The Express Tribune Magazine - September 19

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

Last roll of the dice

Sports betting is responsible for the match-fixing scandal. It may also provide the only solution

JUNE 13-19 2010

JUNE 13-19 2010

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

Cover Story 14 Last Roll of the Dice Is there any solution to the match-fixing crisis?

Feature 18 The Inescapable Web The changing face of privacy online

Profile 20 A Simple Plan Khao Suey king Rayyan Durrani on his success

Portfolio

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24 A Thousand Points of Light Aisha Saeed explores her city in a new light

Up North & Personal 34 The Apples of My Eye Zahrah Nasir goes on a bartering spree

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Comment 23 The Bright Side of Pakistani Cricket Things are looking up for our national team

Review 30 What’s new in films and books

Regulars 6 People & Parties: Out and about with beautiful people 12 Tribune Questionnaire: Veena Malik on her good looks 36 Horoscope: Shelley von Strunckel on your week ahead 38 Ten Things I Hate About: Angelina Jolie

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Magazine Editor: Nadir Hassan, Features Editor: Faiza S Khan, Sub-Editors: Batool Zehra, Hamna Zubair Creative Team: Amna Iqbal, Jamal Khurshid, Essa Malik, Anam Haleem, Tariq Alvi, S Asif Ali, Sukayna Sadik Publisher: Bilal A Lakhani. Executive Editor: Muhammad Ziauddin. Editor: Kamal Siddiqi.

For feedback and submissions: magazine@tribune.com.pk Printed by: Yaqeen Art Press (Pvt.) Ltd., Karachi

JUNE 13-19 2010

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Shiny Happy People

The launch of Maheen Khan’s Gulabo in Karachi lifted spirits 1. Ayesha Omar 2. Maheen Khan and a guest 3. Mohsin Sayeed 4. Models Koni, Saima and Amna posed as mannequins 5. Photographer Amean J 6. Nadia Hussain 7. Deepak Perwani wearing Gulabo 8. Maheen Khan, Frieha Altaf and Saima Mohsin 9. Rizwanullah 10. Samar Mehdi 11.

Feeha Jamshed 12. Umar Sayeed 13. Fareshteh Aslam 14. Maheen talks to the media 15. Mahin Hussain 16. Saima.

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JUNE 13-19 2010

PEOPLE & PARTIES

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PEOPLE & PARTIES

Bollywood Happenings

Stars across the border were busy attending fashion shows and screenings this week

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PHOTO CREDIT: IANS

1. Sushmita Sen on Day 3 of Blenders Tour at Taj Land’s End 2. Amrita Arora and Mallaika Arora at Taj Land’s End 3. Aamir Khan attending a screening 4. Miss India Neha Hinge at World Kitchen at Malad.

JUNE 13-19 2010

“I hate being interviewed, especially when it’s unpaid” Performer Veena Malik on identifying with the Mona Lisa, a career in espionage and knowing what her time’s worth.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Being content with who you are and what you have.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Nothing.

What is your greatest fear?

Nothing.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Love and trust from all those who are close to me.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I cry a lot.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

Veena Malik.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Not speaking the truth.

Where would you most like to live?

Lahore.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Shoes.

What is your most treasured possession?

So many — independence, my body, talent, looks, my brains — you can pick any of them.

What is your current state of mind?

Hopeful.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Modesty.

On what occasion do you lie?

When I don’t want to be interviewed. (I hate being interviewed, especially when it’s unpaid.)

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Humiliation.

If you didn’t do your current job, what would you choose to do?

A spy.

What is your most marked characteristic?

The word ‘impossible’ does not exist for me.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Nothing.

Who is your hero of fiction?

Superman.

Which living person do you most despise?

No one.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Mona Lisa.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Looks and intellect.

Who are your heroes in real life?

All the brave and good-looking men out there. There are so many, I can’t name one in particular and they keep on changing. I admire bravery and good looks in men.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Beauty and brains.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Everything under the sun is possible.

What is your greatest regret?

None. I don’t regret anything; everything, good or bad, happens for a reason.

When and where were you happiest?

Whenever I’m home.

What’s your favourite quote?

“Love is one thing, knowledge is another.”

Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to play the piano.

How many hours of load shedding did you experience yesterday?

Six hours, I guess. a SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

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COVER STORY

last roll the

BY NADIR HASSAN

In the state of high moral dudgeon that has gripped the nation in the wake of the spot-fixing allegations that have bedevilled the Pakistan cricket team, rationality has been the first victim. Former cricketer Aamer Sohail voiced a desire on live television that the players, if found guilty, be hanged upside down. A petition has been filed in the Lahore High Court requesting that the players be charged with treason. Cricket fans are not in a mood to be reflective, but reflect we must. Before we can even begin to fix the problem of corruption in cricket, we have to understand what motivates our players to risk their reputations and livelihood. And even more importantly, we need to understand the global gambling industry — both legal and outlawed.

No one denies that a massive, outlawed gambling industry

exists in Pakistan, with its hub in Lahore. What is in dispute is the size of the industry. Those connected with it bandy about

numbers in the trillions of rupees. The police say it is closer to Rs50 billion a year. Since gambling in Pakistan takes place in the shadows it is hard to give, with any authority, an exact figure.

While sports betting is currently making all the headlines,

gambling in Pakistan encompasses just about every human ac-

tivity that is conducive to wagering. Betting on the numbers that

will be drawn on State Bank prize bonds is particularly popular, especially on Chaand Raat. The night before Eid happens to coincide both with the announcement of prize bonds by the State

Bank and a time when people are in need of quick and ready

cash. Prize bonds are identified by four-digit numbers and those who bet on those numbers win cash equal to the amount of the prize bond, with the bookie taking a 10 to 15 per cent commission from that amount.

