The Express Tribune hi five - February 22

Ms FEBRUARY 22, 2015

ISSUE NO. 140

Decoding the nikahnama

2

page

Boost your metabolism

6

page

inside En vogue —

Shimmer and shine

Domestic goddess —

Pineapple cake

Section In-Charge: Sarah Munir Sub-Editors: Amna Hashmi Nisma Chauhan Feedback: women@tribune.com.pk

8

page

The industrious Sumbal Hammad

2

Ms

The buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 22, 2015

MsT takes you through the life-changing document, bit by bit, to highlight some important clauses you might miss out on

By Mehreen Ovais

|

Design by Hira Fareed

Weddings in Pakistan are an interesting affair. Right from the time that the wedding dates are finalised up to the actual event, both sets of families are engrossed in a flurry of excitement and activity. From bridal outfits and dances to the planning, decoration and implementation of the venue — people invest all their energy into perfecting their event, right down to a tee. Unfortunately, in the quest for making their wedding memorable, the bride and groom often overlook the one tiny detail which, as it happens, will seal their impending marriage: the nikahnama.

Don’t underestimate this dull-looking, often poorly-printed document as it is perhaps the most important piece of paper you will ever hold in your life. Once you put your name on the dotted line, there is no looking back and, yet, most couples only see the document seconds before it renders them man and wife. In fact, many families leave the nikah at the mercy of a maulvi who is hired to conduct the ceremony and fills the form as he sees fit. Little or no consideration is given to the terms and conditions the nikahnama includes; couples commence their new lives together unaware of their marital rights.

Although seemingly simple, your nikahnama deserves some attention and analysis before you sign it. A sound knowledge of the nikahnama can actually help the couple understand expectations and their duties towards one another. It is especially important for the bride to align each detail with her partner in order to safeguard her position in the marriage. Years later, if either of the two parties feel that their partner isn’t abiding by the principles of the nikahnama, the matter can be protested in court.

Grounds for dissolution of marriage (as specified by the law): • • • • • • • • •

Absence of husband for four years Neglect or failure of husband to support his wife for two years Addition of a new wife (in breach of nikahnama) Imprisonment of husband for seven years or more Failure of husband to perform marital obligations for three years Impotency of the husband from the time of marriage Insanity, leprosy or contraction of a venereal disease (lasting a period of two years or more) Cruel treatment by the husband Marriage of a woman under 16 and her denial of the marriage before she is 18, provided that the marriage hasn’t been consummated SOURCE: AAHUNG.ORG

3

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 22, 2015

A typical nikahnama begins with basic profiling of the bride and groom, asking for their names, address and relationship statuses. There is a special focus on the age of the bride upon marriage as she should be at least 16 years old for it to be accepted legally (the groom must be 18 or above). Similarly, if the marriage takes place through the court, she must be at least 18. Despite the law, many nikahs are conducted with blank or incorrectly filled age slots. The age of a bride is source of great trepidation in many parts of Pakistan, particularly in the rural areas, where an unmarried girl past her marriageable age is brought in for a nikah. “I was born in 1960 but my nikahnama says 1964,” admits homemaker Nilofer Asghar. “Although my real age upon marriage was 26, my parents felt that it was much too old so they cut off four years of my existence.”

The next few points on the docum document (number 7 to 11) refer to the representatives appointed by the couple to bear witness to their nikah. As per Islamic tradition, the couple gives consent to one representative (each) known as the vakil to conduct the ceremony in the presence of two witnesses (from each side) and the stipulated dowry (if applicable).

The witnesses must include two trustworthy Muslim men who are not next of kin to the bride, eg ascendants like the father or grandfather and descendants like the son or grandson. The points ask for the names, birthdates, addresses and national identity card numbers of the three representatives, along with a specification of the relationship shared between the bride and groom and each of their two witnesses.

One of the mos most important eo mpo ant clauses purported by the nikahnama is that of the haq mehr — an obligatory gift given by the groom to his bride, in consideration of the marriage. Not only should you be well aware of the purpose and importance of the haq mehr, it is also advisable for the two families to discuss and finalise it beforehand to avoid any grievances at the last minute. Points 12 to 17 of the document elucidate the details of the amount that the families have mutually agreed upon, which can be paid in the form of cash, gold or any other valuable item. If gold worth a certain amount is specified, the bride can automatically claim that gold from her bari (gifts given by the groom and his family) as her own.

Unless the mehr is specifically mentioned in the nikahnama, the gold remains a gift in the eyes of the law and must be returned in case of a divorce.

