The Express Tribune hi five - October 7

Ms

inside domestic goddess Have a cookie

style crush Jessa Johansson - the unapologetic rebel

OCTOBER 7, 2012 ISSUE NO. 16

globe trotter Riding her bike around the world

hottie of the week

Our desi David Schwimmer

Eastern grandeur When exaggerated cuts and regal hues collide

page

Turning 30 page

Your guide to making the most of this defining age

Section In Charge: Batool Zehra Send your feedback to women@tribune.com.pk

Signs you’re a grown up now

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Ms

the buzz

The BIG

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

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Hello, Adulthood! by Saba Khalid

All the things to do, and not to do when you hit this defining age

There is nothing better than turning 18. Your skin and hair look fabulous, men can’t help but adore you, and the world feels like your oyster — ready to open and give up all its pearls to you. But as the digits add up, that world of possibilities shrinks and it’s what you’ve made of the years that counts. By the time you blow 30 candles on your birthday cake, God help you if you don’t already have a string of achievements to your name. Media, society and people have decided your fate and dictated that the only good thing is that at least you’re not turning 40.

But if you’re a smart woman, you’ll treat this age as an opportunity to embrace your womanhood and be comfortable in your own skin — without feeling the slightest bit worried if it’s a little saggy, flaky and imperfect. This is actually the perfect age to come to a clear definition of who you really are: grow up, feel empowered and do not stress about the things you haven’t done or seen. So if you’re about to hit 30, cut yourself a break and stop following other people’s rules of how life should be lived. You’ve made it so far, and it’s been interesting ... the rest can’t be all that bad, right?

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

Dos Cook like a chef and bake like a badass Being single or having a cook is no excuse for proudly proclaiming: “The only thing I can cook is an omelette!” Having the habits of a sloppy teenager should never be a point of pride. Also, passing off a Betty Crocker German chocolate cake as something you made from scratch does not count — it’s only sweetened deception! Whether it’s a mean pasta or delectable palak gosht, learn to cook — not just to please the saas or your miyaan, but to make yourself more independent.

Leave bad hairdos behind By 30, you should be done with all the pink/blue/green hair extensions and that super-short hairdo that was supposed to make you look like a pixie but ended up making you look like Shrek (yep, that only works on Winona Ryder). Now’s the time you say ‘no’ to experimentation and hair nightmares. You should know what colour and cut works for you, and the hairstylist who can make it all happen. And stick by it for a while.

Learn to drive a car and change a tyre There’s something so empowering about driving a stick, fixing your hair in the rearview mirror and parallel parking like a pro. But most of us are so scared of the crazy buses, the aggressive men and mixing up the accelerator with the brake (only happened once) that we don’t even bother trying. Not much point in being an empowered feminist who relies on her drivers/father/brother to take her around, is there? Wouldn’t it be nice to have no one do your bidding but you?

Save, save, save The little girl in you might still want to splurge your entire pay on a pair of yummy shoes because you’ve got daddy or hubby to take care of you. But pretty much anything can happen in a few years and if, God forbid, something does happen, I’m thinking those sassy red heels won’t look so good then. The more you save today, and put away in some smart investment scheme, the safer and more secure your future will be. Think about retirement and old age — it will happen soon and it’s best to be prepared.

Learn to enjoy solitude We spend much of our teens around friends, teachers and family. Our twenties are spent with bosses and colleagues.

And, along the way, we get so used to this constant interaction that we don’t know how to function without it. So when we’re left alone to ourselves, we can’t help but want to run away. We surround ourselves with anything and everything to keep us distracted. But to be able to spend hours on your own — it’s an art form, a way to centre yourself, and to get the creative juices flowing. So by your thirties, you should not only learn to spend quality time with yourself, you should know how to love it!

Instead of volunteering just for the sake of it, find a cause closer to you We’ve all posted a picture or two on Facebook showing off our altruistic side. But we’re not fooling anyone — we’re only doing it to kill time and feel better about ourselves. Giving back means giving of oneself. Rather than searching for a random cause, look around you. If you know that a friend or colleague is going through trauma or that a relative is in a financial pinch, be there for them in all the ways that you can. Not only is this a better test of your character, it is something you’ll be motivated about it for a long time.

