OCTOBER 10-16 2010
A star is born
JUNE 13-19 2010
JUNE 13-19 2010
OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Cover Story 18 A Star is Born Aisamul Haq shows that talent can take you a long way
Feature 24 Spirits in the Valley Shamanic rituals in GIlgit-Baltistan 26 Superstar Rajinikanth What makes this South Indian actor so wildly popular?
Profile 30 A Veteran’s Tale A former British Indian sepoy shares his account of World War II
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Portfolio 32 Shock and Awe Zahrah Nasir looks at nature through a different lens
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Comment 42 Quack, Quack AA Shiekh on the state of the nation’s health
Review 38 What’s new in films and tv
Regulars 6 People & Parties: Out and about with beautiful people 16 Tribune Questionnaire: Annie on honesty 44 Horoscope: Shelley von Strunckel on your week ahead 46 Ten Things I Hate About: The Rishta Brigade
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Senior Sub-Editor: Nadir Hassan, Features Editor: Faiza S Khan, Sub-Editors: Batool Zehra, Hamna Zubair Creative Team: Amna Iqbal, Jamal Khurshid, Essa Malik, Anam Haleem, Tariq Alvi, S Asif Ali, Sukayna Sadik Publisher: Bilal A Lakhani. Executive Editor: Muhammad Ziauddin. Editor: Kamal Siddiqi. For feedback and submissions: magazine@tribune.com.pk Printed by: Yaqeen Art Press (Pvt.) Ltd., Karachi
JUNE 13-19 2010
PEOPLE & PARTIES
Beauty Bash The opening of Rukaiya’s salon in Karachi was attended by fans and well-wishers. 1. Frieha Altaf with Parishey 2. Rukaiya and Shamaeel Ansari 3. Umar Sayeed, Asad and Fauzia Tareen 4. Nadia Hussain 5. Ayaan with guests 6. Asim Qureshi and Beena Asim 7. Frieha and Fareshteh Aslam 8. Rukaiya with a guest 9. Arjumand Rahim 10. Fayeza Ansari.
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PEOPLE & PARTIES
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PEOPLE & PARTIES
Fun and Laughter Lahorites enjoyed comedian Sami Shah’s performance.
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PHOTO CREDIT: ORIGAMI
1. Rock band Laal with Sami Shah 2. Fatima and Afia 3. Saad, Shayan and Ali 4. Annie, Ambreen and Khuban 5. Mahvash and Sarah 6. Meher Mumtaz and Sehar Mumtaz 7. Meesha and Mahmood 8. Sanna and Fauzan 9. Ahmer 10. Imtisal
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PEOPLE & PARTIES
Mingling in Malaysia
Sir Richard Branson was the keynote speaker at the “Dawn of the New Decade� conference in Kuala Lampur. 1. Paticipants seated at the conference table 2. The Express Tribune publisher Bilal Ali Lakhani and Sir Richard Branson 3. Attendees at the conference 4. Sir Richard Branson shakes hands with an attendee
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OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Socialites’ Frontier Celebrities from across the border took time out of their busy schedules to pose for the camera.
1. Pakhi on the sets of Sab TV’s serial “Fire” 2. John Abraham on the set 3. Jaqueline promotes the Habitat for Humanity cause at Phoenix Mills 4. Shabana Azmi at a press event for Ek Jodi Kapada.
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“I still don’t have a license and rely on a driver which is shameful!” Pop star Annie on relating to Anne Frank, fighting for her dreams and wanting to be a belly dancer.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Perfect happiness is contentment within you, which comes from
The maternal love that a man can never understand.
able to forgive others and come to the realisation that love actu-
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
ally is the answer, that for me is perfect happiness.
Oh my gosh! Do you know what I mean? Yeah? LOL!
What is your greatest fear?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Losing the people I love.
Being a goodwill ambassador for the Red Cross.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would
I wish I could sometimes hold back instead of being so impulsive!
it be?
self-acceptance. If you’re truly able to be at one with your soul,
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
My mother.
People who lie... I hate liars. They ruin their image and then it’s
Where would you most like to live?
really hard to repair.
In NYC. It is hands down the best place on earth!
What is your greatest extravagance?
What is your most treasured possession?
I wish I could say my car but I still don’t have a license and rely on
All of my journals. I’ve been writing in a diary since I was eight
a driver which is shameful! So I’ll say my shoe collection. At first I was in denial, but now I’ve come to accept that I am obsessed with shoes!
What is your current state of mind? Tranquil. I’ve just done yoga and listened to music from the garden of Zen. I am in my zone.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
and I have every single one to date.
If you didn’t do your current job, what would you choose to do? I would be a belly dancer. Who is your hero of fiction? Jonny Bravo. He knows he’s hot and doesn’t realise or even care about the people around him!
Honesty is an overrated virtue simply because it’s always blown out
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
it’s our moral duty to be honest; it’s not an option.
when surrounded by people.
of proportion. We make such a big deal about it. As human beings
Anne Frank. Sometimes I feel completely alone and abandoned
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Who are your heroes in real life?
Honesty. An honest man is a confident man who isn’t afraid to
My parents. They have taught me everything I know and made
say what he thinks because he is that comfortable with himself.
me into a strong-willed individual with good ethics and morals.
On what occasion do you lie?
What’s your favorite quote?
I only lie when I feel the truth is going to hurt somebody.
“Fight for your dreams.’’
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
How many hours of loadshedding did you experience yesterday?