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of e dice

Lahore is not just the centre of gambling but also coinciden-

tally, of Pakistan cricket. Last year, SP Lahore Zeeshan Asghar admitted that there were over 800 gambling joints in the city and said that the police had been unable to take action against them as the police was fighting militancy in the city. He promised that a drive would be launched against gambling in the city soon.

This hasn’t happened yet.

These gambling joints, though a hive of card games and bet-

ting on cricket and horse racing, are not big enough to have the clout or financial means to bribe players into throwing matches.

The true powerhouses of gambling in Pakistan, who accept bets in the millions of rupees, hide behind layers of technology and middlemen. Odds are transmitted and wagers placed by SMS. Money changers, in the employ of the bookies, accept bets and

pay out winners. These faceless men, who are believed to be based in Pakistan, India and Dubai, are believed to be those who can influence the results of matches.

India is finally taking its first tentative steps to tackling the

problem of match-fixing by floating a suggestion that sports betting be legalised. Just like with the repeal of prohibition in the

US in the 1930s, this would drive organised crime syndicates out of the sports betting business and allow the government to regulate the industry.

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COVER STORY While the popularity of sports betting in Pakistan has un-

data-gathering abilities available to law-enforcement officials.

ising and regulating the industry here is improbable due to cus-

lice with information to act on. This is exactly what happened

doubtedly played a role in the current crisis, unlike India, legaltom. In Britain, for example, sports betting thrives and bookies make so much money legally that they have no incentive to fix the outcomes of sporting events.

There are two main venues for sports betting in Britain: bricks

and mortar betting shops and online sportsbooks. Both are le-

gal and regularly audited under law. Some bricks and mortar betting companies like Ladbrokes and William Hill and online sportsbooks like BetFair have become so large that their shares

Thus, if betting patterns vary from the norm, it provides the poin 2007 when there was a surge of betting against a top 10 tennis

player Nikolay Davydenko who was a set up against a player who

was not even in the top 100. After the bets were placed, Davyden-

ko suffered a surprising meltdown and lost a match he should have comfortably won. Although police investigations into the

match were inconclusive, Davydenko’s reputation suffered and the tennis world took a closer look at match-fixing.

This approach would not have worked in the case of spot-fixing

are floated on the London Stock Exchange.

for which three Pakistani cricketers, Salman Butt, Mohammad

tential allies in the fight against sports corruption. They know

cidents of the no-balls at Lord’s involved the subcontinent bet-

It is the respectability of bookies in Britain that make them po-

that if they are caught trying to fix matches for financial gain they will lose their licenses and a billion-pound industry will be brought to its knees.

Additionally, legitimate sports betting enterprises make their

16 12 SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

Asif and Mohammad Aamir, have been credibly accused. The inting mafia, which can only be brought down by police work. For honest punters, though, a legal alternative exists in Britain, one

that can allow for the thrills of gambling without ruining the integrity of sports. a

Timeline Pakistan and match-fixing: a history 1979: Sarfaraz Nawaz accused captain Asif Iqbal of not letting the Indian captain see the coin at the toss and telling him that India had won the toss. He claimed this was so that India would win the match as Iqbal had been paid off by bookies.

1993: Australian captain Allan Border claimed he was offered 500,000 pounds by former Pakistani captain Mushtaq Mohammed to throw a match against England.

1998: Pakistani pacer Atta-ur-

Rehman, who was later given a life ban for match fixing himself, claimed that Wasim Akram offered him Rs300,000 to bowl badly.

Rashid Latif and Basit Ali temporarily retire from international cricket after accusing all the other players of being involved in match-fixing.

1998: Australians Mark Waugh, Shane Warne and Tim May say Pakistan captain Salim Malik came to their hotel room in Karachi during a Test match in 1994 and offered them $50,000 to throw the match.

2000: A judicial inquiry into match-fixing held by Justice Muhammad Qayyum hands down life bans to Salim Malik and Atta-ur-Rahman. The report says that it is likely many other players were involved but there was no proof against them.

2010: A sting operation by British tabloid News of the World implicates captain Salman Butt and pacers Mohammad Asif and Mohammad Aamir in spot-fixing during their Test series against England.

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FEATURE Madeeha*, a 26-year-old banker, got a nasty shock when she clicked on a mass email to discover it contained pictures of her and her friends at a party.

“Somebody managed to get their hands on private photographs and decided to circulate them,” said Madeeha. The photographs,

which included snapshots from a friend’s vacation abroad, had also been posted on YouTube. “The video was eventually removed from YouTube,” says Madeeha. “But the damage had been done.

I don’t know who else saw those pictures; they were only meant for close friends.”

Madeeha’s experience caused her to become much more

cautious about her privacy online. Her apprehension mirrors concerns that a growing number of people are experiencing about

the security of data they choose to post on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter or MySpace, or on blogs.

Of the 50 young professionals questioned by The Express Tribune

the

about their perceptions of security on the internet, 76 per cent said they were less willing to share personal information on sites

like Facebook as compared to when they first joined the network.

The lesson that many people have learnt the hard way is that personal information, once posted online, is almost impossible to guard.

inescapable web There’s no such thing as my space

BY HAMNA ZUBAIR

Although alarm at the privacy policies of giants like Facebook

has yet to cause a furore in Pakistan, the issue has received a significant amount of attention in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Europe. As US-based law professor Jeffrey Rosen

wrote in his piece “The Web Means the End of Forgetting” in The New York Times, “The fact that the internet never seems to forget is

threatening, at an almost existential level, our ability to control

our identities; to preserve the option of reinventing ourselves and starting anew; to overcome out chequered pasts.”

