The Express Tribune Magazine - September 25

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Aamils, Astaanas and Amulets People turn to pirs and aamils for the tiniest problems and the biggest decisions.

How widespread is the belief in magic?

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SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Cover Story 24 Aamils, Astaanas and Amulets How widespread is the belief in magic?

Comment 34 Magic and Superstition: An Islamic Perspective Khalid Zaheer provides a doctrinal insight into the practice of magic

Feature 38 No Strings Attached Meet Pakistan’s answer to David Blaine

Travel 42 Heavens Unleashed Explore the untouched beauty of Neelum Valley

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Regulars 6 People & Parties: Out and about with Pakistan’s beautiful people 46 Advice: Mr Know-it-all solves your problems 48 Reviews: What’s new in books and movies 52 Ten Things I Hate About: rain

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Magazine Editor: Zarrar Khuhro, Senior Sub-Editor: Batool Zehra, Sub-Editors: Ameer Hamza and Dilaira Mondegarian.

Creative Team: Amna Iqbal, Jamal Khurshid, Essa Malik, Anam Haleem, Tariq W Alvi, S Asif Ali, Samad Siddiqui, Mohsin Alam, Sukayna Sadik.

Publisher: Bilal A Lakhani. Executive Editor: Muhammad Ziauddin. Editor: Kamal Siddiqi.

For feedback and submissions: magazine@tribune.com.pk 4

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Maha and Unum

Ali Kurd with a guest

Murad and Imtisal

6

Murtaza and Kamran SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Shameen

Guest

PHOTOS COURTESY VERVE PR AND EVENTS

Riverstone celebrates Chand Raat in Lahore

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Usman Baksh launches his new outlet in Islamabad

Maleeha and Sidra

Guest

8

Azlaan Rajpoot and friends SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Raphael

Hania and Amir

PHOTOS COURTESY VERVE PR AND EVENTS

Wajeeha

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Momina with a friend

Ahmad

Guests Khizer Hussain with friends

Daniel and Zo

10 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Usman Baksh and Imtisal

A model

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Mehreen Zaidi exhibits her clothing line alongside Maryam Sikander’s semi-precious jewellery in Karachi

Reema Sangeeta with a friend Ayesha and Ayaz PHOTOS COURTESY VOILA PR

Narriman

Nosheen

Zainab Abuzer and Mehreen

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Saira and Sameen SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Tabinda and Atif

Mrs Hayat

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Mere Brother ki Dulhan screened in Islamabad

Huma Amir Shah

Nadia Jamil

Murtaza Haider

Haniya

Omar Jamil

14 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Imran Mufti

Ramzan Shaikh and Pervez Qureshi

PHOTOS COURTESY LATITUDE

Ahmad Ali Butt

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

PEOPLE & PARTIES

Shamaeel exhibits her pret line at Fashion Pakistan Lounge, Lahore

Guests

Mrs Shazia Tanveer

Zareen Rehman

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Guests SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Honey Waqar

Zulekha

PHOTOS COURTESY CATALYST

Shamaeel Ansari and Mrs Fakhira

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

COVER STORY

aamils, astaanas and amulets

BY RAHAT KAMAL

24 12 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

s

At a breezy, spacious house in Manghopir, people belonging to all rungs of the social ladder gather with heavy hearts and troubled minds, seeking remedies for their problems, and explanations for the hand fate has dealt them. The house, or astaana as it is called, is surrounded by clumps of gnarly old trees, and the air is heavy with the fragrance of incense. Far away from the ruckus of the big city, the astaana is visited daily by hundreds of people for both solace and solutions.

The people who come here seek a consultation with the resi-

dent aamil, a man trained in the art of the supernatural, a man

they believe can solve their problems, and perhaps even give an insight into what the future holds for them. Despite the image

that the word ‘aamil’ conjures up, he is not an unkempt man with unruly hair, a long beard and rosaries hanging around his neck in the dozens. He is a tall, lean young Baloch with a clean-

shaven face. In his neatly pressed shalwar kameez, he

easily blends in with the throngs in the court-

yard — apart from the fact that he is followed by his retinue, and a

hum of awed whispers accom-

panies his appearance.

The ‘Ustad’ as he is called by

his clients and followers, refers

to his work as ‘fakeeri’ and does

not charge for his services. He says

he became a Hafiz-e-Quran at an

early age, and performed an immense

amount of ibadat and sacrifice in his

quest to gain spiritual powers. But his journey

took him to a darker path when his teacher, a Ben-

gali Aamil, also taught him the basics of black magic.

The lure of the dark arts proved too seductive to ignore.

“For a few months, I read the Quran backwards in order to

please Satan. But then, through the guidance of my father

and another aamil, I realised how wrong that was. I swore that I would never practice black magic again,” he says.

Most of the people waiting here at the astaana are women.

They sit patiently on the cool marble floor, swapping stories as they wait their turn.

Requiring very little prompting, an old woman from Orangi

Town eagerly talks about how relieved she is at having found the Ustad. She had been worried about her grown daughter who

was unable to get a decent marriage proposal, and has been vis-

iting the Ustad regularly for the past two months so that he can lift the ‘curse’ from her daughter. Although she still isn’t mar-

13 25 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

COVER STORY ried, the woman swears she feels things have taken a turn for the

better. She’s not alone in her faith; a group of Iranian women

sitting nearby narrate how they had arrived here after unsuccessfully visiting many other places for a cure for their sister’s illness. An illness they too believe was caused by black magic.

Shepherding the crowd and encouraging people to form queues

and wait their turn is the owner of a leading nihari restaurant

chain in Karachi. He claims that he has been helped on many occasions by the Ustad, so he now devotes his free time to the astaana, as a gesture of his gratitude to the Ustad.