Nothing at all. I’m grateful for having a healthy body and appear-
None! It doesn’t happen in England. But when in Pakistan — yay
ance and wouldn’t change a thing.
for generators! a
OCTOBER 10-16 2010
17
COVER STORY
a star is born BY MOMINA SIBTAIN
APRIL 25- MAY 1 2010
COVER STORY
That Aisamul Haq Qureshi captured the hearts of Pakistanis is not a surprise. It only goes to show that dedication, vigour and passion — all of which Aisam has in spades — lead to success. As a child growing up in Lahore, Aisam dreamed of becoming a pilot. Instead, he ended up scaling the heights of the tennis world, becoming the first Pakistani to reach the final of a Grand Slam. Aisam, along with his partner Rohan Boppana, reached the
final of the US Open men’s doubles, losing in two tense tie-
breaks to the legendary Bryan brothers. A day earlier he had also reached the final of the mixed doubles. How did Aisam feel
playing before a capacity crowd at the daunting Arthur Ashe stadium in Flushing Meadows? “It was a dream come true but
I was also very nervous as I had never played in front of 15,000 people before.”
The journey to the heights of the tennis world was a long one
for Aisam. He came from a renowned tennis family — his mother
Nausheen Ihtisham was a 10-time national champion while his grandfather Khwaja Iftikhar was the undisputed champion in pre-Partition India.
Unlike most modern tennis stars, who are handed a racquet
before they can even walk, Aisam only took up tennis at the age of 13. Even then, it was only a hobby which he says he used
“My career is not contingent on my age. I feel I can perform much better now and I still have five to six years of professional tennis left in me.”
as an escape from homework. At first, tennis was a struggle.
He recalls losing 6-0, 6-0 in the first round of his very first tournament. That spurred a disheartened Aisam to push himself harder. Just four years after first picking up a racquet, Aisam
became Pakistan’s youngest ever grass court champion. Aisam’s game had progressed to such an extent that he became the
Asian number one and the world number seven in the juniors’
rankings. He even received a full tennis scholarship to study at Stanford University but decided to turn professional and make his living on the tour.
Tennis players are usually past their peak and approaching
retirement by the time they turn 30. Aisam, however, is just
getting started. As he explains, “Pakistan is not a tennis-playing country per se. In other countries, most professional tennis
players start training when they are as young as four years old, just like cricket and hockey players do here in Pakistan.” He
adds, “I personally feel that people from the subcontinent bloom later in life. For me, 30 is the new 20. I feel stronger now than I ever did in my twenties and my performance on the court has
19 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
COVER STORY
a breakthrough year
the indo-pak express in 2010
Nice Final €5,680
Bordeaux Quarter Final €545 Estoril Quarter Final €1,750 Australian Open 1st Round A$4,792 Tunis Quarter Final $800Quarter Final
Johannesburg Won $12,175 Dubai Round of 16 $3,035
Napoli Final €550
Tournament Result Prize money
20 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Casablanca Final €5,680
French Open Round of 32 €5,680
Halle
Round €545 of 16
Bordeaux Quarter Final €1,740
Hertogenbosch Quarter Final €1,750
Wimbledon Quarter Final €1,750 Los Angeles Semi Final $4,825
Washington, DC Semi Final $8,500
Wimbledon Quarter Final €1,750
New Haven Final $9,575
21 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
COVER STORY
significantly improved as I have matured. Therefore my career is
not contingent on my age. I feel I can perform much better now and I still have five to six years of professional tennis left in me.”
As heart-warming and surprising as Aisam’s late-career
resurgence has been, he always strived for more than just
excellence on the court. He has used his partnership with Indian Rohan Boppana to make the case for Indo-Pak peace. The self-
styled Indo-Pak Express greet visitors to their website with the
message “Stop war, start tennis.” And after losing to the Bryan brothers in the final of the US Open he gave a heartfelt speech on how he hoped his performance would show that there is more to Pakistan than just terrorism.
Aisam’s desire for peace and understanding transcends mere
rhetoric. He caused a furor in 2003 when he teamed up with Israeli Amir Hadad to play in the Wimbledon doubles. He was
denounced by his country’s own tennis federation which wanted
him to be banned. However, he stuck to playing with Hadad and forcefully condemned those who were using tennis as a wedge to
push their political agenda. When Aisam says, “Tennis has given me a way to make my parents proud of me and I wish to continue doing that” he shows that humility, grace and bucketloads of talent can take you a long way. a
22 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
742,033: dollars earned in his career 214,726: dollars earned in 2010 105: number of people Aisam has partnered with in doubles throughout his career 47: number of countries Aisam’s doubles partners have come from 22: his highest doubles ranking 125: his highest singles ranking 1: doubles titles won 6: doubles finals reached
FEATURE The cultural heritage of pre-Islamic philosophy and mythology is so interwoven into the mountainous Gilgit-Baltistan that strands of it survive to this day. Religions born of their
environments, the influence of
centuries of Shamanism, Bud-
koram and the Pamir mountains.
The
harmony
with
nature here is not merely common sense, nor gratitude for
the abundance around them, but a way of life handed down over time immemorial.
Research into Shaman my-
dhism, Baoism and Zartosht are
thology
tion with nature, where the word
oral and fragmentary written
seen most clearly in their interacworship
can
be
interchanged
with respect for and love of.
