The Express Tribune Magazine - May 15

MAY 15-21 2011

Not a drop to drink?

Despite laws and social taboos, there is no shortage of either alcohol or alcoholics in Pakistan

22

ADVICE

REVIEWS

HATER

PEOPLE

FEATURE

MAY 15-21 2011

Cover Story 22 Not A Drop To Drink?

Can rehabilitation centres really help alcoholics kick the habit?

30 111-WANT-BOOZE Bootlegging — a shady profession gets organised 32 Tales Of A Tharra-Wallah For those who can’t afford ‘foreign ka maal,’ there’s always moonshine

Feature 34 From Mohali, With Love An Indian businessman works to help Pakistanis in need

Positive Pakistani

40

36 A Mother’s Tale Everybody has a dream — this woman’s led to a better future for her children

Fired Up With Frieha 38 Mummy, Daddy, And Me When will we learn to cut the apron strings?

22

Fashion 40 Hometown Glory A look at Kamiar Rokhni’s new ethnic glam

Regulars 6 People & Parties: Out and about with Pakistan’s beautiful people 20 Questionnaire: Rahat Kazmi on getting older 46 Advice: Mr Know It All 48 Reviews: What’s new in films 50 Ten Things I Hate About: Sending kids to pre-school

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4

Editor: Zarrar Khuhro. Sub-Editors: Batool Zehra, Hamna Zubair Creative Team: Amna Iqbal, Jamal Khurshid, Essa Malik, Anam Haleem, Tariq Waheed Alvi, S Asif Ali, Samad Siddiqui, Sukayna Sadik Publisher: Bilal A Lakhani. Executive Editor: Muhammad Ziauddin. Editor: Kamal Siddiqi.

For feedback and submissions: magazine@tribune.com.pk

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Labels was recently launched at Vogue Towers in Lahore.

, Tia and Rana Amna Kardar

Noman

Saba Ghauri

a Janat and Hum

6 MAY 15-21 2011

Sabina Pasha Bilal Mukhtar

and Hassan, Ayesha and Dr Shehla

PHOTOS COURTESY BILAL MUKHTAR EVENTS & PR

Irum and Mahin

MAY 15-21 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Kami and Zahir

Uzma and Fahad

Noor and Saba

Fia

8

Arjumand and MAY 15-21 2011

Mahnum

Malika and Masooma

MAY 15-21 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

L’affaire was recently launched in Lahore.

d Fia

Gul, Amna an

Bilal Mukhtar and Zara

r Wafa and Saha

dot

Mariam Mam

Saim and Sarah

10 MAY 15-21 2011

PHOTOS COURTESY BILAL MUKHTAR EVENTS & PR.

Humera Malik

MAY 15-21 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Ali Iqra, Lubna, Zahid and

Hoor and Zahid

On and Noor

Aamir Mazhar and Natty

12

d Aqsa

Rafia, Sonia an MAY 15-21 2011

Anila, Madeeha, Ikram and Maha

MAY 15-21 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Rana Noman and Sara

Gillani

Shiren and Lubna

Mehreen Syed

Amina Saeed

14

Yab and Hina MAY 15-21 2011

Sabina Pasha

MAY 15-21 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

L’Oréal Paris presented their cream Revitalift.

ri

and Saba Ansa Peng Qureshi Khalid with Tehmina

Sarwat Gillani

ani and

Neeshay Rabb Aale Mowjee

16 MAY 15-21 2011

Zainab Pasha

Anoushey Ashraf with Neeshay Rabbani and Ujala Zia

PHOTOS: KASHIF-UD-DIN

Aamina Sheikh with Ujala Zia

MAY 15-21 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

City Developers recently launched a luxury apartment building in Lahore.

ra

Mr & Mrs Saad Malik

Ahmad Aqeel and Mehr Chohan

Sana

18 MAY 15-21 2011

ith Sara Sayed w d an sb Hu r he

Fatima and Sehr Khosa

PHOTOS COURTESY J&S

, Aqeel and Sa

Jhanzaib Baig

MAY 15-21 2011

“Basically, I am a melancholic, depressed person” Veteran artiste Rahat Kazmi on books, music, and wishing the world was a better place.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

There is no such thing as perfect happiness, if there was, then

I was occasionally fortunate to be able to do what I wished to do.

gone off into the forest!

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would

What is your greatest fear?

I’d Iike to be myself.

Buddha for one wouldn’t have left the pleasures of his palace and

I am not afraid of anything. The worst that can happen is that the world will one day cease to be, but at that time I hope I won’t be around.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

My indecision about devoting myself to writing.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

it be?

Where would you most like to live?

In Scholberg, where I once attended an orchestra performance in an open-air theatre in the mountains near the river.

What is your most treasured possession?

My books and music collection.

When they fail to differentiate between art and entertainment.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

What is your greatest extravagance?

which you just don’t want to do.

Buying too many books and music CDs. What is your current state of mind?

My current state of mind is that I have grown old and that the creativity which used to be there is no longer there.

On what occasion do you lie?

I think that is when you are continuously forced to do something

If you didn’t do your current job, what would you choose to do?

Something else, that is creative… or die!

Who is your hero of fiction?

No one.

When I want to be alone.

Who are your heroes in real life?

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

in the field of performing arts, music or acting. Many different

Everything, particularly now. I don’t want to see an old face in the mirror!

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Creativity. It fills me with wonder to know that you are creative.

In many areas there are different kinds of people, they can be people doing different things are all real-life heroes.

What’s your favourite quote?

Jean Paul Sartre: “Everything that exists, exists by chance, prolongs its existence by fear and dies by accident.”

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

What kind of super powers would you like to have?

The same.

I wish I had the power to make this world a better place.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

If you had a time machine, where would you go?

I overuse the word ‘creativity.’

I would like to go back to Scholberg and enjoy the orchestra again.

When and where were you happiest?

If they made a movie on your life, who would you want to play your

Never. Basically, I am a melancholic, depressed person.

role?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Rahat Kazmi. a

I wish I could be wittier, funnier and a more likeable person.

I would like to play the role of the character who is trying to play

21 MAY 15-21 2011

not a drop to drink?

COVER STORY

BY SABA IMTIAZ

Despite the taboo, rehabilitation centres for alcoholics have cropped up in recent years. Can they really help addicts break a fatal habit?

“My life was ruined,” says Zarak*. A man in his mid-50s, he is currently undergoing therapy at the Willing Ways rehabilitation facility in Karachi.

“I felt I was powerless. I went for treatment to the Aga Khan University Hospital four times but I could only hold off on the alcohol for 15 days — 30 at the most. I would be back to drinking after that.”

WHAT IS ALCOHOLISM? Alcoholism is a chronic, often progressive disease in which a person craves alcohol and drinks despite repeated alcohol related problems (like losing a job or a relationship).

Alcoholism involves a physical dependence on alcohol, but other factors include genetic, psychological, and cultural influences.

Source: University of Maryland Medical Centre

22 MAY 15-21 2011

Zarak speaks haltingly as he recalls how he ended up in the

sterile rooms of the rehabilitation facility. “I realised five years

ago that the alcohol was controlling me, I was not in control.

