Ms FEBRUARY 3, 2013 ISSUE NO. 33
Understand the Aquarian
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Trend alert: Hot hair colours for 2013
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inside drama mama —
When parental favouritism sneaks in
domestic goddess —
Rich, scrumptious banana bread
Section In Charge: Batool Zehra Send your feedback to women@tribune.com.pk
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Myths about contraception
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Ms
the buzz
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
What Your Mother Won’t Tell You About Contraception Clue-ing you in on birth control by Taneeya Hasan The realisation that you’re married has barely sunk in; you’re still in your honeymoon phase so it’s not his snoring that keeps you up nights; you haven’t yet decided whether you want to deal with NADRA and officially change your status on your CNIC card. But already, the chachis and the mamis, the parosans and the parlour wali are doing a better job of scanning you than any ultrasound machine, and the question “Kia tum pregnant ho?” is on everyone’s minds, if not their lips. You hope not, but all the tips from your three unmarried friends and the married one with a teenage son seem unreliable. So every time you feel slightly nauseous you wonder if it has less to do with the fact that you just caught sight of your saas and more because of a ‘nanna shehzada’. All this could be so much easier if you just knew what to do, separate the superstitions from the science and take an informed decision. So here is the low-down on all the birth control methods that you may be too embarrassed to ask your mother about. The oral contraceptive/ Birth control pill: Despite all the bad rap the pill gets from your khalas and phuppos — weight gain, cancer, and scarier than both, nebulous ailments — it is the most reliable contraceptive and one of the most popular forms of birth control. There are two main types of oral contraceptive pills available in the market. The combined pill contains synthetic versions of the female hormones oestrogen and progesterone and stops the ovaries from releasing an egg to be fertilised. The progestogen-only pill, which is commonly called the minipill or POP, does not have the hormone oestrogen and acts by thickening the mucus around the uterus so that sperm can’t pass through. The combined pill, if taken regularly, has a 98% success rate. One hormone pill is taken each day at about the same time and most combination pills come in either a 21-day pack or a 28-day pack. This means that, depending on your pack, you will either stop taking birth control pills for 7 days or you will take a pill that contains no hormones (a placebo) for 7 days. Some women prefer the 28-day pack because it helps them stay in the habit of taking a pill every day. Failure in maintaining the pill cycle, excessive vomiting, diarrhea and intake of other drugs can increase the chances of pregnancy. The progestin-only pill is recommended over regular birth control pills for women who are breastfeeding because the mini-pill does not affect milk production (oestrogen reduces the amount of breast milk). Gynaecologist Dr Saadia Pal considers the mini-pill the “safest contraceptive pill because it has low levels of hormones” and can be taken on a regular basis without any breaks between packets. The latest formulations even stop you ovulating, just like the regular pill, reducing your chances of pregnancy even more. “The mini-pill can be taken while breastfeeding while regular combinations pills can be taken after 6 months of breastfeeding,” recommends consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Azra Ahsan. The advantage of taking the mini-pill is that by omitting the hormone oestrogen in the formulation, it avoids the rare but dangerous side effects of the regular pill. It is particularly recommended for women who are breastfeeding, diabetics, smokers and those over 35. While you may be scared off taking pills by aunties willing to exaggerate its disadvantages, it is important to know what its side effects are. Nausea, weight gain and mood changes are common and WebMD warns that more serious disadvantages which require immediate medical attention include stomach pain, chest pain, severe headaches, blurred vision and swelling or aching legs. You also need to be careful of pills containing drospirenone, a man-made version of the hormone progesterone, since they appear to increase the risk for blood clots. With Pakistani women, the main gripe with pills seems to be weight gain. Dr Pal thinks this has more to do with our post-shaadi dietary habits than with the pill. “A lot of women start binging on food right after their marriage because they assume that their mission has been accomplished and they don’t need to look good anymore. They then blame the weight gain on pills,” she says. The good news is that the pill comes with a host of advantages: it can make your cycle more regular and even solve your hair and skin problems. “Women who are on contraceptive pills have less risk of exposure to ovarian cancer and polycystic ovaries,” says Dr Ahsan. “However, the occurrence of breast cancer is high if you start taking the pill before your first baby.” Failure rate: The risk of pregnancy is 1-3% for both the pills even if the user takes them regularly and on time.
