Ms JULY 14, 2013
ISSUE NO. 55
In Stitches
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Embroidered fabric takes centre stage
From Gode Bharais to Baby Showers
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inside unwind—
Take out some ‘me’ time
domestic goddess —
Cool down with this dairy delight
8 Section In-Charge: Batool Zehra Send your feedback to women@tribune.com.pk
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The dream weaver
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Ms
the buzz
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
From Gode Bharai to Baby Sho by Amna Hashmi
From the traditional subcontinental ceremony to today’s elaborate baby showers, Ms. T explores the evolution of how we have come to commemorate the impending birth of a child Do you recall the movies of yesteryear which showed those classic gode bharai celebrations? The expectant mom, fully pregnant, decked up like a bride, while the other women crowded around her singing and celebrating her milestone, placing gifts of gold and fruit under her ghoonghat and into her henna-laden hands? If you are old enough to remember this brand of cinema, you might even have attended — or been the recipient of — such a ceremony yourself. But you would also understand that this traditional way of honouring a mother-to-be is gradually becoming a thing of the past, replaced by the more western version, the baby shower. Once the preserve of housewives in the US, the baby shower has become an important feature in the social lives of urban women in the upper-middle income bracket in Pakistan. Five years ago, few people knew what a baby shower was; now expectant moms are routinely asked if their friends will throw them one. It has become a veritable status symbol with women often competing to throw the best baby shower amongst their family and friends. Various cultures have found different ways to commemorate the impending birth of a child and honouring the mother-to-be, but the baby shower as we know it today came about in the baby-boom era and evolved with the consumer ideology of the 1950s and 1960s. Its main purpose was to ‘shower’ the mother-to-be with gifts and lessen the financial burdens of infant care. Today, however, the ceremony entails an entirely new level of expenditure with an assortment of themes, decorations, foods and entertainment options. “I have seen everything from superhero drinks to diaper-plates and DIY candy stations,” says
Areeba Kamal who has been frequenting her friends’ baby showers lately. “Once, there was even a cake shaped like a pregnant belly which honestly looked more terrifying than appetising!” she adds, laughing. Rituals common to the modern baby shower ceremony include shopping trips centred around the baby, asking the mother-to-be to unwrap her gifts and establishing a playful and homely environment for the party games. A favourite feature is the ‘diaper cake’ which looks like an edible cake from afar but is actually an arrangement of diapers for the new mom. Guessing how many diapers are in the ‘cake’ is a common game at baby showers. “Some popular games include Guess the Gender, the Mommy-Daddy Word Jumble and my personal favourite, Measure the Mommy!” says Ayeza Mariam Mir of Dudes’n’Babes, an event management business specialising in birthdays and baby showers. “It is always hilarious when the mommy-to-be gets embarrassed over her belly.” The light amusements of the modern baby shower are in stark contrast to the sacred mood of the gode bharai. While both events are held to mark a woman’s transition into motherhood, the gode bharai is imbued with spiritual significance. It is also a more personal and less lavish matriarchal affair, restricted to women in the family. “The idea was that during the 7th month of pregnancy, a girl’s maikah — traditionally just the married women — would visit her susraal bearing gifts. They would then take their daughter home until her ‘sawa maheena’ (40-day post delivery),” says Samina Ummat Sufi, recounting her own experiences. “I remember feeling quite emotional at my own gode bharai. It was just a very momentous occasion in our lives.” Unlike in the baby shower, the focus of the gode bharai was solely the mother-to-be, who would sit down with the daaman of her dress spread
I remember feeling quite emotional at my own gode bharai. It was just a very momentous occasion in our lives
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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
is wers Hanging pacifiers for decoration
out before her. Her kinswomen would then place gifts of gold, fruits, money — anything that was considered beneficial for her — on her daaman, along with many prayers. Hence the name ‘gode bharai.’ “It was sort of like the modern day dholki, just with added significance,” explains Aisha Javed, a mother of three who has attended both the traditional ritual and the modern event. “While the expectant mother was given gifts, the other women would sit with the dholak and sing traditional songs. Some would even dance.” While the gode bharai was organised primarily by one’s in-laws for her maikah as a welcome and expression of gratitude for the coming baby, the baby shower is generally thrown by young women for their close friends as a token of love and celebration. The planning process is often as enjoyable as the actual event and one might even enlist professional help. Once the themes are selected, the sky is the limit for the decorations and menu. “Some customers go crazy with the details,” says Lahore-based caterer Muneeze Khalid. “Nobody asks for the just the quintessential blue or pink balloons and streamers anymore. Most of our clientele are young girls who want it to be the absolute best, no matter what the price.” The replacement of the gode bharai with the chic hues and sleek look of the contemporary baby shower is an indication of increasing globali-
sation and a cosmopolitan mindset. “When young people go abroad to study, they interact with people from different countries and cultures and inevitably pick things from them,” suggests Abeer Omar, a stay-at-home mother of one, who had both a baby shower and gode bharai. “With television and the internet, the world is becoming increasingly small, so of course we are bound to imbibe cultures! I received dry fruits and coconuts on my gode bharai. In baby showers, people gift designer babyclothes.” As the gode bharai pre-dates Partition, some women and families have abandoned the ceremony, rendering it un-Islamic. While it may have been acceptable to women of both faiths before, some people want to reject this part of our culture. However, this does not stop them from holding mehndis though which are also a very much prePartition phenomenon. It is ironic that while we accept globalisation and the amalgamation of eastern and western cultures as all but inevitable given the times we live in, we distance ourselves from the indigenous practices of our own land. The way a culture or generation chooses to commemorate pregnancy and welcome a newborn child reveals its values and expectations. And the popularity of baby showers is an indication of the whole-heartedness with which affluent Pakistan has embraced consumer culture.
