The Express Tribune hi five - January 1

Ms DECEMBER 14, 2014

ISSUE NO. 130

Single but not searching

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Ace your base page How to pick the right foundation

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inside En vogue — Winter fantasies

Domestic goddess —

Chicken and spinach jumbo shells

Section In-Charge: Sarah Munir Sub-Editors: Amna Hashmi Nisma Chauhan Feedback: women@tribune.com.pk

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The vibrant Anoushey Ashraf

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The buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, DECEMBER 14, 2014

By Iram Moazzam Design by Aamir Khan

Words cannot describe the grief Samra Alvi* felt walking out of the hospital, after her husband’s death. Only 21 years old at the time, Samra realised that there was a long, lonely journey ahead for her and her five-month-old baby. “It is very hard for a single woman — especially a single mother — to survive in this society, you see” Samra says now, 34 years after the incident.

“Men tend to treat single women as if they are their private property.”

Fortunately, Samra wasn’t one to wallow in self pity. Keen to secure a safe future for her family, she enrolled in a matriculate programme, completed her intermediate studies and began working at a bank as a telephone operator. University, external training and a great deal of hard work followed, thanks to which Samra is now the vice president of a renowned private

bank in Pakistan. She is also a happy grandmother of three children and wouldn’t have life any other way. “I was lucky that my parents were still around when I lost my husband,” confesses Samra in retrospect.

Much like Samra, Lahore-based banker and mother of two Nadia Bashir also became a single mother at a young age after ending on an unpleasant marriage. And much like Samra, the thought of remarrying — or retreating from the harsh Pakistani society — never even occurred to Nadia.

“After I got divorced, I could literally feel the change in the attitude of men I interacted with,” Nadia shares the negative perceptions associated with a divorcee. “I had to put my foot down,” she says. “I had to show my male colleagues that being divorced doesn’t automatically put you back in the market again. With time, everyone realised I am a strong woman, focused on her kids only.”

Samra and Nadia are amongst the handful of women who beat the status quo of needing a male shadow to live a happy, complete life. Granted that marriage is the most sacred of social institutions that should not be disregarded, our society tends to overlook the fact that sometimes, things just do not work out. And when that happens, it is perfectly fine for woman to resume life on her own.

Unfortunately, in the subcontinent, the survival of a single woman of marriageable age is still quite challenging. This becomes even worse for women who have been formerly married as people want to know why she is single again and whether she is seeking new suitors yet or not. The prevailing notion is that a woman must have a man to lead her life. This desire to re-marry a previously married daughter can also be the taboo still associated with divorce. In a society where brides are often told that, ‘Ab is ghar se

YES?

tumhara janaza he nikalna chahiye (now you will leave this house only after you are dead)’, upon their rukhsati, it is hardly surprising that parents would rather their daughters drag out an unhappy marriage than seek a divorce.

“Divorce in particular is of prime interest to society,” explains 42-year-old professor Beena Rizvi* who proves being a single mother does not always end in loneliness. “I live independently and earn enough to support all my children. We are a happy family but no one will really believe that, would they?” Of course, a woman’s family plays a vital role in how her post-separation life pans out. If her parents are still alive, they will support her in whatever she wants to do. Nonetheless, most parents will want their daughters to settle down once again with someone new, even if the daughters aren’t too keen on it.

In the case of deceased spouses, however, there is much more at play than social stigmas. “The memories of my late husband have stayed with me all this time and I don’t intend on marrying again,” says Tehreem Butt* who lost her husband some time ago. “I have a loving family, caring friends, a child and a good job to keep me occupied. It has been tough, yes, but I am never lonely,” she adds. Forty five year old widow Sarwat Hakeem* agrees.

“The fact of the matter is that while it is always great to have a partner to share your life with, not having one doesn’t always imply you want one,” says Sarwat. “It has been over a decade since my husband passed away and much to the dismay of my mother and sisters, I haven’t remarried yet. In

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, DECEMBER 14, 2014

NO?

American author Mandy Hale has become known worldwide as ‘The Single Woman’ after publishing a women’s wellness guide entitled The Single Woman: Life, Love and a Dash of Sass in October 2010. In just over four years, Mandy has acquired a massive fan following of half a million people from across the globe and hopes to inspire single women to live their lives to the fullest and not regret the lack of a male partner. Mandy’s straight from the heart, witty and humorous takes on life and love is admirable. Here is someone who isn’t afraid of singlehood in a world which still asks “And why are you still single?”