The dicey issue of distancing yourself from past mistakes made

online, whether the errors in judgment occurred in the form of an angry comment on a YouTube video or an embarrassing photograph on Facebook, is often raised in relation to one’s relationship with an employer.

Our survey revealed that 79 per cent of respondents routinely

ran web searches of prospective employers, employees, dates, coworkers or friends.

A similar trend in Germany recently led legislators to approve a

draft law which prohibits employers from using social networks

to check up on potential employees. Of course, commentators

have stressed that it will be extremely difficult to prove that a

18 SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

company has gathered information about an employee from a social networking site — but in theory, anyone found flouting the law could be fined up to $381,000.

According to human resources manager Leon Menezes, the

laxity of privacy laws in Pakistan means few checks on the extent

to which an organisation could go to dig up dirt on an employee.

Menezes said he found it surprising that people were so indiscreet on the web despite this obvious loophole in internet security.

“People need to be careful about what they say online,” said

Menezes. He could not comment on whether investigating

employees online was common practice in Pakistan, but said he thought it would be a good idea.

Citing the presence of a code of conduct in most large

organisations, Menezes said that an employer would be within

his or her rights to take action against an employee who was found to be contradicting the company’s policies online.

HR consultant Saira Ahsan Khwaja admitted she hadn’t heard

of a case in Pakistan where a company took action against an

employee for material he or she posted online, but did say she thought people carefully monitored their activities online to limit any negative fallout.

“People are sensitive to this possibility, so they do take

precautions,” she said.

Frequent Facebook-ers couldn’t agree more. Amna*, a research

assistant, boasts of stringently limiting people’s access to her

Facebook profile. “I have one list for close friends and separate settings for people I meet through work,” she says.

Even so, life isn’t perfect. Amna recently flew into a panic

when someone tagged a photograph of hers that had not been intended to be made public. “I kept trying to untag myself but

because of some technical glitch, the photo stayed on my profile for a whole 10 minutes,” she said. “I don’t know who saw it.”

Whether people choose to ferociously guard their online

privacy out of vanity (“I look fat in that picture, please don’t tag me!”), to circumvent nosy employers (“I don’t want my boss to

know I went to the beach yesterday even though I called in sick at

work”) or to protect their image in the public eye (case in point: Bilawal Bhutto’s leaked college party pictures), they all face

the same dilemna: they are trying to police a domain which is governed by very few rules and laws.

For that reason, perhaps, 76 per cent of those who were asked

whether they thought information they had shared on the internet could be used against them at some point in time said ‘Yes’.

Of course, some people do remain unmoved. Ahmad, a stu-

dent, recently discovered that his photograph was being used by someone else as a profile picture. But he couldn’t care less, and didn’t report the user.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” asked Ahmad.

“It’s only the internet.” a

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

* Some names have been changed to protect privacy.

PROFILE

a simple

plan

BY ZAHRA ULLAH

PHOTOS BY NOOR JAVERI

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

Rayyan Durrani, along with being the brains and head of take-out service Simple Dimple Khao Suey Palace, also has a day job at 3M (Minnesota mining and manufacturing) managing regional sales and marketing. This may lead one to assume Simple Dimple

to be a mere hobby, but according to Durrani this couldn’t be fur-

ther from the truth. “It’s more like a passion. Initially, I had no

wish to get an office job, but I wanted to justify my degree and get some professional experience to build my CV. But my priority is Simple Dimple.”

Rayyan Durrani was born into the food business. He was born

in Karachi in 1984, to a well-established restaurateur, Azam Durrani and his wife Anjum, a fashion designer. His father was the owner and founder of a local favourite Dolphin for over 20 years.

In the late nineties his deteriorating health forced him to retire

and he was unwilling to hand over his baby to outside management.

But Durrani’s story isn’t just a run of the mill like-father-

likeson case; “My childhood was steeped in this love of food. My

earliest memories are of big family get-togethers based around food,” he says. “Every Sunday, my sister and I would spend our days in the kitchen helping our parents cook, making a mess and then having to clean it up. I can still remember the delicious

smell of the different herbs and spices dispersed around our

house.” He looks like his mouth is watering as he revisits the de-

lights cooked up in his parents’ kitchen. After all, the recipe for khao suey, Simple Dimple’s signature dish and the reason for its initial success, is courtesy of Mama Durrani.

“An idea in your head is always an idea until execution. The Facebook group was my first step into making it a reality.”

Having graduated with a bachelors in Business from the Col-

lege of Business Management in 2008, Durrani took on a job at

Helium Marketing. His success there led to him being offered the position of national brand activation planner at PSO. Despite

this success, Durrani was always looking to marry his interest in business with his passion for food.

One winter night in 2008, inspiration struck him.He set up a

Facebook group for his then non-existent delivery service. His in-

tentions, he reassures me, were not to dupe the Facebook using

public but to test the waters. “My objective was to get a response from people. An idea in your head is always an idea until execution. The Facebook group was my first step into making it a reality.”

The idea of something as elementary as setting up a Facebook

group catapulting one to success seems perplexing. But according to Durrani, viral advertising via social networking sites is the

way forward and his success from it has indicated a change in the

way in which businesses market. “Initially, the Facebook group was an in-joke amongst my friends. Whenever there was dinner to be ordered, a chorus would chime ‘Let’s order from Simple Dimple’, but then, it became more than that. The group got a

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following. People across Karachi wanted to know where it was SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

PROFILE based since Khau Souey is a popular dish here. There was interest since no existing establishment offered the Burmese speciality.”

