The Express Tribune hi five - April 13

Ms APRIL 13, 2014

ISSUE NO. 95

A Touch of Drama

4

page

Understanding Workaholism

2

page

inside parenting guide — Help your child cope with academic pressure

domestic goddess —

For shrimp lovers

8

page

Section In-Charge: Sarah Munir Sub-Editor: Amna Hashmi

Pakistan’s sweetheart, Syra Shahroz

2

Ms

the buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

The Truth About Workaholism Workaholism is generally not taken seriously.

Ms T sheds light on how it can affect your personal, physical and mental well-being Are you the first ones to enter the office and often, the last to leave. Do you tirelessly slog away at your desks for hours on end, only to return home and continue working from there. Work isn’t just a part of life for you; it is life. Regardless of where you are, what you are doing and with whom, there is an innate need to review one last financial statement or respond to a co-worker’s email that you cannot ignore. You are so fixated on getting all the work done, all the time, that it is hard to fathom life extends beyond the confines of your oakwood desks. If this sounds like you then you are a workaholic and in serious need of help.

Workaholics are people who suffer from a compulsive need to work — a need so strong that it creates overt disturbances in their personal lives. Statistics from the US, UK and Canada show increases in the proportion of people working more than 50 hours a day, a trend most common in highly educated and highly paid men. Perpetrators and enablers of such a lifestyle view workaholism as a ‘respectable addiction’ which indicates ambition and a diligent work ethic. But while this is indeed true, they fail to recognise the physical, psychological, social and emotional dimensions. “A strong work ethic is an idea so deeply ingrained in our society that we don’t question it,” says Hina Haque, a 22-year-old investment banker from the UK. “After all, what’s wrong with working hard? But in reality, workaholism is a mental disorder and no one realises how detrimental overworking can be.”

The signs of workaholism “Workaholics are out of balance,” says Bryan E Robinson, author of Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics. “A hardworker will be at his desk thinking about ski slopes but a workaholic will be on the ski slopes thinking about his desk.” Such cases come in various types, including those who willingly work overtime, who consider sleep and leisure wasteful and avoid vacations lest they have to leave their work undone. Smartphones, laptops, pagers and other work paraphernalia are their permanent companions so they work on the go. Like Fahd Ali, a manager at a multinational, workaholics are constantly worrying about their corporate duties. “My head is constantly thinking about schedules, deadlines, to-do lists and targets that I have to meet,” admits Fahd. “My work has taken over my entire personality. I can now go on working for hours without any idea of what is happening around me, even if I fall sick or don’t sleep.” Hina explains Fahd’s predicament further in that, “Working all the time feeds your ambition and gives you a sort of high.

Therefore, workaholism is an addiction.” Such conditions are more common in men owing to the traditional gender role of being the financial provider.

Another trait common to workaholics is an intrinsic desire for perfection in everything they do, discouraging them from delegating and thereby, perpetrating irritability and exhaustion. Stories like that of 21-year-old Moritz Erhardt, who died after working for three consecutive days during an internship in an American bank are rife in the media but few people seem to take workaholism seriously. Perfectionists deem others inept or too unmotivated to undertake a task efficiently and settle upon doing it themselves, increasing their already burgeoning workload.

In some rare cases, despite all their extra efforts, workaholics manage to remain energetic and happy. This special brand of workaholics has an overwhelmingly enthusiastic approach to life, competes fiercely and sets high standards for itself. Ambition, success and recognition are hallmarks it strives for and more often than not, achieves.

A dangerous path It is often said that a workaholic’s desire for success stems from their own sense of selfworth. Through their work, these individuals feel in control of their lives and the more wealth, power and status they achieve, the deeper they sink into it. Some like Sara Majid, an economist, work hard to overcome their fears of failure. “I live in fear that I will lose my position at the top,” she admits. “A small mistake can set my career back by years so I keep going on. I don’t even remember the last time I slept for more than three hours!”

by Mehreen Ovais

3

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

It has also been found that workaholics tend to construct a self-image and engage in a constant mission to fulfil it, for themselves and for others. “It is all about impression management,” shares Omer Khan, a manager at a multinational. “You reply to your boss’s email in the middle of the night just once and you’ll be seen as someone who’s got what it takes to succeed.” This also discourages employees from taking holidays or breaks lest they appear lazy. Socio-economic factors like family and peer pressures and social expectations all encourage workaholism.

Of course, the media promotes the enslaving corporate culture further by glamorizing high-powered jobs.

