The Express Tribune hi five - October 12

Ms OCTOBER 12, 2014

ISSUE NO. 121

A touch of glamour

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The right time to have a baby

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inside lifestyle —

Shelf-life for makeup

domestic goddess — Chicken and Spinach Bake

Section In-Charge: Sarah Munir Sub-Editors: Amna Hashmi Nisma Chauhan Feedback: women@tribune.com.pk

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The Digital Queen Zohra Alam

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the buzz

by Saif Asif Khan As Pakistan gradually transitions from traditional values to a more modern lifestyle, women across the country are acquiring greater say in decisions regarding their families and careers. The average Pakistani woman today is stronger and much more independent than before, having mastered the art of balancing her personal and professional life.

Nonetheless, she continues to face a challenge when it comes to the all-important question of when she should become a mother. Professional empowerment has encouraged many young women to use their careers as an excuse to delay motherhood, claiming that it will only impede their development. Cases like that of 30-year-old former bank manager, Faryal Masood* show that more and more women are opting for family planning. “Obviously, I love my son with all my heart but that doesn’t change the fact that I hadn’t intended for him to come just yet,” confesses Faryal. “However, I would be lying if I said I don’t regret what motherhood has meant for my career. I was a rising star at my banking corporation but now, I spend my days changing diapers.” Despite this, Faryal is very keen to resume her job once her son is a little older. “Motherhood has set me back by at least three years. It will be a nightmare going back into the professional world!” she adds.

For many women, the decision still lies in the hands of their husbands, in-laws or fate, often leading to an unwanted pregnancy. In fact, some like 27-year-old student Mehreen Rameez* are blissfully unaware of the entire reproductive process itself, let alone how to prevent it. “I was a naive 18-year-old when I was married. I foolishly believed my husband when he said unprotected intercourse wouldn’t impregnate me right away,” Mehreen discloses. “That was then. My daughter is now nine years old!”

30% Of course, the situation is complicated further by the proverbial ‘biological clock’ that encourages many unprepared couples to have a child hurriedly. Such was the case of 38-year-old trade consultant Saman Bokhari* who married her colleague, 45-year-old Ali Bokhari* after a brief courtship. “Ali had been married previously so he wasn’t too keen on having another child with me but I knew I wanted children,” shares Saman. “As I was already 36 with an unfavourable medical history, my doctor advised immediate conception and hence, we took the plunge.” Despite this, Saman still maintains it was too early for Ali and her to become parents. “Ali is great, I love him very much. I wish we had had more time to consolidate our relationship, though, before having our future hinged on our son.”

Fortunately or unfortunately, 22-year-old graduate Aliya Madni* had a similar experience except that she barely knew her husband Rashid Madni* prior to their marriage. To make matters worse, the newly-weds relocated immediately after the wedding which made it hard for Aliya to acclimatise to the new life. “I was in a new city with practically a stranger who left for work in the mornings and came back at night,” recalls Aliya. “Soon, both our families started to pressurise us for grandchildren, especially since Rashid didn’t allow me to study or work and I was mostly bored at home. I knew I wasn’t ready for a baby yet but succumbed to the pressures anyway.” With her first child due in a few months, Aliya has been busy keeping up with

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 12, 2014

her pregnancy but unfortunately, still remains largely unfamiliar with Rashid.

“He is the father of my unborn child and yet, I feel like I don’t really know him,” she complains.

In Pakistan, it is still common for the elders of the family to prescribe children to seal the deal on marriages. Society assumes that once a couple has children, their connection will solidify and intimacy will flow naturally.

While this may be true for many couples, examples like Aliya’s experience prove otherwise. “Becoming parents is the toughest job you will ever do and so, shouldn’t be agreed upon simply out of compulsion or to rectify marital problems,” explains 31-year-old housewife Saadia Kamran*. Both of Saadia’s sons were born following serious altercations that had made Saadia leave her husband and return to her parents. “Both times, Jameel* and I fought and I left. He came to take me back and I complied. We thought we should patch up by conceiving but sadly, we were very wrong.” Women like Saadia continue to suffer in a bad marriage due to ill-planned pregnancies.

“I am far from satisfied with Jameel,” admits Saadia. “His anger issues get so bad at times that my sons start crying! I wish we had thought parenthood through or waited until we were okay with one another.”