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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
6 myths
What you should know: Some drugs, including antibiotics, can reduce the effectiveness of birth control pills. Keep condoms (a pack of three costs less than Rs100) on hand in case you forget to take a pill. The severity of weight gain, nausea and vomiting varies and trying out different brands can ease symptoms. Condoms: Commonly made of latex or polyurethane, condoms are the most easily accessible and handy contraceptives. Not only do they prevent conception, they provide a host of other benefits, including protection from sexually transmitted diseases. They are the safest contraceptive since they provide a physical barrier and have no side effect. The main reason condoms fail — other than plain old male unwillingness to put them on in the first place — is that they may break or tear due to pressure during intercourse. Unfortunately, according to Dr. Ahsan, “People in Pakistan shy away from discussing this topic which is why more than half the couples don’t even know the correct method of using a condom.” According to Health.com, condoms are 98% effective if used correctly and only 83% effective if you don’t put them on correctly. Though female gynecologists often call couples for counseling, Dr Ahsan explains that mostly it is just the woman who shows up, while the guy remains oblivious. This helps explain why men prefer not to use condoms and are often irresponsible in wearing them. Dr Pal blames lack of education for this irresponsible behavior towards family planning. “To date, people in Pakistan consider sex education vulgar, which is why many couples who come in for counseling don’t even know the right way of procreating,” says Dr Pal, articulating a frustration many doctors feel. Failure rate: Dr Pal however believes that the failure rate of condoms could be as low as 4% and as high as 40%. What you should know: If the condom ruptures or slips off during intercourse, you should immediately take an Emergency Contraceptive Pill (available for as little as Rs 10) to avoid conception. Dr Ahsan says, “While using condoms, a couple should always have a stock of ECP at home. In case of an accident, the pill can be the back-up plan.” Intrauterine Devices: The IUD is a long-term contraceptive with a high success rate that can easily be reversed and removed whenever you wish. The modern intrauterine device (IUD) is a small T-shaped device, that is placed in the uterus to prevent pregnancy and has a string hanging down to check its position or to remove it. There are two types. The hormonal IUD prevents fertilisation by damaging sperm and thickening cervical mucus, so sperm can’t get to the uterus. It keeps the lining of the uterus from growing thick so that it’s harder for a fertilised egg to implant and grow. The copper IUD makes the uterus and Fallopian tubes produce fluid that kills sperm, since copper is toxic to sperm. IDr Pal considers IUDs “As good and effective as a permanent birth control method. It has the added benefit of being reversible.” The doctor recommends using this method before the age of 30. This is because she has seen women who have gotten the IUD removed after crossing 35 and have then faced trouble conceiving and ended up blaming the technology for hampering their fertility. “A woman’s biological clock slows down after the age of 30. Women should plan the insertion and removal of IUD properly to avoid disappointment,” says Dr. Pal. Failure rate: With a failure rate of only 0.001% , this is as good as 100% protection but according to Dr Pal, “We should still keep a small window of failure in mind.” What you should know: While IUDs are great if you’re looking for a method of birth control that requires little effort and is reversible, you should continue to see your doctor for periodical check ups. The copper IUD is approved for use for up to 10 years and hormonal IUD for up to 5 years. Insertion of an IUD can also