Not everyone here is looking for something as dramatic as a

‘cure’ for black magic. There are many who seek the advice of their aamil for everything from naming a child or whether or not

to accept a marriage proposal. For these people, the weight of his word is often greater than that of friends and family.

Aziz Ahmed is a 35-year-old factory worker and resident of

Manghopir. He and others in his locality wholeheartedly believe that the supernatural plays a major role in their lives. ‘Amal’ is

rooted in their culture and they consult aamils for a wide array of

“Practitioners of black magic gain power by singing the praises of the Shayateen (devils), reciting formulas of a heretical nature, and by denying Allah or associating others with Him”

problems: physical ailments, marital discord and family feuds.

Without the help of an aamil, it is difficult for them to resolve

even the simplest issues and they eagerly relate the ‘miracles’ that have been worked by their spiritual advisors. Ahmed recounts how somebody took away the keys to his motorcycle and,

no matter where he looked or who he asked, he couldn’t find them. “I went to my aamil who told me that I would find the keys next to my bike the next day, and I did,” he says.

Aamils are not the only ones who are thought to possess the

power to make sense of people’s lives, decipher the hidden meanings behind events and provide spiritual help. Ahmed estimates that approximately while 80% of the people in his locality go to aamils — the rest go to ‘black magicians’.

These practitioners of the dark arts are assumed to be more

powerful than aamils; they not only assist people with their own problems, but claim to go a step further by enabling them

to cause changes in other people’s lives — usually for the worse.

These could range from ruining someone’s marriage prospects to casting a spell to make another person fall ill.

Just as in any belief system, there is method to the madness.

To cast their spells, black magicians need to collect tokens such as a person’s hair, nails, blood or clothes — in essence, anything which is of that person, or has been touched by or rubbed against

him. Using these items, concoctions, potions, and charms are prepared. For the spell to take effect, the charms are burnt or placed near the person. Often, the magicians claim to use the

services of evil jinns and spirits in placing cursed objects like nails, amulets, and dead animals inside people’s homes. Potions have to either be ingested or directly applied in order to be

26 12

effective. These magicians also cast spells by chanting, writing SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

What Is Noori Amal?

An amal is soothsaying or any task that the aamil executes to achieve a specific result in the real world. The act performed may have seemingly little to do with the actual aim. Noori amal is a blend of numerology and astrology.

spells, making pictures and dummies of the victim, tying knots and blowing on them, and burying cursed objects in particular places.

Paradoxically, these black magicians are also thought to be the

only ones who can break the powerful spells that they cast, and when people believe that they are under the influence of such a spell, many turn to the same black magicians for a remedy.

Others may seek out someone like Maulana Abdul Khaliq, an

imam and aalim (see: Aalim vs. Aamil) from Bahawalpur who guides people in the cure and reversal of magic spells. He strongly disagrees with the belief that only black magic can counter black magic. “Can dirt ever clean dirt?” he asks. “Only something pure and clean can break the spell. A person going to a black magician for a cure is as bad as the one going to him for the spell itself.”

And they don’t call them ‘black’ magicians for

nothing. Maulana Mushtaq, is a self-proclaimed

expert of Noori Amal (See What Is Noori Amal) and

claims to have been helping people break evil spells

for many years now. He sits everyday for three

hours at his astaana in Karachi’s Defence neigh-

bourhood to treat people’s problems with the help

of the Jinns he claims to have under his control and through the recitation of Quranic verses.

According to him, black magicians are required to

indulge in unspeakable acts and commit cardinal sins

in order to increase their powers. And he should know,

given that one of his oldest friends is a black magician

based in the Sindhi town of Badin. “When his father was

dying,” says Mushtaq, “he transferred his powers to his

son. Since then, he has augmented his powers by undertaking grotesque rituals and incantations. Just as we aamils use good spirits and Jinns to help us in our work, he

takes the help of evil spirits. He is now a well known

magician in Badin and comes to Karachi every month to

meet his clients here. The payments for his services are in the millions of rupees,” says the Maulana.

Shujauddin Shaikh, Director Academics of the Quran

Academy is equally clear that black magic is a thing of the

devil. “Practitioners of black magic gain power by singing the praises of the Shayateen (devils), reciting formulas of a

heretical nature, and by denying Allah or associating others

with Him,” he says. “They also indulge in evils like prepar-

ing charms with the blood of a person who has been killed un-

lawfully, and they themselves live in a constant and deliberate state of filth and impurity.”

For the believing Muslim, there are sound grounds for believ-

ing in magic. Religion and magic seem to overlap in many places with the Quran itself making references to magic. Believers are

13 27 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

COVER STORY

12 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

13 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

COVER STORY also guided to recite certain surahs if they believe an enchant-

ment has been performed on them. For that matter, both Christianity and Hinduism also acknowledge the existence of the supernatural and the existence of those who are able to manipulate that invisible world.

According to Shaikh, magic is unconditionally and absolutely

prohibited in Islam. “It is haram to learn, teach and perform

magic or indulge in soothsaying for any cause whatsoever,” he

says. He also recommends that if the need should arise, people should go to an ‘aalim’ — who will guide them according to the

Quran and Sunnah — and not an ‘aamil’. Paradoxically, though,

these prohibitions only serve to strengthen people’s belief in the power of magic, and make them more likely to turn to its practitioners when they believe they have been cast a spell on. After

all, they argue, if it doesn’t exist, then why was it prohibited?

(See Magic and Superstition: An Islamic Perspective)

Nor is belief in magic the exclusive preserve of the uneducated,

and even sceptics have been known to become fervent believers. Saleem Haider is an educated businessman who never harboured superstitious beliefs and was content with the profits he

was earning. But when he started making consecutive losses, his relatives suggested that his foes had put a magic curse on

him. Haider paid no heed, but he had to comply when his wife brought him a ‘taveez’ (amulet) from an aamil and demanded he wear it. “I don’t know whether it was the taveez or my luck, but from then on things started getting back on track,” he chuckles.

