The Express Tribune hi five - September 30

Ms SEPTEMBER 30, 2012 ISSUE NO. 15

Back to the future An edgy spin on current trends

page

Fairy tales page Breaking the spell

like a boss

inside Section In Charge: Batool Zehra Send your feedback to women@tribune.com.pk

When your ideas get stolen

hottie of the week Zooming in on Tapu Javeri

in his head

The fashion verdict of regular guys

Fairytale endings you would never see

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Ms

the buzz

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

How Disney ru for the

by Saba Khalid

When you’re a little girl, the most magical thing you’ll ever see on screen is a colourful Disney film and chances are that you’ll be fascinated by the big-eyed, rosy-cheeked Disney Princess who’ll become a role model of sorts. Watch the same as a grownup and you’ll come to realise how messed up these princesses really are. Bursting at the seams with genderstereotyping, these films build up ridiculous expectations in girls — from themselves, from relationships with men and life in general. And while I realise that the job of these films is to entertain, not prepare you for the world, the fantasies projected in them have deceived many a little girl and crushed many dreams.

Someone should rewrite these innocuous tales to reveal exactly what’s out there. Here are just a few bad lessons that come out of Disney films.

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No need to work, just find yourself a saviour The only reason Disney princesses breathe, eat, swim, sing, grow their hair, wear ridiculous clothing and shoes, is so that they will one day find themselves a good-looking prince. And once they do, all their problems in life are solved. That means if you don’t find a prince, or if yours happens to be on the ugly or on the less charming side, you’ll still be struggling all your life.

2 Crying solves everything

So your stepsisters practically stripped you for wearing their rags and your stepmother deceived you and wouldn’t take you to the ball, DON’T bother to struggle, talkback, rage or run away. JUST CRY, CRY, CRY! A fat lady will pop out of nowhere and take care of all your miseries. But the last time I bawled when I had nothing to wear for a shaadi, my mother told me to suck it up and act like a grownup!

Rodents make the best of friends

Inspired by Cinderella and her hardworking rat pals, I spent my own childhood trying to befriend the mouse in the house. And let me tell you, it has still not braided my hair, cooked for me, made me a brand new dress or wiped my tears. But it has ruined quite a few of my dresses.

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No real career aspirations

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Considering the princesses’ retirement plan has been to serve the prince, what happens when the prince breaks up with you, dies, or goes to war?

The princess would have nothing to fall back on.

Okay, that’s stretching it, because she could definitely make a great maid. Think about it — Snow White’s urge to cook and clean was so extreme that she broke into someone’s house and just decided to cook and clean for them probono.

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In Disney world, no need for positive female figures

What is up with the fact that almost all Disney princesses have no mothers? Cinderella’s mother — dead, the Little Mermaid’s mother — dead, Sleeping Beauty’s mother — gave away the kid to some crazy fairies!

With all these motherless role models, as a child, I didn’t know what to make of my alive-and-kicking amma. At the time, she seemed like an impediment in my own fairytale. But maybe if all these Disney princesses had mothers like mine, they’d knock some sense into their flighty heads and tell them to study instead.

Good always kicks evil’s butt and karma is your best friend

When you’re in the Disney world, everything fixes itself towards the end. The glass shoe fits, the girl comes out of her coma, the dragon is slain, the sea-witch dies — but none of that happens in the real world. I mean, if good triumphed over evil, would we be in this state?

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

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Everything ugly and old is evil

This is how a princess thinks: if it’s something cute, dwarfish and furry — trust it.

If it’s old and ugly, run like a mad dog. The Queen in Snow White is so obsessed with youth, she’ll do anything and everything to get it. The takeaway from this is when you’re young, milk it, because when you’re older, you’ll only turn desperate and crazy.

Obsession with gora rung and never-fading youth

It’s always the FAIR princess — she’s called Snow WHITE, you know!

There’s no sanwali princess, no Plain Jane heroine. Now maybe that’s why little girls want to powder themselves and put on some lipstick at age 5. No one is born that rosy and gorgeous, Snow White, so where are you hiding your stash of Fair n Lovely?

9 Uncomfortable = pretty

You know the real reason why Cinderella left that shoe at the palace — it hurt like crazy! And what is up with all the pink frilly nylon tutus these Disney princesses keep wearing? Has anyone worn those while sweeping floors and scrubbing the windows and not developed a mad rash?

