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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 2, 2011
Going bananas! Maze The monkey has a craving for banana. Draw the path through the maze to the banana, starting at 5 and counting by 5s up to 500.
We are smooth, yellow, crescent-shaped and soft. We have sweet, seedless, creamy-white flesh and pliable skin. We come in a bunch, and in green and red colours as well as yellow. We can be as short as 15cm or as long as 25cm and we’re four to five centimetres wide. Do you know who we are? Yes, you guessed it! We are bananas. The coolest of all fruits — that’s what my bunch and I think. You may think you know all about us — but there’s more to us and you’d better believe it!
We, the sweet yellow bananas, were discovered in 1836 by Jamaican Jean Francois Poujot, who found that one parent of our family was bearing us rather than our siblings. On tasting, he found us to be sweet in our raw state, and didn’t find the need for cooking. He quickly began cultivating us. Soon we were being imported from the Caribbean to New Orleans, Boston, and New York, and were considered an exotic treat. People gave us royal treatment. We were eaten on a plate using a knife and fork, unlike today.
Where did we come from?
You need nuclear science to extract juice from us!
We’ve been around for thousands of years. Scientists have evidence that we were discovered around 5000 BC and possibly even as long ago as 8000 BC. Some believe that we were the earth’s first fruit. We got our name from the Arabic word ‘Banan’ meaning finger. Antonius Musa, the personal physician to the Roman emperor Octavius Augustus, was the one who was credited for promoting our cultivation from 63 to 14 BC. Portuguese sailors brought us to Europe from West Africa in the early 15th century. Our Guinean name ‘banema’, which became banana in English, was first found in print in the 17th century. While we thrived in Africa, our origins are said to be in East Asia and Oceania.
Our parents … We don’t actually grow on trees. We’re grown on giant herbs related to the Lily and Orchid families. Our parent plants are palm-like, softstemmed herbs which can grow very tall. They are classified as herbs because they don’t have a strong woody stem. In fact, our parents are the world’s largest herbs. Our parents start producing us about 12 to 18 months after plantation. We grow in layers in a large bunch. A layer is called a hand and each hand has fingers, which is one of us. There can be eight to 12 hands per bunch and 12 to 16 of us in every hand. Do you know our parents bear only one bunch of bananas and then die? But luckily, before dying they shoot a new ‘eye’ (a baby plant) so that we can have more siblings.
SOURCE: WWW.PRINTACTIVITIES.COM
Red, yellow, green We used to be red and green, and not the yellow bananas you know today. We were used in cooking, but today our red and green siblings are referred to as plantains to distinguish them from us.
ha ha ha
Extracting juice from us isn’t easy at all, even though we contain 80 per cent water. Have you ever tried squeezing one of us? Sorry, but our molecular structure is just not very squeezable. We are currently available as banana shakes only. However, for some reason, in 2004, Indian atomic scientists at the Bhabha Atomic Research Centre claimed to have found a way to extract juice from us. Oh no! They will squeeze us!
Explore
And then, of course, there’s the popular idea that it is because of our peels that crew members slip and fall on deck.
wrap food, giving a unique flavour to the food. •The inside of our peel can be used to polish patent leather shoes. • In the Christian Bible, the forbidden fruit in the earthly paradise was the apple, but in Hinduism, it was us. • We are the world’s best-selling fruit, outranking the apple and the orange. • A man in India once ate 81 of us in half an hour. • Besides monkeys, reindeer also like eating us. • If you peel us from the bottom up you won’t get the strings on the flesh. • If you have a tough time falling asleep, eat one of us. Like a cup of warm milk, we are also a sleep enhancer.
Did you know? • Our cluster is called a ‘hand’ of bananas, while we as individuals are called fingers. • Alexander the Great first came across us in India in 327 B.C. • Our peel is edible, though not very palatable unless cooked. • India is our largest producer in the world. • In Uganda, we are such a big part of the diet that the same word, ‘matooke’, is used for both food and banana. • In 2001, Britain recorded 300 incidents of injuries related to us. The majority of these involved people slipping on our peels. • In the tropics, people sew the large leaves of our plants as plates for banquets. • When we are ripening, we emit such large amounts of the gas ethylene that we actually assist other fruits in ripening. • In South East Asia, our leaf is used to
Sailors don’t like us! Kids, do you think we could hurt anyone or be a bad omen in any way? But sailors believe that if we are on a boat, they won’t be able to catch fish. The origin of this belief dates back to the Caribbean trade of the 1700s. As the wooden sailing boats of that time had to move quickly to deliver us before we got spoiled, fishermen had a hard time trolling for fish on such fast-moving boats. Thus they started believing that we bring bad luck to them. During the same era, there were some sailors who believed that it was because of us that boats sank. This belief developed after many boats never made it to their destinations, and all of the doomed boats were unfortunately carrying us. Another creepy superstition about us is that a cargo carrying us could actually kill a man. But that’s not true. In reality, when we ferment trapped below deck, we emit methane gas which could possibly kill crew members unlucky enough to be working in the cargo storeroom. Then one of the popular theories about us was that venomous spiders would hitch rides inside us, and once we were onboard, the boat would be host to any number of lethal critters.