lead to heavy periods and you should check the string of your IUD after every period. Rarely, the IUD can perforate the uterus during insertion. Also, there is the risk of hormonal IUDs causing ovarian cysts, which usually go away on their own. The Emergency Contraceptive Pill: The Emergency contraception pill (ECP) is usually taken after your normal birth control method fails or you’ve accidentally had unprotected sex. These tablets are most effective if you take them within 72-120 hours (3-5 days) of having unprotected sex but women are generally advised to take the pill immediately after sex, especially if they feel the chances of conceiving are high (such as during ovulation). There is a general misconception in Pakistan that these pills are not easily available. In fact ECPs are available at almost all medical stores, can be bought without a prescription, and are quite cheap. It is a good idea to have ECPs handy, in case your normal birth control method fails. “Unfortunately,” says Dr Pal, “a lot of couples even in the modern world don’t know about ECPs.” The doctor laments that the lack of sex education at the basic level and the indifference of the government has resulted in an utter lack of awareness about these crucial health issues. “There’s no need to shy away from these issues. If you can show sanitary napkin ads, then you can talk about this too,” says Dr Pal. The chances of pregnancy are higher because “A lot of people don’t even know what ECPs are, let alone knowing that they must have an ECP in case the condom fails to perform,” adds Dr Pal. Failure rate: Depends on the gap between the time of intercourse and the time of taking the pill but according to Dr Pal, “the failure rate of ECPs is somewhere around 000.1%.” What you need to know: While a very good back up, ECPs are not a substitute for regular birth control, and reliance on them will reduce efficacy and can result in pregnancy. This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Make sure you consult your doctor before deciding on the birth control method suitable for you.
about contraceptives 1. Breastfeeding prevents pregnancy Breastfeeding tends to postpone ovulation but that doesn’t mean it can be used as a contraceptive. You can actually get pregnant without ever getting a period while you’re breastfeeding so make sure you have your birth control plan in place. 2. Using contraceptives is equivalent to abortion Contraceptives stop the sperm from fertilising the egg. Abortion comes into question when the fertilised egg comes in the lining of a woman’s uterus. 3. Birth control pills are the most effective form of contraception Even though many doctors vouch for the effectiveness of ECP, combination pill and the mini pill, they still believe that all these pills have a 000.1%-3% failure rate. 4. Your body needs a break from birth control pills Progesterone Only Pill (POP or minipill) can be taken regularly without breaks. The pill also proves effective in solving acne, facial hair and menstrual problems and can be taken while breastfeeding.
5. IUDs make women sterile forever IUDs are said to be as effective as a permanent contraception but they can be reversed in case the user changes their mind about children. Dr Pal suggests it’s better if women get it reversed before they hit their 40s. 6. ECPs are a form of abortion Most ECPs start working before the pregnancy even begins. A woman can’t abort something that wasn’t even conceived in the first place.
How does pregnancy occur? In order to become pregnant, the female egg (released from the ovary during ovulation) must be fertilised. This phenomenon of fertilisation takes place when the sperm ejaculated during intercourse, travels up the cervix of the female and combines with the released egg to form a single cell. The fertilised egg then needs to attach to a woman’s uterus lining and grow, a process known as implantation. Once the implanted embryo starts releasing hormones that prevent menstruation, pregnancy is confirmed.