Farida Zahoor, a doctor by profession belongs to a highly edu-

cated and non-superstitious family with no history of going to

Aamil vs Aalim An aalim is an Islamic scholar, who will guide people according to the tenets of the Quran and Sunnah when they come to him with their problems. He will tell them to recite surahs and relate anecdotes from the lives of the prophets to help them. An aamil, on the other hand, is someone who claims to solve people’s problems through supernatural means, including the help of spirits, over which he has power purportedly because of his prayers.

Some religious scholars classify aamils as soothsayers because of their use talismans.

30 12 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

soothsayers. Some time back, while tending to his garden, her

brother-in-law was digging a neglected flower bed when he and the gardener unearthed a half-decayed goat’s head. The disconcerted family members quickly made a connection between the

discovery and the financial problems and illnesses they had been experiencing for some time — all of these now seemed the result of black magic. Still, unsure of what to do, they threw away the

goat’s head. Soon after this unsettling episode, Farida’s mother-in-law took a turn for the worse and passed away. Next, her brother-in-law started having heart problems. Convinced that evil spells were at the root of all their troubles, the family went to

an aamil in Mauripur. A homeopathic doctor by profession, the

aamil told them that there were more amulets hidden in their house. After many payments for cleansing rituals, the family felt that things were getting back on track. “This incident has

completely changed my brother-in-law. Now he suspects magic behind every minor happening and keeps lamenting about the

experiences we’ve been through, without being able to move on,” says Farida.

Visit the ‘offices’of any local aamil and you will see hordes of

women standing in cramped corridors, ready to hand over what-

psychosomatic disorder (condition in which psychological stress-

ask for roosters and goats, ostensibly to help them perform the

disorders (psychiatric disorders that cause unexplained physical

ever amount of money that the aamil demands. Many aamils also magic. And the women, who want to protect their families from the black magic that they think has been performed on them, are more than willing to comply with their demands. Still, the

protection that they buy is often questionable, since they have no means of ascertaining whether a given aamil is genuine or not.

Indeed, it is hard to tell what exactly one means when one talks of a ‘genuine aamil’. Disappointed with the advice and effectiveness of one aamil, a client may turn to another, who will discred-

it the former aamil further, casting doubts on his work. There is no way to verify whether it is the spells and amulets that have

es adversely affect physiological functioning) and somatoform symptoms) so that the person exhibits physiological effects along

with hypertension, migraines, hysterical outbursts and halluci-

nations. According to Ms Rubina Feroz, Psychologist and Head of

the Department of Psychology at Karachi University, “If a person has a staunch belief in magic and its power, the very thought of

being under a spell can have disastrous effect on him.” Of course,

the reverse is also true she adds, saying “since their belief in their spiritual healers is so strong, when they go to their soothsayers, it has a placebo effect on them and they feel healed.” a

brought about changes, and sometimes a good bedside manner is all that is really needed to keep a client satisfied.

Ahmed recounts how one of his close friends, whom we’ll call

Farid, always had the gift of the gab and a keen sense of observation but wasn’t particularly successful in finding a job. One

day he simply packed up and shifted to a new locality where no

one knew him. Without any knowledge of spiritual matters, he opened an astaana and presented himself as a powerful aamil.

He was able to get many clients until an influential family came

to him for help. The mental health of their son had greatly deteriorated, and they believed it was the result of a curse. The fake aamil demanded Rs30,000 and guaranteed that the patient

would be fine in a few days. But the deception could not last long, and when the family discovered that they had been duped, they beat him up badly and left his reputation in tatters.

There are many conmen like Farid out there, busily scamming

the gullible. Shazia, a 30-year-old resident of PECHS has been a victim of these spiritual swindlers. A year after her marriage, her

life became a living nightmare. She believed that someone put a

curse on her husband, which destroyed his once-prospering ca-

reer. Despite being highly educated and experienced in his field,

he was rejected everywhere he applied. The couple started falling sick frequently and medicines had no effect on them. “I wouldn’t be able to recite the Quran or pray, as every time I did, something terrible would happen to us,” she recalls with a quivering voice.

She sought the help of a practitioner of the dark arts who

charged her Rs70,000 but only ended up making matters worse.

This wasn’t the only time she was tricked. In her effort to break

the effects of the enchantment, she suffered at the hands of numerous charlatans. Finally, she found a religious scholar who

advised her to resume her prayers. He then guided her through certain duas and helped her regain her peace of mind. For all of this, he didn’t charge a dime.

A twisted perception of reality is common in those who believe

they have been the victims of black magic. The belief can cause

Aamil Online No longer do you have to go through shady back alleys and astaanas in squalid locations to reach an aamil to solve your supernatural problems. Now help is just a mouse-click away. With today’s techsavvy aamils, one only has to log onto the internet to learn how to reverse any and all black magic spells from which one may or may not be suffering. If you believe that someone is blocking your marriage or causing you to become infertile, a simple, step by step ‘amal’ is available online to not only break the spell, but send it back to the one who cursed you in the first place! And if you’ve got a problem that hasn’t already been experienced by someone or the other out there, the aamil’s phone number is conveniently available in a sidebar for those who want a personal touch.

13 31 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

COMMENT

magic and superstition

an islamic perspective

BY KHALID ZAHEER

34 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

There are two domains of human experiences of the observed phenomena: one is based on explainable cause-effect relationship of events and the other purports to phenomena that escape the notice of the human eye as well as defy human intelligence. While the first category of experiences is the province of Science and is subjected to continuous study and appraisal, the second category is unclear because there is normally no way of intelligently grasping and, at times, confirming the veracity of it. Magic and superstition belong to the latter category.