After it became clear there was a niche in the market, Durrani

set about formulating a business plan to discover the feasibility of the venture. As he leans forward for emphasis, fidgeting

with the coasters on the desk, he says: “I couldn’t afford to jump in and open a dine-in, but with the support of my family and fiancée I went ahead with the delivery service. We set up the

kitchen in my mother’s former workshop on 26th Street, and my

dad helped me out a little with an investment,” he says. “But it

wasn’t a heavy investment,” he is quick to add. “Along with word of mouth and an agreement I had with Musica, a video and DVD store in Khadda market, to put my menus in their DVD cases, we launched Simple Dimple a year after the preliminary Facebook group, on November 16, 2009.”

As is the case with most new enterprises, he was anxious and

didn’t anticipate much business for the restaurant in the first six

months. However, Durrani underestimated consumer demand and the willingness of Karachiites to try out new things; “The reality was we couldn’t handle the capacity after three days. We had to expand and grow immediately.”

The secret to his success? The khao suey, of course. “I have al-

ways been a great fan of khao suey myself. My mum would make great khao suey, and having sampled variations of it across the

globe, I wanted to bring it to Pakistan, since it suits the Pakistani palate. Well, after a few adaptations it does,” he says with an air of confidence. “It’s simple comfort food.”

After the declarations of the simplicity of the food one is in-

clined to believe that perhaps this is the inspiration behind SDKP’s name. But Durrani laughs it off, instead declaring that the name just came to him; “The night I made the Facebook group, the

name “Simple Dimple” popped into my head. It wasn’t thought out, but it worked. It was bizarre, catchy and sellable.” And sellable it has been, despite or perhaps due to the comparatively lower

prices of SDKP to Karachi’s veteran delivery services. And as Dur-

rani talks of his plans to open a Simple Dimple outlet later this

year, it is hard to fathom how such a project is feasible considering as he himself admits his business has a low profit margin.

“Usually businesses have a 60-100% profit margin. We don’t.

I’m more concerned about sustainable business development. I don’t want to make a quick buck. I want to ensure the best quality service so that I can serve you on a regular basis, not just once.

My motto is profit if you can, a loss if you must.”

The motto has served Durrani well so far, since his instinctive

attention to detail has led to demand for his delivery services beyond his current Defence and Clifton clientele. Durrani wants to give the people what they want. “I am planning to branch out across Karachi. After that I will expand to other cities.”

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Pakistan’s Richard Branson perhaps? “No,” Durrani says,

“More like Pakistan’s McDonald’s.” a SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

“I want to ensure the best quality service so that I can serve you on a regular basis, not just once. My motto is profit if you can, a loss if you must.”

COMMENT

the bright side of

pakistani cricket

BY AA SHEIKH

Contrary to what all the News of the World would have you believe, all is not rotten in Pakistani cricket. Despite the current scandal, there are a number of positives and a slew of good news related to the national team and the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB). Before we jump to hasty conclusions and

ning to start a cricket academy for youngsters, teaching them

butt into their private lives and bank accounts, or make them the

and, uh, some balls for the national team.

butt the captain and the chairman out of their jobs, or needlessly butt of nasty jokes and unsavoury puns, or gratuitously evoke

how to overstep bowling creases and drop sitters in subtle and unnoticeable ways.

Former captain and star cricketer Insaan Khan has been tipped

to take over as the new coach-cum-chairman. It is believed that only he can bring some order and discipline to national cricket.

He was last seen collecting some very heavy bats, leather whips

Despite the shame the team has brought on us, some respected

derrieres in relation to their names, before all that, we must also

international cricketers have offered words of support and en-

Here are some examples of the spate of recent good news associ-

that it would be unfair to ban the entire Pakistan cricket team.

look at the bright side of things. ated with Pakistani cricket:

In a generous gesture, our national team has decided to donate

a portion of their match-fixing fees to help flood victims. This also includes spot-fixing wages. It is estimated that this money could easily rehabilitate more than 10 million people and keep them reasonably well-off for many years to come.

The team has decided to admit all past wrongdoings and re-

pent for their sins by joining in a collective prayer for forgiveness.

couragement. The great Aussie captain Tricky Pointing has said

He went on to explain that only batsmen, bowlers and fielders should be dismissed. The 12th man can stay. The PCB has welcomed this statement.

Meanwhile the 12th man in the last test has been cleared of

all wrongdoing after a gruelling nine-and-a-half-hour investiga-

tion. He was suspected of bringing the towels on field at specific times predicted by fixers.

Given that many of our cricketers are mentally challenged —

They’d do this in a nationally televised event led by a popular

one Yes-Sir Hameed is known to have the mind of a 15-year-old —

to hapless flood victims.

our intellectually depleted players and officials. The institution

proselytiser. Advertisers will donate 0.000001% of their proceeds The board chairman has magnanimously agreed to resign in

the wake of the current furore; he’s decided to embark on a new career as stand-up comic relief, spreading joy and laughin the grief-stricken nation. He’s also been putedly offered the lead role in the upcoming Punjabi action-thriller-comedy, Maula Butt.

All cricketers implicated in the cur-

rent scandal, in a great show of moral uprightness, have volunteered to quit cricket on their own. They’re plan-

re-

ter

the PCB has decided to fund a special educational institution for

would impart basic educational skills such as speaking English and using your brains.