The historical imprints of some
spirits in the valley of these traditions can be seen in the Muslim mountain peoples of
Gilgit, Hunza-Nagar and Yasin valleys of the northern Himala-
BY SYED MUJAHID ALI SHAH
yas, the Hindukush and Kara-
has
been
patchily
conducted but, according to accounts, the story goes something like this; it is a religion
based on the concept of ‘Barayething’. Barayething were at
the top of the celestial ladder, thought to be innocent crea-
tures of unparalleled beauty who lived in the purest gla-
ciers and alpine forests that
had never been polluted by human hand. Only shaman, who held an exalted position within
their
communities,
were permitted contact with
these spirits. And being a shaman was neither a popularity contest nor a rite of inheri-
tance. These religious leaders were chosen for showing a
particular sensitivity to the
spirits. Legend has it that in his youth, a potential shaman
SEPTEMBER 5-11 2010
feels some physical as well as
further and more concentrat-
cal creatures around him and
rigorous diet more familiar to
by sightings of the metaphysilastly, he proves the shamanic
gift of prophesy. Even after this, there is an elaborate rite
of passage to follow. The pro-
cess begins with several stages
of meditation. Village people gather in a meadow, using music as a meditation aid,
lighting a juniper leaf, which
ed meditation and the sort of Hinduism, the practise of vegetarianism and veganism to purify the spirit and soul. As
the shaman finally achieves his full status as a practitioner, he is given a Zumus, a metal
ring to protect him from the wrath of the spirits.
Once fully inducted, the
releases a cloud of smoke,
shaman’s role in his com-
is to inhale. The music grows
counsel to his congregation,
which the potential shaman louder
and
louder,
resem-
bling certain Native American rites that induce a trance-like
state, and the shaman dances to it in mystical harmony. He takes flight, running towards
the purest form of nature he can find — pastures, glaciers
and rivers. He sings during his journey, his songs are made up of auguries, of omens, of answers to community problems. This is his communion
with the divine, he is their vessel of expression.
The end of the song is
marked by the sacrifice of a
goat, whose head is presented
munity is to provide spiritual
to wrest them away from evil
spirits in something resembling an exorcism, to provide reliable auguries of the future,
and most importantly, to in-
hale juniper smoke, perform the shamanic ritual, and enter again the trance-like state
which allows him and hence
his fellow village dwellers ac-
cess to the gods. A service he is commonly invited to perform,
as is the case with practitio-
ners of black magic who still operate through Pakistan, is the protection of families from their enemies and rivals.
The shamanic belief hinges
to the shaman. He is told to
on basic tenets, those of clean-
instrument
of water utilisation, the sus-
drink its blood, his body a mere to
convey
this
blood to the celestial spirits. This frenzy ends with the candidate losing consciousness as
his state changes. As he collapses to the ground in an ex-
hausted stupor, he is awoken with drops of water and reILLUSTRATION: S JAMAL K
His further training involves
psychological pain, followed
awakes. He has achieved the
first state of transformation and has successfully take the
first step towards mastering his art.
liness and harmony, the ethics
tainable use of resources and a general purity of environment.
Cleanliness is not to them second to godliness, it is godli-
ness. These beliefs which are no longer associated to their
religious origins but merely to
the extreme necessity to preserve one’s living space, which
is a primary global concern are receding at the time they are needed most. a
SEPTEMBER 5-11 2010
FEATURE
superstar
Jackie Chan is the highest-paid actor in Asia, and that makes sense. Besides producing, directing, and starring in his own action movies since 1980, he’s earned millions in Hollywood with blockbusters like Rush Hour and The Karate Kid. But the number two spot goes to someone who doesn’t make any sense at all. The second-highest-paid actor in Asia is a balding, middle-aged man with a paunch, hailing from the Indian state of Tamil Nadu and sporting the kind of moustache that went out of style in 1986. This is Rajinikanth, and he is no mere actor — he is a force of nature. If a tiger had sex with a tornado and then their tigernado baby got married to an earthquake, their offspring would be Rajinikanth. Or, as his films are contractually obligated to credit him, “SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth!”
rajinikanth! The biggest movie star you’ve probably never heard of BY GRADY HENDRIX
If you haven’t heard of Rajinikanth before, you will on Octo-
ber 1, when his movie Enthiran (The Robot) opens around the world.
It’s the most expensive Indian movie of all time. It’s getting the widest global opening of any Indian film ever made, with 2,000
prints exploding onto screens simultaneously. Yuen Wo-ping
(The Matrix) did the action, Stan Winston Studios (Jurassic Park) did
creature designs, George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic did the effects, and Academy Award-winning composer AR Rahman
(Slumdog Millionaire) wrote the music. It’s a massive investment, but the producers fully expect to recoup that, because this isn’t just some film they’re releasing; this is a Rajinikanth film.
At 61 years old, Rajinikanth has made more than 150 movies
in India, and he isn’t even a proper Bollywood star. He works in
the Tamil film industry, Bollywood’s poorer Southern cousin, best-known for its ace cinematographers and gritty crime dramas. But whereas Bollywood stars may have devoted fans, Rajinikanth is considered beyond reproach, beyond criticism, beyond good or bad. Ask Bolly-fans about their favorite stars, and
they’ll spout the typical griping — Hrithik is a little boy, Shah Rukh Khan is spoiled, Amitabh Bachchan wears a toupee — but mention Rajinikanth, and their eyes light up. He is so rich, he
26 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
does so many good deeds, his films are all number one superhits. Rajinikanth is not just some filmstar, they insist. Rajinikanth is a “real man.”
Indian message boards are alight with Rajinikanth jokes, the
equivalent of Chuck Norris jokes. (“Rajinikanth was bitten by a
cobra. After four days of intense suffering, the snake died.”) Onscreen, when Rajinikanth points his finger, it’s accompanied by
the sound of a whip cracking. When he becomes enraged, the director cuts to a shot of a gorilla pounding his chest or inserts
a tiger roaring on the soundtrack. Echo is added to enhance his “punch dialogues,” rhyming lines uttered at moments of high drama. “When I will arrive, or how I will arrive, nobody will know, but I will arrive when I ought to,” he snarls, confusingly. Or, “I will do what I say. I will also do what I don’t say.” Then he punches some goon so hard that he flies through the windshield of a minivan and continues on out the back window. Can’t argue with that. Rajinikanth’s
movies
are
crammed with comedy, action, and musical numbers (usually by AR Rahman), and they take great delight in kicking narrative logic in the face. Chandramukhi (2005) sees Rajinikanth play a psychiatrist so well-trained
he can read minds based on a person’s facial expression. The movie starts with a a
marriage,
becomes
haunted-house
drama,
pauses for a musical number
in which hundreds of kites
spell out “Superstar” in the sky, and then concludes with Rajinikanth fighting a half-naked
martial-arts master on the roof
during a fireworks display while
hundreds of doves flap around.