Don’ts Fall ridiculously in love with a person without any expectations I know, I know, love can happen at any time, at any age. But we’re hoping that by age 30, you’re done with both the crazy crushes that won’t work out and the relationships that are bound to fail. If you’ve decided you want to stay single, then stop wasting your energy on idiots. By this time, you should be clear about all the things you want and don’t want in a guy and the route you want the relationship to take. This is not the time to act like a love-struck teenager.

Obsess about your insecurities So you have some junk in your trunk, don’t understand the ‘love’ in your ‘love handles’, have arms that jiggle and jumble — now’s about time you GET OVER IT! Either get your dimpled butt on a treadmill or stop whining! Because really, what’s the point of making plans to take care of yourself in the future? Do it now. Eat better and rather than trying to be as thin as Kareena Kapoor, indulge in physical activities that you actually enjoy. You’ll feel ten times better physically and emotionally.

5 signs you’re a grown up now

The small moments before the milestone of ‘30’ that make you realise that you’re no longer a teenager

You actually start avoiding junk food

Double-decker burgers with cheese oozing out of them make you cringe rather than drool. You no longer trust your metabolism and on those not-so-awesome days you feel like a female version of Jack Black. If you’re already overdosing on exotic tea blends and trees and plants look like food to you because they don’t add to your already protruding pouch, know that the age monster has finally taken you in its claws.

Your choice in make-up changes

You avoid that red lipstick with specks of purple glitter and that transparent roll-on gloss like you avoid your over-possessive ex. You realise that the red lipstick screamed “Attention Seeker!” and the reason you were such a hit with kids was probably because you looked like Bozo the clown. Out go the candy-flavoured lip balms and in comes the odourless, mentholated Blistex.

Concerts don’t seem cool

Gone are the days when ear-deafening concert performances were your idea of a ‘cool’ Saturday night. Now lying lifeless in front of the idiot-box in your dirtiest/ softest pajamas or listening to soft rock on your iPod in the balcony is the way you want your Saturday to go by. You actually start considering the ‘too loud’ warning sign on your iPod and the overall health of your ears is important now.

From Eidi-taker to Eidi-giver

Children start flocking around you like greedy vultures at Eid parties just to get their share of the moolah you earn after a month of slavery. You obviously feel like tripping all of the rug rats but your age doesn’t allow you to do any of this. So you smile, hand over the crisp fresh notes and swallow that lump in your throat. There goes your Saturday overtime money.

Quit a job for frivolous reasons My boss is a witch. Quit. They don’t serve good coffee. QUIT. They won’t let me vacation for 45 days a year. QUIT! These excuses seem pretty reasonable at age 22 but they say more about you than the entire corporate world. Anything you do after 30 shouldn’t be done on a mere whim. It should be well-thought out.

Fret about the wrinkles You know this pretty smile of yours, pretty soon, it’ll give you laugh lines. That forehead that you furrow when you want to look all cute and confused, it’s eventually going to give you crow’s feet and whether you have a character or not, you’re still getting those defining character lines. So here’s what you do, throw an all-out fit, eat 10 boxes of ice-cream, whine about it for a night and then get over it. Fretting about these wrinkles won’t make them go away, but it might make them worse. So just stay confident knowing that people will focus more on your fab smile and the sound of your laughter than those tiny lines around your mouth.

Cut out all negative influences and cement old friendships By 30, it’ll be easier to spot all the important people who care about you and those who are only using and abusing you.

So break free of the negative people. And as for the ones who make a difference in your life, treasure them even more, make sacrifices for them, clear out time for them and love them as much as possible.

Married/pregnant friends

Half of your school friends are getting married and the other half are already en route to motherhood. Most of them tell similar stories about how their baby kicks when they overdose on Coke and how their husband is so in love with his Nazi mother. Suddenly, you start recalling the faces of all those men who asked you out when you were an androgynous 16-year-old.