In a related development, the PCB’s lawyer has reiterated that all players are innocent and no court can try them as they’re all minors and/or imbeciles.

Meanwhile, the PCB has ignored strong public de-

mand for renaming it the Pakistan Cheaters’ Board. It said it would cling to its original

title. Either that or the Pakistan Corruption Board. a

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PORTFOLIO

a thousand points of light PHOTOGRAPHY & TEXT BY AISHA SAEED

Energy is all around us in this highly-charged world. We may differ, with some calling it either positive or negative energy but,

for me, the beauty of it lies in understanding the greys between

these two extremes. What interests me is the way these greys af-

fect us, mobilise us, surround us like an immense, intangible web in our everyday life.

This series began with a fourth-year assignment at the Nation-

al College of Arts. We were required to find the 26 alphabets of the English language from amidst our surroundings.

Now, here was the glitch: in terms of visual depiction, I’m

more of a micro than a macro person. I have a tendency of getting so immersed in a subject and magnifying it so much that it subsequently becomes hard for me to detach myself from it, look

at it from a distance. When there is an array of objects in front of

me, it is an ordeal for me to try and focus on each and every one of them with the same interest and intensity.

For this assignment, therefore, I decided to avoid looking

closely at anything to begin with. I stood on the rooftops of different plazas of Lahore with my camera to capture naturally defined patterns and/or interesting aerial shots of things which

surround us in our daily lives and tried to find those alphabets from this bizarre experiment.

That day I saw my city in a new light. I saw it in the most or-

ganic and animated form that I could, with a web of technology,

gadgetry and electronic media creating such a divine visual ex-

perience. I learnt that sometimes you just need to sit back and enjoy. Keeping things simpler is unique in its own way. a

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PORTFOLIO

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REVIEW

featured review of the week

book for pete’s sake

BY GEORGE FULTON

Memoirs of senior British political figures were once dull, turgid affairs. Until now, that is. The flurry of New Labour memoirs has jettisoned such serious fare. Perhaps unsurprisingly for a government that acted as midwife to a post-Diana Britain — a let it all hang out country that ushered in sentimentality over stiff upper lips — these books reflect the confessional, celebrity Big Brother age. Often unflinchingly candid, they have dealt with bulimia (former Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott), addiction to alcohol (Tony Blair), sex (Tony Blair) and the fear of becoming Prime Minister (Tony Blair again). However, it’s left to Peter Mandelson’s bitchy memoir, The Third Man, to truly give us an insight into the whole grisly dysfunction of New Labour.

As Britain’s original spin doctor, Mandelson charts the rise of Labour from red flag waving perennial election losers to becoming the New Labour election winning juggernaut. It was Mandelson who in 1997 led the team that masterminded New Labour’s victorious election campaign. He was twice a member of Blair’s Cabinet, and twice forced to resign in highly controversial circumstances, before moving to Brussels as EU Trade Commissioner and re-inventing himself as a political player on the international stage.

The book begins with a chapter entitled ‘Can you help me?’, a question posed to Mandelson by the then beleaguered Prime Minister Gordon Brown which leads to his dramatic recall to the Cabinet for a third time in October 2008. However, this could have been the subtitle of the book considering how indispensable Mandelson makes himself out to be throughout the memoir. He’s indispensable for Neil Kinnock during the modernising phase as Labour ditches the red flag in favour of the red rose. He’s indispensable to Blair as they usher in New Labour. At one point Blair says, ’I need you to be Peter. I need you around me to make sure things run smoothly’. And of course he eventually proves 30 indispensable to Brown despite an earlier falling out. But instead SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

mandelson to the rescue The former MP goes out of his way to prove he was indispensable

Five self-aggrandising memoirs by political advisers 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

George Stephanopoulos — All Too Human Alastair Campbell — The Blair Years Karl Rove — Courage and Consequence Khalid Mahmud Arif — Working with Zia Robin Cook — The Point of Departure

It’s when dealing with the dysfunctional three way relationship between Blair, Brown and Mandelson that The Third Man comes alive. Despite what we have already read in the press it’s still quite shocking to read how damaging the relationship between Blair and Brown became

of appearing central to the New Labour project he comes across as a terribly needy character; constantly wanting the approval and affirmation of Blair and Brown.

Of course the Graham Greenesque title refers to the political ménage a trois of modernisers at the heart of New Labour. Torn between backing the brilliant but broody Brown or the telegenic Tony in the Labour leadership battle of 1994, Mandelson decides to back Blair. (He seems to have a bit of a bromance for Tony).

This leads to a titanic 15 year battle between the three founding architect of New Labour, with Mandelson often caught in the crossfire. And it’s when dealing with the dysfunctional three way relationship between Blair, Brown and Mandelson that The Third Man comes alive. Despite what we have already read in the press it’s still quite shocking to read how damaging the relationship between Blair and Brown became. Blair appears much the weaker figure. Brown frustrates Blair’s modernising domestic agenda to such an extent that the Prime Minister all but cedes control of domestic policy to his errant Chancellor. Which begs the question was Blair’s enthusiastic support for the Iraq war because he had nothing better to do at home?

31 SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

REVIEW

film the film’s alright

BY SAEED RAHMAN

The drama-comedy The Kids Are All Right had entirely passed me by until I was berated by a friend for not having seen it and choosing to waste my time on other, lesser summer fare instead (e.g. Salt). I was sold upon learning that it starred voluptuous, lily-skinned Julianne Moore, the thinking man’s crumpet, and, in addition, had been directed by Lisa Cholodenko of High Art fame.