What is common amongst all of the women mentioned above is that none of them were staunchly against motherhood. They had hoped to become parents sooner or later and the misfortune that befell them was purely coincidental. Most women are certain they want children someday and a small number are absolutely positive that they don’t. However, there is another, tiny group of women that is rarely talked about in public: the ambivalent. Women like 33-year-old teacher Sonal Irshad* who fall in this category are unsure of whether they want to start a family or not, vacillating between “I don’t feel obligated to have a baby” and “What if I regret not having a baby when I am older?”

“It’s not that I don’t like children. I just don’t feel any deep, maternal, biological need to procreate,” shares Sonal. “I think there are plenty of us feel so and wait for absolute surety before conceiving.” The mental debate for this group of women isn’t simply due to career aspirations, search for the perfect husband or any other mitigating circumstance — they are genuinely confused about whether or not to have children and if yes, then when would be the right time to do so. According to Laura Carroll, author of parenthood and reproduction guide The Baby Matrix, “There’s no evidence that women have a biological urge to procreate. Humans are the only animals that can choose whether to spawn or not.”

“I have always been very career-oriented and never prioritised motherhood — or even marriage for that matter — and look how I turned out,” says Faryal.

“Yes, my career has been stalled a bit but I can always get back on board! I am glad I took the leap of faith and wouldn’t have it any other way.” Faryal admits that in retrospect, it was probably her intense fear of childbirth that made her put off motherhood, subconsciously hiding behind her career. As for the ambivalent, Faryal advises some research and soul-searching before arriving at a decision. If someone is unsure, they should sort through their feelings and address the issue properly. ” Amongst the examples above, all the women claim to love their children but the fact remains that would they say the same if they weren’t biologically wired to? The question that whether or not there is a right time or situation to start a family remains unanswered. Everyone has their own two cents to add to the jar — some would suggest jumping into it while others would advise waiting for the next promotion to come through before getting pregnant. Perhaps the answer lies in the subjectivity of the matter — some women have a tough time raising children. While others can’t seem to get enough of it. Regardless, of course, no amount of waiting for the right time can guarantee that. *Names have been changed to protect privacy.

A quick guide for new parents • Picking up your baby when they cry won’t spoil them. According to Maurice J Elias, author of Emotionally Intelligent Parenting, it is imperative that you pick your baby up each time they decide to throw a hissy fit. This is because during the first few months of their lives, babies need to be assured that they are cared for and given the confidence that their parents will respond to their needs.

• Sugar does not make children hyper. Thus far, there is no scientific evidence that proves that sugar gives children a high. In fact, an adrenaline surge may be caused by any other food that affects their blood-sugar level; it doesn’t have to be sugar or foods rich in it.

• “Because I am your mother and I said so!”

Many parents believe that telling their child who is in charge sparks rebellion and harms the relationship they share. In reality, it is very helpful in disciplining youngsters. If your child is being unreasonable or disobedient, feel free to reprimand them. However, be sure to do so in an authoritative rather than frightening manner and it is likely to be more effective and beneficial in the long run.

• Bribing children is a bad idea, let alone young, impressionable children. However, if you do not use it regularly it is harmless. In fact, try to avoid it unless you see no other way out.

• Dont fight in front of your children. Fighting between parents is normal in every household but excessive fighting can affect your toddler a great deal and make him think he is the reason for the conflict. Children believe their parents are perfect and fighting distorts their views.

So next time you feel ready to blow off some steam on your spouse, take it to another room!

SOURCE: PARENTS.COM

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en vogue

Ishtiaq Afzal’s new dramatic collection is a perfect fusion of eastern prints and western silhouettes.

Coordination: Umer Mushtaq Hair & Makeup: Saba Ansari at Sabs Label: La Raina by Shariq Designer: Ishtiaq Afzal Photography: Rohail Khalid Model: Saima Azhar

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 12, 2014

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 12, 2014

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lifestyle

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 12, 2014

If you’re a makeup junkie, there must be piles and piles of cosmetics lying in your dresser. We all tend to go a little overboard every time we step into a beauty store, thanks to the shiny, colourful packaging the little magic-mongers come in. Who can help themselves when there is so many different items to play with, right?