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Ms

en vogue

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

Ethereal affair One of the major players in the make-up industry, Aliya Tipu has forayed into fashion and her maiden collection has a majestic appeal to it. Opting for classic combinations like black-beige-gold, pink-sea green and red-black, this collection is for women who love exaggerated silhouettes and a regal look.

Coordinator: Umer Mushtaq Hair and make-up: Aliya Tipu @ Allenora Designer: Allenora by Aliya Tipu Photography: Rohail @Munna Mushtaq Studio Models: Konain and Eshal Fayyaz

domestic goddess 5 Recipe

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

Sweet Saunf and Zeera Butter Cookies In a bakery full of sweet delights, my Mom never understood why I would always go for the savoury cookie! My favourite among them would have to be Zeera biscuits. Here is a sweet twist to them using sugar-coated saunf and zeera. Expect a sweet, savoury, crunchy, buttery cookie that you won’t be able to stop eating!

Makes about: 15-20 cookies Total time: 30 minutes Utensils required: Round cookie-cutter, baking paper, baking tray, rolling pin, electric whisk

Sumayya Jamil is a lawyerturned-food writer and cookery teacher in London, who is on a mission to promote the love of Pakistani food in the UK. She blogs at pukkapaki.com

method 1. Preheat your oven to 450o F or 230o C. 2. In a mixing bowl, cream the butter with the sugar until the mixture is light and fluffy.

3. Slowly add the flour, zeera and 1/2 tsp of the sugar-coated saunf to the butter mixture. It should now look quite crumbly.

4. Place the crumbly mixture on a clean, floured surface and press together until it forms a dough. Now knead until it all comes together.

5. Using a floured rolling pin, roll the dough out and sprinkle remaining sugar-coated saunf on top for decoration. Then, using the cookiecutter cut out circles and place on a baking tray which has been lined with baking paper.

6. Bake for a maximum of 7-8 minutes; keep checking to make sure that the cookie edges don’t get burnt.

7. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack and allow to cool.

ingredients Salted butter 100 grams Plain flour 175 grams Baking powder 1-1/4 tsp Caster sugar 50 grams Sugar-coated aniseed (saunf) 1-1/2 tpsp Cumin seeds (zeera) 1 tbsp

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Ms

Style crush

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

The new

Samantha Jones – younger and gutsier!

by Saba Khalid

Why we want to be besties with Jessa Johansson from “Girls”

Remember that one girl in high school? The one you worshipped and despised, wanted to be and hated to see — that’s Jessa Johansson (played by actor Jemima Kirke) from “Girls” for me. This nomadic dreamer with a hippie heart is more messed up than Charlie Sheen. She drives men insane (the look on her employer’s face while she slowly applied red lipstick was classic). She wears completely impractical clothing for every occasion (remember her dressed up as a geisha for a date?). Yet, she still manages to get it right every time!

How?

Here are just a few reasons why this character is ‘Shoshana’.

The British accent Admit it, you want one too! Even something like, “I need to go potty” sounds multilayered, high-brow and insightful when said in that cool accent.

She makes skinny look stupid

She’s anything but skinny but you’d be stupid to call her fat. She’s got the best of both worlds — a booty big enough to be shaken and cheekbones sharp enough to slash a tyre.

She doesn’t dress to fit in How many times do I rethink an outfit before stepping out, take off one accessory in the car because it jingles too much and rub out my purple eyeliner in my cubicle because its too much for work? But Jessa — NEVER! She’s as forthright about her choices in fashion as she is about her choice in men!

A nomad who looks it everyday Even when she’s strolling through the streets of New York, Jessa’s oversized rings and hats make you wonder if she’s a royal princess who ran away to live with an African tribe.

Her name. Jessica + Tessa = Jessa Who wants to be a Marney or Hannah, when you can be a Jessa?

you go, girl 7

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

Motorbike

by Zahrah Nasir

Wheeling from dreams to reality

Miss

Roaring around the world on a motorbike, with just two changes of clothes at hand, is definitely not every woman’s cup of tea. But this is what 28-year-old Fern Hume has been dreaming about since she first sat on a classic motorbike as a tiny tot. That bike was just one of the many her father builds and restores “back home” in Ely, Cambridgeshire, UK. and her father’s great love for these machines was handed down to Fern who got her own Suzuki GS125 at the age of 18, taking to the British roads in fine style.