TKAA is a peculiar little film, made apparently as an attempt to check off all the right boxes to make the liberals happy, starting with casting the politically engaged Annette Bening. Nic (Bening) and Jules (Moore) form an upper middle class suburban couple raising two children, Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson). Bening is a doctor and sturdy supporter, with Moore taking on the role of flaky other half who has rolled through many careers, the current one being landscaper. On Joni’s eighteenth birthday, at Laser’s insistence, she sets out to find the sperm donor who impregnated each of the “Moms.” Enter Paul (Mark Ruffalo), the free-wheeling, organic-eating restaurateur. Though Paul had all but forgotten about his donation he is nonetheless delighted to meet the end result. Soon enough, all five find themselves enmeshed in each other’s lives, with the ensuing shenanigans forming the meat of this film.

High Art, Cholodenko’s last venture, was a brave and thrilling piece of cinema revolving around lesbians in the world of drugaddled artists. Her views and means of expressing alternative sexuality in a suburban setting, however, is considerably less satisfying. Cholodenko toes the line so very carefully in this work, careful to not offend, to not challenge, to not just flat out say it, and her restraint doesn’t suit comedy. Jules and Nic’s marriage is staid and boring, while Paul appears to be living it up in a singledom punctuated with fun-filled and frequent sexual encounters. About the only scene in which Cholodenko musters up some courage regards the role of pornography, with very amusing 32 results. To flat out indict the institution of marriage, same-sex or SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

conventionally unconventional The director’s means of expressing alternative sexuality are unsatisfying otherwise, for a carefree existence consisting of a sexual buffet would at least have been something — a statement, a philosophy.

But no. As is the unspoken Hollywood rule, single people are emotionally unfulfilled and can only be made complete with a family, picket fence et al. For all its liberal pretences, the narrative takes one down an oft-trodden, tediously conservative path. In your average rom-com, this would be unsurprising, given that this films posits itself as alternative, the result is closer to hypocritical.

What carries TKAA through are the performances, which are truly memorable and only to be expected from the stellar cast it brings together. Moore, Bening and Ruffalo do not put one foot wrong. All three are nuanced, underrated, superb performers and despite the director’s timid moral hypocrisy, the script provides them enough material to really rip into it, making other A-listers seem really rather shabby in comparison. My recommendation is to watch this film not for the story, nor for the expectation of humour, but as an acting masterclass. Otherwise, it’s just alright.

book adventures and history

BY AMMARA KHAN

Historical fiction and its reception among critics is as diverse as the uncertain nature of history itself. From Georg Lukács’ credible veneration of the genre to its plain denunciation by Henry James as “fatal cheapness”, the historical novel is entrenched in the modern consciousness, as seen in last year’s Booker win for Hillary Mantel’s Wolf Hall.

Peter Carey’s latest novel Parrot and Olivier in America is a fun ride to the early nineteenth century metamorphosis of the old structure into the new. The character of Olivier de Garmont is based upon the classical-liberal French philosopher Alexis de Tocqueville who travelled to America in 1831 and wrote Democracy in America, a classical masterpiece on the democratic system of America. However, the novel is not about Tocqueville. Unlike Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose, Peter Carey’s narrative is not a commentary about contemporary political issues in the guise of the past. His novel is a rendition of the past as an uncanny “distant mirror” of humanity itself.

History for Carey is “unreliable”. He presents its amphibious nature in a vivid tale of adventures of Parrot and Olivier. Olivier is a troubled aristocrat from an anti-revolution family, “living in a constant state of contradiction and confusion” in post-Napoleonic France. Being a confused liberal aristocrat, he is trusted by neither side and is forced to flee to America. Tocqueville went to America with Beaumont, a fellow aristocrat, who is replaced by Parrot, a Dickensian tragic survivor from the lower rung of the social ladder.

He is employed to spy on Olivier by his mother in the novel. Initially, both characters are repelled by each other but when they reach America their companionship transforms into a peculiar friendship.

Throughout the narrative, both characters are addressed by various names and titles to highlight the relativity inherent in identity. Furthermore, the writer subverts the structure of power politics by placing Parrot first in the title of the book and dividing the narrative voice equally between the two.

american dreams Carey cleverly subverts the structure of power politics “I might be safe from the so-called July Revolution, but I was not safe from love”, says Olivier when he falls in love with an American beauty. Parrot’s beloved, on the other hand is a passionate artist of an attraction that we find only in Marianne from Delacroix’s “Liberty Leading the People”.

The subtlety, complexity and thematic range of the novel are extensive. Olivier’s observations of American democracy, though biased at times, are disarmingly witty. However, Parrot is Carey’s greatest invention in the novel. Carey’s purpose is not historical analysis or a distillation of the essence of present from the grove of the past. He addresses the one great issue: human relations and survival. Prism-like, the novel generates an entire spectrum of hues we find in human relationships from the permutations of class, psychology and politics to the intricate feelings of love and sexuality. Masterful, entertaining and splendidly shrewd, Parrot and Olivier in America is Peter Carey at his best. a 33 SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

UP NORTH AND PERSONAL

the apples of my eye

Hailstone-pitted as most of them are this year, they are still ruby-red, crisply juicy and worth their weight in rice. Not exactly top quality rice, it must be said, but definitely in the medium-to-good price range depend-

ing on how hard I can bargain. Oh, the joys of driving a hard bar-

gain! I absolutely love it and, even if I say so myself, I am pretty good at bargaining!