Sulaiman, AH, (Solomon) of having indulged in magic (Quran;

True Islamic understanding would encourage scientific en-

(Quran; Surah Al-Naml). Thus supernatural happenings, other

quiry and put no restrictions on its pursuit, except the ones that

are either immoral or faith-challenging. In both cases, Islam would expect its intelligent followers to put across its case to

2:102). Instead, it is the disbelievers, it clarifies, who indulged in

it. Thus the book mentions the fact that magic is an evil reality that causes the one doing it to be described as someone disbelieving.

There is another relevant clarification the Quran makes. This

is that there are some extraordinary happenings in our surround-

ings the occurrence of which human logic cannot grasp and yet these do not fall in the category of magic and are therefore not

evil. A man during Solomon’s time, according to the Quran, for instance, was able to cause the throne of Queen Sheba (Bilqis)

to be removed from its place of origin to another one in no time than the miracles caused directly by God, can be both evil and non-evil.

How do magic and magic-like phenomena come about? It

show that the apparent scientific enquiry is either immoral or il-

seems that apart from the extraordinary feats of modern-day Sci-

very careful while dealing with experiences that have to do with

effect relationship, there is another world of potential out-

logical. However, Islamic guidance would urge its followers to be

magic and superstition since they derive their conclusions from the unseen world.

There are two different questions that arise about magic: Is it a

reality? Are Muslims allowed to indulge in it?

The first question is not primarily religious in nature. It is a

matter of human experience whether magic actually exists or

ence, which can be understood through a logic based on causestanding feats which is based on a similar relationship which as yet has not been properly studied and understood. One way

of achieving those feats is evil, often referred to as black magic,

which is declared as disbelief by the Quran while another is morally neutral.

Another point which verse 102 of Surah al-Baqarah, the second

not. However, it seems from the mention in some passages of

chapter of the Quran, clarifies is the fact that while black magic

that every claim of magic is true. Many people believe that magic

carries the possibility of misuse (Quran; 2:102).

the Quran that magic is a reality. That doesn’t necessarily mean

was the cause of an event, even though their claim might be un-

is forbidden, the antidote of it is allowed even though the latter Superstition is primarily a faith-like understanding that a cer-

founded. However, some claims of the phenomenon of unseen

tain event happens because of another seemingly unrelated one.

common human experience and logic can be true. The fact that

religiously valid justification. It is in effect another faith which

forces causing certain things to happen in a way that defies

Musa, AH, (Moses) confronted a bunch of magicians who caused

ropes to appear like snakes is a case in point (Quran; 7:116). The Quran also mentions the fact that some people wrongly accused

The cause-effect relationship is based on neither scientific nor

is based on neither textual nor logical religious grounds. Considering a black cat crossing one’s path as a bad omen is one of the

many examples of superstitious beliefs. A degenerated religious society abounds in superstition. While Islamic faith is based on

sound reasoning as is evident from the verses of the Quran, su-

It seems from the mention in some passages of the Quran that magic is a reality. That doesn’t necessarily mean that every claim of magic is true.

perstition is completely devoid of reasoning except a vague reference to the experiences of some individuals.

A superstitious individual can never be confident in taking de-

cisions nor can he ever have a clear faith in the fact that it is only one God who alone is running the affairs of this world. It is a part of the belief of a superstitious individual that many different, unrelated forces cause events to happen in this world. Superstition thus leads to polytheism which is an understanding that

there are many gods who are simultaneously responsible for running this world. Monotheism, the cornerstone of Islamic faith, is based on the principle that this world was created, and is run, by one God alone. a

35 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

FEATURE

no

strin attached

‘For those who believe, no explanation is necessary; for those who do not believe, no explanation will suffice.’ — Joseph Dunninger

BY AMEER HAMZA PHOTOS: NEFER SEHGAL

Shamsher produces a pack of cards. “Pick one,” he says. I oblige and see that it is the king of spades.

“Put it back face down,” he says. Obediently, I put it face down on top of the deck in his palm. “Now watch,” he orders. He shuffles the deck; his hands moving deftly as he riffles, strips and slides the cards. “We’ll use a locater card to help us find your card,” he

explains and picks up the first card from the deck; it is the ten

of spades. “Hold it between your thumb and index finger,” he

says and I oblige. He looks at the deck in his hands and cuts it.

He slowly searches for my card. The seconds tick by and finally

he admits “sometimes this trick doesn’t work, but...” I suddenly have the sinking feeling that I have been holding my card all along. I turn it over and there it is... the king of spades.

Shamsher Razzak does not look like a magician, he does not

possess a waxed moustache twirled at the ends nor does he sport a top hat and coat-tails. Although I admit that is not how magicians dress these days but that is the first image that comes to

38 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Shamsher Razzak does not look like a magician, he does not possess a waxed moustache twirled at the ends nor does he sport a top hat and coat-tails.

ngs

mind when someone mentions a magician. “I think the costume is too old school,” explains Shamsher, “I think I am more David Blaine than Harry Houdini.”

Shamsher is not a full-time magician, he is actually a cadet

pilot in the PIA, “My father is a pilot and I have been sitting in a cockpit since I was a kid,” explains Shamsher, “I always had a

passion for it, you get to tour the world. Flying is a life of adventure.”

Shamsher started practising magic when he was 15 years old

after a neighbour gifted him a book on magic. “I was instantly

hooked, he explains, “I started watching magicians on TV and figured out how to do some of the tricks on my own.”

You probably have seen him on a variety of local TV channels

but what Shamsher aspires for is to do a live show. “People usual-

ly come up and argue that it’s all camera tricks. I want to do a live show so people can see it with their own eyes.” He receives a vari-

ety of responses to his magic. “People are usually astonished but in one of my TV appearances a caller said that what I was doing was black magic but I set the record straight,” says Shamsher.

Shamsher aspires to one day saw himself in half, in front of a

live audience. “I want to do it without a box or curtain obstructing the view, it’s something that’s never been done in Pakistan,”

said Shamsher, adding “a lot of things I do are a first in Pakistan.”