ILLUSTRATION: JAMAL KHURSHID
Why are bananas never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches. What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up. She left him out in the sun too long. Why don’t bananas snore? Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch. What key do you use to open a banana? A monkey. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well! Why couldn’t the police arrest the banana?
How to make
Monkey on a banana tree
How did the mother banana spoil the baby banana?
Materials needed • • • • • • • • • • •
Paper cup Green construction paper (12” x 18”) Green craft foam (12” x 9”) Printable card stock Crayons or paint Hole punch Scotch tape Pencil Ruler Scissors Craft scissors (optional)
5. 6. 7.
8.
Instructions 1.
2. 3. 4.
9.
Print out a monkey and bananas template from the internet on card stock or draw your own version on a construction paper. Cut out both the monkey and the bunch of bananas. Colour the monkey and bananas using crayons or paint. Colour both sides of the monkey. To make the tree trunk, you’ll need a 12 x 18 inch sheet of green construction paper. Roll the paper into a tall cone. Insert a paper
10. 11. 12. 13. 14.
cup at the base to provide support and to define the size of the tree’s base. The tip of the cone should have a small opening (around 1.5 to 2 inch diameter) for the leaves. Tape the edges of the paper tree trunk in place. Trim off any excess length of paper at the base and tape the paper cup to the base of the cone. To make the leaves, we need a 12 x 9 inch sheet of craft foam. Draw five evenly-spaced lines along the length of the foam sheet. Leave a two-inch margin at the top of each line. Cut along the lines. Curve the tips of each strip to make a tapering shape, similar to real banana leaves. While holding the foam sheet by the uncut edge, roll the whole piece into a cigar shape. Insert the craft foam roll through the top opening of the tree trunk. Open up the leaves one at a time. Use the banana bunch’s stem to hook onto the tree trunk. Bend and curl the monkey’s tail. Tape the monkey to the tree.
(1 (1) 1) 1)
((2))
((3) (3 3)) 3
(4) (4 4) 4)
(5) ((5 5)) 5
SOURCE: FIRSTPALETTE.COM
(6 ((6) 6) 6)
( ) (7)
(8) (8)
(9) (9 9)
(10 (10) 10 0)
(11) (1 ((11 11) 11
(12) (12 12)
(13) (13 (1 13 3)
((14) (1 (14 14 1 4)
Because he split.
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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 2, 2011
campus CAREER GUIDE
A day in the life of …
Taking notes? … Not quite! From inane lectures, boring teachers, and countdown to the bell to planning hangouts — it’s all about sneaky chits HIBA TOHID
SADYA SIDDIQUI
Obaid — an Assistant Manager Marketing Services at a local company.
Post-breakfast 8.57am: I am at the office on time so that I don’t get another “you need to come at a respectable hour” lecture from my boss. She’s late everyday but then she’s not the newbie. 9.50am: The conference room has a broken chair and the AC remote is missing when the advertising agency team arrives. The department secretary gave me a pink notebook when I asked for some stationery and now every meeting I sit in, someone always quips “nice notebook”. 10.15am: Now a debate is going on. It’s on the print ads for the upcoming product launch, which has been shuttling back and forth. The product team declares that the agency isn’t creative; the agency retorts that the product team is indecisive. I make drawings in my notebook with a serious face so that it looks like I’m taking notes. 11.20am: Trying to figure printer settings while making followup calls to vendors on the work-in-progress. My neighbour is least helpful since he wanted my position. He dresses up like John Travolta in Grease, which is probably the reason he didn’t get the job. 12:10pm: The two older nice guys who helped me settle in announce that I have to give them a treat for getting my first salary. They take out an email inviting 13 other people to lunch on my behalf.
