21
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 9, 2011
Explore
The turtle tale MAZE Help these turtles get back to the ocean
Ali and Rida were building sandcastles at Karachi’s Sandspit beach when huge waves crashed onto the shore. As the waves rose high into the air before crashing onto the glittering sand, they saw within them, large, heavy creatures with a wide, smooth shell. They were none other than the marine turtles, popularly known as sea turtles. You’d be surprised to know that they have been on earth for more than 200 million years — which means they existed even before the dinosaurs ... now that’s older than old! You may have studied about them in your Science class ... now keep reading to find out what you’ve missed!
Karachi beaches home to green turtles You must have been to Sandspit, but did you ever wonder how it got that name? Sandspit refers to the pits made by the green turtles that come to the beach every year to bury their eggs. These pits can be observed on the beachside during winter months. Hawkes Bay and Sandspit are the prime places in Karachi to spot turtles. But unfortunately, these turtles are now in danger because of sea pollution and in some countries, they are even being hunted for eating. Hard to believe but it’s true.
In ancient myths and legends, the turtle is regarded as a symbol of strength, stability, benevolence, and wisdom. For ancient Greeks, the turtle was sacred. Perhaps the oldest legend — in which the turtle is considered to be the second incarnation of the powerful god Vishnu — comes from India and Hinduism. After a great flood, which occurs every four billion years and dissolves the Earth, Vishnu transforms himself into a great turtle. On his back, by sheer force of will, he supports the vessel in which the gods and demons mix the elements necessary to recreate the globe. After a thousand years, when the Earth has been reborn, the turtle remains in place, and on his back stands a large elephant (or four smaller elephants, in some versions), which support the planet. In Chinese myth, an immense turtle actually became the world, which is contained within its shell. The bottom, flat part of its shell (the plastron) contained the oceans and the earth’s floor. The great, domed upper half (the carapace or the shell) formed the heavens, complete with stars and planets. In Hindu mythology, black, soft-shelled turtles are believed to represent the souls of dead sinners, who have been trans-
Arribada — the grand arrival The sea turtle is the only animal (reptile) that returns to its birthplace, every single year, after journeying more than 1,000 kilometres. Two species of marine turtles — the Olive Ridley and the Kemp Ridley — turtles display a unique natural phenomena called Arribada. Arribada is a Spanish word, which means ‘arrival’. It is a peculiar behaviour among these sea turtles, in which thousands of egg-bearing females come ashore at the same time to lay a large number of eggs unlike other turtles who usually lay eggs individually. The Olive and Kemp turtles have developed this behaviour to ensure that their offspring are able to live because a large number of predators sit at the coast waiting for the egg shells to break, and eat the baby turtles as they start their journey towards the sea.
formed into reptiles by a 13th century saint. The Thais believe that if you free a turtle, you will find relief from sadness, while the Vietnamese believe that if you see a turtle crossing the street, your plans will be delayed. The Chinese believe patting the shell of a turtle or tortoise will bring you luck and in parts of Angola, it is believed that putting a tortoise shell underneath your door will help you ward off a rival.
Did you know? • Turtles live on every continent except Antarctica. • Some turtles, such as the Musk turtle, emit an odour when startled. • The smallest turtle, the Speckled Padloper is four-incheslong, whereas the largest is the Leatherback sea turtle that can reach up to 10 feet in length. • Turtles cannot protrude their tongues from their mouths. • Many turtles are expert climbers. • A group of turtles is called a bale. • Instead of teeth, turtles have a sharp beak for eating. The earliest turtles did have teeth and could not retract their heads. • Some turtles can live up to a year without food. • Turtles shed their skin in small flakes rather than pieces like other reptiles. • The largest turtle in the world is the Leathery Turtle whose shell is up to 2.4 metres long and can weigh up to 860kg. • A turtle never knows its parents: All turtles, whether they live on land or in water, lay their eggs in nests dug in the earth. The turtle will then cover her eggs with sand, and depart without ever looking back.
Can turtles hear? Do they have ears? Yes. They may not have the “outer-ears” that stick out of their heads like yours, but they do have the “inner ear” mechanisms like other animals. They also have the auditory nerve and brain centre required for hearing. Turtles do not hear airborne sounds as loudly as you do, but they can sense and interpret vibrations in the environment. Hearing probably isn’t very important to them, because their senses of vision and smell are excellent.
Why do turtles live so long? The average life span of a sea turtle is 80 years depending upon their habitat; some may even live up to 100 years. They manage to live so long because their bodies do not become weak with age, as in the case of humans and birds. In fact, they continue to grow very, very slowly for as long as they live. Their bodies do not need much energy to survive. They can even live for long periods without water or food. ha ha ha
Folklore and superstitions
Why did the turtle cross the road?
The turtle has been a part of cultural history in almost every part of the world. Turtle images appeared on Greek coins six centuries before the birth of Christ, and today, they are found on postage stamps around the world.