This is a skill I learnt years ago as a teenager stationed on the

Saturday weekly market stall selling plants, cut flowers, fresh fruit and vegetables grown in the Market Garden in fertile Lancashire. The art of bartering was nonexistent in the mountains

when we took up residence here all of 13 years ago, but on dis-

covering that the orchard full of glorious apples was practically worthless in cash terms, bartering it for goods or labour seemed like the best thing to do. Initially, finding day labour happy to be paid in apples was a wee bit more difficult than anticipated, as

local labourers usually had their own apples. I struck gold when

an extended family of Pakhtuns moved into the area and rented accommodation minus apple trees. I had my labour when needed and, before the advent of road access, labour to carry supplies

was a regular requirement and they were happy to be paid in apples — until, that is, they got a taste of the spicy apple chutney I

concocted from time to time after which they would merrily haul

firewood, gas cylinders and anything else for a jar or two or six of

chutney. In the years since the arrival of the road, this tribe has slowly faded away yet the apples remain.

After some serious thought as to how best to dispose of apples,

an astronomical 1,200 kilogrammes in a good year and maybe

only a measly 14 apples in a very bad one, it was time to expand

my horizons and go for the big time. The first important step was

Crunchy apples

to work out who didn’t grow apples but could conceivably find a

use for them. The initial list included bakeries, hotels, butchers, fish-mongers, newspaper vendors, cab drivers, clothes shops, shoe sellers, pick-up drivers and honey merchants, all of whom

were then approached for a deal. After a test run, this list was whittled down to one bakery, two butchers, one cab driver, one

shoe seller, one guy selling wild mountain honey. The list then expanded to include a couple of dry goods sellers which is where rice — now the basis for all exchanges — entered the equation.

How it works is this: first check the price of decent rice in as

many outlets as possible, check the market price of apples likewise

34

and then work out an exchange rate between the two. The dry goods stores currently take an average of 400 kg of apples between SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

Plums & pears

Where money grows on trees TEXT & PHOTOGRAPHS BY ZAHRAH NASIR

them and one of them, my favourite, places his order as soon as the trees come into blossom during spring. Based on the weight

for weight system of apples to rice, I exchange for rice, lentils,

beans, cooking oil, sugar, flour and whatever else I can use in the way of winter stocks and can find in his store. The bakery takes

about 150 kg; since I don’t need mountains of baked goods (I make my own) from the bakery, I take tinned goods, coffee and cheese,

all of which, after prolonged negotiations, I get at wholesale rates.

From the butcher — he’ll take 50-100 kg — I get a few weeks of meat for the dogs which they get served up as a kind of pilau. A 20

kg sack of apples will get a very pretty pair of khussas or a large jar of honey and 30kg pays for a full-day cab trip down to Islamabad

and back. After putting aside a decent supply of apples for home consumption, it is apples with and in everything you can think of

all autumn, winter and spring. Any remaining apples get slowly bartered away for fresh eggs, fresh milk — some — not all that

many — even end up being sold for cash. The lawyer gets a sack of apples every year whether or not his services have been availed of, on the understanding that if he is needed, no other payment is required.

I get such a kick out of bartering that I’ve even extended the

range, now loading up with excess produce such as persimmons,

apricots, plums, peaches, pumpkins, tomatoes and broccoli

when I have them, loading up and going off in search of suitable victims who, quite often, haven’t got a clue what’s hit them. An

elderly man carting six boxes of sweet limes from his farm near Kohala took some convincing that he should exchange one box

for the large bag of apples I was taking to Murree, on spec, on the local bus but, eventually, he did see the sense of the deal!

Rosemary, thyme, basil, tarragon, chives, aniseed, oregano

and other herbs — again, after delicate negotiations — all go to a

city fruit and vegetable wallah who I barter with for things like onions, potatoes, ginger and garlic and for delicacies such as

mangoes, pineapples and guavas. I recently began bartering excess plants too and, so far, these have earned me dozens of fresh

naan, a few sacks of oranges, lemons and grapefruit, a sack of

walnuts, some new species of plants and seeds plus, strange as it may sound, a rather decadent pizza!

I now find, with bartering having become such an integral part

of life, that I have a variety of possibilities in mind when sowing vegetable and herb seeds, when propagating ornamentals, when planting additional fruit trees, when cooking up huge vats of

jams, jellies, chutneys and pickles and even, let’s face it, when House supply

I’m dreaming … maybe that should be scheming! a

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

35

HOROSCOPE

BY SHELLEY VON STRUNCKEL

Aries March 20 – April 19 Ordinarily you’d tackle the issues trig-

gered by Thursday’s Aries Full Moon right away. Instead, take it slowly. That’s because there’s far more to both conflicts and

to the feelings involved than you realise. Ideally you’ll finalise

nothing until the rare, second, Aries Full Moon on October 23rd.

What you’ve learned by then could lead to decisions very different from anything you conceive of today.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 While you enjoy a relaxed conversation with friends or loved ones, you dread those of a serious nature.

Shelley von Strunckel is an internationally acclaimed astrologer who created the first horoscope column for the London Sunday Times in 1992.

A frequent lecturer, she writes daily,

Yet if you don’t air certain issues now, misunderstandings could

lead to problems. Worse, it could create difficulties when dealing

with the exciting, if unexpected, ideas or offers currently under consideration. If in doubt, say yes now, and deal with the details later. Opportunities this good occur rarely.

weekly and monthly horoscopes in publications around the world including South China Morning Post, The Gulf News, Tatler, French and Chinese Vogue and now The Express Tribune Magazine.