The blond, blue-eyed Fern, who is currently in Pakistan as part of her round-the-world trip, says the idea of this journey took shape when she read Jupiter’s Travels, the classic motorbike travel book, in which Ted Simon narrates his experience of riding round the world in the 1970s. “I was hooked” she explains as she perches atop her motorbike ‘Kitty’. The name is a nod to ‘Kitt’, David Hasselhoff’s car in the iconic 80s series “Knight Rider”.

Fern was also inspired by Scottish actor Ewan McGregor’s motorcycle journey, documented in the television series Long Way Around. “I am going to do that,” she thought but erroneously thought that she would need to join a group. “Then I chanced across a book by Lois Pyrce, a British motorcyclist who rode from London to Cape Town on her own, plus an account of two women who did exactly the same back in 1935. That’s when I decided that I could ride right around the world on my own.”

Fern first sold off her old motorbike as money was needed for a Suzuki DRZ 400cc. “I decided that would be the most suitable bike for my journey. A bike with a bigger engine, say a huge BMW, would have been great but they are very heavy and if it fell over or something, I would never be able to lift it back up on my own. Riding such a large machine would have been exhausting too.”

On June 2, Fern was given a grand farewell by tearful family and friends in London and drove off into the rain, shedding tears that no one could witness. Once she rounded the first corner, though, a tidal wave of adrenalin swept over her. She spent her first night away at a small French campsite where, despite school French, she could not understand a single word of what was being said. “I ended up being daunted at the prospect of all the countries I was to cross and all the languages I couldn’t speak.”

On her first attempt, Fern got as far as Germany when engine problems forced her to turn around and go home. “I was devastated,” Fern recalls. “I knew it was the sensible thing to do but it really was terribly painful to turn the bike around and go back.”

Some people thought that Fern had given up at the very first hurdle but, after cursing her mechanic who had failed to properly rebuild her engine and having him put things right, she got back on the road once more. “I am a motorbike mechanic trained by my father, but rebuilding an engine required the type of specialised training I do not have.”

With a self-allocated baggage allowance of 40 kg — the bulk taken up by motorbike tools, a tent, emergency medical kit, and survival food — Fern did not have room to spare for clothes. She settled on just two changes of clothes, a few toiletries and a little make-up. “I can justify the bottle of pink nail varnish as it marks nuts and bolts so that I can check them for movement!”

Back on track, she rode like the wind across France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Italy and into Greece.

Fern first had issues with members of the opposite sex in Turkey.

On the highway to Erzurum in Eastern Turkey, a shock absorber collapsed, snapping the bike chain. A farmer came to her help and called a mechanic. “The mechanic took my bike to his workshop, then gave me a lift to a hotel. But no sooner had we set off — in the

wrong direction as it turned out — than he began grabbing my leg.”

Fern’s quick reaction saved her. “I screamed at him, whisked out my cell phone and told him that I was calling the police. He then took me to my hotel, made ‘romantic’ suggestions and left.”

Her second ‘man problem’, also in Turkey, arose after a guided tour of historical sites. “The tour leader, who worked at the hotel in Dogubayazit, pestered me for a date which I repeatedly refused. He then spent the entire night pacing up and down the corridor and periodically tapping on my window. I was en route to Iran early in the morning so, rather than create a stink, I tried to ignore him and get some sleep.”

Iran turned out to be a whole new world. “It was just too hot to wear a headscarf underneath my helmet,” she says. “So I kept one around my neck and, the second I took my helmet off, I would put on the headscarf.”

She was accosted for her apparel only once, during a religious festival in Mashhad, when a group of women told her to cover her pink blouse with a black chador.” It wasn’t threatening; it was for my own safety,” Fern stresses. “I am careful to observe the traditions of the countries I travel in. Also, in Tabriz, Iran, the head of a tourist information place told me ‘We are not Taliban. You can lighten it up a bit’ then took me home to meet his wife and children for dinner.”