I would drink and argue with my family and in the morning

I would promise never to do it again. Of course, I’d be back to drinking the next day. My relationship with my family suffered.

So did my business — you can’t really work if you are out drinking till 4:00 am.”

He had to kick a habit built over a lifetime. Zarak started drink-

ing 20 years ago with friends that he can now never see again.

“This is part of the treatment at Willing Ways,” says Dr Murad.

“You cannot meet ‘slippery friends’, bootleggers or go to places you used to drink at. We recommend total abstinence — even

?

smoking cigarettes is considered a sign of relapse.”

to get a greater ‘kick’. Younger clients use cannabis, between the

the 1970s but though forbidden by law, the practice is virtually

their tolerance increases, they want something stronger to give

Alcohol consumption by Muslims was banned in Pakistan in

impossible to uproot. There are 200,00 0 alcohol consumers in

Karachi alone, according to an estimate by Dr Wakeel Murad,

ages 30 and 40 it is cocaine and for older people it is heroin. As them the same feelings of social disconnect.”

Dr Ishaque Sirhandi, the secretary general of the Pakistan Psy-

who heads Willing Ways’ Karachi chapter and “at least 10 per

chiatric Society, says alcoholism tends to be prevalent among the

Tahir Ahmed, who runs Therapy Works, one of the most well-

there is polydrug dependency — people are mixing different in-

cent are alcoholics.”

known rehabilitation facilities in Karachi, contends that it is

“statistically impossible” to estimate the number of alcoholics in

upper and upper-middle classes. “In the lower income classes, toxicants.”

Rehabilitation facilities have cropped up in Pakistan in recent

the city. “People are drinking all kinds of liquor, from country

years. Therapy Works, which opened in 2002, has treated male

they get from bootleggers, depending on their income bracket.”

of alcoholism patients are men aged between 40 and 60, though

(desi) liquor to the locally produced alcohol to foreign alcohol that

“Alcoholism is rising in alarming proportions in Karachi,” says Tahir Ahmed, who runs Therapy Works.

“You have 14-year-old girls doing tequila shots. The stresses in the environment, within a family and outside, have increased.

and female patients of all ages. At Willing Ways the majority they have treated men as young as 25 as well as a number of women.

Dr Sirhandi believes many clinics are just “lavish bungalows

with beds for patients, who are kept for 20 days or so and then

‘discharged’. Of course they are going to relapse. They don’t have

any trained staff and often no psychiatrists. Now even if they do

manage to get rid of someone’s drug or alcohol dependency, they are not equipped to deal with any psychiatric disorders that they may have.”

“The lack of psychiatrists and the government’s apathy are

partially responsible for the current state of affairs,” he says.

“There are 450 psychiatrists for a country of 180 million people.

There need to be well-designed rehabilitation centres, qualified personnel and public-private sector partnerships. Otherwise in the next two decades we will have huge issues dealing with this.”

Despite the prevalence of alcohol and alcohol abuse, alcohol-

ism is still considered a taboo. “Society does not accept alcoholism as a disease,” Dr Murad says. Gossip and innuendo about

alcoholics often continues even after they have gone through rehab.

Dr Sirhandi says, “Look at the terms used for people with drug

dependency issues — sharabi, mawali, charsi, jahaz. Our sociBut while the actual numbers are a subject of debate, there is

little doubt that they are on the increase.

“Alcoholism is rising in alarming proportions in Karachi,”

Ahmed says. “You have 14-year-old girls doing tequila shots. The

stresses in the environment, within a family and outside, have increased. The cost of living, financial struggles and daily problems, as well as personal factors including the individual’s rela-

tionship with the family are contributing towards this. It makes people move from social to dependent and then to abusive drinking.”

According to Ahmed, “Abusive alcoholism usually begins af-

ter a sustained period of social drinking — at least 10 to 15 years.

However, people also combine drinking with drugs in an attempt

ety needs to treat people with respect like they do abroad. Alcoholism is a disease. When a patient with any illness — diabetes

for example — comes home from the hospital, the family flocks

around him. Someone runs to get food while the other massages the patient and relatives bring fruits and flowers. But when an

alcoholic comes home, the family views the person with suspicion, neighbours disassociate themselves from him/her and he/

she can’t get a job because organisations won’t hire someone who had drug-dependency issues. Patients relapse because they feel they are being victimised for something they haven’t done or

aren’t responsible for. Families and communities need to trust people after they have gone through rehabilitation.”

“The worst is the denial of it,” Tahir Ahmed laments. “Schools

don’t want to talk about it and neither do families. They let the

MAY 15-21 2011

23

COVER STORY patient deny he is an alcoholic because of their own denial. We only treat minors when they come in with their parents, but if the schools have referred them here, the parents invariably try

Murad asserts. “That is why 90 per cent of people enjoy alcohol, and this disease only hits 10 per cent of people.”

Therapy Works stresses on maintaining complete confiden-

to play it down. They will make comments like ‘All the kids do it’

tiality of clients. They have clients who walk in for treatment

ing, they will deny and absolve the child. With older people, the

the grapevine, as well as psychiatrists, hospitals and schools —

and ‘We don’t know how this happened’. Instead of investigat-

reasons are different: ‘I’m drinking with my own money’ or ‘I’m functioning properly’.”

“There are also people who are benders. They stay sober five

days a week, start drinking on Saturday and continue till Sunday evening. On Monday morning, they have a hangover and carry

or are brought in by spouses or siblings. Referrals come through

which will refer students found drinking alcohol on campus. It also has a strong relapse prevention programme and therapy includes incorporating positive influences in your lifestyle, such as exercise and work.

Murad is quick to point out that alcoholism is a disease: “Re-

on until Saturday rolls around again,” Ahmed states. “The reason

search shows that drinking alcohol produces a toxin that makes

that they find themselves so unacceptable that they do not want

ism “could also be part of your genetic code and environment.

people drink is that they want to disconnect with themselves, to feel a certain way. That is why we work a lot on self-acceptance and improving their self-esteem.”

Zarak says, “People know that I have undergone treatment.

Sometimes I feel inferior when I am talking to others, but I know this is something I have to work on.”

Alcoholism, according to Ahmed, finds its roots in shame-

based behaviour. “Even where it is socially acceptable to drink, it

is still considered to be illegal and in the upper-middle class, it is believed to be immoral, because of what religion dictates.”

Dr. Murad cautions against looking at the problem simplis-

tically, saying that alcohol is a mood elevator for many people,

and that simply consuming alcohol does not mean that one is an

alcoholic, “There are certain benefits to alcohol and drugs,” Dr

MAY 15-21 2011

people act a certain way. He cites research to show that alcoholChildren of alcoholics are three times as likely to become one if

they find an enabling environment. Of course even if it is part of

one’s genetic code, if you do not find an environment, you won’t

LAW In 1977, the late Prime Minister Zulfikar Ali Bhutto’s government banned the sale and consumption of alcohol.

According to the constitution, Muslims are banned from consuming alcohol. Foreigners and non-Muslims can be punished for consumption in public places, though nonMuslims are exempt if they are at a religious ceremony.