“Hang out after the lecture?” the little scrap of paper changes hands across the row and soon the note starts getting scribbled with suggestions. “How about some place for coffee?” “Are you mad? It’ll be lunch time by then …” “Decide quickly … I’m starving!” “This lecture is SO boring! I want to get out of here!” “Hey did you catch the new episode of ‘Glee’?” “Focus guys! We can talk about “Glee” later at the café … by the way a new one has opened just around the corner from the campus!” “What say?” “We are SO getting caught today!” While the professor unfolds the mystery behind Newton’s laws of motion, a bigger predicament is being resolved on the back benches. The lecture will soon be over and the scribbling picks pace… Sitting in the corridors … writing on the desk … bunking a lecture … chilling at the cafeteria — these are some things which define college life and if you haven’t done them you haven’t been to college … in essence at least. One such guilty pleasure that almost any student would easily confess to (unless of course they bunked lectures) is of writing and passing notes in a lecture hall. While texting costs money and whispering would be too much of a risk espe-
cially with professor ‘hawk eye’ on the prowl scribbling out a note is the safest option left for that ‘oh so important’ chat that can never be as much fun if not done during a lecture. Innocently impish, the only high for these ‘note makers’ is to break the silence in the classroom without even making a decibel of sound. That gutsy act of passing out notes from one bench to the other right under the professor’s watchful eye is a feat to cherish and boast about while enjoying the mid-day snack. The sneaky little ‘note makers’ work is under the cover of taking actual notes while in reality, they are posting a shout out to a friend sitting right next to them. Peering thoughtfully at the professor and bobbing their heads every now and then in ritualistic understanding, clenching their chin between their thumbs and forefingers with a pen poking out, adding a touch of realism to this foolish charade, they furtively turn their heads down scribbling in the notebook as if fishing through the professor’s lecture. It is just in the moment that the professor turns away … the little chit is ripped out and with a swift sleight of hand passed down to the friend sitting in front. Phew! Let’s see if the friend is just as lucky in returning a reply. “My friends and I were once caught red handed!” recalls Samar, now a chartered accountant. “Ah it was bad! Standing outside the lecture hall for
stark display to the passersby with hands pulled up for a good half hour was quite edifying!” Samar laughs away while pressing out almost a decade old pain from his arms. The high point of these classroom raids is when the professor insists on reading the note that was being traded. Looking through those slender spectacles fixed on that sharp sleuthing nose lurking for anything fishy in his classroom; the professor examines the artfully prepared scrap of paper. The professor’s treatment thereon depends upon the gender caught and also the nature of the inscription. It may range from a ‘talk’ in the faculty lounge to a memorably embarrassing display in front of the whole lecture hall. “Oh so you like me? How kind of you sir! Look here the gentleman has finally confessed his love for biochemistry!” Ahmed, who is now a doctor, still blushes as he recalls his professor’s words with exact precision when he flaunted to a packed lecture hall a note of Ahmed’s that he was passing down to a class fellow who he had for so long wanted to confess his feelings to. Turns out that cupid’s arrow misfired and for a long time Ahmed was known as the biochemistry’s better half. “In a way I am glad I was caught that day and the note never reached the other row … because years later I met my wife … and it isn’t biochemistry!” he chuckles as he goes back into the lecture hall that
had filled with laughter that fine day. From romantic confessions and cheap flirtations to planning eat outs to even random exchanges in order to lighten up an otherwise dreary lecture hall, writing notes seems like a childish pursuit. Halfway between juvenile proclivities and grown up standards, this act of innocent delinquency is like a sugar rush for the college-going. Even the ‘villainous’ professor knows too well; maybe because he too has been there and done that! If it is not for his vigilant probing, passing around notes wouldn’t be half the fun that it becomes under strict surveillance. In all likelihood, the professor too is playing along with the amateurs if for nothing else then just to keep that traditional campus flavour alive which is just too sweet to give up. The lecture is long over and the sweeper enters to make the final cleaning strokes before locking the lecture hall. Somewhere in the midst of those packs of chips and juices and items that will soon be sitting in the ‘lost and found section’ there are torn bits of papers scrawled in different inks and handwritings. He looks intriguingly for a moment but then boorishly strokes away. Somewhere in the great landfill of time are all those little anecdotes that we all shared during college life. They may be trash now but the memories they bring back are a treasure too priceless.
12.45pm: Email from the Area manager of Central region on the Motorway branding delay. He writes that his ‘nose’ is at stake. I call him before replying to his email, which has nine people marked in it. The manager is nice on the phone and keeps saying, “theek ho gaya?” DESIGN : MOHSIN ALAM
Lunch hour Nine guys and four girls congratulate me and proceed to eat chicken chowmein and daal fry.
Post-lunch 2.30pm: Rewriting a memo for the sixth time now on the cost approval for the order of giveaways. Spellings are not my greatest strength. 3.31pm: The Brand Activation agency is here to resolve the payment dispute. The agreement says we will pay for 300 street theatre shows, but they say that the shows had to be utilised within 60 days. After an exchange of threats to blacklist each other, we agree on 30 more shows. 4.15pm: Head of Merchant Network summons me to his office to express his dismay over the colours of the plaques and certificates being designed for the year-end achievement awards. It’s always the people with the worst dress sense who complain about colours. 5.30pm: Meeting with South Sales team and the Outdoor Media agency — both parties accuse one another of delays and overcharging on fascia branding. There are five people at the round table, pointing fingers and shoving email printouts. I am really tired by now so I quietly sip my fourth cup of tea. 6.00pm: Client service guy who makes weird faces during meetings calls me to tell me that the posters and buntings artwork will be sent in the morning. This means that the deadline for the printed material distribution will not be met. Now I have to inform the printer to gear up for an urgent print job coming his way. 6:50pm: Boss off to the studio to see the first cut of the TVC. This is a cue for me to pack up and make a run for the Atrium to catch Kung Fu Panda 2 with my friends.
