The Express Tribune hi five - April 20

Ms APRIL 20, 2014

ISSUE NO. 96

Floral Fantasies

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Rise Against Domestic Violence

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inside fashion smashion —

How to pick the perfect diamond

domestic goddess —

This Easter, get roastin’

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Section In-Charge: Sarah Munir Sub-Editor: Amna Hashmi

The legendary Bushra Ansari

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Ms

the buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

Push has come to shove In order to curb domestic violence in Pakistan, its legal and legislative aspects need to be understood “Kahaani tou bohat lambi hai,” says Arifa* as she works up the courage to share an account of her life. For a woman in her late 20s, she looks weak and haggard and slightly fearful and wary as she gradually opens up.

Raised in Hyderabad, Arifa decided to come to Karachi when she couldn’t deal with the raging problems at home caused by her father’s demise. She lived in a hostel and worked at a fashion store for nearly two years till the inevitable question was posed to her: ‘Log kya kahenge?’ “You should get married. You need a man’s support,” she says she was advised.

A lady she knew from her neighbourhood got her married to a man, who she later discovered was part of a criminal group. He was an alcoholic, a womaniser and batterer. “He even asked me to indulge in wrongful activities,” which she refused, she shares.

“After two years, God gifted me with a beautiful daughter,” Arifa says, and for her daughter’s protection, turned to a human rights organisation for help. “I asked for assistance in filing for khula (right to seek divorce) and assurance that I’ll get my 15-month-old daughter’s custody.” But Arifa’s husband threatened the institution with violence. This turned the tables and the organisation began fighting for him instead. “I could have either saved our respect, or our (for herself and her child) lives.”

Disillusioned, she took matters into her own hands and decided that both her child and she should die. “I finished her life and tried to take my own. We were rushed to the hospital; my daughter died on the way and after being in critical condition for six days, I survived... only because I had to bear more sufferings.”

When she regained consciousness, she was interrogated by the police. She told them what had happened and was jailed for years. Her husband sent divorce papers during her time in prison and when she was released, all her relatives shut their doors on her. Her family got her admitted to a mental hospital where she stayed for two years and was given electric shocks and sedatives.

After the dust settled, she began a new life. Once again, she was pestered by people to remarry. And so, she did. She was directed to the man through a marriage bureau. She openly told him about her past, which he readily accepted. But after just ten days of marriage and for no apparent reason, her husband informed her via a mere text message that he cannot live with her. On this unsettling note, she separated from him as well and till today she waits for the divorce papers.

In a span of over 10 years, Arifa’s world turned upside down. Not only was she physically and emotionally abused by the first husband and psychologically jolted by the second, she also labelled as depraved by a

by Ayesha Shaikh

‘morally upright’ society.

Till this day, Arifa repents the loss of her daughter, who she thought at the time, be it rightfully or wrongfully, deserved to die than to live a life devoid of respect. It has been seven years since this dreadful occurrence, but Arifa still struggles to sleep. “Every time I close my eyes, I see my daughter’s face. I curse myself and regret that even if my husband had given her to the bawds, at least, she’d still be alive.”

Unfortunately, Arifa is just one example of the trials faced by women in Pakistan. Samira*, who holds a Masters degree in International Relations, shares that her in-laws and husband of ten months consider beating the daughters-in-law and wives as a display of ‘manhood’. In fact, her husband’s family aids and abets the thrashing. “Once, over a petty request, my brotherin-law beat me up like mad,” she says.

As far as her intimate relations with her husband are concerned, Samira’s husband sometimes uses force on her. “Once, when I refused, he twisted my hand so badly that it became swollen,” she shares. But in spite of having experienced physical, psychological, sexual and economic abuse, Samira is willing to reconcile and so is her family.

The phenomenon of domestic violence is complex, to say the least. But we can attempt to understand its legislative and legal implications, and the probable solutions, so that more Arifas and Samiras out there can seek solace.

