The Express Tribune hi five - March 10

Ms MARCH 10, 2013 ISSUE NO. 38

Gender Agenda

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Luxe Lace

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inside What do women want ?

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Cheesy eggplant

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Section In-Charge: Batool Zehra Send your feedback to women@tribune.com.pk

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s roz’ h e Sh olaty c cho rm cha

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the buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

Gender Equality:

levelling the playing field

J

ust last year, Pakistan was ranked the third worst country in this world to be a woman in by the Central European Journal of International and Security Studies. Yet many Pakistani women continue to make inroads

in male-dominated fields and craft powerful careers despite the prejudicial thinking of those around them. On the occasion of the 36th International Women’s Day, we ask a few of these women what ‘gender equality’ means to them. How can women best equip themselves to fight against gender stereotyping and be seen and heard in the public and professional spheres?

How can gender equality become a reality in a country torn between patriarchy and illiteracy? Let’s read what they have to say below.

JEHAN ARA A powerful motivator and the President of the Pakistan Software Houses Association for IT and ITES, Jehan Ara, for over 29 years now, has proved her capabilities as a strong leader and an innovative marketer across Asia, including Hong Kong, UAE and Pakistan.

“The fact that my parents brought me up to believe in myself helped me overcome gender discrimination and have confidence that there was nothing I could not do if I put in the hard work. Even when I felt a little nervous about challenges that I faced, and when I was surrounded mostly by men, I knew what I was capable of.”

“There were times in my career — especially during the early years — when the people I worked with could have underestimated me and exploited me, but you have to command respect and you can only do that if you are dedicated, diligent, result-oriented and passionate in the work that you do.”

“My vision for Pakistan is to see young, confident women eager to do whatever drives them with no one telling them they can’t. I want to see women respected and recognised for their contribution to the country, to the home and to the community. This patriarchal society has to change so that the birth of a female child is welcomed with as much glee as the birth of a male child and she is made to feel as special and as valuable an addition to the family and to society. I grew up in a family where my siblings and I were treated equally. That is why all of us grew up to be confident human beings who respected each other and gave each other the space that was needed.

That is what I want for each person in Pakistan — male or female.”

“Gender Equality means that the same opportunities should be available to girls & women that are available to boys & men. Everything should be based on merit. Gender should not be the decisive factor.”

“Sometimes women hold themselves back. Often it is the lack of finance, the lack of infrastructure or lack of security that keeps them from venturing far from home. Women are still seen in many circles as being the weaker sex. Sometimes, in addition to men, it is other women who perpetrate this kind of attitude. Gender equality has a long way to go in Pakistan but a lot of people are putting in the effort to ensure that it happens so I have a lot of hope.”

RAHAT KUNAIN Rahat Kunain has served at SECP as the Executive Director, and is now working as the Chairperson for the Competition Commission of Pakistan. She is also a busy mom of four children.

“I guess the one trait that has helped me overcome any discrimination throughout my career is ‘professionalism’. In my view, professionalism is gender blind; it means that you deal with things on merit with competence,

hard work and conduct yourself without any pretence in your behaviour.

However, it is important to acknowledge that this approach is an outcome of the values inculcated by my parents and the support that I have had from my spouse.

“I don’t believe in women’s empowerment based on gender only but I do believe in the empowerment of women based on merit and through providing an enabling environment. My parents raised their seven daughters with the belief that women who are viewed and raised as an ‘asset’ are likely to become an asset for their family and those who raise them as a ‘liability’ often make them one! I think it is best to have a gender blind vision. I wish that neither women should be allowed to use the gender card to their advantage nor men be permitted to use it as a disadvantage against them. It is a meritbased environment that we need to build and pursue. We need to recognise that true empowerment comes only through education.”

SABA GUL Saba Gul has worked as an engineer at the famous Silicon Valley, is an alumna of MIT and also the CEO and founder of BLISS, a company that sells sociallyconscious bags created by underprivileged girls while providing them quality education. She is a passionate social activist who devotes her time to the development and empowerment of young women.