Key skills required for an Assistant Manager Marketing Services: 1) Advertising industry exposure. 2) Good time management skills. 3) Excellent Communication skills. 4) Above-average negotiation abilities. The writer is a personal branding consultant.
SNIPPET
ITEC 2011 Date: July 18, 2011 Venue: NED University of Engineering and Technology, Karachi Information Technology Exhibition & Competition (ITEC) is an annual mega IT event organised by the students of Department of Computer Science and Information Technology, NED University of Engineering and Technology, Karachi. It is an all Pakistan competition with the participation of almost all the major universities, sending their skilled students with IT niche. The core features of the event are seminars, competitions and match making pavilion. For further information and details e-mail at: info@neditec.org.pk.
You can send your contributions and suggestions to You can send your contributions and suggestions to t2@tribune.com.pk t2@tribune.com.pk
It’s not waste until you waste it Making the most of a piece of writing paper is another way to reduce waste on campus SAMEEN AMER
In the back row of a classroom, a pair of mischievous hands expertly transforms a dull handout into a paper plane. As soon as the teacher looks the other way, the projectile is launched, and flies gracefully over the heads of the two girls who are busy passing messages back and forth on torn scraps of paper and the boy who is doodling on his notebook instead of taking notes, before landing a few feet from its destination: the wastepaper basket. Little do they realise that all four of them have just contributed to the waste of a precious resource: paper. From books and notebooks to answer booklets, printouts, and handouts, paper is an integral part of school and university life, silently and faithfully helping students during their learning period. Perhaps because it is so ubiquitous and easy to take for granted, we hardly ever stop
and think about it; even more so, it is often easy to overlook the fact that paper is made from trees, and that its wastage has both economic and environmental costs. Beginning from the admission process with brochures and applications, and ending at the answer booklet for the very last exam (or even at receiving the final transcript and degree), students leave behind a long paper trail. But as inevitable as this usage may be, an unnecessary and avoidable waste of paper often goes unnoticed. This misuse is prevalent at all levels: students print on one side of a paper, sometimes even write on one side of the sheet, and discard notebooks at the end of a semester even when there are blank pages left; teachers print unnecessary handouts, and ask students to turn in printed or written work instead of emailing it; prints
are taken without proofing, and then discarded because of minor errors; at some places that offer free printing facilities, pages that were printed are never picked up; multiple sheets are stapled together to make answer booklets for examinations, and even if one page is used, the entire booklet is considered useless; and much more. Such waste, however, can be avoided and we can conserve resources by taking small steps such as the following: • Avoid printer abuse: For rough drafts, print on both sides of the paper, try to use narrow margins, and reduce font size if possible. If the document is for submission, make sure that it is error free before clicking print. • Reuse paper: Utilise old notebooks with unused pages for rough work; reuse erroneous printed documents as scrap paper for notes; use the blank
sides of pages no longer required as a scratch pad. • Use electronic transmission and copies: Ask to submit assignments electronically, if possible; use softcopies of documents when convenient; see if the notes that are being sent to parents can be emailed, or use a sibling list to prevent duplicates. • Minimise waste in other areas: Recycle unwanted paper; photocopy on both sides; go for reusable cups and plates in the café instead of paper ones; carry a handkerchief instead of using tissue papers; avoid the use of paper towels; minimise the use of post-it notes; and submit books no longer needed to a library or book bank. If we try, we can all find ways that are relevant to our situation, and can help save paper and the resources used to make it as well as decrease the waste created by its misuse.
DESIGN : SAMAD SIDDIQUI
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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 2, 2011
blogosphere
equality for all? Trending Topic
Is gay rights an issue? @Isa Aldrete: We should never ever just sweep things under the carpet, no matter how long it may take. The more it is spoken of, the more people will question and hopefully, begin to realize that gay people are people and deserve respect and safety.
@Ali: It certainly looks like a long way to have gay rights in Pakistan. The argument that they get rights in the US or the western world after a long hard struggle, and therefore should be given the same in Pakistan is faulty in principle.
@Faraz: Here, thousands have died over minor sectarian differences, and you are talking of gay rights! The governor got killed for meeting a poor lady who was imprisoned for blasphemy, and people showered petals on the murderer. Which Pakistan are you talking about?
Gay rights in Pakistan: Is it time?