In general, the issue of haq mehr is resolved by the elders, usually the fathers of the bride and the groom. Many parents feel ashamed to demand a specific amount and therefore, ignore the slots in that pertain to it without realising that this could lead to several problems between the couple in the future. Such was the case of nurse Abida Mohsin who resents her parents’ decision regarding her haq mehr, even after four years of marriage. “My in-laws specifically asked us to mention Rs10,000 as my mehr,” shares Abida. “I wish my parents had the courage to contest that. My husband hardly gives me any money now and I am struggling to meet the needs of my children and myself.” Haq mehr secures the bride financially and if the section is left vacant, the wife can challenge her husband in court for not fulfilling his obligation to her. The burden of proof falls upon the husband and he must provide evidence showing that he has paid the mehr as specified on the nikahnama. Although the patriarchal society of Pakistan may not condone it, women can express their desire for a mu’ajjal (when the mehr is paid at the time of the nikah ceremony) or a mu’wajjal (when the mehr is to be paid at the demands of the wife).

The most abused clause in the nikahnama pertains to the chief right of a married woman: ie the right to a divorce (Talaq-e-Tafweez), routinely omitted by moulvis without I had no idea what the so much as consulting the contract meant at that time bride or her family. Striking and honestly didn’t think it the clause off usurps the bride’s right to file for Suit would matter so much. But now, of Dissolution of Marriage I regret not checking the right

by Way of Talaq. Although boxes. If I had, I wouldn’t have many girls are now aware required a khula and risked my of the issue and have raised mehr, property and children their concerns prior to getting married, reserving Homemaker Madiha Sarwar the right to divorce is still somewhat of a social taboo which many families avoid lest they look bad before the in-laws. Banker Rabia Ali, for example, was labelled misguided and rebellious for expressing her desire to retain her right to annulment. “My mother told me I would never have a successful marriage by thinking of divorce right from the start,” she says. “Ultimately, it became such a huge problem than I had no choice but to relent.”

Nonetheless, under Section 8 of the Marriage Family Law Ordinance (MFLO), the husband may delegate the right to his wife by specifying it in clause 18. Having the right protects a woman and offers a way out if her marriage isn’t working. If the related section is left unfilled, she must take the matter to court and file for a khula from the Family Courts of Law, also known as a dissolution of marriage by way of judicial divorce. Unfortunately, a khula denies one of the advantage of the haq mehr, placing them at a financial disadvantage that dissuades many women from seeking it. You must decide whether you want to retain the clause which would entitle you to receive your mehr in case you ever need to initiate a divorce. Although it has been 10 years since she got married, homemaker Madiha Sarwar, still regrets having signed her nikahnama without adequate research. “I had no idea what the contract meant at the time and honestly didn’t think it would matter so much,” she admits.

“But now, I regret not checking the right boxes. If I had, I wouldn’t have required a khula and risked my mehr, property and children!”

There are various other clauses and documents which you can include in your nikahnama.

For instance, many couples determine a monetary allowance which the husband must give the wife every month, thereby further securing her financial. Interestingly, the wife may challenge this amount in court even years after the nikah, keeping inflation and her growing needs in mind. At times, couples have gone as far as to include that the husband will continue to pay the wife her monthly compensation even in case of a separation or divorce. As long as the documents abide by the law, any extra clauses are acceptable, including asking the groom to prove he has been granted permission from his first wife (in the case of polygamy) or deciding who will get custody of children should the couple part ways later.

The nikahnama is almost always left to the very last minute, when there is barely any time for the bride and groom to deliberate over it, despite how immensely important it is. Hence, it is best for all would-be brides, grooms and even their families to take charge and review it with a fine-toothed comb before sealing the deal. It is imperative for you to know your rights and ask for what is rightly yours.

4

Ms

En vogue

Z & J Couture showcases its elegant bridal collection.

Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Hair and Make-up: N PRO Label: Z & J Couture Designers: Zainab and Juvariah Photography: Rohail Khaled Model: Saima Haroon

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 22, 2015

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 22, 2015

5

6

Ms

Lifestyle

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 22, 2015

Our metabolism might be partly ruled by genetics but we can rev it up, thanks to special exercises and a healthy diet

By Nudrat Kamal

If there is one thing every health-conscious, weight-watching individual wishes they had, it’s fast metabolism. Imagine how simple life would be if our metabolism burnt off all the calories we ingested, allowing us to eat and drink as we please without having to worry about weight gain. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

If you answered ‘yes’ to the question above, we’ve got some good news for you! While the prevailing notion regarding metabolism is that it links to your genetics and can’t be changed, scientists and health experts have proven otherwise. Read on to find out how you can speed up weight loss considerably.