“To me, gender rights are human rights and gender equality is the equality of all humans. It’s not having barriers to your growth as a human or your progress as a professional based solely on your gender. It’s knowing that the opportunities at your disposal are not limited by whether you are a man or a woman.

It’s knowing that people will not treat you or talk to you or view you as a lesser mortal based on gender. It’s knowing that your merit as a professional, your value as a human, your intelligence and capability are not viewed through the lens of your gender.”

“The qualities that have driven my success are my faith in my potential as a human, and persistence and perseverance in breaking down the barriers that threaten to limit it. I think ultimately the belief that you deserve and can have everything that a male counterpart can have goes a very long way. You push back and speak up against the injustices, you challenge the status quo and start eroding the barriers, you keep chugging along, and don’t get disheartened easily.”

“Gender equality is one of my biggest dreams for Pakistan. I dream of a Pakistan where girls and women are offered the same opportunities as their male counterparts. Whether it is being allowed to go to school as a girl-child, or being able to pick your own life partner, whether it is being able to walk on the street and ride on public transport and be seen in public spaces without being stared down because you’re a woman, or being offered the same professional opportunities to grow, I dream of a Pakistan that doesn’t limit the potential of its citizens on the basis of their gender. I also dream of a Pakistan where not only women, but men are also participating in the quest to create an equitable world for their daughters, wives and sisters.”

by Nida Ameen

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Clearly these women are an inspiration for all those who aim to break the barriers of distorted conventional thoughts and contribute towards the development of our nation. This Women’s Day, let’s all remain optimistic on greater participation of women in all walks of life and reassert that talent, creativity and perseverance have no gender.

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

What does gender equality meant to you?

Sex 60%

40%

Male

Age 3% -18

41% 18-25

Do you feel the issue of gender equality has gained momentum in Pakistan?

Female

42% 14% 25-35

35+

56% 8%

Is gender equality a desirable goal or not?

er d y en alit ult G u es eq ll r ore n a wi n m th i rm d o ha go

oms t s u c r e of ou ich have v i t c e p Irres s, wh n o i t due i r d i a e r t h t d n an ome w n ve on e o v i m g t o t o n need ere is no e w , s statu hat th ld not t e s i l a and re omen shou y in w it reason ual opportun e have eq sphere of lif every

The Express Tribune conducted an online poll on gender equality.

Here is what you had to say in response to our questions:

36% No

Do you think gender equality will be achievable in Pakistan in your lifetime?

Yes

We are all hum a and should be tr n eated equally; any kin d of discriminatio n is morally untenab le

Not sure

Yes

21%

Not sure

22%

56% No

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

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what she said

by Hiba Masood

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

What Do Women Want?

T

hrow up a status on Facebook asking educated Pakistani women, your contemporaries, what issues are important to them, what are the things we should be talking about, and the response will leave you breathless and heavy-hearted.

When you see woman after woman respond “Can we be honest with each other?”, “I am tired of feeling judged by other women”, “How can we become allies instead of competitors?”, you begin to understand a difficult truth: Men are cruel and unfair to women.

But women are also cruel and unfair to other women. Underneath the common perception off women being naturally nurturing and good at relationships lies the historical reality of internalised lised patriarchy that blocks our ability to support, protect otect and fight for each other. And today’s Pakistani woman is sick of it.

I come to see that I am not the only one to have been ve b e n made ee to feel that my concerns are somehow less legitimate, because t mate, be ti b cause I’ve made choices contrary to what other women en considered cconside dered ‘right’. de I am married to a cousin, through an arranged marriage. d marr rriage. I have covered my head since I was seventeen. I am a stay-at-home mother. other y-at-hom me mo oth t er. Many oth her modern women would find my life choices abhorrent. orrent.