It broke Tamil box-office records,
was the longest-running Tamil mov-
ie of all time — playing for 800 days
at one theatre — and became a cult hit in Germany under the title Der Geisterjäger. When Rajinikanth is around, the
camera spirals, dips, dives, and
27
soars during the most banal
OCTOBER 10-16 2010
FEATURE
dialogue scenes while the cinematographer works the zoom lens like a trombone. The editing is hy-
perkinetic with Rajinikanth thrashing thugs so fast that you don’t even see how he hits them. All of his movies are named after his character,
and every single one of them starts with a mu-
sical number in which he introduces himself in
the most insane way possible. In the first scene
of Padayappa (1999), he’s asked, “Hey man, who
are you?” and his answer is a four-minute musi-
cal number in which he plays the harmonica, flips through the air, oversees a massive martial-arts demonstration, and then morphs into a baby.
At the end, the village chief says, “Padayappa, that song was excellent,” at which point the music revs up again, Rajinikanth climbs
a 30-foot-tall human tower and smashes open a clay pot, fireworks explode, and the director’s credit flies out of it.
But as ridiculous as Rajinikanth is, he’s
also in on the joke. In Sivaji: The Boss (2007)
he’s a software engineer returning from overseas
to battle political corruption and Wall Street-style
fatcats. From a fight in a music store in which Ma-
trix-esque bullet timing allows him to bash five miscreants with a guitar then do a series of dance steps before they hit the floor,
to a musical number in front of the Guggenheim Bilbao in which Rajinikanth, in whiteface, sings: “I had a dark complexion then/ Now I am awesomely white!” the whole movie is a combination
of fist-pumping populism and wink-at-the-audience masculine camp.
And that’s what Rajinikanth offers his audiences: style. The
Superstar doesn’t just mop his brow with a towel; he flourishes it like a bullfighter. Putting his sunglasses on is an operation as complex as a Vegas floorshow. His action scenes are so man-
nered that they’re like watching a new form of macho Kabuki.
As one song about him proclaims, “Your gait is stylish/ Your look is stylish/ Your thunderous action is stylish/ Whatever you do is stylish.” While Bollywood movies, more and more, copy Hollywood conventions and morals, Rajinikanth stays respectful to
his parents, chaste with the ladies, and firmly on the side of the little guy.
As Bollywood movies drop choreographed musical numbers
in favor of MTV-style montages, Rajinikanth stays committed to old-school masala filmmaking. He’s “exuberant, mesmerising, and victorious,” as one lyric says about him, but he’s also an unreconstructed Indian, a homegrown hero who will never
go Hollywood. A Rajinikanth movie without his “SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth!” billing, without his crazy-making opening number, without his fingers pointing like whips, without the world’s
most complicated plot, without the dshoom dshoom of him
punching giant thugs into exploding electrical lines — that’s just not a Rajinikanth movie at all.
Laugh at him all you like, but on October 1 Rajinikanth is go-
ing to play a robot onscreen in Enthiran, and it’s going to gross all the money in the world. Because Rajinikanth, like a Tamil Nadu
Cyrano de Bergerac, is the epitome of manly Indian style and, like Cyrano, when he finally goes to his grave, he’ll cling to the one
thing they can’t take away from him, the one thing that has mattered most to him in his life: his panache. NYT Syndication Services a
PROFILE
a veteran’s tale A former sepoy remembers his World War II experiences BY OBAID UR REHMAN ABBASI
Tucked away in a small village in Abbottabad, an old man reclines on a charpoy puffing on a cigarette, lost in thought. Former sepoy Mirza is narrating the events of a fateful day in
the 1940s in Burma, where he was injured during Word War II. The memory of the nightmarish offensive that nearly cost him
his life is still fresh in Mirza’s mind, and he recounts his experience in astonishing detail. “Japanese forces were shelling one of the British Indian Army’s advance parties. No one could see
anything except dust, flames, smoke, and the bodies of dozens
30
of dead soldiers!” Mirza says. OCTOBER 10-16 2010
“The enemies killed all my fellow soldiers, 13 jawans, but I
was feeling cold.”
“Mirza is the eldest of three brothers, and claims to be at least 105 years old. His 85-year-old brother Nazar Mohammad who lives nearby says Mirza is about 20 years older than him. Amazingly, Mirza still displays a spark of the bravado that helped him wrangle his way into the Indian army despite being over-age.”
105 years old. His 85-year-old brother Nazar Mohammad who
to do something for me, they can provide clean drinking water
ingly, Mirza still displays a spark of the bravado that helped him
His only other grievance is that all his friends from his army days
didn’t lose heart. I was one of the lucky ones — I came out alive.” Mirza was hit by shrapnel during the battle, which injured his right leg, arm and forehead. The scars of his wounds are still visible on his wrinkled face. “I was taken to the hospital for treatment, where I stayed for three weeks,” he adds. “But after that I went back to the front lines and stayed there till the end of the war.”
Mirza is one of the few veterans of World War II alive today.
He enrolled in the British-led Indian Army in 1941, and contin-
ued to serve the Queen, and then Pakistan, until 1957. Along with other Indians, Mirza comprised the sizable force that helped the Allies battle the Axis forces in areas like Italy, North Africa, Syria and Burma between 1939 and 1945.