To go to the Shell station! He was running on empty!
ILLUSTRATION: JAMAL KHURSHID
What do turtles use to communicate? SHELLphone!!! What kind of turtles and are easy to see? Green See (sea) turtles. Why did the judge send the turtle to jail? Because he was known as a hard case. Why is Turtle Wax so expensive?
Pull-along paper bowl turtle
How to make
Materials needed • • • • • • • • • •
Green construction paper Large paper bowl Poster paint Crayons String Wiggle eyes or flat beads Paint brush White glue Scissors Pencil
(4)
(3)
(5) (1)
Instructions:
(2)
1. 2.
Trace the outline of a paper bowl’s rim on green construction paper. Draw a turtle’s head on top of the circle, a tail at the bottom, and two pairs of legs along the sides. 3. Cut out the turtle outline. 4. Punch a small hole about an inch from the rim of the paper bowl. 5. Paint the paper bowl to transform it into a turtle’s shell. Green turtles are pretty popular but you can choose your turtle’s shell colour. 6. Make big spots or other patterns on your turtle’s shell. You can finger paint or use your paint brush. Once you’re finished, set the bowl aside to dry. 7. Glue a pair of wiggle eyes or beads for your turtle’s eyes. Draw a nose and mouth with crayons. 8. Slightly curl the head, legs and tail. 9. Cut the string two to three feet long and insert one end through the hole on the paper bowl. Make a knot on this end of the string. 10. Glue the shell on top of the body. Position the shell in such a way that the string is in front. 11. Let the glue dry completely before taking your turtle out for a walk. SOURCE: FIRSTPALETTE.COM
(7)
(8)
(6)
) (10 (9)
(11)
Because turtles have such tiny ears.
22
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 9, 2011
literati for young readers
A grab-bag of witticisms
SAMEEN AMER
What’s the Difference Between a Turtle and a Tortoise?
A decent share of amusing lines SAMEEN AMER
Perfect in a deleted scene from ‘A Christmas Carol’ (“I am here, Ebenezer Scrooge, to show you what shall have happened to you on a Christmas that will have passed at some point in the future.”); a person describes his many super powers in ‘My Powers’ (“I am immune to poison, unless I ingest it”), and “the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves” airs his frustrations in ‘Dad’ (“Dad hated fairy tales. If you even mentioned one to him, he’d launch into one of his long, self-righteous speeches about wolf stereotyping and the damage done to the wolf community by the “prey-biased fairy-tale media.””). The writer also presents some suggestions for updating old flags (“The Olympic Flag: A white flag that has the words “Nice try, Finland” printed across the middle of it.”), offers some zingers (“Coffee Shop — Me: (paying at register, looking at jar that says “Tips” and then knocking it over) Yeah, I guess it does.”), and shares some tongue-in-cheek statistics (“100 per cent of the people who give 110 per cent do not understand math.”). While some ideas work better than others, the book is generally amusing, making use of smart observations, taking an offbeat look at situations, and playing with linguistics. That said, Demetri’s humour isn’t for everyone; some find his routines amusing, while others simply don’t. So if you’ve seen his performances and find his style grating, then it is very unlikely that the book will generate a different result for you. Even if you think Demetri is funny but that his humour should only be taken in small doses, then This Is a Book might still work for you, as each piece in this book is generally short and therefore a quick read; and if you’re a fan, then chances are that you won’t be disappointed. Overall This Is a Book is a whimsical collection of clever musings that take a dig at everything from a cappella groups to healthy lifestyles. While on the whole it isn’t exactly an indispensable masterpiece, it is very readable, is especially suitable for sporadic reading, and is likely to please readers who enjoy creative humour.
Book: This Is a Book Author: Demetri Martin Genre: Humour Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (2011)
Excerpt:
Author: Trisha Speed Shaskan Illustrator: Bandelin Dacey Do you know the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? One lives on land, the other lives in water; one has flippers and webbed feet, the other has thick and strong legs; but can you tell which is which? If not, then you might want to take a look at What’s the Difference Between a Turtle and a Tortoise? It is the book that explains how the two species differ, while also shedding light on some of their characteristics and behaviours. The book presents the comparisons between the two animals in a simple and clear way so that young readers learn how to tell them apart. Along with the words are beautiful illustrations that show the creatures in accompanying scenes that elucidate the point presented in the text.