An undercurrent of resentment subtly pervasive often felt ive in our cculture ulturee right now is o f en fel ft eltt el by women who live lives similar to mine. At the very outset, difficult t,, otherr women find itt difficu ult to believe that any of these choices (arranged marriage, hijab hijab, ab, no ccareer) ab areer) are, in ffact, act, myy choices and not forced upon me by anyone. Further, seems disturbing general ther, there see ems tto o be a disturbin i g yet gene neral ne idea that ‘conservative’ women believe, by virtue choices (or, tritely, attire), e of their choic ices (o or, more tritely y, theirr at attire) ), they’re more virtuous than other women, feel they special perpetually hey deserve sp pecial treatment, aree perp petual a lyy al needy for their husbands’ approval, and too distant off ‘modern’ wo women ta ant from the lives o omen to to have a legitimate point of view.

The idea that conservative women really should up uld just eitherr shut u p and put up p or embrace ‘freedom’ in the exact way prescribed by otherr wom women, o en, ccomes om omes through h loud and clear every time someone condemns a real or imagin imaginary Durr-e-Shahwar orr Khir Khirad nary Du urr-e-Shahwar o irad (heroines of television fame). This premise is disconcerting because sconcer ert er rti ti and ting nd offensive bec cause itt perpetuates that I, or these women, are the sum of theirr ch no less.

That choices,, n o more and no le ess. Th hat if I have embraced the values of sacrifice, tolerance and compromise in some aspects of my life, I am somehow less evolved, less valuable, less intelligent, less of a modern woman. The possibility that I may actually consider these values noble and venerable and worthy goals to pursue in themselves is rarely considered.

In the same vein, when women speak out about their choices, their values or even their personal experiences, they are viewed critically. As someone who writes about motherhood and marriage, my written musings are frequently dismissed by other women as the scribblings of a ignorant housewife, ‘complaining’, ‘whining’ or ‘ungrateful’. However, when educated, modern men write or speak about other educated, modern men — and isn’t that what most political commentary is? — they are never

said to be ‘whining’ or to be limited by the narrowness of their gender, choice and experience.

I use myself as only one example, because, women who have made life choices polar opposites to mine — far too many and too varied to mention here — also feel scrutinised and criticised which speaks volumes about the pervasiveness of our internalised misogyny.

In an effort to break free, the Pakistani woman embraced ‘modernity’ vis-à-vis cultural tu u and financial liberation. The idea was that if women became more like men or beat them at their own game (by pursuing higher education, eestablishing careers, conquering the public sphere), they would become visible, successful sphere sp and respectable. While I am all for a woman making a nd resp these the ese cchoices hoic for her personal satisfaction, it troubles when women think that only matching men, those me w hen n wom standard so called d sta andar bearers of independence and modernity, achievement achievement, is the true measure of successful achievemen ac ent en n for fo o ach womanhood.

Our misguided wo omanhood. O ur m isguid pursuit of membership to the good old and bo boys oys club is a losss tto o ssociety ociety an n ourselves. If women don’t start recognising our this, we’ll spend all ou ur time me fighting g eeach a other instead of fighting what we should women b fighting for — wh be what at wom omen want.. om what women want recognition Because, w hatt wome en w ant is a reco cogn co nit itio that most of us perpetually live in a don’t” “damned d iff yyou ou u do, d damned if you d do on’tt” state of limbo. What women want is an environencourage women to choose a career, or a family life, ment that will support, enco our ura agee an aand nd allow w both, public sphere women or bo both t , and a safe fe p ublililic ub i sp phe herre where w ome can move freely to exercise that choice. om want morality, philosophy, nation-building, post-retirement What Wh a women wan at a t is to an to talk about m orality, p or children, nihari recipes, the latest HumTV drama, the best futures, fashion, annoying child ldre ld ren,, n re ihari re ih cut, without being place to get a hair cu cut t, w wit itt out b itho eing llaughed ei augh at, condescended to, or second-guessing themselves. women want themsel lves. What at w wom omen wan om ant is tthe an he right to be wrong, to make choices without fear human luxury of judgment; to be allowed d tthe he h uman lux xu of faltering without being crucified, of redemonised.

What women want is for other women to remember covering without being d emon nised. Wh hat w o being woman this country so let’s not make it any harder on each that it’s really not easy be ein ing a w oman in n thi is co other than it already is.