While the prevalence of domestic violence in patriarchal societies is mostly perpetrated against women as they have reduced rights, that is not to say men don’t face it

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

Are men in Pakistan victims of domestic violence?

Domestic violence is often viewed as a woman-centred issue, but it must be acknowledged that men are also susceptible to it. “While the prevalence of domestic violence in patriarchal societies is mostly perpetrated against women, as they have reduced rights, that is not to say men don’t face it,” says Hera Hussain, founder of chaynpakistan. org, a website devoted to supporting women experiencing domestic violence.

She informs that there are various cases where men are forcibly married to women they don’t want to be with or face extreme emotional abuse from their wives and in-laws. “Although easy to get out of an abusive situation if you are a man because society allows you to have control of assets, and it’s less taboo,” she adds.

Domestic violence in law and legislature In the absence of specific laws against domestic violence in Pakistan, the wide-ranging Sections 332 to 337 of the Pakistani Penal Code (PPC) cover merely one aspect of domestic violence — physical abuse.

But Sindh and Balochistan’s Domestic Violence (Prevention and Protection) Acts of 2013 and 2014, respectively, accommodate other forms of domestic abuse as well.

While the level of implementation of the Act in Balochistan remains to be seen, the Sindh Act has not been executed even a year after its enforcement. “Neither a Commission nor a Protection Committee (as prescribed by the Sindh Act) have yet been formed,” says Maliha Zia Lari, a human rights activist and lawyer, who helped frame the bill.

In some cases of domestic violence, both persons can inflict physical injuries on each other. This happens when a victim acts in self-defence.

In such instances, identification of the ‘predominant’ aggressor or the one with the most ability to commit a violent assault is often tricky.

Police officials mostly make arrests on the basis of visual evidence, which could be misleading. Political pressure also influences them to remain silent on the matter.

Not only do these factors let perpetrators off the hook, they also unearth a serious pitfall in the process of conviction. “Questions such as whether the act of domestic violence is physical, emotional and sexual, or a mixture, will all be major factors in determining who the predominant aggressor is,” says Lari. ‘The Stop Violence Against Women’ project by The Advocates for Human Rights, a non-profit that works locally and globally to fight injustice, suggests that factors which should be taken into consideration include whether the injuries are offensive or defensive in nature and their level of seriousness.

Both men and women should be evaluated using a standard procedure, so that justice can be done instead of shunned.

Governmental and non-governmental organisations With the increasingly potent role of human rights and non-governmental

In Pakistan, the wide-ranging Sections 332 to 337 of the Pakistani Penal Code (PPC) cover merely one aspect of domestic violence — physical abuse organisations (NGOs) in Pakistan, efforts made by the government are often deemed to be insufficient. The government and concerned NGOs share the common goal of safeguarding the vulnerable, but often fail to complement each other in attaining it.

So, should the two entities work hand in hand? “Why not?” says politician Sharmila Farooqi, who is one of the two members of the Sindh Human Rights Commission. “Everyone should be brought together on the same platform. However, there is a lack of communication between the government and NGOs.” Conversely, Sarim Burney, Chairman of the Sarim Burney Welfare Trust International, believes that the government and NGOs are different entities and “it’s better if they don’t collaborate.” According to Hera Hussain, “The government needs to recognise the plight of women and support ventures that wish to establish institutions which aid abused women.”

What can be done?

One way of curbing domestic violence is to simplify its reporting process. The procedure of launching a complaint against domestic abuse is so daunting that many women don’t even consider it a viable option. Hussain feels, “The system is so unjust and cruel that it is better if the victims often don’t report it. We need a system where women are not treated as ‘guilty’ for coming forward.” Meanwhile Farooqi suggests, “Victims should be provided with a single-window operation where all the facilities are available in one place. More women crisis centres need to be initiated at tehsil and district levels.”

Hussain, Farooqi and Burney agree that the police have the most important role to play in alleviating domestic violence. According to Hussain, women need to be physically safeguarded by the police because the time a woman leaves an abusive home is the most dangerous for her. And Farooqi suggests that the police need to be sensitised. “They should have the authority to recover victims who contact them and safely take them to their parents or a shelter home.