Provincial governments are authorised to issue licenses for the manufacture and sale of alcohol, as well as for possession.

Laws relating to alcohol consumption in Pakistan In the Constitution of Pakistan, Part II, Chapter 2 37. Promotion of social justice and eradication of social evils.

The State shall: (h) Prevent the consumption of alcoholic liquor otherwise than for medicinal and, in the case of non-Muslims, religious purposes.

In the Pakistan Penal Code misconduct in public by a drunken person: Whoever, in a, state of intoxication, appears in any public place, or in any place which it is a trespass in him to enter, and there conducts himself in such a manner as to cause annoyance to any person be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to twenty-four hours, or with fine which may extend to ten rupees, or with both.

become an alcoholic.”

Ultimately, the problem lies in whether alcoholism is viewed

as a disease or simply a vice, and it is this failure to perceive the true nature of the problem that prevents many from getting

treatment. The sheer stigma of having an alcoholic in the family means that some would prefer to keep the problem under wraps rather than seek treatment.

Willing Ways also works with families on how to manage in-

terventions and bring reluctant patients to the facility. Therapy

Works’ Tahir Ahmed is strongly against coercive interventions,

which he believes lead to anger and rage and a reaction which

invariably leads the client to relapse. “We work on a technique called motivational intervention, which uses the ambivalence in a client — it speaks to the part of the client that says ‘I must stop’.”

Treating alcoholism can set one back many thousands of ru-

pees. Therapy Works charges Rs300,000 per client. The amount covers 12 months of treatment, including a month of in-patient

MYTH: “If people were used to drinking socially and in restaurants, they wouldn’t be as compelled to drink in larger amounts at private events.”

REALITY: It is a physical reaction and need so it does not matter where one is or what amounts are available.

MYTH: “Alcoholism would be higher if alcohol was legal in Pakistan.”

REALITY: Pakistan’s alcohol usage is comparable to many countries where alcohol is openly sold.

care. Treatment at Willing Ways costs Rs7,550 to Rs12,550 a day, depending on the type of residential room booked, and charges

for outdoor counselling are between 10 and 12 per cent of that amount.

“My advice to my fellow alcoholics would be to seek treatment

— find a good place and get admitted. It would be my best gift to them,” Zarak says. a

Diagnose yourself — do you think you have a drinking problem?

1. If you’re a man, do you ever have five or more drinks in a day? One standard drink is equivalent to 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof spirits.

2. If you’re a woman, do you ever have four or more drinks in a day?

3. Do you need a drink as soon as you get up?

4. Do you feel guilty about your drinking?

5. Do you think you need to cut back on how much you drink?

6. Are you annoyed when other people comment on or criticise your drinking habits?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you may have a problem with alcohol.

Source: mayoclinic.com

Alcohol and its consumption — some quick facts What happens in the brain: Alcohol increases the effect of the body’s naturally occurring neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters chemically connect signals from one nerve to the next, allowing signals to flow through the brain. Alcohol reduces this signal flow in the brain. This explains why alcohol depresses both a person’s mental and physical activities.

Absorption: Approximately 20 per cent of alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream directly from the stomach, and 80 per cent from the small intestine. Consequently, the longer the alcohol remains in the stomach, the slower it will be absorbed. This also explains the sobering effect of food.

Source: emedicinehealth.com

25 MAY 15-21 2011

COVER STORY

MAY 15-21 2011

MAY 15-21 2011

COVER STORY

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MAY 15-21 2011

111-want-booze No matter where you are — alcohol seems to be just a phone call away. How did the bootlegging business get so big?

BY MUSAB MEMON

It was the fall of 2007 in Lahore. Seven college boys sat in two cars and took off. The drive from Defence to the railway station takes around 45 minutes, given the usual traffic. When they were almost at their destination, one of the boys got a call.

they can buy abroad, with a little help from their friendly neigh-

“Imran just got shot. I think it was a police raid. A crackdown.”

ness, drawing more customers in the last couple of years than

The boys were disappointed.

“We need the booze — there will be around 60 people coming!”

they insisted.

One of them dialled another number in desperation.

“Salu, is your brother okay? We are here. We ordered 12 bottles.

What now?”

The boys were pretty sure they wouldn’t be getting their deliv-

ery, given the circumstances.

But Salu said, “I’ll call you back.”

Pakistan, more specifically the urban centres of Lahore and Ka-

rachi, now experience one of the most organised forms of buying

and selling alcohol that the country has witnessed in decades.

Bootlegging has become a well-structured and lucrative busiever before.

“This profession used to be dangerous and extremely risky. No

one wanted to do this for a living. But now it’s good money. And it’s safe,” says Shatir Sikander, a bootlegger in Karachi’s Defence area.

“We have the ‘khancha’ (setting) with the authorities in many

areas. As more and more people demand alcohol, the industry automatically finds loopholes in the system,” he continues.

According to some bootleggers, increased demand for alcohol

Fifteen minutes later, the boys were heading back to their par-

in the last couple of years has enabled the business to withstand

The story didn’t end the way you thought it would, did it? A

simple methodology of trial and error, has reached a very stable

ty, bearing the bounty they came looking for.

bootlegger makes a commitment, and then he gets shot. What

are the chances that his previous commitment on the transac-

crackdowns better, as this underground economy, through the and organised stage.

There are multiple reasons for the controlled and well-thought

tion will come through? Bootlegging isn’t an organised business,

out spread of this underground industry, which is, of course, il-

But you’ll be surprised at how organised the system of bootleg-

The business remains lucrative for new entrants, who con-

after all.

legal in Pakistan.

ging is at times. Bootleggers always make use of backups, alter-

tinue to join the bootlegging profession, because competition

didn’t disappoint, and the show went on in full swing.

almost impossible to assume the existence of a formal union or

natives and Plan Bs, just like in this case, where the bootleggers

With the population of Pakistan’s major cities swelling year

after year, and coupled with the wealth accumulated in these ur-

is very high. The illegal nature of the business means that it is other kind of barrier to entry.

It is also easier to join the field as a ‘small fish’ because that is

ban areas, the demand for high-end foreign alcohol is very much

essentially what everyone is — bootleggers, because of the nature

And while the consumption of alcohol is by no means restrict-

and grow beyond a certain point. Businesses tend to make prof-

in the increase.

30

bourhood bootleggers.

ed to the ‘elite,’ this class finds a way to enjoy the same liquor MAY 15-21 2011

of the business, cannot take advantage of ‘economies of scale’ its and reduce costs as they grow in size, but with bootlegging,

these basic principles of economics don’t apply. Any increase in

Sikander, is bulk buying.

survival because the industry as a whole still remains candidly

back again and buy another one three days later,” he says. “Cus-

the activity of any one bootlegger poses a great threat to his own vulnerable to crackdowns.

This doesn’t mean, of course, that bootleggers don’t benefit

from increased demand.

“First, I used to own a bike. Two years ago I bought a rickshaw.

Now I have this Bolan,” says a Lahore-based bootlegger, pointing at his white, second-hand mini van.

Most bootleggers agree that one of the main reasons why busi-

“People in Karachi don’t like to go score one bottle and come

tomers seek convenience and in the last couple of years people have started a new culture of buying in bulk.”