Will We Miss Them? Endangered Species
“Who am I? That is a simple question, yet it is one without a simple answer. I am many things — and I am one thing. But I am not a thing that is just lying around somewhere, like a pen, or a toaster, or a housewife. That is for sure. I am much more than that. I am a living, breathing thing, a thing that can draw with a pen and toast with a toaster and chat with a housewife, who is sitting on a couch eating toast. And still, I am much more. I am a man. And I am a former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust. I am also a Gemini, who is on the cusp. I am “brother” and I am “son” and I am “father” (but just according to one person, who does not have any proof but still won’t seem to let it go). Either way, I am moving very soon and not letting her know about it. I am asking you to keep that between us.” After serving as the ‘Senior Youth Correspondent’ on The Daily Show, Demetri Martin has gone on to star in his own Comedy Central series called “Important Things With Demetri Martin”, and appeared in various movies, including the lead role in the 2009 film Taking Woodstock. He has done stand-up, released comedy albums, and has now transformed his quirky style and wry humour into the shape of a book. Using the same comedic styling that he has employed in his performances, the comedian’s first book offers a variety of unrelated pieces that see the writer put an interesting spin on an assortment of ideas. Titled This Is a Book, the tome serves as a grab-bag of one-liners, epigrams, drawings, charts and graphs, palindromes, and short humorous pieces. There is much on offer here on a variety of different topics. For instance, Ebenezer Scrooge gets a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future
Timeless tales Author: Alexandra Wright Illustrator: Marshall Peck III There are many species of animals that are at a risk of extinction, with their numbers dwindling due to the destruction of their habitats and the actions of poachers; the Galápagos tortoise is one of them. These massive creatures, which are currently on the ‘vulnerable’ list, “live longer than any other animal on Earth”, but the species has suffered after the first people who came to the Galápagos Islands brought rats with them which ate the tortoise eggs. The Galápagos tortoise, however, is not the only animal that is at risk; from the bald eagle and the African elephant to pandas, manatees, and rhinoceroses, many species face an uncertain future, and this book, which is not only for young readers, but also written by a young author — takes a look at what’s special about each of these animals, and why they are endangered. It eventually leaves the readers with a message that “we don’t have to miss them” as we must try to save these magnificent creatures because “they are all part of the amazing balance of nature that makes life so wonderful”.
Sharing amazing real life tales and emotionally uplifting many saddened souls
It is for all A profound illustration of a totalitarian state moments and ages Book: The Land of Green Plums Herta Müller and that is Author: Translated: Michael Hofmann what makes Genre: Fiction Publisher: Granta Books Chicken Soup Excerpt: for the Soul so “I knew the dwarf lady on Trajan Square. She had more than hair, she was deaf and dumb, and she wore extraordinary scalp a grass pigtail like the discarded chairs underneath the TAZEEN INAM
Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories
Author: Dr Seuss Shifting gears from reality and facts and venturing into poetic fiction, we meet Yertle the Turtle, the titular character of Dr Seuss’ book Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories. Unsatisfied with his kingdom and wanting to rule a bigger area, King Yertle orders the other turtles to stack on top of each others backs to form a new, higher throne for him, so that he can see further and thus expand his kingdom. Despite the turtle at the bottom of the stack’s pleas for respite, Yertle keeps adding more turtles to the pile, until eventually he ends up losing what he had to begin with. An interesting story with a very important lesson, Yertle the Turtle is a story that young readers can both enjoy and learn from. The other stories in the book include Gertrude McFuzz (a girl-bird with only one tail feather learns to be content with herself) and The Big Brag (a rabbit and a bear each brag that they are the best, till a little old worm intervenes).
You can send your contributions and suggestions to You can send your contributions and suggestions to t2@tribune.com.pk t2@tribune.com.pk
Life behind an ‘Iron Curtain’
SABINA RIZWAN KHAN
Book Review:
Book: Chicken Soup for the Soul Author: Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen Genre: Non Fiction Publisher: Health Communications Inc.
Chicken Soup for the Soul, in its 5th serving, gives its readers a little something extra... Chicken Soup for the Soul is a compilation of real life short stories of people from all walks of life. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen were working as professional motivational speakers and yearly came across hundreds of amazing souls with life changing experiences to tell. Soon the authors realised these inspiring stories should not be limited to themselves but be shared. Thus they endeavoured to collect stories from different people about their life-changing experiences. However, it was ensured that these stories were shared with those people’s consent. From the very first edition, this book became the New York Times Bestseller and changed people, their perceptions, and lives drastically. The interesting thing about
Excerpt: Many times we have been approached by readers — at a speech or public appearance- who told us how one or more stories were of inestimable value during a period of trial and testing, such as the death of a loved one or a serious illness. We are grateful for having had the opportunity to be of help to so many in this way. Some have told us they keep their Chicken Soup book at bedside, reading one story each night, often reading favourites. Many use these books as a family gathering experience, reading a story aloud with parents and children gathered together in the evening. You may choose the path of readers who have gone before you, or simply enjoy reading this book with no particular pattern in mind, letting each story guide your thoughts in new directions. Find the path that’s the best for you and most all, enjoy!