The magic scene in Pakistan consists mostly of parlour tricks

and simple sleight of hand illusions which are quite popular at children’s birthday parties and such. A simple internet search

reveals that a reasonable number of local magicians are listed on international websites, with one magician even claiming to have the ability to make the Minaar-e-Pakistan disappear. “There are

not a lot of professional magicians,” Shamsher explains. “Some

have contacted me after seeing me perform on TV but magic in

Pakistan is something that is usually seen at kids’ parties and is not really that big here.”

Shamsher picks his pack of cards again. “Pick one,” he says.

It’s the queen of hearts. “Put it back face down,” he orders. He then starts shuffling and invites me to shuffle as well so I can make sure he hasn’t rigged the deck. I shuffle the deck and hand

it back to him.”Now picture your card in your head,” he says. He

picks out five cards from the top of the deck and asks me to tell him if my card is one of them but not to reveal what my card is.

Surely enough, my card is one of the five he has picked out. He hands me the deck while he holds on to the five cards he picked

out earlier. His hand hovers over the five cards and he makes a throwing motion at the deck in my hands. “Turn over the first card of the deck in your hand,” he says. I turn it over and there it

is: the queen of hearts. He shows me the cards in his hand, but strangely enough he now only has four cards instead of five.

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

39

FEATURE Magicians usually have a stage name, the amazing this, the

great that - but Shamsher prefers to call himself by his birth name. “I always wondered, if I did keep a stage name what could it be?” he says, “I would never put great or amazing before my name, I think it’s too egotistical.“

Shamsher is sort of an all rounder in magic, dabbling in all the

different branches. “I do all kinds of magic but these days I am very much in to mentalism,” says Shamsher. Mentalism or mental magic is where the practitioner appears to have highly developed mental or intuitive abilities. “It is a more mature form of

magic,” he explains, “It is kind of like neurolinguistic programming or psychological direction. Basically it is the study of human behaviour.”

A mentalist can literally guide a person to behave in a certain

manner and it is one of the hardest forms of magic but it is incredibly useful in real life. “You can tell people’s moods, how

they feel or even if they are lying but it’s not 100% accurate as it is in fact a series of educated guesses,” he says.

When asked if it was like his super power, Shamsher says:

“Well not really, I prefer to look at it as a slight advantage, it’s not something you can control people with.”

Shamsher suddenly points at my watch, “Want to see some-

thing cool?” he asks. I nod and he motions for my watch. I hand

it over and he looks it over. He hands it back to me and tells me to look at the second hand, the hand is steadily moving, his hand hovers over my watch and suddenly the second hand stops!

Shamsher has also dabbled in minor illusions like levitat-

ing and making spoons bend, “I won’t call myself am illusion-

ist; an illusionist is someone who makes elephants disappear.”

The question is, could he make the Mazar-e- Quaid disappear?

“I could, but some heavy duty capital is needed to pull that off,” he jokes.

Shamsher has fashioned himself around his idols, the magi-

cian/endurance artist David Blaine and Criss Angel, the stuntman magician. “David Copperfield is another favourite magician of mine, he is a great illusionist,” he says, “he is a brilliant

performer; magic is useless if you don’t have flourish and Copperfield has it in spades.”

Shamsher picks his deck of cards again. “Pick one,” he says

again. I oblige, it’s the seven of clubs. He motions for it and I hand it over. He keeps the card in the palm of his left hand while

his right hand hovers over it. The card trembles and starts to levitate, it suddenly leaps out of his hand, it glides and twirls like a jet until Shamsher deftly catches it with his right hand.

He did it a few more times to prove that it wasn’t a one-time

thing. Don’t worry, I checked. There are no strings attached.a

40 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Shamsher aspires to one day saw himself in half, in front of a live audience. “I want to do it without a box or curtain obstructing the view, it’s something that’s never been done in Pakistan”

TRAVEL Off the beaten path, Neelum Valley offers you a chance to get away from the trials and tribulations of city life and explore one of the most beautiful places on the planet, right here in Pakistan.

heavens unl

BY HAMZA NASEEM IQBAL

42 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

nleashed The valley is connected by a road that snakes alongside the Neelum River and ends at the village of Taobat. For the journey you will require a 4x4 jeep, and it is also advisable to make accommodation arrangements in advance for all the places you will be stopping at en route.

A land of blue waters, panoramic valleys and breathtaking greenery, home to God’s manifestations of beauty in nature is the Neelum Valley, one of Pakistan’s most enchanting tourist destinations. Those who have set foot on this land call it heaven on earth.

To spend some time away from the boiling city heat and es-

cape from the overcrowded hill stations, all you need is some financial backing and an open mind to venture beyond your comfort zone, and into the untouched.

Situated in the Azad Kashmir region, this dream valley

stretches from about 50 km north of Muzaffarabad till the existing Line of Control between Azad Kashmir and Indian Kash-

mir. The valley is connected by a road that snakes alongside the Neelum River and ends at the village of Taobat.

The valley features a number of small village settlements,

trekking trails, lakes, mountain passes and other unique scenic features which are spread all over the valley. Halfway along your journey on the first day, you will land at Keran. Exploring this beautiful village on the banks of the River Neelum is the closest you may get to Indian Kashmir, which lies just across

the river. The riverbed here is narrow, and you can see past the

gushing waves of the river to a very similar life on the other

side: women sowing seeds in the fields, children playing along the banks and astonishingly similar wooden houses in the middle of grassy fields.

The two main destination points are Sharda, a quiet village

one kilometre off the main road and connected via a hanging bridge, and Kel, the largest settlement in the entire region.

From Sharda, the mystical Noorinar top can be sighted touch-

ing the sky. This mountain pass connecting Neelum Valley to

the Kaghan Valley is a daring one-day trip for those who wish to take their adventure to the next level. This pass is marked by

beautiful slopes at a stunning elevation of 13,000 ft and is decorated with endless beds of wild flowers.