“This makes life easier for both parties involved. Selling in

bulk is good for business and buying in bulk is good for the customers. Its saves money on transaction costs and security issues, to levels we had not imagined.”

Bulk buying, for customers and bootleggers alike, has trans-

ness seems to be expanding is due to a relatively new breed of

formed the industry. Bootleggers have started buying vehicles in

remained the domain of the relatively older business class in Pak-

safety, and customers enjoy discounts for buying in bulk.

customers — the youth. Previously, consuming alcohol largely istan but now young people — perhaps as many foreign graduates return home — are seeking to get their hands on more alcohol, more frequently.

This is something that bootleggers in both Lahore and Kara-

order to transport the contraband to the houses of customers for

One bootlegger moonlights as a worker in a consulate in Ka-

rachi. He tells me that embassies have made buying and selling alcohol relatively simple in recent times.

“Much of the alcohol you see in the city comes from the port

chi have brought up. The common theme that surfaces when I

under the name of embassies, and from here we can leak it into

influx of customers aged between 18 to 25 has increased over the

ment system in progress.”

contact both the cities’ bootlegging businesses is the fact that an last decade, which has, more or less, transformed a few transac-

the city for profit. It is a very organised supply chain manageWhile multiple reasons may exist, bootlegging continues to

tions into an effective business. Most bootleggers agree that in

be an industry that is becoming more widespread and organised

to expand their businesses in the most unconventional ways.

came over to deliver the goods to his house in a brand new Range

order to cater to the increasing demand, many of them have had In fact, bootleggers have to be more innovative in Lahore, be-

cause while wine shops throughout Karachi offer beer, vodka and whiskey produced in local breweries, the bootlegging profession in this city is quite different from the one in Lahore, where

all types of alcohol, local or foreign, must be bought through

as years go by. A friend tells me about how his bootlegger once Rover.

He says with a smirk, “You can get anything and everything

done here as long as you know the right, or the wrong, people.”

I couldn’t agree more. a

bootleggers.

For this reason, bootleggers have started relying more heavily

on technology to help get in touch with customers. Latest additions that cement the network and make it more effective include the use of SMS, Black-

berry services and emails to inform clients of the latest prices, brands of alcohol available and any discount offerings.

Organising illegal activities poses many

threats though — the first is anonymity.

For this purpose, bootlegging still remains a predominantly social activity, closely knit

through an intimate network of familiar people. It is unlikely for a bootlegger to cater

to your demands if you call him up without a reference or a common friend who introduces you two.

One major change that has brought about

a revolution in the alcohol industry and made life easier for bootleggers though, according to

MAY 15-21 2011

COVER STORY

tales of the tharra-walla

For those who can’t afford foreign fare... there’s always moonshine.

BY TAHA S SIDDIQUI

In the urban centers, consumers have access to legally produced alcohol through bootleggers and wine shops but villagers brew their own alcohol, calling it “kuppi” or “tharra” — the commonly used names for alcohol.

cret recipe actually made me sick to my stomach. We reached a

A few months ago, I happened to visit a village on the outskirts of La-

dung industriously with his hands. Finally, he took out a clay

hore where I encountered a rural bootlegger and alcohol producer. His house stood in the middle of the fields in a village pre-dominantly in-

habited by farmers. He did not have a fancy car, no “drop” points and he didn’t have a variety of alcoholic beverages. He simply sold what he and his wife made in their small kitchen in a distiller.

The distiller was a contraption comprising three pots: the low-

est pot served as a water boiler, the middle clay pot had the mix-

ture (he explained the making of the mixture later on), and the

it. In one corner of the mud house was a pile of cow dung that

gave off an unbearable stench. That did not seem to affect the man who had brought me there. He started digging through the

pot loosely covered with a steel plate that did not really fit. He

uncovered it, and dipped his dung-covered hands inside to show that the mixture had not fermented yet.

“What are the ingredients?” I asked.

“The bark of the ‘keekar’ tree, gurrh (brown sugar) and water is

all that we need.” He pointed to a canal and told me that the trees on both sides of the canal in this village were of that particular kind.

The bootlegger and his assistant went on to explain that they

top pot was where the cold water condensed the vapours. A pipe

had no formula for the quantity of each raw material and fer-

drop by drop the alcohol collected.

ally, that took two weeks.

running out of one side of the pot was stuck in a bottle where “The filling in the first bottle is the strongest,” the bootleg-

ger proudly exclaimed. “So we usually mix it with the rest of the mixture to dilute it.”

I asked him if the rumor that it was combustible was true.

“All you need to do is dip your finger in the first filling, and

mentation was complete when the mixture ‘smelt’ right. UsuIt was almost dark when I decided to bid them farewell. Back

in the city, I talked to various doctors and toxicologists and concluded that the mixture that I saw in the village could only lead to hygiene issues and gastric illness.

Dr Saleem Azam of the Pakistan Society pointed out that the

light it up … and it will catch fire,” he replied.

distance was so huge between the villages and the city, that the

telling me the details.

poisonous chemicals to the brew to make it stronger. Not just

That sounded scary but this moonshiner seemed to be enjoying Then a buyer came along, and I took the opportunity to ask

him if he knew the hazards of this homemade alcohol.

“It is completely natural so why will there be any side effects?”

he asked me. “It is actually goodyou’re your health. The ‘vilaayiti’ (foreign) alcohol is what can make you fall sick.”

After taking Rs300, the moonshiner gave him a transparent

plastic bag filled with alcohol. The buyer grabbed it and disappeared.

“How much do you make?” I asked the bootlegger.

32

mud house out in the fields with cattle and sheep milling around

He smiled and said, “I sell 8-10 bags a day, so you do the math.”

Next I was to see the process of making the mixture — the seMAY 15-21 2011

middle men took advantage of the travel time to add different that, but another professor I spoke to with knowledge of toxic substances says that residents of urban areas have access to denatured (undrinkable or poisonous) alcohol, easily available at

chemical sellers. According to Dr Mehmood Shaukat of King Edward’s Medical University, ethanol (the chemical name for the

above mentioned mixture) is used for industrial purposes and it is denatured by adding poisonous chemicals like methanol before being supplied to the market. The final product is not drink-

able alcohol but, according to the professor, many people do in fact drink it. The result is deadly. Most people reported blindness at first and then eventually death. a

Know your terminology Cirrhosis [si-roh-sis]: Cirrhosis is a scarring of the liver and poor liver function. Cirrhosis, which is caused by long-term alcohol abuse (and can also be caused by Hepatitis C), is generally irreversible — and is a serious condition that can lead to many complications including death, and the patient may need a liver transplant.

Delirium Tremens [dih-leer-ee-uhm] [tree-muhnz, -menz]: Delirium tremens is a severe form of alcohol withdrawal. Delirium tremens can occur after a period of heavy alcohol drinking, especially when the person does not eat enough food. Symptoms may get worse rapidly, and can include body tremors, mental status changes, agitation, irritability, confusion, disorientation, decreased attention span, hallucinations and decreased mental status and deep sleep that persists for a day or longer.