Today, Mirza lives with two sons and a daughter in Ghooni, a
sub-village of union council Nagri Tootial. Mirza is relatively famous — everyone in Nagri Tootial has either heard of him or met
him. “I usually go to the market every morning and come back in the evening,” Mirza explains. “But I didn’t go today because I Mirza is the eldest of three brothers, and claims to be at least
lives nearby says Mirza is about 20 years older than him. Amazwrangle his way into the Indian army despite being over-age.
He was 24 when he attempted to join the army, and was re-
and a hospital to my village. We don’t have these facilities here.” have passed away and he has no one to share his memories with. But all in all Mirza has a sunny approach to life, which he takes
jected at first for being too old. “However, due to the intercession
one day at a time. “I don’t sleep, talk, or eat much, and I never in-
Rehman Khan, I was considered again and selected,” Mirza says.
health,” he confides. “The only bad habit I have is smoking. But
of an important personality in our village, Khan Bahadur Abdul Soon after he joined the army, Mirza’s regiment was moved to
the front lines and thrust into the thick of the action. Mirza thoroughly enjoyed his time with the armed forces despite the dan-
terfere in the affairs of others. These are the secrets of my perfect believe me I have never ever borrowed a cigarette from anybody in all my life.”
Mirza seems to love the little pleasures in life, and may have
ger. He developed close relationships with his fellow soldiers and
been a bit of a dandy in his youth. He still proudly wears a wrist-
the names of two gora officers. One was Smith and the other was
Calcutta. He insists the watch has never needed repairs. “At that
officers, many of whom he can easily recall today. “I can recall
called Gipp. Both were very good, cooperative officers,” he adds. “We travelled a lot inside and outside Hindustan with the army and enjoyed ourselves a lot.”
watch made by the West End Watch Company that he bought in time everything was original. Today nothing is original. Fraud can be seen everywhere,” he says knowledgeably.
Ever vigilant, the former soldier still keeps a close eye on his
Mirza participated in the Burma campaign, the treacherous
motherland’s defence — via radio. He believes that most of Paki-
keen to display the three medals he was awarded by the British
the US. Talking about the situation in Afghanistan, Mirza says:
war fought between Britain, China and the US and Japan. He is
government after the campaign, during which he suffered his injuries.
One of Mirza’s few regrets is that his name was not included in
a list of veterans of World War II prepared by the British Govern-
ment a few years ago. “I fought bravely and was awarded medals but the goras have not recognised my services,” he says sadly. “At
this age I can’t beg for a reward,” he adds, “but if the British want
stan and Afghanistan’s current problems have been caused by “Believe me, they [the US] cannot win against the tribal leaders... they are hard to beat. We have witnessed that in days of the British, when despite heavy arms and ammunition we could not defeat them. Negotiations for peace are the only answer.”
However, distant as he is from his combative past, Mirza
knows where his loyalties lie. “Whatever the army is doing is in the best interest of Pakistan!” he says. a
OCTOBER 10-16 2010
31
PORTFOLIO
shock and awe PHOTOGRAPHY & TEXT BY ZAHRAH NASIR
Without regular exposure to
beauty, the spirit withers and dies.
The natural world, for those
who care to open their senses,
is a lyrical, living rhythm of
dance and song: there is both music and movement in rustling leaves, an unparalleled ballet in a butterfly’s wings
and an entire harmonic sym-
phony in flowers as they bud, blossom and eventually create a burgeoning dream of a fruitful future.
It is this fragile beauty which
I attempt to catch through the
lens of my camera and yes, in
this particular portfolio, natu-
ral colours have been altered or enhanced in the hope of attracting the attention of those who would not otherwise take
the time to examine the intricate glories unfurled by flowers, leaves and insects.
It is not that I have attempt-
ed to improve on the incredibly rich palette which nature uses but have tried inveigling repressed
optical
instincts
to awaken and rejoice in the
everyday beauty so often ig-
nored. Call it ‘shock and awe’ tactics if you like! a
32 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Orchids
Cauliflower
33 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
PORTFOLIO
Seed head
Rose
Datura seed pod
Persimmons
34 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Cabbages
Daisy and grasshopper
35 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
PORTFOLIO
Daisies
Clematis
Agastache
Rannunculus
36 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Datura
37
Datura seed pod OCTOBER 10-16 2010
REVIEW
featured review of the week
tv season to grieve BY NADIR HASSAN