Yes, it is RABAYL MANZOOR
Earlier this month, for the first time in its history, the United Nations (UN) passed a resolution to protect and uphold gay rights universally. The US Department of State successfully lobbied to bring under the banner of universal declaration of human rights, equal rights for lesbians, gays, and transgender people. The resolution was passed with 23 affirmations against 19 disavowals. While some celebrate this momentous step, it is sobering to note that it took the UN this long to recognise the oppressive violence faced by homosexuals. Excerpts from some of the speeches on the floor were posted on the United Nations blog including this statement from Pakistan “while considering the issue of human rights many things must be kept in mind… these things [gay rights] have nothing to do with fundamental human rights.” Similar repudiations citing religion, cultural and sociological arguments were made by Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Ghana, Nigeria, Mauritania, Uganda and several other Organisation for the Islamic Conference (OIC) countries. Whether Pakistanis like it or not, the resolution is binding on Pakistan as a member of the United Nations. Unfortunately, as the status quo goes, there is no enforcement mechanism to make violation of rights punishable. As hopeful as the global affirmation may seem, the situation in Pakistan is quite abysmal. A gay friend lamented:“The very term gay rights is an oxymoron here. There is no such thing. We have no rights in Pakistan.” Where does one even begin the debate in Pakistan? How do you get past the literal interpretation of religious texts that leave no room
Not yet
The very term gay rights is an oxymoron here. We have no rights in Pakistan for such a debate? Islam if read as a monolith, stuck in time and fixed in space, will not allow equal rights to homosexuals. To change opinions in Pakistan, however, we need to be able to find solutions within the faith. Rebuttals and recantations will not win hearts and minds, we need to fight this battle employing the language that is heard and understood. In Indonesia during the Conference of Religions and Peace in 2008 it was concluded that homosexuality was natural and created by God, thus permissible within Islam. There are countless practicing Muslims who have managed to reconcile their sexual orientation and faith. Trouble is that such voices are few and far between. You don’t hear them because they are afraid to speak up. We have shunned millions of our brothers and sisters and they have given up all hope of finding support from us. UN resolutions are nice enough but they are a result of a decades-long struggle for equality, fairness and justice. It did not happen overnight. A million lives had to be sacrificed for a million more to speak up. Speaking up won’t be enough anymore. If we don’t yell, loudly and proudly to make ourselves heard, I’m afraid the battle will already be lost.
AYESHA UMAR
In the wake of the same-sex marriage bill passed by the New York Senate, a few people are supporting similar kind of rights for the (still closeted) gay community in Pakistan. In my view, it is disastrous to even think of this at this moment. The gay community in the United States (US) achieved their current rights after decades of continuous social, political and legal struggle. Yet even today, several states including the US federal government do not recognise civil union/partnership. Some states permit civil unions but they don’t equalise those to marriage. According to public wishes, like the federal government, states also have their version of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) to preserve the sanctity of marriage – that is a marital union between a man and a woman. This means that a civil union/partnership entered into one state is not recognized either on the federal level or in states which prohibit such unions. So if a same-sex couple enters into a civil partnership in Washington DC, that union will not be recognised in Ohio. We must remember that although there is no official religion in the US, based on the cultural and social sensitivities, the majority of people do not favour gay rights. Homophobia is still prevalent in US society. Moreover, conservative groups are actively engaged in lobbying against gay rights. Imagine what would happen in Pakistan, where religious minorities are persecuted, the poor have no access to justice and the situation of women’s rights is dismal. Will it be appropriate to raise a voice for gay rights? Until recently, sodomy was a punishable crime in several US states. In 2003 the US Supreme
It is impossible to think of equal rights for gay Pakistanis in our lifetime Court in Lawrence v. Texas decriminalised consensual sex between adults of the same gender. Gay rights activists claim rights under the ‘equal protection’ clause of the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution which says: “…nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” In contrast, Pakistan’s Constitution is Islamic in nature. Given the unanimous consensus in the Muslim world against homosexuality, it is nearly unimaginable to see any acceptance for homosexuality in Pakistan. It is important to note that resolutions passed by United Nations General Assembly and its other organs such as the Human Rights Council, are not legally binding on member states. Under Chapter IV of the UN Charter which deals with General Assembly, such resolutions are called recommendations. Recommendations are resolutions that only reflect the view of the majority. There is no denying that Pakistan has a homosexual community, but speaking for their rights sounds absurd when issues like procedural changes to the blasphemy or Hudood Laws are not addressed. In a situation like this, it is better to prioritise issues.
I condemn Mr Zamir Akram NUWAS MANTO
In 2003, Brazil brought the case for homosexual rights on the United Nations table, only to be derailed at the last minute by Muslim and African countries. Instead, amendments were introduced and approved for the removal of any reference to discrimination based on sexual orientation. My country, Pakistan, was the captain of Team Homophobe. It distributed a memo to the member states declaring that the approval of the recommendation would be “a direct insult to 1.2 billion Muslims around the world.” This year, thanks to three abstentions, China being absent, Libya’s suspension and the efforts of South Africa to table the resolution again, it was approved. This is the first time UN has officially condemned homophobia and commissioned a study into the plight of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) community, so that they may be reviewed and discussed later on in Geneva. But then what? How long will China be absent? How long will Libya remain suspended?