TV shows such as Suits and The Practice only fuel one’s desire to be fast-talking, urban money makers to a point where our health, friends and family take a backseat so long as our work gets done. “We have to be super efficient and work like robots every day. Nothing seems enough,” says motivational coach Santosh Nair.

Living to work?

Predictably, workaholism has a number of dire health issues including insomnia, anxiety, stress and heart diseases. Increasing stress levels often lead to abnormal weight gain (or loss) and substance consumption.

But there is much more to the vice than just physical effects. In their obsession, workaholics often lose sight of other priorities in life. A common reaction, for instance, is regarding marriage and parenthood as unnecessary distractions and many women like Sara avoid settling down. “Work is the reason I keep delaying marriage prospects,” she shares. As for those who do have families, the unhealthy amount of time and energy they spend on work causes emotional detachment and psychological damage, not just to them but to their dependants as well. Workaholism is a leading cause of marital friction as spouses are neglected and grow resentful of their significant other. “Sometimes, I feel like I am the only one in my marriage and my husband is married to his job,” confesses Aisha Hassan, who feels alone due to her spouse’s unavailability. “I go to dinners and parties alone, making excuses for him.

It is impossible to compete with his job.” Such feelings are stronger amongst women who give up their own careers for their families. Disconnect also arises between workaholic parents and their children. Lawyer Aleena Hassan didn’t realise she was a workaholic until

her children stopped interacting with her completely.

“I was constantly working and hence, getting angry at my kids,” she recalls. In some cases, the children develop depression and inferiority complexes due to absentee parenting.

Breaking free of a dangerous cycle The first step to eradicating a problem is recognising it. Most workaholics have no inkling as to their disastrous working habits and justify it by saying that they work for their families. What they don’t realise is that unsound habits actually reduce productivity as stress, fear, inability to delegate and need for perfection only slows them down.

The most effective way of overcoming workaholism is by balancing your work life with other social and physical activities, such as sports or arts which will offer a break from the corporate world. “I used to be a workaholic until I sustained a spinal injury last year,” shares Muhammad Haris, who works in advertising.

“Now, after two surgeries, I take out time for exercise.

It helps me decompress. It’s a healthy channel to pump my energies into.”

An important step for every recovering workaholic is to establish a proper sleep cycle and disconnect from all technology at least half an hour before getting into bed. “The endless stream of digital information aggravates workaholism,” suggests Harris. “I used to remain connected throughout. Now, I make sure to detach from my phone and computer at night and on weekends.”

Also, interpersonal relationships can be huge saviours for a recovering workaholic. Parents, spouses and children play a significant role in identifying a problem and providing support to the patient as they recuperate. Attacking or avoiding the problem only fuels the fire and leads to personal discrepancies. It is advisable to approach the patient cautiously and help them come out of their ailment patiently.

Most importantly, it is essential to maintain the right perspective in life and learn how to prioritise. A fresh and healthy work-life balance is what one should strive for. Therefore, we must re-evaluate our goals and how we wish to pursue them before it gets too late.

The workaholic meter: could you be one too?

Could you or someone you know be a workaholic? Take the Bergen Work Addiction Scale test and find out.

Look at the statements below and rank yourself on each, according to the following: 1 = Never, 2 = Rarely, 3 = Sometimes, 4 = Often and 5 = Always. Best of luck!

1) You think of how you can free up more time to work.

2) You spend much more time working than initially intended.

3) You work in order to reduce feelings of guilt, anxiety, helplessness and depression.

4) You have been told by others to cut down on work without listening to them.

5) You become stressed if you are prohibited from working.

6) You prioritise work over hobbies, leisure activities and exercise.

7) You work so much, it has negatively influenced your health.

If you score 4 (Often) or 5 (Always) on four or more of the seven statements, it may indicate you are a workaholic.

4

Ms

en vogue

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

High Fashion, High Drama

Syeda Amera displays her dramatic new collection

5

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Hair & Makeup: Nighat Misbah @ Depilex Designer: Syeda Amera Photography & Styling: Fayyaz Ahmed Model: Sadaf

6

Ms

parenting guide

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

Degrading for a grade Are we subjecting our children to unnecessary academic pressure?

When 14-year-old Noor Hayat entered the room bearing a gun, she assumed he wanted to celebrate his exam results by shooting into the air. After all, he had finally managed to clear the sixth grade after two futile attempts in the last three years. What followed was beyond her wildest imagination; something that will likely haunt her forever.