this book is that one can start reading it from any point. As each story is unique, one feels that one tale guides you to the other tale with a different message each time. To facilitate readers, these stories have been divided into pertinent sections so that everyone can enjoy the book to its fullest. Starting from On Love, On Parents and Parenting, On Death and Dying and ending on A Matter of Perspective and Overcoming Obstacles, each title suggests that it has a different flavour for every reader. What makes Chicken Soup for the Soul a great read at all times is its genuine style of storytelling, which everyone feels connected to. Whether you have fought a severe disease or lost a job, whether you earned a moment of wisdom while teaching or are still coping-up with your child’s death, you will find something in this book to relate to. It is for all moments and ages and that is what makes Chicken Soup for the Soul so extraordinary. Any man, woman, old or young will find a reflection of his or her own life in this book. The cherry on the top is the separate chapter that has stories of celebrities and famous personalities like Robert Frost, Scott Pippen, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Henry Ford etc. It feels amazing to read how these ordinary people became extraordinary while fighting all odds. Chicken Soup for the Soul is a good bed time story book for kids as well. With summer at its peak and time off from school, what is better than curling up on your sofa and reading about another person’s life-altering experience?
old people’s mulberry trees. She lived off the rubbish from the greengrocer’s shop. Every year she got pregnant by Lola’s men, who came off the late shift at midnight. It was dark in the square. The dwarf lady couldn’t run away in time, because she couldn’t hear their approach. And she couldn’t scream.” It’s not easy to read or write about books that carry tales of oppression and dictatorship, particularly those based on the East European dictatorships. Such dreadful stories give you goose bumps; leave your eyes wide open and your heart filled with sorrow. The Land of Green Plums by Herta Müller relates a similar tale. The author was born in Romania in 1953. She was a teacher by profession and had to emigrate in 1987, and after refusing to cooperate with Ceausescu’s Securitate, she lost her job and suffered repeated threats. The original book is in German but has been translated into English by Michael Hofmann. It is written in an autobiographical style but despite that, is not an easy book to get into. During the first 40 pages, understanding the story is somewhat difficult, but then it begins to cast its spell. The more you read, the more you want to find out what happens next to the four friends who are the central characters of the book. They are a rebellious lot who have come from impoverished provinces in search of better prospects in the city. The novel casts a spell over the reader and is difficult to put down once you become attached to the characters. Müller’s description of emotions and feelings, while living under monitored and claustrophobic surroundings, are heart throbbing. She uses her powerful imagery to make the reader understand how morose life was during the Communist Romanian dictatorship. The extent of vulnerability that was present under the facade of security is evident in the excerpt above. The author’s expressions convey how fragile relations were during that time of oppression. Everyone had a friend in every wisp of cloud That’s how it is with friends where the world is full of fear Even my mother said, that’s how it is Friends are out of the question Think of more serious things. The narrator appears to be very bold; she
is rebellious and survived Lola’s death, her father’s death and Captain Pjele’s demeaning interrogation but couldn’t take being sacked from her job as she refused to join the Communist party. That was the first time she shed tears. All four friends deal with their sadness and sorrow through jokes and poetry and meeting and laughing, besides planning to emigrate or waiting to die. Life under totalitarian rule was difficult, especially if one refused to join the all-powerful Party. The characters showed a great deal of patience, fought hard, but in the end, the only survivors were the narrator and Edgar. All committed suicide but in reality, the blame for their deaths can be laid at the doorstep of the State. The novel ends with Muller’s curse to Captain Pjele. His disgusting interrogation, monitoring and threats haunted her even after emigration. The book opens and ends with “when we don’t speak, said Edgar, we become unbearable, and when we do, we make fools of ourselves.” Despite the heavy subject matter, the novel is not depressing at all; in fact, it encourages life and the ability of humanity to rise beyond the reality of pain and oppression.
23
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 9, 2011
blogosphere tech talk A+ for Google+ Google decides to take on social media giants with its latest project
FAISAL KAPADIA
The current times might be a watershed moment in the social media world, not just in Pakistan but all around the globe. The company that may or may not cause this revolution is Google. In the past, Google has eliminated whatever competition came in the path of its search engine to the extent that “Google it” has replaced “search for it” in our vocabulary. It did the same when it integrated photos via Picasa and documents via Google Docs. It has, however, not been able to make a place for itself in the social networking world, with the company’s only attempt being the halfbaked Google Buzz. Now, Google has decided to take on the giants with its latest project Google+, a complete social networking stream and site, the likes of which we have never seen before. Although it is closed for the general public right now, I received an invitation to check out its Beta version. So, what is the difference between Google+ and Facebook? I think we can limit this down to three broad areas:
Google has eliminated whatever competition has come in its path can add and subtract your contacts to these circles. What is really cool is how you can target different circles and share different content streams with them without going crazy with privacy settings ala Facebook. For instance you can say “I hate you all” in a status update and share it with a circle called ‘losers’ — very streamlined. The ‘like’ button has been replaced by the ‘plus one’ button and there is a separate box aggregating this in your profile as a ‘brag it’ badge. You can add the usual pictures, videos and all that jazz to any content stream and they show up in a much wider space as well — so less scrolling, more ogling.
everywhere in Pakistan at the moment (do we have to wonder why?) but will involve your name showing as online and ready to “hang” if allowed. Through this an audio/ video conference can be initiated between the parties. Don’t ask me how I tested this but I found it very fast and streamlined. The feature also offers YouTube integration, letting users collaboratively watch videos and create running commentaries in the chat, or verbally using the new Google Voice Search technology. Imagine live cricket match replays on it — with all of your friends.