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

43

FEATURE

While these specific tourist attractions form the major chunk of amusement in Neelum Valley, you will need more than just curiosity to enjoy the subsequent destinations that Neelum has to offer.

On a day’s trek from the beautiful village of Dwarian is the

Ratti Gali Lake, undoubtedly a tourist’s favourite retreat. The lake, situated at the border between Neelum Valley and Kaghan Valley, at an elevation of 14,000 ft, features grassy meadows that beg you to tread upon them barefoot.

To enjoy the other destinations that Neelum has to offer, you

will need more than just curiosity. On the way from Keran to

Kel, is the majestic 50m Machal waterfall, which combines the

excitement of a hundred cold showers. Upon reaching Machal,

you can pull out a pair of Bermudas and push yourself into a shower you will never forget.

Night travel is highly recommended as the idea is to savour

every moment of your adventure. If your vehicle has a sunroof,

stick out your head and feel the swift air blow across your face as your jeep lights navigate through the darkness.

Every nature exploration trip has its climax and Neelum Val-

ley offers its own at Taobat. The village is a few kilometres short

of the Line of Control, at the point where Neelum River enters Azad Kashmir. At the heart of this small village, surrounded by green meadows, flows the Taobat Nala or Taobat stream, with

its blue waters reflecting the colours of the sky and its swift flow irrigating the corn fields alongside its bank. Crossing to the other side of the stream, you will find yourself at the banks

of the Neelum River emerging from a narrow gorge at the far

end of the valley. Vast grassy fields at the base of surrounding mountains, alongside the Neelum River, are of a unique kind you will rarely find elsewhere.

Since nights and early mornings are a special time at Taobat, I

spent some time one night beside the Taobat nala admiring the

overwhelming aura of the moonlit valley. As the late hours of

the night approached, the moon slowly peeked in from behind the gigantic silhouettes of the surrounding mountains, its silver blaze increasingly reflecting onto the gleaming Taobat Nala,

44

as the voice of the stream echoed through the deafening silence.

It is very difficult to explain Neelum in terms of an ordinary

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

tourist attraction. You will not find bazaars promoting attrac-

tive regional delicacies for lunch, salesmen running around shouting ‘saab sasta room attach bath’, or roadside hotels pro-

viding attractive night-in deals. Instead, you will find nature at its purest; a small khokha offering lobia chaawal under a tree’s peaceful shade, and a few blokes smoking pipes, least bothered about the beauty surrounding them.

The rare specialty of the Neelum Valley lies in the variety of

experiences that it has to offer. From dusty rocky roads to beau-

tiful winding treks, from heavenly green pastures to crystal clear waterfalls, and from excellent camping grounds to well-

maintained hotel accommodations, Neelum Valley is a com-

plete tourist package for all those who appreciate nature at its best.

You may be a parent looking for a long due family vacation

with your grown up kids, or a group of young people in search

for an adrenaline rush, or honeymooners looking for a memorable night-out under the moon, or a solo traveller in search of

his/her soul in the purity of nature, Neelum Valley has all that you need.a

How to get there: To begin your journey you need to take the new Murree Road in Islamabad and drive up the mountain until you reach the hill station. From there on the road starts its descent into Kashmir. Once you reach Muzaffarabad the real adventure begins, you will require a 4x4 jeep for the rest of your journey because of the dirt tracks left behind as a result of the catastrophic earthquake of 2005. It is also advisable to make accommodation arrangements in advance.

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

45

ADVICE

mr know it all From relationship blues to money woes, Mr Know It All has the answers!

Q. Dear Mr Know It All,

I’m in sort of a sticky situation. I come from a big family which scarily reminds me

of the movie Hum Saath Saath Hain. We do everything together. We live together, eat

together, go for dinners, outings, trips, picnics together. You name it, we do it. But re-

cently I’ve been getting weird vibes from my cousin. He lives with me and my family,

and these days he’s been staring at me and asking weird questions like what I think

about love. I’m trying to avoid him as much as possible but it seems as if he likes me. It gives me the creeps just to think about it. It’s disgusting because he’s like the brother

I never had. But now I can’t hang out with him anymore because I don’t want him to think that I’m willing to return the feelings. Maybe I’m over-thinking this, but this is

really bothering me. I don’t know how to tell him to stop being creepy and go back to the brotherly cousin he was. What do I do?

Together forever

A. The catalogue of human mating cues is vast and complex; there are frequent and

awkward communication glitches and faux pas, and you seem to have caught yourself

in the worst of situations. Unfortunately for you, the person you’re irked by also lives right down the hall, so you can’t shut him out completely; he’s a part of the song-

singing, picnic-going love fest you describe your family to be. If you do something dramatic, it will only serve to make things fester. So, instead of shooting yourself in

the head just because the idea of being with a cousin is so abominable, I suggest you

make extra effort to be as unwomanly as possible around him. When he asks you what you think about love, instead of biting your lips and coyly declaring you don’t know,

throw your hands up in the air and pretend to fume because, well, it’s a propaganda of course, bhai jan! Use the words Israel and Blackwater in abundance. If he doesn’t

take you seriously, offer to wrestle him. The idea is to make him believe you’ve gone absolutely bonkers... yeah, that always does the trick!

46 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

Q. Dear Mr. Know it All

There’s this guy that I love very much and he loves me too, but

something has gone wrong and I can’t figure out why he’s behav-

ing so strangely these last few months. No matter what I do for him, he always complains that it’s not enough. I’ve tried my best to change myself for him, but I feel he takes me for granted. For

four years he’s been feeding me empty promises about meeting my parents and asking for my hand but to no avail. He is cur-

rently jobless and studying. I admit that parents do look for these things as well, but I only ask him to get engaged to me officially

for now. He never wants to listen and always makes fun of me.