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Ms
en vogue
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
Tinted tresses
Dip your hair in deep chocolates, caramels and honey tones
Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Label: Kemon Hair and make-up: Sabs Photography: Shahbaz Shazi Models: Fouzia Aman, Saima Azhar & Amina Ilyas
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
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drama mama
Hiba Masood is a stay-at-home mother to fouryear-old Beta and one-yearold Beti. Writing about parenting affords her time away from actually doing it CONNECT WITH DRAMA MAMA ONLINE AT WWW. FACEBOOK.COM/ETDRAMAMAMA FOR MORE THOUGHTS ON THE CRAZY RIDE OF MOTHERHOOD
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
My children need me differently and I’m learning to listen to both Beti is talking — a lot. Unfortunately, we mostly don’t understand a word she’s saying. We pretty much tune out given how occupied we are in listening to Beta, who has also recently made great strides in the art of conversation. So, we’ll be driving along somewhere and a little four-year-old boy-voice will pipe up from the back seat, “The traffic light is red. We have to stop.” Now, I realise for most four-year-olds that’s a pretty run-of-the-mill statement but for us, since Beta has come late to the talking game, it’s a cause for celebration. With that one little sentence, delivered in his clear, high, dear little voice, Beta will reduce us to mush. “Why, yes, it IS red. We WILL have to stop!” I will exclaim joyfully. “He’s my boy genius!” Hums will declare proudly and we will laugh and revel in the moment, almost missing little Beti who is now singing, “Genius! Genius! Gee-NUSH! GEEensh! Gish!” At home, Beti will be in her highchair, flailing her arms and insisting, “Buh, buh, buh!” Only, I’ll be extremely busy doing Very Important Grown Up Work like, you know, working my way through someone’s Facebook pictures, not really listening, so I’ll just say it back to her like a chant — “Are you saying, buh, buh, buh?!” — until she eventually gets frustrated and yells, “BUH!” And then I will look over to see that she is trying to wrench something out from under her chair, “Oh! You want the ball!” It’s not out of any less love, certainly, and things will surely change as she grows, but that conversation right there defines our current relationship with Beti: she is gamely tagging along for the ride. When she was about to be born — and I suspect this phenomenon is common among about-to-be second-time parents — I watched Beta more closely, trying harder to remember every single detail about his three-year-old self and burn it into my brain. I was so sure that my poor boy would be neglected or ignored once a sibling arrived. And now? “What’s Beti upto?” some of my friends have asked and I find it funny, because there are insinuations of too much focus on my firstborn, the complete opposite of what I thought would happen. It’s true that I end up thinking more and subsequently writing more about Beta, and I think it’s because my relationship with him is so complex. Not crazily complex, but just a little complicated because of the normal challenges of his growing independence and the special challenges of his temperament and abilities. Which is, of course, the same way I’d describe Beti: she’s all for the growing independence and the temperament. Beti is prone to flinging herself flat on the ground in weeping agony if I suggest she not do something. But then Beta still does that, so maybe this propensity for tantrums is a genetic thing with my children. <Glance accusingly at the husband>. So,
by Hiba Masood
yes, I will pay her attention during a meltdown but the truth is, I don’t think about Beti all that much — and I mean that in the best possible way. Because, most of the time, she crawls everywhere on her happy baby knees. She laughs for no reason and makes funny faces. She plays tenderly with dolls and animals. She holds the marker in her fist and scribbles a complicated tangle on the whiteboard, reciting “H, I, J, K.” She follows her big Bhai Jan like a little puppy, watching eagerly to see what offering of grace he may casually throw her way. As soon as Hums holds her, she buries her face into that space of neck between his shoulder and ear and gives a little purr of satisfaction. When I think about the kids, I find that with Beta I analyse and agonise over this or that, but Beti? I just want to tell you about her crinkled nose. Of course, I don’t mean to say that there’s not plenty going on in her own life, but for now, she is, in a classic Urdu/English-ism, set. Her only struggle right now is being misunderstood. She is trying as hard as her 14-month-old brain and mouth will allow, to communicate exactly what she wants. And I feel for her, but I know that in some fundamental way, that her frustration’s okay. Sab set hai. But when I watch Beta struggling the same way sometimes, trying to say things that aren’t coming out right, and being unable to figure out how to fix them, I really feel for him. In any case, we can always count on the kids to invalidate any of our grand ideas. Even as I am vowing to listen more carefully to both the kids and be more helpful in their attempts to communicate, they, on the other hand, seem to be suffering from bouts of deafness. If Mickey Mouse is on or if the Play-Doh is out, I can call their names till I’m hoarse, to no avail. Or, at other times, I could tell Beta to drink his milk and he will say blankly, “What?” And I will say, “Drink your milk.” And he will say, “What, Mumma?” And I will say with gritted teeth, “Drink. Your. Milk.” There will be no end to this conversation that doesn’t involve me losing it. Naturally, just to keep me on my toes, the children’s selective deafness can often morph into astonishing bionic hearing. I can no longer hum anything, anywhere in the house. “Who’s doing the singing?” Beta will yell from the living room before bursting into a rendition of the national anthem. And, no matter how much I try, I can’t unwrap a KitKat surreptitiously. “What are you doing, Mumma? What sounds like that? Is that a chocolate?” Beta will call. “Cha, cha, cha, CHA!” Beti will chant. And they will both race towards me. They are so different, Beta and Beti. And yet the same. They’re my gee-nush bachchay and whenever they do start talking properly, I’ll be glad to listen.