After a week, the same police officials should follow up on the case.

The day this happens, women will feel secure,” assures Burney.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy

Ms

Ella’s new semiformals bright and beautiful, just like spring

en vogue

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

Spring Fling

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Hair & Makeup: Nabila @ N. Pro Label: Ella Photography & Styling: Umair bin Nisar Model: Ella Hussain

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fashion smashion

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

Gem of a stone Buying the right diamond isn’t so rough

by Tehmina Khalid

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s an ideal form of conspicuous consumption, a diamond may be one of the most expensive and hopefully lasting purchases one can make. Be it for jewellery or investment purposes, a good quality one carat diamond can cost anywhere between $5,000 to $10,000, ie roughly Rs500,000 to Rs100,000. And since fewer women comprehend what determines the price, here is a basic understanding of the stone and its structure to help you find a rock that suits your budget and is your money’s worth.

Most women are too preoccupied with the size of a diamond to consider the other aspects of purchasing the stone. In effect, diamonds are amongst the most sought-after natural substances in the world. Found in a handful of countries, namely India, Australia, Canada and Angola, with the largest volume coming from Russia and the finest from Botswana, diamonds are a derivate of carbon. These sparkling gems are formed due to intense pressure accumulating beneath the surface of the Earth which crystallises the carbon, thereby turning it into the diamond as we know it.

Similarly, its retail also has a bit of science to it. There are four basic factors you must consider to determine the quality of the stone: colour, clarity, cut and carat. The four Cs come together to determine its price, each having a significant effect.

THE FOUR

Colour: The colour of a diamond is set by a grading system developed by the Gemmological Institute of America, ie the GIA System, with the highest grade, the letter D, awarded to a colourless white diamond. According to the system, there are 23 shades of diamonds with a letter grade denoting each of them. They range from entirely colourless to faint, light and light in gradual transition, all the way to a Z. Although most of the colour differences may be invisible to the untrained eye, most people can spot the transition within the I to J range. The colour becomes more obvious as the carat size increases and can occur in blue and red, the rarest in the world.

Cut: The cut of a diamond is a pre-requisite when gauging its quality as it affects the overall symmetry and proportioning of the gem. There are a number of popular cuts today, including the round, princess, trillion, oval, marquise, baguette, heart and pear. There is more to the cut however, than just shape; a diamond’s cut grade refers to how well it reflects light. Cutting the world’s hardest-known substance to exact proportions and polish to deliver the right return of light requires excellent workmanship, further raising the price of the rock.

Clarity: Defects in a diamond, such as minerals or laser lines sustained from cutting are called ‘inclusions’. The GIA system also determines the clarity with another chart beginning from FL meaning flawless, which is inclusion-free diamond, up to I3, denoting obvious inclusions affecting the diamond’s shine and transparency.

A very slightly included diamond, the VSI, may cost less and look just as pretty as a flawless one.

Carat:

RULE History matters: A point to note is that in many parts of the world, particularly African nations like Sierra Leone, Angola and Congo, ‘conflict diamonds’ are illegally mined and sold to finance insurgencies and rebels. In order to strengthen the international diamond market and eradicate the exchange of ‘blood diamonds,’ the Kimberly Process Certification Scheme (KPCS) was developed in early 2002 which brought large volumes of diamonds to the legal market. Many international jewellers like Tiffany and Co only trade with countries that fulfil KPCS’s requirements. However, most local diamond dealers across the world will claim to have acquired their diamonds legally. So if the history of your diamond is important to you, ask your jeweller for proof of his source and invest only when you are thoroughly satisfied.

Once you have settled upon how much you are willing to spend on the first three C’s, you can determine the carat size to fit your finances and quality benchmark. A single carat equals 200mg on the metric system. While women generally prefer dealing in whole numbers, diamond carats start at ‘magic sizes’ such as 0.25, 0.5 and 0.75 up to the hundredth decimal. As the carat size increases the price of the diamond rises exponentially. Purchasing a diamond just below a whole carat mark, say 0.8 for one carat, can save you thousands of rupees without any visible differences.

