The Express Tribune hi five - August 2

Ms AUGUST 2, 2015

ISSUE NO. 163

Miscarriage:

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How we stigmatise uncontrollable trauma

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A guide to going abroad

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inside En vogue — A touch of drama

Domestic goddess —

Apple salad pancakes

Section In-Charge: Dilaira Dubash Sub-Editors: Amna Hashmi Nisma Chauhan Designer: Umar Waqas Feedback: women@tribune.com.pk

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The diligent Ghazal Zafar

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Ms

The buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, AUGUST 2, 2015

By Kanwal Tariq As soon as a girl is married, she is barraged with embarrassing questions as to when she will conceive a child. The frequency of such questions and their underlying fervour imply that pregnancy is somewhat sacred, nothing short of a blessing. Ever notice how expecting mothers do not disclose their pregnancy until way past the first trimester? That is a consequence of such a mindset.

Once the initial stages have passed, women rarely have a problem with speaking about pregnancy, morning sickness

and delivery options, etcetera. Everything under the sun, from potty training to nursery decorations is discussed.

But when it comes to one aspect of motherhood, everyone falls silent.

It is surprising that the topic of miscarriage still evokes such fear and rejection among women, regardless of their social class. This stigmatisation of miscarriages — which, medically and logically speaking, are beyond an individual’s control — leads to the demeaning of women everywhere.

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, AUGUST 2, 2015

Although every woman has a different experience of a miscarriage, the typical physical symptoms include cramping and bleeding. This is contingent upon a variety of factors, such as the stage of the pregnancy as well as medical history.

According to the Medical Encyclopaedia of the United States Library of Medicine, a miscarriage is a spontaneous loss of the developing foetus usually within the first 20 weeks of a pregnancy. Almost half of miscarriages occur even before a woman knows she is pregnant. “My patients are often concerned about whether any of their routine activities or eating habits could have been one of the causes of the miscarriage,” informs Dr Shameem, a gynaecologist and private practitioner. “However, the major cause is a chromosomal inadequacy,” she adds. Scientifically, when a foetus has an inadequate number of chromosomes, it begins to separate, therefore causing external bleeding.

Moreover, other causes such as unprompted termination of pregnancy due to excessive drug usage or smoking can also lead to a miscarriage. Infections or diseases such as obesity, or age and medical issues relating to a woman’s reproductive organs are amongst the perpetrators as well. Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) for instance — a condition wherein tiny cysts develop on the uterus — is a leading cause of infertility and miscarriages.

Although miscarriages are a common occurrence in the medical world, they are regarded as a taboo in our society.

As a result, women who experience a miscarriage often refrain from talking about it, out of shame or because they are made to feel that the loss of the child was their fault.

For 27-year-old mother of one, Manahil Zaidi*, her miscarriage led to divorce. “The first time I miscarried was while I was climbing the stairs to my bedroom. The bleeding began out of the blue, suddenly, half way up the stairs.” recalls Manahil.

Her husband and in-laws accused her of having aborted the child by taking pills.

“Despite the incident, I kept trying for a baby. But then I had another miscarriage

and ultimately, my husband and I divorced,” she adds. Fortunately for Manahil, she experienced no complications conceiving a child from her second marriage.

The ideology of blaming the expecting mother for her miscarried child is deeply ingrained in our minds and made all the worse by the culture of silence surrounding it. In fact, many doctors advise patients not to reveal their pregnancy until after the first trimester, in order to avoid having to announce a possible miscarriage as well.

This, in turn, implies that miscarriage is a rare event and hence, something one should be ashamed of.

However, this could not be further from the truth. Globally, about one out of five pregnancies results in a miscarriage.

According to a research published in the Pakistan Journal of Medical Sciences in 2013, almost 50% of pregnancies result in a miscarriage. Out of these, 69% of the incidents occur in the first trimester.

Another misconception people entertain about miscarriage is that physical and mental stress can trigger it. For instance, arguments, exercising, eating certain foods or perhaps even climbing stairs are cited as causes of miscarriages.