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Once the prince is in your pocket — ditch your family and friends

I’m sorry, but the Little Mermaid is a conniving minx. After she gets the prince and her dream Caribbean wedding, she ditches her entire family and friends. I’m kind of glad though. Imagine what would happen to Sebastian if he showed up at the wedding — he’d end up served as an entrée.

The good side of Disney

Mulan

Now it would be unfair to say that all Disney heroines are bad role models — it’s only those spoilt princesses. Whenever Disney shows a regular gal who isn’t conventionally beautiful, she turns out to be pretty smart and intriguing.

This girl is truly one of the most bad-ass chicks I’ve seen.

She shows that if you’re not taken seriously because you’re a woman, trick them into believing you’re a man!

Genius … that’s something us working girls with our stiff suits and manly pants have been trying to do for ages.

She’s also a fighter and cares about her nation. And love isn’t something she sets herself out for — it just happens to her while she’s achieving her bigger goals. .

Pocahontas

She ended a war, she cared about the environment and her people, and she freaking jumped off a cliff — now that’s the girl I want to be!

Sadly ever after Fairytale endings you never get to see

Disney films end with a grand wedding, when the prince and princess get married. What you never get to find out is whether that elated happily-everafter feeling continues after the honeymoon. We decided to fast-forward these tales to see what our beloved princesses actually end up going through.

Beauty and the Beast

Now before the wedding, Belle was a dreamer and a book lover who believes that when the magic wears off, the Beast will change inside out. Unfortunately, we all know that while it’s easy for guys to shave and suit up, changing their habits is a different ball game altogether!

While the beast’s looks have changed, his attitude surely hasn’t. He emotionally abuses her, doesn’t let her pursue her passion for reading and travelling and isolates her from her friends and family. Deep down the beast is still an abusive monster who would expect her to give up all her dreams and settle in the castle.

20 years later: Belle ends up bruised and battered at a women’s shelter because of all the domestic abuse she’s suffered at the hands of the Beast.

Now had she been given the memo that you can never change a man, she wouldn’t be there in the first place.

Cinderella

All Cinderella wanted was someone to save her, without ever taking any initiative on her own — except weeping. After Prince Charming married our damsel in distress and helped her get away from the clutches of her evil step-sisters and stepmother, Cinderella gets to see a less delightful side of her Prince. The Prince had only married a commoner like her to annoy his parents who wanted a princess for him.

There are rooms in the castle filled with Cinderella-types from all over the world: Chinese, Japanese, Russian — you name it, Charming has it. Apparently, the Prince has a humanitarian streak — an addiction to saving helpless young women from all over the world. And he keeps them tucked away in his harem.

20 years later: Cinderella finally musters up the courage to take a decision on her own — after a messy break up and lots of backtracking, the divorce is finalised. The Fairy Godmother comes to her rescue yet again, and utilising the only talent Cinderalla has, helps her score a position at the nearby Holiday Inn. The Fairy Godmother also helps her make a maid’s outfit and Cinderella doesn’t bother with any fancy dresses or high strung men after that.

Snow White

Celebrated for her beauty and youth, Snow White reigns the land for years. Until she gets old and wrinkled — and is no longer the fairest of them all. Pretty soon, she becomes the exact duplicate of her stepmother — fanatical about her looks, opting for plastic surgeries, getting nip/tucks, lifts and snips . As for her complexion, no one cares anymore that she’s blindingly white — since everyone’s sporting a tan.

20 years later: She looks as altered and plastic as Katie Price. The worst thing is that her voice is still annoyingly youthful.

The Little Mermaid

Sebastian was right all along — life under the sea is much better. Poor Ariel discovers how boring people really are. She is also torn between longing for her friends and family under the sea and her compulsion to please the Prince and give in to his demands.

Having already gotten her mermaid’s tail changed to human legs, she sees nothing wrong with giving in to his other fancies. If the Prince admires a brunette, she dyes her hair, if he eyes a full bottomed gal, she schedules a cosmetic surgery.

20 years later: A raven haired, curvaceous Ariel with legs finally takes the plunge — she goes back to the sea where she truly belongs. Her last words: I can’t believe I did this for a man.

Jasmine

Jasmine realises the downside to marrying someone who’s not from the same social class as herself. What had been ’adventures’ before are mere inconveniences now. It also becomes increasingly clear that Aladin’s love for gold and riches trumps his love for her.

20 years later: Once Aladdin becomes in charge of his wife’s riches and the heir to the throne, his conniving and greedy side begins to show. Since Aladin’s never had to manage money responsibly, he doesnt know what to do now that he has loads of it. Soon after, he drives the once prospering Arabia down the drain with debt and corruption.

