The Express Tribune hi five - November 29

Ms NOVEMBER 29, 2015

ISSUE NO. 180

The mother of misery A severe case of baby blues— postpartum depression

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Let’s talk about child molestation

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inside En vogue —

Pepe jeans winter collection

Domestic goddess —

Pumpkin cookies

Section In-Charge: Dilaira Dubash Sub-Editors: Amna Hashmi Nisma Chauhan Designer: Umar Waqas Feedback: women@tribune.com.pk

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The melodious Alycia Dias

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The buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, NOVEMBER 29, 2015

By Dilaira Dubash During your pregnancy, everyone will assure you that everything you are feeling will get better after the first three months. The nausea will subside, as will the fear of miscarrying. When you enter your sixth month, they will tell you to ‘just be happy and eat’ without worrying about the weight gain as it will disappear after the delivery. When the last trimester comes, you will repeatedly be reminded how very close to the finish line you are and the only obstacle left in your way is labour.

People always claim that giving birth is one of the most fulfilling things a woman can do and so you should prepare to brave the final storm before basking in new-mommy bliss. You convince yourself that once your little bundle of joy is in your arms, you will whisper in his/her ear that it was all worthwhile. But when the time arrives, you might be shocked to know that the warm, fuzzy feeling is often quite short-lived.

No matter how much you have looked forward to this moment, chances are the emotions you experience after childbirth are ones you will never want to recall again. You are physically and emotionally exhausted, your baby needs to be nursed every two hours and breastfeeding can be agonising. Your husband is introducing the baby to everyone as ‘ours’ when he was never on the receiving end of kicks during pregnancy, nor did he experience even an ounce of pain before becoming a father. And, to make it worse, that bump you have been sporting for the past nine months hasn’t entirely disappeared yet.

Such thoughts occur to the best of in the days following delivery. This period of emotional turmoil is termed ‘baby blues’ and — contrary to what society might propogate — completely normal.

Be it your first child or your fifth, one can never get used to the tumultuous baby blues. The mood swings, litany of complaints, frequent teariness, feelings of dependence and stress can be extremely taxing. What is important is to remember that you are not alone in this battle and have no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. Most women who tell you they weren’t anxious, frustrated or weepy during the first few weeks after childbirth are simply hiding their feelings. The expectation to be rejoicing in motherhood is so high that it leaves many struggling to come to terms with these emotions.

But that can potentially destroy you. If you are feeling sad, let yourself be heard. Nobody is a supermom — it is perfectly alright to reach out to friends and family for help and take your time to recuperate. My doctor recommended making myself as comfortable as possible in my new role, to the extent that if I wanted a good night’s sleep I could replace breastfeeding with formula milk at night. Remember that if you’re happy and relaxed, you will automatically be a better nurturer.

Being a new mom is hard and there will always be days when you feel you weren’t cut out for this role. Instead of resorting to self deprecation, remind yourself that someone out there has possibly had it worse. Take solace in the fact that baby blues are temporary and soon you’ll start feeling yourself again. And if you don’t, please don’t take it lightly.

Dilaira Dubash heads the Magazine desk at The Express Tribune.

She tweets @DilairaM

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, NOVEMBER 29, 2015

A low feeling throughout the day, almost every day.

Loss of interest and pleasure in usual activities.

Significant changes (increase or decrease) in one’s weight and appetite.

Insomnia or hypersomnia.

Fatigue or loss of energy.

Decreased concentration or indecisiveness.

Recurrent thoughts of death or suicidal ideation (both for herself and the infant).

When things get out of hand — Postpartum Psychosis Although it is rare, close to 2% of new mothers fall into the third and most severe form of PPD, i.e. Postpartum Psychosis Disorder. As per the DSM-5 Criteria, the onset of one or more of its symptoms — within four weeks of delivery — might prolong the period of depression from (a minimum of) one day to (a maximum of) one month. “The patient may lose touch with reality and harm herself or the child,” explains Dr Uzma. “In such cases, immediate medical attention is a must.” The symptoms are as follows:

By Ishrat Ansari

The prevalence of Postpartum Disorders If baby blues persist, one should immediately seek medical assistance. The doctor might find that what the patient is going through is a classic case of Postpartum Psychiatric Disorders. The disorder manifests itself in three main stages: the basic baby blues, postpartum depression (PPD) and lastly, postpartum psychosis.