“Families of some of my patients who have miscarried blame them for it,” says Dr Huma, a gynaecologist at Al-Shifa Hospital. “They credit the patient’s alleged lack of responsibility when in reality, the reason for a miscarriage is usually idiopathic, that is that it remain unknown,” informs Dr Huma.

On the other hand, laboratory tests that can determine the actual causes of a miscarriage are not readily available in Pakistan and are expensive. As a result, many doctors and members of society speculate about what caused the miscarriage. For instance, 42-year-old Farah Shahid*, a senior management officer at a private bank, suspected that walking up to her office on the fourth floor caused her first miscarriage and surprisingly, her doctor agreed. However, after the multiple miscarriages that followed, Farah’s doctor found a cyst on her uterus. Therefore, attributing miscarriage to physical or mental stress is, arguably, speculative unless and until one is doing extremely strenuous physical activity.

The stigma surrounding miscarriage not only makes women feel isolated — that too, after losing their child — but the silence makes them internalise the entire experience. Women are rarely prepared for the deep psychological effects of miscarrying and often tend to blame themselves. This constant worry and the inability to discuss the issue can ultimately, lead to depression. “Women may suffer trauma, anxiety and depression after losing a baby, especially if a couple lacks emotional support for one another,” informs Dr Huma.

In a study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2011, it was stated that about 50% to 80% of women who experience the loss of pregnancy do conceive again. But for many, the symptoms of depression from the first miscarriage continue to linger for years, even after giving birth to another healthy baby. Therefore, experts believe that the only way to minimise the pain is to speak up.

Last year, Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr Jessica Zucker wrote an article for The New York Times, detailing her own experience of miscarriage. To broaden the scope of dialogue, Jessica also took to social media and created the hashtag #IHadAMiscarriage on Twitter, hoping to galvanise conversation about lost pregnancy and shed some layers of shame from the topic. The number of responses the hashtag was able to generate was surprisingly high and its success helped both men and women realise just how common a miscarriage is.

Pakistan may still have a long way to go before we can talk about miscarriages openly but as least we can try. The first step is to recognise that a miscarriage is not the woman’s fault nor does it warrant shame, blame or stigma. It’s crucial for not only women but men as well to be educated about the condition. *Names have been changed to protect privacy Kanwal Tariq is a bio-technologist, a writer and a feminist. She blogs at Whirling Cosmos (kanwalmeghjii.wordpress.com) Design by Eesha Azam

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En vogue

Moazzam Abbasi showcases his latest collection Coordination : Loop Makeup : Huma Tahir Outfits : Moazam Abbasi Photography : Raza Jafri Model : Fiza Ali

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, AUGUST 2, 2015

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, AUGUST 2, 2015

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Lifestyle

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, AUGUST 2, 2015

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of heading off to college this year, don’t sweat it! You’re hardly the only one. The feeling is natural. After all, you’re about to embark on a whole new journey and that too, in a strange country far far away.

It’s both thrilling and terrifying at the same time, isn’t it? There are countless possibilities and adventures awaiting you, along with a freedom and independence you have never experienced before. On the other hand, you will be riding solo through these adventures, responsible for everything from studies to doing your own laundry without anyone else to fall back upon.

We speak from experience when we say that you’ll soon realise that longwinded college applications and visa processing is just the beginning, but you know what? Once you’ve settled in, there is no looking back. College is considered the best time of one’s life and we’re sure that by the end of your degree, you will agree.

Still, it never hurts to be prepared beforehand so why not consider our college preparation kit? Read on to find out the seven key things you must do to make your transition as painless as possible. We guarantee you won’t regret it!

By Nudrat Kamal

Thanks to the internet, there is nothing that we can’t find information on online. From the big issues like sorting out your accommodation to smaller things like locating the halal supermarkets closest to your dorms, the internet knows it all. You can even view 3D tours of your university campus online! In fact, the deluge of information might be overwhelming in itself since there is so much to know. Make sure you don’t slip down the Internet rabbit hole. Learn how to distinguish between useful and useless info.