The fall TV season is only two weeks old and it is already clear that this year will be far from vintage. After serialised dramas like “Heroes” burned brightly for a season before crashing spectacularly, the networks have decided to play it safe. Instead of taking a risk with dramas that require viewer immersion and patience, this season is conspicuous by the absence of risky shows. None of that shows that debuted this fall will be the new “Lost” but there are plenty of shows that follow the hackneyed path of procedurals like “Law and Order” and “CSI”. Amid the gloom, though, we can always rely on HBO for creativity. That comes in the form of “Boardwalk Empire” which got such impressive ratings it was immediately renewed for a second season. In its two episodes so far, the ensemble cast, particularly Steve Buscemi and Michael K Williams, has shown the chemistry that is essential to all long-running shows. “Boardwalk Empire” may not have the most original origins — its mobster theme is reminiscent of “The Sopranos” and the portrayal of 1930s Atlantic City takes a cue from the period sets of “Deadwood”. But with Martin Scorcese as an executive producer and some of the snappiest dialogue around, “Boardwalk Empire” is the undoubted breakthrough of the season. Then there are those shows which are not terrible per se but are a huge disappointment given the pedigree behind them. Mitch Hurwitz will forever be known for being the brains behind “Arrested Development” which had more and funnier jokes and better characters than just about any comedy ever made. Think “Blackadder” on steroids and you begin to get an idea of its comic genius. Hurwitz came up with “Running Wilde” this fall, which tells the story of an obnoxious heir and the servants he torments. Two “Arrested Development” alumni, Will Arnett and David Cross star, but they can’t save the show, which has a few laughs but no heart. JJ Abrams is another showrunner who rarely misses. Whatever 38 flaws they may have had, “Lost”, “Alias” and “Fringe” are among OCTOBER 10-16 2010
old wine, new bottle The mobster theme in “Boardwalk Empire” is reminiscent of “The Sopranos” and its portrayal of Atlanta City takes a cue from “Deadwood”
The five worst shows this season 1. Outlaw 2. Bleep My Dad Says 3. Big Lake 4. Haven 5. Chase
the most challenging to follow TV series ever. His latest venture “Undercovers” is the polar opposite. Instead of an unwieldy cast, sprawling storylines and plenty of sci-fi madness, Abrams has gone for conventionality. The story of bickering law-enforcement partners who finally realise they’re meant for each other has been done many times before. It now needs to be euthanised before yet another show can spit on the memory of “Moonlighting”, which was the undeniable peak of this genre. The disappointing new shows this season wouldn’t be quite so infuriating if there were lots of quality shows returning in the fall. But with “Lost” and “24” having ended their runs and “Breaking Bad” on hiatus till next summer, there really isn’t much worth watching. “The Office” and “30 Rock” are well past their sell-by dates and need to be put out of their unfunny misery. There is a fear that the two break-out hits of last season “Modern Family” and “Community” will suffer a sophomore slump. After a decade of quality television has spoiled us for choice, it’s time to be afraid. We may have to go back to watching movies. OCTOBER 10-16 2010
39
REVIEW
film deadly dull BY BATOOL ZEHRA
You would assume that a movie that aims to be the ultimate action flick can’t possibly be much worse than those spawned at the height of the action genre in the eighties. At worst, you could get brainless, campy, violent entertainment, and The Expendables is brainless, campy and violent — but it is also a dreadful bore. No one should know more about action movies than director Sylvester Stallone and his cast of carefully assembled action stars but The Expendables misses the opportunity to say something essential about the genre. Despite the deafening explosions and oodles of gore, it is a severely underwhelming experience, lacking the enthusiasm to even be a decent action feature. It is one of those unfortunate movies that, despite being consistently bad, is never so sublimely bad that it becomes good. Stallone plays Barney Ross, the ringleader of a group of hired guns, The Expendables, which includes blades expert Lee Christmas (played by Jason Statham, upon whom falls the grave duty of providing the eye candy in this cast of aging veterans), martial artist Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) and Toll Road (Randy Couture). Given a contract to take down the dictatorship of General Graza in the fictional South American island of Vilena, Barney and Lee go on a reconnaissance mission. Barney is smitten by General Graza’s daughter Sandra, an idealistic revolutionary who puts her life at risk by refusing to leave the island with them. The mission goes awry and Barney and Lee barely escape with their lives. Back home, The Expendables agree that it is too risky to continue and call off the contract. Then, in a sentimental reversal entirely at odds with his chosen line of work and his personal machismo, Barney is deeply affected by a teary speech on tainted ideals delivered by Tool (Mickey Rourke), his tattoo artist, and decides to go back to Vilena, essentially to rescue Sandra. The story — essentially a rehash — is simplistic, but the chaotic 40 direction muddles even the most straightforward developments, OCTOBER 10-16 2010
making this movie painful to follow. The fight sequences were particularly mystifying, as one could not make out what was happening. The screenplay is, simply put, pointless, and the actors often speak like dull toddlers who don’t know how to use their words, as this exchange between Barney and Gunner illustrates. Gunner: “Think I’ll need stitches?” Barney: “Maybe.” Gunner: “I hate stitches.” Barney: “Everyone does.” The high point of the movie is the scene which briefly unites Stallone with action stalwarts Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. Willis is Church, a CIA spook, and Schwarznegger is Barney’s rival. This is the closest The Expendables comes to self-reflection and provides a delicious reflexive moment which is not fully exploited. A boring, ill-conceived film, The Expendables runs on machismo but banks on sentimentality, not just the sentimentality in the movie, but of those fans of the genre who yearn for the unsophisticated blood and gore of the 80s.