There are also a number of other measures one can take to pick the right diamond. For instance, the brightness test determines quality by examining the external and internal work of light from the diamond and the spectrum it creates — the better the reflection, the better the diamond. In addition to this, the authenticity of the gem can be determined by its thermal conductivity and hardness as real diamonds are almost fire and scratch proof.

It takes about 700 degrees Celsius to burn a diamond.

Unfortunately, true gem quality diamonds constitute only 25% of all the diamonds in the world.

Once purchased, all jewellery stores exchange a

certificate of guarantee which states the weight, cut, clarity and price of the diamond. Much like any other industry, the diamond business is monopolised by a few leading companies which often tend to charge more than the rest. DeBeers, for instance, is the largest diamond company in the world, conducting diamond mining and trade across the world from its offices in South Africa, UK and Canada. From an investment point-of-view, one must note that the value of a diamond rarely falls as prominent diamond cartels strive to maintain its value globally. Hence, they do not always reap the highest financial rewards.

domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

Easter Sunday is the ideal excuse for a rich roast dinner. This year, indulge yourself with my recipe for juicy leg roast served with seasonal salad and sides of your choice. The condiments add a touch of flavour and the meat is so succulent, it literally melts in your mouth. I guarantee you will love it!

Preparation time: Overnight marination, 2 hours for cooking.

Serves: 3 to 4 people Calorie Count: 200 kcal/100gms

Recipe

Easter Lamb Roast

Method For freshly ground spices: • Toast the spices in a pan until their aromas are infused together.

• Cool and pulse the spices together in a spice chopper.

• Reserve 1 tbsp of the powder for sprinkling over the roast later.

For the meat: • Before purchasing the meat, ask your butcher to put diagonal gashes on the mutton leg and leave some fat covering it to give the roast a crispier finish.

• Marinate the meat with lemon and salt and let it sit for 10 minutes.

• In the meantime, toast the gram flour in a frying pan until it gives off a warm, toasty smell and set it aside.

• Toast the spices in the same pan.

• In a bowl, add the toasted gram flour and spices together with all the remaining ingredients except the oil and mix thoroughly.

• Place the mutton leg in a large plastic bag and pour the paste on top, spreading it evenly. Tie the loose end of the bag and refrigerate the leg to marinate overnight.

• After the required time has elapsed, take the leg out and put it under steam for about 25 to 30 minutes. In case the meat dries out too much, add a little water.

• Once the meat is cooked, transfer it onto a baking tray along with the residue and bake it for 30 minutes in an oven pre-heated at 200C. • Halfway through baking, grease the leg with butter or oil and sprinkle the fresh ground spices on top.

• You may also cut some potato wedges, cook them in the leftover marinade to go along with the roast.

• Allow the roast to bake until it changes colour.

• Once baked, serve it on a large platter, garnished with lemons, onion rings, coriander and potato wedges.

Your Easter feast is now ready!

Saima Absar does her best to be a good wife, mother, community manager and citizen. She enjoys reading and holds a degree in media management.

Follow her on www.pinterest.com/ saimaabsar

For the meat:

Mutton leg 1 — Papaya paste 1.5 kg (optional) 1/2 cup

White pepper 1 tsp

Yogurt 1/2 kg

Black pepper 1 tbsp

Freshly ground spices

Lemon juice 3 — 4 lemons (and 1 for garnish)

Gram flour (toasted in a pan) 2 tbsp

Green chillies 2 (seedless and chopped)

Ginger and Orange food garlic paste 2 colour 1 pinch tbsp

Oil or butter 3 — 4 tbsp

Salt 1 -2 tsp

Cumin 1 tsp

Cardamom (large) 1

For freshly ground spices:

Garlic cloves 3

Coriander seeds 1 tsp

Chilli flakes 1/2 tsp

Cinnamon stick 1

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, APRIL 20, 2014

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