Of course, the possibility on landing upon incorrect information is always there, so it’s useful to find people who can help. You can speak to experienced loved ones or your fellow students who are in the same boat as you. The internet will help with that too. There are online communities for every university, every apartment building and literally, every area code. Almost all schools have some sort of Muslim communities (such as the Muslim Student Association) and other societies and clubs based on religion and ethnicity where you can voice your concerns and get answers. There are also university officials who are willing to speak to you over email or the phone, so don’t hesitate to ask even the silliest of questions.

Although every university requires you to sign up for health insurance, it is advisable to get your medical check-ups done before leaving. This is especially true of dental and optical issues since most health insurance plans don’t cover these. Your prescriptions should be checked, all required vaccinations administered and all medicines bought in bulk before you leave. Don’t forget that different countries have different requirements. In fact, some states within the US ask for different vaccinations.

You will be carrying around a whole lot of important documents with you so invest in a sturdy file or folder lest you lose them.

Also, make copies of each document so that you have something to hold onto. Contact your college prior to departure to see if they need any specific certificates or transcripts, etcetra. And on your departure day, don’t forget to jot down important contact numbers, addresses and other information in a tiny notebook in case your electronics die out.

In today’s globalised world, it’s hard to imagine experiencing culture shock, especially if you’re going to the West. Thanks to the media, we are very much used to everything already. But a culture shock isn’t just being unaware of local customs and ways – it is a psychological response that occurs when one moves to a new country. According to psychologists, culture shock has four phases and you should know how to sail through each. The first is the honeymoon phase, in which everything is new and exciting. Like most honeymoon periods, this stage eventually ends, making way for the negotiation period which occurs usually about three months following your arrival. In this period, the differences between your home and the new place no longer seem exciting and will start to give you anxiety. Homesickness is at its peak during this period and you should expect feelings of frustration and anger. This is especially true for students who don’t have a support system with them. It is important to know that all of these stages pass and you will emerge victorious. Just keep yourself busy and socialise with people as alone time can exacerbate the sadness. Eventually, the third phase of adjustment kicks in and soon after that, mastery.

Even after the adjustment period, homesickness does linger. You must remember that it is perfectly normal to miss your loved ones but it shouldn’t get in the way of your college experience. Social media can bridge the distance you feel, but conversely, it can also instil the anxiety that people are moving on without you. So limit your social media usage to a specific time of the day, like when you are about to go out. Avoid it when you are alone and free, like immediately after waking up or before going to sleep. If you’re already homesick, going through your friends’ newsfeeds and seeing them have fun is not going to help. On the other hand, regular communication definitely helps. Schedule specific times when you can call or Skype with your family and friends and stick to them.

In our society, being a girl who is heading abroad for higher education instead of staying home and seeking a husband does raise a few eyebrows and snide remarks from here and there. It’s annoying, yes, but it is also inevitable. The best thing to do is to take these people in your stride, listen to them politely and then forget about what they said. It’s natural to have moments of doubt and feel like you’re in way over your head. But as Taylor Swift says, ‘just shake it off!’

Nudrat Kamal is freelance writer. She tweets @Nudrat kamal

Design by Hira Freed

Domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, AUGUST 2, 2015

By Huba Akbar

Apple salad pancakes

Breakfast done right!

Method • Prepare the pancakes batter by mixing all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Continue stirring until the batter becomes thick and lumpy in consistency.

• Melt three tablespoons of butter in a skillet, spreading it around to grease the base of the pan.

For each pancake, spoon two or three tablespoons of the batter onto the skillet, using a spoon to spread it around.

• Cook each side for about a minute or two, flipping it carefully until it is golden-brown in colour.

• Once cooked, cut the pancakes in half and set aside.

• While the pancakes are resting, bring three cups of water to a boil for the chicken to cook in.

Season the meat with salt and pepper before placing it in the hot water. Once cooked, retrieve the chicken and allow it to cool down.

• Cut half-inch bits of the chicken and stir it together with mayonnaise, salt, pepper, apples and almonds in a medium-sized bowl. Mix thoroughly and place the salad in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes or so.

• Spoon half a cup of salad onto each pancake.

• Garnish the dish with olives, lettuce, pineapples or cherries and serve chilled.

Note: Leftover salad can be stored in an airtight container and used for up to three days.