Gemini May 21 – June 20 There are few planetary alliances better

than today’s encounter between Jupiter and Uranus. And because this accents the structure of your domestic or working life, sud-

den and perhaps entirely unexpected developments could utterly transform certain arrangements. True, these are disruptive and

somewhat intimidating, so not everybody’s enthusiastic. Still, waste no time on discussion. You must either plunge in or live wondering what it is you’ve bypassed.

Cancer June 21 – July 21 It’s understandable you’ve avoided discussions about rearranging elements of your work or lifestyle. However, because Thursday’s Full Moon begins a month-long cycle of

review and, ultimately, of change, you’ll be seriously considering these options. Some are so new you’re short of facts. Still, your instincts say they’re worth pursuing. So learn what you

can, always remembering you should finalise nothing until four weeks from now.

Leo July 22 – August 22 Disruptive as the events triggered by as-

pects involving Jupiter, the innovative Uranus and your ruler the

Sun may be, these are also leading to breakthroughs. True, you may only sense what’s going. But even the most unexpected of developments promises to improve on your personal, relationship and financial life. However, this means being willing to go along with those changes – including several that you dread.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 For months you’ve been mulling

over potential changes in arrangements that involve those closest, at work or in your personal life. Because today’s alliance be-

tween Jupiter and Uranus speeds things up, suddenly you’ve some decisions to make. Basically, the answer should be yes, because opportunities of this nature appear rarely. Aim to get moving

36

now, knowing that you can fine tune the details as you proceed.

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

Libra September 23 – October 22 The only real problem with the

rather exciting developments currently reshaping elements of

your daily routine or working life is that things are moving so swiftly you’ve no time to think, much less discuss plans with others. Similarly, new concepts that would revolutionise health

matters seem overwhelming. In every case, the only way you’ll know what’s right is by plunging in. And now.

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 There’s no question the ben-

efits of the presence of both charming Venus and Mars, planet of courage, in Scorpio. Except, ironically, you could talk others –

and yourself – out of taking up new ideas or offers. True, they do seem overwhelming and you’re want to do a little investigation.

But, alas, there’s no time for even the minimum of discussion.

Instead allow experience to be your guide.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 20 Ever since last June,

when your ruler Jupiter and Uranus staged their first encoun-

ter, you’ve been conscious that certain ideas, offers or alliances could eliminate persistent problems, if not transform your life.

Now, their second meeting takes things further. Obviously you’ll pursue whatever arises. But before you make any commitments,

consider this; they meet again early in the new year, so there’s yet more to come. 65

Capricorn December 21 – January 19 After a period that’s been challenging on so many fronts, you’re cautious about making

sudden changes. But you rightly worry that if you ignore the

exciting ideas others are discussing, you’d be missing out. Sim-

ply keep in mind that exploring them is just that. At minimum, you’ll learn something. But the concepts you encounter could transform your thinking. And, as a result, your life.

Aquarius January 20 – February 17 By now you’ve probably realised that what first seemed annoying changes were actually events

updating elements of your life that you’d been ignoring. These, indicated by encounters between expansive Jupiter and your ruler

Uranus, last June and this weekend, are exposing you to all sorts of new concepts. Except now they’re turning into solid plans that you’ll either have to opt out of or join.

Pisces February 18 – March 19 Your sentimental side is un-

doubtedly struggling over the possibility changes would mean

leaving much that’s familiar behind you. Yet you simply can’t ignore the amazing developments triggered by the alliance between the planet of opportunity itself, Jupiter, and the inventive Uranus in Pisces. These two meet again early in the new

For more information, to order personal charts and to download & listen to detailed audiocasts, visit www.shelleyvonstrunckel.com

year, so this isn’t the last of them. Still, you’d regret not pursu-

37

ing these.

SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

THE HATER

10 things I hate about ...angelina jolie

1 2 3 4 5

The collective amnesia: You may be the UN’s goodwill

ambassador now — but you used to be a self-harming, blood-vial wearing misanthrope, a fact everyone conveniently overlooks. Or maybe I’m the only one who remembers how you locked lips with your brother at the Oscars.

The mother-earth reincarnation: Like a phoenix from

the flames, you emerged from the ashes of your for-

mer marriages in the guise of a kindly matriarch. As you began expanding your brood with alarming speed

and determination, every formerly independent, successful, childless woman was plunged into a spiral of self-doubt. We still haven’t recovered.

The perfect babies: Shiloh’s perfect pout and blonde hair will cement her presence on Page Six for the rest

of her life. If that wasn’t enough, even the babies you didn’t give birth to are adorable.

The perfect post-baby body: Your ability to squeeze

into skinny jeans weeks after giving birth to twins is perhaps even more unsettling than your ability to be a multi-tasking supermom.

Brad Pitt: We don’t hate you because you have him. We hate you because you stole him.

38 SEPTEMBER 19-25 2010

BY HAMNA ZUBAIR

6 7 8 9 10

Jennifer Aniston: See above.

The

donation

to

Pakistan’s

flood

victims

that

outstripped the generous contributions made by our own political leadership. Shame and self-doubt have

now spread from the female population to the entire

country. Even though, to be fair, it isn’ t hard to appear more magnanimous than a Pakistani politician.

The money: Even though you give to charity, you have enough cash left over to own homes all over the world.

Gia: We’d love to write you off as an undeserving bimbo who earns the big bucks by starring in shallow blockbusters like Tomb Raider and Salt. But after watching films like Gia, we can’t.

Good old-fashioned envy: Because even though we love to hate you, we want to be you. a

JUNE 13-19 2010

JUNE 13-19 2010