March 31, 2014 will forever be remembered as a dark day at the I Sakhakot Government School in Malakand, KPK. It marks the loss of an innocent, young life. More importantly, it marks the day parents, teachers, society and education system once again failed to protect our children.

Unfortunately, Noor is but one example of a child succumbing to academic pressure. His story lends credence to the burdens we unknowingly put upon our offspring, with the hopes of making them accomplished individuals. In this race, the child loses the status of being a child. Instead, he must be a walking talking superhuman who excels in academics, sports and extracurricular activities and doesn’t associate with anyone whose report card may bare a red mark or two. He is elbows deep in homework to be completed before his 5pm Taekwondo class so that he has ample time to rehearse the dialogues for the upcoming school play. He will be exhausted at night but at least he will make his parents proud.

The point is, whether parental or societal, the pressure to meet expectations is slowly killing our children or at least, making them machines through which parents can live vicariously and boast about to other parents. “In Pakistan, the emphasis on grades is directly proportional to the worthlessness of the degree,” says Abbas Husain, Director and the Teacher’s Developement Centre in Karachi. “Our flawed education system lays too much emphasis on grades. The irony is that these grades mean nothing. They show nothing of a child’s talents or ability to succeed in the future.”

The relentless pressure to do well in school starts early on with three or four year olds being sent to tuition classes for admission into a prestigious school. Some parents enrol their toddlers in preschool so that they may learn to read and write well before they are required to. Mothers toil away into the night, helping their children study and the same children arrive at school sleepdeprived, exhausted and unlikely to absorb anything that is being taught to them.

“The issue is larger than parents,” suggests Abbas. “Parents hail from a defective education system which worships grades but pays little heed to actual learning and development. Except for a few exceptional institutions, most of the local education is just rote-learning. A child’s ability to reason, think independently and solve problems is rarely nurtured.”

The tragedy manifests itself not

just in the form of post-result suicide but a generation of youngsters giving up simply because they are made to feel inept. Constant comparison to successful students begets inferiority complexes and take a toll on a child’s emotional wellbeing. It propagates the idea that our children must perform in school to keep their parents happy and so much pressure is difficult to bear, especially by young minds. “This is a waste of human capital. It isn’t just suicide, it is intellectual suicide,” stresses Abbas.

Granted grades are an important factor in a child’s climb up the career ladder but they are not the be all end all of life. In a rapidly changing world like ours, any knowledge we acquire is likely to become obsolete within a few years so it is futile stressing over grades this much. Instead, parents ought to encourage co-curricular activities like sports and arts that will spur their child’s growth and help him become a well-rounded individual. They must understand that their child may not be a straight A student but may have other qualities that should be celebrated. The sooner they accept this, the better.

by Amna Hashmi

domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

Recipe

Crispy Shrimp Fritters Tantalise your taste buds with my recipe for the ideal appetiser, Crispy Shrimp Fritters. These little bits of seafood goodness are light, fluffy and bursting with the tangy flavour of Worcestershire sauce.

Arooj Waqar runs a Facebook cooking page called Mona’s Kitchen and aspires to convert her passion for cooking into a career

Method • Wash the shrimps thoroughly in a bowl of water and pat them dry using a towel.

• Once dry, apply salt, pepper, mustard and Worcestershire sauce to each shrimp and set aside for an hour.

• In a small bowl, whisk the egg until it becomes a liquid mixture.

• Sprinkle flour over the marinated shrimps, dip them in the whisked egg and coat with bread crumbs. For complete coverage, press the shrimps well when applying the bread crumbs.

• Allow the shrimps to cool for a couple of hours by placing them in the freezer.

• Deep fry them on medium flame until they become golden brown in colour.

• Strain all of the excess oil out before serving.

• Pair the shrimps with roasted potatoes and a garlic dip. Your appetiser is now ready!

Ingredients:

Shrimp pieces

Salt and pepper (to tasate)

Black pepper to taste

Mustard sauce (levelled) 1 tsp

Flour

Egg 1

Bread crumbs

Oil

Worcestershire sauce (levelled) 1 tsp

T-Diary 8

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 13, 2014

e rit ou . av ru y f ba m Ru of , e cts On roje p d an t an rt po im ry ve My first wedd ing annivers ary with a few of my favourite pe ople!

Diaries

es ani powerhous orld of Pakist w e th to in e A glimps

My f athe r and

I on

my w eddin g da y.