3. Huddle To me, the best feature of the new G+ social network is its ability to cross platform chat. Yes, Facebook has its chat but then that’s just plain annoying and this module is very similar to Gtalk and even faster in its mobile version which is available in the G+ app for android. So, as soon as it’s available for Nokia, Blackberry and iPhone, we can say “bye bye” to Whatsapp and that cave to cave… umm… Blackberry to Blackberry network known as BBM.
1. Google+ Hands on and Circles The basic content stream may look Facebook-ish, but the approach is entirely different under the hood. First of all, instead of categories among friends we have ‘circles.’ You
2. Hangout Not being satisfied with taking Facebook on, the brains behind G+ have thrown a challenge at Skype as well. This feature is not available
Will Google+ destroy Facebook and Skype? No, but I believe it has the capability to do so. What remains to be seen is how Google is going to secure this
19 reasons I’d rather text than talk
What local users think @Sohail Anjum: Still trying to work my head around it and come to terms with it. @Shoaib Taimur: I like the idea of Google Plus though it seems a bit barren at the moment. I would love for Google to open this trial for everyone. Overall it’s not confusing as Google Wave, though it ain’t a Facebook killer. @Hasan Nizamani: A good attempt from Google, with some good features and ideas. But a bit too late as most of the features are already in other social networking services, so people will get tired of G+ soon. After all we’re updating status, +1 (liking) them and commenting on them, adding more friends (circles), adding photos, videos .. all of these are already on Facebook. Yea a different approach is here, but that’s not good enough to penetrate the social market. @Awab Alvi: Decent attempt by G+: I think Google must realize it specializes in “Search” maybe tapping the social network may help refine its search engines but it should not dabble too extensively and hope to edge into Facebook’s turf as it already has a 700 million head start. I don’t think Google+ will trigger a mass exodus from Facebook. @Usman Latif: I believe, for the majority of people, it will be just like maintaining another social network and that’s it. People are not going to move away from Facebook.
network, because that’s one of the snags Facebook has run into, such as accounts being hacked or there being no end to security vulnerabilities in third party applications.
Will it remain invite only? Fat chance of that if Google wants to dent the competition. What will be
needed in the long-run though, is an “all in one dashboard” because users, even social media geeks, will get tired of maintaining so many different profiles. Google+, by integrating search, Gmail, Google documents, Google Maps and its own social stream has the firepower to provide us with that one stop solution.
Relationships in the digital world The true meaning of friendship is more than just ‘liking’ a page
QURATULAIN RIZVI
Ok, let’s accept it. We are all addicted to social networking sites, especially Facebook, in one way or another. Social networking has not only altered the way we live, it has also changed our relationships and interactions with each other. Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, Foursquare, Yahoo 360 and many other social networking sites are the projectors of our self image and define our relationships. The pages we ‘like’, the groups we join, our activities and interests, the bands and books we like, the thoughts we choose to broadcast over Facebook — all work to make us a part of a subculture that is still in its infancy, but has widespread effects, and is slowly bringing down the barriers of distance and language. Facebook, in the past few years, has immensely changed the concept of human relationships. Friendship is no longer confined to face-to-face interaction, but is now rooted in the ‘friends list’ of the other person. A simple click on the
‘unfriend’ option can cut ties between childhood friends. The more people in the friends list, the more popular and easy going you are perceived to be. I wonder if being in someone’s friends list is enough to be called a friend — or is a touch-and-see interaction in a tangible environment, where one can freely express emotions, without the assistance of digital emoticons, more important to cultivate a healthy relationship between two people? Even in friends, we have the liberty to compartmentalise people into different categories, based on our closeness and level of formality with them. We have the ‘family’, the ‘best friends’, the ‘not-so-close friends’, the ‘relatives’ and the ‘work colleagues’ lists. It is no longer a shame that most of us live a dual life all thanks to Facebook, which allows us to share our online life with specific friends and limit others to our offline life only. If due to cultural or proximity barriers, you cannot physically ‘poke a friend’, you can still do so in the world of Facebook and
this subtle cue is somehow less offending in the virtual world. Some friendships also evolve based on your interaction with the other person on Facebook only. What I mean to say is that you have never met this person in your life before, but since a friend of yours suggested you to become friends with him, you add him and start talking and when you get a chance to meet this digital friend of yours in person, you both have already developed enough of a comfort zone to look over all the pleasantries. Where Facebook has brought people together despite living in different continents and has given new meaning to ‘connection’ and ‘networking’, it has also given hype to our fake digital personalities, an example of which can be demonstrated by the latest quote that’s been running these days and goes somewhat like this: “No one is as ugly as their NIC pic, or as good looking as their Face book Profile pic.” Just as an artist carefully carves a portrait be-
fore putting it on display to the general public, similarly we brush, trim, update and retouch our online images and persona to find love, friendship, and be a part of a cosmopolitan culture and we constantly seek affiliation from a global community. Social media may be giving rise to the new taxonomy of friendship, but for thousands of others like me, just by being on someone’s Facebook with a striking profile picture, is not enough to foster real relationships that will strengthen the bond between two people. I think online buddies can never replace our flesh and blood pals. The true meaning of friendship and true essence of human relations can never get deeper just by scribbling a few lines on each other’s walls once in a blue moon or by liking the same pages. Real intimacy, the feeling to be touched, heard and seen by someone behind the screen in reality is more important than just satisfying your competitive spirit by increasing the number of people in your friend list.