Ironically the states which sat there, disapprovingly eyeing the resolution, are the ones with the worst human rights violations — be it freedom of expression, religious minority rights or any other democratic principle for the essential working of a modern and open society. Who are they to vote on “fundamen-
tal” human rights when their own record reeks with violations? Frankly, it seems like a joke to allow these countries to cast a vote on human rights. I am here to inform the world and Zamir Akram, Pakistan’s envoy to UN, that homosexuals do exist in Pakistan and that we demand our right to love
people of our own gender or even change our gender when we feel necessary to do so. It is our body — the state and the ordinary mullah on the street, must keep out of our beds. We, the Pakistani queer people and our straight alliances, disapprove of the statement by Mr Akram that the resolution has nothing whatsoever to do with the “fundamental human rights.” Quite the contrary, LGBT rights are as much of incontrovertible human rights as the rights of women and a religious minority. It’s only the rampant homophobia of the aggressively hetrosexist society which has come to believe and make us believe otherwise. It is the fundamental right of a homosexual, bisexual or tansgender man (or a woman) to love, to marry, to form a family, and to work without discrimination in a workplace of his choice and be unapologetic. It might seem like an elite concern to heterosexuals but this is a basic right for those demanding the right to love. As a Pakistani, I condemn the words of Zamir Akram and stand as a proof
@Ahmer: I think Pakistan, as a whole, has bigger problems to deal with than gay rights; this isn’t that big of a problem. Think about solving all the major problems and then come to these small problems that you can always sort out later.
@Muhammad Adnan: Homosexuality is a problem — a problem with being natural and having balanced natural chemistry. There should be special treatment centres for these people to help them live a natural human life.
@Shamiq: Majority of scientific research has concluded in homosexuality being caused only by environmental factors, not biological. So, do not go about ranting against God for creating you like this when you believe in Him and what He can do at the same time.
@Syed Nadir El-Edroos: Please look at any research on sexual preferences. You are not born “normal!” Who is to say children are born straight to begin with? If homosexuality is learnt from your surroundings, does it suggest that they are no gay men and women in places where homosexuality is illegal?
@Muhammad Yasin: Let’s welcome a new breed of depression to our society and destroy one thing that has been holding us so far — our family structure — and not being an individualistic society.
@Ayesha:
We, the Pakistani Queer community, disapprove of the statement by Mr Akram that there are many in Pakistan who dream of an egalitarian and gayfriendly nation here. Some rights are “fundamental” and need to be defended against the face of notoriety and odds. Queer rights are one of them. Full stop. Nothing to be apologetic about it. Muslim and African countries must be pushed, by the international community, to give into gay rights, just as we would want to push them towards greater application of women’s rights and freedom of expression (or any other human right for that matter).
Generally, many will agree that the gay rights issue is very complex especially in the context of Pakistan and one should be careful in a paving way for it. Social movements are successful only if sacrifices are made and the struggle is persistent.
@Imran Mohammad: When there are so many other more compelling issues related to our survival as a nation, what’s the point in raising this non-issue? This discussion is emblematic of our problems. We have two extremes — one are radical people who want to enforce their views by any means, and the other so called elite liberals who wants to follow the west blindly. Why can’t we have a middle course?
@Qadeer Ahmed Baloch: What is the sense of announcing and asserting your sexuality if it’s as natural as claimed? Why don’t we have any Heterosexual Pride Day Parades? Homosexuality to me is a very twisted diversion to natural laws.
Visit http://blogs.tribune.com.pk to join the conversation.
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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 2, 2011
offbeat Coming soon: A test-tube burger
Walking on water
Cooking pot for £380,000 No, these aren’t pictures from a latest Chinese Kung-Fu film. Students at Wuhan City, Hubei Province, China are so excited at their graduation ceremony that they’re walking on water! Well almost, the university faculty set up a special photo session by placing a walkway under water on a flooded lakeside park. Torrential rains had recently battered central and southern China and Wuhan City was left partially flooded due to the heavy downpour.
Being a foodie is all the rage these days, but does anyone really love being in the kitchen enough to fork out £380,000 (Rs52.3 million) for what is being dubbed the world’s most expensive cooking pot? The Zhuo Zhan department store in Changchun, the capital of China’s Jilin Province, has put this delectable product on sale — but it will set you back a fair old whack. At 3.8million Yuan (£380,000), it’s something a footballer might buy for their wife, or girlfriend (or both). It comes complete with a pair of handles of pure gold on the pot itself and another on the lid, weighing a total of 738 gram, while the details are also embossed with 13 diamonds. And the best part? It gets delivered to you in a Rolls-Royce (not included). A spokesperson for Fissler China, whose German parent company manufactures the luxury item, said, “Any buyer of this pot will get our top service. He/she will not only be invited to the top Michelin restaurant in Europe with ten of her/his friends, but the company will also deliver the pot to his/her address in a Rolls-Royce.”