Sadly, more often than not, we buy way more makeup than we need. We hoard collections of nail colour, lipsticks, primers and creams, etc, waiting for the right time to use it all. But when the right time doesn’t show up, the products we so lovingly indulged in start to deteriorate. And what’s worse is that we can’t always tell when they have gone bad, unassumingly giving ourselves blemishes, rashes and other skin irritiations. But don’t worry! MsT is here to help you understand the expiration date on your favourite beauty products and keep your collection safe and clean.

by Nayab Najam

Keeping check of your foundation is crucial as it is the only form of makeup that goes all over the skin on your face. Consequently, anything that might be wrong with the foundation can give rise to pimples, dark spots and allergic reactions. Most liquid foundations are water-based which makes them the ideal breeding ground for bacteria.

Hence, it is best if you change your founda-

tion bottle within the year. If you use foundation frequently, perhaps a powder-based or stick foundation would suit you better as they are not water-based and less vulnerable to germs. Not only do they last longer than liquid foundation, they are also easier to store. Bear in mind that regardless of the type, all foundation must be kept in a cool, dry place, away from sunlight or open air.

Once again, cream, mousse or liquid blushes are more susceptible to bacteria and must be replaced within two years time. What is more important in the case of blush is to keep the brushes washed and residue-free at all times.

Avoid using the same brushes for foundation and blush as this can ruin the effect of both products. Not to mention, sharing brushes can transfer germs from one product to another and cause both to go bad.

Your eyes are amongst the most sensitive part of your body and anything that comes in contact with them must be 100% germfree. This makes mascara a great threat as the constant opening and closing of the tube causes bacteria and fungi in the air to stick onto the wand. As a result, mascara gener-

Eye shadow comes in direct contact with mucous membrane and therefore, you must be very cautious while using it. Most products come in powder form and last for a long time but cream-based formulas must be thrown out within six months, even if the expiration date is far off.

ally lasts about four months until it either dries up or acquires a foul scent. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should wait for it to start smelling before you throw it away! Once the four month mark has passed, be sure to invest in a fresh new tube lest you contract an eye infection.

You can stretch the unofficial expiry date on your makeup products by following these simple tips: • To clean your brushes and maintain their soft texture, create a sweet-smelling soap dip by mixing some coconut oil with anti-bacterial liquid soap and water. Gently massage the residue out of the brush. Avoid submerging it in the water completely as it washes out the glue which binds the bristles together.

• Free your mascara from germs by dipping the wand in a

Much like foundations, liquid concealer decomposes faster than a powder-based one owing to the higher water content. Powder concealer can last up to two years, provided that its colour remains the same throughout. Be mindful of any changes in its colour as this indicates that the product has started to go bad. Concealer should also be stored in a dry, humidity-free environment.

The formula used in lip cosmetics luckily contains little or no water and is safe to use for up to a year and half. It is advisable, however, to avoid using lipsticks, chap sticks and glosses while you are sick to decrease the chance of germs sticking on to the cosmetics. Also, make sure to place the cap on securely.

bowl of hot (not boiling) water, rinsing it with cold water and patting it dry with a paper towel. Place the wand back in the tube and lock the cap tightly, making it airtight.

• You can revive dried up nail polish by pouring a few drops of nail polish remover into the bottle and shaking it thoroughly.

The remover acts as a thinner and adds shine to the colour inside.

• To effectively use that last, hard-to-access bit of your lipstick, melt a few drops of coconut oil onto it and use it as a lip balm.

Just like with mascara, eye liner attracts air-borne germs which stick to the liquid and cause it to rot. These – especially the gel liner variety – are notorious for drying out quickly, even if sealed and stored carefully but we believe that is a good thing!

There are many incredulous ways people use to make their eye liner last longer, such as heating it to melting point or adding thinner to it but this can be extremely detrimental to the eyes, causing infections, redness and even sties! We cannot stress the importance of clean eye makeup enough.

If you’re eye-liner has gone arid, smells different or gives you even the slightest bit of irritation, toss it immediately and buy yourself a new tube. You will not regret it!

domestic goddess 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 12, 2014

By Hirra Pervaiz If your children shy away from eating their greens, this creamy spinach pie is the answer to your prayers! The hearty recipe mixes light chicken bits, cheese and spinach perfectly together.

ingredients Butter 4 tbsp

Cheddar cheese (grated) 1/2 cup

Flour 4 tbsp Cream 1/2 cup Milk 2 cups Salt 1/2 tsp or to taste Black pepper 1/2 tsp

Chicken (boiled and shredded) 1 and 1/2 cup Spinach (boiled and chopped) 1/2 cup

Loaded with proteins, potassium and iron, spinach is extremely beneficial for your health.