Binge drinking [binj] [dring-king]: Drinking a large amount of alcohol in a short span of time. Though the exact amount of alcohol

consumed can vary, the definition of binge drinking in the US is the consumption of five or more drinks in a row by men — or four or more drinks in a row by women.

Going on a bender: See above.

Hangover [hang-oh-ver]:This is a term for the sensation people feel the morning after they have indulged in excessive drinking.

Symptoms include a dry mouth, a headache, a bad stomach, red eyes and tiredness.

Intervention [in-ter-ven-shuhn]: The act of informing an alcoholic that he has a problem and should seek help for his addiction.

Trained healthcare professionals and family members are usually involved.

Alcohol withdrawal: Heavy drinkers who quit cold turkey may experience an intense craving for alcohol; they may shake uncontrollably or sweat excessively and may even hallucinate (see Delirium Tremens).

MAY 15-21 2011

FEATURE This March, as Pakistanis cheered their cricket team in their big match against India at Mohali, thousands of miles away, a man from Mohali was freeing two Pakistanis from the jaws of death. SP Singh Oberoi was submitting pardon money to a court in Sharjah to free a group of 10 men — two of them Pakistani — from the jaws of

death. “I was paying money to save eight Indians. How could I leave the two Pakistanis in the same group?” he asked.

This was not the first time this Indian helped a Pakistani prisoner

escape the gallows. Oberoi, a Dubai-based businessman, has been promoting his own brand of ‘Aman ki Asha’, working tirelessly to

help those embroiled in death cases in the UAE. Whether the worker happens to be Indian or Pakistani doesn’t make a difference to him.

Currently, he is pursuing four cases in which six Pakistani blue—

collar workers have been charged with murder. He is paying pardon money (diya) to earn their freedom.

The death sentences for two Pakistanis — Mohammed Ansar Chaud-

hary from Azad Kashmir and Sahid Hussain Ifthreen Rana from Multan — have already been waived by a Sharjah court. These men, along with eight Indian Punjabis, were involved in bootlegging, which led to the

murder of Pakistani worker Mumtaz Yousuf. In some labour camps on the outskirts of Dubai, procuring and selling liquor is a flourishing, albeit illegal, trade. Different groups of workers operate in their own areas, and

understandably, one group doesn’t allow the other to enter their area. But trouble erupts when this unwritten rule is breached. Intrusions lead to

from mohali, with love

An Indian businessman works tirelessly to help Pakistani workers on the wrong side of the law.

BY AMNA KHAISHGI

clashes and violence. When the fight becomes really brutal, deaths occur,

as on this occasion. Though the Dubai police keep a close eye on such activities, these incidents have been fairly common.

Oberoi has submitted pardon documents in another case in which two

Pakistani workers, alongside a Bangladeshi and seven Indian Punjabis, have been charged with the murder of an Indian. As of now, Oberoi has paid Rs18 lakhs as pardon money to get the three Pakistani prisoners released.

So did the idea that these men belong to an ‘enemy’ country

cross his mind? “I never think like that. My focus is on saving hu-

>>“Oberoi is a saint”: Mohammad Yousuf Mohammad Yousuf, a labourer in Burewal, Multan, only has duas for Oberoi who paid the pardon money for the murder of Yousuf’s son: “When I lost my eldest son, I thought life was finished. But Singh ji was an angel who made me realise that other families should not suffer like I have. I am a poor man but Singh ji helped me secure the future of my other children.”<<

34

man lives, whether Indian or Pakistani. These men are victims of

circumstances, driven to such crimes by poverty and desperation.

They come from lower middle class families and take loans to travel

abroad to make a living,” says Oberoi. He offers help to those who have no one else to fight their cases. “To help someone in distress

is being human. I value the common heritage of the neighbouring countries, especially in Punjab on both the sides, people have similar eating habits, language and lifestyle.”

Though he helps Pakistani prisoners, he has never received support

MAY 15-21 2011

WHO IS SP SINGH OBEROI? SP Singh Oberoi originally belongs to Mohali, Chandigarh. He is chairman and managing director of Apex Group of Companies.

Back in India, Singh is involved in several humanitarian activities in Indian Punjab and organises mass marriages for the less privileged.

He has sponsored more than 6,000 marriages — approximately 4,000 Sikh marriages, around 2,000 Hindu marriages and 160 nikahs as per Muslim traditions. He also sponsors underprivileged students in Punjab, pays their full expenses from 10+2 years of school, 4 years of engineering and then secures jobs for them in Dubai. Apart from running the NGO Esoterics Foundation, working on various environmental awareness programmes, Oberoi is constructing a charitable school and hostel for children with special needs in Patiala.

from Pakistan’s embassy. “I have never been contacted by the Pakistani embassy for any of these cases and I have never approached them either.”

In Mumtaz Yousuf’s murder case, Oberoi says it was not easy to con-

vince Mohmmad Yousuf, the victim’s father, to pardon the murderers of

his 23-year-old son in exchange for Diya.“It took me seven months to convince Mumtaz Yousuf’s family,” says Oberoi who arranged for the visas,

air tickets and accommodations for Mohammad Yousuf and his relative Kashif Imran in Dubai.“Mohammad Yousuf stayed here for two months attending court hearings but wasn’t ready for a compromise.”

Oberoi then tried to convince him that if he accepted the blood money

he could prevent 10 families — the families of the accused — from going

through the pain that he had been through. “I told him that the money could never bring his son back but it would certainly help Mumtaz Yousuf’s seven siblings and secure their future. Eventually he agreed,” says Oberoi.

On February 1, 2011, Oberoi and Mohmmad Yousuf appeared in court and the

jury was informed that he is ready to pardon all the 10 men.“It was an agonising decision; I don’t want these families to experience the pain that I’m going

through,” Yusuf told the court.The jury accepted the request and the verdict was finally delivered on March 27, when the death penalty was waived.

Oberoi has come to the conclusion that blue -collared workers, both

from India and Pakistan, are victims of adverse circumstances: “Most

of these crimes are committed under the influence of alcohol. I do not blame the boys. They come after paying so much money to agents. It is

the economic condition of these workers that force them to get on the

wrong side of the law. Most of the time, they fall in the trap of mak-

ing easy money without realising the gravity of the situation,” he says.

At the same time, Oberoi maintains that he only helps those who are

stuck in unfortunate circumstances and do not have the resources to save themselves. “I can never think of helping those involved in rape, drug cases and intentional murder cases.”

Oberoi also says that the Indian and Pakistani embassies are do-

ing whatever they can to improve the situation despite limited resources and manpower. “We must realise that, because of the num-

ber of Indian and Pakistani workers in the UAE, it is impossible to monitor each and every case. My experience is that whenever anything comes to their notice, they do try their best to help workers.”

In this respect he believes that Indian and Pakistani communi-

ties in the UAE have a larger role to play in helping such people.

“Besides creating awareness about life, laws and conditions in the

UAE, I think communities here should arrange orientation courses back home to help those planning to come here,” he says.

Local communities can also pool in resources and help in fight-

ing cases where workers have been wrongly implicated or in cases where they know for sure that they are innocent. “The real problem is communication and lack of knowledge of local laws.”