Or perhaps the question of what women want is itself problematic, because it furthers the misguided belief that women function as a collective, a homogenous whole. It insinuates that no matter how we might choose to identify ourselves — teacher, adventurer, scientist, mother, writer, doctor, athlete, artist, nature-lover — we are essentially just female. Lumping us together as a monolith only has the effect of marginalising us. It erases the reality that we are half the population within which resides a rich and varied range of opinions, desires, preferences and lifestyles.

And what we want, what we really, really want is what everyone should want: Kindness.

Truthfulness. Respect. And through that, as Adrienne Rich said, “the creation of a society without domination.”

Last week we asked you if lawn promotes social divides and here is what you had to say Do you think designer lawn is overrated?

63% Yes

32% 5% Somewhat

Do you think marketing techniques used by lawn-makers accentuate social divides?

78%

No Yes

9% Not sure

13% No

domestic goddess 7 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

recipe

Shafia Agha works as a PR consultant and runs a food blog: gobblemywords.wordpress.com.

She loves trying out new recipes.

Follow her on facebook.com/ GobbleMyWords and @shafiaagha

Eggplant and parmesan cheese Eggplant and parmesan cheese is a classic combination. This delicious cheesy recipe is totally worth slaving in the kitchen.

ingredients method • Scoop out the roasted eggplant and whiz the insides in the blender for 2 minutes.

• Transfer it in a bowl and add all the remaining ingredients.

• Thoroughly mix all the ingredients together and adjust the seasoning according to taste.

• Shape the mixture into round patties.

• Shallow fry the patties until golden brown on both sides.

• Serve with char grilled green chilies.

Preparation time: 45 minute(s) Cooking time: 10 minute(s) Serves 6 to 8 people

Round Eggplants (roasted on open fire and skinned) 3 Chopped Onion 1 Crushed Garlic 1 tsp Beaten Egg 1 Flour ½ cup Salt to taste Crushed Red Chili 1 tsp Bread crumbs 1 cup Grated Parmesan Cheese 1 cup Chopped Coriander 1 tbsp Chopped Green Chilies 2 Cooking Oil for shallow frying

hottie of the week 8

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, MARCH 10, 2013

Status Born

Married to Syra Yusuf Karachi, Pakistan

Birthday

25th August, 1987

Face

82%

Who is he?

Shehroz Sabzwari

Pakistan television industry’s very own chocolate boy and the son of the versatile TV actor, Behroze Sabzwari, Shehroz is the kind of guy everyone wants to bring home to Mommy dearest! Admit it, girls — we all fancy those dimples on Pepsi’s poster boy and we all died a million deaths when Shehroz tied the knot with Syra. His effortless acting, chiseled features and boy-next-door persona has got our hearts racing!

Body

70%

Talent

89%

Why we’re crushing on him You think he is just eye-candy who got his way around because he belongs to a family of legends? Think again! Shehroz is a graduate of the London Film Academy with a major in Acting and a minor in Film-making — pretty impressive, we’d say! Passionately in love with the idea of being an actor since his childhood, he has blown us away with his acting in Badtameez and Tanhaiyan — Naye Silsilay.

A “ferocious reader” as he calls himself, Shehroz loves reading up on Sufism and is a die-hard fan of Rumi. Guess who inspires this enigmatic actor? Shehroz follows the footsteps of Shams of Tabrez and Rumi! Bonus points to him for his spirituality. His take on love: “Love should be unconditional otherwise it’s just infatuation!” Awww…. it’s like he just walked out of Eric Segal’s epic Love Story!

His Ideal Woman Shehroz is not shy about showing off his love for his gorgeous wife Syra who seems to have fulfilled his criteria for the ideal woman — “true at heart and innocent as a child”. Shehroz does not go for glamorous looks because according to him, “You can find beauty in anyone, but it is the soul that should reflect the real beauty in a woman.” This love-struck boy-next-door has melted our hearts into a gooey chocolate disaster.

Total Package

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