Rituals common to the modern baby shower ceremony include shopping trips centred around the baby, asking the mother-to-be to unwrap her gifts
‘Finish the Baby Rhyme’ party game
The popular ‘diaper cake’
Bunny-themed cookies
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Ms
en vogue
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
Motifz showcases its latest Swiss lawn collection, with intricate embellishments and festive colours, ideal for the summer Eid Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Styling: Atifa Siddique Hair & Makeup: Sab’s Salon Lahore Label: Motifz. Photography: Hassan Gardezi Model: Amna Babar
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unwind
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
Take out a few minutes exclusively for yourself and break up your boring routine with these choice recommendations from Ms. T
Love in a Headscarf by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed
READ
Who knew that arranged marriages would become such a hot topic in chick lit? Shelina Janmohamed’s biography is all about her search for Mr. Right, and her determination to find love in an arranged marriage. With the very first chapter titled “Good Scarf Day”, the irreverent style and spot on humour promise to provide hours of light and girly entertainment to chick lit lovers, whether they identify with Shelina’s cultural background or not.
Rethink your nighttime beauty routine
DO
We all make an effort to look great in the morning but what you’ve done the night before makes a crucial difference. If you just plop into bed with all your make up still on, you’re hardly getting the most out of your beauty sleep. Breakouts and dull skin are sure to follow. An evening beauty regimen will take about 5 minutes but have huge payoffs. A few simple steps is all it takes. Take off all traces of make up using a cleanser, then lightly spritz an alcohol-free toner. Follow up with a night-time moisturiser that addresses your skin concerns (lines or acne) and eye cream. Slick on lip balm to hydrate lips. A few nights each week, slather your feet with lotion to soften your heels or put on some heavy duty hand cream and once a week, treat yourself to a face mask. Wake up looking gorgeous!
Apartment Therapy (apartmenttherapy.com)
BROWSE
Apartment Therapy is the perfect website to indulge the voyeur in you. From coastal style bedrooms to country style kitchens, and sleek Scandinavian architecture, it offers a plethora of breathtaking designs and inspirational ideas. Take tours of houses and apartments, draw inspiration for your next renovation project, make small and significant changes around the house or simply sigh over the pretty nooks and corners, vistas and views, in other people’s homes. Whether you’re a homemaker or design enthusiast, Apartment Therapy is sure to have you hooked for hours.
domestic goddess 7
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
Recipe Not only is lauki a highly refreshing vegetable to beat the heat with, it is also a great remedy for stomach problems. Indulge in this delicious raita, perfect with spicy pulaos... addiction guaranteed!
Lauki Raita
Method • Take off the outer layer of the lauki and shred it into thin slices.
Madiha Hamid is a digital media professional. She runs a food blog for Pakistani and regional cuisines called cheflingtales.com. Follow her on Twitter @cheflingtales
• Place the lauki in a pan and add enough water to cover the vegetable completely. • Boil the lauki until it is thoroughly cooked and drain any extra water that may remain. • Let the lauki cool down. • In another bowl, beat the yogurt thoroughly. Add some milk to ensure that the consistency of the yogurt isn’t too thick. • Mix the lauki with the yogurt.
Ingredients:
• Add salt and pepper as desired. • Add the cumin seeds and the mint and coriander leaves if desired. • Rub some cumin seeds between the palms of your hands and sprinkle on top of the raita to add a pleasant aroma.
Medium-sized lauki (bottle gourd) 1
Yogurt 2 cups
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
Mint leaves and Coriander leaves (optional)
White cumin seeds (zeera) ½ tsp
hottie of the week 8
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 14, 2013
Status Born
Married to Fatima Zaman Lahore, Pakistan
Birthday
11th September, 1984
Face
95%
Who is he?
Waleed Zaman
This angel-faced young man is barely a newcomer to the world of glitz and glamour! As the son of Hamid Zaman, founder of the retail brand Bareeze and Creative Director of Kayseria, Waleed is a regular at every major fashion event and is well on his way to conquering the world of Pakistani prêt wear. With an immaculate sense of fashion and a uniquely refined and intellectual persona, Waleed reminds us of a Disney prince and we can’t help but want to be whisked off into ‘happily ever after’ by him. But unfortunately, Waleed is happily married to his college sweetheart Fatima and a doting father to a baby son but hey... a girl can dream, right?
Body
85%
Talent
90%
Why we love him Coming from a family of artists (his mother is a trained classical vocalist!) with a double degree in Traditional Architecture and Manuscript Illumination from London, Waleed has the blood of an artisan with a deep love and understanding of aesthetics and beauty. But mind you, his expertises are not restricted to just fashion though; he is equally as knowledgeable when it comes to politics, history, Islam and pretty much any other topic. His well-read and cultured upbringing is evident in the eloquent manner in which he speaks. Add that to his boyish charm and you have the ideal chocolate boy! What is outstanding about Waleed is that despite all the success he has achieved, he remains humble to the core. Spiritual and thirsty for knowledge, Waleed likes to study religion and culture and draws inspiration from both. But there is a fun side to him as well: Waleed is passionate about motorbikes and hopes to ride a bike all the way up to the gorgeous northern areas, particularly Skardu, someday.
What you didn’t know about him Waleed is extremely indecisive when it comes to making small decisions in daily life, such as what to eat for breakfast. Waleed is an idealist and feels that the human race could change the universe if all the hate could be removed from the world. Can’t say we don’t agree. Ever the family-man, Waleed says his favourite place to hangout is his home! Also, he likes to bite his son — out of affection, of course! So ladies... Is your heart melting yet? Ours is!
Total Package
90%