However, Oberoi has only praise for the Dubai and Sharjah police

authorities who have always supported him. “They are very cooperative and whenever I visit a jail to meet the accused, they support and respect me. They only want to carry out justice.” a

MAY 15-21 2011

35

POSITIVE PAKISTANI PEOPLE

a mother’s tale

BY AMNA FEROZE

Everybody has a dream — no matter how dire your circumstances, you can always find a way to make your child’s life better.

Some stories prove that a life lived not for yourself, but for other people, can be more fulfilling than anything else you could have imagined.

Years ago, a slight and pretty girl, Rehana Khanum, lived at

her uncle’s home in Wah Cantt. Her mother had died when she

was just four years old, and her father, who was a prisoner of war in India, was in no position to help her. She loved going to

school, but was plagued with worry for her sister, who was ill

36

and couldn’t attend school herself, let alone get up from her bed.

MAY 15-21 2011

She was happy to pass her Matric exams, and soon after that she

got married. She moved to Karachi filled with hope for her new future, but the large metropolis was unforgiving.

Her husband was the sole breadwinner of the family; he had three

young sisters, a brother, and two parents to provide for, apart from

his wife. When they could barely afford to support themselves anymore, the large family had to move into a small home, a two bed-

room apartment in Liaqatabad. Rehana’s husband, who had only attended school till 5th grade, could never earn enough money, and ultimately had to take a series of jobs that meant that he spent years outside the country, sending whatever money he could back home.

And so at the young age of 26, Rehana had three children to look

after, and she desperately wanted to send them to school, except she couldn’t afford to. That was when she decided to dedicate her

And so at the young age of 26, Rehana had three children to look after, and she desperately wanted to send them to school, except she couldn’t afford to. That was when she decided to dedicate her life to something she believed in — a better future for her children.

life to something she believed in — a better future for her children.

She began by selling whatever she had in hand, and designed a

daily routine for herself. Apart from all her household chores, such as cooking for the extended family, cleaning and doing laundry, Rehana gave tuitions to young children from the neighbourhood. She also learned stitching, and began sewing clothes to

meet her children’s educational expenses. She also motivated her

children every day — she knew it was not enough to send them

to school, she must instill in them a sense of the importance of education. From an early age, as a consequence, her children were always position holders. Things were about to get harder though:

Rehana had two more children, and the security situation in the city deteriorated. When the city wasn’t safe, Rehana used to drop

her children off to school every morning and pick them up in the afternoon. As time wore on, Rehana found more ways to save

money for her children’s education, and soon everything the family wore, from clothes to bags, was made by Rehana. She used to walk miles to find textbooks at cheaper prices too.

But slowly, as the children grew up, Rehana began to see the

fruits of her labour. The family eventually moved to a bigger

apartment in Gulshan-e-Iqbal, and Rehana had the pleasure

of seeing her eldest daughter become the finance manager of a textile company. Her eldest son is now working in an international ticketing software company as a sales executive and is do-

ing well. Another son, who studied at NED University, is now based in the US and, having completed his higher education, is

now working in one of the world’s best petroleum companies as a chief engineer. Her youngest son has just graduated from Karachi University with a degree in Geography.

And then there is me. I am my mother’s youngest daughter,

and I have just completed my bachelor’s in architecture, from

my brother’s alma mater, NED University. I have already decided what path to take in life; I want to devote my energy to education, because I know just how it can change a person’s life for the bet-

ter. So this story, then, is not just about my mother, it is about all those women and men who have, like her, made a difference by educating a child. a

MAY 15-21 2011

37

FIRED UP WITH FRIEHA

mummy, daddy and me

BY FRIEHA ALTAF

Of men and mothers who refuse to cut the apron strings…and some women who never get over their daddy issues.

My son is 15. Pretty soon there will be girlfriends.

I always wonder if I will be one of those mothers whose son is referred to as a “mama’s boy”. I can’t see it happening, since this is the age that teenage boys run as

far away from their mothers as they can. Anyways, his role model is his dad; he looks like him, hunts like him, wants to be in his

father’s business etc. And frankly I have no issues with that. I

also have always come to terms with the fact that our children

dipus will kill his father Laius, the King of Thebes (unwittingly)

and marry his mother (also unwittingly). And he does, while also having two children from the incestuous relationship.

When he discovers his fate his shame is such that he blinds

himself with his mother/wife’s golden brooch while she hangs herself.

Now Freud believed that the Oedipus complex was universal

are, as Khalil Gibran once wrote,” the children of the world.” So

and innate in human beings, stemming from competition be-

dipus complex when it comes to their sons?

the story is a metaphor describing son-father psychosexual com-

what is the deal with mothers having this overly-clingy neo-OeHaving been a student of Greek classics, I was in love with Greek

tragedies and Euripides’ plays “Medea” and “Electra”. They were always so over the top in drama they would make the Star Plus ‘Saas-Bahu’ vendettas look normal and rational.

Just look at Medea who was so enraged by her cheating hus-

band that she resorted to hurting him by killing her own chil-

tween father and son for the possession of the mother and that petition for possession of the mother.

The Electra story, on the other hand, revolves around a daugh-

ter who kills her mother Clytemnestra when she discovers her mother’s affair and involvement in her father, the Greek king Agamemnon’s murder.

To Freud, the attraction of a girl to her father and rivalry with

dren!

her mother is called the Electra complex.

the terms Electra complex and Oedipus complex. Oedipus is a

complex, and her poem “Daddy” quite literally captures the com-

It was of course the psychologist Sigmund Freud who coined

38

separated at birth from his parents. A prophecy predicts that Oe-

mythological Greek character from a play by Sophocles who is MAY 15-21 2011

The American poet Sylvia Plath also suffered from the Electra

plexities of the complex in ink.

peted with her for her son’s attention. When he came home and

One of my friends told me how her mother-in-law always competed with her for her son’s attention. When he came home and requested dinner, she actually raced her to the kitchen to prepare the meal he had requested. Does this sound like a Saas-Bahu drama on Star plus?

requested dinner, she actually raced her to the kitchen to prepare the meal he had requested. Does this sound like a Saas-Bahu drama on Star plus? Well folks this is real life and a real tragedy to boot. Another colleague of mine had a mother-in-law who would

feign sickness at least twice a week just to get attention from her son and this illness would begin exactly at 6pm when he would return home. Naturally, he had to sit with her till she felt better.

What about you men? Don’t you despise being compared to her

father or brother? Does the phrase “Abba would have done things

differently!” not drive you insane? How about when you have a fight? Does the tension between you and your wife and her parents make you uncomfortable.

In cases where your child is living out of the city or country,

how many of you dads have actually felt comfortable going to your daughter’s house to stay?

Men, whether they are labeled daddies, babas or papas, can’t

come to term with the fact that their daughter will have sex.

They want their pristine, innocent child to be forever pure and untouched. The pregnancy is an affirmation of the loss of inno-

cence and the fact that they will now be grandfathers. The sonin-law is thus the evil man who has destroyed this innocence.

A young lady in my office told me that she and her siblings

never had a relationship with their dad. He felt it was his duty to sit with his dominating mother till 10 pm, ignoring his wife and children.