HUMA BAQIR
According to a PEW report quoted in the New York Times one in three teenagers sends more than 100 text messages a day, and a whopping 72 per cent are now official ‘text-messagers,’ compared with just 51 per cent in 2006. Sure enough, messaging has now become the most popular method of communication — beating not just phone calls, e-mails and the much-hyped social networking sites, but face-to-face communication as well..
What is the unvarnished truth? Many of us prefer exchanging text messages to having an actual conversation. Given an option, the average teenager would rather ‘text’ than ‘talk’; he would rather flex his fingertips than exert his tongue. This, however, should not be much of a surprise, considering how texting very conveniently gives you the opportunity to: 1. Ask someone out without looking them in the eye. 2. Then dump him/her, still not meeting their eyes. 3. Phrase your sentence as best as possible, read and reread it over and over again to make it sound diplomatic, thereby negating any chances of stuttering or babbling endlessly like an idiot. 4. Use smileys — either in the beginning of the sentence or after (or both) depending on the desperation of the situation — to ask for a favour, for example: “Darling, can u pretty please do the assignment for me :) :)?” “May I borrow ure DSLR and iPhone for the weekend? Thanks — ur so cool! :D” 5. Use LOLs — either in the beginning of the sentence or after (or both) depending on the desperation of the situation — to tone down an insult, for example: “U’re so ugly, LOL!” “LOL, ure room smelled like pee, dude” “ROFL…u should have seen her eyebrow-jungle! Enough to trap all the fleas in the world!” The LOL thereby gives you freedom of expression, without actually making you look — and feel — evil. You thus assure others how deep inside your chest lies not a coalblack pit, but a golden, alive and kicking heart. 6. Get your message across to that old lady who fails to hear you past your first word. 7. Get your message across without getting interrupted (meant for the disciples of one-sided conversation; the yap, yap, yap types). 8. Deliver a heartfelt, emotional message to the other, without fearing the prick in one’s nose, the catch in one’s throat or the embarrassingly unexpected, unwanted outpour of his tear-gland. 9. Apologise. No matter how fragile your ego, the text message somehow always ends up cushioning it. 10. Enjoy the benefit of the doubt by reserving the right to not respond, and innocently pretend as if you never got that message in the first place or did not have the credit to reply. For example (three days later): “I am soooo sorry; I ran out credit! Anyway, so what’s up at ure end?” (topic very conveniently changed) 11. End a conversation, without being accused of chickening out due to the fear of losing an argument. 12. Take your time to come up with a clever comeback, then act all smug, even if it took you an embarrassing halfhour just to think of it. 13. Calling someone is expensive. Texting is relatively cheap. 14. Evade the exhaustion of actually meeting someone. 15. Raise the dramatic element of your conversation up a notch, courtesy the use of *hugggggggg*, <3, *sniff*, uncountable exclamation points, the uppercase etcetera, to distract/overwhelm your recipient. 16. Silently communicate. You can send text messages to each other without other people being able to eavesdrop. It also works wonders in movie theatres and during dropdead boring seminars/ lectures/ speeches. 17. Get your message across efficiently without having to go through any awkward pleasantries or the accusations of being brusque. 18. Talk to more than one person at a time, and make them both think he/she is more important to you than the other. 19. Reach out to anyone, anywhere, anytime — loo hours inclusive. And yet, readers, SMS is a contagious flu; a tempting desire to jump into a whirlpool of convenience. But where there exist the unquestionable advantages, lying also in the periphery is its ridiculous misuse. Have the will and the wisdom to shut your whirring phone once in a while, to keep it aside — or on silent — each time your time and attention are required by the others. And remember, in case you have forgotten, that non-stop texting very easily impairs brain function — a function, I am sure, you would not dream of living without. Even if, secretly, you already are.