SOURCE: DAILYMAIL.CO.UK
SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
Perfect prank
Lucky Liz A British woman who suffers from painful muscle condition and relies on a mobility a car to get around has won hundreds of prizes after entering online competitions and completing crosswords. Lucky Liz Denial, from Stapleford, Nottingham, UK, has been able to kit out her home with prizes, which include a 37-inch LCD TV, a home cinema system, two X-boxes and hundreds of bottles of fancy toiletries and cleaning products. The 51-year-old former bank worker has even bagged herself a five-star VIP holiday to Kenya. And she has been able to top-up her luxury lifestyle after pocketing £16,500 (Rs2.27 million) on TV show “Deal or No Deal”. Liz, who was forced to give up her job after developing painful muscle condition fibromyalgia, has won a prize every single day since last October. Liz said, “I rely on winning prizes because I don’t have a job and my mobility car is very expensive to run. Sometimes I have to pinch myself, because I can’t believe how lucky I am. Maybe it is karma because I suffer from a lot of pain because of my condition.” She further said, “I sell the prizes I won’t use, like the X-boxes, to my friends. When I won the trip to Kenya, I couldn’t believe my luck. The wackiest prize
Legoland may be full of fun and games for visitors, but apparently employees occasionally goof around too. The boss of a Legoland theme park, California was stunned when staff swapped his car for one made of Lego. Peter Ronchetti went to drive home in his real Volvo XC60 to find it had been replaced with a life-sized copy made from 201,076 of the toy bricks. The prank was thought up by colleague Tim Petsche, who snuck away Ronchetti’s keys and called in a forklift to move in the three-
tonne (2,934 pounds) model car. Ronchetti took the joke in his stride, playing around with the car and pretending to unlock it. He said, “We have a very fun, creative team here at Legoland California and it really was the perfect prank. I can tell you that I won’t leave my keys lying around ever again.” Beth Chee, spokeswoman for the park in Carlsbad, California, watched and photographed the prank, saying that Ronchetti thought it was “very funny”.
After test-tube babies, it’s time for test-tube hamburgers. The first ‘test-tube’ hamburger is only a year away, scientist’s claim. They believe the product, beef mince grown from stem cells, could pave the way for eating meat without animals being slaughtered. The Dutch scientists predict that over the next few decades the world’s population will increase so quickly that there will not be enough livestock to feed everyone. As a result, they say, laboratory-grown beef, chicken and lamb could become normal. The scientists are currently developing a burger, which will be grown from 10,000 stem cells extracted from cattle, which are then left in the lab to multiply more than a billion times to produce muscle tissue similar to beef. The product is called ‘in vitro’ meat. Mark Post, professor of physiology at Maastricht University in the Netherlands, who is behind the project, said, “I don’t see any way you could rely on old-fashioned livestock in the coming decades. In vitro meat will be the only choice left. We are trying to prove to the world we can make a product out of this, and we need a courageous person who is willing to be the first to taste it.” “If no one comes forward then it might be me,” he told Scientific American magazine that he thought the first burger could be made within 12 months. In 2009 scientists from the same university grew strips of pork using the same method. They admitted it was not particularly appetising, being grey with a similar texture to calamari. Fish fillets have been grown in a New York laboratory using cells taken from goldfish muscle tissue. Even if the initial results do not taste quite the same as proper meat, scientists are convinced the public will soon get used to it, especially if they do not have a choice. A colleague of Professor Post said, “When we are eating a hamburger we don’t think, ‘I’m eating a dead cow’. And when people are already far from what they eat, it’s not too hard to see them accepting cultured meat.” SOURCE:DAILYMAIL.CO.UK
Big love
SOURCE: WEB.ORANGE.CO.UK
I’ve won is definitely a life-size cardboard cutout of Ricky Gervais. When the postman delivered it, I didn’t know what to do with it.” Some of my prizes are very strange but others have made my life much easier and definitely more enjoyable, she added. Liz met her best friend, Sandy Cox, from Cossall, after appearing on “Deal or no Deal”. Cox said, “I enter competitions too but I’m nowhere near as lucky as Liz. I only won 10p on “Deal or No Deal” but Liz just keeps hitting the jackpot with everything she applies for. And she really deserves her prizes, she is a lovely woman.”