When his mother died he tried to establish that bond but it

Now, there have been many stories and movies about such

complexes, my favourites being Steve Martin’s Father of the Bride and Jane Fonda’s Monster-in-law!

Somehow, most fathers have issues dealing with their daugh-

ters having a man in their lives and their position feels threat-

ened by the young man she falls for. Similarly, most mothers cannot give up their saintly status and no woman their son

was too late. Sadly, dedicated mama’s boys forget that their own

family stands very little chance if they only devote themselves to their mother.

Given that “the path to heaven lies under your mother’s feet,”

the status of parents (especially moms) in our society is crystal clear. But can’t we draw a line when this behavior starts getting a little unnatural?

Of course, it’s not just a ‘desi’ thing either. It is not uncom-

brings home can be good enough for the handsome and intelli-

mon for mothers to pay more attention to their sons even in the

Have you ever felt like your husband or boyfriend is too devoted

who ignores her daughters’ soccer games and activities because

gent one-in-a-million ‘beta’!

to his mother? Does he bring her up in conversation so often it makes your jealous bones vibrate?

Does he cancel dates and appointments with you to be with his

amma? Does he cringe if you ever bring up any criticism about her?

Oh yes, most of us have been there. I too had a mother-in-law

who thought her son could never love any woman more than he could love her and never ceased to tell me this either. Her obsessive devotion and pampering made me nauseous and I always found it too weird to be true. But true it was.

One of my friends told me how her mother-in-law always com-

United States. My friend Sandra from Atlanta knows a ‘gori’ lady she is so much more involved in her son’s life. Her daughters are made to do more chores around the house, like laundry, cook-

ing and cleaning while the son shares few responsibilities. The daughters are also made to miss activities just to support the brother. (Sounds very Pakistani to me.) The mother rushes home

to help her 12 year old do homework and won’t date because her son won’t let her.

How can such “Mothering” ever amount to any good? The

message to the daughters is that “men” still rule. I would love to tell more stories but unfortunately, many are reluctant to speak about their experiences in such matters. a

39 MAY 15-21 2011

FASHION

hometown glory

MAY 15-21 2011

Styling: Tehmina Khaled Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Outfits/ Label: Kamiar Rokni Hair and Makeup: Alle Nora, Annie Signature Salon Photography: Shamyl Khuhro Model: Aminah Ilyas

Kamiar Rokni’s latest prêt line

takes its inspiration from local truck art and the vibrancy of our street culture. Using

only local fabric, the Pakistani

collection has wearable every-

day pieces which will give your wardrobe a summery splash of colour.a

Billowy sleeves complete the silhouette of this pink number

Checkmate — this brick-red embroidered outfit is sure to turn heads

41 MAY 15-21 2011

FASHION

Capes and skinnies usher in the disco era, decorated the Pakistani way

42 MAY 15-21 2011

Pink and green are the perfect accents to canary yellow

43 MAY 15-21 2011

FASHION Steal the show in a dramatic full-length gown...

MAY 15-21 2011

...with a striking motif on the back

45 MAY 15-21 2011

ADVICE

mr know it all

From relationship blues to money woes, Mr Know It All has the answers!

Q. Dear Mr Know It All,

I’m just a regular, good-looking guy who gets along well with

women. I don’t know why, but women feel comfortable around

me. This means that I’m friends with a lot of women at my workplace, who tend to have lunch with me, and trust me with their secrets. I’ve noticed that my male colleagues are a little put off by

this — they’ve started keeping their distance from me, and ex-

clude me from their lunches. How can I be part of the boys’ club and the girls’ club? Can’t I be a member of both?

Mr Nice Guy

A. Is it just me, or have I been sleep-emailing myself again? Se-

riously dude, I’m also a good-looking guy who the ladies seem to have a soft spot for, so I totally feel for you! Have to admit though

that you’ve taken things a bit too far and I’m not surprised it’s beginning to take its toll on you. For starters you need to start thinking practically. You know you can’t have lunch with the girls and the guys at the same time if they’re not sitting on the

same table, right? You also can’t spend all your time giggling and

sharing secrets with your BFFs and then expect the guys to wel-

come you with chest-bumps to their hang outs. It just doesn’t

work that way, especially if the guys start seeing you as one of the ‘others’, which I strongly suspect is the case here. Until you be-

come a social force that’s strong enough to unite the two groups to form one big happy lunching family, you need to strike a balance. You’ve managed pretty well with the girls, but if you really

want the membership card to the boys’ club, you’ll need to start spending more time with the men in your office. . . perhaps even

sacrifice a few salad luncheons for some real steak and hamburger fests to get the ball rolling!

46

Q. Dear Mr Know It All,

I am going to be married in a month’s time. I’m looking MAY 15-21 2011

forward to a relaxing honeymoon in Singapore and Thailand.

Trouble is, my husband’s parents say they have relatives in Sin-

gapore and will ‘accompany’ us there so that they can also take

tell them you’ll be staying back a couple more days to fully avail the mister’s work leave.

There really isn’t a problem in this big bad world that can’t

a well-deserved vacation. I have a sinking suspicion that they

be solved with an open mind and a little conviction. Open

have a problem with this arrangement. I need a male perspec-

of in your case!

will soon ‘discover’ relatives in Bangkok too. Nobody seems to

tive — Is it just me, or is my husband’s parents’ presence on my honeymoon deeply disturbing?

Too close for comfort

A. First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘my’ honeymoon —

try involving your fiancé in all the madness as well, he might

prove to be a wee bit useful. And secondly, you’re not the only

one creeped out by the idea of family tagging along on a honeymoon, so relax. It’s an unfortunate thing to happen and a

worry you could’ve done without so close to the big day. This

minds, I don’t know, but conviction, I’m sure there’s plenty

Q. Dear Mr Know It All,

I’m going out with this really cute girl for the first time. She’s one

of those empowered-feminist types — she has a high powered career, can’t stand controlling men and probably earns more than I do.

When the bill arrives, what should I do? Pay for both of us, or let her split it with me? Will she insist on paying?

Broke in love

A. You, my friend, have hit the jackpot! Seriously, have you

isn’t the first time it’s happening, though. The concept of a

any idea just how rare cute feminists are? So if you’re lucky

in our culture, even more so if they were born in times of

power to keep her interested for as long as humanly possible.

private time for the newlyweds is somewhat lost on people

large joint-family homes and open-sky slumber parties in the

enormous courtyard. There are countless, and perhaps more

frightening, honeymoon horror stories to take comfort from.