Movies that empower single women fact, I simply don’t want to!”

Hearing of a single-parent remarrying also raises the concern of the new spouse and existing children will get along. The fear of living with step families actually discourages many divorced or widowed women from tying the knot once again. “It takes a very big and welcoming heart to accept someone else’s child as your own,” explains single-mother Maham Syed, who got divorced at the age of just 27. “Neither am I so selfish as to abandon my children, remarry and move on with my life nor can I expect a suitor to be a real father to my children. I know that is impossible.” Maham now lives independently with her children, determined to show the world that a woman can support herself and be content without a husband.

However, the experience of marriage, remarriage or single life is different for every individual. Nageena Pervaiz*, for example, shares her story saying that, “After my mother passed away, my father remarried a lady who I would call ‘bearable’ at best,” says Nageena. “But after my husband died, I remarried a father of four children all of whom love me to bits.”

There needs to be a change in attitudes toward single women, regardless of whether they are unmarried or have been married before. People must learn to see marriage as a choice, rather than an obligation. A woman’s decision to remain single or actively search for a partner is her prerogative; it’s personal and ought to be left in her hands only. After all, there are plenty of single women out there who are doing just fine. *Names have been changed to protect privacy

Society may believe women need men to validate their existence but from time to time, the media tries to eradicate this mindset and inspire single women to fight for themselves. Check out these popular, feel-good movies that celebrate womanhood and imply that not all of us need men to guide and protect us.

Erin Brockovich (2000): This Julia Roberts starrer narrates the story of an unemployed single mother who takes down one a California power company that has been accused of polluting her city’s water supply. Erin is fierce and won’t back down till she has taught her enemy the right lesson.

Legally Blonde (2001): After an unprecedented breakup with her boyfriend, resident fashionista Elle Woods musters up her strength and proves that a determined woman can achieve whatever she sets her eyes on. This delightfully humorous chick-flick depicts Elle’s journey to Harvard Law School and how she proves her mettle despite the obstacles that come in her way.

Queen (2014): This heartfelt, coming-of-age movie is the story of a simple Punjabi girl who is left at the altar by her fiancé. To avoid having to answer intrusive questions, Rani – who has never left her city without her parents – decides to embark on her honeymoon trip all alone. This journey of self-discovery heals Rani’s broken heart and she realises she would rather remain single than marry a man who didn’t respect her.

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En vogue

Origins latest collection combines bold colours and beautiful embroidery.

Coordination: Catalyst PR & Marketing Brand: Origins Model: Meera Ansari Photography: Muzi Sufi

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, DECEMBER 14, 2014

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, DECEMBER 14, 2014

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Lifestyle

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, DECEMBER 14, 2014

By Marvi Masud Design by Aamir Khan

Picking and using the right foundation is a Herculean task. Too little foundation can make you look like you just rolled out of bed. On the other hand, use too much of it and you’ll end up resembling a clown. But considering that foundation is quite literally the foundation of your makeup routine (all other products are applied on top of it), it is important to master the product for a naturally glowing skin. Unfortunately, the fact that foundation is now available in a variety of mediums (liquids, powders, mousse and creams) and shades (there is no such thing as a light or a dark foundation anymore) doesn’t make it finding the right product any easier. Next time you hit the drugstore to replenish your makeup supplies, follow these quick tips to make sure you get the right one.

Try before you buy To avoid ruining your appearance or causing skin irritation, it is best to test makeup out, no matter what type of product it may be. In the case of foundation, it is virtually impossible to judge the texture and colour in the package and there is nothing worse than coming home to find that the foundation you invested in is a shade off. To try before you buy, leave a bit of the foundation on a small patch of skin for a few hours or test it out on your wrist; either way will determine whether you should invest in the product or not. According to Saira Mahmood, a professional beautician who runs her own institute, “The best kind of foundation will completely absorb into your skin and disappear without becoming too prominent. It will add a smoothness to your skin that wasn’t there before.”

Under cover Knowing how much coverage you want is the next step to a perfect base.

One might choose lighter coverage in the summer and heavier options in the cold weather. If you have fairly clear skin and need foundation to cover a few, small problematic spots, you should consider light coverage like that of a tinted moisturiser. Medium or heavy coverage foundations, on the other hand, neutralise an uneven skin tone and conceal blemishes and dark spots.

50 shades of beige Remember that foundation is more than just a cover up for blemishes, wrinkles and scars — it is used for radiant, even-toned skin.