It is also a great source of minerals, vitamin A, vitamin C and alkaline which help balance the body’s pH levels. One of the most effective forms of spinach consumption is drinking it in the form of a juice. Simply chop two cups of spinach in a food processor to extract the juice. Pour it into a glass and drink it cold. Not only is spinach juice healthy, it is also a great way to beat the summer heat.

Tip: Does the idea of a spinach juice make you queasy?

Don’t worry! For better taste, you can add apple chunks into the food processor. Apples boost the nutrient quotient of the juice and add a sweet taste as well.

Chicken broth 1/2 cup Breadcrumbs 1/2cup

White pepper 1/4 tsp

• In a large pot, melt the butter over medium heat and add flour to it, mixing until it becomes foamy.

• Slowly, pour milk into the pot, stirring continuously to avoid any lumps. Allow the mixture to boil and simmer for 2-3 minutes, until it thickens.

• Take the pot off the heat and mix in the cream, salt, black and white pepper.

• Add the boiled chicken and spinach to the pot and mix.

• Pour in the chicken broth and mix again. (Check the consistency of the mixture before adding the entire broth — it shouldn’t be too runny).

• Allow the mixture to boil for another two minutes and turn the heat off.

• Check the taste of the mixture. If it tastes fine, transfer the mixture into a casserole dish for baking.

• Sprinkle some shredded cheddar cheese for an upper layer and top it off with bread crumbs.

• Bake the dish in the oven for about eight to 10 minutes, until the cheese is bubbly and the crumbs become golden-brown.

• Serve hot!

Spinach is also extremely beneficial for pregnant women! It provides essential nutrients needed by the developing fetus and also enhances the amount and quality of milk produced in a mother’s body.

— High nutrients present in spinach are great for building blood. They stimulate the creation of red blood cells which safeguard you against anemia.

— Spinach is a green vegetable which automatically makes it rich in chlorophyll, flavanoid and lution which prevent the growth of cancerous cells.

— Vitamin A and caretoniods found in spinach help combat eyesight problems like night blindness and cataract. Vitamin C helps cure bleeding gums and colds. Vitamin K in spinach combats osteoporosis and helps secure calcium, assuring healthy and strong bones. Vitamin B complex in the green help stimulate hair growth and retain shine, resulting in healthy hair and an itch-free scalp.

— This leafy vegetable is high on fiber which helps cure stomach problems like constipation, poor digestion or ulcers.

— Spinach juices keep your skin supple and hydrated resulting in healthy and glowing, younger-looking skin.

woman of the week 8 e world A glimpse into th rhouses we po i of Pakistan

With my hubb y

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With my mom.

Fashion Designer

With my son.

The cabbage soup diet: This week-long regime promises quick results and great nutritional value. The recipe includes cabbage, green onions, celery, tomatoes, green peppers, carrots, mushrooms and some vegetable juice, along with a multi-vitamin supplement to keep your healthy.

The heart soup diet: A mixture of beef broth, green onions, carrots, celery, beans, peppers and tomatoes, the heart soup is ideal for keeping your weight in check. The beef broth adds important proteins to the meal as well.

If you’re hoping for a slimmer physique, it’s time for you to start slurping some good soup. The science is hardly any breaking news – the more soup you drink, the more likely you are to shed those stubborn fat deposits off as soups makes one feel fuller. This means that you feel less inclined to gobble those extra calories up. According to dietician and best-selling author of Soup Can Make You Thin, Fiona Kirk, drinking soup thrice a day can help you lose up to ten lbs in just ten days! Studies have revealed that indulging in just a little bit of soup before a meal reduces one’s calorie intake by 20%.

In fact, the benefits of soup diets aren’t restricted solely to weight-loss. The liquid food also cuts risks of heart diseases, diabetes and other weight-related health hazards. The high water content keeps the body hydrated. Not to mention, diet soups are rich in the nutritional goodness of essential vegetables, giving you the right nutrients you need for a healthy living. And most importantly, they are quick and easy to make. Simply boil a pot of water, throw in lots of colourful chopped vegetables, add some spices and voila!

The chicken soup diet: Perhaps the most beneficial of the soup diets, chicken soup is an excellent source of proteins. In this particular regime, every meal (except breakfast of course!) includes a cup or two of chicken soup before the main meal. Breakfast may be wheat bread, fresh or dried fruits, bran cereal, cottage cheese, yogurt, skimmed-milk or orange juice.

The recipe includes boiled and shredded chicken chunks mixed with carrots and onions.