From Iran, she roared on to Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan, crossing Central Asia in a series of ups and downs.

“The beautiful, frozen lakes and spectacularly high mountains of Tajikistan; the flashing gold teeth of country women in Uzbekistan; the privilege of yurt life, complete with horses, in Kyrgyzstan; all these will stay with me forever … as will bad events such as having to hole up in Dushanbe for a week as a result of civil unrest,” she says.

In China, foreigners are not allowed to wander freely, and each person or group must be accompanied by a travel guide who is with them every step of the way. “This is very expensive,” she explains. “So before leaving England I had posted a message on the internet reaching out to other motorcyclists going my way so we could share the cost.”

Crossing into China, she met, as scheduled, riders from Poland, Italy, Spain, America and Germany. The 10 riders each paid out $700 for their Chinese guide all the way to the Khunjerab Pass.

“The Pakistani border guards gave the group a wonderful welcome which was matched by our reception in first Karimabad and then in Gilgit,” she says with a broad smile and a handful of choice nimco. The group broke up in Gilgit and Fern took the Karakoram Highway alone. “On the KKH, I had to have a police escort. This initially freaked me out because of the high visibility of guns, but I realised its necessity when I was pelted with stones and spat on in Dasu. Riding down the fabled KKH was a massive thrill. I loved the incredulity dawning on the faces of schoolgirls when they realised that this was a woman on the bike. I hope I have inspired at least one of them to dream.”

Riding all the way from Besham, she reached Islamabad in a torrential rainstorm. Fern searched, in vain, for a secure campsite but finally settled in a hotel so that she could apply for an Indian visa the very next day.

From India her planned route is through Nepal and Thailand.

Then she may wander around East Asia for a few months before moving on to Australia, New Zealand, South and North America and then cross the ocean and turn back home … or she might just change her mind and roar off somewhere else!

hottie of the week 8

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, OCTOBER 7, 2012

Status Single, “Tarka Laga Kay” Birthday November 5, 1986 Horoscope Scorpio

Face

95%

Who is he?

Moin Khan, the bloke who made headlines for biking around the world, looks like a hotter espanol version of David Schwimmer. The 24-yearold travelled by road from the United States to Pakistan under the plan titled ‘A Different Agenda’. This adventure-loving guy is a hipster who says “I hate all the professions everyone around me chooses: banking, marketing, finance, PR, doctor, engineer - I don’t want to do any of that.”

Talent

90%

Why he’s droolworthy At heart, Khan may be a “hardcore Punjabi” with a boisterous sense of humour but he looks more like a steamy footballer playing for Italy or Spain – minus the ‘gora’ attitude, of course, which only makes the deal sweeter. He is the very personification of the Mountain Dew man, ready for adventure and up for any challenge. His boyish enthusiasm and love of escapades oozes from every word. “Living in San Francisco for six years I barely got positive news out of Pakistan, so I decided to act like Captain Planet and change things around,” he says.

Who can resist a totally scrumptious guy who doesn’t act like he’s a freaking Greek god with eyes and nose all pointing north? Our Lord Humbleton doesn’t mind showing his silly side and can take a jibe at himself. The biker claims, “I love motorcycles more than I should, and I love Pakistan more than I love motorcycles. That’s a whole lot of love that makes me want to do these crazy missions.” He is the class clown, the suave patriot and the gung-ho risk taker who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and can turn the dreariest task into an adventure.

Charisma

100%

Total Package

Things you didn’t know about him Khan reads a lot of Che Guevara and listens to Tupac Shakur. “People like them inspire me to get out of the shell we live in and do something amazing for others,” he says.

His inexhaustible energy will never make you feel old as he himself does not want to “grow old on a charpayee.”

As for his ideal woman, Khan’s better half “should not be worried about me being me” and we suggest only Pamela Anderson body doubles should try out for this bloke who demands a perfect “36-24-36”!

Photo: Mobeen Ansari

92%

Moin Khan