued you in my extra-terrestial origins by now.

The belief would be pretty funny, until you realise that Icke

humanity, other favourite lizard pastimes include: drinking

regularly sells out lecture halls and sells a frighteningly large

lizards such unpleasant characters?

ians are they are still the sworn enemies of an even greater

blood, child abuse, satanism and genocide. So why are the

Because, as trans-dimensional beings, they feed on negative

vibrations and the only way to combat that is by either having

a good laugh or by wearing turquoise which, according to Icke-

number of books. But don’t despair — as evil as the reptilthreat…the Gray aliens. But that’s a conspiracy theory for another day. a

o-philes sends out good vibrations. Good vibrations disrupt the

lizards’ shape-shifting powers forcing them to momentarily

The Queen’s an alien

And so is Dick Cheney!

55 MARCH 20-26 2011

HOROSCOPE

BY SHELLEY VON STRUNCKEL

Aries March 20 - April 19 Prepare for the unexpected. True, deci-

sions won’t be yours to make and you’re facing chaos of several varieties. While it’s out of character, go with the flow. Life’s

about discovery. On the 12th the innovative Uranus moved into

Aries and on Monday meets the Sun in your sign. Unlikely as it seems now, shake-ups are freeing you from restrictive arrangements and lead to remarkable growth.

Taurus April 20 - May 20 For ages you’ve been telling yourself you’d deal with tricky issues involving those closest — loved

ones, intimate friends or offspring — when life was calmer. Now Shelley von Strunckel is an internationally acclaimed astrologer who created the first horoscope column for the London Sunday Times in 1992.

the events triggered by last Saturday’s emotionally intense Full Moon bring these to a head anyway. Address those issues frankly.

And speak from the heart. Challenging as this is initially, what you learn reassures you that it’s by far the best approach.

A frequent lecturer, she writes daily, weekly and monthly horoscopes in publications around the world including South China Morning Post, The Gulf News, Tatler, French and Chinese Vogue and now The Express Tribune Magazine.

Gemini May 21 - June 20 Life can’t be lived without organising

things. However, because you — and the world around you — are in the midst of a cycle of intense, often unexpected and ul-

timately worthwhile change, even simple plans won’t last long.

Knowing that, waste no time perfecting precise arrangements.

Instead, take chances on what intrigues you. At minimum you’ll learn a great deal. And, happily, some of those ideas will thrive.

Cancer June 21 - July 22 If you didn’t spot yesterday’s Full Moon

looming in the heavens, you’re bound be noticing its influence

on your mood and that of others. The resulting intensified feelings can be unsettling but also lead to powerful insights in otherwise bewildering situations. If you can monitor the flow of those

emotions, you’ll be able to discuss them, but rationally. The resulting insights could resolve seemingly inescapable issues.

Leo July 23 - August 22 Discussing new ideas when things are be-

ing turned upside down may not appeal. But actually those seem-

ingly unrealistic concepts could be key to your future. Because the developments triggered by big-time planetary activity trig-

gers similar changes on earth, this is about exploring what arises rather than reorganising things just once. If it’s been tough, begin and you’ll see — life will soon regain its lustre.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 While your swift mind and un-

canny knack for spotting the source of problems are genuine gifts, with all that thinking, you sometimes ignore your feelings. However, since yesterday’s Virgo Full Moon brought such

matters to an emotional head, you’ll now realising you’ve little

option but to delve into them. Challenging as the process is initially, what you learn will explain a much in your life that’s de-

56

feated intellectual analysis.

MARCH 20-26 2011

Libra September 23 – October 22 Being so attuned to relationships of

all varieties, you’ll be somewhat shocked to discover that you haven’t noticed various crises amongst those closest. But they haven’t ei-

ther. Between the recent Full Moon and productive but unsettling developments on the planetary front, even simple issues need to be

acknowledged and dealt with. And now. Hoping they’ll sort themselves out or putting them off will only complicate matters.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Few things annoy you more

than those who question you about facts — or feelings — you know to be correct. You’ve a unique a focus and intensity which,

mostly, precludes ordinary errors. However, this cycle of change is both unearthing past issues and shaking up here-and-now

situations. Inevitably this will reveal flaws in your thinking. Resist the temptation to defend your conclusions. What you learn promises life-changing insights.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Love and life’s joys are appearing in a range of forms, some long anticipated, others completely unexpected but all are exciting — yet unsettling. Certain

well meaning souls are encouraging you to impose order on these.