film sleeping sickness BY FAIZA S KHAN
At one point, the newfangled Freddie Krueger, a molten mess, with a penchant for limp one-liners, taunts his next victim with the sentence, “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep!” It was a directive I was unable to follow, nodding off, as I did, several times during this infantile remake of the genre-defining horror classic A Nightmare on Elm Street. Hollywood’s incestuous relationship with its past, the stock it places in remakes, the way its list of priorities reads, “large budgets and small ideas”, is only going to get worse with the terror of recession. Risk-averse studio executives must be the only people on earth who do more recycling than radical environmentalists. As such, it was inevitable that the insomnia-inducing Wes Craven slasher was going to find at the mercy of nervous executives eager to repackage it for a younger generation. The new version is an insult to a cine-goer’s intelligence, even if the intended cine-goer is American, young, dumb and raised on reality TV. The premise, which is simple enough, is that Freddie Krueger, a mystery man in a striped sweater with blades bound to his hands, is able to enter dreams, thereby doing away with the pesky problem of existing, in turn, doing away with the pesky problem of being stoppable. His preferred targets are teenagers (and why not, who amongst us doesn’t enjoy watching high school-ers being eviscerated?), whose only defence is to stay awake. The film thereby offers a host of scenarios blurring the lines between reality and dream, throwing off the viewer and amping up the suspense. At least this was what Wes Craven did with his original. Watching it side by side with this one then, becomes a great exercise in observing just how terrible a director Samuel Bayer is. This remake appears to have no coherent storyline, we don’t know why this man is after these teenagers, we aren’t even clear as to their relationships with each other. The director rushes from one murder to another, blithely indifferent to the fact that killing off characters whom the audience hasn’t been given time to relate to is a fairly pointless exercise. Would you squirm more if you saw
soporific This remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street works better than a Valium a random blonde being sliced into ribbons, or if you saw one whose hopes and fears you could sympathise with? Yes, I thought as much. As appalling is the way this version has picked and chosen as if from a buffet, some characters and sequences from the Craven original, and strung them together without narrative logic. Some memorable set pieces, the girl ripped apart and dragged across the ceiling, the girl falling asleep at school and following her friend walking down the corridor in a body bag, reappear here, slicker, more expensive but not even mildly scary, nor even entertaining. The original had people fighting off sleep, this one works better than a Valium. a 41 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
COMMENT
quack
quack! BY AA SHAIKH
You must have seen his name in bold, lurid Urdu script splattered on walls and banners all across the city’s derelict, congested quarters. And his face
ones. He gaudily advertises his cure for female infertility and
beard, the cheesy grin. He doesn’t look like someone you’d en-
advanced German technology, the prescription is just a tad ex-
too: the scraggly, swept back hair, the brushy moustache-and-
trust your health with, but appearances can be so deceptive. His
ads run on the local TV cable too: you see a series of stills depict-
conceive male children in no time, just as long as you regularly
use his medications. Concocted using ethereal incantations and pensive, but highly effective. Just try it.
His repertoire of therapies doesn’t end here. Terminal liver
ing his gracious, therapeutic poses with the various “patients”
disease? He’d make your liver live again. Diabetes? He’d beat it
whatever pirated, blurry, sleazy movie the local cable channel
twisted spines, tormented intestines: his elixirs can fix them
who throng his “clinic”; or else you see a rolling strip under happens to be running at the time.
He is an accomplished homoeopath, hakim, faith-healer,
herbalist and marriage consultant all rolled into one. The absolute and biggest know-all, cure-all authority on health matters in the country. Or so his adverts would have you believe. His range of therapeutic prowess is astonishing: kidney stones? no problem, he can eliminate them without ever touching your
tummy or knowing what exactly a kidney is. Perennial constipation? Flatulence? You’d be rid of those with just a weeklong
course of his arcane and divinely blessed medication. Same goes for piles: forget surgeries, the mixture of herbal and spiritual
anointments he’d prescribe for your nether regions would remove any anomaly that dare rear its head.
Then, of course, he’s the perfect consultant for all posheeda
out of your system. Hepatitis, cancer, pyorrhoea, leucorrhoea, all. Lately, owing to his huge popularity, he’s secured a late-
night slot on a local TV channel. He expounds his arcane theories and therapeutics—“just two drops of this solution and your
blood cells would quiver and tell each other: we can beat this virus!” — fields live questions and offers discounted, home-deliv-
ered products to all callers. You can SMS him, email him, write
him a letter. For a considerable amount of well-spent money, you can even have him make a house call. His credentials and
expertise are indubitable. He’s a Gold Medallist, his promos tell
you, and one presumes that wasn’t at the Olympics. Plus, most importantly, he caters to an exquisite and highly reliable clientele. He is, in fact, an erstwhile physician to the Prime Minister, or so his banners claim in garish letters.
With experts like him around, the nation’s state of health
matters. He’d detect masculine insufficiency in you even if you
can never be in doubt. His clinic is always packed, a sure sign
homoeopathically proven, would make you rise to all necessary
medical care. One only hopes there are more professionals like
never knew you had it. His potent cure, divinely sanctified and
42
male-childlessness and exhorts all ladies to try it; he’d have you
occasions. And of course he can deliver you babies (not in the literal sense, though) if you’ve never had any. Specially male OCTOBER 10-16 2010
that our populace recognises the value of good health and sound him, and that our health departments continue to do nothing about it. a
JUNE 13-19 2010
HOROSCOPE BY SHELLEY VON STRUNCKEL
Aries March 20 – April 19 While you’ve often complained that
others rely on you far too much, now that they’re undertaking certain tasks on their own, you’re feeling left out. Actually, as these are really their responsibility, they should be tackling them solo. And, in truth, the reason you’re annoyed could be
because you’ve just lost your excuse to avoid certain pressing but deeply uninteresting practical or financial matters.
Taurus April 20 – May 20 Recently you’ve often felt you had far
too much to deal with. So, ironically, you’re likely to welcome the slowdown that accompanies your ruler Venus’s retrograde Shelley von Strunckel is an internationally acclaimed astrologer who created the first horoscope column for the London Sunday Times in 1992.
cycle, which lasts until mid-November. Unlike Mercury’s period
of reverse moment, this is more personal and far more reflective. What you learn about others and, more importantly, yourself, will resolve past issues and clear the path to future progress.
A frequent lecturer, she writes daily, weekly and monthly horoscopes in publications around the world including South China Morning Post, The Gulf News, Tatler, French and Chinese Vogue and now The Express Tribune Magazine.
Gemini May 21 – June 20 While you’ve some wonderful things go-
ing on in your life, concentrating on them is a real battle. True,
you’ve certain obligations. The real problem, however, is tuning out the relentless and often unmerited complaints of others. If
they can’t be ignored, give them five minutes of concentrated
sympathy, then tell them you’ve other things to do. This seems tough, but is your only method of escape.
Cancer June 21 – July 21 You’ve reached the halfway point in a lengthy, demanding and ultimately profitable cycle of review and change. This involves the structure of your life at home and
out in the world and, as much, questions about who you can
trust. What you’ve already learned has resulted in a fundamen-
tal shift in your priorities. However, what surfaces this week and next will be of as substantial significance.