24
THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, JULY 9, 2011
offbeat Fit for kings, queens ... and aces Meet the world’s best card-stacker, who has spent 30 years perfecting his art. These buildings are fit for royalty — well, the two-dimensional kind. The incredibly intricate and delicate creations are the handwork of Brian Berg, who claims to be the world’s best card-stacker and has built a number of breathtaking card constructions. Iowa-based Berg cut his first deck of cards when he was only eight, and now he holds the world record having built a 26-feet-tall stack in Dallas, Texas, for which he used an amazing 1,060 decks. The 37-year-old has duplicated the New York skyline, Cinderella’s Castle and many other global landmarks. “Cards are my form of architecture,” he said. “Most
of the time my structures do not collapse. Because of the structural geometry and all the weight of the cards, they are very strong and stable,” he explained. Berg has perfected his art for almost 30 years, and having trained as a professional architect at Harvard, he has broken his own Guinness card-stacking records a dozen times over his career. His largest work — a card recreation of the Venetian Macau Resort-Hotel — broke his own world record by using 4,000 decks or an amazing 219,000 individual cards, placed on top of each other over a period of 44 days. “I have many techniques that I use to build my structures from standard commercially available decks of cards,” he explained. “I’m never just randomly placing cards; I’m always following a set technique for a certain visual or structural goal. All the cards are placed at right angles in such a way as to brace each other from falling over or bending under a load. It’s important to note that all my structures are free-standing. There is no means of support or sticking the cards together,” he elaborated. But what goes up must eventually come down — and Berg accepts the temporary nature of his spectacular houses of cards. “I also enjoy knocking the structures down because I consider the demolition of each project is part of the creative process,” he said. “My favourite method of destruction is a leaf blower because you can really control the wind, where it hits, and the damage it does. It’s great fun, and really interesting to watch tall towers sway in the wind — to see walls or columns collapse from a huge burst of air or from impact from some other portion collapsing.
Peeling out
A Pennsylvania man cruised into Flint, Michigan, US, in his giant, motorised banana and parked it on the bricks of Saginaw Street. Some looked confused. Many snapped pictures. Banana car owner Steve Braithwaite said he had no idea how much he was going to enjoy people laughing and smiling at him. Braithwaite brought the former pickup truck back through the area, more than two years after buying the original vehicle from a junkyard in Genesee County’s Argentine Township. One day he decided he wanted to turn a Ford F-150 into a banana and travel the world in it. So, what he calls his, “Crazy desire to do something ridiculous” became a yellow-tinged reality. SOURCE: DAILYJOURNAL.NET
The case of the missing prisoner
SOURCE: DAILYMAIL.CO.UK
Being thin is in
The house will fit between two tower blocks in Poland
A Polish architect has come up with a design for the world’s narrowest house which will measure just 60-inches-wide and fit between two tower blocks in Warsaw, Poland. The house will include one bedroom, a kitchen, bathroom and lounge over four floors. The design utilises the length of the tiny gap between the buildings, with each floor going back almost 40 feet. Commenting on his design, architect Jakub Szczesny said, “I saw the gap and just thought it needed filling. It will be used by artists.” The first person to live in the tiny house will be Israeli writer Etgar Keret. The writer will have to use a series of ladders to move between floors as the building is too small to accommodate sets of stairs. At present the world’s narrowest house is located on Great Cumbrae, off Scotland’s North Ayrshire coast, but while measuring 47-inches at the front, ‘The Wedge’ stretches to 22-ft at the back. Explaining the difference between the two buildings, a member of Szczesny’s team said, “Ours is the same all the way through, so we are narrower for longer.” SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
Squirrel pulls off incredible flying nut catch This hungry squirrel took a large leap of faith in an attempt to find some lunch. The amazing natural acrobatic skills possessed by Britain’s grey squirrels was captured by wildlife photographer Brian Bevan. Taken just near his home in Bedfordshire, a series of snaps shows the lengths grey squirrels will go to bag a meal. The image was created when one of the critters leaped over the camera which was pointed skywards. Often seen as a pest, the grey squirrel hoards food in a secure location for future feasts. But Bevan, who used to be a falconer, wanted to shed new light on the squirrel and decided to commission the work. “I absolutely love wildlife but we’ve all seen pictures of squirrels just sitting around time and time again and I wanted to do something different,” he said. “I was trying to capture a moment frozen in time, which people don’t normally get to see and hopefully I’ve managed that. It takes patience but it wasn’t really difficult getting the pictures because squirrels are much more co-operative when they have something to do.” SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