He also underestimates me at times, and I feel really bad about

it. I am 28-years-old and he is a year older. I have been refusing many other proposals for him and now my parents want a rea-

son for this. I’ve tried my best to move this relationship forward

there are plenty others out there who’ll gladly use you and treat

you like scum, but without letting you on like this. Believe me, this guy of yours is a labelled landmine and you want to stay as

far away from him as possible if you’re the kind of girl that grew up dreaming of a fairytale wedding. He’s been playing you for

years, and I find no valid reason to suspect he plans on transform-

ing into the charming prince you want him to become anytime soon… and since soon is when you’d like to get married and stop playing this dreary boyfriend-taming game, I suggest you agree

to go husband-shopping with your mom, find self-satisfaction

and become intolerably irritating … because it sure beats the hell out of playing doormat for an unappreciative dud!

Q. Dear Mr Know It All,

I can’t stand my boss. She is lazy and delegates all her work to

and strengthen our bond but he is still standing at the same po-

me while she watches Indian soap operas in her office. I can’t

derstand” and “I am studying and jobless”. What should I do in

credit for my work and has never given me a good performance

sition as four years ago. All I get to hear from him is “Try to unthis situation? I don’t even know where I stand with him and the stress is affecting my physical and mental health. Please help me … I dont want to lose him.

Absolutely clueless

A. If I had a rupee for every time I received an email from a

lassie like you who’s gone loco-in-love for a narky, uncoopera-

say no to her and the work keeps piling up on my desk. She takes review. She takes long lunch breaks, is on personal phone calls

or out of the office with her cell phone often, yet no one seems to notice or care. I can’t go up to her and tell her to do her job, she’ll just fire me. What should I do?

Workplace drama

A. Few things in life are more annoying than a difficult boss.

tive dude who also happens to be lazier than a La-Z-Boy chair,

It’s bad enough if she’s a dragon lady, but if she’s the kind that

French chateau right now instead of writing this column! Seri-

ing office hours, then God help you! In a situation that leaves you

I would be relaxing with a good book in the orchard behind my

ously, woman, do yourself and me a favour and put your grey

cells to work here. Ask yourself again why you’re so besotted with this guy. Is it his bad-boy ways? Because if it is, then I assure you

enjoys watching saas-bahus tomfooleries on her private TV durfew options, you gotta do what you gotta do: tell the woman off!

I know this might sound like a dreadful idea right now, but think of it as a challenge that might actually set you free. First, disabuse yourself of any notions of civility and professionalism be-

cause this will be a tricky move to make, especially if you want to ILLUSTRATION: JAMAL KHURSHID

come out of it unscathed, without permanently damaging your

ego and career. As soon as you sense the relationship souring, which it will, tell as many people as you can about the woman’s

philistine habits. This won’t just give you ammo for a harassment suit if you’re fired, but it also means that any derogatory comments or intolerable assignments will be seen as sour grapes

and revenge on her part, automatically rendering you the poor unsuspecting victim.

The office environment is a fertile petri dish for petty disputes

and awkward confrontations where winning and losing depends on who hog-ties who first. Play it right, and this one’s all yours! a

Got a problem you just can’t solve? Mail us at magazine@tribune.com.pk and let

47

our very own whiz take a crack at it!

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

REVIEW

book `

alice in charya-land

BY AMMARA KHAN

Our Lady of Alice Bhatti is a tale of love, death, bigotry and violence.

It deals with life in its raw form and deconstructs it to the very core.

It is a love story of Alice Bhatti, a Catholic woman who has just been released from prison and finds a job as a junior nurse at the Sacred Heart Hospital, and Teddy Butt, the former Mr Faisalabad, who works as a part-time extra legal enforcer for the Karachi police. This, however, is just one of the many tiers of the narrative structure of the novel.

Mohammad Hanif’s angry humour doesn’t just question the traditional norms of society, it also undermines the life we have come to accept as ‘normal’. As the novel starts off, the characters seem distant and rather two-dimensional but after a few pages one gets to know them through many unsettling yet humorous revelations. Hanif does not try to write how his characters feel, but instead strives to familiarise the inherently complex strain of human thought process from a safe distance — making it quite difficult for the reader to decide their feelings about these characters till the very end. As for the titular character, Alice Bhatti is funny and dark, arguably Hanif’s best creation. The uneasy humour can be very disturbing at times, but that is the point of the novel; to question, in a very disinterested way, all that is against humanist values.

The portrayal of a three-day violence spree following the firing of a Mauser is one of the many hyperbolic events that, despite their nonsensical overtones, are apt descriptions of the insignificance of human life in our society. You won’t find neat abstracts like cruelty, life, death, love, violence and beauty here — they all spill into one another in a pastiche of human emotions, in a world that resembles the Charya Ward where everything is ‘normal’.

Hanif never seeks to provide psychological insight into his characters. If he did, his novel would have been sublimely tragic but not at all humorous. However, he uses his characters and narrative to expose an entire society in all its complexity and contradictions. In 48 other words, he is a cultural anatomist, employing a vast range of SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

mad men The world that Hanif creates is like the charya ward, where everything is normal and nothing is sardonic literary motifs to highlight the hierarchical structure of our society and its inequities.

An episodic narrative that is in a constant state of frenzy and employs a multi-layered dark humour, Our Lady of Alice Bhatti occupies a subtle place between absurdism and social-satire. The characters are in a helpless state of alienation that does not end even with mutual love which serves rather as a temporary escape. A land where weapons are the most effective and easiest way of communication, the characters are not only incapable of meaningful human interaction but are self-estranged too. The inability of various characters in the novel to exist in harmony paints a wasteland where people wallow in their own filth and derive satisfaction from belittling others.

Hanif has created a distinctly indigenous dark humour in Our Lady of Alice Bhatti that has the potential to become an iconic description of not only this generation but the era as well.