When testing out shades, it is adviseable that you approach the makeup counters with a fresh, clean face so you can gauge the results properly.

Once there, pick out three shades closest to your skin tone, apply a stroke of each on your cheek or jawline and check it out in natural light. If the retailer you are at doesn’t offer any testers, hold the bottles up to your neck and pick the one that matches best.

“One tone darker than your natural skin colour is the way to go,” says Saira. “This will help your skin appear more natural. Darker shades will make you look grey. Saira also advises against testing the foundation on your wrist or hands as this does not give an accurate representation of the effect of the product on the face.

The right formula, FYI When picking a foundation, it is best to know your skin type. Most good quality foundations are formulated to suit different types of skin, including oily, dry, sensitive, mature, normal and combination skin. According to Saira, “People with oily skin should steer clear of oil-based makeup as it causes greasy skin and acne. Aqua-based foundations are the best options in this case, especially when complimented by a good toner and regular exfoliation.”

Saira also prescribes powder-based foundations to keep excess oil at bay and advises against stick foundation as it is too thick and gives off an oily shine.

Another great way to conceal oily skin is to use a matte foundation which absorbs moisture and covers pores evenly. On the other hand, it is unsuitable for people with dry skin as it tends to accumulate over facial lines, making them more prominent. Women with dry skin should invest in water, cream or liquid-based foundations which hydrate the skin and give it a healthy glow.

If your skin comprises of a combination of types (for example, it may be oily in the T-zone but dry in the cheeks, nose and chin), mineralised foundations are your best bet. These are free from all oils and other detrimental chemicals and keep the skin hydrated throughout. If your mineralised foundation contains SPF, rest assured you have found the ideal product. Mineral-based items are beneficial for women with sensitive skin as well, thanks to them being chemical-free. Most cosmetic giants now offer non-comedogenic and hypoallergenic makeup for skin vulnerable to redness, rashes and flakiness.

One must bear in mind that our skin tends to change with the weather. You might suffer from dry skin during the winters while the summer heat might clog your pores up, leading to excess oil accumulation. Saira suggests oil-absorbent makeup for the summer and liquid-based products for winters.

“Overall, if you wish to have a product that will work through the year, go for a twoin-one foundation palette.” Whatever you do, make sure your foundation is blended well lest your makeup becomes too obvious.

What is a foundation primer and do you need it?

Over the past few years, makeup primers have become hugely popular and cosmetic giants are competing to offer their customers the cheapest and most effective priming products. Much like a normal moisturiser, primers ease the application of foundation and create a barrier between the foundation and skin which prevents the latter from absorbing harmful chemicals. Technically, one can do without adding primers to their daily makeup regime but many makeup experts claim that primers go a step further than regular moisturisers. They even out your skin tone and help your makeup last longer, especially in the hot summer months. Many primers also contain ingredients like rose, lavender, orange, aloe and grape, etc, keep the skin refreshed, even under heavy coverage.

SOURCE: BEAUTY.COM

Domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, DECEMBER 14, 2014

By Huba Akbar

Bring a taste of Italy home with this signature pasta dish!

Ingredients • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Jumbo macaroni shells 1 packet Boneless chicken 1 cup Spinach leaves 5 Onion (finely chopped) 1 Carrot (grated) 1 Green chillies 4 Capsicum (medium-sized) 2 Ginger and garlic paste 2 tbsp Tomato (blanched and pureed) 1 Chilli sauce 2 tbsp Soya sauce 1 tbsp Black pepper 1/2 tsp Red chilli flakes 1 tsp Turmeric powder 1 pinch Oil 1 tbsp Coriander leaves for garnishing Salt (to taste)

Method • Boil water in a large pot and add salt to it. Cook the macaroni in the boiling water as indicated on the packaging.

• In a separate pan, heat the oil. Once the oil is prepared, add chicken and spinach leaves and allow them to cook for about 10 minutes.

• Add onions and ginger garlic paste to the chicken and cook it for another five minutes.

• Pour in the tomato puree, chilli sauce and soya sauce and sprinkle the turmeric powder, red chilli flakes and salt on top. Mix the ingredients thoroughly.

• After about five minutes, add the vegetables to the mixture and fry until they are cooked through.

• Layer the chicken and vegetable mixture over the boiled jumbo macaroni. You can even stuff the mixture inside the jumbo shells or toss them together to make pasta salad.

• Garnish the dish with some finely chopped coriander leaves and serve warm.