Cheeky monkey A macaque monkey in Indonesia took a camera from a wildlife photographer to take snaps of himself in a variety of poses. David Slater, from Coleford, Gloucestershire, was on a trip to a small national park north of the Indonesian island of Sulawesi when he met the incredibly friendly bunch. One of the primates went to investigate the equipment before becoming fascinated with his reflection in the lens. And it wasn’t long before the crested black macaque hijacked the camera and started snapping away sending awardwinning photographer Slater bananas. Slater, 46, said, “One of them must have accidentally knocked the camera and set it off because the sound caused a bit of a frenzy. At first there was a lot of grimacing with their teeth showing because it was probably the first time they had ever seen a reflection. They were quite mischievous jumping all over my equipment, and it looked like they were already posing for the camera when one hit the button. The sound got his attention and he kept pressing it. At first it scared the rest of them away but they soon came back — it was
Tough love
Taisto Miettinen and Kristiina Haapanen have once again proved that they are the top wife-carrying team in Finland, after the couple won the infamous Wife Carrying World Championship for the third time running. The pair were victorious in the novelty race in Sonkajarvi, taking the title for the third consecutive year. No other couple in the 16-year history of the competition has managed to take three successive wife-carrying championships. The event sees husbands sprint 250 metres, leap hurdles and then cross a water pool in around one minute. Throughout, each man must carry his ‘wife’ — competitors do not have to be married — over his shoulders, with her legs wrapped around his neck. However, their latest victory was hard-earned, with Miettinen and Haapanen taking the victory by less than a second. Miettinen said, “The course was trickier this year due to the water obstacle, which was deeper. The weather conditions were also particularly tough, 30 degrees Celcius is too much for me.” Legend has it that the sport of wife-carrying is based on the story of Finnish thief Herkko Rosvo-Ronkainen, who was said to steal food and women from nearby villages and run off carrying them over his head. SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
A woman was caught trying to sneak her common-law husband out of a Mexican prison in a suitcase following a visit. Staff at the prison in Chetumal in Quintana Roo state noticed the woman seemed nervous and was pulling a bulky, wheeled suitcase. Prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the fetal position. The prisoner is serving a 20-year sentence for a 2007 conviction for illegal weapons possession. Arjona was arrested and charges are pending. Security at Mexican state prisons is notoriously lax. Jailbreaks are common, inmates are often found to be directing criminal operations from behind bars, and corrupt guards are often found to be involved. SOURCE: WEB.ORANGE.CO.UK
Is it Zonkey, Donkra or a Zedonk? amazing to watch.” “He must have taken hundreds of pictures by the time I got my camera back, but not many were in focus. He obviously hadn’t worked that out yet. I wish I could have stayed longer as he probably would have taken a full family album,” Slater added. SOURCE: TELEGRAPH.CO.UK
Your boss won’t ‘like’ this! So you can’t log on to Facebook at work. No worries. A new website lets you browse Facebook at work without fear of getting caught. The website developed by a sly Ivy League university student is attempting to change all that for good — or for bad, depending on which side of the office you may be sitting. The ingenious site, named Hardlywork.in, automatically converts your Facebook news feed into an excel spreadsheet, so procrastinating at work appears to onlookers like dedicated number-crunching. Users can instantly see what their friends are up to on Facebook, with updates from friends appearing as new spreadsheet rows. Pictures and videos uploaded can be viewed by hovering over the entries and users can interact, ‘liking’ the updates with a simple click on the spreadsheet. The page, with its intentionally corporate look, is slyly titled ‘daily cash reconciliation’ so wasting time appears to nosy onlookers as diligent financial work. The site was created by Yale computer science major Bay Gross, 20, after a friend doing a government internship told him she had to wait until after work to read his Facebook updates. Gross launched the site last Sunday after spending just 15 hours developing it. It has been immensely well received since its launch, receiving 10,000 unique visitors per day. SOURCE:DAILYMAIL.CO.UK
A rare ‘zonkey’ has been born in a China zoo, the result of a moment of passion between a female zebra and a donkey who shared an enclosure at Xiamen Haicang Zoo in the south-east of the country. The zonkey/donkra came into the world last Sunday, sporting cute striped legs and pale lines down its brown body. Staff at the zoo say the creature had a difficult birth. However, the zonkey weighed 30kg and was nearly a metre tall when it eventually arrived. When a male zebra mates with a female donkey — an opposite scenario — the newborn is known as a zebroid, a creature that’s apparently more common than a zonkey/donkra, according to people who know about these occurrences. SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK
Biting off more than you can chew
Grill chefs at the Alameda County Fair wowed the crowds and Guinness World Record officials by unveiling the largest commercially available hamburger, weighing in at an incredible 777lbs (352.4kg). The burger, which easily surpassed the previous record of 590lbs (267.6kg) was cooked by barbecue chef Ted Reader in Toronto, Canada, last May. It was created by the combined genius of Brett Enright from Juicy’s Outlaw Grill in Phoenix and Nick Nicora from local company Ovations Food Services. The burger took 15 hours to cook, having started at 5am in order to have the hefty meal ready for an 8pm sit-down, and was made with just one huge beef patty. Enright said he came up with the idea while on a month off from his job in December 2010. “I thought, ‘I bet I could build the world’s largest burger’,” he said. “So I looked it up.” Anyone that fancied a taste of the burger behemoth paid 99c (Rs85), with all proceeds going to the Alameda County Community Food Bank. SOURCE: METRO.CO.UK