To describe your child as a gorilla is a bit rude to say the least. But for French zoologists Pierre and Elaine Thivillon, who own a zoo in SaintMartin la-Plaine near Lyon, this is exactly what their ‘little one’ is. They have fostered a gorilla called Digit, who was rejected by her mother and they now treat her as their own. Digit is very comfortable in their company and despite her enormous size and strength; the couple obviously have not the slightest fear of her. The unusual addition to their family was born at the zoo in 1998, but her mother did not know how to breastfeed her. The couple stepped in to bottle feed her but her health took a turn for the worse and she underwent two life-saving operations. Digit, who weighs 80 kilos, could live for up to 50 years.
SOURCE: DAILMAIL.CO.UK
SOURCE: DAILYMAIL.CO.UK
Ooh, aah, ouch
It’s a Batmobility scooter! Great grandfather Brian Vann looks like he would be more at home in Gotham City after turning his mobility scooter into the Batmobile. Vann spent weeks transforming his electric scooter into the superhero’s car. He can be spotted riding the Batmobile, which has a top speed of eight mph (12.8km/h), around the ‘Batcave’ — the sheltered housing complex where he lives in Evesham, Worcestershire. “People drive past in their cars and stop when they see me, get out, and ask for a photo,” said the retired construction worker. “I feel like a bit of a celebrity. I know how the Beckhams must feel when I go out in my Batmobile. If it brings a smile to people’s faces, then it’s done the job.” And 74-year-old Vann will not stop there — he has already started work on another design which will transform his scooter into a Thunderbird spaceship.
An unfortunate woman paid the price for a bus driver’s lack of attention when she got her head stuck in the vehicle’s closing doors in Maanshan, in eastern China’s Anhui Province. The unassuming lady was attempting to make her exit from the No137 bus at her stop in the early afternoon when the obviously impatient driver shut the doors just as she poked her head out. As the doors closed around her neck, leaving her body inside the bus and her head outside, her fellow passengers shouted at the driver to open them, which he then did. Once released, the woman climbed off the bus and quickly walked away, rubbing her neck without complaining. Reports are as yet unconfirmed regarding the possibility that the driver was Franco Lombardo, the notorious chap who was busted in Rome for ditching bus passengers to pick up his girlfriend recently. The 40-year-old kicked off his passengers from the bus he was driving on route 116, telling them it had a fault. But he had actually just been on the phone with his lady, as one angry passenger later revealed, “The bus was crowded and we all heard him get a phone call from someone he called ‘My Love’ — we heard him say he would be right there — and then he booted us all off.” SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
The iPope!
Want to get all the latest news, videos and photographs from the Vatican? Well, yes, there is now an app for that. Benedict XVI, 84, has become the first pope to join the Twitter generation after sending his first message using an iPad. The pontiff was videoed tweeting on the iPad and later uploaded the video footage on YouTube. His appearance on social media was timed to coincide with the launch of a new online portal for all thing related to Vatican. Pope Benedict’s first tweet read, “Dear friends, I just launched [the website]. Praised be our Lord Jesus Christ! With my prayers and blessings, Benedictus XVI.” The move is the latest attempt by the Vatican to spread its message to the internet audience and follows dabbling in Facebook and YouTube. The portal which will collate information from the Vatican’s various print, online, radio and television media into a single destination will be its most extensive online venture. It will be capable of live-streaming papal events, audio feeds from Vatican Radio, photographs from L’Osservatore Romano and printed texts including papal homilies, statements and speeches. Thaddeus Jones, project coordinator and an official with the Pontifical Council for Social Communications, said, “He was clearly in awe at the new technology. It’s a lighter moment but also an important one, it marks a new way of communicating.” SOURCE: DAILYMAIL.CO.UK
World’s first flying motorbike Traffic jams could soon become a thing of the past thanks to an amateur inventor who has built the world’s first flying motorcycle in his garage. Australian Christopher Malloy ploughed his entire life-savings into the project, which took him two and a half years to complete. His futuristic creation — dubbed the Hoverbike — can reach an altitude of 10,000ft and speeds of over 100mph (160.9 km/h). Fans of the design have already compared Malloy’s work to the ‘speeder bikes’ from the Stars Wars sequel Return of the Jedi or the hovering car from Back to the Future. The futuristic prototype has the potential to travel up to 92 miles (148 kilometres) for about 45 minutes on one tank of fuel and is expected to come with a hefty price tag of more than £45,000 (Rs6.2 million). So far the bike, which weighs 270kg, has only been tested while tethered to the ground to prevent it flying too high. But plans to test its capabilities without any restrictions are set to go ahead soon. Malloy explained, “The Hoverbike was built with safety in mind so at least three components have to fail before you might have a serious airborne failure. There are also two explosive parachutes attached to the airframe and of course the rider could choose to wear their own parachute too.” Malloy is unwilling to reveal exactly how much he has spent on the project, but claims it is costing him roughly £140 (Rs19,389.8) a week. SOURCE: DAILYMAIL.CO.UK