What you can do for starters is tweak your itinerary a bit so

that you and your husband get a few unaided days in Bangkok

before you join the parents in Thailand, where you can spend

time together, but don’t necessarily have to tail each other all the time. And then, if you lovebirds still haven’t had enough

of each other by time they’re ready to fly back home, casually

enough to have found one, make sure you do everything in your

This shouldn’t be very hard if you follow my three simple rules for dealing with her kind: One, pack your two spheres of male excellence off for a vacation when she’s around; two, never com-

pliment her womanly traits and three, always agree with what she says, no matter how dumb you think she’s being...which in-

cludes letting her take the lead when she’s being adamant about paying the bill. You need to remember however that she might

wear suits to work, but that doesn’t mean she has to wear the

pants in your relationship. Some women, no matter how rich or empowered, will easily write you off as cheap and ungentlemanly if you don’t offer to pay the bill instantly. Thanks to feminists,

the line between being chivalrous and condescending is becoming fuzzier by the day, so it’s a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, really, and you can only depend on your good

instinct and credit limit just-in-case for a smooth ending to your

ILLUSTRATION: S.JAMAL.K

night out.a

Got a problem you just can’t solve? mail us at magazine@tribune.com.pk and let

47

our very own whiz take a crack at it!

MAY 15-21 2011

REVIEW

featured review of the week

film the elephant in the room

BY MAHVESH MURAD

The romance of circus life and the colour of carnival should resonate in a film like this, but disappointingly, very few scenes live up to their potential.

Let me lay it on the line for you: Frances Lawrence’s Water For Elephants is not a good film. It’s barely even a mediocre film. What it mostly is, is a hugely disappointing film that misses making the most of a number of cinematic opportunities. And while a straight out bad film can be forgiven, a mediocre and boring film will simply be forgotten.

The film is set in America in the Great Depression and is about a young Polish-American, Jacob (Robert Pattinson), who is made suddenly destitute a few hours before he is to graduate as a vet from Cornell University. In what feels like a desperate attempt to get what screenwriter Richard LaGravenese probably thought of as an emotional rollercoaster started, Jacob leaves town and hitches a ride on a random train, which turns out to be that of the Benzini Brothers’ travelling circus. Some minor altercations aside, Jacob joins the circus as a vet and elephant trainer but has enough spare time to begin an awkward flirtation with the circus owner and ringmaster’s wife (Reese Witherspoon), as well as a strange stilted ‘friendship’ with the ringmaster himself (Christopher Waltz).

What happens in the rest of the film is predictable, boring and is barely even pretending to be the emotional rollercoaster the screenwriter was hoping for. The one big event that everything leads up to is a cinematic disaster, thanks to sloppy direction and predictable character deaths. The conclusion is just too neat, tidy and contrived to be of any value at all. No lessons are learnt, no characters are developed; there is no change in pace, no build up, no real sense of denouement, no cathartic release — the entire film plays out like the electrocardiogram of Robert Pattinson’s acting skills: it’s a flatliner.

48 Although both Reese Witherspoon and Christopher Waltz have MAY 15-21 2011

falling flat The one big event that everything leads up to is a cinematic disaster, thanks to sloppy direction and predictable character deaths.

won Oscars, Screen Actors Guild awards and Golden Globes, it’s really only one of them who brings anything to the table in Water for Elephants. Christopher Waltz is the film’s single redeeming feature but sadly he can’t carry the entire film on his shoulders alone. He tries as best as he can to play the subtleties and complexities of August, the manic, repressed, violently cruel ringmaster, but there are really only so many subtleties one man can play on in a film where good and evil characters are so very clear. Even then, it plays to Waltz’ credit that although he is meant to be the clear villain of the piece, it is easier to connect with him than with the protagonists.

There is zero chemistry between the leads — all three of them.

Waltz is by far superior to the rest (surprisingly he’s billed third) but there still is no chemistry between him and Witherspoon. Even the best of actors can not form a connection with wooden counterparts — no one could. And while Witherspoon may have taken home awards for her performance as June Carter Cash in Walk in the Line, here she barely scratches the surface of a character that could have a great deal to offer. So much about her is simply unrealistic — it is a dirty, flea-bitten circus, yet Witherspoon’s character manages to remain perfectly coiffed and dressed like a ‘50s pin up model at any given time. But even with her bottle blonde steeltight curls, her slinky dresses and spangled circus outfits, she is awkward, self-conscious and unlike the ideal of the sexy woman in

the ‘50s, she is so thin she appears brittle. Give me back the sexy, savvy Elle Woods of Legally Blonde any day.

Sadly, very often the elephant in the room really is the only thing worth talking about. Rosie understands Polish! She can do headstands! She can balance on a tiny stool! That’s more of an achievement than Robert Pattinson’s entire acting career will ever result in.

There was so much savagery and colour in circus life during the Great Depression, so many burlesque spectacles and drama that could have made for a rich film with deep, lush visuals. But what we’re served up is a lukewarm with just the hint of something truly cinematic. The romance of circus life and the colour of carnival should resonate in a film like this, but disappointingly, very few scenes live up to their potential. The film is without texture and is peppered randomly with a number of characters who are not given enough screen time to establish themselves and so remain on the sidelines, like minor insignificant accessories. There are a few attempts at capturing a little of the circus’ tawdry side, but once again, these remain attempts. The carnival raunchiness that managed to run deeply through the source material, a book of the same name by Sara Gruen, is not explored by Lawrence.

This is one film that isn’t going to help the sales of the book. Is this animal movie? Is this a romantic drama? There are animals.

There is romance, there is drama. There just isn’t enough of any49 thing at all.

MAY 15-21 2011

THE HATER

10 things I hate about ...sending kids to pre-school

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MAY 15-21 2011

How everyone will convince you that it is integral for your one-and-a-half-year old to socialise with other one-and-

a-half-year old, non-conversing, runny-nosed people. I

didn’t go to pre-school, I turned out just fine — so what if I cried every day through first grade!

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BY SABA KHALID

The interview exercises. Some ask the child to separate the toy animals into domesticated and wildlife catego-

ries, others to sing five nursery rhymes. I’m 27 and I

may not be able to do that. If my child knows all this before even coming to school, I’d probably quit my job, join the pre-school and let HIM do the 9-5!

How incredibly expensive they are. No matter how

many PhDs in child psychology the teacher has, how incredible the cookies and milk are or how big the

campus is, it does not mean that I will pay a ludicrous amount to teach my kid how to play with blocks and

sing and dance to Barney. I can do so much better myself, at home, for nothing!

The race to register. Even if you call the principal from your honeymoon, before the bundle of joy has been

conceived, she will tell you that you are too late and your child will now end up illiterate.

The look on people’s faces if you, God forbid, don’t send

a child to pre-school. It’s the same look they give if you

physically assault your child in public or home-school them.

The pre-school sending mothers. The only reason they agree to send a kid that early is so they can get

their nails done and visit a lawn exhibition during the time the child is away. Shouldn’t the first five years of

the child’s life be spent mostly with the mother and not shuttled here and there with drivers, maids and teachers?

The

Harvard-like

interviews

of

parents.

Most

principals will grill you about everything from your pregnancy to how many languages you know.

The Oxford-like interviews of kids. They seem quite

innocent at first, bringing in some fun toys for your kid to play with. But let me warn you, everything the kids do with the toys will be judged and critiqued by

the evil principal who will probably watch the child like a predator the entire time.

The tuitions. Yes, expensive tuitions are now being offered that can help your child get into the pre-school of YOUR dreams. I repeat, YOUR dreams!

The popping up of pre-schools in every galli and

mohalla with ridiculous sounding names. Why don’t they change the names to the more appropriate “we are

out to get your money, are you stupid enough to give it to us?” a