According to research conducted by the Centre for Women’s Mental Health at Massachusetts General Hospital, about 85% of women undergo some degree of mood disturbance during the post-natal period. “There is no single cause for this but a combination of physical, emotional and social changes certainly contribute,” explains Dr Nazila Bano Khalid, a psychiatrist at Aga Khan Health Services in Karachi. “The sudden drop of pregnancy hormones after delivery is a potential reason too,” she adds.

Women who miscarry are also at risk of the disorder as the loss of the child could leave her severely depressed. “It is a very traumatic experience for the patient,” says psychiatrist Dr Uzma Ambareen. Dr Nazila adds that depression due to unplanned or unwanted pregnancies also falls under this category.

However, despite its rampancy, postpartum disorders are largely misunderstood and often go undiagnosed. While most women bounce back to normalcy soon after the first month or two have passed, others run the risk of developing major psychiatric problems. Every woman has her own unique experience and so, understanding her post-baby behaviour is of utmost importance.

In general, baby blues can be alleviated through support from family members and adequate rest. In institutions such as Civil Hospital Karachi, patients are sent to post-delivery wards where they have to fill in a questionnaire. “The form has a number of questions to helps us comprehend whether the woman is likely to suffer from postpartum depression or not,” informs Dr Nusrat Shah, a gynaecologist at the hospital. “If we suspect a tendency, we ask them to see a psychiatrist.”

More than just baby blues According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), baby blues are a temporary condition and the mildest form of post-natal psychological trauma. About 30% to 75% of women begin to show signs within two or three days of delivery. The most common symptoms include anxiety, peevishness, loss of concentration, poor sleep and a general ‘low’ feeling within. Typically, the symptoms dissipate within two or three weeks following delivery but at times, they persist and grow into full-fledged postpartum depression.

DSM-5 states that the chances of postpartum depression are high throughout the first year of motherhood, particularly in the first four months. About 10% to 28% of women suffer from it on and off although the severity begins to recede after two weeks. “Also, those who experience postpartum depression in their first pregnancies are likely to go through it the next time they are pregnant too,” shares Dr Nazila. She highlights a list of the seven most common symptoms of the depression which include:

Delusional thoughts or hallucinations.

Disorganised speech and/or catatonic behaviour.

Sleep disturbance and agitation.

Risk of suicide or infanticide.

Dr Uzma adds that women who have previously undergone or are suffering from other psychiatric issues such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia are more likely to develop postpartum psychosis disorder.

A call for help After years of working with the mentally-challenged, Dr Uzma has arrived at one conclusion: Many women hide their illness lest they are perceived as unmotherly or crazy. They also feel that no one actually listens or understands since the basis of PPD goes against the prevalent cultural norms, she adds.

“They choose to internalise their suffering and remain quiet,” says Dr Uzma.

But since any disorder — physical or mental — is curable only if acknowledged, it is important to encourage women to come clean.

Perhaps this was why 26-year-old Hollywood starlet Hayden Panettiere spoke about her personal experiences so openly. “I suffered from postpartum depression. You are not alone or crazy, ladies!” said Hayden in an interview with US Weekly.

Ishrat Ansari works on the Karachi desk at The Express Tribune

Design by Talha Khan

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En vogue

The latest collection of pepe jeans will make you fall in love with denims all over again Label: Pepe Jeans Pakistan Styling: Haiya Bokhari Hair and make-up: Nabila Salon Photography by: Abdullah Haris Model: Mahira Khan

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, NOVEMBER 29, 2015

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, NOVEMBER 29, 2015

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Lifestyle

Sexual abuse of children is perhaps the least acknowledged category of molestation, especially in Pakistan. This is despite recent events of this nature which warrant immediate attention. According to Sahil, an organisation striving to report and remove child molestation across the country, nearly 3,002 related cases were registered in 2013 alone. By the end of 2014, the number has escalated to 3,508 — exclusive of the cases that were probably not reported or identified.