domestic goddess 7 recipe
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
Banana-Walnut — Cinnamon Bread Madiha Hamid is a digital media professional. She runs a food blog for Pakistani and regional cuisines called cheflingtales.com. Follow her on Twitter @cheflingtales
Here is the classic Banana Bread recipe with an interesting twist. Loaded with walnuts and cinnamon, this bread turns out moist from the inside and intensely flavourful because of the combination of banana and cinnamon. Since I am not a fan of white flour, I mixed it with wheat flour for a healthier dessert
method • Preheat the oven at 170oC with both grills on. • In a bowl, mash the bananas with a fork. Pour in melted butter and mix. • Then add cinnamon, sugar, walnuts and vanilla essence. • Add flour and baking powder. • Pour the beaten egg and mix well with a wooden spatula until smooth. • If the mixture becomes so thick that you’re finding it difficult to mix the ingredients, add a tbsp of milk. • Grease the tin with butter and pour batter in it. • The batter will be too thick to flow, so pour it smoothly in the corners to ensure no air bubbles are formed. • Bake for 40-45 minutes at 170oC • Test if the bread is fully cooked by inserting a knife in the middle. If it comes out clean, your bread is ready. If not, bake for another 10 minutes. • Cool the bread tin for 5-10 minutes after taking it out from the oven. • Take the bread out of the tin and slice it with a sharp knife. • Serve warm with coffee. • If your banana bread seems a little soggy, slice it and leave it open for the moisture to escape. You can also store it in the fridge and re-heat it when serving. Preparation time: 15 minute(s) Cooking time: 45 minute(s) Number of servings (yield): 4
ingredients Bananas 2 ripe Flour 1.5 cups Cinnamon powder 1.5 tsp Butter (melted) 4 tbsp Egg (beaten) 1 Baking powder 1.5 tsp Brown sugar 1 cup Vanilla essence 1.5 tsp crushed walnuts 1/2 cup Bread-baking tin
hottie of the week 8
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, FEBRUARY 3, 2013
Tame the man
Match made in heaven
Aquarius man — Gemini woman
The passio passionate and flirty Gemini woman will forever intrigue an Aquarian man. This bold, adventurous woman will challenge the Aquarian’s ideas and wom always keep him guessing.
JJanuary 20 20 — February F b 18
In love with an Aquarian? Ms T. has the inside scoop on n wh what hat makes tthis his o driv ve h im away sign unique, how to make him yours and what not to do tto drive him
d a e h s ’ n a i r a u q A e h t e d i s In
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Celebrity Aquarians
These celebrities are proof that Aquarian men are some of the sexiest guys around.
DON’T even think about it Aquarius man — Aquarius woman When you put two independent thinkers together, you’d expect fireworks right? Wrong! In the case of these two, both will see too much of themselves in each other, constantly point out each other’s faults without realising that they are making the same mistakes themselves.
How to rope in an Aquarian? 1. Stay as elusive and mysterious as him. The moment he realises you are into him, his fascination and adoration will shift to the next woman. 2. Tickle his funny bone. There is nothing he likes more than a witty woman who can make him laugh.
C hristiano Ronaldo
What makes him vanish like air? 1. Dropping the “C” word on your first date. Commitment is to an Aquarian, what a dog is to a cat. It makes him run wildly in search for cover. 2. Making him feel used in any way. If you’re using an Aquarian for money, power or a good time, he has a great BS detector and will instantly call you on it.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Robbie Williams Wilmer Valderrama