According to Dr Moti Khan, a Karachi-based nutritionist, people underestimate the importance of physical activity. “In Pakistan, a lot of women think that daily housework counts for exercise but that isn’t true,” says Dr Moti. “Exercise is only beneficial when it’s done in one, continuous span.” Any form of exercise is great for the body but fitness guru Jeannette Faruque recommends HIIT for those looking to enhance their metabolism. “A good HIIT workout increases your heartbeat in a short time so even 30 seconds of it can work wonders,” explains Jeannette. HIIT is an exercise strategy which alternates between short bursts of intense movement with equally short but less intense recovery periods. HIIT workouts may last from just four to over 30 minutes and have been proven to improve cardiovascular health, fat burning and glucose metabolism. A complete HIIT regime should begin with a warm-up session followed by three to 10 rotations of high and low intensity movements to burn fat and rest simultaneously. Jogging, walking or sprinting are some forms of intense exercises you can try and if HIIT gets too much for you, try doing any regular physical activity for 40 minutes every day.

|

Design by Maryam Rashid

In order to work on your metabolism, you must make sure that you understand what it is and how it can affect your health. In a nutshell, metabolism refers to a complex biochemical process which occurs in the human body during which the calories we have consumed (through food and beverages) are broken down, combined with oxygen and released into the bloodstream as energy.

The calories that are required for basic bodily functions like breathing, blood circulation and cell repair make up your unique metabolic rate. This rate differs from person to person and the more calories needed by your body, the faster your metabolism is. Body size and composition (large people or those with more muscles burn more calories), gender (men have less fat and more muscles than women) and age (the older you get, the slower the calorie-burning gets) are just some of the factors which can affect your metabolic rate. Apart from these, the level of physical activity you perform every day and the amount of energy required to process your food intake also have a direct link to metabolic rates.

While it may be tempting to blame your unfavourable weight on a slow metabolism, the relationship between the two is much more complex.

Weight gain is, in fact, brought on by different factors like genetics, lifestyle, stress and diet composition which lead to an energy imbalance: you might be absorbing more calories than you burn or burning fewer calories than you eat. Weight loss occurs when you burn more than you take in, i.e. when you tip the energy scale to your advantage and hasten your metabolic rate in the process.

Jeannette believes that diets that curtail the amount of carbohydrates ingested aren’t always healthy as the weight-loss they cause isn’t sustainable once the diet ends. Not to mention, they deprive the body of some essential carbs needed for energy. “Ideally, a diet should comprise of everything from the food pyramid, from protein to carbs and fibres,” says Jeannette. “You should also try consuming small meals, five times a day.” Dr Moti agrees with Jeannette, saying, “Skipping meals or starving actually slows down your metabolism and therefore, can be counterproductive.” Unhealthy foods like fried meats and other fat-rich items should be avoided; Dr Moti recommends lots of raw vegetables and foods with high fibre content instead. “Spicy food increases metabolism too, so long as the spice is used in moderation,” she adds.

Did you know that proper fluids can have as great an impact on your metabolic rate as solid food? Dr Moti explains that, “Drinking water is one of the most important practices to spur your metabolism. Eight to 12 glasses of water are a must for everyone!” Unfortunately, too many of us avoid excess water for fear of having to rush to the bathroom — something Dr Moti is strictly against. “This type of thinking must be nipped in the bud,” she says. Aside from water, different types of soups are a delicious way to increase your liquid intake.

Many women around the world suffer from hormonal conditions like hypothyroidism and poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) which slows the metabolic rate down, thereby making it hard for them to shed fat. Dr Moti acknowledges that it becomes extremely difficult — both physically and psychologically— for these women to lose weight so they must put in some extra effort. However, with increased physical activity and a proper diet, it can be done. “If a regular person exercises for 40 minutes daily, women with hormonal problems should workout for an hour,” says Dr Moti.

Published in Sweden in 1974, the food pyramid is a diagram representing the ideal number of servings one should eat daily of each of the seven food groups (dairy, fruits, meat, vegetables, confectionary, water and grains, beans and legumes).

Domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 22, 2015

By Arooj Waqar

Indulge in the goodness of pineapple with this scrumptious cake

Ingredients For the sponge: • Flour 6 tbsp • Sugar 6 tbsp • Eggs 4 For cream: • Cream 1 pack • Powdered sugar 5 tbsp • Pineapple 1 can

Canned Vs. Fresh Pineapples If you prefer to buy canned pineapples instead of fresh ones, you are not alone. After all, why go through the struggle of peeling and cutting a fresh pineapple when we have an easier solution, right? Wrong!

Unfortunately, canned pineapples have a fewer amount of nutrients and minerals as compared to fresh ones. Even though it is safe to consume canned food from time to time, a lot of the nutrients are lost in the canning process. In the case of pineapples, the canned variety offers almost 60% less Vitamin C as raw pineapple. The latter is also rich in an anti-inflammatory enzyme called Bromelain which is destroyed during packaging.

Not to mention, canned pineapple is packed with preservatives to maintain its freshness but the chemicals found in them can prove detrimental in the long run.