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Ms

en vogue

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

Jum

Deepak and Fahad give tailored menswear a futuristic spin while Ishtiaq Afzal shows you how to rock rompers. Sophisticated — and sometimes saucy — embellishments make these jumpsuits ultra feminine and wide leg pants make the style forgiving and wearable. Go for a classy yet cutting edge look.

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

p to it!

Coordination & styling: Umer Mushtaq Hair, make-up and grooming: Basit Ali Womens wear: Ishtiaq Afzal Menswear: Deepak and Fahad at DnF Photography: Fayyaz Ahmed Models: Amina Ilyas and Omer Shahzad

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Ms

like a boss

Like a Boss

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

by Madiha Khalid

Madiha Khalid is a serious HR profesWorried sional who test-drives because others all employee motivasteal your ideas? tional strategies on her two-year-old son Read on to find first. Read more from out why you Madiha Khalid on shouldn’t be. facebook.com/ Woesofaworkingwoman

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You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. (Tyler Durden — Fight Club) Who you are is a result of your experiences, exposure and interactions. Your work experience ensures that you already have a fair idea of what works and how. You may be a star performer but, let’s face it, not all ideas are earthshattering, groundbreaking and one-of-a-kind. Someone somewhere has probably done it already so be realistic in evaluating whether your ideas should carry a price tag. If you’re seen as somebody stingy with their ideas, you’re closer to a one-trick pony who has to protect its flair lest it gets copied by others. Be gracious and share freely so you can grow with the people around you.

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Picasso said, “Good artists copy; great artists steal” and Steve Jobs echoed the same sentiment when he said “We have always been shameless about stealing great ideas.” In the corporate world nothing is more heavily guarded than ideas. Whether it is at the workplace or at home — women often complain that either their ideas are undervalued or snapped up by others of both genders. Men may appropriate credit for your ideas because they may think that you, as a woman, are there simply to serve them and must be immediately subdued and conquered. Other women do it because they think this may be a short cut to the top of the ladder. Behind this is the competitive nature of both sexes at the workplace. If they could, they would patent, copyright and only give exclusive rights to their thoughts.

Recently a friend of mine went on a rant because her idea was seized by the loudest speaker in the boardroom, who actually said the same thing she did — just in different words. She agonised over this episode until she took a pen and actually started crossing out reasons why the bullhorn was successful and she was not. A few rounds later there was still no closure. If you can relate to her, consider my three reasons why you should stop worrying about people stealing your ideas before you start whining to your boss:

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The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. (Robert Frost) Whether or not you get the credit and recognition for your ideas, you should always look at the fact that it was taken up as a backhanded compliment. If it hadn’t been good enough in the first place it would never have been picked up. The thief’s stealing will soon run him/her into problems, either when the expectation is to whip up more ideas or during execution.

Remember, you can only be valuable if your ideas are supported by an implementation strategy; otherwise they are nothing more than dreams.

Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you’re finished. (Leslie Nielson) If you’re under the impression that your ideas are gems, and you decide to give only limited access to others, you lose an opportunity to test them. Not all your ideas will work. If you keep waiting for the right opportunity or wait until the master plan is ready, you lose out on the opportunity to test their viability early. If the idea fails, you won’t be the one to blame and with confidence you can scratch that gem off your list. The more you share the more it helps you develop ideas into plans and eventually actions. If, during this process, they get picked up or ‘stolen’, take it on the chin and know that there is more where that one came from and only you have access to this unlimited reserve.

words to the

wise

I have yet to come across a job that does not require varying degrees of creativity and innovation. Basically, we all get paid for the skills and ideas we bring to the workplace. Organisations and people cannot be successful if the battle revolves around who gets noticed and recognised for putting the best ideas on the table. In your career, you will meet many who can talk on end of time but you should aim to be one of those who know when to take action. Then, even if the ideas get hijacked midway, you will have differentiated yourself in the way you do things. If you are in a situation where you feel that your ideas always get stolen perhaps it’s time to reflect on how effectively you communicate and your visibility in the organisation.

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

in his head 7

Guys

The Guru How does the verdict of fashion experts tally up against the opinion of regular guys?

meet the boys Juggan: Someone as pretty as her should be faring much better, but here we go: The kurta is UGLY. Both the colour and the pattern bring the outfit down. Also looking like it has not been ironed doesn’t help her cause. The hair and make-up are very lack-lustre, a far cry from the uncontrived look she might be trying to achieve.

Essa Malik 28, is a graphic designer and photographer who likes all things beautiful. He is currently single.