Do what you can. However, because this thrilling period continues until early June, any plans would only need to be changed within days. Instead, relax and savour this rare and wonderful cycle.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 You may have thought you’ve discussed your feelings, but what others are saying is entirely different. Don’t argue. Listen. Their current emotional state may be due to last Saturday’s Full Moon, but their issues are valid.

Much as you value action and achievement, time spent delving

into emotions — yours and others — is as worthwhile. These exchanges may be challenging, but the resulting insights will be stunningly life-enhancing.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Ordinarily questions regarding

your identity require little thought. But with your ruler Uranus,

which changes signs only every 8 years, just having moved into Ar-

ies and joining the expansive Jupiter there, discovery is your focus.

True, initially opportunities could seem unappealing — if not en-

forced. Yet the more you actually explore, the more delightful the options you’ll discover now, and over the coming weeks and months.

Pisces February 19 – March 19 When others are struggling, you suffer too. But between the recent Full Moon and intense planetary activity, everybody’s in the midst of some variety of dra-

ma - one they must resolve themselves. Allow the difficulties of those around you — friends, colleagues, family or loved ones –

to distract you from your own, equally important, changes and

For more information, to order personal charts and to download & listen to detailed audiocasts, visit www.shelleyvonstrunckel.com

you’ll only be undermining your well being. For once, you must

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come first.

MARCH 20-26 2011

THE HATER

10 things I hate about ...my husband’s friends

1 2 3 4 5 58

Saturday night + after twelve o’clock = parrrtayyyy!!!

He insists that these ‘Boys’ Nights Out’ serve a great purpose. The boys discuss ‘important’ things like how you can buy some low-priced tinted material to put on

the split air conditioner’s bright temperature display window so the whole room isn’t illuminated when you turn the AC on at night.

Your new title. Try calling your hubby when he is surrounded by his friends, and you run the risk of him being teased mercilessly and you being nicknamed ‘The Dragon Lady’ — even if you just called to remind him to pick up some bread on the way back.

The Sunday syndrome. You guys were out till 3 am last night. Do you HAVE to show up at our doorstep unan-

nounced AGAIN on this ONE holiday in the whole week just to ‘hang out’ some more? Jeez.

BY SADAF UMAIR

6 7 8 9 10

The elusive Mrs Friends. No matter how long they (or we, for that matter) have been married, I have never, ever met my hubby’s friends’ wives. As a result, I have

no friends of my own and so resent my hubby’s even more. Oh happy times!

My passive aggression. I thought this condition only afflicted loser/sissy wives who had a serious communication gap with their husbands and the only real talk-

ing they did was through sarcastic remarks like, “The truth is: my husband is married to his friends. Me? I’m just the maid”.

Their month-long visits. I mean, it was a pretty gruel-

ling 40-day chilla that I did to send them abroad in the

first place. I don’t see why they can’t stay there all year like my maternal relatives (bless them!). The peer prom-

ised me that as soon as I pay Rs50,000 and the chilla is

complete, said friends will shift far, far away for a very long time. Think I should ask for my money back?

“Chai bana do please”. What is this, Cafe Piya-

la? I don’t care how fond your friends are of my illaichi-wali chai; I refuse to make another cup, that too at 11 pm, after I have cleared away the dinner dishes and turned the kitchen light off.

Thinking things will change if they haven’t already.

Before marriage you think things will change after marriage. During your pregnancy you are positive things will change after the baby is born... Don’t hold

your breath! He is still gonna wanna meet his friends

at a moment’s notice. (Simple formula is at work: One missed call after 11 pm + sheepish expression on hubby’s face = “Z is at the door, I gotta go. Dont wait up.”)

Dinner? Already had it. Your loving phone call to your hubby to inquire when he’ll be coming home because

you just put the finishing touches to his favourite pas-

ta dish is met with an apologetic tone, stating that he has already stuffed his face with “the bestest paratha

roll in the whole wide world”. And could you please put the pasta in the fridge for his midnight snack?

MARCH 20-26 2011

Frenemies forever. You still have to smile and nod sa-

laam when they come over. You still have to politely inquire about the well-being of their wife and kids (remember, you don’t even know who they are). After

that, you retire to your room for some more passive aggression... but that’s when the room is best cleaned.