Leo July 22 – August 22 The knowledge that you’re about to clear up numerous misunderstandings may not excite you. However,
once you’re actually in the process of tackling these issues, you’ll be amazed the degree to which certain undiscovered twists have
caused confusion or even emotional upset. Similarly, as you talk things over, you’ll realise how confused others have been by about certain of your own words and actions.
Virgo August 23 – September 22 Ordinarily you’re good at keep-
ing on top of various obligations and financial matters. But even
you have been overwhelmed recently. So you’ll be relieved that with your ruler Mercury, the Sun and Saturn all accenting ex-
actly such issues, events are giving you good reason to give these priority. While you could be in for a few surprises, this is your chance to get things organised.
44 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
Libra September 23 – October 22 Take advantage of the reflective mood triggered by the recent Libra New Moon and give serious
thought to what’s working in your life and what isn’t. You’ve
ignored many of the latter, often very worrying, situations simply because you didn’t know what to do or say about them. The
irony is, admitting there’s something wrong is a vital first step to putting things right.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21 It would be easy to confuse recent enforced changes with other situations that threaten to
introduce a certain amount of upheaval into your life, yet are
promising. Happily, you’ve time to explore these, enough that should they become a more permanent feature, you’ll be comfortable with them. If you begin to investigate these, you can do it without the pressure to have to make hasty decisions.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 20 Accept that certain situa-
tions are, quite simply, not yours to deal with and instead strug-
gling with them, you’ll focus on other matters. True, you’ve been avoiding the latter because they’re so tedious. Ironically, once you’re involved, you realise they’re actually as informative
as they are worthwhile. More important, they’ll prepare you for
the powerful cycle that begins with Mars’ move into Sagittarius in three weeks’ time.
Capricorn December 21 – January 19 As unsettling as recent ex-
changes regarding certain important personal matters and more
worldly arrangements were, now that you’ve had time to reconsider them, you’re grateful for what you learned. And, in some cases, you’re rethinking your priorities. This is well timed – not
only in terms of your objectives, but this ensure you’re prepared
to deal with the sudden changes in circumstances coming your way.
Aquarius January 20 – February 17 Perplexing as the situations you’re currently contending with are, deal with them as swiftly as you can and put them behind you. True, this could mean
making compromises. But when the seriously intriguing dilem-
mas promised by brilliant planetary activity at the end of the week begin to appear, you’ll be both delighted - and relieved that nothing can prevent you focusing on these, and these alone.
Pisces February 18 – March 19 While you’d have every right to complain that what you’ve been dealing with is unfair, com-
plain if you must then put it all behind you. By midweek you’ll recognise that there’s a very real change in both the attitude of certain individuals and in what’s appearing in your life. If, initially, you’re wary, by midmonth you’ll be confident that the
For more information, to order personal charts and to download & listen to detailed audiocasts, visit www.shelleyvonstrunckel.com
tide’s turning your way.
45 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
THE HATER
10 things I hate about ...the rishta brigade
1 2 3 4 5
The last-minute phone call. The plain, boiling anger that erupts in the pit of my stomach when I am informed by my “I-am-not-asking-I-am-telling” mother
that she has received a call from a very close cousin of the sister of a teacher who used to work at her school five years back. Cosy, no?
Rishta Karanay Wali Aunties (RKWAs). The neatly-
stacked application forms would have you believe that
you are simply filling out your particulars for a job in-
terview but all the while they are closely watching how you speak with your khala. My own friend’s prospec-
tive bride was instantly rejected by the RKWA when the electricity went out and she uttered a mild expletive.
RKWAs again. Why, oh why, has she sent more ogling larkay-walay at your doorstep when your father clearly
warned her that the last family was still being consid-
ered. Did she really think what he meant was, “Even if
I politely ask for some time, keep sending people to our house to make my daughter uncomfortable.”
The larkay-walay. They can number anywhere from
two to 20, depending upon their “khandani shara-
fat” (no more than three persons) or the “paitoo kind” (more than 10)...which brings me to the next point.
BY SADAF UMAIR
6 7 8 9 10
The butterflies — no, too beautiful an insect — the moths in one’s stomach before the larkay walay come to
see you. A movie dialogue aptly sums it up: “Woh aa ke
kahain gay, hans kay dikhao, chal kay dikhao, bol kay dikhao...aur mujhay yeh sub karna paray ga!” Sigh.
The larka. Good God, did I die and go to hell? Surely,
this must be the much older, already-married brother of the larka that the RKWA was telling us about? Last time I checked, my application form did not insure me
against the cardiac condition that is making its way up
my left arm while the larka sits across and darts quick glances my way when he thinks no one is looking.
The feeling that you are being watched starts the minute you put your high heels on the green carpet/shaadi
lawn. This is your sixth sense, and it lets you know that sooner or later some auntie will come up to you and
start asking biting personal questions that will leave
you seething, or better yet, she will go directly to your mother.
And they were never heard from again. Courtesy is
probably too hard a word to pronounce for the larka-walas who vaccuumed the hi-tea that you served. I don’t
know what is more painful though: the call that never comes or the one that does, just to say, “Hamain aap ki larki pasand nahi aaee.”
The appetite of the larkay-walay. What is this, people?
An all-you-can-eat buffet? If you are all so busy stuffing your faces with the ceremoniously prepared and laid out food, who is doing the “larki daikhna”?
46 OCTOBER 10-16 2010
The experience just sticks with you. Even after getting
married, I still get shivers when I hear that someone is coming to somebody else’s home to see the larki. a
JUNE 13-19 2010
JUNE 13-19 2010