Top 10 benefits of eating spinach leaves Leafy greens like spinach provide many more health benefits than other foods when compared calorie for calorie. Check out these interesting facts on why you should include spinach in your daily diet.

• Spinach is an extremely nutrient-dense food, low in calories yet rich in vitamins, minerals and other elements necessary for a healthy body. This green is a great source of vitamin K, vitamin A, magnesium, iron, calcium, potassium, protein and omega-3 fatty acids. Spinach also contains vitamin E, vitamin C and vitamin B2 in considerable amounts.

• One of the greatest plus-points of spinach is that it is readily available. Also, the versatile food can be eaten raw in a salad or cooked, eaten as a main course or soup. You can also indulge in a spinach smoothie if you wish to drink the goodness it has to offer.

• Loaded with flavanoids, spinach acts as an antioxidant and protects the body from free radicals and illnesses, including cancer-causing elements. In addition to this, the antioxidants found in spinach leaves work to keep cholesterol at bay whereas folate and magnesium lower blood pressure and strengthen the cardiovascular system.

• Spinach contains anti-inflammatory properties which can improve arthritis, osteoporosis, migraines and asthma.

• Lutein, a substance found in spinach, protects against eye diseases like cataracts and macular degeneration.

• The mineral iron is extremely beneficial for women during menstruation and childbirth as iron is a component of haemoglobin which carries oxygen through the body. Growing children and adolescents should also increase their spinach intake for energy and faster growth.

How long does pasta last?

The shelf-life of pasta (or any other food item) depends on a variety of factors, such as its expiration date, how it is prepared and where it is stored. The chart below can help you determine how long your pasta will last.

Type of Pasta

Pantry (Past Expiration Date)

Refridgerator (Past Expiration Date)

Freezer (Past Expiration Date)

Dry pasta lasts for:

About 1 to 2 years

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Dry noodles last for:

About 1 to 2 years

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Fresh pasta lasts for:

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About 4 to 5 days

About 6 to 8 months

Fresh noodles last for:

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About 4 to 5 days

About 6 to 8 months

Cooked pasta lasts for:

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About 7 days

About 6 to 8 months

Cooked noodles last for:

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About 7 days

About 6 to 8 months SOURCE: EATBYDATE.COME

Woman of the week 8

With my pet dog.

With my sisters.

VJ and Host

With mom and dad.

The public opinion in India was divided TV star Gauhar Khan was attacked on live television last month. Her offender, 24-year-old Akil Malik, a member of the audience took it upon himself to punish Khan for wearing a revealing outfit.

According to reports, the model and actor of reality TV fame was presenting at the finale of the singing competition Raw Star when Malik began catcalling and teasing her from the audience. When Khan protested, Malik stood up on his seat, approached the stage and slapped Khan in front of everyone. He was also quoted as saying that, “Being a Muslim, she should not have worn such a short dress.”

Even though Malik was arrested soon after and Khan has issued a statement on the incident, the motivation behind the attack has got everyone debating the problem of moral policing and who has the right to admonish others for their behaviour. The attack may have taken place in India but things are not much different across the border as many Pakistanis seem to feel it is their duty to advise others on how they should lead their lives.

And more often than not, this moral policing is directed solely at women.

A prime example of this is the blackening or disfiguring of billboards featuring pictures of women that most of us have witnessed in Pakistan time and again.

But whether or not we have the right to judge and reprimand others is just one aspect of moral policing; a far more serious problem is the fear it generates amongst women and the infringement at their rights and freedom. Ogling, eve-teasing and ‘accidental’ contact in public discourage women, lest they be attacked. After all, if a TV star like Khan can be victimised on live television, who can blame the average woman for being fearful of the same treatment?

Gauhar Khan

It depends on the person and whether what they are wearing is right. At the end of the day, we live in a Muslim country and must keep a lot of things in mind when we go out. For me, morals come first. If you are wearing sheer clothes or a plunging neckline in public, you are inviting people to bother you. One can’t wear the same things to say, a bazaar and a party. What matters is wearing the right clothes for the right place.

Designer Nomi Ansari

When I was younger, I wanted to fight this but now, I feel moral policing is unavoidable in Pakistan. I would definitely never dress up in a certain way in certain parts of the country.

It may not be fair but it is for one’s own benefit as the local male population doesn’t just criticise — it also thinks and reaches out in dangerous ways.

People are chauvinistic and men look at women without shame in their eyes so it is better to be safe than sorry.

Model Vaneeza Ahmad Ali