As parents we can no longer brush the issue aside and naively assume it will never happen to our children. We must assure that not only are they safe from it but also equipped to recognise and tackle sexual abuse, should the need ever arise. Rozan, another NGO working to raise awareness regarding molestation in Pakistan defines it as “Any activity in which an adult or older child uses a child in a sexual way.” According to Rozan, the ‘activities’ can include: • Inappropriate touching — especially around the private areas • Peeping into bathrooms (or bedrooms) while the child is using it • Making indecent comments and jokes in front of the child • Exposing the child to sexual activity of any kind, be it pornographic pictures or videos or one’s own sexual organs • Forcing the child to enact sexual ‘scenes’ like undressing — especially before a recording camera • Raping or attempting rape on the child But before we begin teaching our youngsters about this pressing issue, we must ensure that we comprehend it fully ourselves. There are many misconceptions people hold regarding child molestation which must be broken. For instance, we must realise that: • Child sexual abuse is not restricted to just the underprivileged or uneducated strata of society.

In fact, it is prevalent across every social class, regardless of religion, caste or creed.

• It is not only girls that are victimised by molesters.

Young boys are vulnerable to abuse as well.

• The offender does not necessarily have to be a stranger to the child or mentally unstable or queer in appearance. It can be anyone and anywhere.

• There have been cases of children as young as two

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, NOVEMBER 29, 2015

being raped or harmed in other ways. Therefore, it must be known that there are no age restrictions when it comes to child sexual abuse.

• Sexual abuse is not always accompanied by force or violence and therefore, becomes harder to spot in cases where the child sustains no obvious physical injury.

• The topic is such that it should be dealt with in secret. However, you must not assume that your child will automatically come and tell you about their experience. Granted children often make up stories but if you notice anything strange about their behaviour, it is best to approach them patiently and try to understand what they have to say without frightening them.

When it comes to sexual abuse, Rozan believes not being able to speak about it openly becomes the victim’s greatest vulnerability. “Often, this is accompanied by our discomfort as parents, teachers and adults to talk about such a sensitive issue,” states the Rozan Helpline blog.

“Understanding the importance of proactively seeking the required knowledge and skills to communicate with children is one way of playing our roles effectively.”

The blog goes on to say that educating children and addressing the issue on time is a must if we are to protect them. Our objective should be to employ age-specific methods to alert them. Dr Mary L Pulido, executive director at the New York Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NYSPCC) recommends, “Parents [should] frame the discussion around safety, rather than abuse, as it is less scary for the child.” Interestingly, children as young as two years of age have depicted the ability to grasp the concept of safety. Therefore, it is never too early for us to begin educating them. Following are some guidelines to follow when breaching the topic: • One must begin by informing their child about different body parts and the purpose of each.

Learning the correct names will make it easier for them to iterate what they went through. It is crucial to make them understand which of the parts are private (i.e. those that remain covered with underpants). This will also help alleviate any discomfort, embarrassment or hesitation they may harbour in their mind.

• Once your child has learnt about the human body, move onto distinguishing between good and bad touch. For instance, good touches may include hugs and kisses they receive from relatives and friends

as long as they don’t make you feel uncomfortable.

Unsafe touches, on the other hand, are those that hurt the child physically or emotionally and hence, should be reported.

• It is important that children develop the ability to resist things which make them uncomfortable, even though this can make them less disciplined in the long run. For this, do not force your child to kiss or hug others they do not want to. This will establish boundaries in the child’s mind and make them realise how to respect those boundaries. In her book Bitter Chocolate, journalist and author Pinki Virani alerts parents that child abuse may also be perpetrated by those who reside within our homes or are close to us, such as members of one’s domestic staff. Even though an offender may not necessarily be a stranger, children must learn to identify and protect themselves.

• Any measure undertaken towards educating the child is futile if you fail to create a comfortable and fun environment to talk in. Your child should know that they are cared for and not the culprit but the victim.

• Most importantly, it is the parent’s responsibility to remain vigilant of child abuse in every aspect of life. Internet abuse, for instance, is of particular importance seeing as how youngsters use the World Wide Web so regularly. There are options to place age-specific controls, monitor your child’s internet activity and ensure they never give out personal details over to anyone online.

Mehreen Ovais is an alumna of Manchester Business School and Lahore University of Management Sciences. She is passionate about writing and journalism. She tweets as @mehreenovais Design by Hira Fareed

Domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, NOVEMBER 29, 2015

By Kiran Zahra

Pumpkin cookies

These indulgent cookies melt in your mouth and give you a taste of the festive fall season.