Tips for the perfect pancakes

PHOTO: HUBA AKBAR

Batter better: A premade pancake mix may seem like the easier option but preparing the batter from scratch isn’t rocket science either. Just find yourself a good recipe and follow the directions as given. Before you tweak the recipe, remember that too much liquid will give you thin, runny pancakes and too much flour will make them thick and heavy.

Ingredients For the pancakes: • All-purpose flour 2 cups • Baking powder 3 tbsp • Salt 1 tsp • Sugar 1 tsp • Egg 1 • Milk 1 and 1/2 cup • Oil 3 tbsp • A pinch of baking soda For the apple salad: • Boneless chicken breasts (halved) 2 • Freshly ground pepper 1 tsp • Salt 1 tsp

A breakfast favourite, pancakes are one of the most satisfying morning meal items across the world. Especially when loaded with butter, fruits or simple maple syrup, these light and airy cakes are ideal for adults and children alike. But although they aren’t labour-intensive, there are certain tricks you should follow to ensure your pancakes turn out warm, fluffy and symmetrically round. If your pancakes always turn out wonky and misshapen, these tips can help you sort them out.

• Mayonnaise 2 tbsp and 1/2 cup • Cabbage (boiled and finely chopped) 1/2 cup • Apples (cut into 1/4-inch chunks) 1/4cup • Slice almonds (with skin) 1/3 cup

Keep a light hand: Always remember to mix the batter as lightly as you can as over mixing makes the pancakes tough. A few lumps here and there are fine but generally, you should stop mixing once the batter is moist and the ingredients combined completely.

For garnishing: • Lettuce leaf 1 • Olives 1/2 cup • Pineapples (canned) 1 • Cherries 3-4

For good measure: If you wish to make same-sized pancakes, use a measuring cup with a sprout or ladle to pour the batter out. Also, it is advisable to pour the liquid in one spot and allow it to spread itself rather than pouring in a circular motion.

Turn the heat on: Cooking the pancakes at the right temperature is essential for their success. You should begin at medium-heat. The right temperature will also lightly brown the pancake from the bottom and cause the bubbles on top to rise and burst. If the bottom darkens too quickly, turn the heat down.

Keep an eye on the pancakes: Keep in mind that flipping your pancakes more than once increases the chances of damaging them. Typically, a pancake is ready to be flipped once its edges have set in and bubbles have started to pop on the surface which takes about two minutes. Flip the cake and cook for another one to two minutes, until the other side is golden as well.

Woman of the week 8

Posing for a shoot.

On Air live.

Radio Jockey

At the studio.

Many of us, irrespective of what age we might be, are guilty of doodling during our free time or while waiting for something to be done. Some make plans and brainstorm ideas by making fuzzy charts and improper images on the paper. Others draw cartoons and random shapes to kill time. But all of us do. And did you know that scribbling absent-mindedly — or doodling, as it is commonly called — actually facilitates thinking?

We may be surrounded by computer-assisted technology that occupies most of our time but nothing can replace the pleasure of drawing away on blank pages. In fact, according to American graphic designer Milton Glaser, author of a 2008 monograph titled Drawing Is Thinking, when we draw an object our mind becomes deeply attentive, giving way to constructive thinking or perhaps, creativity. So whether you have made a simple doodle or a more deliberate free-hand drawing, the act is essential to expressing spontaneous concepts and emotions.

Moreover, according to a study published in the Journal of Applied Cognitive Psychology, doodlers find it easier to recall dull information than non-doodlers, because the latter are more likely to daydream. Therefore, a shabby-looking picture that you drafted may still have served some significant purpose in your life.

Some celebrities doodle so often that they have even drawn their doodles while giving out autographs! Following is a list of famous doodlers who have shared some of their masterpieces with the world: The late Robin Williams often used to utilise free time constructively by expressing his feelings in his doodles.

The multitalented author, actor, banjo player and comedic genius, Steve Martin can put together a pretty good drawing!

Queen of hilarity and talk show host, Ellen DeGeneres drew this crowd of people in one of her doodles. We can assume it to be a sampling of her audience watching her on the show.

SOURCE: PURPLECLOVER.COM

Design by Hira Freed