All in all, one cup of canned pineapple provides 28% of the daily value nutrients and minerals required for a healthy body. Hence, it may be safe to consume sometimes but if you love fruits and crave pineapple regularly, fresh and juicy is the way to go!

Skinny Pineapple Smoothie Are you craving for a tall glass of a fruit smoothie but too conscious about cheating on your diet? Try this skinny pineapple smoothie, packed with the goodness of sweet and tangy pineapple.

Method For the sponge: • Beat the eggs thoroughly until they become stiff. Add sugar to the egg liquid, beating continuously.

• Fold in the flour and pour the mixture into a greased baking pan.

• Bake the mixture until it becomes golden brown on the sides.

• Cut the cake in two halves and set it aside to cool.

For the cream: • Beat cream and add sugar to it until it forms peaks.

• Pour in a few tablespoons of pineapple juice from the can of pineapple chunks.

Place the mixture in the fridge to cool.

• Apply the remaining pineapple juice onto the two halves of the cake.

• Apply cream on one half and place chunks of pineapple on it. Cover the sponge completely.

• Coat entire cake with cream and decorate it with chunks of pineapple.

• Allow the cake to sit in the fridge for about an hour or so before serving.

Ingredients: • • • • •

Frozen pineapple 1 cup Banana (medium sized)1/2 Crushed ice 1/2 cup Vanilla yogurt 1/2 cup Fat free milk 11/2 cups

Method • Add the pineapple, banana, yogurt and crushed ice in a blender and mix them with 1 cup of milk. Blend it until mixture becomes a smooth liquid.

• Pour about 1/4 cup of milk at a time until your desired consistency is reached.

• Serve chilled!

Woman of the week 8

Me

With my husband Hammad.

CEO at the House of Aphrodite

With models.

Personal branding and its importance in today’s world

00092002910019

Back in 2001, global fashion icon Victoria Beckham indicated the importance of personal branding when she said, “I want to be as famous as Persil Automatic.”

By comparing herself to the laundry detergent, she cleverly pointed out her desire to become a household name and, unsurprisingly, fourteen years down the lane, she has done just that. Victoria is living proof that one can achieve anything they desire if they learn how to sell themselves well.

Whether you are currently hunting for a job or not, building an appropriate image of yourself is extremely important, especially in this day and age where individuality is key.

Today, we have — consciously or unconsciously — incorporated personal branding into our daily lives. From our Facebook and Instagram profiles, to how we conduct ourselves in public, everything adds colour and depth to our story. And nowhere is this more important as when you are being interviewed. Your resume may be great but it’s useless if you can’t elaborate on it verbally. Therefore, treating yourself as a brand can help you create a strong image of yourself and allow recruiters decipher what you’re all about.

According to UK-based personal branding expert Jennifer Holloway, most of us make the mistake of selling ‘what’ we have to offer as opposed to ‘whom’. “When people buy a person — which is exactly what’s happening in a job interview — the ‘who’ is more important,” explains Jennifer. To make your ‘who’ stand out, try the following tips and get one step closer to your dream job.

You must understand that personal branding is about amalgamating the two key elements of your personality — the ‘what’ and the ‘who.’ The ‘what’ refers to everything you will bring to the organisation through skills, knowledge and experiences.

On the other hand, ‘who’ highlights the person you are, your values, behaviour and reputation. The perfect blend of these two elements will make you stand out.

It is very important for you to know and work on who you are. The image you build should reflect your personality as closely as possible.

To understand your attributes (in a corporate setting) better, ask yourself what do you do better than anyone else, what are your top values and operating principles and how do you go about the tasks handed to you?

And most importantly, what is so unique about all of it?

Liaising with potential colleagues is important to hear about new job opportunities and opening the doors of opportunity for yourself.

There are plenty of different social networking websites on the internet but the most commonly used site is LinkedIn where you can build your corporate profile online, browse vacancies and have recruiters screen your credentials virtually. If you are looking to voice your opinions and ideas, Twitter and Pinterest might be better platforms for you. Other websites like Google+ and Facebook are much more ‘social’ in nature but great if you wish to garner a fan following for your pictures, artistry or blog. Also bear in mind that your profile picture will be the first thing anyone visiting your profile sees. According to Jennifer, a good picture is one where the personality clues have been thought about and are used to deliver your brand image. Your dressing, expression and pose in the picture will speak volumes about your personality. “A tilt of your head suggests you’re a good listener. A beaming smile suggests you’re warm and welcoming.

A serious expression suggests you get down to business,” says Jennifer. Therefore, pick out a decent, professional shot. After all, first impressions are the last impressions.

A 2014 study by CareerBuilder.co.uk found that 50% of recruiters have used search engines such as Google in order to research potential job candidates and 48% used social networking sites. Therefore, always scrutinise the comment, opinions, pictures and ‘likes’ you share online to avoid giving off the wrong image.

Design by Maryam Rashid