Ingredients

PHOTO: KIRAN ZAHRA

• • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Pumpkin puree (canned or fresh) 1 cup Maple syrup 1 tbsp Apple sauce 1/3 cup Vanilla essence 1 tsp Coconut oil (melted) 1/4 cup Oat flour 1 cup Almond meal 1/2 cup Baking soda 1/2 tsp Aluminum-free baking powder 1/2 tsp Cinnamon 1 tsp Pumpkin pie spice 1/2 tsp Sea salt 1 pinch Mini chocolate chips 1/4 cup Pecans (chopped) 1/2 cup

Method • Preheat oven to 176o C. • Mix the coconut oil, vanilla essence, apple sauce, maple syrup and pumpkin together in a large bowl. Blend the ingredients using an electric blender.

• In a medium size bowl, sift together some spice, baking powder, baking soda, and almond meal and oat flour. Add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture and stir.

• Fold in the mint chocolate chips and pecans.

• Once the mixture has combined, place one tablespoon of the batter onto a large baking pan lined with parchment paper and keep going until all of the batter is used up.

• Bake the batter for 20 minutes to 25 minutes or until cooked through. Serve warm.

Note: You can store uneaten cookies at room temperature in a sealed glass container. They will last for two days at room temperature and five days in the refridgerator.

What to do with leftover pumpkin puree There are many recipes that require one whole can of puree. At other times, you end up with some leftover. Finding a decent recipe to utilise leftover pumpkin puree can be especially challenging since the fruit isn’t all too popular in Pakistan. But to make matters easier for you, we have shortlisted eight ideas that will use up the puree in ingenious ways.

Homemade pumpkin latte: This is one of Starbuck’s most sought after winter drinks. We may not have access to it here but it can easily be made at home by adding the puree to the latte mixture.

Pumpkin oatmeal breakfast: What could be a more cozier start to a winter morning than pumpkin porridge? Simply stir in a spoon or two of the puree into a bowl of cooked oatmeal and top it off with maple syrup.

Pancake paradise: If you are not too fond of oatmeal, you can make pumpkinflavoured pancakes by adding the puree to traditional pancake batter.

Mixed-fruit smoothie: Since you have added pumpkins to your coffee and breakfast bowls already, why not include them in smoothies as well? The additional fruit will not only jazz up the drink but also give it a healthy boost.

Bake some more: Cookies are not the only goodies you can make with this delicious fruit. There are plenty of other cakes, bars and muffins that require pumpkin puree.

Pumpkin dips: Bored of typical hummus and cheese dips? Whip up a pumpkin mix instead. Or better yet, add just one spoonful of puree to hummus.

Fold it into curries: The taste of pumpkins complements the flavours of curry really well. You can add a little bit of the leftover puree to curry or prepare a dish centered around pumpkins exclusively.

Freeze it: If you are still uncertain as to what to do with the leftover puree, just store it for future use. Pour the liquid into a clean ice-cube tray and place it in the freezer. Once the puree has frozen, remove it from the tray and store it in a sturdy plastic bag until it is required again.

SOURCE: CLOSERONLINE.CO.UK

Woman of the week 8

Posing for Fa yyaz

Ahmed.

Singing at a concert.

Singer

Performing at Ka rachi Golf Club.

If you don’t want to spend too much on yet another pair of pants, simply make your own ripped jeans at home.

• A pair of old jeans • Sandpaper • Pumice stone

Use a paintremoving block to lift some of the colour off of the part of your jeans that you want to rip. This will lighten the fabric. Focus on the knees and front of the thighs.

Decide on a spot where you want the edgy rips to be. For this, you should put the pants on and mark the exact locations. Usually, rips are placed above the knee caps. If you are going for several rips then mark the spots a couple of inches both above and below your knees.

Once you have taken the jeans off, put them on the ground and slip some cardboard into the legs to avoid the fabric at the back from ripping too.

Use a pumice stone or sand paper to rub on the marks to give a ‘distressed’ look.

• Paint-removing block • Cardboard • Sharp scissors

Begin the ripping!

Start by piercing holes in the fabric on either side of the leg using your sharp scissors. Switch to more blunt scissors to rip from one hole to the other.

• Slightly blunt scissors

Finish off the look by tearing off some strands around the holes. Use sandpaper or the pumice stone for a few seconds to give the finishing touches.

Voila! Your own customised pair of ripped jeans is now ready to be worn.

SOURCE: CLOSERONLINE.CO.UK

Design by Hira Fareed