51

REVIEW

film `

sal-man at work

BY SAIM SADIQ

For an instant, it almost seemed pointless to review a film like Bodyguard, simply because of how insignificant a small piece of writing can seem in front of the mega-blockbuster that Salman Khan now seems to deliver on a semester basis. For a film that has already made hundreds of crores in India and Pakistan alone, who wants to know what the critics think anyways? Certainly not the makers of this film.

Yet, it is imperative to establish that the critic is only a viewer with a voice that can resonate outside of the cinema hall. As for the cinema hall — well, I saw the film with a crowd that unanimously laughed at the film’s climactic moment, in which a sleepy five-yearold approaches a woman he has met moments before and asks her “Kya aap meri mummy bano gi?”

Yes, this is that sort of a film: it starts off with an action sequence, and turns into a comedy before it finally becomes a love story. The plot, if it can be called that, revolves around Divya (played by a ravishing Kareena Kapoor) who pretends to play a phone call lover to Lovely Singh (played by Salman Khan), who happens to be her bodyguard.

And yes, this is why the film is called that, subtlety be damned!

While Bodyguard is not completely unwatchable, it is still devastating to see a megastar — with enough power to convince half the world’s cine-going population to spend Rs350 to watch him do his workout — resort to making a film in which the size of a fat guy and the height of a dwarf are the source of all jokes. And the insensitivity wouldn’t matter one bit if the jokes actually worked. They don’t.

Which is why, surprisingly, the so-called entertainer of the masses ends up being such a big bore for the most part.

You don’t expect Bodyguard to be an Oscar contender or to innovate storytelling methods, yet the least a film like this could do would be to ensure that its emotionally charged, melodramatic climax — lifted off from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai — doesn’t end up becoming its funniest moment.

The point is that the film is not doing great business because of its 50 SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

let’s watch Salman Khan work out, again?

Salman Khan has enough star power to convince half the world’s cinegoing population to spend Rs350 just to watch him do his workout aforementioned shortcomings but despite them. And that is thanks to two genuinely appealing stars. Salman Khan, to be fair, tries to pull off a softer, mellower image. And while not entirely unsuccessful, he still hasn’t realised the extent of his responsibility towards cinemagoers; when he does, he’ll be able to focus and utilise his star power for making great movies instead of just great money.

Kareena Kapoor, clearly the finest out of the current Bollywood lot, looks absolutely stunning throughout and manages to miraculously salvage a handful of moments with her effervescence. The rest of the cast is nothing to write home about, except that ridiculous fat guy who ends up being the most irritating, unfunny character I have ever seen on screen.

So that’s it from my side. You’ll probably watch this film anyways, because you’re still curious to know what the whole hoopla is about, Khan and the producers will probably come up with a sillier sequel two years later and make bagfuls of money. But when you’re plodding through the so-bad-it’s-good climax of the film, remember — I warned ya. a

51

THE HATER

10 things I hate about ... rain

1 2 3 4 5 52

BY SABA KHALID

The Facebook revelations. You don’t need to peer out-

side your window to discover it is raining because some overexcited idiot will already have updated their Face-

book status to two hearts around the word ‘rain’. How the hell do they even know how to make those hearts?

6 7 8 9 10

The leaky house. Although I have a pretty sturdy, well-

built house which, by US army standards, may even be considered a ‘fortress’, ‘castle’ or ‘luxury compound’

(wow, they have low standards), come rain or sometimes even shine, it leaks from every possible crevice. If the so-

called ‘fortress’ can break down like this, it makes you wonder what others around the city are going through!

How ugly the entire city looks. Am I the only one who finds dead cats and dogs floating around everywhere,

sewers exploding in your face, stranded cars on the street, and naked kids swimming in pools of dirty water kind of disturbing?

The extra work that ensues before, during and after the

rain. There’s my Mum maniacally wiping away water with her trusty wiper, there’s me filling up buckets of

water from all the leaky holes in our ceiling, and finally there’s my Dad screaming obscenities at everyone from

the cable-walla to our government. That’s so important, Dad!

The casualties that come with the rains: disease, electrocutions, drownings, road accidents … the list goes on!

The pretty name given to this evil. We don’t even try being creative with it, we just call it the same each year — ‘monsoon’. While the words ‘Hurricane Katrina’ bring to mind the image of a psychotic witch cackling as she

points her wand at the winds and skies, bringing disaster everywhere, ‘monsoon’ sounds like a beautiful maid-

en picking up white daisies and enjoying a quick drizzle.

Electricity woes. It’s a rule of thumb that if we’re all

miserable, our electricity suppliers have every right to

make us even more miserable. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that there is no electricity until and unless

the rain stops. Even when the rain does stop, the lights

don’t come back because the electricity wallas are probably out dancing in the rain.

The happy troopers on the street with their woofers,

loud bicycles, and cheesy grins. I think when the rain starts pouring down, it probably melts away the cere-

bral cortex of certain gentlemen on the street, leading to crazy motorcycle stunts, and performances such as

standing on top of a shaky car, and dancing on top of a moving bus that may well put Shahrukh Khan and Jackie Chan to shame.

SEPTEMBER 25-OCTOBER 1 2011

The real cherry on top of this tragic cake of misfortune is

that everyone will stop delivering food. So for the last few days, not only has there been no electricity, I have also

been forced to subsist on a diet of home-made loki, bhindi

and tinday which my mother keeps telling me are really

“yummy aloos in disguise”. Why can’t the restaurants just hire the crazy motorcycle stuntmen as delivery boys?

The lack of empathy or any sort of assistance shown by our government. While entire cities and towns

drown in despair, our leaders frolic around the world.

Of course, they do take out enough time to urge hard-

working, honest people to donate their money, or sit through meetings with the UN secretary general in order to plead for money for the flood victims which we all know is sure to be misused like always.