Mehreen Syed: A very fresh and simple look, which she carries off with elegance. The shoes look utterly painful to wear but she carries them well.

Rachel: I’m not a fan of the colour combination. The black and the green are just fighting with each other and that brings the entire dress down. The make-up looks very plastic and it seems like she is trying really hard to get the Barbie look which does not suit her.

Juggan: Juggan always has a youthful look about her. However, this is not her best look, as the shirt is on the crumpled side and maybe a little too casual.

Taha Farrukh

28, plays the Xbox for a living and works as a Finance Advisor in his free time. A globe-trotter who samples all kinds of cuisines, but draws the line at escargots. He is married.

Mehreen Syed: She looks very pretty as usual, with her loose curls and natural make-up. Her clothes are simple and a very cool colour, which gives her a youthful look. Those shoes look painfully high however! I feel for her feet.

Rachel: Not much to comment on. The look is nothing to write home about and the dress could probably be from any other women’s clothing shop.

Juggan: What was the occasion? This dress reminds of the falooda I had yesterday. ‘Nuff said.

Shaheryar Popalzai 28, is a journalist by day and pseudo-punk by night. He is engaged.

Juggan Mehreen Syed Juggan: Okay, it’s official. Juggan Kazim needs a stylist. This pink spring-in-bloom effort just doesn’t become someone who is the brand ambassador for a beauty brand. Dress as you please when you’re off to school to pick up your child, but wearing something as frumpy as this kurta is just begging for the fashion police to hunt you down.

Mehreen Syed: No wow factor here, no double-take. The hair looks nice though.

Mehreen Syed: Model-turned-entrepreneur Mehreen Syed makes the perfect poster child for a cool sublime summer. In a virgin white and royal blue geometric pattern kameez that adheres to the upcoming trend of a higher hemline, she looks classic without a make-up or accessories overkill. Good job, MS!

Rachel: What was the point of the sleeves with this dress? Also, instead of that watch, maybe a bracelet would have been nice. The peep-toe shoes make her feet look trapped. LET THEM BREATHE.

Rachel: Model Rachel looks way too much like a Lahori aunty at a soiree. The drooping hemline has become quite passé with fashion insiders, if not with society at large, and the stark white watch clashes oddly with her black and green ensemble. Also the whole outfit drowns her fun personality and makes her look older than her years.

Rachel The Guru

Hani Taha has worked as a fashion journalist at The Express Tribune and is currently a graduate student at Syracuse University

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 30, 2012

hottie of the week 8 Status Single Birthday May 5 Horoscope Taurus

Who is he?

Tapu Javeri, ace celebrity/fashion photographer, budding entrepreneur, jewellery designer and radio jockey, is the boynext-door (and never mind the age) we all want to bake cookies for. He is the Mike Delfino of Pakistan and while the ladies can’t really go to him with their problems, they can skim Photography 101 just to have a brief conversation with Tapu. From judging the LSAs to launching three books and designing T shirts for Maheen Khan’s label Gulabo, Javeri has proven that he has the golden touch.

Face

90%

Talent

100%

Why he’s droolworthy His good boy looks paired with that devil-may-care stubble and that endearing, distinctive enunciation (that’s nothing dirty, we assure you) make us want to tattoo ‘caution: HOT!’ on his forehead.

That white-as-frosting complexion, ginger hair and sweet conduct triggers our sugar-craving. We’d like one Tapu Javeri with extra chocolate sauce, please!

We have fallen for the coyness this photographer shows in public gatherings. I mean, if we were as scrumptious as him we’d probably start charging people just to be around us but Tapu manages to be in the limelight without any Kardashianesque controversies to his credit.

But it’s his skill with the camera that seals the deal. We love a man who’s dexterous with equipment — we’re sure Tapu pushes all the right buttons. We’re ready for our close ups now.

His single status makes him appear tantalisingly available, but ladies, be warned, this man is “married to his line of work”.

Why he’s a keeper Besides being a photography demi-god and stupendously good at everything else he does, Tapu has incredible taste in music and could put on a song to match every mood. He’s one to focus on the positive, drawing inspiration for his work from “the loving and cultural side of my country” while ignoring the harsher side.

This hottie’s mantra — “life is long enough to do everything you desire” — means he’ll never give you a lame excuse for falling short on expectations. Tapu says his ideal woman is someone who “lives life to the fullest, never gets intimidated by anything, and follows her heart, not the Joneses.”

Tapu Javeri

Charisma

80%

Total Package

91%